Year 4, November 8th-11th: The End is in Sight!

Between seeing the dentist yesterday for a crown, the gynocologist for a follow up on the polyps and the dermatologist for follow up and another skin check on the melanoma today, and a normal 6 month check up with the PCP and a normal counseling appointment on Monday, you'd think I'd be all up to date and stable again.  Well, let's hope! Crowning went fine, but feels pretty weird and I'm not crazy happy about it.  I'm going to give that a few more days to settle.  My bite just doesn't feel "normal." The gynecologist appointment went great and yes, we should keep on an eye on things, but she said said that even the cyst feels smaller from the outside!  Yeah!  She can't tell for sure, but she had checked it out be feeling it while she was in the uterus for the polyps.  She also said that everything looked nice and clean and complications from that surgery.  I'll have another ultrasund in a few weeks just to be sure about the cyst, which is what I expected and wanted. So that's fine.  And then I sat in my car and read and went on social media in the parking lot so a) I wouldn't spend money at stores b) I wouldn't pay to park at the garage at  the dermatologist and c) to have some quiet time because I knew I will have had extra social time today, tonight and tomorrow.  Well, I thought I had left on time for my next appointment, but then looked at my phone and I was off by 15 minutes!  My appointment was at 3:15, not 3:30! Whoops! That's what I get for having so many different appointments so close together!  So I phoned the office and told them I was literally on the IUPUI campus and will be there hopefully within their 15 minute grace window.  I do pride myself on being a few minutes early to appointments because I know how precious time is to doctors. I hate waiting on people too if I'm expecting them.  I don't mind too much when I have to wait on the doctors because I know they are busy.

It was a little crazy because it was 3:30, downtown, and I had to be at church at 5:30.  So I told myself to take a deep breathe, this is more important, it's my own fault, but nothing is an emergency, all is well.  I was the last patient in the office, but my doctor treated me like I was the first one.  She took her time and checked everything over carefully.  My scar looked good she said and that if it's still a inflamed and bothersome, they can give me an injection to help.  But then, she found two more spots she wanted to remove.  Now, both of these spots, she had seen the last time, but I understand that it's hard to a) catch everything at once and b) sometimes lighting or how long you spend looking at something can change your mind, so I kind of expect more to crop up over time.  She removed one on my right shoulder, and then hemmed and hawed over one on my right shin.  She pitifully said, "Can I please take this one, too?" (speaking of the one on my leg).  She had stared at it for awhile.  I said, sure, go ahead. Yeah, that's a complete 180 for me, isn't it?  Well, I'm much calmer when I've been through the process a couple of times.  Will I be upset if I have to have more surgery?  Absolutely because financially, we can't afford it and I just don't want to deal with the pain again. But whatever, we do what we have to do.  Same goes with the polyps and cysts. I'll survive now because I know what my personal protocol is and I have the items I need already on hand. I'll probably feel way worse about this tomorrow when the pain and itchiness settles in and I have time to process.  But I also just didn't have time to worry.  Just get 'er done.  I've got things to do.  Make me healthy.

And that's what I told myself all the way home.  I'm grateful I live close by to 1,000's of medical professionals at many large hospitals and their systems and despite having a large co pay, I still don't have to pay for all of it.  Yesterday at the dentists' office, when I wasn't really sure of the process, I kept telling myself, whatever is going on here is much better than being in a third world country where the only procedure they do is pulling the tooth and dispensing antibiotics.  My dentist goes on medical mission trips at least once a year to India and/or Haiti and does just that. At least I get to keep my tooth and have a better biting surface! On a side note, when the assistant asked him about color matching the teeth, he said to her, "She doesn't care, " meaning, yeah, he knows me well enough to know that I want health over beauty and I've never been concerned with teeth whitening or even braces. He was spot on.  I really don't care because it's towards the back anyways. I'm sure the assistant did some color matching, but it wasn't a top priority.

