Year 5, July 24th-26th, 2020: And So It Begins

Oh the last bit of the race. Benaiah's off to his last youth group event, the pseudo CIY. And he's texting me about his checking account. Dude, put down your phone and ENGAGE with people! And in one week's time, we will have that open house. I'm overwhelmed and stressed as I sit down tonight because I haven't done what I wanted to do before company came this week. And I'm too emotionally drained/can't make decisions right now to do it. Not sure what tomorrow will bring either. I don't have a clear picture of what will happen this week with the beds. I need I wrap my head around it and be flexible, that whatever happens, happens and if the project isn't finished, it's not finished. I will deal. But I'm also emotionally drained from some difficult familial relationships. I need to rest my emotions tomorrow as I head into a Johnson 12 week. And I need to keep up with my meds and showers and anything else that will help with my pain and sunburn and greasy hair. I like my hair, but now, it's getting greasier because it falls out sooner from the ponytail and I'm constantly tucking it behind my face. Sigh.

After a long and difficult texting session, I had to impromptu tackle the front flower bed because I didn't want Justin doing the trimming. We couldn't get all the trimming done because Grandpa wanted to do yard work today with just a 4 hr notice. Not helpful when the kid already made plans at 2pm, the worst part of the day to do yardwork. But Justin needs money so off he went. Our kids are going stir crazy and Jared and I can't keep up. We don't know how to discipline them into calming down a tad or to stop arguing about petty things or to stop laughing about passing gas. Enough is enough. We need a break. Grandparents better be ready to receive some kids next week. Tomorrow is another new day. I have to make my tentative plan and work my plan. I don't know what Jared will do. He's saying his sciatica is acting up because he hasn't stretched it. Not good if we want to get work done. What it comes down to is that nothing matters except the open house. Nothing. This week, everything else can slide. IAHE, reaching out to family, working out, etc. I will get done, what I get done. And I will be satisfied if I've used my time on what I want to do right now, and that's celebrate our son the best I can with whatever restrictions are in place. We've been dreaming of this for years. I am going to make it happen.

One funny for the day was at lunch when Abishai wanted to be a car and asked for "fuel" and "gas" aka a popsicle. I played right along and said we can pretend a cheesestick is a popsicle. Ok? Yup, it was, and he got refueled and took off. We also got some school food from the neighbor. I'm not sure what district they went to, but it wasn't the same stuff we had been getting. We used a bunch of it at dinner tonight because I didn't know how old it was. There was breadsticks with cheese in the middle! And corn. We also at hamburgers and leftovers. Then Abishai, Jared and I took a walk with Socks. Abishai and I ran part of the way and in the moment it felt great! I felt almost "normal" before fibromyalgia hit. But now that I'm sitting down, I'm miserable. But at least I didn't tire as easily! We went down the hill and saw the bridge construction. Abishai giggled about the port o potty. He likes them because they are used as portals in Fortnite. Then we walked the rest of the block. They played video games and I puttered. And now my calves are aching! It's a good thing I have lots of things to help with pain!

