Year 5, September 18th-20th, 2020: Procrastination Hits Hard

 Oh boy. As I write this, it's actually Saturday, September 19th. I haven't finished uploading and captioning photos for the Conner Prairie blog from Wednesday. I'm not sure I even wrote anything for Thursday yet. And we were out all day yesterday, Friday, so I definitely didn't write anything then. I don't know. I haven't been motivated to tackle it. I was behind in my book club reading. I hadn't started the new Bible study yet. And I hadn't finalized my thoughts about our American Revolution unit study. But I got all those done first, so here I am. Actually, I was hoping to do the blogging this afternoon after I read but before the kids left for Grandpa's house to do yard work, but I got distracted by making bookmarks for our book club book. And then I sent an email to the blogger that wrote the book, and they sent me a nice handout with some awesome looking bookmarks. Whoops! It doesn't hurt to ask though if they had a freebie at some point! I had gone to pinterest thinking someone had made bookmarks with the 10 questions that were in Ch. 11 of the Read Aloud Family by Sarah Mackenzie book, but the only pin I found led to a page that was no longer available. But I saw a picture that went with the pin that looked like it could have been a freebie for signing up at the website at some point in the past. So, I asked. And guess what? I received that same freebie! Sweet! I was concerned because they have a premium membership thing on their website, and while I'd love to support her efforts, I don't have time for the extras she provides. I listened to many of her podcasts going to and from gymnastics or from the condo to the church. So I knew about the membership then. Anyways, I just printed off that freebie and will give a copy to my friend when I give her the copy of the book I got her. Now I just have to be bold enough to walk over to her house and give it to her. I've been pretty busy, too.

Yesterday was a chilly park day at Lions Park in Cumberland, so not too far. We had I think about a dozen people show up and tons of kids of course. They all had a blast. Lots of conversations. The kids had their skateboards and roller skates. The playgrounds there are pretty decent, and there's lot of pavement for the skateboards. Oh, and tennis courts too. And a creek that the kids have gone down to a couple of times. We've been there before. Abishai was pretty clingy to start, but he finally let loose about an hour into the playtime. He took off his socks and shoes because another little girl and because he "wanted to feel the sand and the mulch with his feet." Those are his exact words! Great reason! And then he proceeded to start taking off his clothes and at first I was alarmed but then I saw he had his pjs still underneath. I had told him to take the pjs off before putting on regular clothes, but he must have snuck off and did it when I wasn't looking. Anyway, he was fine. Justin had a trail of kids following him as always. He's 15. Most of the kids are 7-11 yrs old. But he doesn't seem to care.

Then it was home again home again, jiggity jig. Some supper for the kids and then I was off to Moms Night Out with the same ladies I had seen a couple of hours earlier. We ended up just being the 5 of us. And that's fine. I was freezing and the black cherry lemonade was starting to hurt my stomach. Or maybe it was the mayo in the sandwhich. Orange cranberry club with gluten free bread and vegan chili. Just like I had last time at McCalister's. Oh, the kids did have Bible class at lunchtime before park day. Keturah must have stayed after hers at 1pm because she said she didn't get on the tablet until 2:30pm. 

So that was Friday. Today we started the day with going over Justin's homework and conducting the 2nd part of his pond study. We did see some microorganisms and noted the difference between the 4 cultures. But 3 out of 4 of them stunk so badly! I can't imagine what Wednesday's part 3 of the experiment will be like. But we were able to handle putting drops of the culture on the slide, putting on the slide cover and looking through my dad's old mircoscope, so mission accomplished. I cleaned the slides and droppers myself afterwards to make sure they were handled well and Justin put away the microscope. Fun stuff! Then I read, had lunch, kids went to Grandpa's to work, and I worked on our American Revolution history unit study. I've got a much better handle on it and notes to help me remember the plan, so here we go. Monday we have two appointments so I'm guessing that I won't be able to read history until Tuesday. I still have some printables and graphics to find, so I might work on that tomorrow. But much progress was made and the timeline is ready to be written on like I dreamed it will be. 

Oh, thinking of timelines and things that usually go on a wall, Jared bought chalkboard paint and wanted to paint the whole wall in the dining room with it. He wants to get rid of the red border, too. His reasoning was that someone gave us a brand new set of chalk/oil pastels. Uh, I have to double check but I think pastels are for paper, not the wall. But then when I was looking at that package and the one I had bought of oil pastels, they sounded different. I'll have to try out their consistency to really see. Great thought honey, but uh, no. I don't want a black chalkboard taking up that whole wall. It will make the room look too dark. Maybe do it below the red line. I thought I was putting my parents' mirror there. He did fix Keturah's bike today, finally, and she was giddy with excitement! And he worked on the treehouse/loft bed project. A board fell on his foot so now he's limping. And he's grumpy. Because I wanted him to work hard today. So he was working for me but not quite on the projects I had hoped for. But, I guess work on the outdoor one before it gets too cold out there. Because I was outside and cold most of the day yesterday, I didn't go outside today. I just have things to do! Maybe tomorrow!

