Year 6, May 31st-June 3rd, 2021: Back to Work

 Ah, it's another Monday holiday. Another extra Saturday, if you will. Time to actually get some work done since I woke up without a migraine! Praise the Lord! I've had a migraine for 3 days straight! I got a lot done today and that always makes me happy! Justin got to do a ton of yard work for Grandpa, and then they came over to our house to get the pool started for our backyard. We didn't fill it all the way because we then went back over to Grandpa's house for our "Sunday" dinner/Memorial Day BBQ. Benaiah worked a normal Monday all day shift at Chick Fil A, his second to last Monday shift. He's already counting down the hours. I remember when I gave my notice to Quizno's and Staples and I did my best to still work hard and not count down the hours, but internally, I still did. It's human nature it seems. He's so excited about his new job, and for good reason. He should be. We are very proud of him. Even if his frontal lobe is not fully developed yet and he still wants Legos for his birthday and he plays with his lips just because he can at the dinner table. Lol. He was on us about helping Justin get a job sooner rather than later. I told him to just cool it. It's on my radar for the end of the summer. There's plenty of jobs around. I'm not ready for that. I can only focus on one task at a time. I've got my list of tasks. We've been talking about Justin's next steps for months. We don't have to follow Benaiah's exact footsteps or time table. We will get there. Benaiah's just being an overprotective big brother. And I don't want to Justin to feel like he has to do exactly what Benaiah did. I want Justin to find his own path. And he will.

Abishai and Keturah will, too. Abishai was outside with Socks first thing this morning for 15 minutes or so at about 7:30am in his shorts and short sleeved pjs. Then he came in to snuggle with us and he was an icicle! I was wide awake then! But then we snoozed until 9am. Good grief! That kind of put us "behind" for the day with a late breakfast and late start. Sigh. I had no expectations for Jared today and whatever happened with the pool or yardwork or whatever, happened. I had made my list, so I got right on it as soon as I could and got most of it done. If I finish this blog here in the next little bit, I can tackle the last bit, Justin's passport. There's no word yet on if they are going to even be able to go to Israel in the fall, but I have to do my part and get the passport done. I hate doing it before his birthday because then we have to get the 5 yr kid one and we both have to be present when we take it to the post office instead of doing the 10 year adult one when he turns 16 like Benaiah gets to do. Grrr....but the timing is too close to do the 10 year one. Oh well. Do my part. Let the chips fall where they fall. I have my passport. I don't know about Jared's at the moment. And then we'll do Keturah's next, either the 5 yr if we think we'll cross a border soon, or wait until she's 16, but we really should do Abishai's much sooner than his 16th birthday because we only have the expired Canadian one. So, one at a time, we'll get them done. Then tomorrow I will tackle the books I'm procrastinating on. I just don't want to give away the preschool books I've been holding onto for years thinking the kids will do them. But I don't like sitting down to do the workbooks with them, so will I do them with grandkids? Probably not. I need to get rid of them. But it makes me sad. I could put them in a box and put them in the attic or the shed. But what good does that do? I don't know. Sigh. That's tomorrow.

That's pretty much it. I had a decent shower today and kept my attitude in check. Keturah and Justin read some of their summer reading books. I talked with Stefanie via texting today and finished yesterday's blogging and video uploading and external drive backing up and cd backing up. Yup. That's about it. I am getting a bit of a headache now. Not sure why. I had the lady tighten my glasses on Friday, so I think that's pressing in on my head a bit. My neck kind of hurts, too. I'm not sure what to do with myself. I have a trasncript seminar thing this week. I need  to start exercising now that my head is doing better, so I'll try that while the weather is cooler. And I need to go log my food. All that kind of stuff. The region 9 homeschool newsletter goes out tomorrow, so I'm on track so far. One day at a time. That's the goal. All the men in my life can take a step back and let me work my list. I'll get there. One project at a time, in my own timing, stress free, when I'm ready. I see the stuff. I will get there. Leave me be.

