The J6 Journey: June 2020

Finally! It's over! The Southside Christian School class of 2020 has graduated! Like Benaiah, I just wanted to get through it and move on. One more celebration, and we can switch gears back to the other children. I know they recognize that they've taken a backseat the last few months. And I am not feeling guilty about that. I promised myself I would not let this year go by in a blur and I would be intentional in celebrating the good, the bad, the ugly and the in between. And so we have. I know Benaiah isn't really looking forward to the open house in the way I know he'll roll his eyes about adults that might come or kids who think they are his friends but he doesn't like and what not. He wants to move on. But I am looking forward for my friends to come and celebrate him, those that have watched us date, get married, and have a kid right away. Those that have walked beside us as we struggled and celebrated. So, onward to the next party!

The day went well. I had my gynecologist appointment and without me having to beg and plead, my gyno suggested waiting on surgery since nothing has changed in a year. Yippee! I don't mind getting biannual ultrasounds to check in on things. No problem! I came straight home, fed the kids lunch, and sent Keturah and Justin off to Grandpa's house. Justin needed to mow and Keturah needed to keep working on her shredding job. Plus, I needed the break from the bickering so I could save energy for the graduation ceremony. I was giddy all day! And happy. Not teary. Not until later when I once again realized how fragmented my side of the family is and how no one considered to be here for graduation and/or the open house. Except for Stefanie. She watched the graduation live on Facebook. And if finances allowed, she would come. I didn't really invite my brother because it was a Friday night and I knew he was either driving for Grubhub or he would have his kids. I did text him later to highly encourage him to pop down for the open house. He can do it in between his grub hub runs. I did hear from Jared's aunts a few "congratulations" on FB. Shauna and Aaron were out for the evening, so they watched part of the replay later, so I think they saw Benaiah's speech.

So, with just Abishai and I at home, I worked out, spent time with him, and quickly showered so Benaiah and Justin could clean up before supper at Gary and Leah's at 4:30pm. Benaiah had gone out with Ava for brunch and shopping for most of the day. He came home in time for a little rest/nap and then picked her up for supper. I'm glad it worked out for her to join us and go to the graduation ceremony since it was only supposed to be family. I didn't have to beg for that either. She and another student in her class handed out the programs for the evening. Yeah! It made me smile to have Ava there because I had flashbacks to Jared's college graduations and mine. And having pictures of Ava with Benaiah in his graduation garb might prove fruitful later. She looked beautiful in her striped summer dress and newly highlighted hair. We love that girl! Dinner was great with a bunch of different meats (Grandpa was very excited about what he found and put together). We had just enough time to eat and run. Oh, and Grandpa gave Benaiah a very special gift. None of us knew what it was and we couldn't have guessed it. And no, it's not a car or some expensive anything. You'll have to take a look at the pictures below. We gave Benaiah a card and I told him that his open house cost is his graduation gift, lol. You don't want to know how much I've spent on Snapfish alone!

Now, onto the graduation ceremony. We gt there with 10 minutes to spare. I bolted right for the seats with barely saying hi to others. First of all, I didn't really want to talk to anyone and second, we didn't wear our masks, so I didn't want to get too close. At some points, it was hard to socially distance though. And it was weird to be around that many people at once. I don't know what the number was, but I think it was less than 100 for sure. We got situated and then the ceremony started a few minutes late. All the teachers and kids walked in well. And every other part of the ceremony was pretty straight forward and done well. Benaiah, Alex, and Logan got up to speak when the class was invited to say a few words. All three of them didn't prepare anything, at least on paper. All three of them held their tongues. They hinted at "drama" and said that the school had shaped them into who they are or influenced them in some way (good or bad), and Jared and I just kept thinking, um, yeah, this school and their classmates have shaped them all right, and not in the best of ways. And I'm guessing a lot of people in the audience were only thinking in positive ways. Benaiah and Alex have been at heavy odds for two years. Poor Logan lost his mom to cancer in April, but is close with Alex. So, for the three boys/men to get up there and speak as well as they did without bringing up politics or details about their conflicts, was amazing. And then the valedictorian got up. Oh my goodness, the poor guy. He's shorter than the rest and a severe introvert. He read from his speech. He echoed the words of the other guys. He definitely didn't have a stage presence. And I felt bad for him. He survived this class of hooligans with honors. And thankfully, he made no enemies.

