Year 4, January 1st-4th, 2018: Strong Start to the New Year

Yippie!  We started back to school on December 31st!  No more boredom, no more begging for TV time.  AND because Jared was home for the first two days, he could take Benaiah to work and watch Abishai so we could do our history, science, and Latin together.  Keturah and Justin dug in and we were very productive.  But we also had fun, too.  I told them we would try to get through what we could by 4 pm and then cut ourselves off and use the "loop schedule" if we had things that were left out.  All the kiddos stayed up until 1am New Years' Day, so we did sleep in until 10am and therefore the day was a bit shorter and mixed up as far as meals went.  We didn't eat dinner until 7pm because some of us didn't eat lunch until 3pm!  Yikes!  So on Wednesday, when Jared took Benaiah to his school to go sand chairs again (to help pay for prom) and then went back to work, we tried to get up earlier and hustle a little more.  Also, Grandma took the 3 kids to see Wreck It Ralph Breaks the Internet movie and I powered through some photo and video stuff.  We finished that day with Bible bowl practice, Benaiah practiced drums, and we went grocery shopping.  Phew!  Jared and Benaiah spent the whole day at church on Thursday, with Benaiah helping out Matt.

As far as it being the new year, well, I didn't think too long and hard about resolutions or goals for the year.  But, I've been unhappy with Abishai's crazy behavior, especially in situations outside the home.  I cannot physically handle a child like that, and at some point it ceases to be cute.  Yes, he has a big personality, and I don't want to be the one to squash that at all.  However, it is our duties as parents to teach him when it is appropriate to dance, have fun, and be loud and when it is not appropriate.  It's called self-control.  He's become quite the show off, bossy, demanding, and relentless.  Basically, he's become the one in charge and I don't like it.  So, there will be some form of discipline, for example, if he has asked for something and I answered him.  Same goes with the other two.  And Keturah has been manipulating Abishai and telling him to ask me for TV time or candy or whatever.  It's time to nip those things in the bud and a) have some manners, especially at the dinner table and b) quit with the bad talk and criticism.  I printed out some Scriptures for us to memorize and in some cases memorize again.  If we have to have one more discussion about what condiment is better, I am going to throw all the condiments out.  It's not a friendly banter either, they are critical of each other's opinions.  And where do they get this?  From me of course, and they don't recognize that I don't say 9 out of 10 things I'm thinking.

Children (and adults) have become very vocal in this generation and there is not respect for other people and especially older adults or adults in authority.  No, I don't want to say "children should be seen and not heard" because they do add to a conversation.  But again, it's about poise and knowing what conversation is appropriate and when.  I don't take too kindly to constant criticism, sarcasm, jesting, joking, belittling, condemning, etc.  And 90% of conversations in our household have some form of it, myself using criticism and condemnation a lot.  So I'm not off the hook here.  I don't know if I can sum all of this up in one word for the year like some do, but perhaps I will think of it later.  For the most part, we don't purposefully hurt each other physically (except when wrestling) but we do hurt each other with our words and tone of voice constantly.  And now that I'm back on anti anxiety medication, I have better self control and more patience to think about my speech and tone of voice before it comes out.  The extreme emotions have been dulled a bit and that helps me to focus on changing my behavior.

Oh, and one last thing.  My newest phrase this week to tell the kids is "just because you think it, doesn't mean you have to say it."  It goes along with the verse that says "take every thought captive."   There have been times where all 3 younger kids have said, "Ew, the bathroom stinks." to me after I've used it.  And honestly, yes, sometimes it does smell, but you don't have to make such a declaration to someone every time.  Would you say that to your friend or a homeless person?  No way!  So don't say that aloud at home either. We will be working on rephrasing our words and tone of voice.  For example, instead of declaring "it stinks!" you can say, "Mom, next time you use the bathroom, could you please put the fan on?"  Or, instead of saying, "Ew, you need a shower! (to one of their siblings)" say, to me, or to the sibling, gently and quietly "Keturah, I think you need a shower."  NOT "Why don't you ever take a shower!  Ew, you stink!"  (Ok, I know this is all about stinky people, BUT we've got two teens and one pre teen in the mix, so think about that for just one moment.  Yup, hormones.)