I believe this pirate ship has been in the family since the original Lego pirate theme came out in the 80's or 90's. My sister Kristina liked the Pirate ones. The cannon was part of those sets, too. Abishai says this is the bad guy ship.

Aw, June's nature photo is of "Nemo" fish! How appropriate when Benaiah's birthday is June 4th and his favorite childhood movie is "Finding Nemo."

Colorful Memorial Day BBQ dinner!

I loaded the videos I took of Benaiah during second service yesterday at church on YouTube and made a playlist and put in the profile of my IG and on a post on FB. I wanted to share it as wide as possible because I'm a proud mom, ok?

SSSHHHHHH, it's our little secret! That comes out on Tuesday! Tomorrow! Actually, that's why I didn't post the previous two blog posts on their original days because I talked about this very secret. I already bought tickets to this very special concert that will be recorded for this live worship album and I'm trying to get Jared to take me. If not, I'll find a friend. But I'm going to be part of it because it's on my 40th birthday. How could I NOT go, am I right?! Yeah, it's totally me! I LOVE this cover! It's an awesome rendition of ALL the worship album covers. Seriously. So awesome! I'm going to Nashville in 41 days! Ah!

 

Tuesday was a bit warmer, so the kids attempted to get in the pool. Abishai lasted 30 minutes and Keturah lasted about an hour, brave girl. We finished filling up the pool and found the cover and the rope for it. We put the new padding on the trampoline as well. It's supposed to rain tomorrow, so we made sure everything was cleaned up when we were done. Then I cleaned up the living room like I said I was going to. I didn't get to the books in the fireside room because I procrastinated, but I'll have a whole day to tackle them tomorrow because of the rain and I don't have to leave until 6pm to take Justin to his small group. They have to arrive extra early so they can surprise Will for the baby shower part. I had a chiropractor appointment, thank goodness, because I really, really needed it. I can always tell when it's time to go because my neck won't go back into the right place and the muscle knots are huge. And soon as he got some of those knots undone in my shoulders and head, the headache I had been nursing all day has subsided for the most part. Then I did the grocery shopping by myself, which was fine for the most part. I got home and the kids had everything ready so that was good. I started barking orders and that was not good. Jared had come home with a headache, so thing quickly spiraled. I had my feelings hurt by some things Jared did and did not say in the last 24 hours so I did not sit down to eat supper with them (pizza and salad). Keturah really like the chicken, bacon, and ranch (instead of pizza sauce) that I got her. Then Jared and Abishai played video games and I wasted more time wallowing in a pity party. And that's that. The house is clean and stocked. The paperwork is ok. The outdoors is ready for summer. I guess we are doing ok. I need to make room in my room to have fun this summer and don't get too absorbed into my own stuff. Justin and Keturah played well with Abishai today and they were outside a lot, so that's a positive for today.

Why do I still need reminded of this? Because I'm such a "Martha" and need to do the household chores first. But may I take the time to put the kids' activities fristl

The official announcement of the special concert and video and audio recording of the concert I (and hopefully Jared will go in 41 days! Woot! Woot!

Big brother got the first shift of swing pushing for little guy.

This is how you fill a pool if you want filtered and somewhat warm water in it. We have to hook up the hose to the faucet in the kitchen sink. Pretty simple and it didn't take that long to fill. No, we don't dump the whole thing and start again. It's its' 3rd season and it's holding up pretty well.

First brave souls entertaining the pool on June 1st, the unofficial start of summer!

I had the warm water on, so they warmed up by spraying each other with the hose.

Not quite pool weather now, is it?

Too cold, buddy? Yess!

Time to change and warm up!

Everything is ready to go. Ready for summer!

Her hair is sweeping the ground. She took a shower after this, for sure.