Traffic wasn't horrible, which is good.  Tonight and tomorrow morning is "The Talk" and I'm doing it with Keturah.  Yes, it's sex education.  Well, it's anatomy and talking about God's design for our bodies and his design for sex. It's not about the how to's or other birth control methods.  It's mean as a starting point for having the other conversations with your kids. And I hate to admit it, but once again, I learned something!  I was just at the gynecologist today even and I still didn't know some anatomy things about the male reproductive system.  Goodness!  How embarrassing!  And that's the whole point of going.  Ever since my mom did a horrible job (sorry, Mom!) at telling me anything about this (I think she thought the True Love Waits program did more than it did about anatomy and birth control methods) I wanted to make sure I told all my kids openly, honestly, and well.  They aren't going to go into dating and marriage blindly and get pregnant right away because they didn't understand how it all works. In hindsight, I really wish we had been here when Benaiah was in middle school or I had taken the initiative to find something like this at a younger age.  I guess we could have done it in his freshman year, but we were caught up with moving back.  I threw a book about dating at him and have talked about a few things, but I don't think I've done a great job and Jared won't bring it up. Jared did go threw the program with Justin, but didn't do any follow up. I've been the follow up. And honestly, I don't mind because I like to know exactly what my kids have been taught and had been anticipating these talks for 20 years. Now, I have slightly tweaked my opinions a bit after listening to some atheists and progressive Christians talk about purity culture, just in making sure the focus isn't on the guilt and shame of it. But that's more in the phrasing of it, rather than the overall message of abstinence is best until marriage. The two older ladies who do this are health teachers in middle schools and definitely know how to teach and get the kids to respond.  I'm learning a little bit even of how to do that! They are funny, yet serious. They are definitely NOT what you expect if you were to see them from a distance.  I love their spunk! Oh, and their humor is NOT sarcastic either. Anyway, I'm impressed.  I'm very interested in how they will approach purity tomorrow. I want to be able to go back to the atheist/progressive Christian and tell them that what they were taught is NOT what is always taught in our Christian culture. So, we'll see.

Meanwhile, kids. Our kids are independent and fine. They apparently did their schoolwork and screentime and had lunch.  Grandma watched Abishai for me since I was gone longer today.  Jared also came home early,  Keturah and I did come home to the males wrestling each other, but at least the kitchen was mostly cleaned up.  Benaiah had a brunch date with Ava and then worked 5-close tonight.  We had CFA for dinner at "The Talk" but Benaiah didn't help prep that catering order because the event started at 5:30. One of the youth staff had asked via email if anyone had dietary needs, so I spoke up and she ordered me a salad.  I think I was the only one who needed an alternative, and I try not to impose, but she had asked, so I answered.  It was super yummy and really, I needed the veggies.  I don't eat nearly as much fiber as I need to.  It was one of those market salads with the strawberries and blueberries and my choice of dressing with blue cheese and super soft and thinly sliced chicken.  Oh my.  I love that CFA cuts the grilled chicken like that!  Keturah had a CFA sandwhich, waffle chips, cookie, and a mountain dew.  I had SWEET and I mean SWEET CFA tea!  I'll probably be up all night but wow, I didn't realize how sweet it is!  We only ever get the unsweet tea.  Next time, I think I might go for that instead of pop! Yummy!

Abishai said, "Don't make the bed, Mommy.  This is my monster truck dirt track." What a great imagination!

How cute is this? Wanting to play and yet be near Mommy all day.  I took my time getting out of bed because I knew the rest of the day was not going to be gentle on my body.

Abishia's monster truck dirt track aka our wrinkled bedspread.

I had forgotten to take a good picture of Justin's Kinex "fork" the other day.  I think it looks more like a trident.  And he made this without a picture to go by.

On a whim, I quickly made a Thankful Turkey out of just construction paper.  I had Abishai help me with the gluing.

Not too shabby for free hand drawing, at least for this non artist! I used to do something similar in concept with the older kids, but they got bored of it and it's not something I choose to fight over. But when I do remember that I have a preschooler in the house who hasn't had the same memories as the older kids, it's fun to pull it out and try again.  We aren't home in the evening together that often, so I'll have the kids do it at breakfast or lunch.

Here's my inspiration for it.  I didn't need to buy some new fangled thing but it was a great reminder of what I could do with things on hand.  We will probably add to our turkey throughout December as well.

Since today was the dermatologist appointment, I thought I'd take an updated photo of my scar.  There she is!  It's been a bit irritated and redder lately, but I think that's just from wearing long sleeves and the drier air.  I've been putting lotion or essential oils on it daily.  The dermatologist said if it's still iriitated, or gets worse, before/at our next appointment in 3 months, she can give me an injection (of steroids? antihistamines?) to calm it down.  No I'm not crazy about the bulges on the top and bottom.  And all the little holes from the stitches, but I know those will at least fade.

Praise the Lord my blood pressure is back to normal!  It WAS the estrogen in the birth control pills!  Never again will I take those darn pills! I did also take a supplement for a month to get rid of the extra estrogen.  Yeah!

