Year 5, April 24th-26th, 2020: Ho, Hum, Changing Weather, Moods, and Surroundings

Friday, Day 36

Bummers! I woke up with my good old friend vertigo. So, I took a dramimine. That means I did take a nap this afternoon. It was a gorgeous day!  Super frustrating. Yesterday I welcomed the laying on the couch and taking a break, today, not so much. My eye is better, so that's a plus. It was really red after I spent time on the computer last night. I was able to walk around today without sunglasses, although I stayed inside because the sunlight was still too bright. We did the normal. Actually, I take that back. Justin spent the day mowing both yards and doing his Fortnite Friday thing. Keturah finished up her school work, even coloring some history pages while watching videos during her screen time. Abishai watched Thor or something. Benaiah got up late as usually, putzed around on homework and video games, took a shower, put on too much cologne and went to have a "date" with Ava. I was listening to something else when he told me exactly where he was going, some alcove near her house, but with social distancing of course. He's 6 weeks out from being 18, what can I do? They were getting Panera Bread take out. Which means, the kid bought food 3 or 4 times this week when he said he wouldn't be doing that. Sigh.

The days are just so routine lately. I started feeling sorry for myself that once again my legs felt like lead, my head was spinning, and all I could do was check email. Once again, I failed to model all the wonderful things you could do with your life, all the things I used to do. But I quickly reminded myself that no, I did set an example this week by finishing the garage. Someday, when they grow up, I just want them to remember that despite this physical ailments, I did try. I tried to do fun things. I tried to do the important things. I did feed them good food and keep up with daily tasks, just like my mother did. As I looked at my moccasin type slippers yesterday, I was reminded again that wow, I've become my mom. She had real gray moccasins just like them. Yikes! But that's not a bad thing. I do sleep more than my mom does (but barely) and I don't smoke cigarettes like she did. Oh and I do go to the doctor and eat better. But in general, her hard working attitude, her taking us to all our activities, and her routine of going to the grocery store early on Saturday morning spending about $100 to feed us for the week on simple meals (without it being beans and rice) is what I want to copy. And I do that. She had physical pain, too. I just don't want to die as early as she did. She did set a wonderful example, knitting socks for the Indians and military people. She took time to do Bible studies online. She watched sci fi shows, drank coffee, and did her own creative projects. She didn't do her hair or wear make up. She was humble. And on the 29th of this month, it will have been 10 years since we lost her. Wow, that went by so fast! 10 years! Would she be proud of us? Would she be sitting in the audience when Benaiah graduates high school? You betcha! She helped him with his lessons when I worked for Crescent Project. She let a legacy and I continued it.

So, yes, no need for guilt. Tomorrow is a new day and perhaps I can pull out some fun things to do since it's Saturday and I'll be feeling better. I'll finish the bookshelves, watch some homeschooling videos, and maybe pull out that crosstitch (that I should be doing instead of random phone video games). Or I won't. Maybe I'll start a puzzle because it will be raining. It's all about choices. But another week has come and gone. Have we made progress in our lives or have we just treaded water? It's hard to know sometimes. But then I look back at all the things we've done and learned in the last 18-20 years and yes, we have progressed forward.

You know you have issues when it's midnight and you look like this. Wearing a hat in the house and those blue blocking glasses attached to my own glasses when you're eye is so irritated that you just need to go to bed. So fashionable! But what can I do? Live with it.

Benaiah made enchiladas at 11pm last night all by himself. He cleaned up most of the mess and managed to fit it in the fridge.

Nice job!

I actually moved them from the middle of the bed to the pillows so I could do laundry. But, yeah, we always have toys in our room and it doesn't bother us. We made the babies, we live with the babies, we like their toys as much they do.

Yes, puppy, I'm here on the couch again. The greatest watchdog of them all.

Doing a few more pages of schoolwork before he can get his prize. We didn't finish a book or anything, but he was getting up in everybody's business and I figured today was a good day to give him the treat I ordered this week.

Working on that left hand. He didn't quite complete this page, but whatever. He's sitting on the mini trampoline with the little lap desk. For now, I'm not too worried about sitting position and such. We are just working on routines and listening to instructions.

Yeah, it's what I wanted!

