Year 6, November 15th-21st, 2021: Friends and the 7th Year of Rest

 Brrr, the temps have really taken a nose dive this week. The winds have picked up as well. I can feel them through every crack in every window, which happens to be right next to where I have my "spots" throughout the house. So, the thermostat wars rage on. It may say 72 or 74 on the thermostat in the hallway and it might feel like it there, but the thermometer on the wall next to Socks' food dish, which is the closest thing we have to measuring the temperature in the sunroom says it's more like 66 or 67 degrees in the sunroom AFTER running two space heaters constantly. This is why I have to run it at 74 degrees in order to keep the chill out of my fibromyalia hands. My hands are literally ice, which makes it hard to type. "Just move your laptop." Well, that creates a whole other host of problems with posture and pain, so, not so easy. And I'm suffering enough with that kind of pain lately after walking with Kelly and Kya on Tuesday and driving pretty far distances Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I'm pretty stiff and in need of a rub down. But that's hard to do when it's cold and you just want to huddle under blankets. And I tend to stiffen up in the cold, so I'm hurting more and I don't have time to undo the knots. Brrr.

Time. Never enough time, is there. I haven't had any time to rest in the afternoon. These last couple of weeks. We've made decisions to spend time with friends, or work on something else instead, but to be honest, I still feel like I'm making one step forward and 9 steps backwards. Never enough sleep, and never enough work done. Always cutting corners leaving things undone. The to do list for tomorrow gets longer and longer and the to do list of essentials gets pared down until even the essentials don't get done. I'm at a loss to do. I thought I would basically give up the blog, but then something good and cute happens and I want to write about it. But now I have to find the time and space and brain powder to it. And 11pm is not it.

 You know you are depressed when....you can't even bring yourself to finish one blog entry. Sigh. I've got to get back into this. Wish me luck. I'm trying! Next week is Thanksgiving week, so I hope to get back in the grove with daily entries and then go back and work on the last few weeks. Here's this past week's shenanigans.

Monday, November 15th

Not sure why my friend had to give the kids that silly putty stuff that makes farting noises but the boys find it hilarious! I had to finally put it up where Abishai couldn't reach it. What a goof!

Abishai "Fart" Noises

Meanwhile, it just so happens that Abishai was again wearing these pj's and it came up on my FB feed as a Throwback Thursday pic. Fun!

Ah, these  were the lights that we saw on Saturday coming home from the birthday party. Same price as the drive through lights at the state fairgrounds, but probably not quite as good. But, the lines will probably be much shorter. So, we'll see!

It's always easier to do school work with your best friend around. Abishai and Keturah have been fighting over who should have the dog nearby lately. I keep telling them to knock it off or they are going to give the dog a heart attack or anxiety or something. He'd rather lay down in the hallway where he can keep an eye on all the doors and rooms.

Kind of hard to do school when your dog is sitting in your spot.

We finally found doggy ice cream! Aldis had in stock again! It was milk/whey based with a lot of artificial stuff but for me, a bit easier than putting it altogether. Ok, it's not that hard, but every little bit helps. There's vanilla bean and bacon/cheese flavored. He did eat one whole ice cream and did ok with it as far as we know. No throwing up in the house at least and no gurgling stomach. I think we did have these once before but it was many years ago. I can now check these off my to do list. Thanks, Aldis!

Doggy Ice Cream!

Oh my, our little guardian is on the lookout for the bad guys again. Abishai loves to be on patrol, and sometimes brings his dog with them, walking up and down the hallways, checking out the doors, making sure everything is safe. I just love the games he plays and all his imagination.

 

Tuesday, November 16th

It makes it that much harder when Socks goes into Keturah's bed to snuggle her in the morning after his first outdoor run. But they are awfully cute together, aren't they?

It was a Kelly and Kya today and we met at the New Palestine (Hancock County) library. Abishai got to play on the computers for the first time in almost 2 years! He loved it! He went into a lot of the older programs and was learning a lot. He made three city scapes! Check them out!

He always made a soccer field, lots of police cars, and fruit and veggie stands.

There's a kid sized Lego person in this display! Cute!

After the library, Kelly and I whispered to each other after the kids got into the car and decided to surprise the kids and meet at McDonald's for lunch. They loved that! I even treated the boys to a dessert and took one back for Keturah. Meanwhile, Kelly decided it was a beautiful day to go out for a little hike and invited us along. Abishai wanted to stay home to get on his tablet and Justin and I needed to different shoes, so both families went home first. They picked up their dog and we first met at one part of the park. It was closed for hunting. But we found this northern path around a pond, so we made two loops around it. Not perfect but good enough.

