Year 5, April 27th-30th, 2020: Dreamland, Drivebys and Flyovers? Or not!

It's Monday. Let's do this. Day 39.

Can I go one day without a new/old ailment cropping up? Today was the gut. I had to reschedule my chiropractor appointment it was that bad. And I couldn't go for a walk or do much of anything on this gorgeous day outside. But I did sit outside for a little bit later in the day. The kids bounced on the trampoline as normal. Jared had his normal 10am Monday morning work Zoom call. He sent 4 big boxes of the new book #deaconstrong out. School got done, but it took me a good 3 hrs. Typical for Monday I think. I just need to remind myself that it's ok that it took 3 hrs. In fact, that's little compared to what others put in. I'll add 30-60 minutes in the morning with Abishai come the fall. I was thinking about that today and how I've slowly slipped into some new routines that will be great for the fall. Like working with Abishai one on one, either playing or on some school work. The older kids will still have the freedom to spend the morning doing their independent work. Abishai doesn't always have screen time during our read aloud time and that was on purpose to start including him on read aloud time. Some encourage the little kids to join them sooner, but I don't have patience like that. Today I didn't. Today he got the screen and it was bliss. Oh, I did put the flip table in the garage so he's lost his gym for read alouds. Whoops. He brought out the little sandbox and some cars and things anyway. I might have to reinstitute the "morning basket" again for him with memory work and such. I'll work on that in August. I'm not worried about that now. Fun stuff!

Benaiah did his usual, sort of. He woke up at 1, stayed in bed, rolled out maybe at 2:30? Showered, and was headed over to Ava's and then church. He didn't sit at his computer and was barely in the kitchen. He helped out with tech for the prerecording of Sunday's service. I asked him if he was going to wear a mask, and he said no. Well, thank God, literally, we are surrounded by loving people because a great friend of ours made him put it on in order to sit next to her in the tech booth. Great call, Mary! We love you! We do have to start letting ourselves out of the house at some point, and Benaiah has been ancy to help. I'm sure he feels a bit cut off from his team of adults. So I'm glad he got to go. I'm not glad that he didn't spend much time with us the last few days. Sigh. I did look at graduation party decor today. It's pretty generic and standard but honestly, I don't mind. I can get everything in purple (and black) even with graduation hats and 2020 on them for the same prices as I get all our other party stuff. And I talked with our photographer neighbor up the street to see if we can get at least the senior pics down outside our house on maybe the brick walls so I can cross that off my list.

Otherwise, we survived the day just the same. I think I wrote it in the last post, but I'm getting a little stuck in our routine and the mundane. I did sign up for a fitness program, Beachbody, through someone I've gotten to know only through Instagram. I can't remember now how I "met" her but she is the sweetest young mama/teacher! Anyway, I've watched her do her thing for at least a year now, and decided, why not, let's get some accountability going. I did some prep work last night and was all set to try it today and then my gut threw fits. So, we'll try tomorrow. I picked a workout series called Barre, which is based on ballet, but also does some yoga. I watched the pre workout videos and the sweet instructor on there has a unique story to tell as well. She sounds very gentle and yet encouraging. Lots of modifiers and enchancers to all the moves. I understood most of the moves and I still do some of them sometimes, so it doesn't look extremely hard, but somewhat challenging to keep up the pace. And yes, there's a nutrition piece, but I'm not going to put as much focus on it. We'll see.I want to fit into the two pairs of good quality long capri lightweight fabric paints I have that are size 10. I tried wearing one yesterday for awhile and it was just too tight. Even 10lbs will make a huge difference. 20lbs before November is my goal. I almost got there once. I need to get there again. My BMI is too high. Even 20lbs will not get me in the target range for healthy bmi. So, don't say "oh, you look great!" I don't feel great. This shape is still unfamiliar to me, even after 4 pregnancies (hint, I weigh more than 2 of my pregnancies at the end, and I'm only 15 lbs away from the top weight of Keturah and Abishai's pregnancies, and because I carry a lot of weight in the front, I look and feel pregnant. It's gross). Anyway, so maybe tomorrow, which is disappointing, but that's where I'm at.

Yup, Monday. Normal day. Pretty decent. No major blowups. Work got done. House got picked up. Pretty normal. Pretty boring. I guess that means that stress level is low, which is a great thing, right? So I'll take that for now.

Benaiah said he wasn't going to wear a mask. Well, our dear friend Mary made him. I'm glad he respects his elders. She also said she had her lead pipe handy if he didn't listen. And Mrs. Melissa McCollum chimed in that the lead pipe usually works for her, too. Bwahahaha. Poor kid. He's got too many adults looking out for him. He was very happy to get out of the house and help out again.

