Year 3, September 6th, 2018: Having the Support You Need

This post is partly a space holder.  I wrote a long, intimate post detailing the events of today, but I think it's a little too sensitive to post it so soon.  However, if I decide to post later, I want it to be in chronological order, so here's a summary without all the details.

Today was some friends' 16 yr old son's funeral.  The youth leaders also held a very special service just for the youth group kids to have a special time to be with one another, cry, ask questions, and support one another.  I went to both.  I cried at both.  The funeral was straight forward and well attended.  The youth service was also well intended and very beautiful and incredible.  I felt out of place a bit at the youth service b/c a) I'm not a youth and b) I'm not a youth sponsor either, but here's why I went.  First, I just wanted to be near the teens and see how everyone was doing.  I wanted to be with humans, not connect through a screen and text.  I also was curious to see how a healthy group of people process something like this.  I wanted to know how I should interact with the teens in my life and just watch the whole process.  I personally needed more quite space to process it myself.  And despite trying, I was having a hard time putting aside my grief into a box to pull out later to process when I was home with the kids who didn't understand.  I'm extremely glad I went.  I really wanted to be a teen during that 1 1/2 hrs.  The love and support in that room was incredible.  I didn't partcipate in all the activites, but they had times of prayer in groups of 6-8 people, there were a lot of hugs and tears, worship music, timse to be silent and meditate on Scripture, and a time to ask questions with leaders that had been prepared to receive these teens.  The Holy Spirit was definitely moving in that room.  I know that in Crave every Sunday night it isn't exactly like this, but I also know they do have more interactive moments that build fun and intimacy and deepen relationships than a typical Sunday School class.  The atmosphere in that group of kids was electrifying.  I was blown away by it all.

I needed to see that.  I needed to see what my children experience on a weekly basis.  I now know why we are brought back here.  My kids need to be here.  This is their home, where they will grow, with us and their youth sponsors and their peers walking them through these last few growing up years.  This is where they have ample opportunity to serve in the church.  I wish that we had had this kind of outward support when we were going through our own awful events the last 6 months in Canada.  We had a few couples that came alongside of us for the darkest moments, and a handful of people there that didn't know our whole story but lent a helping hand when we asked for it, but it just didn't feel the same as it did last night with these kids.  It makes me so sad.  I pray for Canada a lot.  I pray for hardened hearts to be softened.  I pray that change is welcomed in their churches, beginning with their leadership.  I pray for the kids growing up there in a decent environment that would be even better if the grown ups would just let it be.  If part of our trials had happened here in Indiana, we would have been treated very differently.  And that makes me so sad, too.  I'm not judging them.  Maybe they don't realize how hurtful they were.  And I do want something better for them.  I want them to be healthy, vibrant, growing churches.   And some are, but most aren't.  And it's not just there, but in churches everywhere.  I'm just glad that we had to come home, we had to retreat, and find healing here in this church family.  We are where we belong in this chapter of our story.  It is here that we are KNOWN, VALUED, and LOVED no matter what.