Year 5, June 8th-11th, 2020: Wait, What Day is It?

I opened up the last blog post thinking it was Tuesday and that post was started on Monday. Um, nope. Today is Monday. Whoops! It was a great Monday! It started off cool in the morning and warmed up quite a bit, but wasn't muggy. The a/c didn't have to work as hard today, which makes Jared very happy. But he won't have to worry about that too much longer because he's decided (or has been requested) to return to the office next week. Boo! So sad! We've LOVED having him home.  He's gotten plenty of work done on his good days. I really don't want him to go back. I love doing life together and I don't feel like I get to see him when he's gone. But, that's life, I know. I suggested he work from home one day a week and he said no. Sigh. Well, gone are the days when he can get up and stretch his legs and water his trees. Or cut some wood for the pool. Or have Abishai run in and out of his office. Actually, Abishai immediately said, "I'm going to pack a backpack and take it to the office when I go with Daddy." Um, buddy, maybe for a couple of hours or something, but not yet. I guess having dinner with Gary and Leah yesterday meant to Gary that Jared is willing to come and go in the real world and Covid no longer exists. Um, no, we still want to be cautious and we are not jumping in with both feet back to anything. A few pools are open around here now, but I'm not going to be the first ones to go. We'll wait until August when kids are somewhat back in school. Same with church, playgroups, playgrounds and the like. We will be the last ones to join. Yesterday we ventured to the parents' house. This week, we'll be ok with going inside our neighbor's house for Bible study. Maybe the week after that, I will plan some one on one playdates. SLOW DOWN I'm sure Gary's been at the office for weeks now. Sigh.

Abishai just exclaimed, "If I had 15 heads and 15 arms I could so many things at once! Like play games with Daddy, watch the tablet, and give you a kiss (Mom)!" You are your grandfather, Child. Go to bed!

Let's see. I exercised early because it's cooler in the morning. I did ok with my stomach, and made sure I ate right away. I probably had way too many sugar carbs today but it's hard when there's ice cream cake in the way in the freezer and you get strawberry flavored Craisins in the school food stuff. I did pick up the food again and you have to take the milk. But a friend will take one gallon off my hands and we did have room for the others, so that will be ok. French bread pizza and Cinnamon Toast Crunch this time. Abishai had moved all his snacks to a more portable container so the drawers were empty and fit the new snacks quite perfectly.  We will need to go to the store by the end of the week though because we will have run out of meat. Anyway, I tried going over math with Keturah and it was a wreck. She was in a mood. Abishai has also been pretty moody lately. I really don't think sleeping in the fireside room is wise because we do go in and out often so I'm not sure how deeply he can sleep. But there's nothing I can do when Benaiah snores so much it wakes him up, too. At least Abishai quit asking for Justin or I to sleep with him.

I finally called our PCP and got an appointment for Justin to start the process of looking into if he has something like ADHD or ADD or something else that his affecting his memory and aloofness. He says he is embarrassed but I think it's more embarrassing for him to struggle so much and look dumb when he isn't. We just need help. I don't have time to become a behavioral specialist. Take the tests. Tell me if there is some diagnosis that we can work on. And then tell me exactly what we can do to work on it. Don't just tell me to "play memory games." No, give me exact exercises to do. We've got three years (really less) to work on this. He's not growing out of it or even into it. We need help. So, start with the PCP, then maybe to Riley for some testing. We'll see!

After a supper of leftovers, I got some water balloons ready and Justin, Daddy, and Abishai had a blast! Keturah refused to play, saying she twisted her ankle. I was taking video and didn't want to be drenched, but I let them get me a few times. The water was freezing! Abishai's cackles were worth it though. Abishai was very upset when they ran out of balloons and we knew he was exhausted. It took a bit but he calmed down by the time Jared came in from making some boards for the pool. And then it's bedtime!

There was a dragonfly in the house! Cool! But we think it was injured. We pushed it gently onto a paper towel and carried outside.

Abishai found one of those super sticky play things that you throw up against the wall and it sticks. And then it falls into a pile of dog hair and won't stick anymore. But he had fun while it lasted! Lots of giggles!

Ew, get off my computer mouse!

I looked outside to see Keturah doing her "excercising" and trying to convince Abishai to climb the tree. She does play the big sister role well sometimes. I also saw her sit in the grass this morning and Socks went over to her, laid his head on her lap and said with his big brown eyes, "Pet me, please!" It was adorable. We are all staying vigilant about keeping Socks away from the bunny nest.

