Year 5, April 6th-9th, 2020: Anger, Depression, and Resolve

Covid-19 Days 18-21

Monday, Day 18

I totally lost it today. It started with Jared insisting that I needed to let Socks out so I would get out of bed. Jerk. He knows I get out of bed just fine. Why couldn't he be nice for once? Then, I was about to let that go and move on, when, the other shoe dropped. Benaiah's school is asking for assignments to be marked completed or not but not graded. And no final tests. The other local school districts are doing the same thing. What a cop out . So naturally I got on Facebook and ranted. I had heard about the other school districts a couple of days ago, and I was hoping Benaiah's school wouldn't follow suit, but they did. It does a  huge disservice to the older students. I understand that it's hard to keep track and check that kids have the right answers and/or showing mastery over a skill. But high school students shouldn't get a free pass, especially Benaiah's classmates. It sends the signal that completion of a task is enough. It does not drive a student to do well. My generation and their generation are all about the "participation" awards. No, awards and rewards should only be given to the winners, to those that put in the work.  No free passes. Kids shouldn't move on or be given a diploma without truly earning it by mastering learning. "But there's stress at home." Yes, there's stress, but why deliberately make it easier like this? It makes us over achievers feel like we shouldn't be working so hard. It harkens back to the Jamestown colony when no one was forced to work and so they didn't. Then the people doing the work gave up and they all suffered. But our public school kids don't remember that, do they? Remember it for a test or grade, not for life.

And some day, these kids who get free passes, will think they are entitled to free passes their whole life. Do I want a doctor to perform surgery on me that has grade of a C? No. What about an architect that only does 50% of the calculations correctly? The building would fall down. This is socialism. There's not incentive to work hard and get ahead. Same with the stimulus money or restaurants still serving take out. Our wealthy lazy country doesn't understand the true meaning of working hard and poverty. At least not in our district, in our circle of friends, in our township.

But wait, there's more. I had to put myself far away from everybody for most of the day because I was blowing up again. You see, I have put 110% in raising my kids, teaching my kids, sacrificing for my kids, and now it's come to this. Not only is all the senior stuff delayed, but the GPA isn't fully earned well. This is NOT the education I wanted for my child. Their hearts are in the right place, but that school is not for those with high expectations of academic excellence. And it infuriates me. From our mistakes and circumstances that put Benaiah in that school, to the continuing issues that the school itself has, now to a global crisis ruining the end of my firstborn's childhood education. He says he's fine. But I'm not. This isn't what I had hoped and dreamed for at all. This isn't what I wasn't pouring myself into for 9 years before he entered that school. From my position sitting on a cushion on our Beech Grove basement floor in a little school corner with a wipe board teaching him how to blend sounds to read words to this? I could have never imagined it to end this way. It's devastating to me. It brings up every single negative thing about the last 4 years that has bothered me. It has tripled my efforts to not allow it to happen again with the others.  They will be the ones benefiting from our mistakes.

So I wrote a post imploring that parents don't let their kids off the hook. Don't just check that the work is done, correct it if the teacher isn't going to. Make sure the kids learn the material. There is nothing more important than education. Ok, fine, relationships yes. But in a stable home and environment, we should never except that "minimalist" attitude and just do the bare minimum in anything, especially education, even in trying times. If we pass our students, our kids, and they aren't getting the educational foundation they need to be a well rounded intellectual citizen, we will have stupid people elected to govern us. You know why we have Trump as our president and Democrats and Republicans don't get along? Because of the pitfalls of mass education. Why is our generation, the generation before us and the one after us not listening to the mandate to stay home? Because they are dumb. Because the majority grew up in socialistic governmental public school system meant to make them think like the herd. I received a very different education, one grounded in the principles our founding fathers had about freedom and free thinking and doing what's right for the group without a bunch of laws because they were self governed by the principles laid out in the Bible. In the Principle Approach I'm teaching Keturah, the second Principle is about Self Governance. And if you have Self Governance, then you don't need a ruler. You will act in a way that is helpful to all. But our culture and our school system does not teach that. They teach that school is something just to get through. They teach that your selfishness and "I'll do me and you do you." is to be admired. "Whatever makes ME feel good, is what I will do." And we are seeing that played out in our society today when I literally see comments on Facebook that read, "I will go out if I D--- want to!" Wow. Really?! You're that selfish, eh? Yup, you are.

