Tourists, Swimmer's Ear, and Personal Journeys

Gorgeous day here on PEI for our 7,000 tourists from the Emerald Princess and Veendam!!  I wish it was this nice all the time.  Too tired to do much with it, but at least the kids are outside.  I had to take Benaiah to the doctor for his ear b/c he says the sound is muffled.  There's nothing wrong with it though.  The doctor mentioned that even the slightest bit of too much loudness from earphones and earbuds can cause hearing loss, so we are going to stay away from those for awhile and see if it heals itself.  we have a place to go for a hearing test as well.  Benaiah had a lot of ear infections as an infant/toddler, but no tubes.  And now he gets water stuck in his ear when he swims.  But this muffling has gone on for 2 months.  I feel bad that it's been 2 months, but we were hoping it was just swimmer's ear.  anyway, we did a little bit of school, but it's on days like this that history and science don't get done, and that's ok.  we only do them 3 or 4 days a week, so we can have errand running days.  I'm feeling less angry and frustrated today though, so I hope that continues.  Gary comes to visit in a few days, so that always brings it's own up and down emotions and reactions, good and bad.  I'm only human and I'm discovering that God doesn't expect me to be perfect in my emotions and reactions.  I expect that I will fail, as I learn to express myself better and relate to others.  And that's where forgiveness and grace, and communication come in.  Silent treatments do not work.  Although, at times, I wish my parents could have used the silent treatment.  we always knew some of the things they were thinking.  but that's how it was, and as Scripture says, the consequences of a person's sins can be felt by the children and the children's children.  it's up to us to break the cycle, as best that we can, by recognizing those patterns and finding ways to improve them.  that's why counseling is so vital to me.  hopefully I won't need it forever, but, it's such a great way to discuss where I'm at and who I am, and where I'm going, etc., especially when Jared doesn't want to talk about it.  the right questions and the right perspective can make all the difference when you are on the journey and discovering yourself.  My life is good.  And by good, I mean fairly stable, joyfilled, moving at a steady pace.  No immediate crisis.  I don't know how long this break will last, but I hope it will for awhile still as I heal.  Losing both parents, having family members with difficulties, hurts alot in ways that it's hard to understand.  I wish my parents could see where Jared and I are at now.  The college, homeschooling, our marriage.  So much to be thankful for and I know they would be proud and enjoy it as well.  I can't be sure they know, the Bible doesn't say either way, but it's nice to think that they know.  Thanks for reading my ramblings, and maybe someday I will really get this blog going....