Same slippers, purple ones are two years old, the pink ones are brand new. HUGE difference in squishiness. I do wash them a few times, too. They've held up well for $25 a pair for the last two years. I primarily use them in the summer, but instead of regularly flip flops, I wear these. So your sneakers and other outdoor shoes may wear out in a year or two, my slippers wear out because that's what I wear all the time. I have had to replace more slippers over the years instead of sneakers and shoes. Occasionally if I'm only wearing one or two pairs of shoes out of the house for a 2-3 years, they do break down and I have to replace them, but for the most part, shoes last me forever!

Justin successfully researched and made egg drop soup! Great job!

Why on earth do you have a bucket on your head? Well, I snuck a picture of you, ha!

I was reading about bunnies this morning and it said that if you leave some string in a criss cross pattern on top of the nest and it looks disturbed the next morning, then the mommy bunny has been there to feed the babies. The mom only comes once or twice a night and nurses them for 2-3 minutes. That's it. She moves the top layer and just stands over the nest. If I don't see that anything is moved, I will take one of the cement blocks away, but we did leave a large gap for her. I also read that bunnies like to nest in yards that have big dogs because the dogs keep the other predators away. That makes sense! And they should be here for 2-3 weeks. Oh, and baby bunnies can't go to the bathroom unless Momma bunny kicks their stomach and licks their behind to stimulate them. Ew! Then she does clean up the nest by removing soiled parts. Who knew all this happened while we were sleeping? Nature is fascinating!

I didn't want to get the big cutting board out and since some people had already just cut out some pieces from the top of the watermelon, I decided to just cut it down from the top. Well, that left a ton of juice I wanted to drink up. Lightbulb! I'll just use a straw! Abishai thought it was so much fun! But after awhile I got tired of it. You had to keep it just above the rind so you didn't suck up any pieces of watermelon and clog the straw.

I just want a piece, Mom! And that's a metal reusable straw.

Abishai got his care package in the mail from the church! I'm not sure they've done this before, but it basically says he's graduated to the red Kindergarten room!  He didn't want his picture taken, so he hid behind the paper.

I need to read the whole thing, but yes, that's his graduating from high school year. Isn't that crazy? Doesn't it still feel like 1993? Or even 2003? Yikes!

There he is!

He got a friendship bracelet, candy, a bookmark, and some other fun things to learn about with us.

Time for water balloons! It was hard keeping the boys from throwing the balloons until Daddy got there!

We had some of those balloons on the end of sticks things where you can fill about 30 of them at once. The ones from the open package were dried out and didn't fill up. The other package did better, but not as well as I had hoped. Note to self to buy fresh ones every year. And then I threw in some sponges for when the balloons were out.

This is the only time Keturah got wet.

Then Abishai went lower and then higher and got her good!

Best buds! And then Daddy joined in and got Justin!

Daddy wanted to do some sawing but we had already waited long enough. Abishai went over there and got him!

Justin looks fat here. He's not. It's because I captured his motion in the camera. Weird!

I'm glad we had two buckets set up. Whee! They only got me a little bit when I let them.

Abishai has a very good aim!

The balloons only popped when they hit the ground. But it was fun seeing the boys chuck them at each other.

The face of a fighter. He needs a haircut and some new swim shorts. He's getting too big!

You should hear the shrill shrieks Justin still has!

And done! Did them both! And this was after I posted about feeling lazy and not planning anything. Let's just go and do stuff! I still don't know when or if we even want to go out. We love being hermits too much. Or we are lazy. Or we are mostly introverts. Who knows.

Whoops, too much Facebook scrolling again. Granted, I was reading about why or why not we should take down Civil War Monuments. I have some very gifted, talented, learned men and women in my friend's list. I mean, really smart people that don't get emotional but really know history and are deep thinkers. It's always fascinating to try to read their posts and how their other intelligent friends respond. If you want to know the history of General Lee and the Civil War including citing original  documents about secession, wow, fun stuff! I won't remember it tomorrow, but the back and forth was pleasant and appropriate. The best kind of debate! Anyway, it felt good after going to my zoom meeting for homeschool regional reps and feeling like a failure because I'm not focusing on the same things they are focusing on. They like informational meetings and I'm focusing on the Facebook groups. I don't know if I can do both, but that's why I asked for others to step into helping the other Facebook groups that have been more active than our own. So, yup, that was a kick in the pants. It's not that I'm doing something to serve our area. I most certainly am! Just not in the way that they've done it in the past. But I can try, again, and see what I can accomplish. I think once I do it once, I feel better about it.

