Year 4, February 4th-7th, 2019: Is it Tuesday the 12th, yet?

We are only on Day 2 of Jared being gone as I write this and I'm already exhausted mentally and emotionally.  Just trying to keep up with transporting Benaiah, or arranging for someone else to do it, is overwhelming.  Plus I just discovered I had forgotten to add my nightly anti anxiety pill to my medicine tray, so I've missed it for two nights.  Whoops.  I might just have to take some time off of school next week to deal with Jared coming home, a Valentine's Day party at gym day on Friday, and Abishai's birthday party on Saturday.  Let's put it this way, our Christmas tree is still up and the Christmas ornaments are still on it.  Yeah, I know, I just haven't taken the time to take care of it.  I can blame some of that wasted time on that new phone game that Justin and I were both on but now he's not doing it.  Yeah, it's a stupid excuse.  So tomorrow (Wednesday), I'm restricting myself to playing it during breakfast (8-9am), lunch (12-1 or 1-2), and after school/before dinner prep (4-5) and then as much as I want as I do other things after 9pm.  That's still a lot and I let the ads play while I do something else like pour water for my tea or help Abishai put his underwear back on.  It's just dumb, I know.  But it's all about efficiency and I love POM, or product operations management!

But there's a lot of real world logistics going on, too.  And staying on top of it when I'm used to slacking off is not easy.  I feel like I'm running at full tilt and not getting enough done and I'm going to burn out way before Jared gets home.  We have lots of time at home, but I have lots to do at home.  Justin and I have a local concert on Sunday, and I don't have to totally exhaust myself for it, but it will still be a full day.  I might end of crashing after Keturah's basketball game on Saturday.  And dropping some schoolwork the next week.  Something will have to give.  So, I was pretty short with Jared when he didn't get up on time to talk to us this evening.  (story about Ajai and Jared, and monies for conference, too and how Gary will tell those stories, and Jared and I are all about logistics and kids, never the testimonials from the work they do).

So much rain this week.  Time to get the mail!

Daddy found these in CVS when he was looking for foot powder!  No, he didn't get them.  But that's when he got the police car for Abisahi.  #spoiledbaby  Actually, if you think about it, Grandson #1 started out very spoiled, then there's the middle 4, and now we've spoiled Grandson #3.  I love our bookends.  Teens and toddlers.  Try it some time if you want to grow in your relationship with God, lol!

Little plane to Newark, NJ, from Indianapolis, IN.

BIG plane for the 14 hr flight.  A Boeing777 from 2002.  9 seats across, two aisles, one meal served early on in the flight.  Jared did not sleep well.

Air Canada! Obviously that's not Jared's plane though.  It was an international flight to the east, and it was going over the north pole.

"The Terminator Line - how sunset/twilight always looks at alitude" - Jared

"North Shore of Caspian" - Jared (Keturah knew where it was!)

"Random snowscapes near Russia/Ukraine." - Jared

"Line might be new border attempts for Russia/Ukraine." - Jared

"Sun*rise* northeast of Scotland." - Jared

"(After this picture), LOTS of cloud cover - 0 visibility over desert *stans, Europe, Atlantic." - Jared

The video above Jared said is "the spool up of the best engines in aviation."  I think my man is just a bit obsessed with engines and airplanes, lol.

Oh, I totally forgot I could tell the time differences by setting it in my phone.  Gotcha.

Very pleasant weather they are having.  That's the advantage of going in February and not in the summer where I bet it gets to 100 degrees F and more!

Short flight, although they fly over Damoh and have to backtrack a couple of hours. They did sleep in a hotel in Delhi before this flight.

Interesting prop plane.

Airport in Delhi or

Nice showers in the guest rooms.  Like MCC in Chralottetown, the classrooms and guest rooms are in the same building.  The mission has several "schools" like a nursing school.

Car ride from ____ to Damoh.  Mountains and bikes for transportation.  Crowded and poor.

Wow

Roads look ok.  Different shubbery of course.

This part doesn't loko much different than here.  Electric tower in a field.

He let me make him eggy toast, but said the egg was too hard.  I didn't burn the toast though!

Any chance of being on any sort of electronic, they'll take.  Abishai is able to do more on this mini computer with games than he has before though.

Shubbery outside Jared's window at the dorm.  They do have air conditioning if needed.

Sweet baby drifted off to sleep.

Wednesday was go, go, go time.  We skipped read alouds and history time, so Keturah actually did finish before we had to leave to pick up some horse stuff for her from someone in our homeschool group.  Then it was back home for dinner and then get Justin to Bible Bowl and Keturah to basketball.  Abishai and I came home and puttered and then picked up the kids again.  Grandma handled Benaiah's back and forth today, as well as Lisa Strunk to the boys' small group (which is the normal.)  And in the middle of all that, Grandma got haircuts for both of the oldest boys.

Now I have something to show off when they win the Super Bowl again next year!

One of my favorite books!  I think I left it out of the Christmas box on purpose.  "What Snowmen Do At Night!"

I won't let you see your phone, Mom.

It's a Kiwi bird!  From New Zealand and the Maori people that we learned about in our history studies.

