Year 6, June 25th-June 27th, 2021: In Between Camps

 One camp down, two to go......

Keturah's last CIY Mix is over. I went to do her laundry this morning and wow, it fit in one load! How?! Because she packs light I guess. She said she had 4 pairs of shorts and 5 t-shirts, which I think included her new one from CIY. She seemed to only have her new sweatshirt from CIY. Or maybe she had another sweatshirt. I don't know. But it all fit in one load. I almost had it done and dry before she even woke up. But she was up at 11am. They had gotten in at 12:40am last night. They were supposed to arrive at 11:30pm. She said that the buses stopped because one side of one of the buses couldn't get the plugs to work so the kids could charge their phones and text their parents. I'm like, wait a minute, isn't that why a) we have a texting system for Luke to send a text TO all the parents at once to say when they would arrive? and b) that's really not a reason to stop. But whatever. I went to go out the door, and Socks' ears perked up. It's very unusual for us to leave that late. Sometimes I'll walk by him at 10pm and ask if he wants to go potty and he won't move. But this time, as soon as I quietly and unexcitedly said I was going to get Keturah, he was up on his feet. I asked him if he wanted to go pick her up, again, in hushed not excited tones and he wags his tail and heads towards the door. Ok, ok, I'll take you. It had stopped raining, so fine, I'll take you. So off we went.

It was fun having a buddy and it helped pass the time. I had gotten there at 12:15pm which was what our last text from Luke had said. I kept the car running because it was so humid out. I turned the overhead light on and played my video games. I kept looking around for the buses and so did Socks. Actually, he had his face turned towards the parking lot behind us where the lights were on. He knew where the excitement was going to happen. After awhile, he got tired and laid down and put his head on the console between the seats. It was way too late for him to be awake, poor thing. Everytime I looked around, he looked around. Finally Keturah texted and gave us a better timeframe. I videoed the buses arriving and Socks was very excited. The buses drove right behind us so they could park right in front of the church with their doors facing the church. Just two 50 passanger buses and one shorter 30 passanger bus. Just a little sad that it was a smaller crowd. It's because we have smaller class sizes I think in general, and I think CIY Move is going to be the same. That's not just because of Covid. It is also because of the dynamics of the groups from back in 6th grade but also because of well, drama, and life, and teens, and lots of people leaving the church for many reasons or not fitting into the mold of our youth group. Anyways, that's that.

I left Socks in the car so I wouldn't scare all these sleepy middle schoolers. Keturah was easy to find and so was her bag. I hadn't told her Socks was there. I did tell her to put her bag in the trunk because it wouldn't fit in the back seat. She thought it was because "the child" was there, aka Abishai. No, but your puppy is there. She was excited about that. Oh my word. We got home, and as soon as Keturah laid down, Socks was right up there next to her on her bed. He did NOT get up on her bed ONCE all week, not to nap, not to sniff, not to do anything. But he hasn't left her side all day. I mean it's been hot, so the coolest part of the house is right outside her bedroom, but if he isn't right there on the floor, he was in her bed with her. He was definitely happy she was home. Now he can have all the treats he wants because honestly, I didn't give him any. And the boys didn't give him many. He doesn't need them. I don't want to fatten him up. But it was a sweet reunion. 

Not so sweet was everybody was back to themselves. Grrr....so normal day otherwise. Justin slept until 10am. Keturah slept until 11am. Abishai woke up with us and was in my face begging for the tablet all day. I finally gave in at 2pm because I needed to work. I spent a good part of the day rambling to a few new homeschoolers, which is my job and there has been some time this week that I ignored my phone, so it's ok. We skipped park day because it was a 30 minute drive and the weather was iffy. Some of our friends weren't going to be there anyway. And we needed Abishai to save energy for his big day tomorrow. We even had him skip karate tonight, too. It's a good thing we did, because I forgot to get him packed until it was supper time. He just needed a few things, but I needed to label them and such. And we didn't have the right sized backpack. We have toddler backpacks and big kid backpacks. We don't have elementary kid size backpacks. Because well, we don't need them, I guess. So we stuffed his stuff into the toddler one and he has to carry his water bottle. I hope they have a central location for the backpacks so that they don't have to carry them around all day. Just the water bottles. Not up to me of course. Or maybe a wagon to put them all in or something. Who knows. I can text Erica or something if I'm worried. I shouldn't be worried. He'll survive. Right? Goodness. I don't remember sending my other kids off to an all day 1st grade camp. I think Benaiah did a sleep away camp for his first camp, maybe 2nd or 3rd camp at this same camp Abishai is going to. And then a couple years later right before moving to Canada he did it again at 10 years old. That's before Indian Creek did the Jumpstart stuff with CIY and such. Anyway, some church people still choose to go to Camp Allendale and have that experience instead of the big production of CIY conferences. They'd rather have canoeing, crafting, archery, rock climbing, that kind of stuff. We'll see. Poor Abishai is so worried about next year and who is going to sleep with Grogu than he is worried about tomorrow. Buddy, worry about tomorrow. Next year will be different. You probably won't care about Grogu anymore. But I didn't tell him that.

Jared and I will take Abishai to camp and both of us will pick him up. He's still a bit worried about being away from us all day. I don't want to get up that early, but he needs us both. And it's like a little date for us I guess. And then I'll come home and work without distractions! Yeah! The 4 introverts at home and it will be so quiet! Eek! We'll pick him up at 5pm. It won't feel as long for us since it's a 45 minute drive. We'll have about 6 hrs of time at home. But oh well. I'm going to make the other two do a quick vacuum of the vehicles because the spring cleaning didn't get done. And then Grandpa want Justin to do some more yard work at some point. The weather hasn't been cooperative and then Justin was busy playing a video game and yada yada. Communication issues, too. Whatever. I'm tired of this back and forth. I wish Justin would take his ADHD medication but he won't. He keeps forgetting to do things. But he said, he packed for CIY without the list and did just fine. We'll see. I'll double check him on Sunday afternoon. I even asked him if he had anything Sunday night and he adamantly said no. I walked over to the calendar of HSM and MSM events on the kitchen wall and then walked back down the hallway and said, "Tell me that again?!" Dude. You both have stuff at church on Sunday night. Grrrr. It's a good thing he packed this evening and we just have to do the double check on Sunday. And then he leaves on Monday morning just like Keturah did and he doesn't return until Saturday morning I think. 

Phew! I did get some of my IAHE work done but now I feel like I've been staring at a screen all day. I've spent no time outside. No time laying down. Barely looked at any video games. I did make nice salads and quickly defrosted and breaded some fish with premade gluten free panko crumbs to bake and put on the salad for dinner. Sigh. Yup. My eyes are tired. Time to get binge watch just two shows and go to bed on time. I had to split up the last episode of one season last night because of picking up Keturah and then I wanted to watch the first episode of the next season and that put me to bed really late. Not happening tonight. 

My late night picking up the daughter from the CIY camp bus buddy, Socks.

I don't think I've ever seen my car clock at midnight. Shouldn't it read 00:22? Interesting.

It's way too late for this old dog.

Until he senses something is happening outside.

Here they come!

Yeah, here come the buses!

Right behind us!

Parked in front of the church, safe and sound.

I think this is the only photo besides the big group shot that I saw Keturah in. She didn't do the church clap. She didn't play gaga ball or 9-square. She doesn't make silly faces that people want to capture on camera. Oh, and she told me she was already getting tired of being around people on Day 2 out of 4. That's why she wanted to see her puppy late that night. Girl! Participate!

Both are back in their happiest of places. Lol.

I told Abishai that he couldn't have another sweet treat unless he played outside for 30 minutes. He asked for a timer and for me to set it for 30 minutes and out he went. I checked on him after 10 minutes and found him wandering the yard staring at the timer. It was so humid outside. I let him back inside and gave him a popsicle. At least he tried and didn't argue about it. And yes, he ate something good for lunch after that.