He insisted he was the one to take pictures, so he did! A lot of them! Here's a sample. He also noticed that each Lego minifigure has two faces because he saw one on the front and one on the back of the box. #Observant

He wanted to overlay all the stickers in one massive pile on the paper. But, it would have filled the whole page if he had spaced them out. I didn't set out for a certain number, but one sticker equals one page of work done.

I then asked the other kids, teasingly, "Do you need a prize for finishing your schoolwork?" Yes, yes, yes! Benaiah, do YOU need a Lego because you graduated? "Of course, Mom, I will buy play with Legos until I die!" Actually, he never plays, but he builds them and puts them on display.

So now what? Daddy, come build it with me! But Buddy, it's only lunch time and I have to work. But, Dad! So I opened up the package so he could play with the minifigures. Then they put the set together this evening.

Daddy was outside tending his other "children."

Anakin Skywalker vs. Obi Wan. Abishai said, "Aw, they are so cute!"

Bacon wrapped asparagus because a vlogger had it on their channel this week. It was ok. It needed salt and more seasonings. And maybe cooked longer. I used half a piece of bacon and stretched it as I wrapped it around the asparagus. I then cooked the rest of the bacon on a separate tray and Jared started eating it! I, the portion nazi, was not happy. We already chicken tonight, we didn't need the bacon for protein! I cooked it because the oven was already on. Sigh.

Per Abishai's request, we had "turkey" (chicken) and the potatoes like Justin had yesterday. Chicken cooked in the Instapot while the potatoes cooked in the air fryer. The bacon wrapped asparagus was in the oven with the other bacon and then fresh veggies on the side (I'm too lazy to make salad). And, unsweetened almond milk because I have too much thanks to a friend.

Oo, I caught a "premiere!" That's when a video becomes live on YouTube and you can comment as it runs for the first time, chat style. You can comment on the video itself once it's fully uploaded.

Bonus content from the Newsboys.

Jeff Frankenstein is the introverted keyboardist/engineer for Newboys so he played DJ and put this together. I learned the other night that he has 3 daughters and they love to have dance parties. The songs were definitely remixes and some were just a chorus and maybe a verse. But good listening as I type out the blog.

Saturday, Day 37, I need to make a new fitness calendar turned Covid-19 count down? up? Anyway, yeah, Day 37.

I'm not feeling the pressures of being home, but kind of tired of the routine and mundane. I work hard. Kids whine for food and electronics. No one wants to do anything creative. They jump on the trampoline. Jared works or naps or play video games, sometimes wrestles. Rinse and repeat. Benaiah wakes up at noon. Spends time on his phone talking to Chase while playing video games yammering away about finances, maybe homework. Then he has dinner with us, then heads to his vehicle to either go see Ava or talk with her on his phone for two hours. Rinse and repeat. Sigh.

I'm still making forward progress on my to do lists. I completely cleaned the toaster oven. With grumbling, Jared pulled the washing machine out and unscrewed the water hookups so I could see if the cold water intake pressure was because of dirty or clogged filters, which it kind of was. The real problem is somewhere in the cold water pipe, which, looks original to the house and therefore, a huge thing to deal with. So, that's going to be put on the big repairs list, way deep down on the list and probably not looked at again for 5 years. I can deal with the water trickling like I have the previous two or more years. No biggie. So we hooked it back up, ran a small cycle, and I wiped down the top part of the washing machine. After lunch I tackled and finished my bookshelf labeling project. It's done. I felt just good enough and in the right frame of mind to enjoy the process. I took it slow. The labels aren't perfectly aligned. But they are there. The history shelves were a little tricky, but I hope I made sense when I explained it to the kids. I went with some of the wording and time periods from our Mystery of History curriculum, some of which do not line up perfectly with the average history textbook. So, I added on some of those well known titles for historical periods so that the kids were familiar with them. We aren't using the MOH titles much, but having both helps me to know what books belong to which volume as well as keep my own history timeline straight in my head the way I learned it.

Now, was labeling bookshelves a good use of my time today?  That's debatable. It didn't add much to everyone else's lives, but it is satisfying to me. And you know what? It comes at a perfect time. The 10th anniversary of my Mom's death is coming up in 4 days. I could imagine her smiling down at me and saying, "You always wanted to be a librarian. Thank you for taking care of the library of books I curated for you and your siblings and passed down to your children. I'm proud of you for teaching your kids and spreading the feast of knowledge." Now, if only the kids would pick up the feast! They read, it's just they don't do anything with that. Jared and I don't demonstrate it much either. But anyways, it was a good day for me until suppertime and arguing with Benaiah again.