I love Kelly. She is my extroverted spontaneous girl. She reminds me of Laura Peric on PEI. I miss Laura soooooo much because of these kind of traits. I just need someone to come up with an idea and give me a nudge and these days, I'll say yes before they finish their sentence. I want to play hooky from all my responsibilities right now. I want to go on adventures and enjoy the world. I'm tired of the mundane and house projects. I'm done with Covid and being told to stay home. So, Kelly is the perfect fit for me right now. And she told me that this year on the Jewish calendar is the 7th year, the year of rest. And it makes sense. It's also our 21st year of marriage, so I suspect that's why we are struggling and needing to rest and reset. There are reasons why God put these into the Jewish law. Although we no longer have to abide by it, it's worth noting it and taking the time to rest and reset.

There's a restlessness I feel and I know it's my mid life crisis.  I never in a million years thought I would be the one with the mid life crisis. But here we are. As I write this, it's not Tuesday, but the next Sunday. And I've just realized that I can't even visit my dear friend Laura in Canada without getting vaccinated against Covid. I can't even drive over the border without a vaccination passport. I'm literally stuck in my own country. My worldwide adventures are limited to the lower 48 United States of America and YouTube videos. I can't physically go on trips with my health anyway. We don't have the money. And now we are restricted by our government. I'm only 40 years old. I really did want to go to Europe some day. And depending on what you look like, I could only have 20 yrs left to live if I die young like my mom or maybe 40 or so if I die old like my grandmothers. And I ask myself, is this all there is? Are all my past experiences my best experiences? I still have a big bucket list of locations to visit. Not things to do, but things to go see. I've always been aware and grateful for the my experiences and recognize that I got to experience things so young, even as a teenager. Who else gets to meet their idol when they are 17 years old? I prayed before, during and after that experience, trust me! I know I'm privileged. I do have dreams still of owning a farm and loads of different animals. But now, I might have to combine it with maybe one of my children having the farm and I come over and help. I'm so used to diving in and making things happen. So when all the doors are shut and I can't do anything, it hurts. Or when I promise to do something and now I forget to do it or I've had to procrastinate on it because I'm putting out fires elsewhere. And yet, I'm pushing myself as hard as I can go mentally to work through all the things that need to get done. Physically, I think I'm moving ok. I'm not sure if I'm moving in slow motion or if I'm very distracted by my phone or I simply just have a lot to do. Or maybe those little things add up, like when I forget to take my meds and I have to walk down the hallway again, or I have to apologize because I forgot to put a link on a post, or it takes me an hour to find the right art supplies. 

Doesn't a mid life crisis also include an identity crisis? I think I did get through that part earlier this year and I'm mostly confident in that part.  But there's so many careers I'm interested in. And I think that adds to the distractability. I want to learn everything about all the subjects but then I don't have time to go to medical freedom rallies or school board meetings or practice curling my hair or taking care of animals or crafting or using herbals as medicine, etc. My entertainment oftentimes is simply to watch videos to learn something new. Sometimes I watch a TV series, and although they have a lot of false information sometimes, I'm also learning some things like watching for their speaking dialects or the scenery or how their court system is run or what is the moral dilemma and what would I have done? kind of things. I wish I could experience different careers. I wish I could be different people and use my knowledge in different ways. Or just keep learning from different situations. I know that whatever I learn, I can bring up in a conversation. Stefanie's fiance' John told me that it does come in handy and helps us ADHD peeps relate to others. And it does! Because I understand a bit of this and that. I may not grow a garden or pressure can, but I certain can imagine it and can share a tidbit that I learned on a YouTube video or whatever. Does that just make me a teacher? An encyclopedia? Or rather the cliff notes? Jack of all trades? 

I just don't want to be locked in. Locked into a career, locked into a location, locked into a reality. I need movement. Jared's been working for e2 for over 4 years now, the longest position he's ever held. I'm just waiting for a change to happen I guess. And maybe it won't come and I can move on. Just like when I didn't get pregnant every 3 yrs. Just like a tradition got dropped and then that change became permanent. I can still try to have hope for the future as long as I don't use the past as my guide, right? They say to look at God's promises and on what He has already done and yes, I can see bits and pieces, but alongside those are the big crisis's that have changed, and still in my opinion, ruined my dreams and hopes for my life. Or I should say, have changed me so dramatically, that it's hard to see why I should have any dreams anymore or think big or trust that the best is yet to come or the outcome will be positive or anything else someone might say to comfort you, whether or not it's Scripture related. Because just when I have a moment of rejoicing, the next moment not just one, but several things are there to tear me back down into that valley. "How is this my life?" I say. And in the same breath I ask, "Why am I so discontent? What's so wrong with me? Why am I crying all the time? Why can't I just be happy and proud and thankful? What can I do about it? What can I change? How do I make myself feel better and be thankful?" But I decided to stop with counseling as we had pretty much gone through the parts of things we could and I honestly think I need someone a bit more experienced and not in the same season of life as I am. And that will probably mean more spent on therapy. But I was also trying to clear my schedule of doctor appointments, so it was good timing. And, if anyone needs therapy, we need therapy as a couple first and foremost. But anyway.

