Year 7, February 21st-27th, 2022: School, Appointment, Sleep, Repeat

 Monday - Hit the Ground Running

- Back to the races, doing the normal routine.

- We had a normal day. Justin had a telehealth appointment that we had to wait on, so I didn't get to do history with the other kids. Plus Abishai was in and out of the house multiple times because it was 60 degrees and he said he just HAD to be outside today. He read 11 pages of his reader straight through with NO complaints so I let him have extra time outside, too.

- I felt like I was constantly on the move for 6 hours straight. I finally got to sit down with a cup of coffee at 3:30. I did a load of laundry and ran the dishwasher. I had several phone calls relating to doctor appointments. I drank a ton of water but still developed a headache somehow. Then right before Abishai was to leave for karate, he lost his front top tooth! Justin had knocked it loose as they were goofing off in their room! And of course I had to keep up with email and all that. My stomach hasn't felt great in the last couple of days, either. I have a full week of appointments, too. Sigh. Ugh, this headache is turning into a migraine and I already took 2 of my extra migraine pills in the last few days. It's probably just a withdrawal headache and sleep deprivation.

- So, decently productive, full, happy Monday for us all. I'm glad the sun was shining and Abishai and Socks could really enjoy the outdoors today. Socks got to sun bathe a lot. And escape the chaos of the indoors. A great place to rest for the old puppy dog. He of course worries me every single day because every single day could be his last. I'll never ever be ready for it. It will come on suddenly. I try to have a "good bye" moment with him every single day. He's so well loved, each and every day. The advantages of homeschooling and being able to stay home with your pet, of having your pet on your bed with you while you do school, and taking care of your pet throughout the day. There's never a better feeling than knowing you've done your absolute best for an animal for it's whole life. That was what I vowed to myself when I was going to be in total control of owning a pet. We did a decent job with my childhood dogs and fish. But I wanted to up the care a notch. And I have. But I'm also anxious and excited to pick out a new dog and love on it, too. There's so many rescues right now. I would love to have more than one. So many wonderful dogs. I wouldn't mind having several senior dogs in a row, because there's way too many of them being dropped off, too. Maybe Jared will let me have more than one dog when all the kids are grown up. We'll see. For now, I will love on my Socks. He's the best dog in the world. Just the best. He makes owning a dog the easiest thing on the planet. Big dogs are awesome. I will have a hard time going back to anything smaller. They are just so lovable. And really, they are easy to manage. You wouldn't think so, but they are so gentle when trained well. And after watching that vet show, they are a lot easier to do surgery on and look at problem areas and get an IV into and all that. I love big dogs!

 

Someone was initiated into the Johnson Scrabble Club this evening. Kya's never played Scrabble before! Say what?! I mean, she's only 13, so I guess that makes sense. Well, she now has played a bit of Scrabble. I don't think they played for a whole game. But it's a start. Passing down the traditions to the 4th generations! Wowzers!

Time for a wardrobe change!

Voila! First karate class in his new uniform! He said it felt a bit odd. And Daddy said they had some difficult kicks to learn. But he brought home his folder I forgot on Thursday, so we'll start working on the things he has to know for his yellow belt. He still looks so little in that uniform! Ah! Too cute!

Spring for 3 days, and then a big cold front comes in on Wednesday. That's how it goes peeps!

The closest I could find to the meme that really explains how the weather/seasons works in Indiana. Everybody gets excited on these warmer days and the pessimist in me says it isn't really spring, the calendar says it's still February and it's only teasing us. In New Hampshire, we didn't get all this back and forth weather. The four seasons were extremely distinct, at least that's why I remembered. Of course I was a kid so I didn't pay attention as much as I do now. But even as an adult I think the weather is much more volatile now than it was. And thus I get headaches and body aches. So, I would say, We are in Fool's spring still. I don't think this is spring of deception.

After the brotherly romp shown below, someone's tooth knocked loose. And he asked Mommy to help him get it out. Boy did I not want to do it, but I actually didn't hesitate because he needed to leave soon for karate. I got in there and within 20 seconds it was out! Unfortunately, it went backwards into his mouth! Fortunately, Daddy's plate for dinner was nearby!

Ta da! Abishai's quick thinking lead to him spitting his tooth onto Daddy's plate! Such a teeny tiny tooth on such a big plate! But I'm glad he didn't swallow it. I know it would have been fine, but it's more fun when the tooth fairy can find it.

And we finally have a front tooth missing! I've been getting more worried about these teeth because they seem to have been pushing forward like the adult teeth wanting to come in. I know something like that happened with at least one if not 2 or 3 of the other kids, so it makes me nervous. I was a late loosing my teeth and so were our other kids. I'm really happy it got knocked out. It didn't even bleed that much. And now little man has a little lisp! And he's even MORE adorable!

Oh my word! What a sweet smile!