So, Abishai came in with an allergic type rash on his feet. He had a reaction to hay when we went on a hayride to the pumpkin patch a couple of years ago, so I know he's sensitive to some grasses. But why am I just noticing this? Does this normally happen and I'm just oblivious? Probably. He runs in the same path to and from the trampoline. Maybe the grass was a bit wet which transferred the allergens? It didn't happen later in the day when he was out. And it did got away within two ours. It wasn't itchy then, but he does often scratch his feet, too. Poor guy. I didn't put anything on it and it didn't get any worse than this.

One of my favorite trees in the spring, our 3rd spring in this house. Plus the good old hound.

See, Keturah, he says, if you just choose a cool spot in the shade in the grass, everything is just fine at 70 degrees outside.

We've now become the third office building of e2. Ok, I guess there's the other two men and they might have a stockpile of books in their offices. Point is, books are being sent out from our house now.

Big boxes like these aren't very common though. And they were ready to get picked up by the post office. I'm so glad we can do everything online. I'm glad we can be the third "home" office.

These are the brand new books called #deaconstrong. Just published and the small orders will hopefully be sent out by next week. Just waiting on shipping supplies to arrive for them. Yes, these boxes of books fills in the spaces I just cleared in our garage, but at least my husband has a job to do.

Not much you can do when your gut is giving you trouble. I'll take in the breeze and try to work via my phone. It's too much effort to bring the laptop outside.

See, it was a gorgeous day!

Impromptu project. Jared went outside to think about something and check on one of his tree babies. He discovered carpenter ants in the tree next to our bedroom window! So it wasn't the lack of water like he thought. He chopped down 3/4 of the tree! And he put a ton of chemical down. This was at 5:30pm mind you. So, I called in the help. Jared doesn't seem to think the kids will help or think they grumble too much. I make them do it. No, you can't make them technically, but you don't eat if you don't work is a good motivator. We all live here, we all take care of our house. The more hands we have, the faster it goes. We work until the job is done. Those are some of my mantras.

Little guy was on little stick duty.

Keturah hauled everything over to the fence. I didn't think she could heave them over the fence, but she did do some of that. Then she hauled them to the burning area.

Justin helped get the large pieces over the fence and then he was on tuna making duty for dinner. He was pretty proud of himself for doing the tuna all by himself.

Jared kept chopping away. I was still not feeling 100% and bending over was not something I wanted to do. I raked a little and picked up a few sticks. Oh, and Justin took the wheelbarrow full of sticks to the backyard and put it away. We ate at 6:10 or so.

Abishai wanted to make his own sandwhich. He did a decent job!

CAPTION THIS! I had many thoughts floating through my head of what this looks like. Keturah said an "Indian dancer" i.e. a Native American or even African performing a ritual dance. I thought more along the lines of "Stop" or "Stay away" and a mixture of the pics below.

Rafiki from Lion King on the left. Maybe it was the red shirt and this monkey has a red nose and red bottom. I was thinking there was a scene where he would hold out his hand and stop the bad hyenas or something.

And then a friend of ours suggested this one after I posted it on Instagram. It's Gandalf saying, "You shall not pass!" Either way, I totally didn't know what the picture really looked like until I went to post it either. Hilarious! Jared the Fire Tamer!

Except, the Fire Tamer forgot about the gusty wind and he burned his tree! Justin had to stand there holding water on it until the fire died down so it wouldn't ignite again. Whoops! Justin also felt an ember or ash fall on his neck and burn him a little bit. Ouch!

Finally time for dinner! I suggested the trampoline, but Daddy said it would be too messy. Abishai took that to heart and dragged both the table and the stool out so he could eat and see the fire. Then he could get on the trampoline right away.

Jared didn't want the fire marshall to be called and didn't want to babysit the fire, so he put it out right away. Yes, that was ALL those big branches in he previous pictures. They burned incredibly fast. Plus he used lighter fluid like he normally does. That's why the flames got so high they hit the tree. Whoops. I get this Monday wasn't so boring after all.

Eating dinner on the trampoline. We should do more picnics out here for lunch before it gets too hot and buggy.

Abishai loves to eat outside! In his pjs of course!

Way to go Indiana for doing this way before the primaries! I didn't prompt this, but basically, because of the Covid-19, they want everyone to vote via absentee ballot. So they sent me (and hopefully Jared) the application form for it. Then we will get the ballot after that. The primary is on June 2nd, so Benaiah doesn't get to vote in it, but we'll have to get him register, or rather he needs to register, so he can vote in November. What a way to stay safe, Indiana!

P.S. I woke up after some very intense dreams. One was about the singer Matthew West and his wife. The other one was about going shopping during this crisis. Families were going into the stores but were either buying the wrong things or didn't have masks or something else went wrong. When they left, the inside of their camping van had been stripped. Or the parents were hauled away leaving this orphans hiding out in a break room of the store. It kind of reminded me of all of the talk about a police state. We are nowhere near a police state. The individual states still hold the power to make the rules about all of this. Yes, some are trying to fine people and write them up, but it's not that common. Some claim the flyovers happening this week (see Wednesday and Thursday) are military exercises to spy on us. Good grief. Can't we just trust that these flyovers are just that, a salute to hospital workers? We just happen to be in the path of our National Guard ones on Thursday and hopefully the Blue Angels on Wednesday, which is the 10th anniversary of my mother's death. I think I was also putting together some articles that are anti homeschooling and parents being hauled off to jail for home schooling and kids being left behind.Yes, I read too many news articles, I know. The Matthew West thing is because he and his wife are both on Instagram and share often and a hoot. He's like a younger Michael W. Smith. So, there's that. Interesting dreams and thoughts I have, eh?