Our new neighbor's house has walls!  Woot! Woot!

She hates getting her picture taken.  Oh well.  I'm not making this a big "life changing" moment anyway because it's already something we talk about at home, relationships and sexual activity.

CFA, always! You can never get enough of it!  Yes these bags were here on Sunday.  I'm sure they were returned and then brought back full of yummy goodness again! They make up the catering boxes and then keep just the chicken sandwhiches in the bags.

My grilie actually played nine square! I talked with the mom of  the twins that Keturah likes and she said they talk about Keturah often and love her.  So I feel like I'm getting mixed messages here.  Maybe she perceives people like I do, that they don't really like us, when in fact they do.  Keturah does mention the twins though and wants to sit with them tomorrow.  However, I don't want to be rude to the people that were sitting with us because they are not from our church.  But I'll definitely get the twins' mom's number!

A friend sent me some pictures from a post about preschool crafts.  This is a pictograph using leaves!

Ooo, I like this one! and then you can just take it apart and put the stick and leaves back in the compost pile! #preschoolcrafts

Ugh, Keturah and I had to get up at 7:30 to be at church by 8:30 for the rest of "The Talk."  But there was breakfast pizza! And Keturah ate 4 pieces of it over the course of the morning.  She was so full that she didn't eat lunch!  She also confessed to drinking two Mountain Dews last night and one this morning. Plus she emptied the candy jar that was on the table. Good grief! Anyway, I checked in with her often to make sure she understand the vocabulary and to see what gaps we had in me teaching her things.  There were only a few things.  She seemed to be listening.  However, on the way home, she didn't want the little white box symbolizing the gift of sexuality that should be saved until marriage.  She said she didn't care. Well, I put it aside in my room because hopefully, prayerfully, she'll care at some point. There is a lot of things I have looked forward to with her and right now, it's not going as well as I had hoped.  I mean, she's much better than she was with me 6 months ago, but I'm worried that we won't have the mother/daughter bond by the end of her teen years.  It kind of scares me.  I wasn't close to my mom, but I didn't fight her either.  I told her a few things about Jared and such and shared lots of great memories of going to concerts and taking a college road trip with her. So, I pray that Keturah and I can get through this stage and come out well on the other end.  We did learn a few more things today, like typically when a girl weighs 92 lbs, she'll start to ovulate and have her period.  And guess what? Keturah is 93 lbs!  I probably was that as well when I started, and when we got married, I was 98 lbs. Fun fact!  We also talked about social media safety a bit.  Oh, and there was more of an emphasis on having value and being loved by God than there was on the word purity and guilt and shame associated with "losing" it. It was mentioned, but in the context of ways premarital sex can affect you physically, emotionally, mentally, socially, and spiritually.  I was impressed and can't wait to tell the YouTubers who harp on the damage the purity culture has done on them that not all programs are like the ones we went through 20-25 yrs ago.

Lots to think about it, and that's why when I came home I wanted to just rest.  And that's what we did.  Jared planted some shrubs in the front garden and then we took a nap together while the boys had screen time. I guess the boys had already had some screen time in the morning, and they ended up with extra this afternoon, so no screen time tomorrow.  Benaiah got up just in time to check email and go to work.  He really didn't want to go of course, but ya gots ta. He ended up with next Thursday and Friday off and wants to stay home all day on Friday.  I teased him and said, "Maybe I should plan something then, lol." We do have our first gym day of the season, so probably not going to do anything after that. The rest of the week will be quieter, too.  I think.  After two appointments on Monday and a possible shopping trip for me, maybe Keturah? Who knows. Onward to Sunday!

Woot! Woot! This should be a great movie, very similar to "I Can Only Imagine."

Another day, another biopsy.  Close up of the one on my leg.  I don't like the way it looks at all.  I scratched this one open often, so maybe it's just a build up of scar tissue, but honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if we need to take more off and/or do another surgery like the one on my arm. I'm to the point of "just take care of it" so the shock of any news as worn off.  Ok, that's not true.  If it's something way worse than my arm, I'll be upset. Goodness, I better be prepared for that type of news.

The other spot is on my right shoulder in the middle of this picture. It looks like it came off a bit cleaner than the one on my leg and looks likes how the ones on my back did.  I'm not worried abut this one.

A couple of fun, or not so fun, statistics from over the weekend.  Just a reminder to talk to teens not just once, but 100's of times about these things.