Then Mr. Petty, the school's founder and former teacher, gave a long talk to the students and told them that love is the most important thing. He's a preacher, too, so all was good there. He mentioned how Benaiah and a couple of others like to argue for the sake of arguing. And then he mentioned other students and their antics or good qualities and what makes them unique. I was grateful that Benaiah's name was spoken a few times. It's good to know that he socially survived high school and had the love and recognition of his teachers. Even his English teacher had great compliments for me about his last papers. And his drama teacher named him as well. Ah, proud parent over here! Then came the handing out of diplomas. And the advantage of a small school is that we had plenty of time to take pictures and all that. Mrs. McCollum even got choked up because she knows us from before our time at Southside. And then the kids all stood up, turned their tassels, we had some teachers pray over the kids, and then they walked out. Done. Less than an hour. Thank goodness!

Once outside, people started gathering for pictures. And they also did the cap toss up thing. Someone brought silly string for their graduate. But there was no parade like the school had suggested. Oh well. Good enough. We took a few pictures with Grandma and Grandpa, and then with Ava. I didn't try to make it look or be perfect since I had the formal ones from last month. I did try to stick around a bit longer to get some snapshots of Benaiah and his friends. He did not want to stick around too long, however, someone did take a photo of him and Ava under the Southside sign, exactly how I wanted to take one. Grrrr.....what was funny was that at dinner, Grandpa thought we would go for ice cream afterwards and Benaiah had to say, "Uh, Grandpa, I already have plans." Ouch. Grandpa's been slighted! He was like, "Oh, ok." and looked disappointed. Our little guy is all grown up and has his own friends to hang out with at a restaurant after graduation. Jared was the same way. I mean, not as social, but he didn't want to necessarily hang out with his parents either. And then, we were talking about 4th of July plans and Jared and I said, "Well, no, we can't get together because we also have (real) plans with (real) people (besides our family)." What?! We aren't riding the coattails of Mom and Dad? Nope! Again, I think Gary was a bit disappointed. Now, as I write this, Gary and Leah have been invited to our small group's 4th of July get together because, it's at the neighbor's house, but the tides of turned, as it should have longed ago. I know I feel sad when I've been taking a backseat to Ava's presence in Benaiah's life, so I'm sure Gary and Leah have had those feelings over the years as well. They are just better at keeping quiet about it. It's just the tone of face and dejected face I see. "Oh, ok." like a sad Eyeore. Kind of cracks me up!

We of course then went straight home and it took awhile for all of us to settle down. In fact, I'm writing this on Saturday because by the time Abishai stayed in his tent, it was almost 10pm! He kept sneaking out and I finally had to be mean and yell at him to just go back to bed. It's not cute, I don't want you in here when it's my down time, and no, you didn't take a nap today, so you don't have an excuse to be up. Go away. I think I made Abishai cry because I was pretty harsh. Again, not your day, kid, and I had been social enough this week and especially yesterday. I was spent. In fact, I didn't work out today (Saturday) because my legs felt sprained/sore, kind of like restless legs, and I took a nap instead. Meanwhile, Jared went to pick up our new to use refrigerator, which was a total God thing!