When your 15 yr old comes to the window above your desk and says, "I just can't stand it! I've tried everything! These zit dot things don't work! It's bleeding again!" Well, you get on Amazon and you try to find something else to have him try. I actually was on Amazon to get some supplements based on what my doctor said after the results came in from my blood draw yesterday (I was a bit low on my iron) and happened upon the Zinc for acne. Ok, let's try that. There's a couple of other vitamins in there Justin could probably use more of, too. And then ok, let's try another acne cleansing system. I don't know any brand names besides Proactiv, you know, the kind we all grew up hearing about. So I typed in that. Well, the regular Proactiv is not any different than what is in Neutrogena, but this MD stuff has a totally different ingredient I haven't seen in acne products before. I clicked on a few other types of products and quickly read through the labels and quickly said, "Nope, too many fake ingredients" and came back to this one which had a much shorter list. Ok, let's try it just because. And it looks like we can get it before he goes to CIY on Monday. Cool. I know what the real reason he's having such a problem. It's the mask. Yes, those stupid masks. He wears the blue paper ones most of the time. He sometimes changes them. I don't know if he actually reuses them. I don't keep track, but I also don't buy more. Either way, he also breaks out more after Sundays when he has to wear them so much. I told him, try to get away with no wearing them as much as you can this week. And let's pack you with as many as we can from the house so you can rotate through them. Not allowing your skin to breathe is awful. Plain awful. Poor guy. I feel so bad. And he changes his razor often. I think he uses shaving cream, but I'll check that, too. And he washes his face. Anyway, I spent a bunch of money, and I broke my "no deliveries on Sunday" rule, but I don't care. Whatever it takes to help my kids feel their best. Keturah wanted a red Canadian moose shirt. Justin wants to get rid of his zits. So, I spoil them. When I can, how I can. Because I can. My babies.

Oh my goodness, I might not have gotten a lot of photos today, but I've got some stories to tell, so buckle up!

Let's see. Abishai and camp. He was pretty calm and steady when he got his stuff ready last night and stayed that way this morning, just matter of fact that he was going and that's that. He talked and asked questions about all kinds of things halfway there and felt a bit sleepy and tried to take a little nap. We took the back country roads all the way there and avoided the highway and US-31. It's more peaceful that way and takes about the same amount of time. Lots and lots of cornfields. Fun stuff! Well, sort of. Anyway, now I can't remember that particular set of conversations and questions and answers, but it was lively enough. I know I tried to remind him to ask people's names and make sure he tells the leaders he has to go to potty as soon as he needs to go because it might take 5-10 minutes before they can walk to a bathroom. I'm sure most public school kids are all used to this, but my homeschooled kid isn't, lol. And this homeschool mama isn't used to other parents taking care of her baby. And it's been awhile since I made this transition with a wee one and it was pretty much brand spanking new to me to even remember to tell him these things. I am glad it came it to me though. Proud parenting moment right there. But of course, then I got nervous when we got there, and went to the wrong table first, although Jared led the way, thank goodness. I get so turned around when I make a social blunder. Oh well, we made it through signing in, health check in, getting his t-shirt, and meeting his leaders. The tables were a bit full already and the room loud, so Abishai and I were a little taken aback. After we had gotten home that night, I asked him how he felt in that moment and he said he was missing me already. I had been hesitant to leave because I could tell he was wide eyed and unsure. Thank goodness that none of my kids are criers. Jared walked right out and it took me a few extra seconds to pull myself away, but then it clicked that I needed to. Abishai had given me extra hugs and kisses right in front of everybody with no hesitation. And as soon as I got outside the cafeteria room, I almost thought about shedding a tear. Yeah, wow, this mama never cries at drop offs. But this is the last "first" camp! Oh my goodness! And this is the camp that we dropped our first baby off to have his first camp experience at! I don't think the planks on the decking have even changed in the last 12 years. So, it seems a bit surreal. I told Jared I'm glad this phase of life has lasted so long and we've gotten to enjoy it over and over again. The excitement of going to camp for the first, or last, time. And seeing all those kids and adults. Warms my heart, even if I want to shed a tear. Sigh.

Oh, I forgot, we were a little early for drop off so we made a quick trip up  the street to McDonald's for a second breakfast. I'm glad we did because Abishai didn't eat all his lunch. He said that he had a hot dog and bun and sprite. Then he described that he had beans, but not the green kind, the brown kind and they were hot. And he had to finish them or he couldn't have the yummy cookie. Well, he couldn't finish them, so he couldn't have a cookie. They didn't offer any fruit and vegetables. But he had Sprite to drink! Ok then. That was not a very satisfying lunch, but whatever. He did get MM's and Gatorade for snacktime a bit later though. I would have given the poor kids the cookies anyway because I would have known they all would have burned up all those calories so it wouldn't have mattered. But whatever. I wasn't in charge. I had heard the camp food wasn't great so I guess they were right. Grandma said not to worry about it, that you can give up fruits and veggies for one day/one meal, and I'm like, um, no, wrong attitude. It's a good thing he had mostly veggies and a hamburger for dinner and he had orange juice and other berries for breakfast. Good grief. I ended up eating his eggs from his McD's meal and Justin finished his OJ and Keturah ate his pancakes, but he got a few more bites in. I had a cafe mocha and when I put it in my calorie count, I didn't realize a small was still 350 calories! Whoops! 

Jared and I enjoyed our rides to and from the camp today, which is a 45 minute ride. It was like having a date night. It made getting up early worth it. We didn't make the others come with us because I think we both knew we wanted the alone time. The kids were just eating breakfast when we returned at 10am, lol. This why we made sure both doors were locked before we left and that the dog had been medicated and gone potty, too. Justin went to work with Grandpa for the morning and I had Keturah vacuum out my car from all the dog hair. Then Jared took Keturah out for lunch, and Justin ate lunch with Grandpa and Grandma. I worked most of the day on my IAHE project and got a TON done. Oh my word. I only have one section left, which is a big chunk of data, but the other sections and decision making is done. I needed the peace and quiet and uninterrupted time today to get in the zone and figure it out and i'm so glad I did. Now I can zip through the chunk of data piece by piece, get with the website person, and clean it all up. And done. Then I just have some other tweaks to do on some new homeschooling documents and I have to do this month's newsletter before Wednesday. I'm not sure when that will get done, but hopefully Monday? And then I'll tackle this other data. I had plenty of caffeine and I was grateful for it. Now, I just need another few days like today for some of the other summer projects and I think I can complete what I set out to complete. I'm trying not to think about those other projects because I feel like I'm going to get overwhelmed and cry. It's almost July and then it's only one month until school starts for most. And I haven't enjoyed my summer quite yet. And I haven't gotten the school year set up yet either. As I say every year, we won't start my part of things until I'm ready. And if I have to set aside something I was going to tackle this summer, than I will. I just need to revisit my lists this week and reevaluate, set some deadlines, and I'll be ok. Everything will be ok.

After Jared took a little siesta, it was time to pick up the little guy. I was pretty anxious to pick him up, too. I missed him! It was a decent drive down, although there definitely some slower cars on the roads in the way, grrrr. It was easy to find him and he didn't look shabby. Not sunburnt and everything was in his backpack and he was ready to go. He was excited to see us, but not too overly eager either. In fact, Abishai and Daddy played a little tetherball before we left the camp, lol. I would totally be ok if Jared put a tetherball post in our backyard! I love tetherball! And then we got in the car to drive home. And oh my, the kid opened his mouth and the words flew out fast and furious and never stopped until he went to bed! When we pick up the other kids from events, and ask how it went they would say, "fine" and "ok" and we would have to drag the details out of them. And they would want to take a nap. Not this extroverted kid. His tank was full and beyond full. He was revved up and raring to go! He started with the pool and water slides, his favorite things, and then talked about how he couldn't play on the playground twice because it was time to get ready for the parents (his least favorite thing was that it was time to leave!). And then the talked about everything in between. I went down the day's itinerary and asked about different things. He didn't say much about the Bible story or worship time or craft of course. But he talked about feeding the turtles and the fish. And about how the basketball goal was too high. And how they wouldn't let him play regular soccer in the gaga ball pit. He told us how funny looking his leader Ted's swim shorts were and how the bunk beds were set up in the cabin they used to change into their bathing suits. He also said that next year, when he goes for sleep over camp, he wants a top bunk, so he needs to get there extra early. He thinks he's going back next week, and can't grasp that it will be next year. He is actually pretty upset by it. He wants to go back so badly! Aw! I love it!

Abishai said he did talk to people but I think he said the majority of his words for us. And when we asked him if he was tired, he at first said no, but then said yes. He was fine through dinner and then started to melt down pretty hard during video game time with Daddy at 7:30pm. He zonked out pretty hard after we got him to settle down. 

