Year 5, January 31st-February 2nd, 2020: Picking up the Pieces

What a weird week emotionally for me. Sigh. After a rough night last night, and dragging myself to gym day, I started to perk up after snagging the one thing I went into Wal-Mart for (which will be revealed at a later date). I then vented to my sister. And I did the next thing. I wrote yesterday's blog and focused just on the greatness that happened.  And you know what? It really lifted my mood. I didn't have to cook dinner because it was only 4 of us at home and we had enough leftovers. I did clean up the mess of pants from the last two days though. Yes, I don't always clean up everything after supper. I was hoping the boys would do it, but you know, they don't. I cleaned while Jared ate his salad so I talked while I washed. I did a load of laundry, too. It always feels good to know that I'm capable of keeping up the basics. I might have a house full of clutter (a lot of it I don't mind and I actually like) but I can do my chores without much thought. I'm grateful for that.

Yes, we were late, again, to gym day because I wasn't sure if we should even go. I woke up late. Keturah wasn't ready to go, but I didn't want to just leave her either. Abishai didn't want to go. It was snowing. Ugh. But I pushed through hoping that I would have some great conversations. I didn't end up having those conversations because Abishai was extremely clingy. He didn't eat enough breakfast so he was hangry, too. And I get to earn Mom of the Year award because I didn't make Abishai put on real clothes. He wore his pjs to the gym, to McDonald's afterwards, and to Wal-Mart after that. Mama didn't want to wait on him and his fight about clothes. I didn't care. Justin was able to meet with a new friend who wants to be challenged on Mario Brothers' Smash Bros, you know the game that Justin mastered during his middle school years AT church? Anyway, the boy has a Nintendo Switch where you can take the side pieces off as two controllers. So after some running around playing dodgeball, they played video games. But it had been planned in advance, and I'm hoping it doesn't become the norm. I kind of stayed near them ONLY because Abishai wanted me to be there. I wasn't trying to hover. And I wasn't really in a mood to talk to people. However, this boy's family has some kids similar ages and interests as ours, so we'll see. They do live 30 minutes north east of us, and they drive 30 minutes to gym day, so it's kind of like a triangle of 30 minute drives. Who knows. But I'm glad they hit it off. This boy goes up to our friend Alishai's son's business, Player 1 eSports, so we have connection there. They have a Smash Bros tournament every so often, so perhaps the boys can meet up there sometime. I'd bring a book and read or something. Anyway, that's the real reason I made the effort to go to gym day today. Otherwise, I could have just stayed home.

And yes I treated them to McDonald's again, including sugary treats, even when the bank account was pretty low. I'm lame. I should be a good girl and not spend money. But I wanted a cafe' mocha, too. And fries. And a burger. And I didn't want to try to figure out something at home. So we ate out. Again. Because Boss Baby was asking. Again, I caved. Sometimes you do! And I caved in Wal-Mart, too, and bought him a $3 truck. Life goes on. Keturah got most of her school work done and then was invited to Bailey's house for the evening because it was game night. I checked her math before she went and she's doing GREAT with fractions. I love how slow and step by step our math curriculum, Math U See, is. It makes it so easy to teach and follow. Anyway, since we didn't get home until 2pm, Justin only got a little bit of work done before his buddies were on for video gaming. He said, "Mom, I'm learning how to study at all times of the day, so trust me, I'll get it done." And yes, I can trust him to get it done. That was a very mature thing to say actually. And he did. When he got off the screen, he started working on his school work right away. Even Keturah hasn't sneaked tablet time lately either. Maybe there's some signs of maturity? We won't talk about the eldest child right now. He's a totally different case at the moment. Ahem.

Benaiah wasn't scheduled to work today, so he went to Bob Evans on Southport Rd with Ava for brunch. Well, an hour lately, Grandpa, Daddy, and a videographer friend they were meeting with, ended up there as well. So, Jared got to sit and talk with the lovebirds for a minute. He mentioned to Ava that she still needs to do the quiz or study for it or something for Bible class. Oh, and Jared was going through Song of Solomon with them this week and mentioned about how when the lovers talk to each other, it's POSITIVE words and not sarcasm? Well, when Ava heard that I guess she audible muttered, "Oh crap." Yeah, girl, like I've been saying, constant sarcasm isn't the right way to go about things.  Anyway, after brunch, Benaiah and Ava drove all the way done Southport Rd until it ended. That's way over on the west side of town! Then they drove downtown and walked the canal for a little bit, too. Benaiah came home for a bit and then headed out to join Ava for her archery competition for the evening.  Let's see, in the last 10 days, they've gone glow golfing, went to a hockey game, saw each other at church and school, went out (sort of ) on Tuesday night for their anniversary, hung out on Wednesday during leadership and dinner, and now spent nearly 8 hrs together today. Wow! And Benaiah said he's going to try to do anniversary date part 2 on Sunday night (Superbowl night). Alrighty then, I wonder what her mom thinks. Hm,...