Mrs. Procrastinator was at her best again today, not starting until 11:45am on her projects. SMH What's wrong with me? I just can't get myself off my phone, that's the problem. But whatever, it's summer. I get done what I get done. I am who I am. I did eat a bigger breakfast, and I did drink my coffee at 11am so that helped a lot. I didn't eat lunch until 3pm because I worked for a good 2 hrs (slowly) on the rest of the books in the fireside room, asking Abishai if he would use this or that book or thing. We cut down on the art books he would use and the library books he wanted to read. So now we only have about a dozen library books check out. Woot! Woot! And we have about a dozen preschool workbooks to give away! Woot! Woot! I have a bunch of them I will save, too. And I actually have less than I thought I did and I do remember going through them before we packaged them up from Canada or when we got here or whatever. We put away the pile of misc. books as well. They only thing I didn't rummage through was the Mystery of History booklists and my Mom binders with the attendance sheets and what not. I probably should have at least taken those out. I can do that tomorrow. But I'll rummage through those again when I set them up for next year. No biggie. Now I have a pile of books to put away and then I'll go back into my corner behind my desk and bring out more of the stuff we could use and sort it, etc. That will be pretty much the last step on the books, so that's a good deal of that done. Most homeschool moms might get that done in a day or two, but I'm happy to get it done over a few days at my own pace. I also used toilet bowl cleaner to get out an iron stain in the little bathroom sink. Woot! Woot! And I got the rest of the bits of soap from that bar of soap out of there as well. We ate up leftovers for dinner. I dropped Justin off really early for his surprise baby shower/small group, where the father of the baby didn't even show up! Whoops! The baby was actually born today! So they just zoomed or whatever. And who knows how they will get the wipes and diapers to the father's house, but that's not my problem. The piano bench area at the front of my house is nice and clean again, so I'm happy about that. And there's less library books, too, yeah! Slowly but surely I'm decluttering these areas.

So, I guess we got some things done today. Abishai whined all day for tablet. Keturah was caught with a bunch of clothes that needed to be put away. But she did make some sweet potato fries for Socks after watching someone make them for her dogs on a YouTube video. After I dropped Justin off at small group, I went up to the Southport Rd Aldi's because I had forgotten a few things yesterday and saw that they were remodeling, which is good because they are the smallest Aldis in the area, and then had just enough time to drop those things back home before getting to my Bible study, or so I thought. I walked over to Raquel's, but the doors weren't open. I texted the women and they said they had moved Bible study to Thursday, probably because Adrienne went with Jim to TN today, according to Jared. Well, they must have made that decision last week when I wasn't there and had forgotten to tell me. Whoops. How embarrassing. So I walked back home, very unhappy. Ok, I cried. Jared consoled me. And I'll leave at that. I feel better now. I needed that cry. 

I've got a few tasks left to do, and I need to need some supper because I've been out of whack with food. I think the diuretic medication is suppressing my appetite but then I'm ravenous when it wears off and I don't know what to eat because I'm too hungry and impatient! I'm volunteering to help out another state organization with their online conference partly because that's where I belong. I'm trying to finish up this online health freedom summit thing from back in February and today's hour long talk was on homeschooling. And I found myself, once again, in my happy place, nodding my head, having even more words say, reading the comments, and encouraging people. So I knew when I saw this email about volunteering that I needed to help. I need to feel useful in the arena God has given to me. Uh, yes, I still have my own things to work on here in June, too. That list of groups, for example, and I'll get to them. I signed up for two blocks of 4 hrs of helping out. Pretty easy to do I think. Maybe I'll even get Grandma to help out and babysit during those times. It's next right, so right before Jared's surgery. Don't get me started on that. Maybe that's why I'm a bit emotional.

I haven't thought much about the surgery, but the little that I have, well, it's back surgery. It is scary. I don't know what the recovery will be like. I am scared. If it doesn't go well, it could screw up a ton of other things later in June and in July, including the trip to Tennessee and our anniversary, and both are extremely important to me and yes having things happen on the actual days is just as important to me as this back surgery so judge me all you want to. There's a lot of anxiety surrounding the next couple of months. And I don't have anyone to talk to about it. I'm kind of on hold right now. I don't want to go too far or make any more permanent plans. The kids have CIY and all that, but I don't have to go further than taking them to the church or 45 minutes to Trafalgar.  Sigh. Anxiety is starting to overwhelm me. Thus anything can trigger me. The cumulative effect of little slights can cause an avalanche of emotions. And I hate being that way. But it's the truth. And if you can't handle it, leave the room. I can't handle it either. But it's who I am.

