Christmas, even if you pair it down to the basics, is not for the faint of heart. I'm sooooooo tired! I promise you, I'm saying no to things. But I still had to buy or make gifts. I still have to feed my family in between the preparations. I have to help a 15 yr old edit his paper (grammar not content, and final draft) he's worked on for 4 days. And I had to make the few goodies that remind me of my parents and siblings because well, we don't get together for the holidays, like almost never. My brother's kids have immunity issues, so we have to be careful being around them. My sisters live in New England, although one of them came with her son last year. And both of my parents are in heaven. So, when I go "hog wild" and buy every single type of candy that my parents enjoyed, I think I'm excused. I do have these traditions (like cherry winks and cranberry bread; ham, muenster cheese, pickled herring, and rye bread; Christmas candy like cherry cordials, Andes mints, MM's, Hershey minis, peanut butter cups, and Hershey's kisses) so that my children remember that my family exists. We don't communicate with them as often as I would like to, although my brother did call me this weekend, unpromted. We don't go on vacations together. And to be honest, I don't even know what one of my sister's life is like because she hasn't spoken to me since my mother died 7 1/2 yrs ago.
Christmas is tough. And this year, the grief suddenly hit me today. Probably because of buying the candy last night and feeling guilty about it. But I do this every year. Same candy (in varying amounts, sometimes I buy less). Same baked goods. Same growing up family memories I share year after year. Why is it hitting harder this year? Maybe it's pent up grief because I've been pretty joyful about doing "everything Christmas." We've done the things I've always wanted to do. But maybe I just don't want that end. Maybe I don't want to travel on Christmas Day. Maybe I don't like combining the stress of packing and Christmas in the same week and now I've procrastinated on it and feel overwhelmed.
I love to do the Christmas things. I really do. I don't usually ask for help on it. Maybe that's what I need to do. Ask for help over the next few days. The kids do help and will help. They like to wrap gifts. They pack their own bags. They can entertain the toddler. Yes, that's what I need to do. Explain to them that I need to focus on some things they can't do, so please pick up the other slack for me. But first, we all need some really good sleep. The last two nights of 2 am bedtimes has greatly affected my patience and strength. So, sleep, please come soon.
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Tuesday we opted to stay home because I found out that the last toddler time for the year was last week. I was bummed. There were a few other options at other libraries, but to be honest, we just didn't have time for them. We focused on school, kept things picked up, and the kids had Bible class. I rested up so I could go shopping by myself after dinner. You can't pick out stocking stuffers and candy for the kids when you have them with you! And honestly, I hate grocery shopping by myself. I was trying to keep it a light load at Aldi's and still came away with the same amount of money spent. Which meant I had to unload the cart, bag up the groceries and load up the van all by myself. I really missed my helpers! Oh, and I had to push the full cart! No wonder I'm exhausted. I can focus on what to get at the store while the family does all that physical work. I'm so grateful we have made it a point to do it together. You eat the food, so you must help haul the food, and on occasion cook dinner (they usually get their own breakfasts and lunches). Then I headed to Meijer for the rest of it. I really don't like shopping at the big box stores. I never know where to find something, and if I forget something, I have to double pack to get it. I was able to find most of the things on my list, except for dairy free egg nog, and forgot to add the pickled herring to my list! I'll try to pick that up tomorrow when I only have one kid with me. Yes, yes, I hear the term "first world problem" spoken in the background. But for those with chronic pain, these kinds of trips are exhausting and affect everyone else if we don't get the proper rest afterwards, which I didn't.
I got home around 9:45, we unloading groceries, put things away, and I went to tidy up my desk and keep plugging away at the to do list. The about 11:30pm, Benaiah asks if I could edit his paper. He had to write a portion of a "technical manual" explaining what his role was for his Aerospace class. I was thoroughly surprised at his ability to write! Even his grammar was nearly on point! I'm not much of an editor, but I'm learning a ton through our new grammar and writing program for Keturah and Justin. So, I did my best to fix a few grammar parts and point out a couple of awkward phrasing. He polished it and I printed it at 1:30 am (my computer can be awfully slow someimes, which contributes to my anxiety because I can't get things done quickly!). And guess what the sucker got on this paper?????? An A+!!!!!! He's the only sophmore in a class of all juniors. There's one other kid who puts a ton of effort into his schooling, same as Benaiah, and Benaiah thinks he outscored him. Color me impressed! And I feel that Benaiah now possesses most of the skills he needs to be an adult, in college, or at least in communicating in a workplace. It was a team effort with me and Abeka books setting the foundation, Grandpa making him write 2,000 word essays, and Mrs. McCollum working on his grammar and vocabulary the last 1 1/2 years. One of my biggest goals for our homeschool is to give the kids the tools they need to communicate well and I think we have reached that goal with Benaiah. Justin is on his way to becoming a good communicator and Keturah, too, has increased her skills. Yeah! Mission is on task!