But computer work and paperwork and little projects are what I had to focus on today. I didn't have time to exercise. And I still got interrupted by kids. But I rerranged my to do lists a bit and started a timeline of events for the next three months. Now that we have some firm plans on CIY and other social events, I can start putting a calendar together for the kids' bedroom makeovers and the bathroom makeover and Benaiah's moving out. All the things. Big and small. All while getting doctor appointments arranged and attended, finding something to feed us for supper, and working through my own physical pain.

Nothing else exciting happened today. Abishai had Justin set up the kid tent in the fireside room after he put away the pull out bed all by himself. He also wanted the dog to get up so he could put a police hat on him, so Abishai went to the front door and opened it because Socks will usually get up to investigate! And Socks did get up, Abishai shut the door, and put the hat on the dog! Genius! But that genius also didn't feel good after supper during my meeting and Justin was able to set up towels for him in the bathroom and Abishai fell asleep! Poor guy! It was a bit muggy and stormy outside today, so we weren't really out there. I checked on the bunnies, but the strings hadn't moved. So I removed a couple of the cement blocks. I'm hoping Mommy bunny comes back! Poor bunnies! I didn't remove the top layer of the nest but did see a little bit of movement. Socks is now content to leave them alone, although we will still go out there with him just in case. Benaiah was up early to take a tentative team work schedule to work and stop at Meijer again. Then he went in early to work at 1:30. Jared had a normal day and Bible study. He transferred Abishai to the fireside room couch where I put down some towels for him just in case. I don't know if he was able to go potty before he fell asleep, but he's got a decent bladder so we'll see.

Keturah watched some more history DVD's after supper and when I joined her, I could her that I had been to Monticello and Mt. Vernon and it made me smile! I can't wait to take them all there someday! Ok, maybe without Benaiah. But I hope next fall. It's my heart and dream to go.  We'll see! The series is called Drive Thru History and was made pretty recently by Focus on the Family and Tyndale Productions. The guy drives his jeep to these places and then talks about them. He also inserts paintings and photographs from the times, too. I always see these DVD's at the homeschool conventions so I know they come highly recommended. It's not cheesy at all. Ok, just a little bit. But very fascinating all the same. Justin doesn't want to watch any more of them, but I'm going to make them. Seeing these historical places on a video helps to solidify the reading we do. I can't wait to also go to places I haven't been before like Philadelphia, Jamestown, and Plymouth. If only we had more time last summer to explore Virginia! We were so close! We just didn't have the funds at the time to do it on our own. Now we kind of do. Anyway, field trip!

But for now, videos are what we have. Here's a couple of pictures from today:

Benaiah got a thank you basket from Chick Fil A for being such a great team leader! Yeah!

Sleeping beauty!

The nest hasn't been disturbed. That's not good. I removed some of the cement blocks. I did see a little bit of movement.  I'm hoping Mommy finds them tonight.

Abishai took one look at my new mine in my video game and said, "Is that Barkingburg (from Paw Patrol)?  They have two cats just like that one!" Wow, you're right. From the book we have about it, it does look a lot like Barkingburg!

The day lilies are blooming! I also cut down the daffodil stalks. I didn't take the time to rubberband them so they fell over. We'll see if I made a mistake or not. There are so many of them, I'm not too worried.

Abishai the police officer needs a gear belt! Yes, those are binoculars stuck into the waistband of his shorts and you can see his underwear. Goof!

But then he crashed poor guy. He did come up to me and said he didn't feel good but Keturah and Justin had to take care of him because I was on a Zoom call. I could have excused myself, but they handled it ok. I didn't think it was anything too serious and he never did throw up.

Aw, pitiful guy. I think the heat is taking a toll on us because Keturah keeps complaining about her stomach, too, at random.

Wednesday. Appointments. Disappointments. Celebrations. Adult social time. Bible study. Huge winds but no rain. That about sums it up right?

Well, I woke up to Abishai wanting to snuggle and chatter a mile a minute (or more) for about 30 minutes straight. I just kept saying "Uh huh, yeah, ok." Such a chatter box! He did that at 12:30 as well when I went to bed and he woke up from falling asleep so early. So yes, he was on the couch you see above and I was on the green couch, again. (and he asked me to sleep with him again, but sorry buddy, Daddy's going back to work soon and I won't get the extended snuggle times in our bed anymore on a daily basis.) Hard to say no to the kids though. He's so sweet and adorable and he hardly makes a fuss about bedtime. Sometimes he comes out of the fireside room to ask a question, but he's not purposefully staying awake. Anyway, 4th kid, you spoil them to death, I tell ya.

