Year 5, May 29th-31st, 2020: From One Virus to Another

The short answer is: No, never, and definitely not without poking and prodding every single person in our household. Sigh. We move like molasses over here and some days, it just gets to me. Especially those days where I'm hurting. I had to get groceries by myself today because Jared was getting sand with Jim to go under the pool. Never again. Or at least not on a day when I feel exhausted. No one was ready for me when I got home. I thought Jared was home but wasn't yet. And there was ice cream in the van melting.

(two hrs later....)

What was I saying? Well, I got distracted by the whiny 14 yr old who has had a week to dig a silly trench for his dad. "But farmers' kids have had more training and can do it faster! I'd rather go rent a trench digger!" Uh, this IS your training. Perseverance. And stop procrastinating. There have been pockets of time where he could have been working and wasn't. He wants to enlist big brother's help tomorrow. Jared won't help because he needs to finish the pool that I had wanted done last weekend but didn't plan well for. I had to remind him to order supplies BEFORE Saturday came.

Then Abishai wanted me to tell Jesus' birth story 3 times. Actually, he told it to me word for word from his Kids' Bible app and then I had to paraphrase it back to him so he could fall asleep. And he wants me to sleep on the couch beside him. Hm,...

I'm tired. I'm sore. I don't want to work out tomorrow. I don't want to be scrolling through social media and here anymore from any side on Covid-19 or the innocent black men that have died recently because of prejudice. Even Jared has been tweeting all day for the last two days about it. Enough! Everyone is worthy of God's love. Every life matters. Wear your mask if you're told to. And move on!

Actually, after going to the store today, I have to say, I hate the mask. I can't think with it on and it fogs my glasses something awful. I can breathe fine. But I didn't wear gloves, and when we got home, I was mad and just wanted things to stop melting so I didn't wipe everything down. Everyone at the store had a mask on and did their best to avoid each other. I went to our usual Aldi's and as always, the employees were kind and I found everything, and things were clean, etc. I bagged everything when I got back to the car, which was a mistake. I was trying to avoid using the shelf inside, but I think it just made things melt more to be outside. I had to make everything fit again into one cart because the cashier couldn't (she looked younger and new, so it's not her fault). I spent $400 again. How?! I thought I was getting enough for 10 days or so! Ok, fine, I bought a few extras since Jared wasn't there. I felt strange pushing this big old cart of stuff with my little body. Yes, I have 6 people in my family and yes, we do eat all of this. Good grief! But at least the cupboards are full!

Got distracted again...pretty active on Facebook groups that I'm moderating or keeping an eye on. So many people exploring homeschooling. I know we can't get to them all, but we work hard at making sure the truth is out there, especially about state laws. I even had to decline a couple of people that didn't have kids! You never know what people's motives are. Fun times!

Ok, I said I'd focus on pictures, which typically capture the highlights of the day anyway. I did officially close our school year today by not writing anything more in their assignment books. They only have reading and math left. Reading will go through the summer and math should be done in a couple of weeks. Onward!

Legos to the rescue!

He thought his weird sleeping position was funny. It's note the first time I've caught him like this. But how do you sleep like that?

Abishai helped Mr. Jim and Daddy unload the sand that will go under the pool.

Jared has to make the other half of the ring and then smooth out the sand. I told Abishai that after we use it for the pool, it can be his sandbox!

I needed a time out so I sat on the porch for an hour and let everyone else work. I made everyone come outside though because it was breezy and 77 degrees! I'm having them all use the garage door and gate instead of going in and out of the sliding door so I don't have to open it for Abishai. So, he brought his cars from the sunroom, through the garage, around the side of the house, being careful to shut the gate, all so he could play next to mommy. When I went inside through the sliding door, I let him bring his cars back in that way, too.

And that's how you play outside.

We didn't get it all done today, but got done a lot! Justin mowed and finished most of the trench (with lots of breaks and complainin). Jared finished the pool foundation but found out it's not wide enough because we both didn't realize that the walls of the pool flare out a bit wider than the bottom. Keturah and Abishai helped clean the pool. We pulled up some weeds and removed some bricks to make the little patch of flower bed part of the yard since it all had grown in anyway. Abishai now has a farmer's tan because I didn't think to put on sunscreen. I wandered, taking pictures, but trying not to work too hard. I did exercise though. I finally sprayed the rug Shauna made me for Christmas with sealant so we can use it inside at the front door. It was a gorgeous day! 72 degrees with a cool breeze. I'm glad we could go in and out and we could turn of the a/c today.