And, after geeking out over a science textbook for elementary kids, I have realized once again, I am proud to be an eclectic geekiest nerd who can't do my hair and doesn't know which lotion goes where on her body and honestly, doesn't care one hoot about wrinkles or freckles or laugh lines. I want to know about how chemistry came about ok? What was that tool used for? How does that work? Woah, how old is that fenceline? What is that cloth made of? How did people go to the bathroom in that dress? Give me that algebraic equation, I want to solve it. Physics, that's easy! Let me just go over here with my pile of books and leave me alone. I'm good. No one has to see that I never use nail polish and that I don't wash my face at night or I haven't washed my hair in days. I'm good. I'm happy with my scientists, thank you. Let's talk about the Constitution and the Founding Fathers. How did people perform surgery in 1860? 1660? How was pharmaceuticals developed? Let's take a drive to Eli Lilly's childhood home and find out! It's just up the road from us! Anyway, I'd much rather talk about those things than what color flooring to put in a house or crown molding or what features does the fridge have or how does a drawer slide in or out or type of furniture makes the room look bigger or smaller or what shade of gray to paint the room to make it look more modern. Or what SUV makes you look more successful. Or which Nascar driver is the best. Or IndyCar driver for that matter (although right now, it's obviously Helio Castroneves). 

Anyway, I'm about to go to my happy place and make that purchase so I can preread it. But then again, I might be dreaming and reality will dictate I will never read it, but, who knows. It gives me joy to think that's what I like. I told Jared that I just want to be me. The geek. The nerd. And I want to please God with those skills (like IAHE) and please Jared and keep his household the best that I can aka clean and tidy and kids fed and educated and my relationship with him as pleasing as possible. The rest of life is icing on the cake. I told myself to be ruthless and not keep everything for grandkids. So, I got rid of things I knew I could easily repurchase like Abeka books that don't change that often, and kept the brand new preschool books I purchased for Abishai that we didn't use that I could still use has fun books say, if the kids came to Gramma's house and needed something to do, rather than thinking of it as their homeschooling books in case their parents decided not to homeschool. Now, I'm not planning on getting rid of the other grade level books yet. These books are my personal library. Maybe I will get rid of a piece of it here and there, again, if I know I can repurchase it, but like the Abeka readers will always be on my shelf because they never go out of style. Anyone can read them. I got rid of the actual curriculum ages ago. Now I kind of regret it. But I'm not going to repurchase them just to know what to write on a board for practice. Most of my stuff is generic enough that you find in a regular library and isn't actual curriculum. So, it's going to be kept. I'm all good. I still have 12 more years. And by then, I might have a better inkling if the curriculum pieces will be used by another generation or not. I'm happy with what we have. And I have to remind myself that my library serves a K-12 school. So of course it's a large library. My non homeschooling friends don't have books and bookshelves cluttering their same sized houses because they don't need to. Even my homeschooling friends who aren't committed long term just to purchase things for that year and then get rid of them, especially if it's just for one kid. I'm a long hauler. I'm a multi generational long hauler. My library is here to stay. Sorry, but not sorry. And it's my happy place. Put me in front of my bookshelves, just like my mom was, and I will go to town figuring and thinking and planning and organizing and fingering and imagining. Ah, great stuff.

Ok, now I do have to get off. I feel better now. I'm back to myself. To who I am. To who I am for my kids. God gave my kids ME. Weird and nerdy me. They, and Jared, are stuck with me. Ha ha! 

Little man didn't sleep well, so he had to be woken up. But once he was up, he was excited to put away his own snacks. He's such a good little organizer. I just let him go to town and he does his own thing. And then I clean up the boxes and put the rest of the other stuff away. It always feels good when the drawers are full and you know the kids can feed themselves.

Except when the kid with inattentive ADHD puts the empty container BACK where it was instead of IN the trash! Justin! Pay attention and take your medication EVERY DAY please!