I did plenty today. I weeded and trimmed the flower beds. I answered emails. I made phone calls for IAHE and to fix financial things and pay medical bills. I talked to my brother for 30 minutes. I argued with my sister for probably upwards of an hour. I put together dinner. Yup. I did enough. Oh, and God showed up and we had some money from a rebate program with our checking account for using our debit card as a credit card over the last 3 years dumped into our account today! It's going to cover probably a lot of the open house food! Woot! Woot! And our friends tested negative for Covid-19! Happy tears! Maybe we can see them again sooner than we hoped! So, there's a few positives to help erase the sting of the negatives for a little while. I guess I'm just going to have to keep crying about the negative until I am ok with it not resolving. But it's painful. And I don't understand. But I have gobs of friends. I can't let a handful of relationships dictate who I am. Not when my best friends have my back and accept my passion and accept my lifestyle. Nope. I'll stick to who I am, thanks. But it still hurts that they don't like me, my lifestyle, or whatever else they find wrong with me (my relations). It hurts and leaves a gaping wound. Like a nasty divorce where one walks out and the other wants to reconcile. Unless two parties want to reconcile and put in the work, there will be no reconciliation. Oh, and the notion that it's not easy to keep up with people that live far away? Um, not for me it isn't. It's because my social life is online. I talk to people all over the world. It's easy to keep track if you use social media. But some don't use social media. Not my fault. Sending out a message on FB is as easy as sending a text. And for the record, I do NOT have a bad "aura" about me. That was hurtful, too. I get defensive sometimes. But I'm not bad. Not at all. Not at all. That bad aura is the other person's feeling of conviction when I speak the truth and it hurts. So, we part ways. I have a show to run. I have a kid to celebrate with my real friends and family. And I'll cry because my parents aren't there. And my siblings won't be there. None from my family. Instead of having two celebrations like we did for our wedding 19 years ago, we will have one. One with the people we love here. And plenty of well wishes from abroad. One with the people who have helped us raise our kids. One with the people who accept us as the J6 and love us. And that's what matters. Most of the time.

Awww, such babies! Justin and Keturah, their love/hate relationship still going strong!

Someone wanted to say that the word "version" is not the right word, but I disagree. At least, it helped me see this concept in a different light. "Perception of" might be a better term. But this was a timely post today for me.

I go to work with Dad!

Totally! But Jared still claims, "Pretty girls don't bubble (fart)!"

When you have to restring the weedwhacker and you weren't expecting to do yard work at all today. Poor Justin.

Jared answered these questions on Twitter. I love his answers!

Easy, he works, I spend!

Nailed it!

Since when does Jared do these silly games on social media? I guess today's the day!

And another Creek staff member is going to have a baby! Either there's something in the water OR all our pastors are now younger than us and just starting out. I'm feeling old.

Justin's trick that made Abishai laugh.

We walked down the hill to see the construction site near our house. They are totally rebuilding the bride.

They tore up the street itself!  Why?

New large rocks for drainage to the stream.

Jared said he wanted to steal the street sign. Goof!

Aww, so cute!

I didn't work out but that little walk help me reach my step goal today!

Favorite way to read books and do Bible stories on Jared's phone before bed. But, it will end within a month. We need this space back for school.

Another pretty Indiana sunset.

Saturday, Jared woke up with not only a sore back, but a sore shoulder. He thinks when he was laying on his stomach watching something on his laptop on our bed last night, he tweaked something. Therefore, he didn't get a lot of things done today. He worked on mowing all the way down to the dirt around a few of his trees because he heard that it's better for them. And he watered outdoor growing things. And he looked at the pallets and moved them to the side of the house. Uh, still not clean enough for me. I am not going for the rough look, I was going for the cheap and easy look, or ones that looked the ones that the church uses for things, that are smooth and clean. Well, ok, whatever, I'll work on it if and when I have time. After my last workout for Barre Blend and my shower, I did work on getting all of Benaiah's stuff out that I want to display at the open house next weekend. I know it's too much. But I keep finding things to add. I didn't have enough time to arrange it yet, but it's all out ready for me to play with. I have a mountain of photo albums that I'm very proud of and have been looking forward to showing off. Plus, Benaiah, I guess, has been a very active kid and involved in many things, and has had many interests. All the things I've picked out so far has represented who he was/is. Maybe I'm doing too much. Maybe this is what we do for funerals, not an open house. But don't you want to show how they've progressed through childhood? I don't know. I hope there's no right and wrong in this. He's our first kid. He's accomplished a lot. It's too hard to choose!