I just happened to have these photos that Jared sent me recently of both of the other boys with the same tooth missing. Let's see, 2007, so Beniah was 5, but his was knocked out early at an amusement park. Justin was just under 2 yrs old in this photo.

And here's Justin, probably around 7, so in 2012, definitely in Canada, because he had that haircut then. He hated that haircut. So you decide, do my boys look alike or completely different? Would you say they all belong to us or are they just their own persons? I really can't say they all obviously belong to us. I think we just have way too much mixture of northern European and Scandinavian blood in us. I think its a great mix handsome and cute< but they certainly don"t all exactly look the same>

What a tiny baby tooth!

This is what caused the loose tooth! Abishai was busy trolling Justin and Kya! And he was having a rip roaring time of it, giggling until he was red in the face!

Boys' Monkey Business

Kya is on Justin's bed, Justin's feet are on his bed, but Justin's on the floor under all these stuffed animals. How he got there, I have no idea. This is what I saw when I walked into the room.

Oh, and there's the culprit. Red face and all. He thought he was so hilarious throwing all the stuffed animals down onto the floor. I don't know if Jared was able to get it to get all picked up or not before putting him to bed. I didn't go back there to find out. But there was a ton of fun going on and that's all that matters. And Justin was allowing it. That makes my mama heart happy.

We might not ever actually use the top bunk, but I'm glad it's there. It does provide an extra storage space and then we can have stuffed animal fights like this one. Who says you can't have fun in a small house? (and wide angle lenses are a great thing to have in a small space).

 Tuesday - Twosday 2/22/22

- A very special Twosday indeed! I didn't make a big deal out of it because I knew the kids weren't up for it and I didn't feel good, still. This ear sinus congested induced vertigo has caused enough nausea for one week that I did take a dramimine this morning and I still feel sleepy from it. I'm trying to be quick with things so I can go to bed early. I'm feeling fibro pain all over. I didn't have time to shower, either. I had a dermatology appointment for a normal full body scan today. Everything looks fine. But a combination of me being late andf the doctor being late, my appointment took way longer than necessary. And I noticed this time how dirty everything felt at the facility. You can feel the effects of not having employees to take care of the building. I just wanted to get in, get out, and go home. I felt like I was in a poor man's hospital. Well, I sort of am. But it didn't used to be so bad. 

- I also took note of the students on campus because technicaly Benaiah is one of them! I'm glad he's only an online student. You absolutely have to be vaccinated to step on foot on campus. And even then they've all been required wear to masks indoors and outdoors. That is going to end on March 4th. Can you imgaine? Being in an umcomfortable desk chair with a mask over your face for the whole day. Gross. Not acceptable. I check Ivy Tech's rules and it's much more lax. Recommended but not required. Thank goodness I can still have Justin take classes there next eyar.

- I felt like a number today, so I didn't add anything extra to my appointment. I'll see the doctor again in 6 months. Carry on.

- I did have Keturah and Justin make taco meat tonight. And I heard the yelling and arguing from where I was resting. Good grief. This is a tough day and age to live under. My eyeballs hurt from looking at a screen. Ouch. I haven't even been on much today.

- We did get history lessons today, but I had to split up Abishai's lessons and do them as I could do them. We did some after dinner. Jared listened to him read as I cleaned up dinner. And then I finished up some written work. Then we'll do what we can at ASL tomorrow. I'm not sure how well Keturah's doing because I haven't sat down with her this week. And I haven't talked to Justin about his work or checked it. He says he'll get it it done and yet I never see him on it. I feel like I'm failing him by not giving him enough.If he feels like he has plenty of time for video games every day, then clearly he is not getting enough school work. Sigh. He was hard to get up this morning because he went to bed at 1am. Sigh. He needs to pull it together before he looses control over his schedule. Sigh.

- The wind is picking up and the cold front is coming in. I need sleep after some cuddling time with Jared. Fun times up ahead for the week. But cold and volatile field, too. Who knows. We will see!

There's been some advancement of Russian trumps, and rumors of bombs going off. Always praying for the Ukraine.

Usually I'm like this, but it hasn't been that bad overall.

The definition of Indiana weather at this time of year.

Keturah said this special ice cream bar was super yummy!

Everybody was enjoying the Twosday things today. At least some people were.

Thursday - Nothing New

- Nothing new to report

- I can't keep my eyes open I'm so tired.

- ASL was fine, Abishai's reading has drastically improved.

- Schoolwork got done for eveything; screentime as normal.

- The weather didn't increase to above freezing.

- I tried to rest today to prepare for tomorrow.  Abishai stayed near me on this tablett, which was cute.

- Justin had small group and Keturah and I went through some clothes to a friend brought me from a sister's house. Most of them fit perfectly, so now I have to decide on what can stay and what must go. I wish We could build on a walk in closet or something for me. Having my wardrobe in multiple locations is annoying. Sigh. Oh well. One thing at a time.