It all started with some neutrally emotional comments from him to Keturah. Then I said, "Can you say anything positive? We only get you for a few minutes a day you know." Or something to that effect. Oh, I headed down the wrong path and now I'm upset, again. Teenager problems. They think it's not their problem OR they know all the answers OR they would handle things differently. Yeah, that's a great way for me to gear up to celebrate your graduation, which, ahem, is everyone's accomplishment, not just yours. See, I'm upset that he hasn't lifted much of a finger around the house. And Jared refuses to engage with him. He's given up on making anybody do anything. Well, I haven't. I'm still over here teaching and trying. I wouldn't have to be the one to look at the washing machine if you weren't so paralyzed in fear of doing it wrong. I keep saying things like, "Well, that's why you have sons to help you. Go get one of them." "No, because they will just refuse." I don't care if they refuse. They need to help. Anyway Benaiah went down the path of, "Maybe I don't want to be with this family because all you guys do is fight." Except you aren't around long enough to see the times we don't fight. I'm a nag. I'm the only nag in this house. I'm the task master. The mover and shaker. And then Benaiah comes to me and says Grandpa was asking about open house/graduation announcements. Um, it's none of your business Grandpa. I haven't settled on a date for an open house. I don't have senior pictures done. WE ARE IN A PANDEMIC. We can't operate as we had planned. I got sick on Thursday and didn't follow up with the governor's orders or telling Lisa Strunk my thoughts. No, I'm not mailing out invites. I have no one's address. There's nothing to put on a graduation thing because there are no pictures and we didn't have a graduation date. I'm not ready for an open house, ok? So, fine, I'm planning it for early August. There, I said it. I'm not ready and I'm stressed about it. August it is. Now go away. You had your chance with your boys, don't meddle with my kids.

Fine. I said it. Too many unknowns. So I worked on the knowns today. Cleaning things. Finding out what I could do with the washing machine after thinking about it for more than 6 months. Organizing books, because that's all I seem to be good at doing. Thanks for making me feel like a failure, again. I'll go cry the night away.

Woah. No pictures of kids today! That's a first! I guess I was just too busy being a loner.

The hot and cold hoses are labeled wrong, but obviously they were connected to the right intake valves on the washer. Here's the hot water one after I cleaned it. It wasn't too bad. And my research was right, there is a filter thing. I can't take it out though.

End of hose that connects to washer after I cleaned it.

I turned the water back on, and maybe higher than it originally was, because whoosh! Crud from the pipes just like we have found in the sink water sometimes.

Cold water intake was much dirtier.

Ewww, well water. And, I can't remember if this water goes through our water softener and filter or not. I think so.

Gotta love old plumbing. That black lever is the ONLY on and off switch.

The cold hose is hot water and the hot hose is col water. Sigh. Some never plumbing mixed with old.

No other valves I can mess with to clean out or anything.

Ah, that's better. But it didn't completely solve the cold water pressure problem. Sigh. Hopefully the washing machine won't stop in the middle of filling for the rinse cycle at least. But if it does, we'll just keep doing what we are doing. At least now I know I've done what I can without calling for a plumber. It only took 6 months to get to it.

I spent the rest of my day printing labels for bookshelves. A quick rundown is below.

 Quick recap on labels:
Red=history=which is pretty bloody
Green=science=growing things
Yellow=language arts and art in general, kids' literature=reading and art brightens up your life,
White=Bible related=Jesus washes us white as snow from our sins
Orange=Kids' pleasure books=it was very bright and my least favorite of the group and since the books are in other rooms, I don't have to look at it daily
Blue=adult=last color chosen, and books that maybe calm and bring peace, home making, misc., fiction, classics

The history labels are two fold. I used verbage from our Mystery of History curriculum so I could easily match up the shelves to it. But then I went back and added more common titles to different eras that the kids would find in their future studies. I did add dates, but they line up mostly with the MOH curriculum rather than saying, "1600's/1700's." It was pretty easy, but a little time consuming. Hardly any mistakes. Great printing tape with no feed issues or smudging. I'm pretty happy with it.