After he had talked about camp in the van, he spent about 10 minutes talking about how he wanted to own a jeep when he was 20 years old. We had just passed some fields where Jared had taken Gary's jeep "muddin' " because Gary had refused to do with the jeep what jeeps are meant to do. This was of course done sort of with permission. Jared had permission to drive the jeep. He did not have permission to take it all muddy. And it took a lot of effort to wash it and our driveway in Beech Grove was a mess for awhile afterwards. Of course he only drove in fields that hadn't been planted yet and no, we didn't know the owners, so yes, it was illegal. But, life's short, you know? Anyway, Abishai talked about owning a jeep and putting his kids in their carseats in it like how Daddy put Justin in his carseat in Grandpa's jeep and going off roading with it. And then I said he needed a job to pay for the jeep so Abishia's mind started turning with thoughts about that and how he would work from home and would spoil his kids and buy them Lego sets, but not the super expensive ones (these are all his words, not mine), and maybe he could stay up all night and he could sleep during the day or something because he likes nighttime. And he asked about what job lets you bring your kids to work like Daddy's job lets him have his kids there. Yes, my kid is only 6 1/2, but he observes EVERYTHING and puts it altogether and figures out life faster than a nanosecond. He's going to outsmart us all.

And yet, Abishai was concerned last night that when he goes for sleepover camp, who is going to snuggle with Grogu. And, he was happy that Grogu was there to pick him up from camp and he said, "Grogu! My baby!" Um, maybe next year you won't be so attached to Grogu? Or maybe you will be? Maybe you'll get teased? I don't know. The innocence of kids. Sigh. He's certainly a caring one. Oh, and Abishai did remember some names this time, so hopefully when he goes to Sunday School tomorrow, he'll recognize more kids. He did see a couple of his classmates there, like Jackson, so that's good. Maybe we'll have a few more kids to invite next year to his birthday party. 

And again, are these really my unsocialized homeschooled children?! Cracks me up, every single time when people ask that question. "What about socialization?" Hasn't the homeschool community not proven themselves time and time again for the past 40 years? We live among you. We work beside you. We thrive in the real world. But, I did miss my kid. A lot. He's our little buddy. And it was Daddy play day. And he missed it. It's a good thing we have a lot of those left. Not so many of those left with the others though.

Time to switch gears here.

While we drove home, Keturah and Justin got off their screens, did their chores, and started supper. I gave Justin step by step instructions on how to put frozen hamburger patties on a tray and put them in the oven. He did just as he was told and they did fine. And then we had raw veggies and they had bread for their carbs. No big deal supper. But I'm grateful that they can handle themselves at home when they need to. After supper, I sent Keturah back outside with the lint roller to try again with the dog hair in the car. I know it's hard, but more needed to be done. After she did that, she took Socks on a walk to Grandma's house. I totally thought she was still in the car and had forgotten she had taken the walk, so when the front door creaked open at 7:30pm, I was like, "Who is opening the door?" Oh, it was Keturah!

Well, Keturah came into our room where I was laying down, and started telling me why she was gone so long. And in her story telling, she said, "And I was telling them how I stepped on the key and wanted to get baptized......(blah, blah, blah)" and she just kept rambling on. Wait a minute! Hold the phone! Back up! Girl! We tried to probe you last night about who went up the evening and everything else that had gone on during CIY. And you couldn't even tell us your friends' names! And then when Daddy took you out to lunch a few hours ago, you were able to say more, but you said nothing about YOU going up and saying you wanted to be baptized! What gives! You told Grandpa and Grandma FIRST! You KNOW how I don't like that! I totally said all of this in a teasing voice. I mean, I was/am a little miffed because this is about the millionth time this kind of thing has happened, but whatever, I can get over it again. Her answer was, "I didn't tell you? I just forgot?" all with a big grin on her face. I think she was slightly embarrassed to tell us. Maybe because we've asked her so much about it. I don't know. I don't think she was holding back on purpose. She's not malicious like that. Anyway, I did ask her more questions and basically, she's been thinking about it for a few months, so before Abishai said anything about baptism. She had sort of decided to do it after she finished listening through her Bible. Well, her Bible app messed up and she had to restart back at Matthew again, although she was further along in the New Testament. But when she was at CIY, and she sort of guessed that it was going to be decision night, she decided to go up right then and there and just do it! Yeah! She said she was one of the first ones to go up from our church. And then during their debrief time after the session, Luke had the kids who made first time decisions raise their hands, so she did. The next day, Luke pulled those kids aside and did a little baptism class with them. Keturah said she couldn't remember all the steps that he talked about, but I told her not to worry about it. I'm sure we've gone over it before and she's been to other baptism classes and we'll talk about it again. Jared was putting Abishai to bed, but he came out and said to quiet down. So we had to wait until he came back out to tell him. And then she started texting family and her small group. 

Oh my word, how exciting! What a day! My eyes hurt because of being on the computer, but wow! Back to Keturah for a minute. So, she's going to be baptized on the CIY Celebration night which won't happen until July 25th. I think they are waiting until the end of July so that everybody is back from vacations and to use it as a kick off for schools starting back and fall programming to begin or something. Between now and then, we'll meet with Luke of course and she'll decide who will baptize her and all that. I, of course, hope it will be Daddy. The boys all choose Daddy, and sometimes Grandpa, too. But Daddy was always there. But man, what an answer to prayer. Aunt Stefanie and I, and Grandma and Grandpa, and Daddy, we've all been praying extra hard this year for her. We knew she had the knowledge. It was just that she needed to surrender. I don't know what the breakthrough was. And maybe she's like me and it was nothing major. It sounds like it was just the right moment at the right time but she had already come to the decision much earlier in the spring. I'm kind of glad because I'd rather it be a rational decision than an emotional in the moment one. Oh Praise the Lord! Finally! The last one is going in the dunk tank! My mama's heart can rest a little easier! Not saying they can't be led astray at some point like my sister has been, but at least initially, everybody will be arriving at Heaven's gates. I can be at peace. Grandma and Grandpa are excited. And Benaiah had just gotten there and said, "Ok." Grandma said to him, "Benaiah, it's a woohoo moment, not an ok moment." I told him that and he is just concerned that she and Abishai have made the decision with the right motives and for the right reasons. But his opinions are his and this time, he can keep them. I'm definitely sure on these decisions. Thinking back to Benaiah's decision and Justin's decision, I wasn't so sure with Justin's at the time because he was also young. I can't remember with Benaiah's decision because I think Gary handled his much more than Jared and I did. But come on. I think Keturah knows what she's doing. I've seen a change in her. And that's not the point anyway. The change comes AFTER you accept and believe, not before. And it's not for showmanship. Not at all. Not with Keturah. She does nothing to show off. And Abisahi. He's way too smart not to realize what he did. He even gets communion every week now. Grandma helped him the first time and now he gets up there and does it himself with a leader and other big kids who have been baptized. Yup, I'm definitely more confident in these two's decisions than the first two.

I can rest easy and at peace knowing Keturah has finally made the decision to follow Jesus with her life, and that his blood was spilled for her sins, and that she will be with us in heaven. Oh my goodness, that reminds me! Abishai said it yesterday and today, that he can't wait for all of us to be in heaven because we will all be healed! He recognizes that having to wear glasses and Daddy's back hurting and all my health stuff is of this earth and that when we go to Heaven, we won't have to deal with that anymore! He was said when I told him Grogu won't be coming to Heaven with us. But that's such a normal child thing to be sad about. A childlike faith. Simple. Oh my babies. I'm so happy!

But I'm also tired. I need to wrap it up. And I need to rest tomorrow, but I don't think I can. I forgot to get school supplies for the school supplies drive and the kids have youth group stuff in the evening and then the normal stuff of life. I don't know. We'll see!

Awww, selfie with Mama. I didn't want to let him go! But look at how big he looks! I think he was a bit overwhelmed at first, but he said he was ok after a bit.

Grogu came with us for both rides to and from the camp. I didn't leave him the van though because it was hot and you never leave children in a hot vehicle. Doesn't he look adorable?

Grogu did want to finish Abishai's juice for him though.

Abishai asked to switch out the date and the weather on the calendar yesterday and today, so I let him. We have almost gotten to a full year of faithfully using this set up. I'm so proud of myself! I'm not sure we need the special days of the week thing, but I think we'll do the bottom calendar still if Abishai wants to.