Tuesday, the best day of the week this week! 75 degrees with a light breeze! I wish I had more activities outside and that I didn't have to beg the kids to go out with me. Covid-19 Day 40. "40 days of rain, rain, rain, but God won't flood the earth again..." It's a kid's song from the '80's. ANYWAY, Jared was in and out, picking up books from church so he could mail them with the other books at our house. He also had Bible study with the guys tonight and they met again in person, outside, not something we are fond of doing, but oh well. I don't know if the women will do that tomorrow since it might be wet and rainy. Benaiah had a class at 10 and then went to the school's parking lot so he could meet with the other seniors for their "senior lunch." I gave him $20 to buy lunch in exchange for him filling out a "Covid-19 memory book" thing. Worksheets that make up a time capsule type thing like we did sometimes at the beginning of the school years. He said that they didn't practice social distancing but instead played on the playground and dumped Alex in a trash can, locked him in and then pushed the trash can over. Say what?! He also said one of the kids smelled like illegal drugs and boasted about his spending on a football video game (probably betting?). Oi! Benaiah was one of the first people to leave and then he spent another 3 hrs sitting on Ava's lawn. Ahem. You spent 3 hrs yesterday with her and zero time with us. Thanks. Ok, he did eat supper with us. But now he's back on the video games. I had to close the inside windows because I can't stand the video game/smack talk with Chase. Sigh.

Ok, my thoughts our a little bit chaotic. I was trying to watch a live Q and A with Michael W. Smith and too many people were on either our wifi or the neighborhood lines and it kept stopping, which was so frustrating. My brain is shutting down and I want to include some details from today AND watch my videos that piled up today, but it's already 9:30. Time for a deep breath and start again.

Ok, let's see. Morning time. Abishai. 50 mph. Asking for snacks from the pantry and screen time. He said, "I need to play Overwatch today so I can get good at it." Those are his words exactly! He's 5. Dude. Just stop. Justin was teasing him today, and I usually don't punish Justin because he will stop immediately when I tell him to, but, I had already punished Keturah and took away her screen time, so I decided to make it easy and took away Justin's time as well. Instead, while Jared was gone at Bible study, I had Justin "help" Abishai on Overwatch. Now, I didn't watch their game play, but I have a feeling that Justin got mere game play than Abishai. I also was just trying to get them outside more . I tried putting out the Twister game where you have to put your hands and feet on colored circles and get all twisted around, but no one would come out and play with me. They spent lots of time on the trampoline and Justin is teaching Abishai to do a flip from his knees. Abishai is actually getting quite good at all his jumps. He'd be an excellent candidate for gymnastics. Or karate. Or any sport really. He'd be a good team player and pays attention. We'll see when all the covid-19 bans are lifted in a couple of years after a vaccine is found. (I'm not going to even go there. At this point, I will follow whatever rules are in place and keep my mouth shut.)

Abishai keeps begging for the kids to come out and play but they'd rather sit inside and read. Reading is good. But they need physical activity too, especially on these beautiful spring days before the summer heat comes. Therefore, I didn't do any read alouds today. That puts me "behind" for the week, especially with a counseling appointment tomorrow and possible FaceTiming my sister while she's at my Mom and Dad's graves because tomorrow is the 10th anniversary of my mom's passing. I'm sure I mentioned that already. It's going to rain tomorrow, too, so I needed to get outside today. I don't know what I did between 1-3pm, our normal read aloud time, but I think I was partially waiting on kids to finish their math. I corrected their math and checked off everything else and said we'll go over everything tomorrow. And out the door I went. A book I preordered came today, I made driveway paint with cornstarch, water, and food coloring that actually showed up really well after it dried (which is now getting washed away, but that's ok). I went for a 45 minute walk around the block.