Keturah was watching a show on YouTube about a woman who owns Huskies and makes special treats for them. She shows you the recipes and how to make them. So Keturah wanted to make Socks sweet potato fries! She wrote down the recipe, got out the ingredients, cut the fries, turned on the oven, etc etc etc. and then cleaned up everything afterwards. Woot! Woot! And Socks LOVED them! He doesn't mind food that has sweet potato in it, so I'm not surprised. He doesn't like fruit and isn't a fan of other vegetables but he liked these! It's just coconut oil and cinnamon. And he'll take anything from Keturah's hand!  Well done, Keturah!

Humans can eat these, too!

And so it begins! No, Benaiah did NOT get a school loan yet, but here comes good old Sallie Mae asking if he wants a school loan. I remember her. I paid her off 10 years ago. No thanks.

Typical afternoon. Sleepy dog. Boys on screens.

Girl on screen reading a letter from her Aunt Stef.

It doesn't look like much, but there's no books under the coffee table. And if you put one of the black crates under the book table, there would be two less book piles in front of the china cabinet. Reorganized and ready for 1st grade!

Somewhere along the line of cleaning the toilet, some toilet bowl cleaner got in the sink, maybe when I was rinsing out the brush, and the cleaner bleached out some of the iron stain! So, I plugged the sink and doused it in the cleaner and let it sit for a few hours. I think scrubbed it with the toilet bowl brush and most of the stain was gone! Woot! Woot!

 

I'm such a slow starter. Gee whiz. But I got the transcript crash course done this afternoon. It ended up having very similar things to what I had done already but it was very good to see the tweaks and have her templates and such. I'll mess with it after I tackle the other things. I might ask her for the 15 minute zoom call that she offered to clarify something. We'll see. Abishai was in my face all day again because it was rainy or wet for most of the day again. Tomorrow is going to be super hot but we'll at least be at the park near a creek. They tried to go swimming but the water is still too cold. That will change quickly with the warmer weather. 

Otherwise, it was kind of the same old stuff. Kids whine for screen and sugar. I hem and haw until I finally get something done. Jared had Bible study, and the ladies were tired and busy so we didn't have Bible study tonight. I played piano instead, which was fun. I asked Abishai if he wanted me to play something for him, and he said, "Star Wars," and he wanted something that would be background music for battles. So I did the best I could but orchestral music transposed to just piano music kind of sucks and has a TON of accidental keys and I don't read those that well. I do much better when they are all in the same key, thank you, like regular classical music or pop music. But anyways, we did our best. I played and he swung his guns around. And then Daddy took him to the church to see a friend get baptized. 

And then right before bed, Abishai comes running into the sunroom saying, "Mom, I got a loose tooth!" You would have thought it was my first kid having his first loose tooth, I was so excited! I got a photo and a video and then he ran off to tell Keturah and Justin. Justin brushed him off. Keturah was excited for him. So we have that to look forward to tomorrow! Yeah! I was wondering when that was going to happen! What a surprise! On the eve of Benaiah's 19th birthday to boot!

19 years ago, Jared was getting read for work as a security guard (not TSA) at the airport and I was timing what I thought was Braxton Hicks contractions and eating Alaskan Halibut that he and his Dad had caught the summer previous. It was actually only 8pm Indiana time because we weren't part of Daylight Stupid Time at the time. He decided to go on to work and I would call the Ob. Well, they told me to come in to the hospital, so Gary took me to the hospital in record time (mind you, we lived less than 10 minutes away and I know the route extremely well now, lol) in the old full size white van. Jared had just clocked in so when it was official that I was staying, he was notified to come to the hospital. I think we arrived about 9:15pm and Benaiah was born at 12:07am. I did have an epidural. And Jared was there. The only other thing I remember from that day was a strong pain starting at something like 5:30am and getting up to go to the bathroom and then strong pains and slouching over the cart at Meijer on Southport Rd (this was before Target and Aldi and even Chick Fil A was built) because you guessed it, I was in labor and didn't know it. It wouldn't be the last time I was in labor and still walking around because it was way before my due date. With Keturah, I knew because he had stripped my membranes, and I was in lot of pain trying to use coupons on cereal at Walgreeens, and with Abishai, I couldn't keep walking up and down the bleachers at the ice rink. With Justin, we were so afraid of being too close to delivery that we went in too soon, lol. But anyway, yup. 19 years ago, Benaiah was born. Crazy, eh? 19 years. A lot of life has been lived in those 19 years and I still don't feel THAT old. But I am. I'm a month away from being 40. How on earth did that happen? So many stories. So many chapters. So many twists and turns in that novel. So many more to go I hope.

