Year 5, February 24th-27th, 2020: Funky Week

Oh Monday, why do you have to be so dreary? It was a Monday, folks. The kids were fine. I was not. We all slept through our alarms and Abishai didn't get up until 8:30am. Jared then texted me wanting me to help take the old van to church to be picked up by a friend so he could sell it. I was still in bed and my body was aching. It's going to be a cold, wet week here in Indiana and my body hates it so much. Plus, I lightly exercised for two days in a row, but you would have thought I ran a marathon. I wish it was just a little bit of soreness in one or two areas or something, but my whole body just hurt so much it was hard to function. But I did. It was a social day with choir and the ladies Bible study was moved to tonight so one of the moms could attend her son's basketball semi final on Wednesday. That meant that we didn't prepare as well for this week's study as in week's past. That means our conversation was a little lackluster and didn't help to bring up my mood any. I didn't do any heavy duty bookwork with the kids today, except I did try to start something with Abishai. I plan on doing a sticker chart or rewarding with a couple of mini marshmallows or something for every page of "school" he does. I am just starting some habits and routines, so the actual work doesn't matter. At least that's what I told myself when we haven't done any of the 2's and 3's type of work like cutting and coloring.  All my kids lack in coloring and cutting. Ok, Keturah has gotten better at it on her own. And Justin does draw well. I just need Abishai to more occupied and willing to work with me. He's in the fiestiness of moods lately, defying us, throwing fits, demanding things, negotiating, and just asking like a hooligan.

But, Tuesday, Wednesday, and most of Thursday, we will be home and we can sort things out. I tried to take it easy today and not stress. Laundry and dishes are caught up, I read for a little bit, and I put together the outline of Justin's high school transcript. And wow, I am such an overachiever and think my kids can be, too. Because I focus so heavily on history and worldview, and geography mastery, and Bible, etc., it looks like Justin will end up with 59 credits, and that's with only a few classes as a senior! I'm checking with my friends to see if I've really gone overboard with assigning credits or something. I want the kids to do 4 years of science, not 3, for example. And World/American history, to do it properly, is going to take at least 2 more years. Math all 4 years. English all 4 years. And we are talking my high standards of mastery. I think, "What if they don't go to college? What would I want them to know?" and that's why I focus so heavily on logic, writing, worldviews, etc. I want them to have what I did. And Justin doesn't spend more than 4 hrs a day on schoolwork, so I know it's not too much, technically. But 59 credits? When base Core 40 is just that, 40, and the academic honors diploma has a minimum of 47. I guess you are talking to the woman who racked up 144 credits in 4 years (plus the time I spent in high school earning dual credit). I know it's 144 hrs because I was 6 credits shy of sitting for my CPA exam. Anyway, Justin's transcript will obviously be tweaked a lot and I plan on going to the transcript workshop at our homeschool convention. It's not intimidating, but I want to do it in a manner that looks good when applying to college. For example, 4 years of Bible, where do you put that? Or extra on world history/worldview? Whichever way I do it, it will come out fine. I just want an accurate portrayal of what we've done.

Also looking at the transcript makes me proud and sad all at the same time. First of all proud, because we will be getting to things that are important to me to teach the kids. But second of all, sad, because the schools are doing a disservice to their kids by not teaching certain classes like worldviews. Maybe that's something that most do in college, but by then, it's so secularized and a Christian won't be able to make a stand for his/her beliefs. Same goes for adults who don't know basic Bible stories. I just think about how little time they get to spend with their kids, so who knows if they've been able to read simple Bible stories to the kids, and therefore gain the knowledge themselves. I'm at a unique advantage in that I get to teach my kids ancient history through the best history textbook, the Bible. While other kids are having LGBTQ and minority agendas shoved down their throats, and spend time on "dress like it's the 80's" days. And that's why I'm looking forward to these high school years where I can have these deeper conversations with the kids. I know Benaiah has had some of that in his school, but I wish I could have been there for him, too. I do have to give him a shout out though because he was really excited to find out that he has an A in math because he aced his last test! And his lowest grade is a B or B- right now! Yeah! For all of his "I don't care about academics" mantra, it was good to see his face light up when he saw his great grades. And it feels good to me that he hasn't abandoned the process altogether.