In the middle of the day, Justin went to help pass out ice cream at the KP Camp drive through and church. They did a virtual camp day and then they could go to church to get autographs and ice cream. Keturah stayed home and watched "Hamilton: The Musical." I didn't have a chance to watch it before she did, but she's discerning enough. I think it's ok. She tried to explain a couple of things to me like how much swearing there was, but I don't remember what she said. She did notice that there was a LOT of singing and it was fast paced though. AND she noticed where some of the mics were placed on the foreheads of the actors! Maybe they were side mics and they could hide the wire in their Colonial style hair, I don't know. I guess I'll watch it at some point. But for now, I'll finish Poldark. And, I'm the coolest homeschool mom in the world right now. That's right. I bought not one, but TWO tricone hats AND a wig! We are going through that time period in history at the beginning of the school year and I just couldn't help myself. I can't wait to read our history read alouds wearing my new hat! They cost between $10-15 a piece. Not too bad, and it brings a smile to my face! It's fun to add things to the costume collection! Not that my kids have to dress up for a special school day or something or do a report in a costume...although....that would be fun! And memorable! We'll see!

And then late this afternoon I went to a friend's daughter's open house. We've known them for a very long time and we were in a small group together 10 years ago that met at our house. So, it was good for just me to go. I got out of the house, I got to be outside for 3 hrs, and I had some awesome conversations! I got to hear a lot of opinions, and practice agreeing or silently disagreeing with those opinions. Very civil. See, I can be a good friend, a good apologist, a good Christian, and mind my manners. It was a lovely evening! And now the fun begins with the cousins! And our anniversary! And the open house! Woot! Woot! And no workouts for a week! Well, maybe. Maybe I'll get bored standing at the counter and do some squats. Who knows! The pics are a bit out of order. I hope you can understand them! I'm not taking the time to be picky!

This hat is very moldable and worth it, although, yes, it looks more like a Captain Jack Sparrow hat than a Colonial tricone hat.

Ooo, I want to get Justin some other costume pieces to complete the look! I could just seem in those tights and breeches and shoes with buckles! Ah! Captain Poldark!

I need to work on the folding of this one to make it more like the black hat above. But it's cool either way!

I like the moldable hat and it's gorgeous suede and color but the rim is too big.

Worth reading my explanation. It also explains why I prefer colonial houses that are 200-300 years old vs. the 100-200 yr old houses in Indiana.

Should I wear this as I watch Poldark? Ponytail and all!

It's one week away! Ah! I'm not ready!

We are all good moms and after listening to two of my friends talk about their struggles this evening and being able to ask them direct questions, my heart goes out to them even more. I'm glad they feel free to share with me and know that I'm not judging them or going to push homeshcooling on them.

The extroverted kid with lots of interests.

Are these good enough?

It's his party, but this the first 6 years of his life. I made these. I'm proud of them. So many stories!

Never enough photos, am I right?

Early morning street fighter session.

The middle two were put in charge of Abishai today after he was in our faces from 7-9am.

Well, I can say I did ALL those workouts! All the crossed off ones I mean. I skipped a few to let my fibromyalgia flare ups die down. I'm grateful for a break. Now to find a maintenance program. And I think I tweaked my knee this morning.

My results. Not quite what I wanted and I just hope I don't gain those inches back. I need to work on my diet next.

Aw, he looks like a big baby! I love the color of the boys' CIY Move shirt! It's better than the standard black or white or blue ones. I'm getting said that we don't have much time left.

Baby face! He helped do tech for the virtual KP camp this morning. And it was fully LIVE STREAMED! Go tech team!

Adorable!  The Love/Hate relationship going strong between these two. Justin as the more loving one and Keturah with the hand that says, "Back off!" Too cute!

I'm probably going to hang these up on hangers on the edge of the photo pallets. They are various t-shirts that represent Benaiah's interest.

Sad day, probably 10 days ago, but I can't bring myself to get rid of it. This bowl was part of a set of bowls I bought I think at Wal-Mart in Marion, IN where I went to Indiana Wesleyan University for two years. I bought the set so I could make Cherry Winks for my dorm mates. When we moved into our first apartment. I had another bowl of a different size of this set in my hands, tripped on the stares, and broke the lid! That's when I figured out that plastic can break! I never should have put this bowl outside with the kids. It held their pool toys over the winter. Super bummed about it. But it did last me 21 years!