I had posted on Facebok FT chat asking about local used appliance stores. I think that was on Wednesday or Thursday. Well, on Friday afternoon, someone messaged me and said that they had what I was looking for and in my price range! He shared a link with me with what it was because it's only 3 years old and only used for hold drinks! It's huge and perfect! I got a $500 fridge/freezer for $200 delivered! We do have a mutual friend from church, but who knows if he goes to our church or not. He lived, however, just up the road a couple of miles, which is another God thing. It saved me from dragging Jared around to multiple stores and figuring out how to get a fridge home. And we didn't have to go downtown or to the heart of Greenwood to get it either. Easy peasy. That was my only real goal today was to get the fridge. And to rest. We have an insanely busy social day on Sunday, so today was our Sabbath. Plus it rained all day EXCEPT when it was time to transport the fridge. Another God thing!

The only hard thing about the last two days was communicating with my cousin about being Friends on Facebook again. I'll flesh this story out after supper. For now, I'm caught up from yesterday, yeah!

Ok, I'm back. Basically, I want to reach out to family and reconnect. We are trying to figure out how to make that happen when we have opposing viewpoints on many levels. I just want to see what they are up to and watch their kids grow up. They don't have to follow me back. They can just friend me and then unfollow me. That way I have access to view their photos and statuses without them being triggered by what I post. I hope that this suggestion will be good enough. It's not fair that we can get over our opposing views with Jared's side of the family, but can't on my side of the family, despite all of us being Christians. It's what makes me sob in the middle of the night.

Dinner was tacos and we saved the rest of the leftovers for tomorrow when we did something quick to eat. Like I said, it's a full day of church stuff, socially distancing of course. We'll see how it goes! Benaiah is at work per usual and Jared and Abishai are finishing up their video game so everyone can go to bed early. We've seen an uptick in anger and disagreements lately. I did say that I would let them have unlimited screen time and this week might be the week. But I'm also scared that they will like it too much and get meaner to one another. So, maybe I need to approve of what they watch more closely. It is going to be pretty hot this week and there will be rain the next few days, plus my appointments. So, we'll see!

I 100% agree with this sentiment.

Awesome!

Woot! Woot! You can watch the replay of the Facebook live! I did video Benaiah's speech and getting his diploma and a few other snippets. Not Mr. Petty's long speech or the other boys. And not the prayers. I didn't even bring the big camera. Who am I? The big camera will come on August 1st though for the open house.

Timely time hop! This was actually in 2012 I believe. Nora was less than 3 yrs old, Keturah was 4, Benaiah was 10, Everly was 5, and Justin was 6. This was right before moving to Canada. I'm guessing Everly and Nora were visiting. Farm Mama Photography is my friend Jennifer Wagar. Cuties!

Thank goodness for technology! Only family was allowed at the graduation ceremony.

Now that I look at this again, Idon't look that great, but I was happy that it wasn't clinging to me and showing my belly.

Playing with my old school Polly Pocket.

The meat tray for Benaiah's graduation dinner. We ate at Gary and Leah's because most restaurants aren't allowing big groups to meet yet. Yum!

Very sweet strawberry dessert that he shared with Grandpa.

Benaiah's graduation gift from Grandpa! A ring! But not just any ring.

Grandpa's high school class ring! 1974 from Muskegon High School (or whatever it is actually called). Sweet! Jared has a band ring. I don't have any ring. What a great way to pass something down "to remember Grandpa by." I think it's a way to get rid of things so we don't fight over them later. Just kidding! It does need to be resized bigger because Benaiah has large hands and fingers.

Facebook Live video of Graduation Ceremony

Finally! Graduation! Benaiah and his 9 other classmates.

Simple and sweet.

And Jared is listed as a teacher, too.

Benaiah's cheering squad.

Processional! Here we go!

Opening comments. Three of the students decorated their caps.

Benaiah's speech. He was the loudest and clearest of all the kids. He knows how to project his voice just like his Grandpa.

Benaiah's Speech to his Classmates

Mrs. McCollum and Benaiah. Yes, he does remind me of Jared sitting for his diploma.

This is what kept Abishai occupied this evening, Grandma's camera. Except, Grandma didn't put it on a setting with no flash like I do and Abishai kept flashing the people behind us.