And then, and THEN, I get called out by fellow Christians that I'm too harsh and I'm not sharing the love of Jesus to my neighbors in their time of need. I'm sorry. I can't do that today. My life's "work" is incomplete and falling apart in front of my eyes. Benaiah, through no fault of his own, is one of my life's works  and I feel like I've failed. I've failed to protect him when he was in middle school. I failed on keeping tabs on him and getting him to take standardized tests. I've failed in realizing he wasn't getting a good enough education the last two years and needed to be supplemented. I've failed that he thinks I couldn't teach him and he couldn't do online classes. And know we've failed in giving him a proper send off/coming of age everything. He was right when he said that I am living through him. And yes, I'm reliving my own graduation but also I have dreamed of these years since he was born. I knew what I wanted from them and between family circumstances and worldly issues, those dreams have not been fulfilled. So I'm mad. I'm weepy. And I'm tired of people not seeing education the way I do. Education is a privilege, not a right. Other third world countries have kids begging to go to school, begging to master everything they are taught. Our students bemoan the whole process. And my kids have gotten caught up in that idea as well, that life should be all fun and games, including youth group. I sure hope that what they are talking about in their small groups and the "after party" show that I've been listening in on aren't the only things discussed. Enough with the chit chat, where is the spiritual meat for these kids?  "We love you, we miss you." isn't enough. How about some real Sunday School lessons instead of stupid ice breaker games? Are society is so weak because of it's wealth. Our hardships do not even begin to compare to the world at large. While we are talking about what Dorito flavor is best, some only have porridge to eat. Wake up, America!

We aren't the Pilgrims who lost half of their people to disease in the first winter. We aren't George Washington's army that froze to death. We aren't even in slavery and being whipped! But our country doesn't know these things because they weren't taught that these concepts, history, science, math, language arts, were going to serve them outside of a grade in school. They weren't taught to master the subjects and forever seal them in their brains. And then I'm told that education in a time of crisis doesn't matter. What are you doing all day? You've had a couple of weeks now to figure out your work situations. Sit the child next to you on his device while you are on yours and make sure the material is learned properly. And more importantly, emphasize to the older kids that they are responsible for learning material for life, not for a test or even a grade. Commit these things to memory. Strive towards excellence as the Bible mandates. You can't be a dumb sheep leading other dumb sheep.

And that's my whole day today. That's how I feel. I want to shout and cry and weep and scream and hurt something. I want to beat my chest and scream from the rooftops, "You dumb fools!" No, that's not the "be kind" Christian thing to do. I don't want to "show the love of Christ" today. I want to beat them all over the head. I'm going to sit by them and pet their hands and say, "It's ok, God's got this." No! God gave you a brain and ability to get through this, so do it. YOU have to take the steps. The steps don't come to you. God's not going to just hand you everything. You have be faithful and do the right things, too. Stress should make you think of new and better ways of doing things. Retool and do something else for a job, if you even need to have one, especially if you are in a stupid large house with stupid expensive vehicles paying the gymnastics place their monthly fees although you aren't getting their services right now that you need to pay so that they can keep the lights on. Go have your pity party and then get your butt back up and do something about it. Learn how to stretch a piece of meat or eat a vegan meal. Use less toilet paper and take less showers. Listen to podcasts about homesteading. Don't go out and you won't need the hand sanitizer and wipes as much.

But no, stupid is as stupid does.

Rant over.

I managed to teach my own kids without screaming and finished the flower beds. I threw supper together, but ate alone. Then I had my own pity party in my bedroom. I'm not going back in the kitchen to clean up. If they care to have clean pots and pans and dishes, then they can clean them. I'm physically hurting because of the mental pain I'm in plus the flower beds. I made sure to properly squat this time when I lifted the shovel and that helped my lower back. It's my left shoulder that is in major pain that I can't figure out. Other things to note. Justin's phone charger is broken, Benaiah's work croc broke, and the back door inside handle complete sheered off. No one but Jared ate vegetables today. Orders from Amazon are running behind or saying "you will receive it two days after it ships" but won't give shipping dates. I'm almost out of mints and coffee. We will have to go to the store at some point and Jared is going to not be happy about it. And yet, we are allowing Benaiah to still go in and out places like at church and Papa Murphy's, so whatever. Benaiah has already spent the part of the stimulus check we get because he's our dependent in his own head on his own things before it even hits the bank. The bat box got put up and trees watered, but I'm the only one who can keep track of the dog's pee and food schedule. An ant just crawled across my desk and fell into my lap. What else? A friend borrowed our vhs/dvd player so they could watch home movies on VHS proving my point once again that "hoarding" can be profitable. Abishai wanted to put away the Geotrax and Little People so he could have his Batman and Playmobile stuff back. I just want to eat all the chocolate. It was 70 degrees today and kids still begged for screen time right after breakfast. There's still recyclying in the red van that Benaiah refuses to take.  He worked a day shift for someone, so he was home for supper. And I just want my shoulder not to hurt and Justin to go to bed. And I bought a $30 milk frother. Sigh.  The End.

yup

Middle school I believe in our area. Seems fair, but they are only required to complete homework, not necessarily get a grade by the correctness of it.

