The J6 Journey: Year 6, June 4th-6th, 2021: Benaiah's 19th Birthday Weekend!

How does it feel to have a 19 year old? Surreal? Yup. Very much so. But it's been a very good day. The busiest so far in the last few weeks. It feels great to be busy, but I know I'm going to feel utterly exhausted tomorrow. I had to make a phone call this morning and prepare for Benaiah's birthday dinner. Then we had to meet not just our usual group, but one of the other groups at the same park, but different areas of the park. It was a bit confusing at first, and I got embarrassed but we trudged on and somehow managed not to cry. And then it was back home to finish making supper, have supper with Benaiah, get Abishai to Karate, have a short Zoom meeting, clean up the house, drive Keturah back to her friend's house (Jared had picked her up from the lemonade stand fundraiser she was at for the day with her small group) for a sleepover so she could help with the lemonade stand again tomorrow, and THEN I could relax a bit before bedtime. And all the while keep up with email, video games, capture the day on film, and remember my meds, use the bathroom a million times, and nurse a headache. I think it's caused by one of the new meds because it's very persistent no matter what the weather conditions are or how much water I drink. So, I think I'll be calling the doctor next week to see if I should go off of one of them or what. I think I will journal most of today's stuff with the photos.

The only thing I don't have photos for is that Abishai got to be part of a special pyramid thing at karate because Miss Tess wanted some new photos for the studio's website and Facebook page. She wanted to demonstrate that they have a lot of fun and it's not all about kicks and punches and learning to be violent. You see, her and her husband are trying to adopt a sibling group from overseas and they want to put their best foot forward in that process. And all of us were like, absolutely! We'll all take photos of our Grasshoppers having fun and you can share photos of our kids! They are some of the sweetest studio/business owners I've known. We've been very fortunate that most of the gyms/studios/programs that we've used for the kids over the years have had really great leaders in them that really care about all the kids and not just scoring goals or developing the star players. This is why I prefer to support small, local owners, which usually are cheaper, yes, and you get to know them well, and they are a bit more flexible, and because they are, you want to do your best by them even more so because you know this is their livelihood and they are giving it their all. I'm so glad we choose this studio. Nothing warms my heart more than helping someone else adopt children.

You can always send online donations, but they will be at the Wolf Run subdivision next week!

Somehow Keturah mentioned that Abishai should have a banana split and I'm not sure he really knew what it was. But he wanted it for breakfast. And, the mom guilt of not being able to do the typical summer activities like the splash pad with them yet is getting to me, so I said yes, sure, why stinkin' not! So, I happened to have an unopened jar of cherries and one banana left. Woot! Woot! I gave him tiny scoops of ice cream and "jimmies." We call them sprinkles in our house, but in NH we called them "jimmies."

And this is what was left. It's a good thing we are going to the park to play today! He's going to be bouncing off the walls!

He was in my face again alot this morning, so I let him play Minecraft. We are trying to get him off the mindset of playing the bad guys on Battlefront all the time. But he wanted/needed me to read what some the "eggs" were so he could pick the right ones so he could hatch them into the creatures he wanted.

Absolutely! Anything to help anyone with adopting kids!

Don't let the brown water fool you. It was actually pretty clear and clean of debris because of the recent rains. The bottom is just pebbly. Not bad at all. Justin said it was pretty cold but he quickly got to the other side. The current was strong though. This is the creek at Southeastway Park in Indianapolis. I don't remember what it's called but it's pretty popular. The hiking trail along it has several points where you can down to the creek and get in, especially when it's this high.

The hiking trails and getting into the water was very treacherous. I fell once and Abishai fell multiple times. Thus his pants got very dirty.

Awww, a dragonfly! We did put on bugspray and there were those nasty biting mini bee looking things, but not too many mosquitos. It could have been way, way worse down there near the water. Really, it was perfectly hot, and the water was perfectly cool.

This part was just a tad too deep for Abisahi, so Justin had to help.

Look at those arm muscles on that boy!

My Mr. Tarzan coming through the jungle leaves!

I put my feet in and it felt so good! These shoes are my favorite for beaches and such but they have no tread on them anymore so they were NOT the best for hiking. See how clear the water is when it's not flowing. Not bad at all.

Very brave kid considering the flow of the water.