Anyway, phew. What did I do this morning? Oh yeah, shower. I showered. It was shower day. It doesn't happen as often as it probably should. Then I had my ultrasound recheck on my right ovarian cyst and the fluid filled things on the left. NO CHANGE I left there severely upset and disappointed. I've done nothing at all to change them. But based on the fact that it looked like the cyst was smaller four months ago, I was hoping by some miracle that it was gone. No, I didn't pray. No, I didn't have others praying for me. Would that have made a difference? I don't know. But now I'm faced with a decision: surgery before the Israel trip or leave it alone since it hasn't changed in a year. What if I had never gone in a year ago to check the extra bleeding checked out? I wouldn't have known about the cyst. I've could have had it for years now with no issues. Israel has good doctors, right? I don't want another $20,000 surgery when it's going to take 2 more years to pay off the first one. And I have a $2500 wisdom teeth removal surgery in two weeks that I have to pay cash for! I now have two weeks to hem and haw over it before I see the gynecologist. I came home and cried. In Jared's arms. I don't get it. I can't lose weight and I can't get this cyst gone. I hate my body. I really do sometimes. Why can't it just heal and be like every other person's body? Sigh. But it felt good to actually come home, seek Jared out, and just cry for a minute. Usually I don't do that. I felt better.

Then, well, then, Benaiah showed up back home toting his new tattoo. Yes. he did it. He got his very first tattoo! It's the first time that any Johnson of the 12 of us have gotten a tattoo. When he went over to Gary and Leah's for Gpa class, Leah rolled her eyes but Gary was shocked. I guess he didn't realize that Benaiah was really serious and would follow through! Or Gary just doesn't pay attention. I was more excited about it than I thought I would be. Maybe because Benaiah really did plan for it and patiently waited until he had the money and was of age. And because over the last 10 or so years, I've come to know more and more great Christians with tattoos and my legalistic view of what Christians do and don't do has softened.  Benaiah spent the time and money to get shirts for work to cover it and protect it. He knows how to wash it and put lotion on it. He knew what to expect going in. The tattoo artist said his arm was one of the easiest arms to tattoo and took the ink really well. As you'll see in the photo, Benaiah's skin hardly reacted at all. That's a blessing for sure! So, we can cross this one off his "I'm an adult now" to do list. I can also cross off my to do list that I don't have to file anymore liability paperwork for minors! I did do that for the church today when I reregistered everyone for CIY, just in case. But if they need him to sign an adult waiver, they can do that now. Yeah! Less work for me! This becoming an adult thing is making my life easier! Lol.

After that, I had my counseling session, a quick dinner, and I was off to drop Justin to church for his first in person small group meeting since Covid started. I think there was a couple of other groups there, too. They met at the pond near the "white house" on the church's property so the boys could fish. The church was not open and there was no access to bathrooms. Ssshhhh, a couple of the boys even went to the bathroom behind the bushes! Lol! I asked him if he social distanced or touched anyone and he said he thinks he got within 2 ft of a one of the guys. I was mostly teasing. However, I saw his leader Ron Hittel there! The one that just finished up his chemo treatments! Ron is our age. Anyway, Ron was wearing a mask, but it was good to see him out there with the boys he loves so much. And when I went to confirm that small group was tonight, I titled the email "10th grade boys small group."  Say what?! 10th grade?! Nay, Justin isn't 10th grade. Nope. Little Justin? No, he's too young! Well, he is a little young. Ah! Slow down the clock! He's also taken up doing push ups and running and pull ups again. Good on him!

Keturah hurt her ankle, so I gave her permission not to do any exercise today. She was concerned about earning her screen time, but I told her that the principle is still there and you'll still do it when you can, but the idea was to get her off her bed more. We've already accomplished a good part of that in the last week or two. We'll still have her do it, but I can give grace days when I want to. She finished watching all the history DVD's as well. Justin did, too. They took turns on my computer so Abishai didn't have too much screen time.  Justin and I took back a bunch of history books they plowed through in a week's time. We just have 5 more on their way and it looks like they are going to take awhile. Oh well.