Ah, tetherball! One of my favorites! Jared said, "You can't play it by yourself!" I said, "Oh yes you can! I used to do it all the time!" I want one for the backyard now. Abishai did surprisingly good with it.

Awww, I just found this on Instagram as I was loading up the pics! I know Nolan's Mom, Mrs. Erica was taking photos and videos today, so I'm glad she got this one. I had asked Abishai if he had wanted a photo with Nolan and he said that Erica had already gotten one, and I had trusted his word. he was right. Sweet! These two are the same age. Erica is the same height as I, but much skinnier. Her kids are teeny tiny for their ages. And I thought my kids were always small for their age. Yes, these are neighbors, Nolan and Erica. Nolan is an introvert and I could tell by the way he was clinging to Erica that he was done with the day. But they definitely are cute!

Well, I hit my wall today. I finally got a shower. But I felt a migraine coming on and I desperately didn't want to take the right medication, so I didn't. I managed to make it through service, but I almost fell asleep. (It wasn't your fault Shan, it was a great sermon!). Song service was great as usual. We sat in the 3rd row again so I could stay comfortable. My new favorite spot. And I finally gave Alisha a hug after telling her late last night about Keturah's decision. I'm going to start leaking it out to others and in a week or two, tell all of Facebook, which is all my circles of friends. Anyway. I didn't know what to wear to church, so I spent some time prepping my head space before I tried things on. I went with the first thing I tried on despite it being kind of iffy. No one made any comments either way. Ok then. But then, on the way home, Jared got a text from Benaiah saying he went to urgent care because he wanted to get checked out for strep throat. First of all, there was a few things wrong with that statement and despite my best efforts, I could feel my buttons starting to get pressed. Well, they started to get pushed with his comments last night about Keturah's decisions, but anyway. So when we got to the house. I just stepped aside and tried to stay out of dinner prep because of the headache now migraine and rested on the couch and let Jared do his thing with the grilling. We had to wait for Gary and Karl to drive down from the north side where Gary preached. Gary said the traffic was horrific. Yes, on a Sunday. Not good at all. Dinner was fine. But I was really tired and they started talking about people I knew nothing about and we were done with food/dessert so I got up and put my stuff away. I sat down to read a text from Shauna and then Justin and Abishai wanted to leave. So we actually left before Leah could clean up. By then, I had a raging migraine and I was miffed.

You see, I asked my sister if I needed to buy her a plane ticket to come see Keturah's baptism and she's not available and then I asked Shauna if they were planning on coming up here this summer, and they basically are not because they have another trip planned and then they have to get ready for school. I'm bummed. No family. Again. Abishai's was short notice. I thought for sure somebody would want to come for Keturah since we've been praying for her for 6 or 7 years. So, I'm totally bummed. People travel for funerals and baby baptisms all the time. Why not the real thing? I don't know. So, I tried to rest some and drink my afternoon coffee and then laid down with Jared.

We got up in time to take Keturah to the dollar store so she could buy some treats to take to her movie night/hang time at church with MSM small groups. Then we dropped her and Justin off at church. Justin's HSM peeps did a pre CIY Move get together, although they all will see each other at 10:30am tomorrow. Meanwhile, Jared, Abishai, and I ran up to Meijer because I was too tired every day this week to get up there to pick out school supplies for the drive. Well, lo and behold, they didn't have many school supplies out yet. So we had to go to the year round sections for supplies. Thankfully, there was a couple of items on sale, so we didn't pay full prices. But I told you it was way too early to be doing this school supply drives. Way too early. But it's done. Then when Jared and Abishai went back, they dropped the supplies in the tubs outside of Abishai and Justin's Sunday School rooms. It's not the first time I've had to do it that way either. But I knew they wouldn't count the supplies until at least Monday.

In all of this, I completely forgot that the tide had turned and Jared is back to "normal." I can count on him to do an errand like going to Meijer for me. Something small still for the next few weeks, but after that, he will be able to take care of things when I don't feel good. That's why we went together. That's why if I go on a trip, I would want him beside me. He can look out for me, and our surroundings. Or carry something. Or pay for something. Or ask a question. Or in this case, handle a cranky hangry kid who didn't understand why he couldn't get something for himself. And he kept me on task. And helped make decisions like how many of each thing to buy. Yup, that's why I need my husband right now. And I have him back. And you know what I just said aloud? I said, "I want that miracle! You know, when I get to Heaven, I'm going to have a little chit chat with Jesus and ask him why I couldn't have the miracle, too, because he hasn't given me the answer down here on earth!" But I have to keep moving forward even without an answer. And I think I might pursue a neurologist. But, I'll wait to see what Community Financial Aid will do for me. So, it might be a few months. Who knows. Or maybe IU might have a good one. Maybe we know one that will give me a discount. I don't know. But MRI's are super expensive and I still have a lot of out of pocket to pay and again, no copays, I pay for ALL of the bill unless someone gives me a discount because I'm self pay. I'm just over these headaches and neuropathy and taking so many medications. I got the iron pills today, so maybe that will help with all of the things. But these migraines. Wow. I don't get it. How can I be getting worse? I'm taking a migraine preventative? Yup, time to talk to someone else that specializes in them. And get some imaging done. I don't know. I need to rule out some things. I can't live with migraines and they tell me I can't the medication that actually works every day. Root cause, people, what is the root cause! Modern medicine, help! Nope, because they want to line their pockets with money. 

I see the chiropractor tomorrow, so I hope that helps. And maybe i can go in and get some dry needling acupuncture stuff done soon, too. There's just not enough money to go around until the investment house sells.

I did talk to Jared more about the TN trip but nothing really finalized as to what to do when we get down there. Departure time is kind of figured out. We'll see. We will stay flexible for now. And it's two weeks away so time to get excited!

Next up: Justin goes to move and the littles and I have some fun of our own!

This IS the day that the IAHE turns 38! Woot! Woot! Happy Birthday IAHE!

These are the smallest and yet most expensive products for acne I have ever bought. They are supposed to be 1 month worth for $40. Yikes. I hope they work for Justin!

Well, at least something still fits after 4 kids and 25 years.....size 3 kids' shoes, for the record, from Payless. I have very few pairs of my high school shoes left but I really liked these and another couple of pairs of slip ons. And I really, really miss Payless Shoestore. (not the liquor store).

Hey, look! It's Finding Nemo!

Does anyone else think that collecting school supplies the Sunday after the kids just got out of school for the year is a bit too early? Where are you going to find discounted school supplies? On Amazon? Because the stores don't have them. Even now on the last week they only had a couple of things out so far. It's all 4th of July and BBQ stuff!

Little guy lost his 2nd tooth! We knew it was loose, but I'm glad it came out at home and not somewhere else. And check out that big boy tooth in the back! It's coming in fast! I think the tooth fairy is going to run out of money pretty quickly!

Tooth fairy, don't forget!

The End

Year 6, June 21st-24th, 2021: Really Back to Normal, With a Twist

 Decent start to the week. It's a good thing I can trust my kids and my husband to take care of themselves. Well, for the most part. Abishai wanted pancakes and I did say yes, and between Keturah and I, we got them done just in time. I called for Justin to help, but he wouldn't get up. He and I both went to bed after 1am. He did make an appearance before Keturah, Abishai and I left for church at 10:20am. Jared had left around 8:30 I think. About that time last week, we were preparing to go to the hospital. What a difference a week makes! He's still in a bit of pain, but he's taking it slow and so far, all is well. He has a follow up appointment on Thursday this week. Keturah got all her stuff ready and that's why she was ready to go a few minutes early. I brought Abishai with us because I thought he might like to see all the hub bub, see Daddy and the Legos at work, and see the big buses take off at 11:30am. I had to drop Keturah off literally at the front doors, handing her and Abishai off to Jared so I could make my own follow up appointment at 11am. We got in the car and the gas light came on and thank goodness we had a few extra minutes to spare. Everybody got to where they needed to be on time. Jared has taken the kids through the line for CIY a few times when it was a 6am check in and then he would just stay at work and come home early that day. I'm so grateful and blessed that we can tag team the way we do. 