Kids came home with money in their pockets so they were happy. Chores were done, but very reluctantly. We had washed their bedding so they all made their beds. Supper was a mismash of leftover meats and every boxed carb in the pantry I was tired of looking at. Leftover couscous and mashed potatoes packets from Benaiah, as well as a hot and spicy Chinese noodle cup. I warmed up frozen vegetables and we had ourselves a meal. And now the fridges and the pantry are ready to receive new groceries tomorrow. Yeah!

So I feel good about progress that was made today, but I'm sure I'll be back to feeling overwhelmed and procrastinating another day. Such is life.

See ya in two weeks!

Perfect day for this one! Fall is near!

Jared and I had a battle for the thermostat today. But my nose and hands were cold and 71 isn't high enough. Leave it alone! I can't put on more clothes!

Much better! Well, not the finger in front of the lens. I was in a hurry.

Abishai couldn't climb that, but he tried so hard!

A gaggle of homeschol kids.

Abishai tried this one, too, but he didn't want to be all thew wup. Smart move.

He conquered this though!

Yup.

My boys!

Benaiah stopped by with the car he thinks he's going to buy by the end it this week from his .

Time to make a timeline! I am so excited. Just like the one my mom put together for me that went and up and down the stairs. I loved my timeline. It's just so much easier to learn with something hands n.

Ta da! Mission accomplished.

Gotta have the tricone hair for American history!

Abishai was really tried from working outside for 2 years.

Ok, hopefully, I can still get the other blog done. But I'll go ahead and post my Facebook post here, because for me, it was another anger producing day at church. I can't seem to move past it, and I'm not sure I should. Jared doesn't feel the same way. I was going to take my mask totally off as soon as we sat down in the pew. But Pastor Dan in this beginning of the service announcements said that last week or even this week they have seen many people without masks on during the worship time and that people are afraid to come back until we all comply and wear our masks during worship time where the germs can be aerosoled. Poo! So, I wore my mask, under my nose, during worship, and took it off during the sermon. I only saw one other person take it off during the sermon. I wore it below my nose when I was walking around a bit, but would put it back up on my nose when I was close to people. People, I canNOT see when it fogs up my glasses. And I'm not going to spend money on more products to help that problem when I don't want to wear the mask in the first place. I scared a baby today by wearing one. It's just wrong.

So this is what I wrote:

If I haven’t made it abundantly clear by now, I hate the mask policy in every shape form and place. I have many reasons behind this, but on a gut level, I think it’s wrong. However, I will obey the mandates and policies in an establishment I’m in. I will do all the procedures correctly when I volunteer. When I’m talking and close to people, sure, I’ll make sure I’m covering my mouth at least. But you see, I can’t see when it fogs my glasses, so every opportunity that I can, I will take it off or put it under my nose.

It’s hard for me to go against the rules but at the same time, it’s hard for me not to question the establishment, whoever it is. I don’t operate with the mob. From the moment I was homeschooled, I became a rebel. I was taught to ask questions. Later I was taught to use the Bible as a tool to discern my views, yes, even when the topic is not black and white. So I ask myself, what does the Bible say in this situation? How do I reconcile my gut reaction and my selfishness and what the Bible says about leadership? How did the 1st century Christians use discernment? When did they decide to defy Rome? On what topics? I won’t argue with Christians over a mask because it is not a theological issue. It’s a matter of personal conviction and opinion. But when does that personal conviction become something you stand up for? When did the Founding Fathers decide enough was enough? They could have thought “well, maybe something good will come from being taxed on tea” but they didn’t. They believed it was morally wrong and decided to change their circumstances. I can NOT wait to go through this Revolutionary War unit with the kids. I don’t care if it takes a whole year. We are going to study the founding fathers’ own words. We are going to look into their Christian and deist faiths and how it influenced what they did and what they signed. When is enough enough?

I am still loyal to my communities and circle of friends no matter what they opinion and policies. But I understand why people have left churches and why they won’t go back until things change. They don’t fear the Covid virus. I certainly don’t fear the virus. (And trust, I personally know many who have had it in all its various degrees, it’s a nasty virus) I fear the oppression and ramifications of policies and mandates and the stress of cleaning more, of hybrid schooling, of a one year being afraid of me in nursery bc she can’t see my smile.

I can’t sit there with a mask on and pretend I’m doing it for someone else. I’m sorry. I don’t believe in the science. I don’t want to be confrontational and have someone tell me to put a mask on either. That’s my dilemma.