Meaning, talk to them BEFORE they are pressured to be active.

Somonee was sad that big brother wouldn't come out to play.

Biggest pout ever while wearing Big Brother's shirt.  It had to be the blue one with the strings so he could cinch up the hood around his face.

Evening building time includes making yet a another new police car garage.

Daddy worked on the crane making it look more real.

I came into the kitchen and looked over and saw this.  Say waht?!  Hi there Mr. King of all the Couches.

Justin's been misplaced! There wasn't enough room or space to get up on the couch and not enough room on the couch itself, so Socks chose Justin's couch.

Socks' new throne!

Awww, look at that face!

It's a perfect fit!

Sunday was straight forward, but my mind was blown when Tom Harrigan linked talking about the Tabernacle to sexual purity (and other righteousness), and being obedient because God gave out exact directions about how to build the Tabernacle. Ok, then, God, message received.  And then at lunch, I said one little comment about how Ava and Benaiah balance each other out with money because she's a saver and he's a spender and I get the talk about not talking about them getting married and "don't awaken love."  Um, too late, love was awakened a long time ago, but hasn't been acted upon as far as I know. So, my brain is done.  Too many things connecting and reconnecting.  I can't think critically anymore or defend myself.  I'm so tired of defending my point of view and I need to stay off YouTube videos that are controversial.  Anyway, it was a good afternoon for most part, and kids had their youth group things.  The End.  Well, not really.  There was some tension when Eliot came over, but that's going to happen when you become familiar with each other.  Let's just say, I'm going to butt into the conversation a bit more next time.

Yup, that was Sunday.  It was a beautiful day outside, and the kids did jump around some on the trampoline. And I tried to figure out a system of uploading pictures for Ava somewhere on the iCloud. She wants pictures of her and Benaiah just because she's curious. But it's proven a bit more difficult and I'm a bit frustrated because now I have to set it aside to focus on the regular stuff this week like school, appointments, Abishai's t-shirts, maybe some shopping for me tomorrow, etc. One day, and one thing, at a time, yes.  Now I'm going to go veg out and let my intellectual side rest, lol.

Are you comfy, puppy? Lol.

Oh boy, are you ready?  I think our shovels are close to the front of the garage or on the front porch.  Yippie!  And I have to go run errands tomorrow!

It's a good thing I got pictures of this newly rebalanced crane this morning because it got destroyed this afternoon.  I'm kind of upset about it.  Abishai would have had made good use out of it for at least a few more days.  I might rebuild it tomorrow.

Again, are you comfy, dog?  He's so bold to do it during the day now! We don't sit on the couches that often anyway, so it's ok.  And only a little bit of hair is being left behind. Poor old puppy.

Ditch the wicks!

Jared planted about 6 new plants in this area.  Now Abishai can't jump from rock to rock though. And we don't know if the front plants will need more dirt.  Also, I guess we'll have to just use the weed wacker from now on on those little patches of grass.  Hm,....

Yes, buddy, those pants actually have pockets!  Now you don't have to put your cold hands down your pants in between your underwear and your pants to keep them warm.  Lol.

I'm getting a little more worried about this biopsy from my leg. I wish I could just call my doctor up and email her a picture instead of going in.  I might still give her a call early in the week because the results won't be in until the following week.  The timing of results won't make or break any next steps.  I'm just really worried we are going to have to do another surgery.  It's just so hard to tell.  Sigh.

Well, Benaiah just walked in from youth group and I asked him if I stepped out of line at lunch today and he said no. That kid tells me so much about his relationship with Ava and I'm so grateful.  Where Keturah and I still have a lot of work to do, at least I can my vision for this stage of life fulfilled in the way I had hoped it would be. It makes me so happy to hear what Benaiah has to say.  Oh, and he is legally able to drive Ava this week and Ava can legally drive him next week.  That's another natural next step!  I'm like "Go for it and quit wasting gas!" He also said the official curfew is now 1am, so what are our rules.  I said, be reasonable. I think 10 is a tad too early sometimes, especially with a later movie time, but I would prefer him be home by 11, unless he started watching a movie at a friend's house and it won't be done until midnight or something.  We'll see.  Be reasonable. And if we need to, then we'll set an exact time. I know Amy won't let Ava out too late anyway. Trust and grace with teens. They are almost adults. Loosen up the reins a bit while they are still in the corral. They are doing just fine.