Abishai packed a bag with snacks, Grogu, and his mini computer to keep himself occupied after they helped Keturah go through the line. Keturah had to drop off her big bag, make sure her forms were filled in, Jared dropped off the notes I gave him that Keturah would receive over the course of the week as the leaders handed them out, and then time for final hug and off she went. She got to have a CFA lunch with her group. Abishai and Daddy stepped out the front doors to wave to the buses as they were loaded up. And then Daddy fed Abishai an early lunch to keep him busy. I didn't get back to the office until 12:30pm. A few minutes after Abishai and I left, Mrs. Debbie said, "Wait, it's quiet, is Abishai gone?" Yup, even when Abishai is on screentime, he's not exactly perfectly still or quiet, so there is a difference when he's around and when he's not, lol. Justin had a nice long morning to himself. He said he read his book outside, but I made him go back outside and he mowed the front lawn. He will mow the back tomorrow.

The weather is going to be absolutely gorgeous this week, which is going to make it extremely hard to work on my projects, inside! Ugh! I did have Abishai go swimming for a few minutes so I could check email and drink my noon coffee outside. And then we played on the swings and led me around the backyard while I pretended to be "blind." We glanced over at Justin and Justin thought I was taking a picture of him and he got upset. See, Justin is acting just like Benaiah did at 16. "Stop taking pictures of me! Leave me alone! I want my privacy!" Dude, I was checking up on you! What if you needed help? I was just curious where you were at. I get it, I'll back off. And I always have my phone in my hand so that's not always an indication I'm going to sneak a photo. And when I do sneak a photo, you aren't going to bark at me about it. I'm the mom, it's my right and privilege to document the end of your childhood because you won't. Get over it. I'm not going through this again. So, for the rest of the day I've sent him GIF's of "emo" hairstyles and angry faces and the red "angry bird" and tried to make light of it. Come one, Justin, you are the EASY one. I'm going to poke you until you laugh again. And then I guess I'll just let you hide out in your room. Whatever.

I guess it was a little quieter without Keturah, but only like it was a Friday and she was with Renea or something. I think Socks already misses her. She told him this morning, "Don't die on me while I'm gone." Don't be so morbid, kid! And then, we had him running around hard this evening after supper while we were playing soccer, and when he came inside, Jared noticed his breathing was a bit off and I started to worry. So I sat with him a bit and tried to feel for his heartbeat but I wasn't sure where to find it. He's fine. I'm just being paranoid. I guess I could get a stethoscope or something if I really wanted to and have the vet show me. It wouldn't never take the place of a real vet visit of course, but it would bring me peace of mind. I could explain to Dr. Johnson how I was going to be a vet and all that. I have called up there with minor concerns, so hopefully I've established that I'm not going to self diagnose anything. Anyway, I'm just so scared about the process and what it's going to look like. I'm not going to be prepared well for it. I know it's just going to happen and I'm not going to know when. Too much unknowns. We'll see. I need to call tomorrow to make his annual appointment. 

I should have made some phone calls today. I could have. But I didn't write down a good to do list and was tired and my head was chaotic. I listened to some videos from an email instead. But I did do my exercises! And I decided how I'm going to keep the calorie deficit going so the water pill is worth it. My follow up appointment was in conclusive to be honest. It was with a different doctor and it was almost pointless. He prescribed something more for the restless legs but provided no reassurance about the other symptoms being connected with the new medications. And I have a follow up with the other PCP in 2 weeks. My bank account groaned. I should have not had this one and just went a full 6 weeks between the appointments and saved $160. I have to call customer care again and see if I'm getting more paperwork about reducing the bills or what. I can't keep up with this. Or we'll have to get creative with it. I'm not that happy at the moment. More week for me. I'll have to do my own research again.  I don't know. At least Jared's stuff is done for now and he doesn't seem to have any complications at the moment. He can decide when to go back to chiro or acupuncture and try his best to spread them out so I can get a handle on this new doc's expensiveness. One thing at a time. And Tennessee shouldn't cost terribly much. $70 for tickets. $150 for hotel. Whatever for gas. Whatever for a nice meal out (bring food for other meals). Not too bad for 40th birthday/20th anniversary trip. Definitely under $500. And nothing else is on the radar for big expenses at the moment besides the A/C.

And this week, the A/C gets a break! With temps in the upper 70's and at night, the low 50's, Jared wants to keep the windows open all night and I'm like, don't you dare! I'll freeze to death! But we'll see. If it's too cold when I go to bed, I'm shutting it all up. The temperature wars continue.

I didn't get much done today, so I'll start fresh tomorrow. I hope to get the spreadsheet for the IAHE project started tonight so I don't have that excuse tomorrow. And then I'll just have to start filling in the data and tweaking it. Do the next right thing and don't get distracted by the mini projects and I'll be ok. I'm great at procrastination and that's what I've been doing the least 3 weeks making up excuses. Well, I said I would tackle it this week and next so here I go. I set the deadline, now I have to make that deadline. It's desperately needed and it will make my life and 100's of families' lives easier. I'm the middle man and I need to be the one to help make those connections. I have the busiest region. I have to lead the way and make it clean and smooth and organized and I know I can. And I need to do it away from the main group in my own way. So, here goes.

I seem to recall, that a box came home about 10 days ago filled with tea stuff and food. Now it goes back to the office filled mostly with Lego cars. Hm,......

Uh oh. I need to separate these two for the next 4 days.

I was in a hurry and used this pancake/waffle mix that is meant to be used in it's entirety at once. I made the calculations correctly, but should have still used half the bag, not what was left because it made so many pancakes! Especially since it was a very thin batter that made crepe like pancakes. I knew that from using it before. I had to add more regular flour to them. And this was the last bit of the mix, so it made the biggest pancake. But Keturah managed to flip it on one piece. This batch made these pancakes....

....and these pancakes.....

...and these pancakes...and the several that Keturah and Abishai already ate.

Ok, for reals, it's time to go, you two.

I love how bright this short stemmed flowers are! Just bright splashes of color that pop up after the other flowers. Not sure how or why they grow where they do. But there they are. The pink and orange ones came up first, then these pure orange ones.

And tucked up way back here that I forget that I really need to replant someplace else or at least bring up into the sunlight a few inches, these gorgeous magenta ones. There's only 2-3 blooms here, because the irises overshadow them.

Gorgeous flowers for the birds and bees.

There's always time for G-Daddy time! Grandpa Johnson thinks so, too! And in three weeks, Grandma and Grandpa Johnson gets to take care of all 4 of our kids (ok, just 3, the big one can take care of himself) so we can go see this G-Daddy in Tennessee. So sweet, though.

It's camp week(s)! Mix and Camp Allendale and Move! Two weeks of camp craziness for my 3! Phew!

Oh....my....heartstrings!  Abishai drew this on a post-it note and asked Daddy to draw a heart on another one, so he could copy it over to this one. It's Daddy and Abishai. I think Abishai is a little bit sad that Daddy had to go to work today. But, I think the blow was softened because I let Abishai tag along to drop off Keturah and let him stay there while I went to my appointment. Again, praise God that a) Jared work right there at church and can help out like this and b) works in an office with tons and tons of flexibility and c) our kids can behave themselves enough to let others get their work done. I mean, how can you not love Abishai?

So this is what Jared was doing yesterday afternoon. He was building himself a shelf so his new toys had a place to go. Good grief. Not one photo of his family but his family of Lego cars has a new home. Whatever, dude. Whatever. He calls this his "productive work week" building all these Lego cars. He's so weird. That's why I love him.

Then there's this guy. We walked by the van and then he leans over and kisses it. I said, "Buddy, why did you kiss the van?" "Because I love Daddy! And I'm going to miss him!" "Ok, buddy, ok."

I was going to try and have the vehicles "kiss" but I didn't want to scratch either vehicle. I guess I still had several inches to go. Jared likes to do that sometimes, have the vehicles "kiss" or touch each other. I guess you could say we have bad breath or something that day. I don't know. We are goofy and weird. We know.

Gorgeous week and I promised to stay inside and work on this spreadsheet?! What ways can I find to procrastinate and stay outside? Oh yeah, call around and organize some playdates! Or something.

He already misses his Sisi. I sent the pic to Keturah. I told her she can Facetime him for 1 minute during the afternoon free times this week. That's it.

Cute graphic! And I asked. June 27th is the actual birthday. I wrote it on my calendar. So, it's only 2 years younger than me. Imagine! As I as growing up, so was the IAHE and the homeschool movement in general all over the country. So many parents were fighting the courts for the right to homeschool even before my parents started to homeschool. And we thought we were the pioneers. Not really. What an honor to carry on what these real pioneers fought hard for.