Oh boy, ladies, watch out. Here comes our good looking Tom Sawyer/Tarzan/movie star looking heartthrob. With a heart of gold, he's caught the attention of many young ladies over the years. And he knows it and he tries to be very careful and doesn't want to talk about it. I told him, it's ok. You don't have to be prudish about it. You're almost 16, dude. It's your turn. Just keeping being kind to them all. Take care of your body. You're doing well. He doesn't take his shirt off to show off, not at all. He just doesn't like the weight of a wet shirt. Benaiah usually kept his shirt on because he was embarrassed about his weight. Jared sometimes has, too.

Loads of pretty shells and rocks.

Buddy! Come back! I'm not swimming to get you!

Indiana shale?

Loads of maple trees! Actually, this is the park where they do the maple tree tapping in the winter to demonstrate maple syrup production.

Speaking of young ladies, just a few young ladies and young men hanging around talking. What are they talking about? Nerd stuff. No joke. I asked Justin. They talked about video games and Pokemon and things. He was so animated and excited about his nerd stuff, that it took me 10 minutes to call him over to me to tell him that we needed to make a decision about seeing our other group of people. Lol.

I finally slipped and fell. Not fun. And it was in front of everyone. So embarrassing. But I got up and brushed myself off and moved on.

Abishai had a blast looking at the trees and felt sorry for the ones that fell down. I showed him how you could see the reflections of the water bouncing off of this one.

Nerd alert.

Ok, time to change our clothes and see our other group at the top of the hill.

I quickly put together a couple of things to make Benaiah feel speical. I cleared all the clutter off the table and blew up balloons. We put Star Wars clone guys at each of the places.

Ah, my $200 set of Elementary science books arrived! Sweet! I can't wait to read through them myself! Science, chronologically, starting with Creation! Just like how I arranged my science shelves! Just like how our history books present some of the major scientists, but even more so! And TONS that I don't know! Eek! 6 books for K-6. Go at your own pace. Water it down a little bit for the younger ones, but lots of other ways and questions for the older kids. I LOVE these kinds of curriculum that are so customizable and can be used with a variety of ages. Knowledge is knowledge. It doesn't have to be taught in a certain grade or in a certain scope and sequence. I prefer chronological because it puts the pieces together with cause and effect. We can't have this piece of science without this other piece of science happening first. It just makes sense to me, personally. It's easier to connect things. And I think it's easier to study everything together from the same time period, history, science, art, Bible/Church history, because life is interconnected. One thing affects another. Segregating life into subjects is just not natural. So, I'm super excited about this. I can't wait to read this and use it in depth with Abishai. I can't wait to have Keturah read through it in it's entirety. I want Justin to read at least the last book in this series, maybe the last two, because after we get through Galileo in our history book, we hit on a couple of other scientists, but it's hit and miss after that. And there's so much advancement since then. And I know he loves space stuff and there's a chapter on germ theory and vaccines and I think that's so relevant, even thought he's been through Dr. Wile's biology course now. Anyway, I'm excited. I just need to choose to read it, say in the morning when I'm waking up and don't want to do anything else yet. Or in the afternoon when I'm hot and sweaty and need to sit still for a bit. I just need to read it in little chunks. I can do it!

Birthday dinner for Benaiah was Jared's idea since Ava was going to be preoccupied at a friend's open house. Jared took it upon himself to get a beef brisket and marinate it for 24 hrs and then cook it on low in the crockpot for 24 hrs. It did not come out as tender as Jim's and the kids don't actually like it. I think it's flavorful, but it is very dry. I don't think he added any water to it, which is why it's so dry. And then I made rice and I happened to have corn on the cob (already shucked!) as a last minute side. Benaiah said he wanted a hot meal, and he got one!

I added the corn after I had planned to have cold salad and he said he wanted a hot meal. And then he didn't eat the corn! Goof! Jared asked, "Where's the dessert?" And I said, "Well, Benaiah's been turning down dessert at Grandma's house and I don't have time to make one so I didn't. But there's Girl Scout cookies in the pantry." Benaiah didn't need dessert. He and Ava had gone to Cheesecake Factory on Wednesday for his birthday, so he was fine. No big deal.

The J6

Well, I just happened to be on Benaiah's left side so I couldn't see his eyes through his incredibly thick, beautiful, wavy gorgeous luscious locks of hair, but I didn't mind. His Daddy had that kind of hair. Oh how I miss it! Grandpa thinks he should cut it much shorter for his new job and Benaiah said he won't and doesn't have to. I say, do what you want. I love that the boys have long hair. Enjoy it while it looks great. My side of the family had great hair. Use it well. We sang Happy Birthday to him. And then we argued about the color of his new shirt. Keturah was right. It's seafoam green, not teal.