Anyway, Abishai, Jared, and I finished the day watching about half of Captain America: Winter Soldier. It's amazing how much you forget when you've seen so many other movies in between. And then I start thinking about the character development. They wouldn't have known how far this MCU thing would go when they were doing those first few movies. Like Captain America and Black Widow being so tender with each other. And now, spoiler alert, they are both done with the MCU, the actors and their characters, (unless it's a flashback movie like the Black Widow one is). Crazy!

One more thing, Abishai has brought up the Ryan White story a few times today. I think it left an impression on his little compassionate heart that a child died and left all his toys behind. It's so sweet because he was asking more questions about why, too. Daddy was trying to explain it in simple terms, but it was hard. Sweet little thing. He also asked for 100 kisses on his head when we were snuggling this morning. And yes, he made me count each one. Goofball!

I don't know how these get out of order! Maybe because I took this one while my text message was open so maybe it has a different file extension or name. Anyway, I was texting Jared why he doesn't take me out to brunch, and here's why. I take myself out to eat all the time. Like today.

 At Wal-Mart today:

Yup.

Busting that myth that homeschoolers don't get enough socialization wide open. These are just the older kids at gym day.  We use 3 basketball courts to play in!

This is so cute! I don't know who set it up, but it works! Yes, not everyone is active the whole time. They like to just hang out, too.

No judging, but that's so true.

Abishai squished himself in between the boys playing Smash Bros. Tiny screen and controllers, but it worked. Justin said he would have done better with the regular controller he's used to.

Mommy, I made a new bed! Come feel it!

Final product of Benaiah's 1 yr dating anniversary gift to Ava. Simple. And yes, that's a date on the bottom. The other kids couldn't tell what it was either. I told him to put some white dots or something in between the numbers but nope. He liked it as it was.

There ya go.

Their favorite after dinner snack to share, pretzel rods. Jared doesn't snack much, but he does like these and occasionally potato chips.

Booyah! This was my step count at the museum yesterday! I walked 3 miles! Now, who knows how many miles I will walk per day in Israel and how rigorous it will be. The guide it's a 4 out of 5 difficulty type of trip. Eek!

Benaiah's painting as a work in progress. He put down painters' tape and then painted the whole thing.

Then he took off the tape and did some detail work. Very nice. Simple and sweet like his Daddy does.

Finally! A Saturday where we got lots of things done! Well, I try to get lots of things done, so I really don't play or interact with the kids as much. Abishai gets to be attached to Daddy all day long and I'm so ok with that! But Jared decided to complete a fairly simple project today, and I didn't even ask him to! He put up the shelves that have been ready to put up for nearly 3 years! But hey, at least it's done now and Benaiah can use them for his knick knacks. Woot! Woot! And Abishai was the best little helper as well. Meanwhile, I caught up on some schoolwork with Keturah and Justin. I also listed the andirons on Facebook marketplace, wrote a business email to another Indianapolis organization, tried to meal plan, confirmed Abishai's birthday guests, showered (why do I have to actually write that in my calendar?!), and wrote out a short grocery list that Jared and Abishai accomplished for me. I am putting two loads of laundry through, the dishwasher was run, (Jared made supper though), and kiddos were kept moving on chores and homework. I write all of this because although it's mundane, I pushed hard today. And then, all of a sudden I felt awful, like about to hurl awful. I think eating a raw cookie was the culprit. Whoops. I baked some pre made cookies for our super bowl party tomorrow. Jared is making two kinds of bacon explosion. Yes, for the first time in like 10 years, we actually have somewhere to go for the Super Bowl! Not that we care one ounce about football, but it's nice to have friends to have fun with. That's after a normal full day of church things (except no evening activities for kids).

Benaiah worked, came home and ate, and took Ava out for ice cream. He wants to do his taxes tonight, but it's already 10 pm. Sigh. I have to take away Justin's phone because he has basically failed every test in all his subjects. I know tests aren't the whole grade, but he's not learning anything and putting it in his long term memory. He completely failed an open book test, too! I don't understand! Keturah got 95% right on that same exact open book test. So I have to play the mean mom and take away the device. Sigh. I'm tired. I don't know what else to say! (for once!) I've finally got up on all my YouTube channels, so now I can finish watching the CW DC shows and then onto Disney's Mandalorian (sp?) show. Onwards!