Nice!

Not many photos because I'm just too busy. But here's an example of Canadian pride.

Sweet truck!

Abishai got to do some kicks and punches on sparring night at Tang Soo Do tonight. Nice!

Thursday - Busiest Day on Record

- I'll explain that in a minute, but first, RUSSIA INVADED UKRAINE!

- I shared a post from someone else and then wrote this under it and was going to share it, but I got mad and it started to turn a bit too opinionated for FB so instead I will post it here:

- I copied and posted the stats from another post. But I know that the stats matter, but more importantly, the PEOPLE matter. My friends that live there, the missionaries that have come and gone from there, the orphans there, those who have been adopted from there or will be soon adopted from there and the families that are involved. Oh how my heart hurts right now. How can humanity do this to one another? While we live such privileged lives over here, running to and fro like mice on that ferris wheel thing? Frantically trying to scarf down a granola bar between haircuts and karate practice? Oh how Americans complain about this shoe isn't the right color to match this outfit or this sweater isn't the right length? How dare we complain that are freakin' football team lost the Superbowl? Wake up, America, wake up! Myself included! If you truly studied the atrocities of history, including the World Wars and the Cold War, and we somehow think we are better now than we were then, that somehow we are a more intelligent, advanced society now than we were then, how could we let these things happen? How can humanity do this to one another?! It's because we are LOST with JESUS. We NEED JESUS. ONLY JESUS can fix this. Not one single politician or governing body or policy. Only JESUS. And really, that doesn't come until THE END. Until HE comes again. But while we wait for that, what can we do in the meantime? We can pray, send money, all of that. But what else? We can stay more informed and not just brush things off because we don't understand them for starters. Even if it's just ONE topic. ONE thing that doesn't have to do with your immediate day to day happenings. ONE thing that's beyond your family's scope that affects someone from beyond your neighborhood. I'm not going to say IN your neighborhood because that's going to affect you, too. I mean, think more globably and outside your normal circle of influence. Start by praying for them. Learn more about that topic, that culture, whatever it is. Sweat shops in China. Indigenous peoples in South America. The sex slave industry. Aids in Africa. Or, a little closer to home, homeless in the downtowns. Single moms. For me, it's learning about CRT in public schools. I could easily ignore it. It's not my problem. I only have to know the barest basics to help those coming out of public schools as they decide to home school. But I seek to understand the public schools at a much deeper level so I can provide a richer understanding and the most accurate information to do my volunteering job must accurately. I trust my homeschool peers, but I've gained a ton of insight from watching teachers' videos and even videos on people who want to have CRT taught. I don't have to do that. I have so many things to do. I don't have to care about the Ukraine. Or Canada. Or vets in Australia. But by doing so, I can get my own head out of my own butt. And it makes me a better person. So if you don't have a clue what's going on in the Ukraine or in Canada or even in your own major city or state, I think you're very narrow minded and focused on yourself too much. Get your head out of the sand and pay attention! Ok, rant over!

- I'll be the first one to say that I need to get my head out of the sand. Today was a GREAT example. This has been one of the busiest weeks on record and today was so busy I literally had no time to drink or eat. Literally. I don't think I drank anything from 1:30 until 5:30 except a few sips of water. And I was determined not to get another headache. I've already taken my max dose of sumatriptan for migraines this week. I should have brought water with me on my trips, this is true. Or taken out my little water bottle, this is true also. But the chaos of the back and forth trips doesn't help remind me to drink water. I didn't have time to sit down and eat either. Plus, I was focused on school and had to use my mouth for that instead of eating. For example, today, I had toast, and collagen in my tea for breakfast. Then, I had my coffee at lunch. I didn't eat until after haircuts at 3pm and then I ate a chia with fruit pouch, a 13g of protein snack pouch thing like puffed cheese and gf something, and one of those caffeinated bar things I have. And then, I ate cold stew at 5:35 so I could leave again at 5:40 with Abishai for Tang Soo Do. Half of a tin can of cold stew I might add and maybe a cup of very cold water which typically hurts my stomach.

- Trying to get Abishai to get his homework done this morning was a nightmare despite starting at 9am while Daddy was still at home. Jared went with Jim to clean up the house that they were flipping so it can finally be put on the housing market tomorrow. It's been 14 months of work, rather, 14 months of delays. And the paint guy had made a mess of painting and there was still work dust everywhere. Blech. So Jared left a bit later than normal. Anyway, we still didn't get done with Abishai's homework until 1:40 when we had to leave for haircuts. Oh my word! And then after haircuts, I made two quick stops for library books and to drop off dishes to Grandma. Only I didn't realize all my books were in, so it took me 3x as long at the library as I had expected. I think I checked out 40 items or more. It was a lot. Whoops. 