So, that's what I want to work on in 2019.  Relationships, but specifically our speech.  And with Abishai, calming down his behavior and teaching him when he can be crazy and when he can't be (like during a choir performance).  And for me, business wise, I'm going to try to post a video weekly and something else on one of the social media platforms at least every other day, rather it be a subtle hint or a big "come look at my flexi clips!"  We've got lots of things up ahead this year, like soon I will need to sit down and make a list of what books to look at for Justin's freshman year because the conference is in mid May.  Benaiah has SAT and ACT to take this spring, and his driver's license test.  He starts his senior year in the fall, and then we plan his graduation open house!  Keturah has open last choir performance this spring and joins middle school next fall.  We have a big vacation planned for Washington, DC and Virginia in July after the CIY trips.  Abishai's life is fairly calm because I won't start school with him until the fall of 2020, although, I'd like to sit down with him and do more coloring and cutting that I didn't do with the other kids as much and regret that I didn't do.  We have concerts like WinterJam and TobyMac to attend, as well as John Crist, the comedian.  Jared has a big trip to India with his dad and e2 in February.  Oh, and the biggest things of all is Gary's transition of ministry in April!  It's going to be one exciting year!  I'm feeling settled and ready to tackle on a few things with energy and boldness and am emotionally ready (I think).  So, 2019, the J6 is ready, are you ready for the J6 clan?  I hope so!

I think I posted these yesterday, but I wanted to share them again.  Not your tradtional mix of popcorn in a popcorn tin, but oh so yummy!  Especially the snickerdoodle!  I love peppermint, but I think it's because I know that this peppermint isn't as pure as the peppermint oil I use, it tastes fake to me.  They are all gluten free, but none are dairy free.

Baby boy crazies at 11pm waiting for the ball top drop!  Chase and Blankie are all ready, too!

He seemed to know exactly how to handle a REAL wine GLASS with flavored fizzy water in it.

Post midnight jitters and excitement.  He didn't understand why were were partying, but he loves to party, to there he goes!  Just a blur, which is probably what he'll be like the rest of his life.

Clinking glasses with Daddy.

Sweet little face drinking from a real cup.

Party on.

Abihai lives life charging through it!

Helping Daddy in the kitchen, watching water boil I think.

Jared got batteries for his drone remote and went outside to take it for a spin.  He launched it off the roof of the car and it did fine.  Got caught on a baby tree and almost landed in the ditch that had water in it, but it was fine.  Abishai chased it around for a bit.

Abishai with his friends at Pajama Jam last Sunday at church during the 11am service.  Cute stuff!

I realized that a) I hadn't been the one to sit by the tub while Abishai had a bath in a really long time and b) it's been even longer since I took pictures of videos of him in it.  Gotta capture those "last time they...." moments!  Although YouTube did NOT like my half naked baby and put a strike on my YouTube account because it was the third time they caught me loading a video of Abishai in underwear or like this, half naked.  Grrrr.....oh well.  I'll keep it to myself then . And I even told myself NOT to load these videos!  I'm such a dummy!  The strike should be gone in 3 months and I don't know if it affects what I can load or not.  We'll see.  I'm glad that they are keeping an eye on things though.

Gotta clean out the iCloud because I'm not paying for more!

At least the kids know where to put their broken things for Mommy to repair.  Socks with holes, a flashlight that needs new batteries, a torn CFA toy and a new watch that needs to be set properly.  And THIS is why my desk is so cluttered!  Don't worry, 3 out of 4 things were taken care that evening because I was caught up on other things on my desk.  First in, first out, lol.

 Thursday was an ok day, with a little bit slower mama and a little bit slower children.  The dog wanted to go in and out all day, and Abishai decided to be extra into everything.  Keturah had a slight attitude and I think Justin left his brain at Bible Bowl last night.  But all in all, we've done a pretty heavy school week with relative ease.  I'm exhausted and hurting, which could be the weather or could be pushing myself too hard or could be not sleeping enough because I stay up too late.  I'm just "done" with the week already.  One more day and then Jared can take over for a couple of days.  But then the rest of the normal activities start up again.  Oh joy.  I just need to sleep!

We bought this wheelie cart for basketballs and outdoor toys for the garage but Abishai insists it's his new garbage bin toy.  Keturah suggested the name but it does fit the type of box it is.  If they have another one left next week, I'll grab one more for the recycling and replace my very dirty laundry basket that holds a a few pieces of recycling.  Score!

Where'd he go?

I'm impressed that Aldi's made a liquid gravy mix with just rice flour and NOT wheat flour.  It wasn't labeled GF but it looks compliant!

The memories of childhood.  I think Leah would have a cow if she saw her old couch looking like this.  But what we see is memories and fun.  Keturah and Abishai hung out under there for at least 30 minutes!  And Justin help build it.  A ton of cooperation went into it and no input from us.  Yes!

"Look, Mom, even the stuffed animals are talking to each other!" - Justin

Justin's tent is behind the couch in the space between it and the wall, which is pretty large.  We could use another lamp in here because it's always so dark!