New place to have a snack!

Keturh helped Abishai with some school work so they could have screen time later.

Poor Abishai just wanted a playmate and no one wanted to play. So I went outside for a few minutes with him. We talked about birds and what they sound like and look up a YouTube video on it. He also showed me a new trick.

Trying to eat dandelions. He didn't like it.

Keturah said it wasn't as good as she's had in the past. She ate several petals.

Gorgeous tree!

Abishai thought you need to pick all the dandelions but he promised not to pick the ones near the purple flowers that he likes.

Helmet, no shoes. "I'm getting rid of all these dandelions for you, Mom." I think I know how y weeding buddy will be.

I'll help get the rest of the mulch, Mom! He did a great job, too. Plus Keturah swept. We got it all cleaned up without moving the van.

Abishai picked up the flower petals and saved them in a bucket for later.

Jared said he put grass seed around the front plants, whoops! I don't want grass there anyway. I wanted to be able to see the green plants individually. The two front plants will eventually over up the bald patches left because of the old sidewalk underneath it.

I trimmed the bushes. I'm sure I'll work on it more over the months/years, like I did with Beech Grove. It's a new bush to me, so I'm not sure exactly how to prone, but we'll see.

The tree that Jared is obsessed about watering. He also burned all the brush on this side of the tree and the ground looked ugly. So I threw the last bit of mulch on the area to make it look cleaner. I didn't really want to extend the flower bed, but oh well. I didn't put a liner down here or with those other bushes, but I hope the mulch keeps the weeds at bay. We'll see.

It is finished. An the driveway is permanently stained.

I love it!

My hanging out buddy! Keturah was out here earlier reading her book, too.

Benaiah came home and helped Jared with the bat pole and then jumped on the trampoline. It was actually time to eat. And he jumped in his stinky CFA clothes.

After two years of abuse and hanging by a screw, it finally fell all the way off. We can still open the door and we lock it a different way anyway.

Bat box. Our neighbors will think we are crazy. We want bats to eat the mosquitoes. I hope it works! It's so tall!  And looks weird, but we'll see. It might make kite flying a little trickier, too. They buried the pole with dirt and will do cement another day.

Uh oh, lot of full closures on major arteries like last year. I guess this is the best time to do it. I'm glad I'm not going to Greenfield for gym or park day anymore. And I'm glad it wasn't during our convention either.  Hopefully having empty roads in general will help this as well. I bet the rich people up in Noblesville will have a fun time getting to their offices downtown, if they even have to go there right now. Fun times!

Tuesday, Day 20 of Lockdown

Aw, Abishai totally understands what is going on! He said, "When the lockdown is over, can we...." "We are in lockdown so we don't get sick like Mr. Stuart." Man, this kid is good at picking up on concepts! And then Justin shared a TikTok of a parody of "Everything is Awesome" called "Everything is Canceled" with him and that's all Abishai wants to sing. Here's the TikTock Justin shared: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6pX-mZrlI8 and then here is a better version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8568QEhQ6jk  So neat!

 Meanwhile, I had my post anger/meltdown depression day today. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I wanted to continue crying from last evening's crying episode. I don't know what to say in response to comments. The commenting didn't go too long and I've posted other things today and it's not as visible on my feed. I'm angry that I'm told I'm not a nice enough Christian when I'm sharing what I believe is truth that will help others, not hurt them. I'm upset that people call me judgmental. And sometimes, when I write, I just don't want to use my nice cushy "Jesus loves me" voice. This wasn't about "sharing the love of Christ" as a feeling type of Facebook post. This was a challenge to others. This was a cry out for the absurdness of it all. This was a frustration in that my efforts in raising our kids have ended like this for this child. I act like a pharisee sometimes. Sometimes I'm a hypocrite. But I'm not judgmental. I say things because I care. And I care a lot. I fear a lot of things. I get self righteous. I am stern. But I do not swear, call people names, or name specific people. I am not mean. I am not Jesus, I am not God, but I do have truth to speak that I have tried very hard to work through and speak well about. And that's all I can think of to say. I didn't respond to anyone on Facebook, although they can see that I saw their messages. No, I don't want to talk about it.