Jared gave him the Lego set he designed himself using excel and the flat tiny bricks that makes it look like a painting. All customized. Kind of expensive. So cool! Jared didn't think Benaiah would like it. He had designed it with Justin in mind, but then felt bad because he didn't have anything else for Benaiah. I said, of course Benaiah would appreciate it. It's Lego and it's Clone Wars. He faithfully watched it and enjoyed it, too. And yes, Benaiah did like it. I can't wait to see the final project!

Abishai got his official baptism certificate in the mail! Woot! Woot! I choose this photo because I like how their heads are all sideways, lol. Now, where did I put the other kids' official baptism certificates? I have no idea! We've moved a few times since then!

Benaiah played a round of Battlefront with Justin while he waited for Ava to be done with the open house. Jared took Abishai to karate.

Just two teens on their phones. Benaiah found out that he would only get $50 for his Galaxy smart watch. He was not impressed. But he might sell it even tonight. He really wants a Nintendo Switch again because a new special Mario Bros triple game came out or something. Well, it's your money. Just so you know, you're now saving for a house, if you're not saving for college, and someday you will need to move out, you know. So, you can't always be buying video games and consoles. But whatever, you do you. He's fine. He knows. He started to give me hid actual financial budget and I was like, nope, I see you've thought about it. You're good. I don't need to know the details. I trust you. I'm just here to ask the questions to make sure you've asked yourself these questions. And you have. I'll have to handhold Justin more, but you've got it. Keep on going. And then you can help me with the others. He even figured out his own Marketplace insurance plan stuff. Smart child that he is. He still asked Jared if it was a good plan, so I'm grateful that he wants our advice, or at least double check. That's an awesome sign that we have a strong relationship. He's asking advice, and we are not offended if he chooses not to follow it. But he's making mostly wise choices. And his unwise choices aren't any worse than our current unwise choices so I can't point them out to him without first admitting to mine. So, yup, I'll just stay quiet over here thanks.

Now that's an interesting way to prop up a box fan, lol. When you are in a house full of boys......a Nerf gun serves many purposes......

Saturday was a more laid back day. Since we didn't have to get up early to take anyone anywhere, we snuggled in bed for a bit. Abishai was insistent on getting up though, the little bugger. Surely he was exhausted from the night before. Oh well. Onwards. I took a full shower including washing my hair, although it only been two days, because I still smelled like bug spray, gross! I listened to the Michael W. Smith Worship album since the live concert recording I'm going to be involved in is about a month away. I don't listen to it much because it was overplayed 20 years ago and some of the songs were "old" by the time he had recorded them. Good stuff, though. This time, I'm thinking he's using most of the songs, but with a symphony feel to them, and maybe Waymaker, or a couple of other ones from the other worship albums or something. Waymaker was the top song of the year yesterday at the KLove Fan Awards, so that's cool. His version of it, I mean. It's really his son in law's song. But anyway. Then it was nearly lunch time again. I did take Socks to go see Keturah at her small group's lemonade stand because she had been begging for him to come. I didn't get as big a reaction from her friends, but I think they were just all tired. I did end up just bringing her home after awhile, too. Her friend's mom said she had a good time on the sleepover and her and another of the quieter ones do talk, a LOT, in the right situations. The girls did stay up super late. No problem. That's the whole point of a sleepover.

Justin finished mowing the lawn. Abishai puttered around. Jared sprayed the whole yard for weeds. And more weeds. And more weeds. And then played some Battlefront with Abishai and gave him some lunch. Oh, and they also swam in the pool. And then it was naptime, aka screen time. Jared and I had naps, kids played on the screens as usual. Then it was leftovers for dinner. Jared went back outside to work in the yard. Keturah took a shower and got ready for her first time back in leading kids' worship tomorrow at church. Then Abishai had a bath. And now everyone is tucked into bed super early because everyone is exhausted. Laundry and dishes are being washed. And it's super quiet. The sun is still shining brightly on my computer at 8:37 pm because of daylight stupid time, so it makes ti hard to see which photos I want to load. Whoops. Today's won't be too bad, but I need to do yesterday's, too. I went to bed early last night so I didn't do last night's blog entry, imagine that. I also didn't do any paperwork like I was supposed to today. Ugh. But that nap felt mighty good!