At least I know why I've been wanting to run away from my responsibilities and just want to go play with my friends. Can I, Mom? Please? (Is your room clean?) Sort of. (Fine, but you have to clean it when you come home). (comes home later) (Don't forget to finish cleaning your room.) I'm too tired! Lol, That's what it feels like. So, back to that hike.

Gorgeous hike up near Fort Benjamin Harrison. I had never been to the Fort that has now been turned into apartments and businesses. I've read a TON about it and there's always a field trip or two and everybody raves about the park, but it's a little bit north so I just haven't explored it. But this little loop was a great place, too. A good amount of leaves are now down, but the air wasn't too cold yet and the skies were clear. Ah, fall weather. This counts as my fall hike to see the foliage this year. Check mark that off the to do list!

The infamous Fall Creek. There's the street that runs through the city diagonally called Fall Creek and this the river/stream that runs near it for most of the way as well. There are subdivisions that back up to it unfortunately. The main road, Fall Creek, at least in this area, is lined with gorgeous trees as part of the park I think. Plus we are near the more pricier part of town close to where my brother lives.

Paper/white birch tree! Where we met the Vietnam vet who was fishing out fishing lures to sell them at farmers' markets. We met him again on the other side and had a chat about current events. I hope Justin was listening because we are just going into that decade in history. He was talking about going into the war and serving on a warship in the Mediterranean sea and how he served with his brother. But when it was time to pick who was going to go into battle, they picked only his brother, who was younger, because they don't let family members serve in combat together side by side in case they die. That's too cruel to the parents. And because he was about to get out of the service in six months anyway, he didn't have to do the combat part. So his story wasn't as traumatic as some, but he still lived through it.

Abishai is now big enough to wear Gramma Howell's knitted Socks! He's pretty proud to wear anything that Gramma Howell knitted, although they get pretty hot. It's just cotton or a cotton/polyester blend, not wool, but trust me, they get super hot. He has worn them a few times. They don't stretch very much, so it's hard to get them on.

Size 13 in boys' shoes now. Ah!

I was taught to use it, so I still use it.

Wednesday, November 17th

I knew it! I went looking for this when I was up at my chiropractor appointment last month. One of the fast food restaurant buildings was torn down on that strip in front of our Alids up there and I was wondering if that was the rumored location of the new CFA. Yeah! It's been confirmed! There were a lot of naysayers on this post, but hopefully, it will liven up that area even more. It's not that bad during the day when you know where you are going. It's the best section of stores on Washington St., which a lot people perceive is mostly a ghetto and scary. It's not. I've driven through there even at night and it's not the worst place, but not a great place. It's easier to get to than the traffic of Greenwood. It will be fine. CFA drive thru's will get the job done. Now it's going to be super hard to avoid it on way home from Greenfield, who I heard is also getting a CFA. There goes the budget even more!

This is NOT ok. A mask does not belong on a stuffed animal. Do NOT make it something that is normal for a child to do. This is disgusting. I should have taken the time to put the masks behind the animals heads or something. The boys were in the Lego aisle anyway. Not cool. I'm sure it helped some parents who had to put masks on their kids for daycare and airplanes but still, not cool.

The biggest triceratops stuffed animal I've ever seen! My sister Kristina would have loved this!

While Justin was at small group on Wednesday, we went to Meijer for a "few" things. I love how they added a backdrop to Sandy the Horse's ride. Abishai was proud of himself because he had boots on and could get his feet in the stirrups. We did find some play shoes for Abishai that he could just slip on for a reduced price of $10. Pants for Justin would have been still $25 a piece. *gag* But we found most of everything else we were looking for except chocolate advent calendars. They had other Christmas candy out but hadn't finished their main Christmas display in the back corner, which we found odd. I guess we'll have to go look for them at the dollar store or something.

Thursday, November 18th

After one of texting tirades, Jared bought me a rose and bought the kids some bottles of cranberry sprite. Abishai only likes regular Sprite so he gave me his bottle and I eventually bought him some regular Sprite at Meijer.

