The J6 Journey: Year 5, October 30th - November 1st, 2020: Once In A Blue Moon

Yes! This October, we have two full moons, and thus, the 2nd one is called "The Blue Moon!" And it also happens to happen on Halloween, which is also on a Saturday, so, the year of crazy, 2020, continues!

Crazy busy week. I'm still feeling tired and blah. But we made it to the weekend. Today we went to our last homeschool park day of the year, and it was at Southeastway Park. So, we brought Socks with us! He loved it! He barked loud and proud at all the dogs, but other than that, he didn't pull too hard on me while I sat at the picnic table with him. There were only 3 families from our group and 3 families from another group. It was a little awkward because the other group's leader didn't quite understand that when I meant "let's network," I meant, "let's say hi and just know about each other." She was trying to recruit more people to the group. The other group, the Free Your Mind group, has a lot of followers but not many actually attend the events because they are a bit more disjointed or people get busy, or something. I have gone to a few events, and it's fine. And then I committed more to Early Years and Beyond because I liked the consistency better. The three of us did our best to nod our heads and we tried to not engage the others too much. They had mostly teens with them and we had younger kids with us. Oh well. We tried. The three of us had a good conversation and our kids did their thing. Abishai ended up taking off his jacket despite it being only 43 degrees outside and he only had a t-shirt on because the jacket "got in his way." He did have long pants on (that were too short) and his socks and shoes of course. His little cheeks were pretty red.

The other kids their homework for the most part. It's now 8pm and Justin is supposed to be finishing up his writing but he had also set up his computer so I think he's highly distracted. It's writing, so I'm not tackling it tonight. I've had a headache all day and can't think about writing well (can you tell?) But when given the choice, Daddy insisted that Abishai and I do his homework tonight instead of on play day tomorrow. Good choice. Daddy got to help and Abishai sat still better, especially since we were working on writing "s's." But Abishai was very tired. I only made him do the bare minimum. We'll do more read alouds next week. Keturah was done and checked before we left for park day. I didn't get a shower, so I'll have to do that tomorrow. I have a few more things to add to my list, too. But that's it. Nothing too exciting.

Abishai thought he'd be funny and put the hood of his coat on the dog's head to make it look like Socks was wearing it. Good grief this dog puts up with so much! And you know what? I think secretly he loves it because he loves to be with his humans.

Abishai set Dinosaury up in Daddy's chair for his daytime nap. Dinosaury sleeps during the day and then watches out for Abishai all night long. I love how he put an extra pillow there and had his face sideways and under the blanket. And he put the footrest up! And the cars fit nicely there, too.

Abishai thought Sophia was coming to play when she and her mom came up our sidewalk. But no, they were delivering a package of treats instead! How thoughtful! I think Abishai realizes that Sophia is a littler person than the tweens and teens like he his, so he talks about her sometimes. How sweet!

We are working on the first book of our reading curriculum! We've been doing phonics blends and individual sounds and some flashcards. But now it's time to put it together! Abishai understands mostly how to run the letters together, but I tend to jump in too fast to help. We'll get there. These books are on their 4 kid!