Jared sharing practical tips about elders.  I love how they call him "brother."

Proud Dad Gary took these photos.

We did get to Daddy at the beginning of the day and at the end of the day.  For some reason, his phone has lost it's FaceTime icon, so we both downloaded Zoom, the app that the kids use for Grandpa class.  Depending on bandwidth that others are using, we can use just audio or with video, too.  This morning was rough because I was panicking that we wouldn't get any time to talk because Jared needed to write some material for his Thursday talks.  I got pretty mad at him, at technology, at time constraints, because we hadn't had time to talk the night before.  He didn't have much to share like Gary does because he needs more time to process it.  Gary tells stories, but doesn't give Leah travel details.  I demand travel details, talk about what we did and our schedule and how kids misbehaved, and Jared and I don't talk about stories or conversations he's had.  This is all a new relevation actually.  And I was a frustrated that he was so focused on needing to write (he's always behind on writing and work, always.  Gary might be but never talks about it.  He just gets it done).  And the kids were getting breakfast and in the way as I was trying to figure out the technology.  Jared's Tuesday was about visiting the many schools on CICM's campus, but he didn't tell me what those are.  I think there's an orphanage and a nursing school, from what I gathered on Google Earth.  Damoh is a small city like Manchester, NH, capital of it's area.  But there's no training on eldership in their Christian theology school.  So, Gary was putting together slides so that they can make a curriculum of sorts for those who couldn't make it because it became too costly.  600 people were supposed to attend this eldership conference Gary and Jared, and others, are putting on.  Only about 300 made it.

Otherwise, I'm just super busy and overwhelmed by the single parenting.  No breaks.  More transportation than I'm used to.  All the clean up and prep work.  I'm so exhausted and anxious and fearful.  Time to sleep.  We also told the kids that Shauna was going in for more tests on a biopsy she had done.  That's why she couldn't come up to work on her mother's house.  I can share more late what that's all about it, but it's playing heavily into my emotional state.  Once they have answers, I'll get permission to share what's going on.  But please pray for them during this time.  Thanks.

Thursday went fairly smoothly.  We got all our schoolwork done, which means we get to go play at the gym tomorrow with our friends AND don't have catching up to do on Saturday, yeah!  But I'm telling ya, this whole transporting the teen around thing is super annoying.  Granmda is doing 95% of it, and thankfully, all the early morning runs, but still, so much time "wasted" or is it?  Actually, it isn't because Benaiah will talk in the car with me and I learn so much for him.  Sometime we end up in a fight before we get home, but lately, there's someone special he wants to talk about.  Yes, we have reached that milestone!  Benaiah is officially dating Ava Thompson (from church and school).  We fully approved and it's been the sweetest 1 1/2 weeks since he asked her out.  She just turned 16 and is a sophomore, but in a few of Benaiah's classes. Her parents, Brian and Amy, and her brother Grady (Justin's age) have been going to Indian Creek for years.  They even homeschooled the kids at one point.  And Amy babysit our older boys (maybe Keturah, too) one time when they were younger.

A love bug hat he made in Sunday School!

When it's cold outside and you have no where to go, you make a blankie and cushion fort.  It's a good thing we own three couches!

Sweet! Perfect for my Lilla Rose business!

The backyard is super flooded again!  Leah said the roads were covered in water and you couldn't see the potholes until it was too late.  I drove the major, well lit roads after that.

The front was very full, too.

Oodles of puddles in the flower bed.

Don't judge.  I finally got the ornaments off the tree and packed away.  It took me nearly an hour.  Now we are ready for a birthday party!

Great costume!  Now you are a wall advent calendar!  We used it to count down the day of January as well as December.  But that's the last of the Christmas stuff.

Abishai wanted to watch with me, so we watched a short ted ed talk about Mt. Everest.

This kid does do more than just elctronics.  But he has found new interest in the Lego/Duplo games.  He found Batman and he says boo-ya!

Another long line of storms and sharing our weather with New Orleans AND New Hampshire!

Dreaming about the future sets he wants.

They only way Abishai was going to sleep was if I put him in the van and took him with me to get Benaiah home from his drum practice at Shelby Street. 

Yes, I'm going to tell the story, because it's a big milestone for all of us.  We are excited and welcome this part of growing up.  Dating and courting are not somethings to fear.  Thankfully, Ava's parents are cautious and we've texted numerous times back and forth making sure everything is on the up and up.  Unfortunately, Ethan had been part of the mix, because he liked Ava.  He's been struggling at school, too, and we all feel bad that Benaiah "stole" Ava from him.  However, Ethan and Benaiah don't hold it against each other, so they are fine.  So, Ava and Benaiah have so far been on a group date to a movie, and we plan to double date them on Valentine's Day.  Not because we want to hinder their relationship, but just as guardrails to keep them going in the right direction.  And both are very accepting of that.  Benaiah frequently checks in with Ava's mom and asks if he can take Ava to the movies.  Benaiah is all about going as slow as Ava wants, too.  A little footsie here, and a little hand holding there.  They aren't allowed to do anything like that at school though.  There's strict policies against PDA because of other drama between students.  And they are being watched at youth group, too.  In fact, Benaiah and I feel like sometimes others at church hold him to a higher standard than his peers because of his connections.  And thankfully, Ava is well aware of that, accepts it, and takes it seriously as well.  But you should see the smile on Benaiah's face and the bounce in his step.  It's the cutest thing!  And he already has plans to spoil her on Valentine's Day.