Tomorrow, we have church, lunch at home, another birthday dinner with Benaiah and with Gary and Leah, and then parents' meeting for CIY. I didn't realize Keturah's CIY is two weeks from Monday! Jared's surgery date is a week from Monday and then the following Monday Keturah goes to her CIY, and then Abishai has his day camp and then Justin goes to his CIY two days later and then the month of June is over! See! Crazy! And this week is pretty full, too. July, we will hit the summer bucket list. Promise. Splash pads will see us soon. And so will the pools and water parks. I will get there this year. Promise!

The house were the girls slept over at was only a couple of streets over from where they did the lemonade stand, so they walked to it first thing in the morning. That particular subdivision/neighborhood was also having their neighborhood garage sale the past two days, that's why they picked this weekend. They will do the same lemonade stand in a different neighborhood with their neighborhood garage sale next weekend. It's perfect timing because we have open houses the following weekend and of course then CIY. These girls are now all 8th graders! Ah! And Keturah has been with them since 4th grade. I'm sure some of the girls have been together much longer than that. And some of them were probably with Keturah in the nursery and preschool rooms before we left for Keturah, like Bella Killebrew, but they wouldn't have remembered each other.

Puppy misses his sissy. Take me to see sissy! Ok, ok, I will!

Abishai, you have a spider on your swim googles! Oh, it's just Spiderman and Venom! Why they put them right on the lenses, I don't know. I would that annoying.

Now he looks like a pig. Good grief. But the rule is, you can't get in the pool without someone else outside at least watching you, so he had to wait for Daddy to be ready.

It's still very cold, but at least it's hot and sunny out!

Fun swirly games with Daddy.

I'm not shivering! I'm going to stay in until I really AM shivering! Give me 15 more minutes! Plus I'll give you some sweet twirly moves!

I've had to now resort to using all 4 rows of my pill tray again. With 6 prescriptions and a myriad of vitamin and other supplements, I can't keep track anymore and have to use my own cheat sheet to fill the tray. I've become more "high maintenance" than ever. For the record, I prefer to buy supplements that fix individual symptoms and issues or individual vitamin deficiencies, plus I asked the doctor if she thought this was way too much for my system and she didn't think so because I wasn't doubling up on type of medications. We are treating very specific things with very specific drugs and not treating side effects of drugs with other drugs. That being said, the last two that I've added haven't been as kind to me, so I'm not sure I'm going to stay on them. And one prescription is a short term one that I will take for another 4-7 months and then will hopefully be done with forever. But I've got stuff like Vitamin D, Iron, Magnesium, my Multivitamin, CBD oil, iodine, and black cohosh (for hot flashes). So, I guess that's not that unreasonable, right? It's just seems like it.

The whole Baskets for Benjamin started when Miss Alison and Mr. Justin lost Benjamin last year soon after birth. Some of these girls were on the KP worship team so they knew Miss Alison and wanted to do something for her and in honor of Benjamin. Well, it was Sarah Land and her mom Katie, mostly, and that's where this has all started. It's so sweet because pregnancy and infant loss is so hard.

Here's a closer pic of the group from today. Special girls. I can't believe how old and big they all are now. Growing up! And yes, Miss Alison is due to have another little one, a girl, here in a couple of weeks. So far, so good, for this little one. She also lot a little girl early on in the pregnancy, Hope, before she lost Benjamin. Miss Alison has been through a ton and yet, she has found comfort in God and has been a shining light in all of our Elementary kids' lives for many years. We just try to love on them as much as we can right now.

Oh. What a day. What a day. I need some processing time. It started off super well. I felt confident in the clothes I was wearing. But forgot to take a photo. Bummers. I totally looked fat, but not pregnant, so I was happy with that. I wore my new gray skirt for Aldis, which did ride up on my belly like when I was pregnant, but find, ok, whatever, a nice teal shirt, the skinny belt that fits ok in a couple of different positions that helps to define a waist so the belly doesn't look as round, but rather gives it some bulges and fat rolls, and a brown short sleeve overshirt with big buttons, oh and my brown slides again that don't have arch support but I love the color and they go with everything in the summer. Oh, the day did start off with a sad note that one of Jared's best friend's sister in laws is in the hospital in a coma with a head injury of some sort from falling off a parked truck tailgate. We knew her, too, and it's awful to think about. They won't know what's going on for a few more days when they attempt (I assume) to bring her out of the coma (I assume they induced the coma). Their oldest daughter is one year older than Benaiah. In an instant, your life can change so drastically. I can't even imagine right now. I don't want to. Church was fine. Sermon was good, I wrote lots of notes, but I wasn't quite sure what the overall point was though. I came away with three sort of related points but I wasn't sure what to do with them because it wasn't quite connected. I don't know. I got confused and need to look at my notes and this week's devos and maybe get a chance to talk with the Bible study women this week about them. Except that it sort of had to do with community and accountability and Rooted and culture and stuff, and yeah, I can only say so much about them when I'm with them. So, we'll see. It's going to be a busy week and weeks ahead and I'm already feeling overwhelmed because of the overload of the day.