Another day, another box! This time, it's a box for a new desk chair! Jared got a new desk chair, so,....Benaiah got Jared's old one! Yeah! The one he had was literally falling apart. It was pitiful!

Aww, too cute!

FINALLY! Three years in the making. I know this sort of project is relatively simple. We just don't make these things priorities in our house. But it feels so good to have my handy man back!

Jared decided, all on his own, to finally put up some shelves that were saved from my brother's room back in the Hooksett, NH house! I had bought the right size braces for them a couple of months after we moved in. The boards and braces have been moved around several times. But today, they were finally installed!

It was easy to install because the wall they are on is actually drywall. I'm thinking the plaster had been replaced when they worked on the bathroom. There's a big cut out of drywall in the boys' closet. That whole tub and faucet is a wreck and needs to desperately be replaced. Maybe our tax refund will be big enough to hire someone to do that! Who knows.

The best big (but still little) helper on the planet! Complete in his Spiderman pj's that has webbing!

Almost done! Jared even cleaned out and vacuumed the area under Benaiah's bed.

Tada! Perfect! I LOVE using the vertical space we have! Maybe that seems too cluttery for some, and makes the room seem smaller, but I like it! I might reposition that picture though. It used to hang in Jared's bedroom.

Lots of space for Benaiah's other Legos and models and junk. Although, shouldn't that be boxed up soon when he graduates? Nah, we'll keep it there until he gets married. We do need to start thinking about a new arrangement of beds though. Abishai will grow out of the toddler bed at some point. We'll see.

And remember, Jared just took care of the book boxes in the hallway that also sat there for at least a year, if not two. Yeah!

An introvert's dream!

When a powerful stomachache takes over, only one thing will calm it down quickly, Digize! And then I got a huge tension headache so time for my peppermint and frankincense!

Sunday Funday! Football, food, and fellowship! Superbowl Sunday 2020! Now who's playing again? I don't know and I don't care. I'm just happy to have somewhere to go for the Superbowl. We haven't been invited to one in like 10 years and typically, we just rode on the coattails of whatever Gary and Leah were doing. It feels great to have a group of friends again to do life together. And we weren't highly organized or fancy either. We all brought something, and our gracious hosts of everything had plain paper plates and cups and we were good to go.  Some are better at hospitality (and initiating) than others. So, the men actually watched the game in one room, and us women just gabbed and ate food and kept the kids entertained in the other room. The TV was on, but for the most part our backs were turned to it. None of us were KC Chiefs or 49's fans, so it didn't matter.  We didn't even watch the commercials either. I know that they will circulate on social media later.  And when it came to the halftime show, we watched the a couple of minutes, but I was interested in seeing dancers pine after a nearly naked woman, so I turned back around.

It wasn't until this morning that I came across a handful of people talking about the halftime show. THEN I started to see positive reviews of it with just a couple of negatives. I saw a few photos and that's all it took to push my buttons. Oh my word. Two older famous Latinos were singing and all the leftist and women empowerment people were singing their praises. However, what they don't share is that one of them preformed a very sexual pole dancing routine with about 20 guys pining after her and her nearly bare figure. Never mind my usual stance on the rest of the dancers' grinding and shaking hips and skin exposure. I love dancing, singing, and performances, but there's a more God honoring way to do it.  I am super grateful that all of my children were NOT watching the TV, no matter what house they were each at. There were girls in cages, and either the sex symbol for female, or what resembled the symbol for Satanism. Even one of the singers' daughters sang with her. I was disgusted.

But I've even more disgusted, frustrated, and mad at my fellow Christians for not caring enough to speak up about it on social media. And when I said that on social media, they said, "Do we have to always share our opinion?" No, but there have been other times that opinions have been expressed. And for some of us, social media is our only outlet. We shouldn't just hide in our fancy salt shakers and say, "tsk, tsk." or just turn off the TV. We need to talk about this. This is NOT normal. I'm not a social media influencer, although I want to be. But my main way of communication is through social media, for better or worse. So maybe by bringing it up, others can take the discussion further into their real lives, have conversations with their children, and move the conversation along. When we sit idly by, Satan has already won. When we accept this stuff as normal and we can't do anything to change it, we are sitting in defeat. The pro life movement has finally gained a footing because of the constant discussion and outcry by all the organizations that are out there for it, and a lot of the word is done through social media. I don't know what the next step is. I don't know and can't stand out there and have meetings with NFL officials and such. But I also know I can't sit here and not talk about it because it breaks my heart to see it, to see women being objectified in the name of women empowerment. Where's the women who don't look like that? Where are the women who can sing but are fat?  Where are the smart accountants and CEO's that are women? Where are the stay at home mothers who are the most influential people on the planet raising their children? Women empowerment doesn't equal singers on a stage or cheerleaders with scantily clothed bodies performing sexual dances. It's not right, and I'm not sticking my head in the sand and sweeping it under the rug. If I offend you by calling you out of your lukewarmness, then so be it. I hold my tongue a lot more than I used to, but I am passionate about my convictions. I don't always have the words, but God has given me the passion because he has given me a spirit of caring for others. And I've accepted that. I like to make noise. I just don't always know how to sway people or solve the problem.