So, I was lethargic and just tried to walk through my day. Actually, my shoulder was in severe pain today. It got less noticeable as the day went on and the muscles moved a bit more, but I suspect it will be bad again in morning. It's the kind of pain that no matter how many pain killers you take or oils and rubs you try, it's still there and the relief last mere minutes. I even iced it while I was drinking my tea this morning. I purposefully restricted myself from doing any major lifting like the laundry basket. The men had left a mess of pots last night and I refused to do them based on what happened about the dog in the morning. But Jared tackled a few of the dishes this morning and I did thank him for it. Otherwise, he avoided me all day because of my anger yesterday. I did end up washing the rest of the pots after supper since I felt a little bit better. I also had a chance to take a long walk while supper was cooking in the oven (pre made shepherd's pie; I'm trying to clear out all the older food so we can go shopping next week, hopefully). I didn't listen to any podcasts or music. I really didn't think much about anything. I had spent all my mental energy yesterday. I didn't know what to read or watch today either. So, I walked through my normal routine with the kids. I managed to work on the Core 52 material before I was brain dead for the day. I did it right after I made my tea, so that helped.

It was a gorgeous 78 degree day and the kids were in and out all day. Justin ended up with a sun headache and stayed in for the afternoon. Keturah and Abishai played in the hose. Abishai ate his lunch and dinner out on the glass table on the deck. I'm so glad we put it on the deck this year! It's a great use of that space and the chairs feel more stable, etc. The umbrella does no good most of the day, so that's a bummer. Benaiah said he was going to get up earlier to do something but he ended up doing it last night and didn't tell me. So he rolled out of bed at 12:30 and left for work at 2:30. Sigh. Just 4 more shifts until his 6 week break.

Oh, one thing we are trying is the dry powdered milk! We haven't had it since Canada and the version here is actually quite good and mixes up extremely well. I think I'm going to buy some for a friend who is currently bottle feeding a baby goat and her 3 yr old grandson loves chocolate milk. Plus a regular gallon of milk too. She is very immune compromised and she doesn't trust her teenager and young adults' germs. So far now we are leaving the dry milk bag on the counter until we get to the store and buy regular milk again. Hopefully that will be next Wednesday. Some stores are now limiting how many people can go into a store at once and possibly closing down non essential sections if they have more than groceries. People are still bringing their whole families with them and hanging out too close together etc. I'm hoping our Aldi's is quiet like it was two weeks ago. It should be. Things have calmed down. But there's at least a week backlog on delivery or clicklist (they bring it to your car in a special parking spot). Plus they might have to substitute and all that. Nah, I'll do it myself.  It's too much work to make a special list for someone else who doesn't really know your needs and what you can substitute, etc.

It's supposed to rain tonight and then cool down by 30 degrees, aka not even hit 50 degrees for a high on Thursday through the weekend. So we'll see if we can get out tomorrow. Out of the blue, my friend Alisha brought me a bucket of purple iris plants that she had saved from our house in Beech Grove. We moved from there, our first home, 8 years ago and I do remember her taking some bulbs to put in her garden. They are the ones that helped us move in the first place. So, yeah! I'll have my purple irises again! They were the first plants that I tended to as an adult in my first flower "garden" of sorts, which was just a patch about 1 ft by 2 ft next to our stairs and front porch. These bulbs multiple like crazy and like to work their way up to the surface so I was constantly recovering them. Jared had bought me some pink and white irises late in the summer a couple of years ago and after they were planted, they decided to bloom that fall. They had their seasons confused! They are now coming up beautifully and on time this year! I can't wait to add these purple ones to the mix! Hopefully I can sneak that in between rain storms tomorrow.

My purple irises have come home!

My pink and white irises are multiplying and doing well!

My aloe plant needs help! My friend says it needs to be split and repotted. Use the leaves as I can manage.

And that's it. Besides a screaming match about screen time and Justin's phone being broken so now he's using the tablet to talk to people on discord so the tablet is now unavailable to the others, it's 9pm and I'm done typing. That's a win! Jared actually walked over to Jim's house for Bible study, so I don't know how that worked. Did they sit 6 ft apart I assume around a fire pit? And I thought we were not even doing that much. I'm confused. I did see Jim's son Derrick playing with the neighbor kids today, too. Again, I'm confused as to where we stand on that. We women are still planning on Zoom tomorrow night for our Bible study. So, we'll see. I just hope my brain holds together to say a few good words, and totally not bringing up my Facebook post. Sigh.

Here's the rest of the pics:

Yes, that's a baby bird who got stuck trying to get his egg off his head. A person took this video, added music to it, and then helped the poor thing. Good for a laugh!

Oh yes, Lucky Charms is one of my favorites!

Another day, another wrestling match.

Sending funny videos to Ava.

Abishai was in his bathing suit and Keturah was not. However, she was the one spraying water at him, and me, on the porch.  He was loving it. I was not.