Can you guess which bookshelf these were for? Yes, the piano books next to the piano. It was hard to come up with some names, but I think we will all understand. I can't believe it's finally done! Years and year of putting the shelves together and making sure no books were left in boxes. 15 years ago, my parents boxes up a lot of these books so they could bring them from New Hampshire to Indiana. Then, I was able to unbox most, if not all of them in Canada 8 years ago. Some sat in boxes in my basement for those 7 years because we didn't need them yet and didn't have the bookshelves yet. I set them up in categories in Canada 8 years ago and they've pretty much been in the same categories ever since. So when I put some out in the condo and then all of them here, they came out of the boxes pretty much in their groups. Now if we move again, I'll know exactly what goes where. Whoot! Whoot! Sometimes projects like these are easier to tackle than human relationships. These projects bring me some sense of accomplishment. It's just so satisfying!

Sunday, Day 38, Blah to Good

Emotionally drained. Went to bed sad, woke up sad. But the day got progressively better. The sermon was on anxiety, the normal Christian talk on anxiety, so I wrote my normal antithesis to such talk. It's a two part sermon, so we'll see what next week brings. Jared figured out lunch. Then I puttered for 2 hrs so I could stay off the internet. I managed to do quite a bit of things that I hadn't thought of. Just a tweak here and a tweak there. I'm pretty pleased with the results. We did agree to push off the open house to a time and a place of my choosing, hopefully. That lets me off the hook for a little bit longer on photos and gathering materials. Now, I just need to word it right tomorrow. I took today off from responding to people. Keturah begged for sweets and tablet time all day. I said no, it's too nice outside. We made her take the dog around the block. Abishai and I delivered some of Leah's dishes and Grandpa joined us as he wanted to go for a walk. I joined a Beachbody group because some of the workouts my "coach" were doing and modifying as she went through her pregnancy at home were intriguing. Plus with two little ones now, I wanted to help her out. I'm hoping that having a coach and something else making up a plan will help me keep track, even if I can't do a full workout or something. They tell you which ones to do and when. So, we'll see. I used to like doing workouts and still have a couple of programs. Now I have to find the time and space to do them. Typically right before dinner is when I feel the best. I have to get enough calories in me and not as much caffeine to make it through it without feeling faint. I've been walking around 4 pm so I think that's a good time frame, right after school. I'll start to do it earlier in the afternoon after school is done.

Benaiah got up at 1pm, got food, and sat at his computer until after 5. Then he showered and went to Ava's. Oh, I did tell him that he needed to move his drum kit today, or I will in the morning. So, he moved it right then and there. It's not in place in the garage because of the e2 books and some things that need to go into the shed or back into their rightful place. I'll do that tomorrow. When he was on his computer, he made plenty of his own noises and example setting. So, there's that.

I finally started a puzzle, and it's HUGE. I'm not sure how long it's going to take but we'll see. I feel better that I started one like everyone else did who is bored at home. My desk is clearer, there are less toys in the sunroom and my fireside room looks like a sitting room again and not a gym or music studio. Onward to the next thing.

Ignore the Harry Potter notfication for a minute, it's for a game I don't actually do anymore. But see the weekly report on screen time usage?! It went DOWN. Now remember, I only use my phone during the day not my laptop, SO, it is my computer. If you sit at an office computer for 8 hrs a day, it's the same for me. And often, I have a game running while I'm doing something else and occasionally tap it to do the next thing. So, yeah, that's that.

The numbers were pretty sobering on this report. Still not as bad as another article I saw about someone living through all the other major events of the 20th century. But still, those numbers represent lives lost. Jared and I spent a few minutes discussing them and what our new normal might look like. Will we wear the new masks we got today when we go out and for how long? What could church look like in the future? Will we be able to meet in small groups perhaps? We didn't discuss what we ourselves would be involved in with the kids, like choir or field trips. I guess it would depend on what places are reopened. But we do have to leave the house at some point. It's not going away in the next 1-2 yrs. So what will be our boundaries? We will wait until the governor opens things up again and then probably extend our own protocols at least a month more than that. More randomized testing is on it's way though, so we'll see.

That's cool! I hope we catch them! Jared says this kind of plane is still used often, but it's awesome anyway! Some are using this to theorize "military training operations" to scout us out to see if we are obeying the stay at home mandates. No, it's just a nice gesture people.