Abishai is obsessed at caging Socks in to wherever he wants to be. Don't worry, I made him let him go. What a stress on the dog. Although Socks just lets him do it, poor thing.

Abishai really wanted me to play with him and I was going to but it was one of those times where I lost track of time and didn't get back to it. Sorry bud. It would have been too loud for the other kids anyway.

I was watching this video or saw this photo about how the Smiley became popular in the 70's. This t-shirt was from the 90's. This is the original Smiley before everyone turned it into an emoticon with the invention of the smartphone. This was actually a poster in my friend's room and I used to stare at it during Bible study sometimes. It was so cool! So all these youngsters think the emoticon is a new thing but it's not. It's actually older than me! Aren't these so fun?

So Justin had fast food friendsgiving with all the rest of the high schoolers at church instead of his small group on Wednesday. How cool does that look? He said one guy ate 10 hamburgers! Ew! There was Wendy's, Tacobell, and something else. But they set it up all Thanksgiving like, lol. They played games, too.

Friday, November 19th

It was my turn/week to take Justin back to the BMV to try again for his learners' permit. And he passed! I was thoroughly expecting him to fail again and was already calculating how that was going to work next week with a holiday. But he did it! Unfortunately, he still has to wait the full 6 months before he can do the driving portion, so that's after Benaiah's birthday. Lesson learned. Don't procrastinate on the written test. Way to go! Only 3 tries! (I'm not being sarcastic. Some kids take 8 tries or more.) He had been so close the other two times, too. It just need those two or three other right answers. Yeah!

Because Jared and I were going out for the evening and it was Leah's birthday and Gary is always insanely busy, it was a good time to combine everything and have the kids have a sleepover and decorate the Grandparents' house for Christmas. Abishai was so excited because Benaiah and Ava were going to hang out, too! Earlier in the day, he had seen Ava's graduation photo on my desk and had put his hand up to it and told me he said to it, "I miss her." with a pout on his face. So he gave her a kiss on the cheek and told her that story when he saw her. And gave her lots of hugs, too, of course. She had given him a hug last Sunday when she saw him at church during 1st hr in Sunday School. She is in the kindergarten room. We do miss Ava. We hope she visits with Benaiah soon.

I texted this to Benaiah and said, "We should have gone on a double date!" He's been here more times with Ava than Jared and I have in 20 plus years. It was only my 2nd time ever! It was very good although I spent the whole time spewing my frustrations about life in between bites. We had started off the week well, but were frustrated by week's end. Having this date sort of forced on us came at exactly the right time.

Leah had gifted Jared tickets to go see Jim Gaffigan, a fairly clean comedian, that we watched a bunch on TV. It's been a very long, long time since I've sat up this high. It fells very, very weird. I think I watch a Pacers basketball game from this height once like almost 20 years ago. Typically, we are in the  first ring of seats off from the floor somewhere from the 2nd block to the 5th block. And a lot of the time, the price of those seats are the same price that Leah paid for our seats. It just shocks me every time when I look up ticket prices of mainstream artists vs. Christian artists. Sure some of the artists have bigger productions, but not all of them, not the country singers. Definitely not a comedian. But people pay the prices. I gag on the VIP prices for Christian artists that go above $100 that have Q and A sessions and front row seats. $100 will get you the upper tier for some artists in the real world. But alas, here we are, way up here.

Jared had asked if I expected to get a selfie and I just wasn't in the mood. I was way grumpy and didn't see the point of "watching" a comedian. Actually, because of my astigmatism in my left eye, I couldn't see Mr. Gaffigan, even in the screens. At night or in darkness, it causes a halo of light around an object so everything is a blur. I tested it when I was out one night and sure enough, it's there and exactly why I don't like driving at night. The glare and halo effect is awful. I know what Mr. Gaffigan looks like and sounds like. I could have found just as much entertainment and seen him clearly from my computer screen. At least with a music artist you get the sound of the music filling a room and you get the light effects and whole production. Plus you get to hear your favorite songs. I was listening intently to see if he would say the jokes I know, but he didn't. He mentioned bacon a couple of times, but didn't say the one about hot pockets. I did laugh a few times, but sometimes I cringed and frowned, especially when he almost slipped into some commentary about vaccines and masks. The room was only half full and felt different and a little and dull. I wish it could have been a more intimate event with less people in a smaller venue like a theater. So, just like I told Leah when she enthusiastically asked me, "Aren't you so excited about tonight?!" I responded, "Well, I'm just as excited as Jared was to take me to Tennessee." Ouch. I'm sorry I hurt her feelings a ton. And I'm very surprised that my actual thoughts came out of my mouth because usually I'm too shy and afraid to offend people like that. In one way, I'm proud that I actually said what I felt in the moment with clear words and in a somewhat witty way. But obviously, I'm not happy or proud that it hurt her. I think my typically response would have been to say, "I guess." So, sorry. It was good. Not great. I wouldn't have bought the tickets myself. It was good to be out for once and even bump into other church members and hang out with them for a bit afterwards. We did need a date night. I was just in a mood and not impressed. Jared seemed to enjoy though. All in all it was good evening. Good idea. Gifts are not my love language. So, I usually disappoint the gift giver, unfortunately.