- And yes, I didn't realize how close it was going to be after the other appointment which ended at 5, way over in Greenwood, and having to drive through traffic. Granted, I also didn't know or think that Abishai was going to have Tang Soo Do on Thursdays at 6 every week either. So, we are all adjusting. If this new appointment is going to be weekly, I could ask for Grandma to do Abishai's appointment or I can I better plan for food for me, or whatever. It worked out ok tonight. He was just a couple of minutes late and I was still able to get enough food into me.  I like going and seeing what Abishai is doing in his class so I can help him at home. He is the most adorable little student ever! He's concentrating so hard at paying attention and being very exacting in the movements. I wish he was that way at home! He can stand so perfectly, much better than the kids that have been doing it for years. Again, I know the other kids are tired from their school days, and they've probably become lazy and the the novelty has worn off. But I also know that ADHD people (if Abishai has it) can hyperfocus, and when I'm in a setting like that, I tend to really concentrate as well. As long as he keeps that kind of focus, he'll learn quickly and not get frustrated or burn out. Of course with my personality, I want him to go up the ranks as quickly as possible, so I did ask him what he wants, to just go for fun, or to earn his belts quickly, so I could gauge how hard to push him, and he said, quickly, so I'll keep quizzing him about the names of things and learning the stuff myself so we can incorporate it in our schoolwork and practice it. They practiced their forms tonight and he listened to the helper well when he corrected him, especially about where his hips were facing. I was very proud of him. The two green belts, the oldest two kids, did seem to try their hardest on their forms. It was the 3 middle kids that were lazy and soft. But, Nathan the instructor, addressed the class as a whole, instead of pointing out individual students, which is the right way to do it. And he worked with a couple of students at a time, and then each kid within a group, so I was super impressed with how it all went. And Abishai got to practice the first couple of moves with the two green belts! He looked super adorable next to the big kids! And they all seem to like him well enough. Well, if he says their name, they will say hi back to him. Some of them will initiate conversation with him, too. He's already learning their names. But that's Abishai. He makes friends wherever he goes. He's not shy. He will go up and fist bump people to say good bye. Or yell "bye" to whoever is leaving and he will use their first name. Whereas I will just leave. I tell ya, he would make a great preacher at a small church somewhere where you need to know everybody! And his insane ability to memorize would be great at it! He picks up on so much so fast! Yikes!

- What I wasn't happy about today was that I called Justin on my home from the appointment, so around 5:10pm, so he could warm up chili for Abishai, and instead of Justin doing it, he told Keturah to do it. Um, no, I told YOU to do it so you would a) get off your device and b) because I knew he would fail. Of course I knew if I told Keturah she would do it, because most of the time she has done it. But I wasn't sure her status with Grandpa class and she should have been vacuuming. So when I got home, I found Justin still on the PS4, and Keturah frantically warming up all the leftover food for dinner and mad that something went wrong with the Zoom for Grandpa. Oh my goodness. I was so mad at Justin and felt so bad for Keturah. I didn't have time to explain anything then, but I made sure she knew that I appreciated what she did later on when I got home. I then explained to Justin what he did wrong as well. He's not happy with me and probably doesn't think he did anything really wrong, but whatever. You got caught, didn't you? It was pretty much a test, and I told him so, because I just knew he would fail it. I didn't expressly say to get off, but it was definitely implied that duh, you get off when you get food for your brother and how dare you give your assignment to your sister?! If I wanted your sister to do it, I would have told her. So, his punishment for the evening was no PS4 (which I don't think I've ever given to him before) and he must brush the dog and for the love of everything, read the books I told him to read 6 weeks ago so I can take them back to the library! He just brought him back a pile of 10 books. Yes, dear, they weren't hard to read. I wasn't making it difficult. You were just being stubborn and distracted. But tonight was the last straw because he had stayed up multiple times this week until 1am. And then was difficult to wake up in the morning. And I am starting to wonder if he's actually doing his homework right or if he's cheating. So I was just done. Full stop, you are punished, no more PS4, I don't care who you were helping or who you promised you'd be on later with. Full stop. You've had enough grace for your ADHD moments. You're fired. The real world isn't this lenient. You WILL get fired way sooner. I'll be harsher from now on. That way you learn the lessons now instead of out there when it really matters.

Oh my goodness! Abishai looks so tall and thin in this photo! I guess it's because he just got his haircut. Lol. Or he just looks older!

He's on his way to hide the now 3 chickens in Mrs. Jennae's salon because he found them all.  Jennae thought she only had 2 chickens but then a client's daughter found a third Little People's chicken in the toys. It's become somewhat of a game to move the chickens around the salon. Abishai decided to take it upon himself to hide them all without Jennae looking so she would have to go on a chicken hunt.