At first, Keturah didn't want to change into her bathing suit or go outside, but I think she was just bored enough and I was taking too long with my coffee that she went ahead and helped out. Ha! Mom hack! Just wait long enough and they will get involved!

Best view ever! And I saw a butterfly! No hummingbirds yet.

Yo ho, Yo ho, a pirate's life for me!

First "swim" of the season!

Singing "Everything is Cancelled" at the top of his lungs as we slowly went around the neighborhood. And that helmet is not on tight enough. And yes, he's in pjs after being in his bathing suit.

Wow! They went all out on their painted rocks! Great job!

I love the Minion one and Abishai noticed the "Jesus died on the cross" one as well!

The Smith's ducks.

Today's weather in Indy.

Today's weather in Manchester, NH. My poor sister is having trouble handling her only son who has motor deficiencies as well as a bit of intellectual delays. It's been rough to be with him these past few weeks. So I was urging her to go outside but they've already done that alot. It's hard, I'm sure.

Check that off the list. I went down the hill along the creek this time to give myself an extra half loop, plus the one I did with Abishai and the one I did by myself. Loads of people were out again and it's good to see who our neighbors are. I love that about half of us have places to sit in the FRONT porches instead of hiding in the back!

Look, Mom, I can slide right through here instead of going around. Um, no, try the other side where a pole is missing. The dog uses that hole often. Just don't step on the downspout.

Wednesday, Day 20

Well, today just went out with a BANG! As in crash, boom, bang of a major thunderstorm. It was so windy and so sudden I was scared to death it was going to be a tornado because we had just talked about the warning that popped up during our Bible study time. Super quick lightning, sirens blaring, and all 6 of us were running to the windows. And the poor little kids of my friends were hyper ventilating they said. Yeah, it was bad. It's now calming down to the normal amount of thunder and lightning. I hope our friends that live full time in an RV are ok. Crazy!

The day started off normal, a bit warm today and Jared didn't want to open the windows to cool it off because the temps are supposed to drop off significantly tonight. So we are all sweating out this evening. Sigh. He's still not talking to me because he assumed a hurt people's feelings on Monday and I want totally repent of what I wrote on Facebook or here. So, if you've gotten this far in the blog, I guess you don't hate me. And I'll leave it at that.

Normal day of school. I wore a sling this morning as a physical and visual cue not to use my arm to use things. I started taking my arm out of it after lunch and then took it off fully after school. I'll probably do it again tomorrow. I really think there are some torn muscles in my left shoulder/neck, but there's nothing a doctor can do but tell me to rest it. Maybe get an MRI to see where the tears are? I don't know. But it is really painful and that makes me moody. I didn't push myself to go for a walk today, but did watch/listen to seminar while laying down on a chair on my front porch, even closing my eyes a bit. The breeze was heavenly in the shade. I saw some wasps, so I think I'll spray the eaves or something when it's dry outside again.

I don't know what to say. My shoulder hurts. Jared won't talk to me. I don't want to think about what I wrote on Monday and if I was right or wrong or good or bad girl. I didn't have much to say during Bible study either. Sometimes I just disagree with people and then I have no more mental energy for people or heavy thoughts. And now with this storm, I just want to follow that. So, I guess there's that. I'm grateful Benaiah had a day shift today and wasn't out in the storm.

In fact, 4 of us were all on separate devices in 4 different Zoom chats for our small group/Bible study times all over the house at the same time and the wifi didn't even lag one bit! I'm grateful for always making sure we have the best internet speed out there.

But right now, I just want to stop typing and watch a show because my shoulder hurts. Don't make me move so much.  Don't make me think so much. Oh, I did find out where my Math U See books are and we agreed that my friend could pay me for them and I'll just get new ones. But ordering a bunch of new stuff is causing me to pause. The bill is over $400 for 3 kids! Ok, that's technically 5 levels, but I have to buy new blocks, too, and teacher's editions. Usually I get those at book sales but I don't want to risk waiting all summer for them. I'm going to see how much my discount is and will probably scale back a bit for now. Math U See is one of our biggest, most faithful vendors at IAHE convention so I want to make sure I buy a good chunk from this this month and let them know I was coming from the IAHE convention. Eek! I haven't had 3 homeschoolers to teach in 4 years! And I have the money now, so I might as well buy them now. Plus a science curriculum for Keturah. Well, that one is not quite published yet, so it will be a summer purchase. And I'm not sure on the handwriting stuff. But, I figured a bit of it out today, plus made sure I was up to date on posting things for IAHE. Plus planting my irises, so I didn't do too bad. after all.

Oh, and Jared made a new door handle for the back door! It ain't pretty, but it works!

One of Benaiah's longest time best friend. He's a cool kid.

Trying to be a good girl and not do much. Not much a doc would do anyway.