Then the ladies and I had Bible study outside at the Smiths in the cool crisp air. It was windy, but we managed. Lots of laughs, lots of great talk about the chapter and what's going on in the world. Great times. I even shared part of our chapter with my counseler today. It was about the silver rule vs. the golden rules. The silver rule of the Old Testament was the list of "don't's" and the golden rule is more about being proactive and DOing things that show the love of Christ. And we are all good about sitting at home not doing the don't's but we aren't good at getting out there and doing things. We have to burst that Christian bubble! I also on the side compared it to negative vs. positive parenting. Instead of focusing on what the kid are doing wrong, focus on what they are doing right. Instead of saying, "Don't be mean." Say, "Be kind." Instead of saying "stop jumping on the couch" say "let's jump on the floor on one foot!" instead of saying, "don't eat junk food" say "Let's cut up this apple together and eat it!" That kind of thing. It's putting more emphasis on the behavior we want to see rather on the behavior we don't want to see. We still have to discipline and say "don't" but it's an attitude shift that I need to embrace.  But the chapter was really about being proactive in our Christianity and living out our Christian lives in the real world instead of holed up in our "fancy salt shaker" which is something I'm NOT good at. I did explain why my go to is social media. I don't have face to face adult interactions that often, so I choose to engage it online and I still have to remember not to be judgy and how to word things well. I do engage people, I just don't do it physically. Not all homeshcoolers are Christians and not all of them will agree with me and some of them will only do it for the next year because of Covid. That all breaks my heart, but I can't be preachy and judgy. I have to learn to get out of my comfort zone and serve them no matter what I feel or what they choose. Especially when my friends still choose the public school and daycares and full time jobs over being home like me. Granted, some of them absolutely must do that. And I do understand. It just breaks my heart every time I hear, yes every time, I hear the word "daycare" come up. Especially when people talk about their kids needing the social time. Sigh. I get it. I have social kids, too. It's just their social needs can be met different ways. One of them is preschool. And there are great preschools. But it still isn't my preference and opinion. And yet, I have to continually put my feelings aside because I'm not walking in their shoes. I don't know their financial situation. I don't know their needs for adult interactions and to have a career and/or job outside the home. I don't understand it, but if I expect them to accept my choices, which they do without question, then I must do the same. Hard to do sometimes. It makes me cry sometimes. And cringe. Not because I'm always right. But because I care. And I seek to educate and enlighten others that there are other ways. Let me present them to you, and then you can decide. In fact, one person in our regular community group was going to message me because of me being bold and saying. "I'm here! If you want to learn about alternatives to public school, I'll help! I won't expect you to homeschool or judge if you don't. I just want to share what I know." It's about motives, right?

Anyway, stepping off the soapbox. I want to watch my shows. I have an off day tomorrow and I really need to sit and binge some things. I did delete a bunch of stuff, though. Oh shoot. No I don't. I have an appointment with Justin in the morning. Grrr. I guess I'll binge watch in the afternoon then.

Wowzers! This was 8 years ago. Camp Allendale. 2012 right before we moved ot Canada. When Jared had hair. And a gotee.

I didn't have my phone with me this morning so this was the pic from the day before. I did move the covering so I could see how many bunnies were still alive. And I saw four moving heads! Yippee! I'm trying to keep Socks from going out at dusk and dawn so Mommy bunny can do her job.

This was my Grandfather Paavo Koski. I never got to meet him because he had degenerative back disease, walked with two canes, and committed suicide by inhaling car fumes because he didn't want to be a burden on anyone. He was gone before my dad and mom got together. My aunt is 12 years older than my mom and her girls are something like 8 and 10 years older than me (pictured here). My cousin who posted this picture explains the picture below. Born in 1905, 5 years before my grandmother, and born in Finland. I do know he came here in part to avoid being drafted by the Finnish army. Finland and Russia were at war with each other again. My grandmother's family also immigrated to Maine right before she was born in 1910. And those are the famous hands my mom always talked about and why she loved the song, "Daddy's Hands" by Dolly Parton. I don't have many photos of my grandfather and what I do have is probably buried in my mom's oldest photos. It's nice to see a picture of him and see if my mom and especially my brother and my siblings and I look like him. I think there's some similarities.

The auto body shop is still there and there's a brick with the founding date on it. My aunt visited it oh, well now, it's been probably 10 years or so. She is the family historian on the Koski side and my cousins are just as interested in the stories as I am. Thank goodness. We take pride in our Finnish heritage. My aunt did marry a Finnish immigrant as well. So my cousins are definitely blue eyed blondies! Lol.