Russia opened fire on Ukraine today. I haven't had time to watch a lot of coverage so I don't know the details. Just enough to know it really did happen and that people I know or have loved ones there have been fired upon and the capital of Kiev does have or had have their bomb sirens going off. I believe Kiev is in the middle of the country. And Ukraine isn't a small European country either. It's the size of Germany or France. England is only about 1/3 of the size in area of Ukraine. And while it's a true democracy, her people are worth fighting for. And parts of her economy affect the global economy. And just the fact that humans are hurting other humans, should break your heart. Americans can't fight every battle, I get that, and it's unwise, I get that, too. But it's still awful to be over here and watch it, or be bickering over the color of sandpaper or something while people are being taken back 30 years to air raids. If it doesn't break your heart, your heart isn't beating. Period. God is upset by this. This is Satan's doing. All we can do is pray, send money or ourselves when we can, and hope Jesus comes back soon. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

Friday - TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!

- I can't believe it's finally Friday! What a week! I went from watching Justin Trudeau invoking emergency powers last week so he could clear out the Freedom Convoy last weekend to watching the American Freedom Convoy start their treks to Washington, D.C. this week to watching the Russians invade Ukraine on all sides less than 36hrs ago. I have had appointments every day, barely eaten, haven't showered at all, had headaches nearly every day, had trouble keeping up with normal tasks, all while being emotionally vulnerable for Jared and Justin this week on the home front. No wonder I'm utterly exhausted! Yes, my ADHD and anxiety is self afflicted at times, but I also use it for good purposes as well. I'm just glad the week is over and next week there are no appointments. I've got to work hard tomorrow on my computer first though. 

- I did decide to snuggle with Abishai and read to him a book on Alcatraz instead of going for a shower because he looked like he needed the connection time. And then I showed him photos of Jared, I, and Benaiah visiting Alcatraz in 2005 when I was pregnant with Justin. He loved that! And we looked briefly through the whole album, too. And then all of a sudden we had 20 minutes to get ready to go to gym day. Grrr. Stupid time constraints! All I wanted to do was snuggle my 7 yr old. Whatever!

- Justin did his homework, but none of us got the chance to eat any real lunch, which didn't bode well for us later on when we were all hangry after gym day. It took us a bit to recover once we got home. Only 4 of us main families went to gym day, but that made it very pleasant. We adults talked about many different things, which I was grateful for. It was a great brain break for my week.

- We did the usual in the afternoon and I wasted it by working on that dumb puzzle with the dumb sky. I think I got a few more pieces, but the border isn't resting down right. I'm about to give up on it. But then I'll know that I never conquered it and that in and of itself will drive me nuts. Soon enough, if it was clean up time so we could have dinner with Grandma and Grandpa since Grandpa will be gone again on Sunday.

- Dinner was fine. Conversation centered around the Russian invasion of Ukraine since we know many people there. Jared got upset over the fact that both Gary and I said in unison that Fox News said nothing about Trump licking the boots of Putin the 4 years in office. I wasn't listening to Fox News then, but for as long as I've listened to Fox News, I haven't heard of the connection. I'm glad I asked Jared what was bothering him and that he answered with a straight answer. Yup, it's hard when you get shot down, isn't it? Welcome to my club when you disagree with me. But he survived. 

- But yes, I'm still physically ill from thinking about the Ukraine and seeing all the photos and videos. I have only seen a few raw videos, a few reports from main stream media, and a few from Fox news. But it's enough to stir up deep emotions within me. Those children, those adults, the terror and horror of war. Those beautiful buildings that had been finally rebuilt, destroyed again. My friends' boys could be killed. The beautiful woman that stayed with my in laws for 6 months could be killed. All the friends my in laws have met. So many people. So much mass destruction. All for a power grab. Why, Lord, why? Why war? It's so disgusting and pure evil. I will never understand it. It's so ugly. I don't know how video gamers play war games. It's so nasty. Why mimic real life like that? I can't even imagine. And I sit here, all warm and cozy with not a care in the world, really. My "triggers" are nothing compared to theirs. It's a living nightmare. And of course, where are the Covid restrictions? No one is talking about them. They don't exist anymore. Survival has to happen first. It's so wearisome. I don't know how God can just let Satan carry it out with His people. Ugh.

Michael W. Smith's music director shared this on his IG because they played in the Ukraine on their world tours, but it perfectly sums up what the world is like both in the Ukraine and generally. Life can go from from the most beautiful, calm, peaceful thing one minute to all out war in the next. As many have expressed to me and online, we are living out real historic events. This war will be in our history events, whatever they will name it. It will be a step toward WWIII or not. These photos we are capturing now will be part of the story. The devastation is great. The Ukranians have been through so much, generation after generation after generation, over hundreds of years. And now, yet again, the Russians, have done it again, despite 1700 people being arrested for protesting in Moscow. Russians are just so mean. Always have been, always will be. Same with China, who has also become aggressive again towards Taiwan and Australia. They plan these things together, creating chaos. Whether I'm reading about it for WWI or WWII or the Cold War, here it is again in the 21st century, same thing. Man is power hungry. It will not stop until Jesus comes back. Jesus can stop this. But only Him.