He was thrilled with it! He's been taking selfies and photos since he was a few months old.

Hm,....maybe someday I'll get to use this picture at his graduation.

Benaiah's photo montage. I tried to pick photos that represented his personality and hobbies. I actually didn't send in any baby pictures. Whoops. But we got the mohawk, and playing drums on the oatmeal box, and calling someone on the phone with another phone in his other hand, and lots of sleeping pictures!

Benaiah's Photo Montage

And of course one of these because who can resist such a good looking couple?

Benaiah's turn to to get his diploma. Mrs. McCollum even teared up for him.

Benaiah and Mr. Nanney. I know Mr. Nanney appreciates Benaiah's leadership and he would listen to Benaiah's suggestions. I'm glad Benaiah felt comfortable enough to share his thoughts and insights with Mr. Nanney so they could resolve disputes quickly. It's been a long four years but he made it!

Time to sit down again. I'm so glad there was only 10 of them. Imagine if there were 100's or 1,000! Jared's graduating class at 360 in it. And now that school is a small town of 5,000 or so students! Ah!

Turning the tassel.

So big! All done! Growed up!

Last words and prayer time.

Prayer Send Off

Prayer send off.

Recessional.

Gathering with his classmates after walking around the parking lot.

Time to throw the caps!

Nice! I caught the moment well!

Awww, I'm so glad Ava could be there! What a sweet memory for both of them. They are adorable!

It reminds me of standing with Jared when he got his college degree. Sweet times.

Quick photos afterwards.

Not too bad.

Now that's perfect!

I tried getting a few candids but pretty much failed because he kept walking away. His best friend skinny and tall Chase is standing right next to him. I don't know why I always imagine Chase has being Benaiah's size. I think it's because there's several people in Benaiah's class that were larger. Chase is actually in Ava's class, so the three of them still have a year together before college. They went out afterwards, just the three of them, to hang out. Sweet!

Chase and Benaiah.

Aww, Chase and some of the other kids Benaiah is ok with. Ethan Good being the valedictorian.

Watching Benaiah talking to one of the girl graduates. And that's Mrs. Rachel Snyder in the Purdue mask. We were in MOPS together and her kids are a tad younger than Keturah. She said Benaiah's final papers were excellent. I know Benaiah had some disagreements with her teaching style, but I'm glad it all worked out in the end.

Run, Justin, run! We even told him it was the third sign because, you know, Justin wouldn't recognize his own brother, lol. And then, he couldn't open the trunk.

There ya go. All done. A real high school diploma. I know Justin's might not be as fancy, but we'll see. I asked Justin what he wants to do for his graduation/coming of age ceremony and he doesn't know yet. But I have some ideas. Same with Keturah. They will both graduate from home school like I did.

Gorgeous sign I didn't have to pay for. I can't wait to use this one and the other two at his open house! Woot! Woot!

Aww, if he won't take a picture with me in real life, I'll take one with his sign. Also, I wore my PEI necklace to represent that chapter in our life as well.

Now on to a lazy Sabbath Saturday. Why is Justin randomly reading in the hallway next to Socks? I don't know. Socks like it there because he can keep an eye on lots of areas and it's right in front of the vent. He can also feel the breeze of the fan coming down the hallways. I saw him kind of struggle to breathe a bit today. Poor old guy. He actually sleeps so much and sometimes doesn't move for hours. We are loving on him the best we can. We hopefully have a few more years yet, but still, we love this dog!

Yes, he has been slightly buzzed by lightning before. Not a full shock, but by touching something I think. Sometimes the air is just that thick!

Pictures like this are going to become much more rare when Benaiah moves out. My boys. All 4 of them.

Of course they had to play ball and hurt each other, too.

I'm not going to show you the picture but Jared got down to 204 lbs! That's the lowest he's weighed since he was a kid. He doesn't eat as much complex carbs as he used to. And no sugar carbs at all.