So, today, Wednesday, I had a hard time driving to and from gymnastics, but we made it through that and seeing Daddy at the office and going to the library. Justin even made cookies again today, and the boys had their Bible Bowl Christmas party tonight (although Benaiah was invited to and hung out with Ethan's small group who was also having a party at the same time and in the room next to Bible Bowl). Abishai had tons of fun running up and down church hallways and Daddy's office. He thinks Daddy's office is a home away from home and immediately strips off his outwear, shoes and socks, and makes himself at home. He loves seeing his Daddy often and will request Daddy at times. And now I sit typing, wandering if I'll get to watch anything for entertainment or if I should keep on working on projects. I haven't watched a show in several days, so I'll probably do that. I've been enjoying some Christmas music here and there this year, more than I did last year.
And I can not wait to see the faces of the kids when they do open their gifts. We think hard and long about their lists and wants, and what would be worth having or not. I've got some surprises that will knock their socks off (except they don't wear socks). Ah! I wish I could tell you more!
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| Finding time to get ONE picture of the 6 of us together is nearly impossible with our schedules! So we did the best we could with a tripod, our Christmas tree and a little setting on the camera that had a self timer of 10 seconds and then took like 10 pictures! We giggled and giggled when it wouldn't stop taking pictures! |
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| Christmas 2017 |
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| Christmas card outtakes! |
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| One of Benaiah's friends LOVES Lucky Charms, so Benaiah asked me to get a couple of boxes of the cereal so he could fish out all the marshmallows and give just the marshmallows to his friend. Totally goofy, but I ran with it because well, I can't stop generosity. Justin gave his friend an old DS game he had because he had promised his friend he would get something for him. And Keturah is working on gifts for her cousins in NOLA (but why not her other cousins? Sigh. This is the part that makes me sad. My kids don't even think about my siblings and their kids.) |
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| Did you know that the name brand Lucky Charms is gluten free? It is! Not for those with an allergy because testing practices aren't that accurate, but those with just sensitivities can enjoy them just fine. And yes, Benaiah and I will eat the cereal without the marshmallows. Yum! |
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| AND AND AND Benaiah received the Student of the Month award! Out of 60 or so students! Way to go! Sharks are the school's mascot, so that's why it's a shark award. Congrats, B! |
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| She hardly ever takes off that Santa hat! But she's working on a Christmas gift very diligently! |
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| Making lunch at 11:30 pm lunch for the next day. Late night buddies, he and I. |
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| Abishai will remove the magazines on the coffee table at Jared's work so he can play with his cars on it. "My table. My cars." |
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| Poor Grandpa and Daddy have to constantly wipe away those fingerprints and rearrange the magazines after little guy has been there. We were only there for about 10-15 minutes today, but in under 1 minute, Abishai took off his backpack of cars he insisted in bringing inside, zipped down and took off his coat and hat, and took off his shoes and socks. |
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| Daddy put the kids to work filling an order. I was surprised to find that they knew exactly which books he wanted. |
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| Gathering all the books. |
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| Playing hide and seek. |
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| Time to print the address label. |
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| The big bundle! Do you own all of these yet? |
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| I had a coupon last night for different teas, including this one. It's good but there are a couple of ingredients I'm not sure should be in there. It also included licorice but I didn't taste it. |
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| They rolled up and down the hallway in Kidustrial Park. I know that the rugs aren't the cleanest, but what can I do? Laundry and baths later. |
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| Running races! And practicing colors! Abishai was telling Daddy which color rug to go to. |
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| Abishai said that this was his new house. And the decorations were the door. |
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| A friend called Abishai's cars a parade as she walked by. I never thought about it like it because they aren't usually in single file like this. They are usually in more of a parking lot or car lot set up. |
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| This guy. This guy insisted that he carry his own heavy backpack full of little cars everywhere we went today. He can get it on and off by himself. And he said he got hot with the sweatshirt and coat, so we left the coat off for the rest of the day. But he wanted the hat. The hat that my mom made. I love that. He also says, "I'm a big boy. Put up paci." and then puts his paci up on the bookshelf during his awake hours. Hopefully he'll feel the same way with potty training in January. But this guy. He might be short and small, but his mind and abilities are endless! |
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