Oh! That's what we did at 1pm. We took a drive over to Grandma's house to get in line for a "birthday parade" for Granny Annie's 94th birthday! Gary and Leah's small group and a few others joined us, so maybe 15 cars? We drove past her house and honked and waved. Some gave her gifts. These kind of drive by birthday parades, wedding showers, baby showers, celebrations are becoming pretty popular. We used my car so Abishai could stand up and wave out the sunroof and he LOVED it! Justin and Socks were in the backseat, and even though Keturah was reluctant, I think she had a fun time, too! Adrienne and her kids joined in as well. It was a blast! Now I understand why people have been having fun leaving gifts at other people's homes. I guess I'm just too busy and selfish to think of these things.  Giving and receiving gifts is not my love language. I mean, I used to write notes of encouragement and try to buy things for Jared, but he doesn't care for those things, so I stopped doing them altogether. And then we would have these Secret Sisters in MOPS we would buy gifts for. And then I kept receiving scented candles and knick knacks which were fine in the beginning but then became clutter. SO, I don't like gifting mugs, candles, and anything like that. Chocolate and coffees sure. But then I would have to make time to go to a coffee shop. I don't have that time. And that's ok. I do have some selfish priorities right now, like getting my body back into a better place. 45 minutes is a long time and I can do a lot of things with that 45 minutes. SO, I have to pick and choose. I might not win any friends right now, but that's ok. Sometimes I do miss people doing that for me and I wonder if the "be a friend and then have a friend" is really true or not. Or I'm just still in a very offensive stage. Ok, let's not go down that road, moving on....

Actually, I think that covers it. I did get a decent amount of pictures and videos today. So I'll tell more stories through those. Yup, that's it I guess. And these pics will be way out of order, I'm sure. But it's getting late, so, here we go.

Yeah!

So true!

Megan Fox Unlocked is a YouTube channel and this is what she's been using in her water. She's a Mennonite and so sweet!

Uh, since I don't like most Disney shows and a lot of these were made after 2000, I'll stick with what I know.

I've tried to look up my Corrie before on Facebook and can't find him. Sigh. I'm sure I still have our class photo somewhere though. He's the one who couldn't come to my birthday party so I went to his house to swim in his above ground pool. I was short and couldn't swim, so I held onto his arm for dear life. Then when we got out, he got a splinter. While his mom was getting the splinter out, I watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on his tv. True story!

This is how we found little man this morning. He was eating dry OATMEAL and raisins that he had gotten out himself with very little spillage. Great job!

My sister read to me the last few words my mom spoke. I guess she had written these words down 10 years ago. Stefanie was the one with my Dad and Mom the second night my Mom was in the hospital so I could have a break. I got a call at like 3 am the next morning to come to the hospital. I brought the ring that my Dad had ordered that not 4 but 5 birthstones on it, represent my siblings and I, and our much older half brother who was given up for adoption. My dad put that ring on my mom's finger and she passed away about 30 minutes after that. We were in a special area in the hospital where the nurses were less intrusive and my mom wasn't hooked up to any machines besides an IV pump for morphine. When the nurse or doctor came in to check on her, they would use a stethoscope. It was called the Rose unit, I believe, at Methodist Hospital, the same hospital my Dad had surgery in a year later, and that I had my surgery in. They had a wonderful family room with rocking chairs, snacks, even toys for kids, etc. Best place we could be. And in my mom's room, there was a separate area with a pull out couch bed for my Dad. And you could order meals to be brought to the room from the cafeteria. I'm sure it's much different right now with the Covid-19, but it was perfect for us. My sister, Dad and I were the ones that saw my Mom take her last breathe. She didn't huff and puff as much as my Dad ended up doing 17 months later in a nursing home. And she was ready. They also made handprints with her hands using gold paint of some sort with a special poem. Oh and you could bring in any music or whatever you wanted. It was hospice care. All DNR's. I'll never forget it, or being by my Dad's side when he passed away. It was hard to watch, but I'm glad I was there. I do get FOMO, fear of missing out, and as the oldest child, I wanted to be the one there. Hard memories, but it's been 10 years. I don't grieve as hard as I once did. I just keep passing on their legacies to my children. That's all I can do. I took care of my parents, I did my duty, and I'm at peace with it knowing that they are both in Heaven. There's nothing to worry about now.

Abishai asked for some rocks and logs for his construction workers today. I asked if he wanted me to make them out of foil or construction paper but he said no.

Can you guess what they are?

They are those nosebleed cotton things! I cut them up for the "rocks." Fun!

Here we are, clowning around, waiting for the birthday parade to Granny Annie's house to start! She is 94 years old!

See, she's already smiling!

Watching our neighbors get in their truck to follow us!

Lots of people in this parade!

There's Granny Annie! She was overwhelmed by the love!

And then we turned around at the end of the street and paraded back through. We were honking and have a great time! I bet our neighbors thought we were weird. Thankfully, a lot of them have been around for decades or have met Granny Annie, so I'm sure they would understand. It took all of 20 minutes to do this.

Grandma Johnson put this altogether and helped Granny Annie with her gifts. Racquel and Sophia baked Granny Annie her favorite treat. Sophia adores Granny Annie and Granny Annie loves her. It's so sweet!

94 years young and still doing yardwork!

Hanging out the the sunrooof in his "Too Fast to Sleep" jammies!

Watching Esther (Eli's sister, who also plays video games online with them) play her harp! She is amazing!

I finally did the "painting a message on the driveway" thing. I painted this because it's how I felt with the glorious weather!