Couch cushion fort!

Daddy capture this sweet face!

From Jared's point of view!

Gotcha!

Reading with Daddy.

"Daddy's whose this guy? And this guy? And this guy?"

Now they have tents!

Friday I woke up still in a fibromyalgia flare.  I'm not sure what's going on, it's probably my poor sleep habits which are all my fault.  But something has weakened me and I have no stamina.  I'm not sick with a cold or anything, and it could be just a change in the weather, which honestly hasn't changed much.  Change in weather pressure though can affect things.  Who knows.  It hasn't been a stressful week or anything.  In fact, it was a very successful week.  Although I'm on the "warpath" about a few behvioral changes and there are some things I want to personally try to tackle this year, I think I was firm but not overly angry or upset.  We have been home most of the week and the kids have been inside most of that time, so it's getting a little harder to keep them from wrecking the house.  In fact, they did just that with the couch cushions again today.  But they were working together and having a blast and I was in a totally different room working on the clouds section of my puzzle, so all was well.  That's when you know I've had a successful week: I can spend an hour or so on a puzzle and not be stressed about my to do list!  I think this week has been the best "get back to the school work and routine" week we have ever had.  I think having a lighter December, having more fun, me being on a new anti anxiety medication as all helped with that.  I worked on my puzzle and stayed at home and quiet because I wanted to tackle the fake wood floors tonight and show the kids how to do it.  That means I had to thoroughly vacuum first.  That takes a lot of energy to do both, but we got it done and now they can help me if I feel like it needs done.  Actually washing the floor is not something we do very often.  We vacuum but not mop.  But because the dog keeps tracking in chunks of grass and mud (the temps are in the 40's so not full on mud, but just moist enough to make a mess), the floor near the back door especially, was filthy.

Anyway, the kids have some leftover homework for the weekend to do at their leisure, Keturah has a basketball game, Benaiah has work (and he's feeling pretty sick), Jared is going to a funeral of a wife of one of his professors back in college and both husband and wife are/were coaches for a Bible Bowl team, and Abishai will have a playdate with Grandma.  Grandpa is out of town, which begins the spring traveling schedule.  And all other activities begin again starting this Sunday.  Fun times!

Baby or big boy with that PS4 controller, picking out videos on Amazon Prime Video.  That's risky business because he could easily purchase something!  Don't worry, we took back the remote.  I would like to get him more interested in full length movies so we didn't have to start a new video every 15 minutes.  We have so many great ones on our shelves!

Where'd he go?  Watch the video of me pretending he's a (creepy because he doesn't want me to lift the lid) Jack in the Box!

It's not a slingshot or bow, it's a SCREENSHOT! (Check out video of him saying it below).

He wanted to help me with my puzzle, but I didn't know where each piece would go, so it was hard to think ahead and tell him.  Instead, he played on the done part of the puzzle with his cars, sometimes blocking my way to try out pieces.  I had tried to do the rocks at the bottom, but it was taking forever and the light isn't very good.  I might have to get out my new ring light.  I got the clouds done because I did the mostly dark sky pieces first, and I could tell where the general lines of clouds were.  I'm pretty happy that that part is done!

I made Justin take back books to the library after having them checked out for over 6 months.  Plus I made him take our books back to the shelf in his room, thus freeing up this little area behind the couch.  Perfect for Abishai to perch on.  This is his new "I'm smiling" (aka smirking) face.  Next time you see him, ask him to give you the "cutie" eyes.  "Cutie eyes are good, Mommy!"  Oh yes, he does make us melt sometimes, but not always.  We do still have some boundaries.  Well, except when I buy the rest of the cutie eye plush Paw Patrol animals I will give to him one by one over the next few weeks until his birthday.  Never before have I bought 8, $7 animals to make a whole collection before.  But he loves having his stuffed animal friends and this way he can sleep with them.  I know it won't last, but who knows.  We still have Buzz Lightyear, Woody, Bullseye, and Jesse from Toy Story that we bought from the Disney Store over 10 years ago and Abishai likes them and sleeps with them sometimes.  You just never know.

The last Christmas present arrived today: Justin's preordered Overwatch Lego set!  We are now, more than ever, official Lego fanatics.  First of all, we now own a Lego Ideas set that came in a fancy box.  We own I think 6 or more $100 or more Lego sets that are still intact as intended.  And now we've actually been ahead of the game and preordered one set of a new long awaited series of sets from the video game Overwatch.  Justin officially got 3 Lego sets for Christmas!  This one is only a little set, originally $20 but when it shipped, it was only $16.  Yeah!!  And this one only took 15 minutes to build, lol!  We love our Lego!