They have this thing going on Instagram of showing off your first picture with your significant other (I think), so here's hours. Whatever extra pounds he had, I know have. And I will never ever have bangs again. I've got great big cowlick in the front and they would never stay where I put them. I was starting to grow them out at this point. I will never go back.

I told him to send me a picture. This is what he sent me. Boy, I need to see your eyes! Hm,....a bit like my boys, eh? Jared was 19 so Aaron was 16...not far off in age than Benaiah and Justin.

My parents never got around to outdoor projects either. I can't remember when we actually used that deck. We didn't even go in and out the back door. Yup.

And yes, yes, we know, Benaiah looks like Jared. We get it. We were just babies. 20 years ago almost to the day!

Abishai asked if it was a "stay at home" day, aka Saturday, and we said, "No, buddy, it's a working day (aka Mon-Fri)." He sighed heavily. He didn't even bother Jared that much today. But went to work on his own. He was trying to build up an army so he could fight Justin's guys later.

Don't take my picture, Mom, I'm working!

Justin's guys are ready for battle.

Abishai's ships he built mostly by himself ready for battle.

Plotting his attack.

"And you see, Mom,...."

"Justin, Justin, Justin! Play with me!"

I saw something flash out of the corner of my eye. Wait a minute, he usually doesn't play over there.

What is he doing? Oh, there's a bird!

He was chasing a bird and making noises. I was afraid he was going to get his clothes stuck on the fence and panic. Yikes!

Having fun? How's quarantine going for you?

Jared's solution to our back door handle sheering off. One screw had already sheered off, so it was only a matter of time. It lasted over a year with just one screw.

Ugly but functional. Beats opening and closing it with the door frame.

Backed up the Troll cookies that I thought had faces on them. Nope. The package lied.

One more day of gorgeous weather and then it grows cold again. And this is why I haven't made the clothing switch yet.

Time to battle! But boys, you have to agree on the rules!

Abishai was hot from playing outside so he ran around with an ice pack on his head. He doesn't have any shorts to wear because I pack them up in the winter because there's not enough room in his drawers. But he could have worn a short sleeve t-shirt!

Talking to friends before my Bible study started.

Chick Fil A provided some bandanas for their employees during this virus crisis. I know it isn't much, but at least it's something! I'm glad this is his last week.

We talked about this during Bible study. We didn't know it was going to be THIS bad.

Hail!

Another piece of hail!

Thurday, Covid-19 Day 21

Three weeks of Jared being home from work, that went by fast! After the big storm last night, it got super cold today, so although it's clear outside, it's windy and no one wants to go out. That leaves kids to wander aimlessly. I felt up to doing a project on my own so I choose cleaning my desk and working on Justin's transcript. I ordered math books and decided what color labels I will use for different categories of our home library. I'm not going to label Jared's bookshelves as work, though. I have six main colors - School, with subsets Red for History (lots of bloodshed in history), Green for Science (because it's mostly about growing things/earth), Yellow for Languare Arts, Art, and Kids' Fiction I use for language classes (unrelated to history) (because knowing how to read and write brings on a brighter future), and then White for Bible/Christian Inspiration (Jesus' blood make us white as snow), neon orange for Kids (because it's my least favorite color, and will be hidden in their bedrooms, plus they can find it easily), and Blue for everything else including Adult Fiction, Adult Nonfiction, parenting, homeschool helps, classics, poetry, gardening, etc. (blue was the last color and represents hopefully books that help us stay calm, cool, and collected). Now I just need to pick a font and size and maybe a border on my label maker. I'm so glad I asked for that a few years ago for Christmas. I don't label a lot of things unless it's a permanent label or I need some tiny printing and it's hard for me to write small legibly.

Benaiah was awakened by Abishai about 10:30, and he's off today, so he headed out to get his grocery shopping done now that he has a paycheck. He's buying his own stuff for hopefully the next 6 weeks of his self quarantine. He's not sick, but it's to prevent him from being sickness home from CFA. He wrote himself a list and calculated how many energy drinks he needs for 6 weeks, lol, and ramen noodles, etc. So, he'll pick up a couple of things for me, like marshmallows and crescent rolls for resurrection rolls and a gallon of milk.  He can't pick up ibuprofen or my prescription though, so I'll have to go out by Saturday to get those. Yup. The other kids did their schoolwork as normal, not much complaining there. I think we have gotten past the complaining part and are in the grove. It's hard to imagine that our 180 days are up the first week of May. I still might make them go longer. We'll see. Depends on the weather and any changes in Covid-19 bans. If we are still stuck at home, I might get some more history done. I've never liked carrying over the last 3-4 weeks of our history to the next year so I would love to catch up a bit here. But then again, I might elongate next year's book which is 1707-current, because there's so much we didn't cover the first time and I need to make sure Justin understands as his American history course.