Then there is this cuteness overload from 13 years ago. I loved those jeans because of those butterflies! And the pink galore! The only time I would be able to put pink on a child! And now she absolutely refused to wear pink, purple, and anything that remotely resembles those hues. But oh those chubby fingers and cheeks! She might have looked like Grandma as a baby, but she's my mini me now. But one and only baby girl, Keturah!

My sweet, compassionate youngest child decided to share the last of his gummy worms with all of us this morning. And then he brought me mine in the other room just to make sure I saw them. He's such a giver!

It's a floof taco!

Eastern Europe is mostly Eastern Orthodox Christianity instead of Roman Catholic. And their Christianity has waned over the years, but how cool that they still sear on this version of the gospels?

I was looking up a map at the time, but since when does the phone actually tell you that the phone call is in fact a telemarketer? Lol.

When Abishai ran around the gym staying in the lines, he ran his lap this fast. It's still a good time for a lap for his age!

Today's kid crew hanging out.

Abishai got a hold of my phone for one second and he managed to get a photo of me! I look like an old lady! Jared said that yes, indeed, in this photo, I look like an older lady, but no, I don't always look like an old lady. What a perspective though. Yikes!

There was some freezing rain here and there, and we had some icicles forming around the front yard, so I took some pretty photos, enjoy!

They are on their way to Washington, D.C. It's our turn for the Freedom Convoy! Same thing - freedom from mask and vaccine mandates for all workers, children in schools, etc.

I don't agree with everything my husband says, but I do sometimes. It's been a hard day for a lot of people.

Keturah skunked Grandpa at Nerts. Grandpa must be getting older if the grandkids are finally catching up and overtaking him! Abishai asked for Grandma to do his Bible lesson with him this week again. I think maybe she's easier or he's used to her more from Sunday School. I don't know. But I think she was pretty happy she was the chosen one.

Saturday - Abhorring Violence

- The older I get, the more I abhor any kind of violence. I skip the parts of movies with violence in them if I've watched the movie at least once. I don't read the books about what weapon does what that I get for the boys for history reading. I haven't fired a gun since we practiced with one over 10 years ago. I don't mind the bow, but not many people use them these days as a murder weapon. I can't stand even verbal confrontation from loved ones. It makes me cower in a corner more and more again. I say again because I grew up in a household with verbal abuse, mostly directly at a sibling, and not me. But it still negatively affected me. 

- I tolerate the boys when they fight, but I often go to another room after I get my snapshot of "boys will be boys." But, I think after today, even taking a photo of that will be less. When the Ukranian President is literally out on the streets of the capital, Kjiv, holding a gun and in full battle fatigues, and the Russian President is in a suit calling all the shots and there's bombs going off all over the city, I say enough is enough. Stop playing war and trying to decide whose mountain is bigger. I don't care who picked the fight. Just stop it. Stop being jealous kids and stay on your side of the border that was agreed upon 30 years. Make it work. 

- And there's the NATO nations just sitting there with 40,000 troops watching this unfold, civilians getting hurt and so much damage to centuries older Eastern Orthodox Christian churches. All it takes is one unanimous decision to invade and they could save so much. But because the Ukraine never joined the "club," they won't come to her aid. Are we literally on the playground? It certainly feels that way. I'm very upset and that doesn't bode well for my productivity.

- Thankfully, the oprhanages do have food, so although they are stuck, they won't starve. My friends and other adoptee families are desparate to get their kids to safety by there's no way to get out since they destroyed the bridges. How can somebody do that? Just how can somebody be that mean against a fellow human being? I just don't understand and it's making my emotions yo yo from crying my eyes out to raging in anger. I'm exhausted.

- The rest of our day was spent like every other Saturday. We tried getting the kids involved in life other than a screen, with very little success. Jared working on some mini projects for his parents. Justin and I had a meeting of the minds with Kellie and Kya. It was a heart to hear about some things that had been going on, and well, I don't know about Justin, but I felt like I was being scolded and started to squirm in my seat. I  don't know how Justin held it together.  But what's done is done and there's a solution and all is well again. Kelly is such a great mama bear and I love following her lead. She has taught me so much. She's like a mama to me. Praise the Lord!

- I did finally get a shower in, and so did the rest of the crew. Laundry is going, dishes are cleaned. Tomorrow is normal, and next week is fairly quiet. I need loads of sleep. Oh, and I spent 4 hrs at the computer writing the IAHE Newsletter that is due on Wednesday. I cleared books off of my desk. I still have other things I didn't get to today but that will have to wait until tomorrow. My restless legs hurt a ton today, too, so I'm not sure what I'm going to do with that tonight. The other night they were awful too. And I discovered I was double dosing on a medication, my anxiety one, which actually seemed to help lift my mood, but I don't want to hit that max dose either. Hm,....so many moving parts. Never enough time.