And since we did the letter "s" today in handwriting, he now knows how to write all the letters in his name. I know it might seem like he's "behind" a lot of other kids, but I'd rather that we spent our precious few minutes that he will actually sit with me to work on the sounds rather than the handwriting. First of all, I had just read an article last month about not pushing them to write to early because their toddler fingers are still pretty chubby and short, whereas just a year or two later, their fingers have thinned out and gotten longer, making it easier to grasp a writing utensil. Second, yes, the kid won't sit still. I can all endure the squirming so long. Thirdly, you don't have to do 100's of practice to understand the formation. He can practice as he goes and it will improve. Fourth, I've heard that some kids just have faster minds than faster fingers. I don't want to hold him back because of handwriting. So, I will do the writing for him (like his numbers in his math) for a bit longer so he doesn't get bored. Fifth, when you teach concepts too soon, it takes a lot more practice and repetition and frustration. What a little longer, and it's done in a heartbeat. I learned that with a lot of Keturah's stuff. Her mind wasn't ready yet. For Abishai, his mind is fast, and his fingers can do it, but it will take time to practice and catch up. But he will. I'd rather we go slow and well in formation of letters so he writes better than the others. Plus he's a leftie. We have plenty of time when you look at the big picture. Just like all my kids didn't fully potty train (daytime) until 3 1/2, the nighttime training was easy and came soon after. I just didn't feel the pressure to start reading and writing any earlier than 5. We didn't color and use scissors either. Same with piano lessons. The older the are, the easier it is. There's a huge difference between a 5 yr old and an 8 yr old when sitting down at the piano. Oftentimes, the 8 yr old who has played for 2 months will be just as far along as when the 5 yr old will have been playing for 3 yrs old. And that's how we've done it. And I think the method has proven itself. It's really that I'm lazy and I was busy with MOPS when the older 3 were little and I knew just enough that I would just let them play and not push the academics. Now I know the real theories behind my intuition. So while it might be a little embarrassing that my very smart 5 yr old can't write his name yet or doesn't color well, in the long run, he'll be fine. I know he doesn't have any learning problems. I just refuse to teach things too early to them. Although today, I did go over the names of the days of the week and months of the year because Keturah didn't have them perfectly memorized until she was 8 years old because I neglected to teach her (and how to tie her shoes). Whoops! There's always gaps in the education somewhere! Just stop, drop, and teach it to them then. And move on.

He was very excited to write his whole name for the first time by himself while Daddy was sitting with us! Woot! Woot!

Well, we just came back from an impromptu get together with the Smiths and Mahurins. Debi had taken some of the kids out trick or treating. Adrienne and Jim were preparing for them and Ava and her friends. Jared had gone over earlier to talk to Jim about some business stuff. So, Jared called about 5:15 and said why don't you bring the kids over at 7? What was just going to be Derrick ended up being for 6 kids! Lol. We put candy into baggies with a glow stick and then scattered them around the yard in the dark. The kids had a bunch of fun with that. And the trick or treaters got to add to their huge bags of loot from just two neighborhoods. Our kids of course got less, but we are fine with that. I'll go to Ollie's tomorrow and see if there's any good deals and we will be going to Aldi's later in the day as well, so I'll check there. We had brought the bag I had bought so there would be more candy for everyone. Abishai got his fill of people and he got to hand out candy. He and Lucky, the dog, ran to the front door every time the doorbell rang. Hilarious! I was/am super tired, but managed to make it through. Jared already went to bed and told me to come soon. Well, you dragged me out and I got a late start on the blog and I have one more episode to watch of my TV show so, you'll wait.

We did change our clocks so we "gain" an hour but I'm guessing Abishai will wake up at about the same time. And we have church in the morning. I really despise having to get up for the 9am service. I just don't like being forced to get up when the world usually gets up because it's not part of my regular routine. It means I have to get up between 7 and 7:30 and shove enough food down so I can drink enough tea to stay awake. It's just not ideal for me and my stomach, ok? I don't really eat until 9:30 or 10. I suppose I could try to not eat but then I'm up and hungry. I don't know. If we could just flip it where Jared goes at 9 (weekly or biweekly), and we attend at 11 again, and I don't volunteer at all, I would be a much happier camper. Everyone will say, "sacrifice for the greater good." I will say, "well, when you have chronic issues, you have to learn to protect yourself and save yourself so you CAN serve the greater good later on." It's not just selfishness. I meet with Joanna the nursery director this week, so I'll bring it up.