6 hrs later......Ok, well, I made it through cleaning my desk, burning meat inside the instant pot causing an error so it never got up to full pressure (but the chili still got hot enough to eat), finding a place for Benaiah's "quarantine" stash of mostly sugar and grain carbs, chores, clean up and wasting time on Facebook. So here we are. Glad I wrote earlier. My shoulder was a bit better today after sleeping on the couch and kind of propping it up against the back of it. I think I'll do that again tonight and see how it feels in the morning. I wasn't careful with it during supper prep and now it hurts more again. I worked quickly, and so the rest of me is now slumping. Sigh. But, I'm daydreaming at my cleaned up desk! I went through all the "to be fixed" things and separated out the 4 things I can actually fix and the plastic/metal ones that honestly, can't even be fixed with superglue. I but those in a different place to decide on later. I threw away some papers, took some to the "keep for life" box (that will one day be sorted out I'm sure), and dusted a bit. I moved the "to be fixed" box to an used area of the desk so I could spread out my piles of papers a little more. I didn't go through those piles today because I have gone through them recently and two of them rotate constantly. And I picked through one of my drawers as well that needed straightened. I know I kind of went through one of my other drawers a couple of months ago and the other drawer has all the spaces for little things that I haven't messed me much so it's pretty much the same. And that's it. I didn't go through any shelves or things under my desk because I know what's there. It still fits fine and is usable. I kind of wish I could have my desk clearer but at the same time, it's a super long desk! I think it's 6 ft actually! It's certainly nice to have a permanent home for all the office supplies, printer, paper, electronics (batteries), etc. and my laptop doesn't have to go anywhere. I leave the battery out and just use the power cord. I don't have a hutch either. And I'm the type of person that if I don't see it, then it won't bother me, and then I won't use it. Same goes for kitchen stuff. I don't mind some clutter on the counter as long as it, too, is rotated through.

Meanwhile, Justin and I have gone off the deep bend laughing at each other's antics. From the way he said "avocado" to seeing if he could touch the ceiling. Oi! And those boys and their wrestling! I told a friend that the 250lb 17 yr old can pin the 110 lb 14 year old, but then the 35 lb 5 yr old can tickle the 17 yr old in any spot on his body and the 17 yr old will get distracted enough (he's extremely ticklish) and let's the 14 yr old go. They can't walk past each other without hitting each other. It's just so hilarious how different the three boys are not only in stature, but personality, and yet, they have that need and instinct to bond by hurting each other. I'm glad Benaiah's home. I know our family feels more complete with him around. Even this evening when Justin and Keturah were helping him bring in the groceries he bought himself, wiping everything down of course, I actually didn't hear him snap at Keturah for once and Keturah seemed fine and ok and willing to help. That's a drastic improvement. I told them the other day that he needs to be awake to realize how our day goes and that I punish the kids often enough, etc and he then parroted back what our routine was in a comical way. I can't remember it now, but it was spot on: school, yelling, lunch, yelling, school, screen time, dinner, screen time....Ok, it's not that bad, and he said much more comical but it was true! We all had a good laugh! I can't wait to bond over the next 6 weeks!

I'm almost out of coffee! And that's not a good thing when the weather is cooler and I JUST bought a new milk frother! Time to dig into Jared's stash.....it's from the office from 2018, it's time to use it up.

Only these two with their "heat is my arch enemy" attitudes would gladly go outside for 10 minutes on the trampoline in shorts and bare feet.

The boys only like it if it's cold though.

Storm damage. Tree limb in the tire swing.

Lots of little debris on the deck.

I guess when I was filming from the front, Jared went out and had to put cement blocks on the trampoline. It had already moved 6 ft! It's windy again tonight and I keep telling the boys to check on it because we can't loose our trampoline now! It's the one thing that all 4 kids will play on! Oh, and the bat box is still standing!

And this down spout was blown sideways.

Lots of debris. Those little acrony bud things drive me nuts!

Otherwise, all is ok, but people 20 minutes from us at a tornado and several big buildings were heavily damaged. A lot of people lost power and trees. Our Kroger lost power until the wee hours in the morning, so they had to stay closed until they could manage the freezers and fridges stuff.

Good morning1

Someone was a little warm last night.

Already partly awake. Hello!

She's the hardest one to wake up! And I will never get a picture of Abishai sleeping unless it's before I go to bed. He's the first one awake in the morning!

Oh, this puts this unemployment thing in perspective. My friend filed for unemployment and so did my sister, Stefanie. She will be "rehired" back at her spa where she is has been a massage therapist for the last 7 years, but she needs money in the meantime.