I was curious so I asked him to climb the fence. He said it was too wobbly, but I bet if the bottom was anchored, he could have done it. This was when Justin got mad because he thought I was taking a photo of him. No, boy, I was taking a photo of Abishai.

I don't know if this was a bare spot and Jared put down a different kind of seed or what but there is a couple of patches of different kinds of grasses and/or there's not as many of the weeds. It's kind of weird.

It's quickly approaching!

Family soccer time! The funny thing is, Justin and I have horrible reflexes and Abishai and Daddy made many goals despite both of us protecting the goal! Hilarious!

Socks tried to get in the middle of it or pass through quickly.

Once Justin caught the ball, he would lob it at Abishai like in dodgeball and Abishai would fall down in gobs of laughter.

Maybe I should have signed these two up for soccer....or basketball. My two almost athletes.

I was looking up an address and I find it interesting to look at the satellite view of things so I can recognize buildings and subdivisions. Well, the satellite images of our area must have been taken in 2018 because all of the intersections are still the 4 way stops and not the roundabouts. However, the four ways are overlaid with the traffic pattern of the roundabouts. So interesting and weird! I just flipped back to the non satellite view and all I see is the new traffic pattern. Way cool! It's like the old and the new! Or the old and the proposed plan except here it is 3 years later and the new plan is in place. So cool! And if you didn't live here, so confusing!

This is where the bridge was replaced last year.

Notice how far west of the old intersection the middle of the roundabout ended up being.

Same thing here. The actual middle of the roundabout is way different than the middle of the original intersection. So cool!

A little of this, a little of that, well, at least I touched on most things today. It was another gorgeous day and we had the windows open all day! Who does this in the Midwest at the end of June?! Wow! So how dare I spend all day on the computer or rearranging books? Nope. I can do that in August. I'm allowed to push my own deadlines, right? Yup! Well, sort of. I did take a shower, worked on my Bible study, rested a tad, made sure people ate, played soccer and swings and basketball with Abishai, brushed the dog's front, bandaged a wounded 6 yr old, kept up with email and games, took a walk around the block (but barely, thanks Aunt Flo), made two phone calls, listened to a 40 minute podcast, and spent about 30 minutes with IAHE stuff. That's enough, right? I did eat something in there, too, and drank my coffee and took my meds. Normal full day I guess. But I felt crummy all day. I'm hoping it's the worst day of the week because I'm going to attempt to take the boys with me on an 8 store trip tomorrow. I mean, 8 errands, a few of them take just a few minutes and they don't have to get out of the car. We'll see how far we get. Justin mowed the rest of the lawn. Abishai was bored. I need a babysitter. I can't keep him occupied. I need a designated Grandma day of the week or something. Something, anything. The only thing I didn't touch on that I think I will double check is that funky hotel reservation for Tennessee. And if I have more time, more IAHE stuff. It's just hard to think about planning when I feel crummy. But that's when I should think ahead and pencil in when I should take care of figuring these things out or when to go to the post office to do Justin's passport. Sigh. Something like that.

Jared played soccer with Abishai before dinner and then we walked around the block, stopping at Grandma's house. The dog scratched the glass of the front door because he wanted to go inside. Benaiah was home and waiting on Ava to come over so they could have dinner together. Aw, just like a real couple. A tricycle motorbike zoomed through the neighborhood going way too fast, grrrrr. I used my new watch to track my walk, so that was fun. I entered it on my other Fitness app on my phone as an exercise thing, which counts the calories differently than just regular steps, and so it helps with my overall calorie count for the day. I hate a bigger dinner so I'm not as hungry tonight. The veggies finally arrived and now I'm just waiting on my hemp bars. I need my special lunches! Come on! Hm, maybe I ordered them differently or the dates were mixed up. I don't know.

I did see some photos and videos from CIY Mix and it looks like everyone is having fun per usual. And per usual, Keturah isn't the first one to jump into the fun or the photos so she's no where to be seen. Oh well. I'm sure it's fine. Today or tomorrow they were going to be talking again about the "big decision" to follow Christ, so hopefully she gave it more thought this time around. I've been praying hard for her this time and I hope whoever got her tag(s) has also been praying for her specifically about it. I'm sure Grandma and Grandpa have been. We'll see. 

I wish I didn't feel so crummy so I could take the boys somewhere more fun this week. I'll try to stop at CFA tomorrow for an ice cream cone or maybe Culver's or something or McDonald's. We'll see. Abishai would prefer a chicken sandwhich to ice cream though. I'll have to double back from the errands but most of them are on the Southport/Emerson intersection so that's why I'm choosing to do them all at once. It's how I roll. I save them up and then hit them up, bam, bam, bam. Then it's Bible study for me and Taco Bell and a soccer game for Justin to watch tomorrow night with his friends. Fun times.

Sometimes, I look around and I start to panic that I haven't done enough at all yet this summer. I have nothing to show for it. And I get overwhelmed and depressed. But then I stop myself. I can't think that way. I will get done, what I get done. I just have to stick to what is in front of me. When I finish that part of the plan, I will get to the next. And if it's too close to the school year, then I'll have to shove that part of the plan to the next holiday break. And really, these playdates and such, are part of my IAHE work. So, if I happen to do one of them per week right now, and then none over the school year, it's ok. I'll tweak my little plan and then whoever I missed will be first on the list next year. I'll get there. I just have to believe it will become more consistent over time.

I can't believe I'm going to this! And Jared is coming with me! I'm so excited!!!!!

Oh my goodness, time to embarrass the little girl and send this to her while she's at CIY, lol! Litttle 2 year old Keturah in her diaper and boots!

Gorgeous!

Oh wow, I didn't realize the GIF would translate, but it did. Keturah sent this GIF back to me and this is exactly what she looks like when I send her silly pics or tease her. This is her "meh" face. Lol!

Anybody missing 1/3 of a dog coat? Well, I brushed the dog for 5 minutes and only around his ears, neck, between his shoulders, and a bit of his belly and sides. That's it. Not even the back part where we usually get the massive amounts of hair. Oh boy, I've let him go too long between me brushing him. The kids just don't angle the comb right to get to the under coat correctly. Good grief! You should feel how silk smooth he is after I properly brush him.

Bear with me, but I found this huge butterfly on our flowers today! It was just sitting there having a long drink! And after a little research, it's some type of fritillary butterfly, maybe a great spangled one (which one website said was easier to approach) or a variegated one. This particular butterfly looks like it had part of it's wing missing so I almost mistook it as a moth. I've never seen one like this up close. I knew it definitely wasn't a monarch butterfly as soon as I started to film it. I guess some people mistake it for a monarch. It was very large, too. Also later in the day we saw one of those much smaller almost pure white garden butterflies, too. Abishai loves to enjoy the garden with me and ooh's and ahh's over the flowers, the colors, and all the bugs within it.

Gorgeous butterfly feeding on our flowers!

 

And then the bumblebee and moth shared the flower for a microsecond. You can see it better in the video.

I encouraged Abishai to climb the magnolia tree when I was brushing Socks in its' shade and the tree won. Whoops. It stung a bit and was ooie. We made sure it was clean, put some lavender oil on it, let that dry, and then put the same size bandage that Daddy has on his boo boo on Abishai's new boo boo so they would match. I think I got more of a kick out of it than either Abishai or Daddy did. Abishai also held an ice pack on it, too. He was right as rain an hour later but won't take the bandage off until tomorrow. He was rolling around on the grass several hours later.

It's just a scratch, but now he matches Daddy.

This kid is WAY too quick with me any time of the month, but especially this week.

I reminded Justin that when Benaiah told me to back off from taking photos of him and Ava, I stopped and took 95% less photos, so I would do the same for him. Well, I got my 5% in today. Lol. Just for the fun of it. I really haven't taken as many mowing photos this year as I did last year, so he can just cool it.

Many hours later, it was Daddy's turn to play goalie and he's much better at it! Or his legs are wider. I don't know. But he was blocking all of Abishai's shots!

When Abishai did get a goal, Daddy would left the goal up, Abishai would launch himself on the ball, and then dive and roll with it like it he was doing a military stunt or something. Don't get your candy cane jammies all grass stained kid! But lots and lots of giggles, so it doesn't matter.