Otherwise, Jared finished staining the playground and he and Justin switched out the lightswitch in the boys' room. But then the lightbulb wouldn't turn on, so he replaced that as well and now because it's a "cool hue" fluorescent bulb, it looks like the glow from an alien space ship. I don't know but I don't like it. It's the only thing that would fit into that particular light/fan combo. The lightswitch itself was clearly broken and old, so even if it was just the lightbulb, it needed replaced. I listened to Scarlet Letter, did my Bible study, switched out winter coats, showered, looked at what to do about Abishai's clothes, and tried to take a nap. Keturah painted, read for school and screen timed. Abishai wandered around, got stain on his pj shirt, screamed and ran through the house on numerous occasions in numerous ways, and went with Daddy and Justin to get the lightswitch. He also screen timed and we picked out what Hot Wheels sets to put on his wishlist. Justin and I did some schoolwork, he played on his phone, and got annoyed that he had to do the lightswitch. He could have mulched our leaves today, but he didn't. And then we went to Smiths where Abishai's need for being with people was filled.

Oh, and I did hear Keturah say to the others, "We don't celebrate Halloween because it's an evil holiday and a selfish holiday." Meaning, we don't celebrate it because of it's direct connection to Wicca and all the celebration of death. And because I don't believe in promoting kids to say "give me a treat or I'll trick you" regardless if they are really understanding that phrase or not. Gimme, gimme, gimme all the candy and sugar and obesity. Two of the kids went as "dead sisters." Their make up was tasteful and you really couldn't tell that they were "dead" but still. No thank you. Dress up any time you want. Buy and eat candy any time you want. But not on a day where a real cult, Wicca, do all sorts of real, Satan infested deeds. And yes I know Christmas has pagan roots, too. And Halloween has some connection to the church somewhere. But no, we don't do it. We do however remember Martin Luther nailing the 95 Theses to the door of the church on October 31st, 1517. That was the turning point that forever divided the Catholic church and the Protestant church. We wouldn't have our Protestant churches without that bold move. So, we don't do all the activities associated with it, but we remember it.

That's about it. Tomorrow is a full normal Sunday day.

Nice little video to explain that all the elementary rooms will be open this Sunday at the Franklin Rd. Campus.

Most places have already had more people vote before election than all of the election votes in 2016!!!! I hope this means that voter turnout will be really high and/or the lines on Tuesday will be short. Maybe when Jared goes at 5:30am, he can let me know how busy it is and I'll come join him or I'll do it the time I originally planned, 10 am or after the boys' haircuts. But wow! Why didn't they do this for the last two weeks?

Last Grandma Howell hand knitted sweater. I put it in a prominent place so that it would be the first thing we grab when going out. He likes camoflauge colors so hopefully he'll wear it! He seemed excited at the same time! He also graduated to the next size of snow pants and the size 6/7 jackets. Eek!

I can't help it, there's way too much to like about this photo. Horse, hair, hat.

Abishai likes to stack his candy.

This was in response to a post by Tayte that talked about writing down things she is thankful for instead of all the negative out there.

Abishai's always the first one to volunteer to help, for 1 minute worth of helping, lol.

We bagged up candy and put glow sticks in them so the kids could find them in the dark.

Abishai liked helping Mrs. Adrienne pass out candy. No, we aren't going to do it at our house next year, but giving is better than receiving, so I didn't stop him.

Helping the trick or treaters with their loot.

No, I don't think Mr. Jim would appreciate you doing that.

The kids came up with a game using a box that they got. Justin so good about jumping in with the younger ones.

Well, you can't see the candy but you can see the glow stick!

Finding Candy in the Dark

There you go, now you can see the bag of candy in a pile of leaves.

Abishai holding 4 bags of bandy and the colors were all different. He was just holding them and they came out looking like this. Cool! Then they all had some Star Wars light saber battles with the glow sticks!