Making pancakes. Justin didn't want Abishai helping but I told him that this is how I taught you.

He scarffed down four pancakes!

Morning hair! This is the little curl of hair that had been growing out of the spot on the top of her head where she has picked and picked and picked it so red, bleeding and raw, it's ridiculous. But these baby hairs are now several inches long and she does nothing to tame them. At first they stuck straight up, but now, they make this curl on her head. It's a good thing she doesn't care what she looks like (at least that's what she tells us.)

And the face. I know. She has acne wash and acne cream and I've told her how to use it. She still picks. She does have scabs and pits in her skin. She keeps her nails short. We just can't stop her. Plus her glasses are crooked and we can't take her to get them adjusted at our normal place. The kids haven't been out in nearly 4 weeks, so we'll keep waiting.

Just a fun picture of Michael W. Smith in 1993 someone tagged him on. That was the first tour I saw!

Abishai has these certain sounds he makes to tell me he's ready for me to wipe his bum (yes, I still do that). And Justin thought it was hilarious and was mocking him. And he decided to scare him when he came out of the bathroom. Poor Abishai was really scared and ran to me and hid! Meanie Justin!

"I dance on the bed and Daddy gets me!" Work break with the cutest interruption. He actually has been going in there less and less and instead going back to his old habits of bugging us other three.

Baby legs.

Rolling and wrestling, that's what boys do.

All the screaming woke up Miah. So, Abishai joined him.

Aww, but wait, I think Abishai was trying to get off Benaiah's arms.

"Miah, please teach me how to do the rubix cube." Maybe the little boy genius will learn to solve them in a couple of years with Miah's training. I'm glad they got to "hang out." And then Justin was trying to do school in his bed, but all I kept hearing was laughter. I left them alone to bond.

The things I find in the washer and dryer! I found another washed pickled in the washer, but didn't catch these things until after the dryer. I guess Benaiah had a snack at work but why does he have hair elastics? I know he did buy himself some, and he's going to need them if he grows a bigger man bun in the next 6 weeks, but he did say he used them with his bandana at work. He says they have to wear the bandanas when they are prepping food.

Always a favorite throwback pic. The boys looks so different now, but not Mrs. Susan!

Ok, ok, I caved. I had 7 items on my list, so I gave Amazon a try. I ordered on Monday and got nearly everything by Thursday. Amazon said "prime shipping AFTER it leaves the warehouse. But we have a fulfillment center on the west side and things worked like normal. And none of this was essential obviously. Spanish chart for Justin. Lifesavers for Justin and I, so I quite eating high calorie foods at night, and my quarantine/Mother's gift to me, a real milk warmer/frother, which cost the same as 8 Starbucks drinks I get (the fancier kinds).

It doesn't have a fancy pour spout and it's kind of heavy, but I liked the other features on this one.

I used some of the boys' cold regular milk to test it out. I didn't use the warm setting, just the frother and my oh my it looks heavenly! The apparatus isn't much different than the handheld one, but I'm excited that it will warm up the milk, too. Or you can warm up milk and not froth it for hot chocoalte.

And I got this much froth with my almond milk! I'm pretty impressed!

A "before" shot. I had already moved and taken care of the tray that you see there. It had misc. doo dahs on it.

Work in progress.

I moved the "to be fixed" pile to the other side, filling in some dead space and actually only left 4 things to fix. The  rest went to keeping or tossing.

Other side. The piles are often picked through. I wish I could put away some of the taxes (the pile of folders) but I am waiting on the stimulus check and paying ourselves back from medical expenses after running out of HSA mnney. I also got a tray or my "medical supplies" and moved that towards the back as well. Overall, it's much better. Oh and I took a lot of stuff down from the window ledge, too.

Miah's turn on the trampoline.

My boys.

Most of Benaiah's stash. He says he will make enchiladas for dinner for all of us on Saturday. Remember, these are his snacks for 6 weeks. Mostly carbs. He doesn't eat many vegetables. He will share in our meals as well.

I bought this bluetooth selfie remote and it came with a gorilla pod thing, complete with a mount for a go pro and regular camera, as well as a cell phone. It was less than $20. I'm stoked! Now I can take selfies without using a timer! I didn't check all the reveiws for the tripod or whatever, but that's not why I bought it. It connected easily and worked great. I can even turn on and off a video recording if I have my phone on video mode.This will work well when or if I do videos again for IAHE or Lilla Rose or something. Yup, all on a whim purchases. But I saw some great stuff on Amazon's website about what they are doing to combat the virus in their warehouses. I'm impressed!

Nearing the end of the week again, signing off!

The End