- I'm so grateful for what we have here. I need to be content or my words are shallow and I'm just virtue signalling. I can't have that. Pray for the Ukraine. Give to the Ukraine. Leave the squabbles to the politicians. 

Or what to have for lunch, or what to wear, or if they have been in the bathroom long enough, or if they need more water, etc.

Abishai stole my phone today

Those big brown chocolate eyes get me every time. I still can't believe this dog had no problems with his eyes, ears, nose, or gait. He does have a bit of issues with his joints and doesn't quite stand perfectly upright anymore, and he does have inflammation of his heart. Otherwise, he's still perfect.

Leave to TikTok/Facebook for new recipe ideas.

Why yes, our dog Socks, is as big as a mini horse when he stretches out. I'm so glad we finally cleaned out the living room. Hanging out with Mommy today.

After 14 months of trying to flip this house, it's finally on the market to be sold! Praise the Lord! I'm so glad they spent the extra money to have it staged and took tons of photos. Now pray that it sells quickly! It's not situated in the most easy to get to location because of some major construction, so who knows how it might go. But it's finally done! This is the investment home that we have taken part in.

Leah gave us some extra photos she said. This one was from 2009. Maybe it was from a Thanksgiving? Jared and his grandparents. Back in the good haircut days!

Aww, that's a 3 week old Benaiah with Grandma Cook!

And even further back to when Jared graduated high school in 1997. He had just turned 18. He looks super young and skinny faced. So, Justin is 16 1/2 now and Beniah is 19 1/2 and on his way to being 20. I can see both Justin and Benaiah in Jared's face here. Way, way back!

My doggo getting his sunbathing on. He had just been outside for an hour. He certainly did not need to go back outside. I think he really liked the warm sunshine and to be close to mommy since I was gone with Justin his morning. Best dog ever!

Sunday - Pain sucks, life shouldn't.

- It's been an interesting day. I've had some up and down emotions because I just can't get away from thinking about the Ukraine. I woke up with some vertigo still, and although I wanted to try to get to church in real life, I watched from home again. I know, I know, it's now a habit. I'm really enjoying the solitude of eating my breakfast in peace, singing in my kitchen while thinking about my kids and husband at the building doing the same thing at the same time, listening to the sermon and taking notes while I'm standing or puttering, and not being distracting by what everybody around me is thinking or wearing. It honestly works out better for me. I get out more from being home than rushing to be there and looking a certain way or acting a certain way. It's my only time to be truly alone at home. It's a good way to start the week. I keep thinking about how I would change things. But how can I ask Jared to switch services so we could sit at 2nd service together again? Or how on earth could I get up and be ready to go at 8:30 every week without feeling ill? I just don't know. What is best for us in this season without feeling and looking like a hypocrite? What does God want from me/us? What does our children see it as?  I already know that my in laws disapprove. Jared doesn't mention it. I'm counted either way. Why do I feel the need to feel guilty or shamed? If I'm worshiping God a mile down the road from everybody else, what does it matter? If I'm in the building and no one talks to me, is it not the same as going to the building and slipping out without being seen? What is fellowship? Anyway, so that's my every Sunday dilemma. I stay happy and healthier if I stay home. Mentally healthier. Which makes for a better mom and wife. Again, I'm not looking to make 1400 friends at a megachurch. As all my friends say, it's too big. 

- We went out to eat at Red Cactus, a Mexican restaurant restaurant, afterwards. We had to wait 20 minutes for a table. Meanwhile Justin went down to Kroger to get a special drink someone suggested. Grandma gave him some money. I was going to take him with me to Kroger because I needed to go there, but oh well. Whatever. As usual, once we were seated, service was as fast as it could be. Our favorite server was there and as funny as always. I had my usual fajita nachos, but they did not settle well. I was also hurting physically, and I came home and tried to just lay down on the couch. But I was hurting so much I couldn't lay down flat or curled up. I just didn't feel well. I couldn't sit up and try to finish that puzzle either. I'm going to just put it away. I'm done with that puzzle. The sky is bothering me and it's not worth it. I'm moving on. It's not fun. I have other things to do.

- After rest time, I got up but still hurt a lot. I haven't eaten dinner. But I managed to do laundry and send the kids to youth group. I got onthe computer and finished my IAHE tasks from yesterday. I haven't moved from my computer in 3 hrs. I need to stretch. Jared took care of dinner and kids' transport to church. I'm exhausted and hurting.