Abishai's first painting.

Cornstartch pain is quite interesting. It can get pretty globby and dries fast. Just had more water and you're good to go again.

It doesn't really show up at first, but it only takes seconds to start drying and showing up.

Oh my goodness, it's here! I've been hearing her talk about it for months! She's been writing it for 2 years, sometimes at 3 am, because of insomnia and kids. And they added one more kid last September after this picture was taken. "This Gathered Nest" is my favorite YouTube channel right now. They homeshcool, Dad helps out a lot, they are very intelligent, Christians, sweet, sweet, Southern people. Incredible story. I can't wait to learn more! She has one channel for family vlogs, one channel for stories and declutters, makeup and clothes, and now they have a podcast to talk about deeper things. So much fun!

Yes, I sent this to her.

Creaky door giggles.

Zombie coming to get Abishai!

Is that that hawk?

Oh no! I thought he was crying because he got a scratch. It's actually an insect sting! No wonder it wasn't getting better! Poor Abishai! Thankfully, it didn't get any redder than this and I used some anti sting med on it. He was crawling in the grass under the trampoline and must have been on a nest of biting ants or a bee or hornets that we've seen around lately. Ouch!

Yes! 5,000 steps on my walk alone!

I made twice baked potatoes! I precooked them in the morning and then let them set in the oven as it cooled off. They were still slightly warm when I retrieved them at 5:30, about 6 hrs later. I scooped out the insides, mashed them up, added some milk and spices, and scooped them back in. Then I cooked them for another 20 minutes along with some burgers in the oven. I love potato skins but we didn't have chives or enough sour cream and all that. I liked these though! I didn't follow a recipe.

Microwaved frozen asparagus and oven cooked hamburger makes it a meal!

I'm so glad we left the table on the deck this year. It's squishy, but it works. Justin gave us a good laugh with putting up the umbrella though. He was trying to open it before putting it on the pole, and forgot that there is a tie holding the sides together. It was such a "Justin" kind of moment. Poor guy.

Hey look who came to join us!

Gotcha on film, Keturah!

Hi, I'm from Security.And you must watch me do my tricks on the trampoline. He was our dinner entertainment for sure.

Cool dude.

Phew. Insect sting is mostly gone. I did check for a stinger. I think everyone has now been stung at least once and no one is allergic. Yeah!

Caught this girl actually washing her face! We told her she needed to consistently wash her face before we got her a cell phone, so, she has some new motivation. Although, her routine needs a little help. Check out her long ponytail! Man do I wish she wore it like this more often! It wouldn't get so greasy! She does practice doing braids on her dolls' hair though.

Hm,...where did all his pjs go? I hid Abishai's pjs after he wore them and I washed them because he would just wear the same ones over and over. Well, it's time to restock the bin.

It's a Christmas miracle! Restocked with summer pj's on top and ready to go! It took probably took 3 months to go through all of these since he wears them for several days in a row and he has at least 2 dozen if not more sets of pjs.

Day 41, Wednesday. We conquered Wednesday without a meltdown. I had my list. I had my times to get online and do school and shower. And it got done. I still feel queasy today and I think it's because I tried that fruit tea in my water and I know sometimes I've had issues with having too much tea and my gut. I'm about to jump on my third hr long "call" for the day, this one being with Mr. Jim Daneker, backround keyboardist and programmer for Michael W. Smith for the last 25 years. He's doing a "live" on Facebook and answering questions about touring and tech stuff. The guy has a home studio with literally 25 different kinds of keyboards all programmed differently. He's a genius. I hate having my earbuds in but it's worth it. I have met him once I think. Here goes!

It was a rainy, moderately cool day, so no one went outside. School is done and caught up. Benaiah wrote a 1,100 words for a paper in under 20 minutes. He sat in his truck while Ava sat in her car because the ground was wet and it was drizzly and they talked for over an hour. Everyone had their small groups. Mine went ok. I learned some good news about neighbors moving or not moving. I feel like the 5th wheel over here, but I have a plan to fix that. Individual coffee dates and such. We'll see! My kids don't seem to care who lives in the neighborhood, but I think Abishai will. Lots of kids his age. I know it's hard when you already have your friends and you don't want to be forced into friendships. But I have big dreams and obviously God has a plan for all of this, too.

Wow, that was a fun live with Jim Daneker! He's a great guy! He didn't answer any of my questions per say, but it was fun. (He just went back through and answered mine! He's so cool!) He shared pictures of behind the scenes from the past 20 years or so. I remember some of those fun things or hearing about them. Anyway, back to reality land.