You know what else makes me feel relieved? When I can bring up yesterday's sermon topic to my kids and they can answer the question, "What is worship?" and give the correct answer, which is, "Everything you do, not just singing or going to church." THAT is a sign that they are listening and that we've taught them something. Now, if they could just stop bickering between them,...yes, I had to get out the apple cider vinegar today because they were mouthing off again at one another. Not any worse than any other day, but I can't handle on my pain filled days. So instead of lecturing them again,  I let the apple cider vinegar swishing around in their mouths and then making their throat feel like it's burning speak for me. It might have worked. We'll see. I'm just glad I'm around to see them through life. I couldn't imagine giving away that privilege to a stranger. I'll get off my soapbox now. I can't think anymore for today.

I'm grateful I do some of the things successful people do! But I still have things I need to stop doing as well.

Cutest puppy on the planet goes to! Ok, he's not a puppy. He's actually turning 10 in April! But he does curl up into such a fluff ball, doesn't he?

Old and sweet.

Poor Justin, my first real guinea pig for high school. But 59 credits?! I'm such an overcheiver! This is going to take some work to tweak! FYI, this is the start of Justin's transcript. And yes, I'm an organizer. Thanks.

Wow. It's been a funky day. Keturah shut off both of her alarms and didn't get up until late. I was slow moving, again. Abishai was all kind of crazy. And Justin, well, was Justin. The rainy, dreary weather is already taking it's toll and it's not even spring yet. The kids can't get outside, so we are literally bouncing off the walls. And no, I don't want to take them anywhere because we have school to do, and I have endless to do lists. Remember, this is the first week back from having all those appointments, so it's time to tackle some things at home. I would try to make things "fun" or whatever, but school took until after dinner. That was mostly my fault because I spent the morning slowly looking for my Michael W. Smith cd's and clothing to wear to the concert. The concert is still weeks away, but I knew if I waited until the last minute, it would be super frustrating, and I'm glad I didn't wait.

I had to go into the very disheveled, dusty, saw dust infested garage. Ugh. No matter what I do, I can't keep that place cleaned up! Everything gets throw in there. And then Jared has his own mess with projects. I cannot wait until spring when I take things out of the garage and put them on the driveway and then rearrange it AGAIN. This is why we need Jared to have a workbench and we need some storage above the washer machine. And I need space to go through things. But it always depresses me when I look for something and end up looking through boxes I've been purposefully avoiding because I know that I just don't want to deal with the stuff inside them. I wrote this long post on Facebook, but basically, it was about self loathing my hoarding tendencies and now physical issues, and even more so, my time limitations. Same old story. That's why I shut the door and ignore things. And I'm just not in a good mood and my body hurts this week. I did find what I was looking for thank goodness. I did not want to have go searching in the shed. But the boxes I looked through also had me going down memory lane and after watching many music videos that were made (and I remember them being made) throughout my adolescent and young adult life and my life events I remember happening at the same time, I am emotionally spent. Just some grief really. And maybe that's why I'm so moody. My mother was the one who brought me to my first concerts. Several of Michael's songs were new when my mom had cancer. Her favorite Michael song was Agnus Dei. I know I'm going to cry at the concert. Plus, as most people prepare for Lent and Easter, I'm reminded of the last days with my mom, who died soon after Easter, on April 29th. So, I'm in a funk.

And Benaiah doesn't feel good, so he went to work, but he's staying home from school tomorrow (first time all year, well, I think there was a day or two during December when he was really, really sick.) I really do not want to get the flu this year. My body aches just thinking about it. Anyway, we did get to watch a weird short movie about Ponce de Leon made in the 80's or something. It was basically a spoof. And now Abishai is saying, "Lucy is a mummy." because this Lucy person, who was a pirate, went into the fountain of TRUTH instead of YOUTH and they basically showed her shriveling up and dying. Oi! I hope he doesn't have nightmares. But I'm in such a weird mood, that when I teased him and said, "Don't you dare bubble (fart) on Mommy," he tooted the three loudest toots I've ever heard! Justin calls them, nox (toxic) gas, (he got the idea from a video game), or grenades, and they really are. He toots on command all the time. It's his secret "weapon." Oh ,that's what is always bothering me. The constant guns! Boys want guns, but the click clacking sound of them is getting on my nerves! Plus he's been playing with Benaiah's nerf guns and I'm tired of keeping track of them. Somehow, Abishai climbs through the garage mess and gets them back down. I need him to stay out of the garage because of the sawdust and who knows what other sharp things are on the floor. He also likes to get in everyone's faces all days when we are all trying to work. I did get to work with him a bit today, so I think that helped a little bit. But the little guy needs some boundaries. So Justin locked himself in his room and I kept Abishai out of Keturah's room. I guess I could have called Grandma, but it is Tuesday, and that's her busiest day of the week. Maybe next time I will. Abishai probably needs a change of pace, too. Bingo! Yup, that's what we'll do. We'll find a day of the week that Abishai can have some Grandma time. And then we'll all get a break.