Seeing the reality of the state of the church bc of this controversy hurts me the most. It’s not reality. This can’t be the new normal. I don’t know that I’ll get used to it. Some day I’ll get bold and not wear it. Jared is not on the same page as I on this. So don’t go after him about it.

I try to see both sides. I try to dig deep and put away the selfish parts of my opinion. I try to make sure I’m using a Biblical lens. But just like I don’t believe the public school system is the best educational system for most kids, I don’t think masks and social distancing are best for everyone. My opinion. Not a Biblical fact. My conviction. Not yours.

So if you see me without a mask, leave me be. I’ll be feeling bold that day. I’m being the silent rebel (in public) I’ve always been. We are told to stand firm in our Christian beliefs but we, in this country, have freedom to stand firm in our personal convictions, too, without being condemned by our fellow Christians. I won’t tell you to take off your mask if you won’t tell me to put it on. Ok? Ok.

 

And a couple of my responses to a friend:

 

I try to support leadership. I try to triple check my feelings and base my opinions on facts or at least common sense and think about it for months on end. I felt a heavy upsetting presence at our volunteer kick off at church. I was physically reacting to see the sea of masks. I had to exit quickly after the mtg before making a scene. Same with today at church and last week. And I hate hate hate feeling that a church policy is wrong. These are my friends. They work so hard. They have people hating them on both sides of this particular issue. Ministry is a beast and not easy. But as people in ministry and in leadership, we have to be ultra careful with how we speak up. I get (why other people leave and I don't hold it against them). But we can’t just up and leave like that having the ties that we do. And our kids are doing ok and they need this social outlet. It’s only a couple of hrs a week. They wear their masks and follow procedures and I will never tell them otherwise. They don’t need that burden or to prove anything. But I will continue to seek out opportunities to be with people when and where we don’t have to wear masks. Our small group is located primarily in our neighborhood so it’s one of our Covid bubbles. Our homeschool play group is another one where we meet at a park and no one wears a mask. We’ve had a couple of friends over and it’s up to them if they want us to wear them or not. Praise the Lord we homeschool. I know it’s been a nightmare for many. For once, relying on one income has created peace. Our lifestyle hasn’t changed much. That’s why it’s still shocking to see the sea of masks, just like I still uncomfortable going to a party with alcohol. I drink alcohol on occasion but it just makes me uneasy. And I thought we’d have an explosion of in person numbers we church with the KP being opened but numbers are still low. It’s upsetting to see that. I know many families who have gone to other churches and completely left our church and while it’s upsetting, I totally understand. I would jump ship too if I didn’t have kids so highly visible and involved. So wherever your family worships is fine in my book. Indian Creek isn’t the only great church out there. Thanks for understanding

I’m so glad (my friend feels the same way I do). I’m sure we aren’t alone. It’s just hard to speak up. We want to be good Christians and obey our leaders. We don’t want to cause division. We shouldn’t cause division by stating our opinion. It’s not a salvation issue. But we can’t ignore our gut reactions, which when it’s like this and I’ve processed through, is the Holy Spirit. Gut reactions are good. It makes us think.

End Rant 

The conversation that followed my original post were interesting. A lot of friends agreed with me, and said they still wear the mask as directed when at church. One person got very agitated, but wasn't mean. So, I'm late finishing the blog, again. I haven't touched the Conner Prairie blog, again. But I must sacrifice the next hour or whatever to do it because it's got to get done for my own sanity.

But for the record, we all survived the wearing the masks thing. The kids won't rebel, promise. We've told them to follow the rules regardless of Mommy's opinions. And Abishai can put his own mask now. So, we're all good to go. And hopefully masks will stop being mandatory soon. What bothers me the most is that most of my friends are actually boycotting going to church because of the mask mandate. So, I'm not sure where our pastor and leadership is getting their information, but out here in the audience, there's a different sentiment going around. We shall see.

And on a different note, I was asking about if we can leave an office blank on our voting ballot and yes, you can in Indiana. But, that still means that the other party you really don't want getting in will win because your vote didn't negate it. I looked up the ivoterguide.com and read through things. I did see that the Liberatarian had similar views as me. So, I'll do my digging to see how she's doing in the polls before I make my final decision. The rest of the offices are easy picks. Straight party ticket perhaps. And we will vote in person. We'll see how it goes!

Kids had fun at Crave and small groups. Tomorrow is another busy day, so I better hop to it.

Abishai playing at Nolan's house.

Well, this stayed in my hair for 4 hrs today with no pins, but I wasn't moving around much. I just must have a weird head shape because no headband that goes fully around stays on my head. I don't know if this makes me look younger and hip with my outfit, or I'm trying too hard and I need to embrace being almost 40. I think it looks one way on me and then remember how overweight I am and that I'm not going to look like the thin things I see wearing it. Sigh.

The End