Hm,...yup, it was a day. Tomorrow is a new one. Same thing, day in and day out. Oh, I did say at supper tonight that I'm getting a bit tired of hearing the same jokes, the same noises, the same topics from my family. The same arguments. We have a lot of kids that repeat what the others say in that moment or soon afterwards. Sigh. It's like hearing Jared's words or his mannerisms for the last 20 years, 365 days a year but 5x over. The same, "When do I get screen time? Why do I have to go outside? What can I eat? Can I have candy? Why do I have to change my underwear? Why do I have to do my chores? He's so cute. Socks is getting old. (Blech and make it louder. Laugh at every fart that happens. Argue about everything.)" I need some "meat" in this conversation! It's like a broken record every single day! I don't mind doing some of the same work, but let's make some progress! The rules and whys we do certain things don't change from day to day. Yes, you have to use your book to find the answers. Yes, you have to write it down. Yes, I need you to read this and that. No, I don't want to hear about Pokemon or Overwatch. No, you can't have a phone. No, you can't buy this Lego or that Batman set. Can we get to some deeper conversations like "Why is the sky blue?" Well, at least my kids have always kept their clothes on. One little guy came into our zoom Bible study tonight totally naked. Yikes! There's another mom chat with other homeschool moms tomorrow, so I might go to that just so I can talk about something else!

Oh, and there were no flyovers by the Blue Angels today because of weather. I don't know about tomorrow's flyover by the National Guard. We'll see!

Yummy breakfast. I am trying to get on this diet thing, but it's hard when your stomach is off track. Tater tots, two eggs, "everything but the bagel" seasoning and hemp seeds.

Woot! Woot! I'm excited for this! Plus it's after Abishai and Keturah's bedtime so I can enjoy it in peace!

Since today was the 10th anniversary of our Mom's death, my sister and I Facetimed at the gravesite today.  She said it was sunny and in the 50's, and no snow around. She had spent 4 hrs there yesterday by herself singing songs to Mom (and Dad who is also buried there) and enjoying the quiet time. Mom and Dad died 17 months apart. It took us another 3 yrs to finalize and install the headstone. They are buired in an old, quiet tiny graveyard in our hometown of Hooksett, NH. It's surrounded by woods, there's a stream nearby, and the old 1700's New England style stone "fence." Perfect for Mom's love of the country life. What I remember most was when we buried Dad and seeing the hole that was dug so close to Mom's casket. That was surreal to think we had just been there 17 months earlier with him. Hooksett is a town of about 10,000 people or so, but for such an old cemetery, I was surprised there were still lots available there. My dad did the phone calls and purposefully bought both lots. The company that did the gravestone was one of those 50 years in the business "gold old boys" that my parents knew from living in Hooksett for 18 years and being involved in politics and the school board, etc. Anyway, it's the perfect spot. I wasn't emotional today. I had stuff to get done. It's actually been a pretty low key emotional month about this topic. Talk to me about Benaiah and graduation and open house and all that stuff, well, that's where I've been emotional. And just the "my baby is grown up" but some of the push back he's been given me and trying to negotiate when I should say something and when I should back off. That's the hard part. I still have him home for another year, so it's more about acclimating to a new routine and we had to do that sooner than expected. Anyway, my parents would have been there at graduation, that's for sure. My oldest three are the only grandkids they had met. Auggie, Rosie, Eli, and Abishai all came after their deaths. Well, Dad did meet Auggie because he was born in November of 2010. So, I'm in a good place today. I'll tear up at graduation when my parents aren't there. Or I'll at least think of them. My sister Stefanie was closest to my mom because she would call her every day. I would get to physical see my Mom and Dad but it was short visits and I didn't call in between that much. We all had "dummy" phones back then, so texting wasn't a thing either.They were both there for my college graduation and when Justin and Keturah were born. They flew for graduation but had moved to Indianapolis right before Justin was born. I only really got to be involved in their day to day stuff towards the end. They would come visit us, too, and come for birthday parties. The first time that my mom drove to our house in Beech Grove, she didn't know there was a school zone AND she wasn't wearing her seatbelt! A cop caught her on both accounts! In NH, at the time, seatbelts were only required by kids 12 and under. And my mom wouldn't always wear one. So, she wasn't used to our roads and laws yet, and well, she got a ticket. Lol. She didn't forget after that!

Yeah, yearbooks! I'm pretty sure Benaiah said he didn't care about the yearbook when they were asking for everyone to send in pictures of what they are doing at home in quarantine life and he refused to do it, but tonight he said, "Of course I want a yearbook." Go figure. I never know what this kid wants.

Dating under quarantine 2020 life. It certainly cuts down on the worry about physical contact. I can't believe how strong these two are on keeping to the rules. An how they can sit there in the cold talking for 3 hrs every single day. And then they talk when Benaiah gets up at 1pm for awhile, and then between 7-8pm before her phone is put up. Wowzers, what do they NOT know about each other or NOT talk about? I don't think Jared and I can have that much conversation, even when we were dating. It took me a long time way into our marriage to be really comfortable sharing my thoughts and my doubts. These two are way ahead of the game, and it's a great thing.