I sent this pic to Keturah and asked her, "Guess where we are!" She didn't respond because I think they were in a session. Grandma's front porch! She later facetimed us before lights out. I wanted to ask her some questions, but I know they discourage much back and forth with parents. They want the kids to bond and focus on what's going on there at the event. I'll debrief her later. I think she's doing ok so far.

Insert whatever state or interestate road near you that ALWAYS has some sort of construction on it and you'll understand the joke. We have an 18 month project going on right now that just started that shut down a whole entire section of the main corridor of highways going through the heart of downtown, one of the only areas that truly gets clogged up during rush hour. Why they couldn't have pushed it through and done it last year when no one was using the highways during the highways at the height of the lockdown, I don't know. But now that everything is almost normal again, they decide to make a mess of things. Sigh. Thankfully, I hardly go that way to get to downtown. I have many other routes to take. Crazy stuff.

 Well, another day, another "I'm not feeling my best so I'll just be lazy all day" excuse of a day. Actually, Justin and I had a good conversation about this today. I don't know if it's our personalities, our ADHD, a bit of both, or just a stage we are in, but we both kind of feel the same thing. We try something, it doesn't come out like we want it to, we don't have the patience to try again or somebody messes it up, so we give up. Or, we don't have the pressure to get it done, so we don't. Or, we know we should do something, but don't want to. I think having a lot of choices to be "productive" is overwhelming to us. Maybe that's it. What if I gave him a bullet list of do this or do that? Hm,..I sort of do that to myself sometimes by saying, "Today, THIS will be done before that," or I give myself a deadline, knowing I can extend the deadline if necessary, but if I've told other people, I'm unlikely to extend it. I've gotten used to now making a deadline with an imperfect product if need be. But, having an open ended deadline does me no good because I just procrastinate. And really, this time, having my own deadline, isn't kicking in yet. Whoops. 

I was going to try go be productive today with the boys and get some errands done, but I truly wasn't feeling great, ahem, time of the month, and I knew it would have been very uncomfortable. I looked at my calendar and made sure I could still fit it in and make sure there were no absolute deadlines I was missing and rescheduled these errands to the other days of the week. I'm hoping I will be better tomorrow because Jared has that doctor's appointment, and I wanted to get that blood drawn down, and then go get Justin's passport sent off. But now I'm in a quandary because I set the appointment for the passport and Jared thinks we can drive back here and and get the boys when the whole purpose was to get it all done at once without coming home and I don't know that we'll make it back to the post office in time. I'm a bit frustrated. Plus I have an appointment at home online at 1. Ugh. I'm hoping I'm not exhausted because I'll go back out after that and do some of the smaller errands without the boys. I was trying to treat them as well, but we did that tonight with some Wendy's.

We were supposed to treat them with some Taco Bell but we couldn't actually sit inside when the sign clearly said the dinning room was open! Justin was supposed to meet Ron and a few of his small group guys there before going over to see his other group leader couch a baseball team or something. I thought it was a soccer game. Lines got crossed I guess. So Ron said meet at Wendy's. So we went over to Wendy's. But none of the other guys showed up. So we got our food and left Justin with Ron and Ron took him over to the baseball fields. A couple of other guys showed up, but that was it. Oh well, Ron and Justin tried to be encouraging to Will. Whatever. I had Bible study. I can't always figure stuff like this out. Like how to efficiently make tomorrow work. Or how to efficiently make TN work. I made up this neat little schedule, sent it over to Jared and he has zero input in it. Great. I'm planning my whole birthday. Thanks a bunch. Can we at least talk about it a little bit? Do I have to pick the restaurant and reserve the hotel? Good grief! If I do that, then you can't complain about it and roll your eyes as to why I choose what I choose. I'm unsure of myself and these decisions because what if I choose a dud. What if I get a nasty hotel like I did for me and Justin in Ft. Wayne. Whatever, this is why I don't work on a team in corporate America. I work better alone. Give me the parameters. Give me the deadline. And then butt out. Let me do the work. That's how I got through college so well. I hated group projects. I didn't trust people for one thing. But I just didn't like waiting for everybody to be on the same page and for everyone to like what I did. If you truly don't care, then get out of the way and don't complain when I get over, get bossy, and do it my way. Sigh.

Ok, rant over. Bible study went well and I think everybody listened to what I had to say. We actually veered away from the questions quite a bit and I was able to say my two cents and more worth. I'm glad I did rehearse it a bit yesterday. I had had a big cup of coffee and then gotten a yummy tropical fruit lemonade at Wendy's so I had caffeine and sugar flowing well through me. I hope I spoke up well enough. But, we'll see. It's so hit and miss sometimes. At least we got to be outside during this gorgeous weather.

I did make the boys and I got outside this afternoon without screens for a solid half an hour. I read a homeschooling magazine cover to cover and it was actually quite good and informative. I hadn't realized HSLDA had changed it's focus a tad and there were some good reminders of things, too. I couldn't run around a lot today, so I had Justin kick the soccer ball for Abishai. And then I pushed Abishai on the swing. Abishai played some kind of game where his red and blue playground balls were police and something and he was the Hulk smashing them and winning. He had seen the Grogu video of Grugo being a baby Hulk. We had watched some Grogu videos and some videos about sheep shearing this morning on my phone. He was just trying to get in some screen time, but still, it's fun to watch with him. Justin went in complaining he was sweaty and needed a shower. It was barely 70 degrees. I didn't even open the windows today because I was cold until about 5pm. Then Jared did and let in all the humidity. Sigh. And the pollen. Not sure that's of much help, but ok, fine. I almost put the heat on this morning I was so cold. So weird for it to be this cool out at the end of June. Almost as cold as PEI is at this time of year. And this is why no one there minds going to school in June because it's not swimming weather yet and the ocean water is still very cold. 

I did clean up the mess from the veggies being thrown into the fridge last night and all that. I need to put stuff into the car to do errands tomorrow though. Ok, I can't change the post office appointment, so we'll just have to run with it. Grrr.....sigh. Super frustrating. I'll time it out again and see what I think and give my final answer here in a few minutes. I have to weigh out what's more important, me going into the appointment with him or the possibility of being late to things or......hm,......yup. We'll see!

One step at a time.

It's a tad chilly out there this morning!

It looks like we'll have a bit of a warm up the next few days.

Little guy doing his Lego engineering thing as always.

Ok, I might have cheated a tiny bit and bought a small $5 pack of supplies, but I'm upgrading my keep today on one of my games! I've been trying to do it for probably a month now and I keep messing it up! Actually, I did the package for something else, and it just happened to come with enough extras to do the keep. And I had enough speed ups that it's going end up taking maybe 2 days instead of 36. Woot! Woot! When it's the only thing you have complete control over in your life (besides your walk with God of course), well, it's soothing.

He wanted to play in his sand bucket and I said yes!

8th grade girls of ICCC! Woot! Woot! CIY Mix 2021 Man they are looking so much older! And then I was watching the Instagram videos of everyone and the 6th grader boys look so small! I mean, I guess it's been a few years since Justin and Benaiah were 6th grade but wow, they look smaller than the 8th grade girls! And I'm just used to the boys now being bigger than the girls I guess because they shoot up between 6th and 8th grade. Craziness!

I was showing Justin the difference in temps for next week between his week in Ohio (with a/c) vs. in Michigan (w/o a/c). Not too much of a difference actually. And overall, I think both places will be much cooler than normal.

Abisahi, do a superman! Ka-thunk! Oh, you are imbalanced because your head weighs more than your back half! That's because you have a big brain! Don't hurt your glasses!

See, you needed to be outside because you ran from one element to another and jumped up and down constantly. Your feet needed to get tired before screen time!

I can't wait for him to go to his camp on Saturday, but also as he gets older and gets to sleep over camps and CIY where he's going to excel so much at all those fun outdoor games! Justin likes to try his hand at those games, even when he doesn't do well. Benaiah never did the games, and Keturah doesn't either. But Abishai is going to be out there, large and in charge, just you wait. He's going to win it!

Gorgeous! No filters needed!

God makes vivid colors!