Growl. Despite turning the clocks back an hour and going to bed at my "normal" time, I woke up moody. Sometimes I forget that depression is a real thing and that yes, in fact, I do have it. I want to dismiss it because I'm not like the person who has depression for months. But I can have it from 1-14 days or more. The lethargy and lack of caring about anything and the desire to go back to bed and ignore the world and the brain fog, it's more than just having a "a bad day" or a "bad attitude." If it was JUST that, you could change things around in a heartbeat I would think. No, this is more than that, and yes, I do get it, too. Today was one of those days. I did my best to engage in church. We had a wonderful sermon by my favorite pastor, Tom Harrigan. Whenever it's Tom, I try extra, extra hard to listen (and not criticize). And he nailed it. Now I can't remember how he nailed it. But, he was speaking directly to me in those moments and started to bring me up out of the funk. Then we didn't have any babies in nursery but ended up talking the whole time and although I was "on," it brought me away from myself a bit. I did have to walk away from political talk at the Sunday dinner table. No thank you. Not interested. I am not going to talk politics this week. I'm going to vote. I'm not going to fret over the lines. I'll go prepared. And not worry. And then I'm not going to seek out election results because GUESS WHAT?! It's going to be weeks before all those votes that were cast BEFORE election day are actually counted! So, chill, ok? I've made my choice, I'm done talking about it. So, I walked away.

Then I just wanted to go home but Leah wanted to show the kids something on a HGTV show. Oh, and on these two episodes, the house they were working on was finished, and then heavily damaged by a tornado so they had to rebuild it part of it! It was a show with some great hosts that I saw on the TV while waiting at the dentist's office. However, after seeing what our neighbors have to deal with this week and then this house, it made me jealous, again. Why don't we have money for someone to swoop in and do the work that neither of us can or want to do? I realized why I'm so discontent with this house. The Beech Grove house was old, but it was well kept. The wood wasn't all banged up. The countertops were old and the cabinets needed paint, but I didn't have wood shavings in my dishes and weird butcher block countertops with this huge gap between the stove and the countertop. I didn't have mismatched floors and trimwork not put back. Our current house is really a mess. We have a place for a fan in the fireside room but the housing is exposed because we haven't tried putting anything in there. Nothing matches. The vents don't go on properly. And all these little things add up. I like the layout. I like the square footage. I can deal with most things. But it's just how shabby this house is that gets to me, especially after being at someone's home or seeing something redone. And all of this mismatched stuff makes it hard to clean. I don't feel like the house is ever "done" even when I do clean. I wish I had done more up front or gotten a bigger loan to fix things or even known what to do. Because now we have to move things to get things done. And for me, that's hard. That's a lot of work. And I don't even know what to do half the time. So, all of that to say, it put me in a mood and I told Jared how I felt. He has some solid income producing plans he's working on, so there's hope. And he knows. He knows I try and I try and I try.

I also get fed up at the kids wanting more toys. The Christmas wishlists are so long. They watch ads on YouTube. And I can't physically keep up with all this stuff! How about 1 toy for Christmas and put the rest into a savings account? I feel like I need to purge before Christmas but I don't know what to purge and I don't have time. I never got to Abishai's clothes this weekend again. I'll have to push myself and sneak it in sometime this week. But it's another busy week. So, I put my pjs on at 5pm and told Jared to please take the kids to youth group. I just couldn't handle going out in the cold, 40mph winds again or talking to anybody or dealing with anything. I said he could go grocery shopping if he wanted to, or we could do it a different night. Bless his heart, he did the grocery shopping again and did a great job. I am some errands I would like to do this week, but at least we can eat more than PB and J this week. See, this is where the depression comes in. I don't care what I eat. I will scrounge around for whatever. But the kids and Jared expect, and need, better than that. But I don't want to think about food. I don't want to cook. But I also don't want to just have pizza every day. Sigh.

But, after I said, "Enough, I'm staying home. I need to do NOTHING," after Jared took the kids and went grocery shopping, and Abishai had his screen time, the world was still for a bit. I did scroll social media, but only stopping on interesting things. Skipping most of the Halloween things. Not stopping on the home decor things. And I played my games. And I tried listening to "The Scarlet Letter" but nothing was sinking in. I'll have to let Cliff Notes help me on those two chapters because I don't have time to relisten. Or maybe Justin read it better and can explain it more. Some days, I really wish we had a literature teacher in house. We would both learn so much! But that's when I know my brain is mush. I can't read. Even after coffee. Which did perk me up. But I needed rest. Especially socially. We have a field trip on the westside first thing tomorrow, so I needed to say no to something.