That little yellow Bumblebee Transformer car usually sits on Jared's desk at the church office because he doesn't want it to be played with constantly and get broken. Well, he grabbed it when he was at the office picking up books this week because he knew Abishai liked it. Abishai has been carrying it around and insists on eating suppers with it, just like his Dinosaury sits with him at breakfast time. Again, I think Abishai has Jared wrapped around his little finger.

Showing the women I'm finally doing a puzzle like they did while waiting on everyone to get on the Zoom call for Bible study. This is such a pain the rear puzzle and I already have not desire to keep going. Instead of huge blocks of the same color with 20-50 pieces that I could easily sort out into piles, each "section" is maybe 5-10 pieces. It's easy to find their place on the map, but then to find the remaining pieces for that section is a nightmare. I've told Keturah that she can work on it if she wants to, but don't rearrange the pieces inside the puzzle too much. She discovered on the bottom of the box that there was this little cardboard stand that you can put the box top on as reference. So cool!

Hi, Jimbo! Jim Daneker in the house! You can think YOU have a tough job. Try working with Michael W. Smith for 25 years. This man has a ton of technical talent and keyboard talent in his own right. Quietest, most hard working behind the scenes guy on the planet. He is the show director and puts it all together, lights, sounds, etc. for the whole show and runs it from his computer at the keyboards. He also sings sometimes. But you never really hear or notice his parts. He was showing us some pictures from back in the 1990's and early 2000's of some of his old gear and the computers, wow! All of that equipment is now slimmed down to a single hard drive he can use on any Apple computer. He said he starting sending letters to Michael's management when he was in high school and God finally opened the doors for him 3 years later. He skipped out of the "15 passenger van" touring life and went right to the top. Amazing! Anyway, our family knows how much goes into show production from all of Benaiah's behind the scenes tech talk and from being there ourselves. Most evenings that Jim does this, he talks about tech stuff, so I probably won't listen in every time, but it was sweet to get this peek into touring life. Some of it I know, and a lot of it I didn't. I did meet him once or twice on the road. I can't wait to wave to him from the front row in Louisville in October! I picked seats on his side of the stage, too, stage right (so the audience's left). Hopefully I can see him depending on how tall the platform is! And comparing dates, he started with Michael in 1995. That was the show I regretted skipping because I was taking the SAT the next day but it wasn't the test that would count. My friends went and got me a poster though. But the day I met Michael for the first time, Jim would have been playing too, in 1998. I will have to go back and look at my pics. I was a little too obsessed with getting Michael on my roll of film (not digital!) that I probably didn't think about the band as much. Anyway, time well spent! Made my day!

Day 42. Same. I had a feeling it was going to be a bit tougher for me today. The kids got working and everything, but I didn't stay on top of things and time got away from us. I just needed to get away so I didn't read to Keturah as long as I could of. It's not big deal. All the regular stuff got checked. I need my coffee with a lot of chocolate syrup this afternoon and then I did a 20 minute Barre Blend workout. Not all the moves, mind you, but I did some and didn't worry about being perfect or pushing too hard because that doesn't work for me. It's a very nice instructor in the videos who really focuses on being ok with whatever you can do. I like that. I push myself hard enough as it is. I like when people give me permission to do my best, but give myself some grace. She said things like, "Now I know you won't be able to do this fully now, but at the end of 60 days, we'll get you there!" And I truly think that by modifying everything and doing it at my own pace, I'll make progress. These workouts are ballet based, with lots of squats and pile's and I can do some of those. I just didn't have a mat for the ab workout so I didn't worry about it. Just keep moving and keep the heart rate up. Anyway, I do like having accountability now and knowing the commission on my program went to a young mom of two kids who is so super sweet. I'm not caught up in "Oh, that person lost 150lbs, maybe I will!" kind of mentality, but I like having something to do on my non walking days.

Today was miserable outside. That didn't help me mood any. I did have to tell everyone to leave the school room except for the person I was working with. I screamed at Abishai, poor guy. I had spent a lot of time otherwise, so it's all fine. In fact, in our snuggle time this morning, he said, "Thank you, Mom. I love you." And I said, "Why are you saying thank you?" "Because I love you." Oh my gosh. Finally! One of my kids actually says thank you! And he did repeat those words after I yelled at him. I should have apologized but didn't. It's not something that comes naturally to me. I won't go into it. Otherwise normal day and I puttered with a few things online and on my desk. I had a 2 1/2 zoom call with my homeschool friends. Man, I don't know what it is but I can talk to them forever! Maybe because for Bible study we are so focused on trying to keep to the hour we have or they have other things to do or I don't what. But I could sit and listen to my homeschool friends forever! So, my goal, is to get to that kind of level with these new friends. I will say I've known these homechool friends for 3 years or more now. And Bible Study is only 4 months old. I will say, I'm ready to go sit in a parking lot somewhere and sit in the back of our vans 6 ft or more apart and just be with each other. Or go do a driveway workout with my neighborhood/Bible Study friends. I will stay wear a mask at the grocery store and wipe down groceries and all that. We won't go out unless we really need something. But yeah, I'm edging closer and closer to not caring as much.