I was able to get a phone number and email of a young lady for Justin that he wanted that he did Bible Bowl with, so that felt like a triumph. Now they can nerd out together with a mutual friend over their drawings and what not, lol. It's all cool. We parents are all in the know about each other. The advantage of doing Bible Bowl together, right? Abishai went to Grandma's 1st grade class today and did a great job. Justin had a great time helping his small group leader Ron Hittel and a friend of ours Rob Brake in the 2nd grade room. Abishai was still disappointed that Justin didn't want to be in 1st grade with him but I think he'll get over it. Keturah got to be on stage to do the moves for the songs and this was the first week that the kids got to do the songs in the KP big room since Covid started! Woot! Woot! So almost back to normal. We just need to get rid of those masks! What's it going to take? By the time they make a vaccine that is "kid safe" it will be flu season again and so it will be forced on them again and for all of us. I'm so going to start bucking the trend if that happens and say to my kids, um, no, you are not wearing the masks any longer. Just don't. Anyway. But we could freely go in and out of the hallway again after getting their sticker tags. No more temperature checks.

Then we went home for leftovers and screen time. I got the medicaid app thing done and tried to keep up with emails. I wanted to do more but ran out of time. The pre payment of taxes are due next week, so I should get that done soon. I just need to really stay motivated and on top of things, which leaves me very little time to process things and I'm afraid I'm not leaving enough time to be prepared for Jared's surgery, for CIY, for volunteering for IAHE stuff, and for the unexpected like what happened later today. After screen time, kids did chores, and then we forced Abishai back into play clothes and into the car so we could go to Grandma's for Benaiah's 3rd Birthday dinner. And to our surprise, Ava was there, too! And Benaiah had cleaned his car, his room, and his desk! Go, Benaiah! We had about an hour before we had to go to church for the CIY Mix/Move meeting for teens/parents so we ate and talked fast. Not my favorite way of doing things. I felt rushed. And yes, it was Benaiah's birthday, but it was all about Benaiah again. And because Gary had been gone for the weekend, he had things to share about that, but then was rattling off something about a Bible college program to Benaiah, again, and I didn't have time to explain to him that truly, it's ok, leave Benaiah alone. He doesn't need to go to Bible college, even full time online. Just stop. And next week we will all probably end of at Ella Spence's open house after church (or maybe we should have our meal and then go) and the week after that, well, we'll see, it's after Jared's surgery, and I'll be doing last minute CIY prep.

But as Gary was finishing up grilling, Benaiah dropped a bomb on us. I knew today's happy mood was too good to be true. Someone had told a manager that he had allegedly said certain swear words about another coworker which led to him sitting down with that coworker and working it out later on during that very shift and he thought everything was fine. So a manager pulled him aside before his shift on Saturday and told him he had been let go because it was just better if he didn't come in and work that day or his last week because they were afraid he was going to make a scene or something like that. I'm trying to be vague here in on purpose. The details don't matter. What has been done is done. But my son, who gave his life to that job, that store, for 3 solid years, has been let go, and not allowed to work his last week, which means he looses out on over 60 hrs of work. It's a good thing he doesn't have a family to support or have bills to pay yet. They said that they would still give him good references and if he needed a job, he's welcome to come back. He was allowed to step into the back for a few minutes and say goodbye to a few people. He had to wash his uniforms and take them back on Monday. I don't know whether I want to cry or be furious. I'm flabbergasted and hurt. I've never had much of a mother bear instinct but I'm developing one. After Jared's firing being mishandled in Canada, my claws come out pretty easily over just about anything. I've had to relearn when it's appropriate and when it's not appropriate. But boy, this just makes me furious. Absolutely furious. And of course, I had not time to process it because we had to eat, do birthday, listen to whatever about Benaiah's life plans, and then go talk about summer camp, and then try to put together everything else before the start of the week.