One last thing, our new neighbors move in this weekend! I hope we will be able to become friends and their girls can grow up with Abishai. Maybe Keturah can be a babysitter, too. Again, their large family does a great job of helping each other out though. So, we'll see. Fun stuff!

He's always getting around...reminds me of a certain relative. They are only 1 yr apart in age and both have successful careers in ministry.

I was 16.

Before going to Canada

I think I need to get some better pictures of my husband. Eek. It's just a testament of how often we are actually around each other right now. It's just a season. We are right in the middle of raising kids. We need more selfies!

With one month until the concert, no, I'm not going to apologize for sharing these. Those who know me best, know that I don't follow as passionately or with as much enthusiasm Michael W. Smith's life like I used to. I don't have a shrine for him anywhere. My husband comes first. I love my husband more than Smitty. But Smitty's music has been a part of my life since I was 12 years old. It's just something I cannot let go of totally. Read my Facebook post below.

60 years young with those piercing blue eyes, still.

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Lots of cackles coming from down the hall. He had the truck going up the door and over itself again and again. Poor Justin was trying to study.

She's so classy.

The IAHE convention is only a month away, too. And I just learned we have a ton more responsibilities than I thought. Time to think through what our personal needs are so we can be helpful and efficient.

I was using this sticks to spell out Abishai's name. When we were done, he made crosses out of them. After the first cross, I asked him why he did it, and he said, "Because Jesus died on the cross. And this cross next to Jesus' cross is the thief, the criminal, and so is that other one." And then we talked about the disciples dying on other crosses. Pretty big lesson for a 5 yr old. But instead of immediately going to a letter T or X, he thought of Jesus on the cross. Thank you, Bible app, and Sunday School. And #parentingwin

Then there's a 14 yr old whose Fortnite character is now a Banana in a suit in a shipping box. #parentingfail

Oh my goodness. This actually came to pressure quite quickly! I only had a cup of liquid in the bottom, too. I added one of those packets of onion soup mix, a ton of salt, and a bunch of that leftover cilantro from last week to a 6 lb pork shoulder roast. 1 hr, 45 minutes in the Instant Pot. Yum!

Wowzers! So much flavor! I didn't get up from teaching in time to make nice side dishes (bread and butter with fresh veggies had to do), but at least we had some great meat to eat!

Aw, now he has to say "#5yoSez." Jared's been using a hashtag like that since Abishai was 2.

Aw, I'm glad he loves his new dinosaur. That's why I spoil him because he really does enjoy the things I get him.

Abishai has been all "lovey" today, especially after he's been in trouble. Sigh. Charmer.

"Daddy, daddy, daddy, wook! People do this so they can slweep!" Do you really need to sleep after you eat?

I found the jacket I want to wear to the concert. Ah,...I bought it off of eBay about 10 years after that tour. My mom couldn't even "afford" a program from that evening. But I later acquired a bunch of things that they sold that evening. "Change Your World" will always be my #1 favorite Smitty album. This is too big on me, but it's worth it. I've kept with Jared's high school marching band letter jacket and his graduation gown and high school band t-shirts.

This one was easy to get out of my closet. I'm not sure where the stains came from though. Early 2000's and I bought it on Michael's website.

I loaded this up to the Michael W. Smith Facebook fan page and tagged Derek Spirk (or Spirkee has we fans call him) who is our liaison between us and management. Someone said it was because it was very limited or something. We had fun remembering the good old days of Yahoo chat groups, MySpace, and paying for a Friends Online membership for a few years. My Michael W. Smith collection is one collection I will refuse to give up unless it's to be placed in a museum exhibit or something. I've meticulously collected it over the years. I don't have room to showcase it and I honestly wouldn't because that would not be nice for my husband to look at and be reminded of my "first love." But alas, this is only 1/100 of my collection.

Daddy, when are you coming home? The men must have been having a great conversation because Jared was 45 minutes late coming home. Actually, they were talking about people's life plans, like moving/buying a house or land/job changes, etc.  None of that applies to us, thank GOD.  I might complain about my house but I'm not ready to move anywhere for like 6 more years. Leave me be!