I'm still in a mood today, but tried ot keep my mouth shut. I did get woken up with Abishai looking at me and saying, "I love you." He wants me to keep sleeping on the couch beside him, but Jared and I need to talk tonight. We have to get on the same page before talking to his parents about next steps with Benaiah and our family get togethers. I'd much rather zone out and catch up on videos, but that's not reality. Reality also says that after some peaceful protests run by organizations that didn't want violence and urged people to wear masks and socially distance, some hooligans spent the night rioting and looting our downtown circle! They spray painted our monument! And did millions of dollars in damages to local stores that were about to reopen. We've never had this kind of thing happen in our city before since I've been here. Never. It's scary. And upsetting. And then the police got wind of another riot happening in Greenwood, near the mall, the mall that we frequent that is just a few miles from where Benaiah works tonight. He closes at 11. The protests are for the violence done to an innocent black man who was wrongfully captured by police, thrown on the ground, and basically stepped on until he stopped breathing. The officer is finally in custody. The man did say he couldn't breathe and some onlookers told the police officer to get off. Another black man was murdered when he was running in his neighborhood on a normal jog. For no reason other than he was black. So, #blacklivesmatter are on the forefront again and police are being hurt and so are civilians. It's scary. It wants me to avoid downtown, just as things were going to start opening up. I can't even go to the suburbs right now.

I feel like we are in a movie. I'm worried. I'm tired. I'm frustrated. I can't go anywhere to avoid the negativity at home and I can't go out because the world is too scary. And every time I get online, I'm jealous of those who feel like it's ok to go out. Or those that have family they are on the same page with. Or those that have friends to see. And I'm stuck at home. Uninspired. Worried. Depressed. Why can't we be that fun family? Why don't we have lots of love from friends? Why do we have to be such introverts?  Why do we have to still isolate ourselves? Why aren't we picked to do something fun? Because we are the serious ones that keeps the world turning. That's why. In the background. Churning out productivity. Taking up serious causes. Oh wait, that's just me. Jared just likes to be in the shadows period. I'm lonely. And too tired to make friends today. So I'll stay off of social media instead.

At least we got to enjoy our backyard today. We pay for it, might as well use it.

So many protests. Peaceful protestors does not equal violent looters and rioters who were most likely bused into the city. It's been a rough night.

But this also happened today. Nearly 10 years since NASA canceled the space shuttle program and USA astronauts taking off from USA soil (they've been going up with other country's space shuttles.)  This flight had been postponed from Thursday. Up, up, and away! Oh, the best meme of the day was, "I heard that two astronauts went to space today. Good call." Tis true!

Aw sneak peak of Benaiah's senior photos shoot! I have the photos, I just need to do something with them.

CIY news.

Gorgeous weekend! Get outside!

No, standing for two hours doesn't equal big physical movement. But she was listening to the nook "read" to her in a monotone voice!

Look, Mom, remember when I did this in the pool?

Time to finish the pool base.

Big dog problems. Summer shedding problems. Kids who won't brush the dog long enough problems.

Playing soccer with his little brother though is priceless. And Abishai can beat Justin any day because he has a trick move!

So much fluff!

Are you sure you're not hiding another dog in there?

Cutest Daddy's helper.

Stomping down the dirt into the frame.

Making room for the other frame pieces.

I'll show Justin how it's done! Oof!

Nice spot for a cup of sweet tea.

Just push me a little, Dad. So big!

Nice! I missed the actual launch, but got this screen grab 4 minutes after take off. They are in a rocket, not a space shuttle.

Just in case you couldn't figure it out yourself.

Is it time? Or is it an epic fail? Find out tomorrow!

Justin cut up this beautiful salad! I had made hard boiled eggs and chicken in the morning in the Instant Pot. Nice cold summer supper.

Scary! The Menards that is just hundreds of feet away from Benaiah's Chick Fil A store boarded up their windows to prevent damage from an angry mob threat. Thankfully, Greenwood overreacted and the threats were really downtown, but still. Scary!

Don't fall off, kid!

Exactly.