And by staying home, I had enough energy to put everything away, wash the dishes, check on things on my desk, and then pre make chili to go in the crockpot tomorrow. Well, the ground beef will need to be cooked when I get back and then added to the chili, and I don't think the dry beans Jared got and I have soaking overnight will fit, but, I've got a head start for tomorrow's dinner at least. And now I'm happy again that I DID something. Oh, which reminds of one of the quotes from the sermon today. He said something to the effect of: "Don't get so wrapped up in the self-care culture, that you forget to let GOD take care of you." And that can happen through people like Jared did for me tonight. He cared for me but getting groceries and then I had the energy to do a bit more at home while it was quiet. And I do physically hurt today. That wind was brutal. I forget how exhausting it is to have fibromyalgia. And I don't want to take pain meds every day, so I was taking the day off from that.

Wow, that's too much about me, but it's hard to concentrate on kids when my stuff keeps getting in the way. Abishai had a bunch of attitude about screen time, so I declared a screen free week starting Monday. He lost game time with Daddy because when he put away the tablet, he slammed it in the drawer and acted like a teenager. He balled big tears after that. And came running for a hug to try to get me to relent. Nope, not today buddy. And too much talk about the toys he wants. Keturah gave attitude as well. Justin is transitioning away from siblings much like Benaiah did and I don't like it. He could definitely have less screen time overall. Like last night when I told him to put my towel IN the washing machine because it was already going. Well, I went to switch the load over to the dryer and there was my towel on TOP of the washing machine! Goof!

Oh, Keturah did bring the freezer jam to her leaders tonight, so at least I got her thinking about giving instead of getting. She is working on a paint by number thing and gets mad when we interrupt her. I think she is planning to give it away for Christmas. But at least we got it pulled out again. I need to model giving more for the kids. Whoops, and that was something I was going to do at the grocery store! I need to fill the orange bag again for church. Hm, I can try to get some things at Ollie's when I go this week. Maybe we need to do a service project with the neighborhood kids and rake leaves. I don't know. Or bake cookies and actually use my mixer? After this week. I've got a full week.

Benaiah started Door Dash this week and made $60! Woot! Woot! He says he has his wishlist together and each item costs at least $50. Hm,.....And he's buying a $120 gift for himself and a second one of something for $120 for Ava. He says he hasn't really done anything for the past couple of holidays. What holidays? He does a ton all the time. But, at least he's now doing a second job which is what I suggested. He is doing it at lunch time on Wednesdays. I really need to dig out that blanket he wants. Abishai's clothes are in the way, that's part of the problem. Grrr. But otherwise Benaiah seems fine. He likes his car. Life's moving forward for him. He wants to be a CFO and build a mansion of a house that is like a barn or something or other. They all clapped for him when the computers indicated that he was a first time voter. Man, he should have gotten David and Ethan to go with him! Oh well.

Yup, and then Jared went to get the kids from youth group and it's all quiet again. Ninja Warrior gym tomorrow, so light on the schoolwork. Early start to the day. Then it's election day. Fun times!

So fitting for the days I thought I ruined our vacation to Madison, IN by bringing up such deep, emotional topics. Jared says I didn't ruin vacation, and I'm glad. I'm a failure, but nothing can keep me from God. I live forever with Him.

Yes, sometimes I think we focus too much on "me time" or "I deserve this coffee or win" or "I have to have a spa day." Which is all well and good, but if we live for that and not God, there's a problem. Allow God to work.

I walked into the garage at 12:30 am and found this. I told Justin to put my towel IN the washer. Why would you leave it on top of the washer that is already going? Is that a normal thing for me to do? No. I got a big hearty laugh out of it though.