So, will I be sitting on the couch in a few hours eating chocolate and writhing in tears, probably. Because this is exactly the kind of unfairness I hate. I loathe this stuff. This stuff hurts the most. You tell yourself and your children to behave well, to be honest, and kind, and go above and beyond and work hard and you will succeed, here on earth and in heaven, and then this crap happens. So now what are you stuck with? Disappointment. An emptiness. Shock. A "what just happened?" "Shaking my head." How can people just do that to one another? How can people just be so cruel? Whether it be in divorce court or firing from a ministry position or going on one person's word over another's in a fast food restaurant? If I was a bolder person I would call up the owner myself and have a word with him. But I won't cross that boundary. Benaiah did open his mouth and say some things that were unkind, but they weren't swear words. And, he's already looking at the positives. But what a blow to his ego. What a blow to mine. They said he was "let go" and not "fired" but isn't that the same thing? How do you differentiate that on any employment record? I don't know. I was going to try to get food on his last day of work and everything in order to use the employee discount and put "Benaiah's Mom" on the order and make it a little joke. Maybe I'm just getting old and too emotional these days. I don't know. But this hurts me. Just how cruel do you have to be to "let go" your best team leader because he was complaining about a coworker being lazy when it's obvious to everyone else that that coworker is lazy and lots of people complain about lots of other people. Double standard. Ugh! It's not fair. It's such a cruel world.

And sure you can say, "At least he has a new job." Well, he wouldn't have put in his two week notice and we wouldn't have been having this conversation if he hadn't gotten another job." If he had been let go because of this infraction, there would be have been more discussion with higher ups. Someone just wanted to kick his butt out the door. He said, "Well, at least my mental health will improve this week." And he's not wrong. Jared had the same kind of attitude and sigh of relief after MCC fired him. Sometimes I forget how much a full time job can affect a man's mental health. I just didn't want it to end this way. I wanted him to work hard, and prove that he wasn't going to be a jerk on his way out. But, he did learn a valuable lesson. One slip of the tongue can screw things up. But wby? Why did we have to leave Canada on a bad note? Why did he have to leave high school on such a sour note with Covid and mentally taxing individuals? Why did he have to leave his first job with a bad taste in his mouth? Why couldn't it have been more bittersweet instead of "good riddance?" Of course, I'll never understand why. I'll just have to just add all of this to my long list of things to ask God about. And then when I'm having a bad day, bring it all up again with my mistrust. Of course my day had to include this. It always has to have some kind of crappy thing.

Nevermind that I discovered that whoops, I do have to pay my doctor's full fee price because it's not a low cost clinic. It's a regular clinic. And I haven't met my deductible. And I have an HSA plan with no co pay so I pay everything until I hit that deductible. I'm screwed. Because I need to see my PCP often. $167 at a time is a big chunk. So I have to call them tomorrow anywhere to discuss this medication issue, but now I need to figure out how I can reduce the cost or the frequency or just do telehealth/shorter appointments or something. I'm not a happy camper. I just want to rest and play video games, ok? And cry. And prepare for Jared's surgery. Jared thinks he's going to be up and walking around or something just because they say he needs to be up and walking around. Dude. You're not going to want to be up and walking around. He's expecting a miracle and I'm expecting the worst excrutiating after surgery pain and I have to do everything for a week kind of stuff. I'm as anxious as anxious can be and no one has time to listen to me about it. Let's just talk about everything else. Killing weeds. Benaiah's schooling. This is back surgery, people. This isn't just poke a little probe in there and suck out an organ that isn't working properly. This is his spinal cord we are putting instruments near. I'm scared to death of the worst scenarios. Scared to death. With no updated living wills and such, yeah, I'm anxious.

That's all I guess. It's 10:30pm. I should mention this crap to Jared and watch something else to cheer me up or distract me until it's chocolate and tears time.

Interesting quote found on a Poldark Facebook Fan page.

Dairy free whipped topping. I didn't have it on this yummy chocolate stuff Leah made last week, but it was ok in my coffee. It wasn't full of crap either. I had to remove the chocolate to another pan because I was sure Leah wanted her bread pan back. I have to be careful not to eat too much of the chocolate at once beause it has dairy in it.

Grandpa accidentally spilled Benaiah ice cream birthday cake on his new shirt! Whoops! Beaniah had an ice cream cake for his 1st birthday, too! From DQ! With balloons on it!