Sunday. A heavy heart. Broken windows. Broken hearts. 3 days of peaceful protests turned to riots, looting and a curfew tonight from 8pm to 6am in OUR city. Graffiti on the War Memorial that becomes a Christamas tree. #Icantbreathe and #blm (black lives matter) written elsewhere. Dumpster fires, tear gas, water bottles thrown at police cars. Journalists choking up because of so much tear gas. That's what I watched LIVE for over an hour last night. It brought me to tears. This is my city. These are my streets. This is where I take my precious children to enjoy the mall or a concert performance or a special meal. This has NEVER happened here in our lifetimes. It happens in other cities. Not Indianapolis. Scared. Fearful. We have friends that are police officers that worked the riots yesterday for 18 hours and had to go back at 10 am this morning with his daughter balling begging Daddy not to go to work. We have friends, his sister in law in fact, who peacefully protested yesterday and today, and got out of there before the riots and looting started. The police have protected the peaceful protestors. They blocked streets so the peaceful protesters could walk from the monument to the other monuments a few blocks away without being hurt. And now they have permission to tear gas and arrest those who damage property or violate curfew. It seems that the curfew is working. Tonight's news reports look way different than last night's. The live scenes I watched looked like I was watching an Avengers movie. Fires, people running to and fro, cars in the wrong lanes, looters screaming profanities a reporters. There was a false report of the same happening at the mall we frequent here on the southside of Indianapolis, just a few miles from where Benaiah was working last night. A couple of the stores less than a block away boarded up their windows for safety.

So, what are they protesting? The protestors are protesting what they should. The injustice to African Americans. The killing of a man jogging in his neighborhood. The strangling of a Christian man who did nothing wrong but the 911 caller felt threatened. And numerous other black mens' deaths. We have the right to peacefully protest. If Jared wasn't afraid of crowds in general and now with Covid, I would think about going down there, too. The organizers called for peaceful demonstrations and for everyone to wear their masks. It's not them. It's the people that I've heard are bused in from other places for the sole purpose of creating havoc after dark. History is unfolding in front of our eyes. This is huge. It's happening in every major city. Even the Amish are peacefully protesting! But now I protest the destruction of businesses downtown that were just opening up as of tomorrow to try to recover from Covid. Now more businesses will shut down leaving our downtown empty. I heard our repertoire theatre might close.  It's not fair. It's not right. I agree with curfew and making arrests. 180 days in jail and a $10,000 fine if you break curfew. Two civilians lost their lives tonight by their own hands, not bullets from police. Even the president had to hide in bunker at the White House because of rioters. I've never seen America like this. First Covid, now riots? We've been lulled into thinking it can't happen here. We've gotten past the civil rights movement, the protests over Vietnam, even the 9/11 attacks. But now it's personal. We know people on every side of the issue. We've heard teens get called "nigger" when delivering a pizza in the neighborhood just south of us. This is uncalled for.

So what can we do? What can I do when I don't want to go downtown to peacefully protest? If I donate money, what will organizations do to help the grievances of African Americans? I can educate my own children on how to treat people of a different color and race. I can share the differences of good cops and bad cops, good blacks and bad blacks. good whites, and bad whites. But what else? How do I help African Americans feel safe and have their voices be heard? I smiled as best as I could at the African American who dropped off my Amazon package today. We are friends with the white/black couple in our neighborhood, and the black husband (also named Justin!) goes to Jared's men's Bible study and the family attends our church. I could reach out to them of course. I could sent a note to our new staff member who is black. What about serving in an organization that gives blacks more opportunities? But what does that look like? Most of the African Americans I personally know are middle class like us. I could ask them how they feel. But how do you shift a culture? What can we actually change? Do we urge our legislators to make laws that will punish people more severely who slander and hurt innocent African Americans? I don't know. What is it that they want and how do we achieve it? I'm not going to throw money at it until I know it will change lives.

That is what is on my heart and mind tonight. And has been for 24-48 hrs. I've written messages to peaceful protestors and wives of cops. I've shared the horrific news and pictures of our downtown from sources that seem fairly neutral and are separating out the peaceful protestors and awful looters. I'm not sure I can do anything more tonight. I'm emotionally exhausted. From this, from trying to figure out family opinions on Covid and what our future holds for being with one another.