The Blue Angels are also coming! We've seen them at the Indy Airshow back in the day, too!

We caught someone singing and reading on the porch. She's breezing through that American history series. And when I asked her if she liked it, she smirked. I knew she would enjoy it! I had Benaiah read it, but Justin was young and now too old for it. It takes you through all of American history up through probably the 1980's or 1990's or so. It was from my parents. She was singing the first song from the original Disney Newsies movie she watched yesterday.

We passed our neighbors TWICE on our walk and they said they left us something! It's a rock painted to look like a car! We'll have to leave one of ours for them to find tomorrow! Sweet!

Speedy Gonzales "beat" me to the front door. He had to park his bike first and told me to wait. He's super fast!

Oh my goodness. I should have looked at the box first to find out the size of this thing. It's huge! It doesn't fit on this board! I wonder if Jared has a wider board in the garage. I would like it to be on a board so that I can move it around. This is the cover to the costumes box that we never shut anymore. It came to us with the lid unscrewed. Handmade, homemade box.

It's kind of easy in a way because of all the different colors and the words describing the national parks. There's nothing really to sort out, but you can easily find out which words go where and what state. It's just massive for a 1,000 piece puzzle. It was brand new in the box as well. We'll see!

Justin was at my computer for the Crave After Party because Keturah picks at the tape on my desk. He was getting annoyed at the lack of leg room, so he improvised. He could be a runner or basketball player if he wanted to, his legs are so long! I'll never forget when he was born and the one of the first things I noticed was just how long his toes and fingers were compared to Benaiah as a baby. He's kept those long toes and fingers and thinness his whole life. The live stream kept glitching and it wasn't our fault. Justin kept talking into his headset or something not remembering that it's a live chat via typing. Goofball. I did have to set new boundaries though because Keturah kept "talking" to Justin through the live chat. No one wants to see your sibling spats. If you do it again, then you can watch the replay and not have the chance to interact. Or we'll alternate who can be on the live chat. Sigh.

Do you notice anything missing?! Yes! No boxes, no baskets! Walking space! Those pictures are my Dad's string art that I don't have a place for yet. I don't know if I'll rebox them and put them in the garage of hang them up.

No more flip table and no more drum kit. Both are now in the garage. Pillows are where they belong, and blankets are neatly folded. No more books on the couches either.

There's the box that was under the bench behind the couch. It's got extra household things like electrical cords so I don't want it to go too far. Actually, It might be best in the bathroom closet. I could rearrange the bottom of that closet to fit it. I might do that tomorrow. And then the big basket has an extra pillow and blankets. I looked up on the other side and was like, "Oh, I have room on top of the china cabinet for the other baskets!" Duh! I don't want those to go too far either because if I wanted to decorate with them or use them on a table for something, they would be handy. Plus, I don't want them getting ruined. My mom used them for different projects. This is my grandmother's rocking chair, in it's sad state, with a blanket we got I think when my mom passed away 10 years ago. It's so fitting that it's back in it's rightful place. It hasn't been there for at least two years. I don't know how solid the construction is anymore, but my dad tried to sand off the "ugly" green 70's paint and now it looks worse. I would have preferred the green paint because that's how I remember it. The stockings stay of course with all the rest of the remembrance corner.

Coffee table gone, extra food stored properly in the pantry, the bookcase is free from clutter again! Ok, there's my basket of "I don't know what to do with it" things, but it's only hiding math manipulatives. The science books are free for Abishai and Keturah to pull out and read.

Let's see. Since the kids keep taking the balls and ball pit outside, it doesn't need a permanent home in this rom. So, I moved the bookcase over so I could tape the tablecloth from Abishai's birthday to the fall to look like wall paper. It's a city scape at the bottom, so I figured it would be great for parking those large vehicles that weren't being stored well in the other bookcase. I moved some bins to the big kid bookcase to free up some floor space. Again, the picture books are now available again for Abishai to get at. I took one bin of hot wheels track to the garage to go to the shed. I've been meaning to do that for awhile. And then I moved the other big tub of medium sized cars to the lineup that separates the play area from my office "closet." There are a couple of boxes and things I could bring in here from the living room because the living room feels a bit clogged, but all in all, it's much better.

The End