Uh, my life be like.....I don't remember! So it's Thursday. I didn't write anything for yesterday, but it was probably more of the same. Snowy and cold. Snow is good until you can't get three kids to bundle up properly and actually agree long enough to PLAY in it for a few minutes so I can have some peace and quiet. We have cabin fever and it ain't the good, silly kind. I honestly don't know what to do because I don't want to take them somewhere because it interrupts schooling and I can't get them to agree on board games or movies. And lately I feel like if I don't keep moving forward, I'm going to quickly get behind on my to do lists. I did think it through during my counseling session today of maybe having Grandma take Abishai for a bit on Thursdays, like I drop him off before counseling so the other two can work in peace and he doesn't have to be on the tablet. And then I thought of another problem I wanted a solution for: date night. Instead of taking up another evening, how much Thursdays be counseling, errands, and lunch with Jared? I want to use the principles that the Roloffs have in their marriage journal, so the "date" doesn't have to be out of our normal routine/comfort zone, i.e. I can count on my two hands the number of times we have actually properly "dated" alone. We've always had groups to be around or kids to be with. You can see the questions below, but they are questions like "what are the tasks for the next week?" "what went right/wrong for you last week?" "what are your dreams/goals?" The journal is $30 and I'm not buying something we probably won't use much because we are THAT couple. But I get tired of being ships that pass in the night. So I think I will set up something with Leah, and then steal Jared away from work next week. I don't have counseling, but I'm sure I can make it work. Evenings are just not good for us because we are tired socially and physically and with both of our Bible studies, we are busy 4 out of 7 nights of the week. And we want some evenings to be with the kids for hanging out and movie night. I don't know. We'll see. I'm plotting and scheming. I'm just craving something different. Not someONE, but someTHING. When our pastor told me I should bring up my heavy questions with Jared or my father in law, I wanted to say, "But I never see them long enough to have a deep conversation!" And it's true. Jared and I don't hang out after the kids go to bed. We are both introverts. He listens to his Bible and goes to bed several hours earlier than I do. Last night I couldn't even work on this blog post because I needed to work on emails and making decisions I couldn't do on my phone or earlier in the day. And he's not going to take the intiative. He pretty much has told me that recently. It's not in his nature to do so, which is totally true. As much as it annoys me, I'm the driver in a lot of ways in our relationship and life. That's why when he does take initiative, I bite my tongue and let him do it his way.  Sometimes at least. Sometimes I still speak up when I shouldn't. And that's my epiphany for today. Now you have to hold me to it and ask how it went next week! Lol.

Today, Thursday, more of the same. Keturah keeps turning off her alarms. Abishai is bouncing off the walls in people's faces before they are even out of bed. At least we got "out" of the house to Grandma's house for dinner. Keturah almost refused to wear a coat, wouldn't put socks on, and only halfway put on her shoes. Abishai only changed his pj pants but kept his pj top. Justin changed his pants I think. I did run some errands like a tiny load of groc, recycling, and library on the way home from counseling. I resisted the urge get a Starbucks in Kroger for the 3rd week in a row. I did get some prepackaged chai latte tea (just add milk) in a shelf stable cartoon at Aldis and a bottle of cafe mocha there. This whole fasting thing is difficult. I'm going to try to have a little snack when I'm here on my computer and then start counting down to the morning, so maybe not eat between 10 and 10 or 11 and 11? That's hard to do on mornings I do have to leave, so maybe I'll back it up the night before. I just get so hungry because I'm still staying up late (thus the brain fog). But I did manage to sort through some papers today, figure out Justin's worldview for the next 9 weeks or so and go over both kids' homework. It was nice to not have to cook and clean up supper before piano lesson. I might switch piano back to Tuesday, too, to free up Thursday nights. I know it's normal for all of you have something going on every night, but just adding those two Bible studies really added to my week. They only time that won't work is when I have Mom's Night Out, but we can skip that week or whatever.