My first cooking bowl. 21 years of memories.

Antoher gorgeous Indiana sunset.

Sunday, Funday! The kids were bouncing off the walls to go see their cousins, so they got up earlier than normal and I sent them to Grandma's house at least an hour early so we could have some peace and quiet at home. Grandma was surprised to see them! We made it over to her house with just minutes to spare before church time. We watched the church service, although some of us were talking way too much at the beginning. And then Grandma made an amazing brunch for lunch! Yummy! ASEN (Aaron, Shauna, Everly, and Nora) were off to see Shauna's brother for the afternoon and we went home. Keturah had gotten a bee sting messing with something on Grandma's porch, so we wanted to take care of it right away. She was fine after a few hours. Meanwhile, I headed out to another open house for the afternoon. Leah was there for a little bit, too, but she didn't stay long. I, however, had a lovely conversation with the parents and another couple whom they had done ministry with 25 or so years ago. We also know the mom's parents through our church and college connections. We've known the family since Benaiah and Mallory (the graduate) were infants. We went to MOPS together for years and Benaiah and Mallory were sweet on each other when they were 5, 6, 7 years old. They are only a week apart in age. Mallory is shy, and I don't know her really at all anymore, but I also wanted to support her and her parents since we have a long standing friendship. The kind where you can pick up where you left off thanks to sort of keeping track of each other on Facebook. I mean, we still go to church together, but we didn't see them that often to talk to them. Anyways, I loved the unexpected chat about ministry, past and present. I loved talking to the two husbands about their love for Star Wars and geek stuff, lol. I even got to talk to their older daughter a bit. She's so sweet, too. I have a great picture of her and Keturah when Keturah was 3 years old I think. Their son, Jordan, is a year older than Keturah and was in all the kid choir musicals. He's a little (literally, he's so tiny!) genius of a kid and he knows it! So, it was fun catching up and just sitting still (it was pretty hot outside) and not thinking about anything at home. Poor Jared had to put together supper and I hadn't given him any ideas. Whoops.

That was Sunday. I was really, really tired though and went to bed super early and couldn't stay away to save my soul. That's why I couldn't even do the blog. Or focus on last minute photos for Benaiah. Eek! I need to get that done tonight! That's why I drank caffeine so late in the day! (I'm writing this on Monday night). Here's the pics and I'll pick up this conversation in a minute (for me at least) on the next blog post. See ya!

From 2011 at the doctor's office. The mohawk year for Benaiah. The blonde hair year for Abishai. And the cute chubby girl with the mullet for Keturah. So, ages 9, 6, and 3. I can still picture being in this moment, handing them things to draw with.

Absolutely! It's been hard for me, but I've truly accepted this as I've answered 100's of posts in the last couple of months.

A little bit of outdoor time after lunch, although the air was stifling!

Keturah got stung by a bee or something. This is after we put some anti sting topical gel on it that draws out the stinging sensation. I think this was about 30 minutes after application. It was much redder so I gave her oral Benadryl as well, an adult dose. My sister, whom Keturah takes after, is very sensitive to stings (thankfully not life threatening), so I wanted to make sure we gave Keturah as much relief as soon as possible. When  I got home several hours later, the redness had disappeared! We also used a topical Benadryl gel too for itching. She's been stung before. The only one who hasn't been stung yet is Abishai. No one is deathly allergic so far, thank goodness!

We didn't really get a chance to talk to our nieces much because we were in a rush to do church, lunch, and move on I guess. But apparently Everly has a thing about cutting strips into the bottoms of t-shirts and tying them together with beads. Interesting!

I'm busy, Mom!

He wanted me to build with him, but still can't stand when I do it "wrong" so I was sidelined. He is starting to treat Daddy the same way. Hm,...sounds familiar! i.e. I'm that way!

I just love how Abishai's PS4 controller has it's own spot under this little chair. This is a chair/step stool combo from my childhood where the back folds toward you in this pick and makes the step for the stool. But the controller, all safe and sound ready for action.

The End