Tomorrow the Governor will have his weekly press conference and give us the big update that will determine a lot of things. The Stay At Home order for the state ends tomorrow. Our Mayor of Indianapolis, however, extended our county's order through May 15. Which is quite interesting because the big mall operator, Simon Property Group, said they will open up all the malls, including the ones in the city, on Saturday. They will have shorter hours, tape on the floor to indicate social distancing, masks are recommended, the food court will have less tables, etc. I've been dying to go to Old Navy and look for light weight long sleeve shirts for our Israel trip, so I went online today and found some! Yes, I splurged, again, but they had a one day major sale plus I guess I had some extra points, so I got everything for more than half off. Now, I don't know if I'll be able to go into the store to exchange anything, so we'll see. I want to go to the shoe store in the mall in June so I can get some sneakers and break them in before November. Again, we'll see. And since the mall has been shut down for over a month, I bet they had a lot to do the last few days to clean up the stores and redo the clothing lines, etc. Meanwhile at home I cut up a furnace filter insert so we could put them in our homemade masks we got. That was fun getting the wire off and the glue that the frame left behind. But now those are ready to go.  After the press conference tomorrow, I think Jared and I need to discuss further what we are ok with and what we aren't ok with before we are asked over for dinner or before church opens again, etc. Where do our new boundaries lie? And I am done making dinner every night! Because everyone is home, be barely have leftovers. Plus I'm trying to stretch meat, so I only make enough for the evening. For example, I think the fish package we had was 2-3lbs of flounder. Between the 6 of us, we ate all the fish. Sigh. We did have some leftover chili from last night because I only put 1 lb of hamburger in it but like 6 cans of beans. They will eat means as long as there is a little bit of hamburger in it. Even Keturah will eat that. I'm just ready to eat out again, or get takeout, but we've had this policy in our house not to do that. Sigh. I think I might order papa murphy's pizza again tomorrow night or Saturday night.

Also, because of the cloudy icky weather, the Flyovers were canceled yesterday and today. The one for today will try again on Saturday morning. Ew, the women from nursery wanted to get together in a parking lot, but then I wouldn't be home for the flyover. And I wanted to buy a hoodie from the YouTubers in Alaska at noon. So, I might have the perfect excuse to stay home. I miss them, too. Sigh. Nobody is perfectly right and nobody is perfectly wrong. We have to trust God at some point, right?

Yeah, I feel better after talking to my friends. That felt really good hearing a)their struggles b)their solutions. And we don't run in the same church circles, but we're all Christians. That feels nice, too. Anyway, that's it. I want to get a few YouTube videos in before the end of the night.

Yes, it was Justin, again. Poor guy.

Jim answered my question on the FB page instead of the live video feed.

I had asked what it's like playing "second fiddle" to a huge star. Because sometimes I've felt like that when we are behind the scenes or playing backup or whatnot and Gary is out there on the front of the stage or whatever. But, it sounds like Jim wanted to play second fiddle all along. He's the silent partner making everything work for the Big Boss. Just like Jared is the silent partner at e2. I just like to give that behind the scenes person the recognition they deserve.

I asked him if he was an introvert or extrovert because I never see him in videos doing a lot of talking. He's usually working on his computer, not necessarily for the show that evening, but his other projects. His personal project took two years to make because he had to work on it in little chunks.

e2's new book was mentioned in the Christian Standard's e-newsletter!

Yup, I knew that one! Aldi!

This will now be on Saturday, but We live right between Franciscan Alliance and Community Health Network, so we should be able to hear, if not see these planes! It's now at 11:45-50 for us I believe.

The chalk paint dried out and I left it here to see what it would do. It's now just colored cornstarch. So weird! But cool! Oh, I know what it is! It's like the stuff the kids have thrown up in the air during their fall youth group parties! Super easy to wash out.

Abishai and I watched on of my fav crazy YouTuber families who moved from California, spent 9 months in an RV, while doing infertility treatments and a transfer (before leaving the California area), and have now settled on a homestead in Tennessee. They bought almost 40 chicks now, and are due with their first biological daughter in a couple of months. They adopted the two other girls. And this baby has major heart defects. This couple is insane, but so loving and fun, too. I couldn't handle their life. But we like to watch them because the girls are Abishai's age. The chicks were fun to see, too.

I defrosted the flounder and then just coated them with coconut flour that I had added a lemon pepper seasoning to an then fried them in lots of oil. They weren't crispy but they were soft and not dry. So good! And yes, lots of butter on brown rice and peas.  See, I can cook on the stove and not burn stuff when I fry things! I just don't like babysitting it.

This is the inside of a furnace filter. I cut them up to fit inside out masks. The hardest part was getting the wire off the fabric. Now they are cut to size and safe in a plastic ziplock so they will stay clean and ready to go.  Who knew two months ago this was going to be our life? Wow!

The End