Anyway, Benaiah's at work, again, and I found out tonight that Ava has been volunteering to babysit Dan Hamel's little one. Actually, why does that not surprise me? But at least those two are busy, together and apart. Even yesterday when D group got cancelled, Benaiah still had dinner with Ethan and Ava and then went shopping with them, on a mission to buy food for himself, not just to wander a store for fun. Doing life together. He's so not my kid, it isn't even funny (check out the text below). I like to shop by myself, thanks, thus my Thursday errand runs. And another mom had some alone time today. Our new neighbors started moving in some stuff today! I think Ali and her dad were there and then maybe her husband was there later. She did post a photo of her on her couch looking towards the kitchen, which is at the front of the house. She definitely picked a modern farm vibe, which is ok with me. I don't like the mid century modern look or too minimalistic or whatever. I hope to make them some dessert over the weekend and bring bottled water for the movers, whenever that is. I think it's Saturday. But yeah, they are HOME. Now we can have the rule, "You can't ride your back further than Beavers' house." Ok, that's still a couple of years' off. I'm so stoked!

I'm so tired. Loading pictures and bedtime.

Oh yes, I got to put away this mountain of pillows and blankets because Jared isn't using them anymore to sleep in his inverted "V" position! He still has a ways to go, but I don't hear him wincing as much anymore. He will always have sciatica. But at least the crisis is over for now and he can sleep ok.

Sweet graphic I found on Facebook. Love it!

I guess I had time to scroll Facebook this week....I love the last line: lifting the heart to God about it whenever it intrudes upon one's thoughts. We can give something up to God, but we have to keep doing it because it comes back, especially if you've waited a long, long time for it. Keep bouncing the ball back to where it belongs.

Note to everyone!

So, Abishai wanted to be like the big kids and have one of Justin's Mountain Dew Kickstarts. One can has the equivalent of one cup of coffee. I didn't check for the B-vitamins and other ingredients normal energy drinks have. However, he sipped it over a period of 4-5 hrs. And wasn't more crazy than normal. But, I wanted to call him "Hammy" from "Over the Hedge" the rest of the day. Hammy is the squirrel that goes super crazy fast after sugar and caffeine. Totally Abishai!

I also let him have it because he took the imitative to get out a permanent marker (note to self to move said marker) and claim a can from himself and put it back in the box for later. Yes, the boy wrote an "A" on the can all by himself! I guess it's time we start school, eh? He is great at copy catting everyone else, too, for good and bad.

Pitiful doggy.

Winter is still here.

Do the Dew!

Boing, boing! Is it the Mountain Dew or is it is normal calling card? I would say normal.

I finally found all my Michael W. Smith cds and cases, at least the main ones. They were scatered because after I put away this box of cd's with albums through the 2010 or so, it was full and then we moved twice. And every time a new album would come out, I would stick it in different places. Typically my desk, sometimes the car, and I found two cds over near the photo albums. I am missing one, Worship, but I think that went missing before our move to Canada. It's not a favorite, so I'll replace it a some point. I downloaded a couple of discographies so I could get them in order by release date. Except that those lists grouped them by type. No, I want them by release date (except for rereleases or when he put the two worship albums or two hymn albums on to one disc.) I'm thinking of taking an inventory of my speical bonus cds as well and/or laying out my whole collection and taking photos for my Michael W. Smith group as a way to to pay homage to his 35 years in music and the concert at the end of the month. I am going to listen once through all albums, about one a day, before the concert. But I usually listen to them for free on YouTube, that's why the cds were put away. I do want to put some of the newer ones in the car so I don't use YouTube on data anymore. I have a 6 cd changer in my car, woot! Woot!

Pretty decent rendition of Hamlet from what I watched of it. 1995, Mel Gibson, and I think I heard mostly Shakespeare's words in this dramatized version of they play. And it was rated PG. Yeah!

Found them! Phew! I know the Surrounded: worship experience is the latest one but it's in the box with the rest of the 35th anniversary stuff it came with. These were on the bookshelves with photo books because of the signatures. They are real signatures, but I buy them already signed. I typically pay upwards of $5 more for them and sometimes that money goes to Rocketown the Club. I think I have at least a dozen of my cd overs signed. And then I have other signatures on other things, most of which I purchased already signed.

$30 marriage journal. Sorry, guys, I will just borrow some of the ideas and make my own for $1. If it sticks, and we want to continue, then this would be awesome way to do it as a keepsake and look nicer when you want to look back on previous years.

I like those two extra questions.

That's pretty amazing!

After a frustrating week staring at my own clutter, I signed up for this free email challenge. I like that idea that decluttering needs to be practiced. I hate it, and I feel like I don't have time, but I have to make time. This lady is also famous for her "transformation Tuesday" where she takes 10-60 minutes tidying up one drawer or space of her home. She also homeschools and stays at home. Let's do this! And it goes along with Lent, giving up stuff!

The End