Thanks, cousin Lisa, for posting this sweet picture and tribute. I hope I got the stories right!

So, the tent went up yesterday and I had a brilliant idea of putting his bed mattress in it instead of just using couch cushions. He loves it! Yes, it's "glamping" or glamourous camping. We, the Johnson 6, don't do regular camping although we have a tent and now a new air mattress. Between Jared and I's backs, and all the exhausting work it takes for parents to do this for the kids, it's not worth it for us. I told the extended family that they can take the kids out and sleep in tents, but nope, we aren't going to do it.

The two times I remember camping are thus: The first time, Keturah was 15 months old. We were going to walk the Mackinac Bridge that weekend and camped in a campground with some other Creek families on the southside of the bridge. I slept on an air mattress with Keturah. Justin and Jared were on sleeping mats and bags. Benaiah slept with Grandpa and Grandpa and one night threw up in their tent. And, being upper Michigan, it was cool at night. I have to kind of laugh though because I remember that it was the Moeller's who had the big 5th wheel RV with working shower and the _____ who own the Mocha Nut coffee shop. The Moeller's own the print shop that now prints the e2 books and we love the ____. Actually all of them plus a few others were homeschoolers and that's why we could get up there during the week before Labor Day. This was 2009. And we are still friends. I remember the Moeller's making pancakes for us one morning, too. We went to Mackinac Island and the bridge crossing was quite interesting. Great trip, but I didn't sleep well.

Awww, there's room for Socks! The 2nd time we went camping was in Nova Scotia for a conferences for the churches in the maritimes. I was barely two months pregnant with this guy in 2014 and I was super sick. It was cold each night. Benaiah slept in this tent and Jared and I slept on the air mattress that would sink in the middle of the night. It was pretty warm during the day and I remember having to lay down for a rest in the middle of the day. I also remember having to bundle up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Not fun. Great conference and great memories, but no fun being pregnant at the same time. And this is why I won't go camping without at least a pop up trailer or little camper or something. Nope, sorry, I'll spring for a hotel instead.

It didn't last long, but it was still cute.

Benaiah's answer when I asked him if he was ok after getting his tattoo. He's like his father. Quick witted and also rolls his eyes at me. Child, and you are still my child, I'm just checking on you!

Abishai had part of his screen time in the tent. By the time he went to bed, he had tons of toys in there, the lamps, and books. So cute!

His first tattoo! Faithful over Famous. Always. Nicely done and not even irritated! Over $100 though. Jared and I like tattoos but never wanted to pony up the money to get one. I still want him to get a ring tattoo because he won't wear a wedding ring because it irritates his skin.

Gorgeous clouds on this very windy, cool night. No rain is expected though.