At least all 6 of us were outside for a brief moment on this gorgeous day enjoying the backyard that we've been given. Jared spent 3 hrs trying to fix the pool situation. He wouldn't ask for help and refused help when it was offered. The pool still isn't finished. I didn't get a workout in, but I didn't feel as sore when I played soccer with Abishai. Abishai thinks he is a soccer champion and has won many trophies. Well, he beats Justin and I, but not Benaiah. The sermon today was "Be Strong and Courageous" as we start a quick sermon series on Joshua. Dan did do a quick home video either yesterday or this morning to address the specific events of this week and especially this weekend. He talked about it just long enough to satisfy me but not too long to make it political. It was vague enough to give the victim some honor and dignity without pointing fingers on one group of people. And of course he ended with it that we just need to share the good news of Jesus. I am grateful he spoke up today as Jared and I were talking about how our church doesn't like to involved themselves in these things. So I appreciate that Dan did this morning.

My heart is heavy. It's late. And I need to drive to the northside tomorrow and run other errands. I'm scared. I know it will be the middle of the day, but I don't want to go out. But I'm itching to move forward with some things. I'm grateful that we were going to be home anyway, and that Gary and Leah got home just in time from a cookout with their small group. I've heard two police sirens as I've typed this. And I see now that there are looters and rioters in the shopping plaza where our Aldi's is. I'm going near there for my chiropractor appointment tomorrow. This is insane. Fear of a physical virus and fear of a moral virus. That is the state of our America.

My city looks like a war zone.

Thankfully, only two civilians were killed, not by cops, and only a handful of cops were injured. The violence happened after dark. Journalists were caught in the middle of it though.

Michael W. Smith did a "drive in" concert in Nashville, TN and brought back this piano from the A New Hallelujah record I believe. The screens were lifted up so high and it was so crazy looking! Not my cup of tea. But $40 a car load isn't bad.

Awww, I'm glad she still gets out for a little ride now and then.

Sweet cheeks. I don't know them personally, but I feel like I do from following their vlog for 18 months or so. Safe and sound! Still has heart issues, but otherwise is healthy and strong.

One of our cop friends and neighbors.

I've got this, Mom!

And we are good with details, too.

The moon is out in the middle of the day!

Clear blue skies and 70 degrees!

Finally replaced our favorite strainer. I think the one with the brown handle is 30 years old.

I have used this a handful of times in our household, but they aren't as popular out here in the midwest. They were what my mom purchased for dishes. I bought the smallest amount I could on Amazon and it will last me a couple of years probably.

I splurged. After drinking a full box of regular black tea, I'm over it. Time for the good stuff. Again, not too bad on Amazon. I also restocked our peppermints.

Dobies!

Last minute hurrahs before bed. Can't wait for the pool to be finished. The water is very brown from iron because it's unfiltered water. We tried to attach the hose to the inside sink so we could get filtered water and it was a no go. We'll try some clarifying chemicals soon. But it took forever to get his up. And Jared measure the white part of the bottom of the pool and we both didn't realize that the some of the blue part also is on the ground. So the base needs to be widened and secured.

I think we all just got a time out and we are in back in 2nd grade. But it worked! There was still some damage and mess but nothing compared to the two nights previously.

Bed turned play space. I don't know why Abishai insists on sleeping out here, but whatever.

I get you!

Looks are deceiving. This is a two foot trench with an island left in the middle.

Come out and play, Justin! We want to see you get beaten by Abishai at soccer.

For about 10 minutes, we were all outside, after dinner, enjoying the fresh air on a cool spring/summer evening USING our backyard! And yes, Benaiah blocked Justin's shot.

Then Justin ran away. Jared and Benaiah chased him down from both sides. Jared swung him around by his long arms!

Brother's turn! Then Daddy came back!

Woof, woof, is on the scene! See, this is why I keep telling you to  take it outside! Plenty more room and you won't break anything!

Daddy jumped them!

And the dog ripped Benaiah's shorts.

Why does well water have to have iron in it? Ew!

This is how I dominate Abishai. Just one big massive foot on his chest.

The alert even scared us! It was a like a warning siren you hear on movies about World War II when everyone was to be off the streets for their protection from bombing in London. So strange!  And people are wearing masks, but no one is talking about social distancing anymore. Hm,..however, gyms and salons open up tomorrow, so some are very glad about that.

The End