- It's really exhausting being empathetic towards others. That's a lot of where my pain is coming from. I do put it on myself. But there's nothing else I can DO. I'm a DOER. I need to be DOING something. I've never been on international mission trips. I never felt called to actually go somewhere beyond the local mission field. But Jared has been. My sisters have been. My kids have never talked about it. And it makes me really sad. A few years ago, many kids in the youth group talked about it a lot. The church talked about it a ton. We had a vibrant missions ministry. But ever since the Alexanders stepped down, no offense to the current missions ministry, the momentum has stopped. And then Covid happened. And we've had nothing. I realized this when Dan was on stage trying to explain the connection of our church to Ukraine. The current membership doesn't have a clue what the old membership did have. We planted two churches, sent $500K, sent 100 people, etc nearly 20 years ago now. But no one has done much in the last 15 years with Ukraine. Same with even Cambodia. No one talks about Habitat for Humanity or Crisis Pregnancy Centers like they used to. Or Sierra Leone. Or Mexico. Or Shepherd Community. Or Wheeler. We talk about Thomas Gregg Elementary school. And we collect snacks. Ok, some go tutor kids. I honestly do not feel there's enough change or culture shock/shift to change a person's heart with that program to snap them out of their every day suburban life here. It's not immersive enough. When you go to the slums of India or Africa for a week and can't shower, it changes you. I want my kids to experience that. But they haven't. They wash a window one morning and go see a movie in the afternoon. They are kept in a safe environment for liability. There is no risks taken. This is why I want them to go to Bible college and be roped into doing a mission trip or an internship or summer school for the summer somewhere else away from home. They need exposure to poverty. I've talked for years and years and years about it. And somehow I understood it from seeing the poor at Workcamp. But my kids have not. They just ask for more and more. 

- I just want more for my kids. I want them to have empathy, a heart for the lost. I want to talk about more than pop culture, video games, and Lego sets. I want to see the fruit of my labors. I want to see them take initiatives for God's glory and not how they can earn huge amounts of money.  And it's because I can't physical go and do. I have to be a sender. I'm tired of being the sender. I know they say praying and sending money is enough. But to me it's not because I used to do more. I gladly did more. I wanted to do more. No one told me I had to do more. But my kids just sit on their butts and do nothing. Nothing of value and worth. Nothing that truly shows thankfulness for what God has done for them. They take their health for granted. And then I sit on my couch with a stomachache, headache, curled up in a ball, weeping and wailing for the orphans in Ukraine. For fighting that isn't even on my soil. Because I care about people. I care about who God cares about. I have a heart. And I wish God would preform a miracle on me so I could be an example to my children. Because the church has failed to be the example they need. 

- So, I've been pretty upset again today. I've tried to move on and be in the moment. But it's so hard when you are surrounded by physical stuff that hinders you and mental health stuff that weighs you down, too. At least I will have time this week to recover and I can reconnect with the kids and we can do better with schoolwork. I know how to do that part of life. And I got a lot done for the IAHE. Just have to finish that up and send the newsletter on Wednesday. And then on to taxes. 

Woah, weird ice on the table top. Cool though!

In a house with boys, always expect the weapons to show up in every nook and cranny. Abishai said he just randomly put it there, but I like to think it was because he wanted Mommy to be safe.

It's always fun to look up where everybody was today. Gary was off preaching somewhere in Ohio.

The NOLA Johnsons were home as usual.

The rest of us were at church or in the vicinity. Well, I can only track Justin, but I knew where we were.

Abishai shoved a blue airhead candy in his mouth all at the same time. Ewwww! He also saw his friend Nolan and wasn't sure if he should go over and say hi to him at his table. But with some prompting from Daddy, that's just what he did. Just like how Grandpa would have done to visit with other church folk. He's Grandpa's mini me all right, inviting himself to other people's dinner spaces at a restaurant. So cute!

'Tis the season! I didn't want to just buy facewash and dog cookies, so I looked through the Easter candy and I'm glad I did. This year's new Peep flavors! I did NOT buy the red hot cinnamon ones, blech! But there's chocolate pudding, coffee shop coffee, fruit punch, and the marshmallow chocolate ones. Mmmmmmm......but it doesn't mean we will open them tomorrow. I just know that Aldi's won't have these flavors so I'm stocking up early.

Jared's the one who started our family on the Peep craze. But he likes the yellow chicks the best.

I was very disappointed in the comments below this post. They were absolutely mean. Words like, "What good is that going to do? Biden isn't going to see this. They actually did this on Saturday and I couldn't find a follow up post about it.

Believe it or not, I have no read yearn on hand to fix these. So I asked on FB. I only need two yards. I don't want to buy a whole skein, but I will buy a skein if I have to. I still can't believe it's been 10 years since we purchased these. I'm so glad we did. I think I might need to go cry again, this time as to why we aren't there now.

And then I found Miss Cinderella humming to herself while doing her vacuuming chore. She claims to not be all girly but she definitely has that nurturing, feminine side to her.

The End