I just read the title for this blog post again, and yup, I still can't keep track of the days. Anyways, today I took Justin to the primary care doctor to see what we can do to help Justin and his inattentiveness. I like this particular doctor, Dr. Pryor, because he's not pushy but still holds to traditional medicine. He had us fill out evaluations to see if Justin has the signs for ADHD or ADD. Justin got to pretend to be the parent and I got to fill out the one for the teacher! Lol! Yes, the doctor knows we are homeschooling. Without helping each other, Justin and I came up with very similar answers. He's not hyperactive, doesn't act out, isn't mean, etc. But he has a hard time organizing himself, his thoughts, and knowledge, especially for school and multi step tasks. "Head in the clouds" syndrome or forgetfulness. So, yes, we could label him as having inattentive ADHD or ADD. The doctor explained the medications they typically prescribe and explained quite well what it does to the body. He explained some of the side effects that typically concern parents without me having to ask them. He didn't push one bit on starting something today either. He gave me a decent packet on the drugs and condition and left it up to me to do more research. He was fairly positive that yes, someone can live just fine without medication, but medication does help in a lot of cases. I know I have friends who are on both sides of this fence and it's a hot controversy. I did bring up diet changes and essential oils and the doctor did acknowledge that they help a bit, but you have to weight the pros and cons of remembering the diet restrictions and being consistent with oils and such. You have to do your own cost benefit analysis. He's a very kind, sweet doctor, that's for sure. And I told him that I come back to this clinic because I really appreciate that they give us the facts, are open to alternative medicine if we want to pursue that, and leave it up to us to decide. I don't feel pressured at all. We also got a referral to behavioral health after I told him we've tired some things and I just need someone to tell me what to do next, step by step. I don't have time to do all the research and just want professional help. So he did that and I got a call about an hour later for an appointment in a couple of weeks with a psychologist at that clinic. Does any of this scare me? No, not really. There's not much stigma around this condition these days or even seeing a psychologist or having an ISP if it comes to that.  Justin is embarrassed of course, and I'm not going to tell his friends, but I told my friends, our relatives, and I will probably mention it to his dear group leaders just so that they can pray for him to not be embarrassed and continue to help him along. Now, I know that there are some people who don't believe in the diagnosis, and to be honest, I don't feel 100% sure just yet. I'd like to see what the psychologist says and such and do some more research on my own. Not that I don't trust the diagnosis, but it's just reassuring when I do that. Although Justin is embarrassed, I think he's relieved that it's not because he's doing something wrong, but that his brain is wired a bit differently. He even likens himself to one of his favorite book characters, Percy Jackson, who has ADHD. And it's a relief to know that it's something we can work with and that he's not dumb. Dr. Pryor even said that there are some very intelligent ADHD kids, some in the middle and some with low intelligence. Again, I love Dr. Pryor, he's so encouraging. The only thing we didn't like about the appointment was wearing the masks. I hate that thing. And I had to do additional paperwork so we can get our discount on appointments for the next year. And that paperwork covers everyone, so we'll all set. Again, Barrington Health Clinic is perfect with us financially and for the basic things with very kind employees. And the location can't be beat. Except there's not many fast food restaurants to hit up on the way home, lol. We did go to McDonald's but we had to wait forever it felt like  and at that location, they don't sell salads or ice cream or huge list of things. I was going to get Jared a salad and was pretty bummed I couldn't treat him. I got him a chicken sandwhich instead. It was our first time going through a fast food drive thru in 3 months. They didn't hear our order quite correctly, but I also didn't say make the #4 a meal please either. The lady kindly gave me a small Sprite because of how it had been rung up. I offered to pay, but she wouldn't take it. She saved me a big fight between the kids when we got home. Lol.

Ok, then it was nearly 1. I didn't feel like exercising, so I didn't. After I got settled, went through the Old Navy clothes that came, went through the mail and tried on my mother's ring, and caught up on email, I was not very motivated and I had a huge headache. So, I instead played with Abishai in his tent bed and then we went through our summer fun ideas and picked out a couple. We flew a kite, we hugged a tree, we prepared some crayons to melt in the sun tomorrow, and we had a picnic on a blanket outside as a family for supper. It was warm but there was a gorgeous breeze and so delightful in the shade. The kids didn't object to being outside with us, not even Benaiah. Benaiah had a very short shift today because he was training the deaf woman. She became deaf at age 12, he learned, so she still talks with a real quiet voice and reads lips well, plus she has cochlear implants. He thinks she's around 20 yrs old or so. And he did ok with his tattoo being covered and all. Again, it's not red at al. He's just worried about infection because it's an open wound. I'm glad he's being very careful and smart. Keturah and Abishai ended up watching Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 1 while we were gone and Keturah said she stayed to watch it because she didn't want Abishai to pick up on the bad language. Well, later on, he did quote it saying, "I swear." Um, no son, we can't say that either. He understands. And I know he was just quoting the movie. I thanked Keturah for trying to help, but said that that was her screen time for the day, sorry. She ended up putting her room somewhat in the order we want when all is said and done. I reminded her that everything has to come out when we clean up the walls, patch up holes, prime and paint, except of the bed itself. She, like me, is just trying to do what she can because she's excited. I did do a bit of clean up and prep work in the boys' room. I'm sure it will get dusty and messy again, but decluttering just that little bit helps my brain. And Benaiah took care of his school things in the living room. I'm not sure what he all threw away, but it's done. I was about to box it up and take care of it myself. I just want a pathway in the living room, please and thanks.

I have to wait to publish this blog post and the next one because Benaiah doesn't want to post about his tattoo yet. But tomorrow is a new day and I'll exercise in the morning, as well as go over some math with Keturah. She's still finishing that up, but there's no timeframe for that. Oh, two more things. Jared was pretty moody today and just wanted to be done for the day. The pool area is done except he needs to get a tarp. It's hard balancing work and stuff he needs to do around the house. I desperately want the pool done, but I put it on him and have to be patient. I told him he needs to take some days off because he just can't get the house stuff done on weekends. He's not a weekend warrior who can complete a project all at once. So, I hurry up and wait on my men. I've got my plan though, so I'm going to work on what I can do by myself. Yup, that's it!

