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No child, it will be a very long time before you are old enough to handle one of those. Put it down.
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The 20 year olds doing their thing.
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Meanwhile, the GPS apps need updated photos because the hotel Stefanie's staying at tonight doesn't exist yet! Bwahahahaha!
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This one went on forever!
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This is the kind of firework Abishai was handling. You have to hold it up and away from you and let it shoot off 10 times. I don't think he counted correctly and it shot too close to his face when it came out. It's called a Roman candle.
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Counting his eggs before they hatch?
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Ready? Just light it!
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Tuesday - Rest Day
- We were supposed to have an appointment today, but our counselor was potentially exposed to Covid, again. So our appointment was cancelled. Yes! I don't mind. I just gained over 2 hrs to do something else. I've done some computer work this morning finishing off my projects over on the IAHE Indiana Homeschooling Marketplace page, which was cleaning up the monthly posts, deleting sold items, creating documents with the info, and restarting the monthly posts. So, I'm happy enough in there now. The last IAHE project is to contact my groups again and see if they have updates for me about leaders or if they are meeting or not. But it's only July 5th. Kelly wants that done by the end of the month. I've got a bit of time. Plus, mine is one of the most up to date lists. I'm not worried about it. What I am worried about it is our own personal schedule. I need to look into that speech class for Justin and Keturah and I don't think I can wait for the info meeting in August. Then I need to decide if the Westside group works for Abishai and commit to that. Then I need to decide if ASL still works for the kids. Yeah, that's a bit of a mess. But my computer desk work looks alright. I'm going to try to get to some handicrafts this week and other misc. stuff, too. Just odds and ends of projects. I need to clear out behind my desk, maybe even moving some things to the garage for an IAHE event, so we can get to the other outlet for Rick to fix for the pool.
- I'd like to go somewhere with Abishai this week, but Great Wolf Lodge is wicked expensive this week. We can go mid week in the fall during homeschool days or even a regular week for half of the price that it is now. I looked in to the pools and swim parks and you have to be 48 inches to ride the slides and he won't qualify. So we'd have to go to Shelbyville. He doesn't want to go. He's scared to go to the movie theater and won't sit still for a whole movie. Daddy brought down another Lego set to build, so they did that this morning. I told him he could have as much TV time as he wants today because he has been on the go for days and days and has had minimal screen time. He has played hard, peopled hard, and it's 98 degrees in the shade outside today. There will be other days to be outside. And, we'll have the pool soon enough. I'm not worried. My baby gets tons of exercise still. He's a healthy little bloke. We did give him medication today because he hadn't had it in days and days and we should keep that introduced and his body and his mind used to it for when we need it. He didn't want to eat this morning even before I gave it to him. And he didn't eat much for lunch. I think his body is just really off with the heat and weird diet and eating in different places. We'll get back to a regular diet and schedule here this week and he'll be fine. He's had lots of fruit and some veggies at Grandma's house and plenty of hot dogs. He'll survive. Us, too.
- The house is quiet and cleanish. I have to vacuum because I didn't do that yesterday. Since I stayed home yesterday and had my mental health day, I'm in a decent mood today. I'm on top of everything and could go and do anything the boys want to do. Everybody else is out doing their thing. And I don't have to get them anywhere. It's kind of nice. They get to have their experiences and I get to rest and do my thing at home. I'm such an introvert.
- My sister is almost done with unpacking the truck and getting it all inside their new rental home. Thank goodness. It's very hot down there with heat indexes over 100. I just want her inside in the a/c as soon as possible. She's not used to the heat load. I had said aloud last night within my relative's hearing that I might have to put on my Facebook groups that my sister needs help in Houston, groups like the Friends Online/Michael W. Smith group and Leah looked at me sideways and said, "What does Michael W. Smith have to do with your sister moving to Texas?" And I said, "Because we are Friends. We help each other all the time with things like this." No, we don't always know each other in the real world every day but we call up each other when we are in the same town and get together. In fact, because someone couldn't go on the cruise, some of the Friends made a special meet up with them in Juneau. And another Friend, made suggestions about how to be careful in their port city of Seattle because she lives there. In fact, I helped a Friend when she needed to disembark off the cruise when it came through the New England and Maritime provinces and she needed to get to the airport to go home and see her very ill Dad. Wherever a Friend is in need, we are there. And surely there are many Friends in Houston. Michael W. Smith goes there frequently. I ended up just making a blanket statement on my regular home page instead of the Michael W. Smith page, but I'm sure I could have gotten some specific help if I wanted to. We are a family. An online family. And if some generations can't understand that, oh well. Thankfully, Stefanie didn't need the help. But if she does in the near future, I will be calling on my Friends Online people. John used to live in Houston and his kids and ex-wife live there. That's why they moved there. So hopefully, Stef and Auggie will acclimate quickly. And GPS and maps make navigating around a new place so much easier. Stef's house has a nice backyard and it looks like it's in a neighborhood where maybe there's potential for friends for Auggie. We'll see. I'm just glad they are safe and sound!
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Keturah was so excited to finally get to go to Lemonjello's and get the Green Army Man drink. It's raspberry and green apple soda, i.e. lots of soda. Sweet!
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Abishai is happy to be back to normal playing with his Legos in his pjs. Daddy brought out a new Lego set based off a Clone Wars episode near the end of that animated TV series. It has Darth Maul on a throne on Mandalore and Ahsoka in it.