But on the eve of one child turning 19, the one with his first real 9a-5p job, the youngest is losing his first tooth. Crazy stuff. And that's all that I need to focus on. Sometimes, you have to look up and see the world beyond your four walls, just so you don't get stuck in the muck and mire. But when the muck and mire of the outside world gets to be too much, it's time to come home and count your blessings, too. Remember what's right in front of you. Be thankful for the good that is in the past, and not dwell on the bad. Look at how far we've come. Remember what we were when we were 19. And now he's 19. Remember how we fell in love at 17 and 19. And now look at those two crazy kids at 18 and 19. I know some think I like to dwell there or that I'm pushing something. I'm not. I'm just remembering those naive feelings. The hope of the future. The plans I had. What God probably thought of those plans. I'm just remembering them with fondness and with smiles. And giving them a wide berth and trying not to judge them. Let them figure out their path. I'm not giving them a time table. I'm just remembering how I felt at that stage. And they will either feel that way or they won't. I know just like in education, everybody's time table is different, but in general, especially in our circle of Christian friends, and their circle of Christian friends, the trend still is, sooner rather than later. Dating is still seen with an intention to marry, not just to sleep around and have fun. They've been brought up that way. And some of them will divorce. Some of them will separate and then come back to each other. And some of us, will stay the course. And many of them have been blessed with parents that have, praise the Lord. Intact families are rare. But in the families I look up to, they do exist in our generation and the next. That's all. And it brings me hope. And when I'm down and out and frustrated and overwhelmed. It helps me to remember the good things about my children. The awesome memories. The goofy moments. The wiggly teeth. And the not even being 21 and being in labor with my now 19 year old son who towers over me at twice my size who I thought would never get his head out of his rear. Who has done a ton of maturing just in the last year or two. I'm so proud. No, it's not his 18th birthday. It's not his 20th, or 21st. It's his 19th. But it's still his birthday. And he made me a mom. Forever. Something I knew I always would be. I just didn't know I would be one so soon in my life. Changed my life quite literally. I've never had a full time job after that like I had planned. I've never wanted one. I've got one. At home. Always. At home.

 

The scale actually said 160.0 but I've got the ugliest toes on the planet that you didn't need to see. But maybe I've lost some water weight or maybe I'm just hungry and haven't eaten much in the last couple of days. Either way, I'll take it.

I wasn't planning on tackling this so soon, but hey, it's a mini challenge week, so I'll learn what I can, and then put it aside and work on it later. Justin's transcript! Time to do some tweaking! Actually, I did fix a couple of things really quickly and wrote a couple of notes. I can view the videos later I think, too. And I saved the files that will help jog my memory. It's not far off from what I've already figured out so far. But now I understand weighted vs. unweighted GPA. Sweet!

Abishai's friends slept all day in Daddy's chair so that after Abishai goes to bed tonight, they can come party with me!

Big 6 yr old using a steak knife!

And how can the 6 yr old fit so much in his mouth at once?

It's still wicked cold. They lasted 20 minutes.

It's his first wiggly tooth! Yeah! It's time! I am so excited I nearly squealed! I had thought about it a few weeks ago, but this took me by surprise! It's one of those last "firsts" of the last kid! As well as ordered the last "first grade" books like I did last night. Yeah! I'm glad I was so excited for his sake, too, especially after I got tired of him being in my face all day today. I gave him lots of cuddles but he was just bored all day and I didn't want to do anything like get out projects to do with him, so, yup, it was a boring day. Big boy is going to have the tooth fairy visit soon!

The End