Woah! Productive day at last! Too bad it was OUTSIDE the house kind of productive. Sigh. Now I have a major headache and backache, too. But all those little errands are done. We went to Jared's first post op appointment and no surprises there. Just talked through what to keep doing and not doing. He's so funny though. Sometimes, he and I are more alike than not alike. He had his phone out and kept referring to a list of questions that sounded well, kind of odd coming from him. They sounded like "10 things you should ask your doctor post op" straight from a medical magazine or something. For example, "What do you expect that I would be doing correctly after surgery? And what do you expect me to be doing wrong?" Woah, woah, woah, what? Huh? Like no, these aren't questions I've ever heard him ask anyone before. These are questions you find therapists ask or something. I don't know. It was a weird moment for me. But even just that he had questions written down like, "How much did you take out? Did you cut through muscle?" Well, first of all, we've answered that question a million times I feel like, but also, wow, yeah, I just did the same thing on Monday, had a list of questions on my notepad on my phone to ask my doctor. Weird. Kind of like when you and your dog start looking like each other because you've been together too long. No, scratch that. I don't know. I guess we've just rubbed off on each other. I was just blown away. He talks a LOT to doctors and nurses. Like nervous talks. And then tells me to shut up when I keep nervous talking. And he's not on any pain killers. It was weird.

Then we hopped on over to the next building for my blood draw. That didn't take too long, despite me getting nervous about timing. We left the boys home, and I'm glad we did. Then we rushed home, got them, and a couple of other things like Justin's old passport, and headed to a certain post office to do Justin's new passport application. And man, no matter how hard I try, those things are always so hard to get right the first time. First, it was supposed to be all in black in and I had given Jared a blue ink pen to fill it in with. Then, Justin wore a white t-shirt and I had no idea you shouldn't do that for the photo. So, thankfully, the clerk was kind enough to do her best with what we presented to her, triple checked everything and sent it on it's way. She even caught that I had copied Jared's regular driver's license and Jared had given her his passport card to put into the computer. I had forgotten he had gotten the card and that he uses that over using his license. Dude, just use what everybody else uses and make it simple. Don't embarrass the wife who stood over the printer at 1:30am copying your darn license, ok? Ok. We did go straight home so we could have lunch and then I was supposed to have an online counseling appointment at 1pm, but she had to reschedule. That freed me up to take a few more minutes to get caught up around the house and rest before going out and doing some other errands on my own. 

The boys went on their electronics and I did all the things: picked up and dropped off shirts to the dry cleaners, returned make up to CVS, renewed all three of our library cards, dropped paper recycling in library recycling bin, dropped other recycling in Kroger bins, dropped clothes off in donation bin in Kroger parking lot, got a refund on prescription medication I overpaid on, checked to see if the extra Kroger prescription discount service was part of our account or not and if it was worth it (it wasn't), picked up prescriptions, bought some groceries (and scoured the store for gluten free doughnuts but Kroger isn't gluten free friendly, aka, there's not enough GF products on the shelves next to the gluten products or in other logical locations). And all of this done in 90 minutes. I win. Finally. Boom.

And I managed to revive some plain cooked chicken and limp green and yellow peppers and onions into fajitas, which were a tad too spicy for me and gave me a stomachache but Justin and Jared liked them. Abishai ate some mac and cheese with chicken, but he had already eaten most of a sleeve of fig newtons so of course he wasn't that hungry for dinner. He had already eaten lots of other good food for the day and some veggies, so whatever. Then Grandpa wanted Justin to do some yardwork, but it was spitting rain so they only mowed the yard, I don't know. Jared went to Bible study. I tried to nurse a headache and take a nap in our bed (the headache is only getting worse, time for migraine meds), while Abishai watched Amazon Prime on the black tablet. He wanted to watch Disney Plus but it wasn't loading that far away from the wifi I guess. But Amazon Prime and all my apps worked. I don't know. We just snuggled and it was just perfect. I hadn't seen much of him all day. And after seeing photos of our friends and their new baby late last night, yes, I needed to snuggle my baby. And the only time you can get that kid to be halfway still is when he's watching something. So I enjoyed those precious moments. 

And now I have to wrap this up so I go get Keturah at church at 11:45pm. Jared has men's breakfast/prayer group or whatever it's called so I have to go do it. And I have now a raging migraine. And everybody and everything wants my attention. It's a good thing that they are calling for rain tomorrow and I get to use that as an excuse to stay home from park day. Maybe, just maybe, I'll get to take the boys to Meijer to get the rest of the school supplies for that collection on Sunday. I know, I know! The legal school calendar is anywhere from July 1st to June 30th, so how on earth does this collection run all the month of June and end just like that? Why does it need to be over so early? I don't understand. I really don't. It seems to be over sooner and sooner. Like they started collecting the week after the kids got out of school. I don't know. I haven't been in Meijer so I don't even know if the school supplies are out yet. They weren't out at Kroger today. It could be a trip for nothing. I don't know. Keturah will want to sleep in. I'll need to do laundry. And yes, maybe, I need to actually work on that other project, you know. And now I have another meeting that was added to my week next week. Thanks, people. Leave me be so I can just take my kids to the water park all day and then have a couple of days to recover, ok? Ok. There's not enough time to do these things and recover and volunteer and projects. I need a magic wand. And a magic surgery that brings my pain level down to a 1 without pain meds. 

I don't know why I wrote the title of this post the way I did.What was the twist? Maybe that Monday and today wasn't quite normal? Maybe? Probably. I don't know. Life is unpredictable I guess.

Oh no. Michael W. Smith's mom isn't doing well. It's nearly time for her to join Jesus. Another reminder that there's "A time to live, and a time to die," with babies being born and friends passing away. It's never ending. Wow. According to the book, I think his Dad died in 2018, so not that long ago. Sigh. It's so hard. Grieving and yet knowing your loved one is going to be healed and with Jesus. It's been a weird two weeks with Jared's surgery, my friend having her baby yesterday after losing two babies and her mom died when she was really young, a family in Canada's dog died today and we know how much they loved that dog (it would come into the office, too, sometimes), and seeing other babies turning 1 yrs old this month and next in our church. And how big our kids are. And that I won't be pregnant again but I'll always have the big round tummy because #life. And up and down I go. And then I see Michael W. stuff and I'm excited for July 12th, but I also have anxiety not only because I don't know how Jared will react but how will I react being down there again, seeing things again, hearing the songs again, songs that my mom likes, and she's not here on my 40th birthday. You know, lots of emotions. Life is stinkin' hard, no matter what it is. It's all relative to the person, too, remember that. My hard isn't better or worse than your hard. My grief might not look as bad to you as you are going through a divorce, but let me tell you, it's just as all consuming, faith shaking, life altering as a divorce. I'm on 8 prescriptions right now. That's how bad it is. I'm obese. I'm hurting. I'm grieving, too. Believe me. And I hurt for everyone else. And I cry happy tears for everyone else. I see you, too. I empathize for Michael W. because I have been there with my parents. I haven't lost a child, but I have anxiety that includes fearing the loss of children and spouse. Actually, I somewhat knew grief after losing my parents, but I really didn't know grief until we were told to leave Canada. Then, and only then, did I really know what grieving was. And utter devastation. And 99% of people do not understand it. It's just a job. It's just a place. It's just a community. Your kids didn't thrive there. Your spouse didn't thrive there. Your body didn't even really thrive there. But my soul did. My heart did. I grew in leaps and bounds there. I was home. And 5 years later, I can still get very choked up about it. I never got choked up about leaving NH or IN. Just Canada. When I see photos of friends and places I cherish in NH, I don't cry. But if it's from PEI, oh man, hit me on an emotional day and I'm done. I weep. So, I know grief. And I know, especially after listening to his book, I know where Michael and his family are at on this. I know where his Mom would be on this. She would want to go Home. She would be ready to be with Jesus and with her husband. It's time. Praise God that Michael is home this time. He was in Asia when his dad passed away, he talked about it in the book. He did speak to his dad and released him to go to Heaven before he flew back to TN. I remember releasing my dad and my mom, telling them, it's ok, go be with Jesus, we will be ok, don't stay here, don't cling to this earth, we want you to be healed and the only way to be fully healed is to be in Heaven. I don't want to rush it, but it's true of my own illnesses. And I hate it. I want to enjoy my life like everybody else does, and yet, everyday I have to make decisions based on what my body can handle. It's exhausting just making those decisions. Thus I have a migraine.

18 weeks for normal processing and 12 weeks for expedited processing! Ridiculous! But we went with 12 weeks anyway. Grrr.....And I really wanted to wait until Justin was 16 so he could get an adult passport that would last 10 years instead of 5, but whatever.

Abishai was "packing" when he was waiting on Daddy to get home.

The End