Anyway, the rest of the day was decent.  Well, sort of. I had general issues with the pretty general sermon, but it's the same issues I would have if anybody would have said it. The songs were great, though. And then the conversations with the other women during the Superbowl were fantastic. We are getting along great, even when I'm the only homeschooler. Which proves the point that I CAN get along with and even talk about parenting and schooling with parents that educate differently. I think that's because I'm open and honest about my struggles, mostly parenting issues, not necessarily homeschooling itself, and they also see some of the flaws in the education system, and even one is a kindergarten teacher! I think it's also because we all want to know each other deeper and want to get to know God deeper, and that's the foundation of our relationships, right off the bat. I asked the kindergarten teacher (as well as my friend that I do nursery with), what it's like to teach penmanship in their classrooms. How do you give each child individual attention? Do you sit there showing the strokes? And how on earth do you teach left handers? They both said that it's difficult to teach the left handers, and no, they can't sit there critiquing every stroke. That made me feel better actually. They both know that I'm not against them just because I keep my kids out of the system. And they both recognize it's a hard job to homeschool, too, just like I recognize their job is extremely hard as well. I wouldn't want to manage 20-30 students at a time! Anyway, so one of them has an old copy of a book that a lot of homeschoolers use for handwriting and she said she'll let me have it! Yeah! I'm excited!

At the end of the day, despite some hurdles I needed to go through this week, especially with my personal relationship with our pastor and his wife, I am grateful we are here. We have a life group that lives close by. Our kids can develop relationships with them. We can borrow tools and physical help, etc. The kids are getting a solid church and Jesus experience from great leaders (even if I personally am questioning some theological things, I don't want to hinder what God has in store for the kids). They have the opportunities to grow and lead and serve. I have the opportunity to make a difference in the homeschool community at large and was able to start making connections with other organizational leaders, which is way out of my comfort zone. And then just the other normal blessings of life. Despite the constant bickering from the children.

So all in all, it was a good weekend. Now onto a very packed week!

The big one did his taxes on paper because he wanted to figure it out. Then I inputted information into TurboTax (which is free for people under a certain income and/or students and/or don't have complicated tax issues like we do), in order to submit it. Well, we had figured it out correctly and it was accepted by the IRS. He isn't getting as much back as he expected, but that's what the tax system does to you. You don't get all your taxes back unless you have other people to claim on your taxes. So, there's that.

Grandma wanted Abishai to hand Mrs. Alison the baby gift he helped wrap.  He choose the bow for it. This is the gift that he had found in the guest room and asked if he could play with.

Awww, Mrs. Alison is the best, taking the time to look at the wrapping paper with Abishai. It was a set of books and cars and Mrs. Alison said they hadn't gotten something like that yet.  Yeah!  She is due the end of February.

It's funny when your Daddy tickles your toes with his facial hair.

I LOVE this!

We got to see the middle daughter of some of our friends, the Simpsons, get baptized by her dad today! Chloe is the sweetest kid you will ever met. She always has a hug for me!

And when she came up, she started balling and hugging her dad, and he started crying. She's been asking to be baptized for two years. She's only 7 and in 1st grade. I'm so glad I got to slip out of nursery duty for a minute so I could see it!

The rest of Mrs. Erica's designs! All Aboard the Jesus train! Jesus loves everyone! So bring a friend to church!

Whoops, a tad blurry, but this is Abishai flanked by Erica's boys. Nolan just turned 5 and Conner is 3. Conner loves to line up trucks like Abishai does.

Derrick, Conner, and Abishai loved playing with Derrick's Lego soccer set.

We brought the board game, although Keturah at first protested, and they actually played it! Sweet! Quinn is sitting next to Keturah, and Ava is in the jean jacket. I think that might be Kendall sitting next to Derrick.

Then the younger ones went home (they live next door) and Ava and Keturah played Nerts!

This soccer game was so cool! Oh, and I forgot to say that Jared made turkey bacon explosion and regular bacon explosion. Yum!

We might be getting hefty tax refund, so I'm starting to dream of a bathroom remodel. I just happened to notice my friend's tub, so I snapped a pic for inspiration. I love all the shelves!

The End