Pics are a little out of order, but hopefully you can follow along. I try not to think about this set too much. My engagement ring was actually an offset wedding band and Jared custom made the second part to fit it. It cost us $1,600, more than a few of our cars. Two mortgage payments. It's upsetting for sure. His ring was about $100.

Such a skinny guy.

Aw, Keturah did sleep with with Abishai! What  good big sister! She said she didn't want to, but I think it meant a lot to him. He likes having sleep over buddies.

No, Mom, don't take my picture. But you aren't arguing! Until I took the picture. Sigh.

Fast food lunch for the first time in 3 months!

I'm going to miss this. Seeing Jared from time to time throughout the day, even if he's grumpy and only grunts at me. Abishai loves it, too. Jared has learned how to get stuff done and we've learned to leave him alone. We conquered this working from home scenario. I know it should end, but I'm grieving it.

Yes, dog, I love you, too.

Let's go fly a kite! Abishai took off running! And you would think it would catch on all the trees and wires we have in the yard, but we have just enough space that it works out well.

Ironman flying high in the sky!  The wind was a bit funky and it was hard to keep it up for long.

Abishai got hot and wanted to rest in the shade so he called Socks over to join him. Too cute!

Best buds. Later in the day, he literally made Socks run next to him. Poor old Socks. It's hard to keep up with the little guy.

Justin's turn!

Laughing at Justin's inability to fly a kite and Ironman taking lots of nose dives.

Crash and burn!

We peeled some crayons so we can melt them together in the sun tomorrow.

Let's see what these will do!

He's my police dog, Mom!

And the way the police hat fits Abishai's shabby hair and makes his ears stick out is so cute!

Picnic dinner of tuna fish sandwiches, watermelon, and carrots.

Gorgeous evening!

Tree hugging!

Justin pretending he can do tricks up high.

Another tree hugger in her new duds from Old Navy.

Abishai can make the tire swing go in circles and then he jumps on.

"I'm a zillow creature and I get you!"

Completely pool base. Just one more tarp I guess to lay down and then fill her up!

Before I decluttered.

After. I put all the stuffed animals on the bed or in the yellow bag, well, except for that small box back there. The shelves are cleared back there and vacuumed. Nothing else on the floor. And I moved Benaiah's Rockband drum kit over to give more space on his side of the room. Now Justin has to go through those drawers before we give his bed to Keturah. Justin loves this bed, so he's going to be sad when it's gone.

Ah, floor space! Yippee!

A few things we have done in the past or did today. Tree hugging, have a picnic, and what birds to we have in our yard (robins, cardinals, and maybe wrens, and hawks).

Socks patiently waited for Daddy to leave so he could lay down next to his buddy.

A panorama of Keturah's rearranged room. Yes, it's going to look awesome when it's done!

Where her mural by Shauna is going to go. We need to do a lot of work to these walls!

Crayons ready to melt!

We'll see how it goes in the morning.

I can't help it. I love posting our wedding photos. And I'm kind of glad I have my bouquet in front of my stomach because in another photo at Jared's college graduation a couple of months before, I have a little pouch.

98lbs soaking wet. This was at the old chapel at the Creek.

One of my fav pictures of all time! This was at Manchester Christian Church. Remember, we had two ceremonies, on in NH and one in IN to accommodate all our guests. Our marriage license says NH and we then spent the night apart and consummated our marriage the second night.

Wow, it's nice when someone else does your makeup and you look like a princess.

I wanted to be a princess and I was!

Oh the lace sleeves! Modest and so elegant.

Happy, happy!

Melinda's got abs and she's actually showing them!

Do you think you see us in our kids? Yup!

Oh the curls! And the days where he had horrible blotchy skin. But yes, that's my hubby at 2 yrs old.

Tiny little guy.

Oh yes, Keturah and I are twins. This is me. The dimples and all.

The hair! The tiara! I agonized over that tiara and bought it myself. I think it was under $40. Same with my shoes, which were ballet flats. And the dress cost $150.

One of my absolutely favorite pictures of all time. The way that Jared will spend time with people and this was with two people he highly admired at the time. Yup, that's him!

Goofy Aaron! During rehearsal for the Creek one, Aaron was pretending to be the flower girl and throwing petals up in the air, lol. And the other famous saying was, "Jared, show your teeth! I paid for that smile!" from his dad during pictures.

The End