Now, we all realize this could be short or long lived, so it's just one day at a time.  However, I believe, that if it were to end, we embrace it and not forget it.  I have a two page spread in one of our scrapbooks of a youth group event and Jared's brother Aaron was dating a different girl than Shauna, so there's a picture of them in there.  Am I going to take it out of the scrapbook just because he married Shauna?  No, just like I wouldn't take the pictures of Jared's previous two girlfriends (who each last 3 months in a romantic relationship with him) out of his scrapbook.  It's just history.  And I write down the family history.  And I just find this so fascinating and exciting!  I guess I've been dreaming about this era of our children's growing up since I was in it.  I knew exactly what the "rules" would be and how I'd like to handle it.  And because I've talked about some of the parameters over the years, and I made Benaiah read "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Josh McDowell, he's known where I stand on it.  The book basically is about courtship and don't kiss until your wedding day.  It's pretty strict, but at the same time, a great place to start when keeping boundaries and saving yourself for marriage.  I know it helped us to stay within the boundaries.  If we had started in the middle of the dating spectrum, I think we would have ended up further on the side we didn't want to be.

So, anyway, it's awesome and a joy for us to see this unfold.  And I actually asked Amy, Ava's mom, early last school year if Ava was sweet on Benaiah.  Amy said no.  Ava is pretty quiet, but I do have her on my Instagram and she seems to like the same things that Benaiah and I do, like the tv show "When Calls the Heart" on the Hallmark channel.  So, Benaiah is a very awesome place right now with balancing work, school, church, a relationship, etc.  His grades have slipped a bit since he started working and I'm not fond of that, but he has it all figured out and is ok with it.  After having a major fight about it before Jared left for India, I decided to just accept it and move on.  He's going to end up paying more for college, but that's on him.  He will have 39 out of 40 credits he must have by the end of this school year.  That means, technically, he has just one more credit to get his core 40 and get a diploma.  However, he will fill his time going for Honors and take a few more things like college classes, hopefully.  Oh, he finally posted the announcement of having a girlfriend on Instagram today and got all kinds of comments (see below).  But he also got some in person from people at the Shelby St. worship practice tonight as well.  Lots of thumbs up and "wow, you're old enough to date now?" Those comments made his evening.  And I might not have heard all of that if I hadn't driven him home.  I wish he and Jared would talk more on their rides together, but Jared doesn't know what to say to him.  I am glad he opens up to one of us though.  Jared never did that with his parents.  I talked about Jared a lot to my mom, though.  Ah! Oh my word!  21 years ago this April, Jared and I made first contact.  I was 16 3/4 yrs old, and he was almost 19.  Benaiah is 16 1/2.  So, who knows! Ah!

Yup, that's the girl, Ava

Benaiah's friends are all funny!

Ok, back to reality land.  We did have a long conversation this morning with Jared as he was ending his day.  He said he went to an active Hindi temple and it was creepy.  All the food and trinkets left for the many statues.  Lots of poverty and people just lost spiritually.  It's so sad.  But Jared got to speak a couple of times sharing some practical things about elders, so that's exciting.  Again, proud Dad Gary took pictures and sent them to us.  It's not every day that father and son get to work side by side and share similar material.  It's truly very special and a blessing I'm sure to know that your legacy has already been passed down to both of your children and your wives and your 6 grandchildren.

One last thing though.  Speaking of grandchildren and thinking about Aaron and Shauna.  Shauna was supposed to come up this week fo work on her mother's house with her siblings, but when she got to her sister's place in TN, she had been on the phone with a doctor back home.  She had a biopsy done of a lump in her breast tissues and long story short, it is breast cancer.  They are now in the process of finding out how much there is, and what treatment plan they would follow, which could include chemotherapy over the next year.  No one has words for this.  We are all shocked and saddened.  The survival rate is very high, 80%, but still, it's going to be a long year for her, and it will probably affect our vacation plans.  Shauna is 36 yrs old.  It's not fair to lose her mom to stomach cancer and less than two months later be diagnosed with breast cancer.  It rocks my world and my faith and makes me question things.  We haven't talked with Shauna and Aaron on the phone, so I don't know what their emotions have been like, but I bet it's been all over the place.  Praise God that they probably have better insurance through Aaron's job at the police department than the health insurance when he was on staff at the church.  I keep repeating to myself "Shauna has breast cancer." and it doesn't seem real.  It's not right.  And I'm angry and sad all at the same time.

So, it's been a long emotional week with kids being inside all day (they did make some cushion forts) because of the rainy weather, and me not having adult interaction at all, or even much time to vent to Jared as he's going to bed or getting up.  But we are halfway through now, so let's finish strong!  We'll party on Tuesday when we pick them up at the airport and we'll party for Valentine's Day on a double date and THEN we'll celebrate Abishai's birthday with his birthday party. Phew!  But first, sleep!

The End