Saturday, November 20th

The original placement of Abishai's candy and clones protecting it. This kid has been so self disciplined leaving his candy from the birthday party last week out on the table all neatly stacked and organized and only having a couple of pieces a day after asking for permission. So, I'm keeping that in mind for later in case other things come up.

For whatever reason the swimming tube came down and Abishai's been playing with it. So I showed him how to be a pinball and bounce off the balls back and forth down the hallway. This is where he ended up. He is such a comedian and actor and would do wonderfully as a Chidlren's Minister.

Our friend Alisha found this picture on our Throwback Thursday wall and reposted it. This is her Jesse and Gary when we were at the only amusement park on PEI. Like I used to say, PEI has everything, just on a smaller scale. They have their own ski slopes, water park, amusement park, apple orchards, pumpkin patches, shopping, mall, hikes, beaches, entertainment, libraries, arenas, provincial fair, parades, etc. just smaller! Jesse now has hair as long as mine, he's Justin's age, and a very quiet boy. I can't believe this was 9 1/2 yrs ago!

You know you have a young adult son when you get an Amazon wishlist like this for Christmas. Everything from expensive Go pro cameras to knock off Legos to things for his car to gift cards to his favorite places to shop for clothes or restaurants to take out his girlfriends. Very thoughtful towards to everyone's budget and a good balance between practical and fun. Way to go!

Keturah had her small group's friendsgiving on Saturday so she and Daddy made the rest of the New Orleans Beignets. We had to add and multiply fractions and decimals because the rest of the mix made 1.5x the recipe. Awesome! Math IS practical!

Get those shoulders into it! Then Daddy did the frying and Keturah put the powdered sugar on them.

They had a great time and enjoyed lots of great food I heard! I saw some great pics of some creative desserts, too!

 

Sunday, November 21st

The chalkboard is quickly filling up with things to be thankful for. Before Justin sat down for dinner on Saturday night, he immediately wrote this. Benaiah had taken Justin on a shopping trip just the two of them, with some of the winnings from his office party. He didn't do that for the rest of his siblings. Justin ended up with Playstation giftcards but they did go into the Lego store at the Castleton Mall, too. And Benaiah took him out for lunch at O'Charley's. Justin was obviously very impressed by all that.

Jared obviously drew this.

I was being cheeky and yes, thermometers, not thermostats, so I can prove to Jared how cold the sunroom is compared to the rest of the house. Jared added the word "speed."

This is Abishai's picture of a dog and then in the square is Kai, a Ninjago Lego character.

And this impressive drawing is Abishai on a surfboard riding a big swell that goes all around you, he said. He also said he didn't have room to draw the other part of the wave to complete the circle. So cool!

His new candy set up with lots of clone trooper protection. He earned more special snacks from church today for saying his memory verse, bringing his Bible, and helping reset the room for 2nd hour. So already, at age 7 yrs old, in 1st grade, because he gets to go to 1st and 2nd hr, and listens in on Team Huddle and is observing grown ups and their servant like behavior, he's learning to serve. That's my boy! He also noticed that one of his friends was back in his class today, so he's mentally taking attendance, too. Ahem, future pastor alert? Maybe? He'd be brilliant at it!

So, I've spent two days working on Christmas shopping from home. I'm pulling the trigger trusting the funds will be there to pay it of later. Because Jared has bought many Lego sets through lego.com and in person at the store, we had a lot of VIP points to redeem and this was the weekend to do it! I redeem about half of them and got $20 off this set! Jared had preapproved it anyway. You can reconfigure it many ways. I have the form of a regular advent wreath you put on the table with the purple and pink candles you light week to week but I don't have greenery for it so I haven't used it lately. This will be a cool replacement for it. Yeah!

Ouch. My eyes hurt. I've been typing for a few hours now and got all the captions done on this post. Now I have to find the videos and maybe I'll go back through and mention other things we did that day. That's a lot to do in one sitting, but I was on a roll. Phew!

The End