Ta da! I got to cross this off my long awaited to do list! I've missed having a second freezer or fridge to put extra stuff into. We had a deep freezer in Beech Grove and Charlottetown. And we had our side by side fridge at the condo in the garage because the condo already had a fridge. It's been three years of having to say no to things because it wouldn't fit in the side by side. We could only buy the plastic wrapped pizza from Aldi's for instant. And fitting casserole dishes and fruit/veggie trays was impossible.

And this is only 3 years old and only used for drinks the man said. A $500 fridge for $200 delivered. He cleaned it as well. And he had just unplugged it, so it was still cool when it got here. Jared got it into a good spot and away we go.

Extra fruit and veggie storage! Now I can get all 4 milks from the school food! And we can put our drinks in here so they are cold when we want them! Woot! Woot! I'm so excited!

Yup, it was a fully social Sunday. Justin and I stayed home so that I could get him to church by 12:30. He was going to help with the Kidustrial Park drive through event. Jared, Abishai, and Keturah went to Smiths for church. Gary was preaching elsewhere and Leah went with him. (Yeah, I know, that started up again. We won't be seeing him on the weekends unless everything shuts down again. We've been lucky it's been local stuff only so far.) Then we had lunch and Jared and I took Abishai back to church to do the drive through! He loved it! He got to pray with Mrs. Lise Caldwell and tell others that he's going into kindergartner! He even got a green popsicle from Miss Ava Thompson! And everybody loved BB-8 and Dinosaury who came for the ride. And Lydia and Miss Annette wrote on the van windows, so now Jared gets to drive back and forth to church like that ;-). Then we came home again and Mrs. Adrienne brought Justin home for me. Then I went back off and dropped him off again for 5:30 tailgating party with the high school before the worship service. I had to do some convincing but I'm glad we all went to the first ever outdoor worship service at the Creek!

It was warm, but not horrendous. It wasn't even as humid as I expected it to be. There were a lot of people though. We were way in the back away from everyone so we didn't have to wear our masks. It was good to see a few people and I wish we could have talked to some, but I was just lucky enough to drag the crew there. Justin had a headache. Keturah didn't want to go. Abishai didn't want to sit still. And Jared didn't want to babysit him. But I wanted to do it as a family and get us out of the rut of being at home. These kids need to see that there's a real world with real people, especially hurting people, beyond their bedrooms. Jared was nervous because he didn't want to be close to people because of the virus. But I'm glad we went. I don't know how much of it sank in, but there was an accident last night of 4 teens just up the road from us. Two of the teens that we know about, one of them, Ella, died and she and her family are part of our church. Owen, was critically injured and also known by our youth group. Neither one of them are known personally by our boys. But, to see youth, broken and crying not even two years after Seth Wynn's death, wow, these poor teens. The other two teens in the car were able to get out on their own and suffered minor injuries. So, we as church prayed for Ella's family. Unfortunately, everyone was encouraged to circle up and not social distance themselves. Justin surprised me and went up and told him to put his mask on. I stayed behind with Keturah because I know that Jared would not approve. He had gone to the bathroom with Abishai. There wasn't enough mask wearing, which I hope isn't indicative of how church will be in the future. The staff and their families faithfully had theirs on, so that's good.

Anyway, it's always hard to see teens cry like that. I had a feeling that if those kids in the accident weren't part of our youth group, some of the kids in youth group would know them since they do go to FC. Even in a huge high school, it's still a community. Now there's a petition to put up some guard rails on that road which has been needing to be done since Jared was in school. Chad Sloan, one if his best friends, parents lived in a subdivision right there for years. It's a very familiar road to me. Plus, another friend of mine lives right on the road, and another family or two we know live in other subdivisions. Yeah, and it's my shortcut to Greenwod at times. I just hope the petition works this time.