Last day of being away from home. I had a follow up with my PCP, so I got to update her on what has been happening the last few months.  We ordered a big round of labs to check up on everything, and most of the naturopath's labs are included, so I think I'll just use the PCP's lab test for now because they are covered by insurance.  All is well, except my blood pressure was a bit high today.  Sigh. Not sure why it was and it did come down over the course of the appointment.  Then I went upstairs in that building to make sure I was see the gyno after I get the follow ultrasound, and I hadn't been, so I got that straightened out.  Then I stopped at Starbucks on my way to the mall, where got my usual annual peppermint mocha.  I found out that my Starbucks card has $38 left on it!  That means I can get a few more peppermint mochas over the next few weeks.  By the time I was driving the 10 minutes to the mall, the coffee was the perfect temperature and how so sweet, so I drank it all.  First time I've drinking a fresh Starbucks drink that fast. At the mall, I went to Old Navy to take back my shirts that were too small and to figure out what exact size I am and take advantage of the 50% store wide "family" sale (if you use your old Navy card.  I found some things, including a winter jacket, and ordered others.  I'm pretty happy to buy a new winter coat $30 and jeans for $20 that will flatter me.  I bought two types of jeans for Keturah so she can try them on and see what size she is and then we can order online. I'll do a "haul" once I figure out if I spent wisely or not.

Meanwhile, the kids did their schoolwork and dwatched Abishai.  I told Justin that "the best" had already eaten 4 chicken nuggets, a bowl of pickles, 1/2 cup of oatmeal and raisins, and was still hungry.  The beast already pooped for the day, too.  Then Grandma came over after crochet to break up the afternoon a bit. Tomorrow, Wednesday, and Thursday we are home during the day all day. So we'll catch up in the morning. I hurried home, cooked dinner, and then headed back out to the same area in Greenwood for my counseling appointment.  Meanwhile, it had started to snow mid afternoon and by 6:30pm it was thick and heavy and I had to slow down quite a bit!  Thankfully, I take the back roads where I don't see much traffic and I can take my time.  I felt like I was driving in the beginning of a PEI snowstorm where everyone is trying to get safely home before a 2 day snow storm hits.  But, alas, it was a just a few hrs of snow and it slowed down before I left my counseling appointment.  And the salt trucks had been out, so the roads were clearer. Now we wait for Benaiah to make it home in his tiny truck. Hopefully it was a slow night and he can get out of work quickly. I hope we do get to see and play in the snow in the morning, though! Woot! Woot!

Uh oh.  That's not what I expected.  Thankfully, the doctor manually took my blood pressure and it ended up at 128/82 at the end of the appointment. Still, we need to keep an eye on this.

Hm,....short, high rise size 12 pants help a lot!  And a belt, too.  Still have some work to go though.

Are these "worn" look really a thing?  I have several pants I had to give up because it naturally happened in them.  Maybe I should get those out.

I like this color, but the shirt is too small and shows too many curves.  The shirt is like a very light soft sweater though, so I rebought it in a bigger size.

Peppermint Mocha just in time for Christmas! Oh wait, it's not Christmas yet.  But my friends are putting up their trees!  And it's snowing!  Come on!

Heavy wet snow!

Nothing to say here except, I wish this was the begginning of a lot of snow, but it will all melt every time.  Sigh.

BRRRR it's a good thing we are staying home tomorrow!

One of my purchases.  What do you think of this headband?

He loves snow, too.

Lots of giggle time with big brother! #picklechin

Yes dog, it's snowing.

Justin was trying to make Abishai "eat" the marshmallow in a certain way but it made Abishai laugh!

This describes their relationship to a "T"!

Daddy made some snow ice cream!  (Snow, vanilla, sugar!)

I don't want to try it, Dad!

Ok, one taste.  Nope.

Justin - Yummy!

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Nice big storm! (and there's not lightning, that's just an ad.)

Crunch, crunch, crunch.

Poor pumpkins and scare crow girl is sleeping (she's laying down).  Abishai was concerned about her.

My leg wound looks like it has a ring of infection around it beyond the edge of the biopsy site.  I'm not happy.  I don't want to go downtown this week.  Hm,.....time to get out essential oils and put them around the wound, never in it.

Say what?!  This is the one on my back?! Why is it not perfectly round?  Ugh! I've never been so worried about scarring before! Eek!

Grandma caught Abishai after he came inside from playing in the snow and getting pinches of it to eat.

And that's that. Now, let's hibernate!

The End