Well, I think Abishai got tuckered out by being outside because after a few attempts to sit in the sunroom with me and play, he went back to his tent and haven't heard a peep. I told him that he cannot come play just so he can wind down and go to sleep. I'm ok with him playing in his tent. Self soothe, buddy. But get out of my "Mommy isn't in charge of you anymore" space. I need these 4 hrs to myself every day, thank you. I still get interruptions as kids drift off to their beds one by one, but the littlest one is the hardest one to keep track of. I hated being harsh but I can't let a new habit develop. Hopefully by protecting my evening down time, the kids will learn to protect theirs. And that they don't always need me. And then they are 18 and still aren't home from the girlfriend's house and you start to worry because two nights ago 4 teen had an accident....ok, not really, I'm sure he's fine. 10pm is Ava's typical curfew. I'm sure he'll be here soon. He went to the grocery store as well.

Oh, one God thing today was that the weather forecast had predicted rain for this evening and it was very dry! It's always hard to plan the outdoor things and we don't have a backup plan for the open house. Eek! I doubt the church would be an option. Maybe one of our houses? Maybe we should think that through a bit more. After my wisdom teeth surgery. Yep. This week is crazy. Gotta get to it!

I remember how hard it was thinking about the next week being the kids' CIY week, too. It's so hard when young people die.

Always. And now it's going to be a permanent thing! Benaiah got some sneak peaks of the tech room (s) this week!

Can't wait!

For high schoolers only! They got Kona Ice (slushies) and ultimate frisbee!

Night 1 of 3.

We did this, too, today!

Justin's favorite novel series! Percy Jackson!

This week's communion bread.

Ah, fresh tape! I decided to take off all the tape on my laptop and put new tape on because despite us washing our hands all the time, grease and grime discolored my things!

Tis true!

Cleaned up and took off some notes I didn't need anymore like "Hungy? Drink milk!"

See how grungy these are? And that card is only 6 months old.

Ready to take his friends to church!

Long Chat

Mrs. Boyer from his 2's and 3's class. We also saw Sam I Am.

Aw, sweet lady! I don't know here though.

We know Mrs. Adrienne and Mrs. Debi. I didn't see Mrs. Erica though.

Not too long of a line. It took about 20 minutes.

Our ride alone friends that became conversation starters.

Some of our friends.

Whoops! He wasn't supposed to get out of the car! But he did anyway and someone took his picture for me. How cute!

Prayer Time with Mrs. Lise Caldwell

Mrs. Lise Caldwell was there to pray with everyone and Abishai jumped up and said, "I pray!" and then started his routine prayer. Mrs. Lise was quite impressed and told Benaiah about it later. She's one of my favorite people of all time.

Three of our favorites from the 4:30 nursery crew! I didn't get a pic of Jasmine though.

Lydia wrote on one side.

Annette wrote on the other.

Two goody bags? Spoiled!

And look who else was there! Our favorite Ava!

She got to give Abishai a green popsicle!

He said he liked the writing on this pop ice better than ours at home. I rode in the backseat with him so I could help him buckle and unbuckle.

Mrs. Joanna and Mr.s Laura!

This is where Justin and his friends stood to indicate which driveway to use for the drive through since part of the parking lot was blocked off for tonight.

He loved all the special writing!

His loot!

Why does Daddy have to take a nap? He took a nap yesterday! I just want to play video games with him!

Benaiah tried adjusting his drums but something went wrong. He was not a happy camper.

Glitter from the signs Justin was holding.

I wanted to repost this but knew I couldn't because I told my cousin I wouldn't. Jesus did not have two dads like we think of two dads today as spouses. He had God, the Father, and Joseph, his step dad. Wrong theology. It's Pride Month.

Come on, guys! If you won't get up, I'll come to you instead to play. We didn't let them on electronics today.

It's been so long since we've done anything with the wagon! I almost forgot we had it until I looked in my trunk for more folding chairs. Big helper of course.