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Good luck, Sister Stefanie, because I wouldn't be able to live in Houston, Texas. 100 degrees and that's not the heat index? And 80 degrees for a low? That's nasty hot. I can't stand that. If God was to move us to a place like that, He would have to miraculously have to heal me. I just can't do that. I can't do 88 degrees even. Ewwwwwww.
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Wednesday - My Aunt Katie Died
- Woah. I have never cried so hard in my entire life, not even at my own parents' deaths or funerals. Those times of grief were more sneaky and subtle and long in coming. I wasn't as vulnerable in my feelings back then. I didn't know how to feel and let the tears fall. Plus I had a LOT to actually physically do for those days and weeks. I didn't have time to fully grieve in the moment. I was the one orchestrating everything while my siblings just had to show up for the most part. And that's totally fine, I'm the OCD one anyone.
- But, it was after dinner last night that a friend of my family, Uncle Joe, who lives with my Uncle Ed and Aunt Katie in Hooksett, NH, messaged me on Facebook and told me that my Aunt Katie passed away yesterday morning from liver and kidney failure. Apparently, she had suffered from depression and what sounds like dementia for the past 2-5 years and they had trouble keeping her on the proper medication routine. She had been moody and hard to handle, especially the last couple of months. My Uncle Ed was the one who found her almost non responsive and called the ambulance to take her to the hospital. And she died there within hours. My siblings and I had not be in touch with my Aunt and Uncle much in the last few years because we've been caught up with our own lives. We had no idea she was so mentally ill. My Dad had dementia at that age as well. My Aunt Katie was a few years younger than my Dad was. Her only son, Matt, my cousin who is 6 months younger than my youngest sibling, my brother, still lives in the area in New Hampshire. I don't know how much he and his wife, Ariel really knew what was going on. Uncle Ed and Aunt Katie kept quiet and to themselves. It makes me extremely sad that we were unaware and couldn't or didn't offer help. Family should help family, but we can't when we don't know. Unfortunately, my Uncle has decided to not do any funeral services because he doesn't think anyone would be available to come. So my Aunt Katie will be cremated and then her ashes will be buried with his ashes when he passes away.
- One good thing about all of this is that we got to practice our communication tree between all of us. Uncle Joe messaged me. I texted Paul-Mikael and Stefanie. Stefanie called Kristina. Kristina was going to inform the other side of the family. Oh, and Stefanie messaged our other pseudo uncle, Uncle Tony. So, we do have ways of getting a hold of each other quickly, which is excellent. I'm grateful for that. And both Stefanie and I were ready to drop everything and jump on a plane and go back to New Hampshire and be there for a funeral or celebration of life. We could have roomed together. We were willing. I'm grateful that we don't have to spend the money, but we would have. Because we are family. And I would have had to face Kristina for the first time in 12 years, but I would have done it. Because we are family.
- But I have had all this false guilt in the last 24 hrs. And false shame. And I've been so furious at a lot of people involved in this and in the past that created the Howell family dynamics. I just don't understand. But this now leaves me with no grandparents, no parents, and down 1 aunt out of 2. I only have 1 aunt, 2 uncles, and 3 cousins (with spouses/kids) left. 3 siblings (with spouses/kids). We have a super small family as it is. And it gets smaller and smaller. And our family doesn't seem to live as long either. And having both my Dad and now my Aunt Katie getting dementia at age 60 scares me to death because what if it's hereditary and I'm next? What can I do to live longer and not have it? My mind has been racing the last 24 hrs. I've cried and cried and cried. I've writhed on the couch. I've cried into my towel on the wall after my shower. I've wept and wept. Over everything. From family dynamics to my lack of communication with my family to my new responsibilities of being the Matriarch of the Edward Howell side of the family. I just want my framed photo of my Nana standing beside Jack London's pony while she was in California. They sold my Nana's house, the piano that I wanted, all the instruments I wanted, and probably all kinds of stuff I could have taken. I just want that one stupid photo that was promised to me 30 years ago. And anything else having to do with Edward Howell and our lineage. I know I have a lot of it, but I also know there's more in their basement. I don't want it thrown out. My Aunt was saving it for me and slowly sending it my way when she had a bit of extra money to mail it. I was also delighted to get a box from her. I got those sheets of music that my great grandfather used to play and his book he wrote on Musicology. My cousin Matt won't want it, because he's a Chapman. My siblings hate that kind of stuff. So I offered to go out and help my Uncle sort through that stuff. I'll bring an extra luggage bag and/or I'll mail the stuff to my house. Or maybe we'll finally make it a vacation trip. I don't care. I do want more stuff. There I said it. It's mine.
- Wow. What a 24 hrs. All the emotions. Anger first, because it's always anger. All my emotions come out as anger first. But then I did eventually turn it around to actual grief. This Aunt Katie taught me how to care for animals. We would go down to her house to get our dogs' nails clipped. She loved her Westies, Western Highland Terriers, and I remember Izzu, (we would tease him and say something about a tissue) and then there was the next dog, Tracie. Katie helped me earn my cooking badge for Girl Scouts: Brownies, with doing a lattice top for my apple pie. My aunt and uncle lived at one end of our street, Dale Road, in Hooksett, and our house was at the other end. We always thought it was so far away because we couldn't see her house from ours. But it did make for a great stopping point and safety check in. My Aunt babysat kids after school for a little bit of extra money. She was great with them! Always doing fun little things! She loved horses, like I did. She was fair skinned and had all the freckles and moles like I do. She had the strawberry blonde hair. She was my sister's godmother, but that didn't really matter, she loved us all just the same. Yes, she could sing and play the piano a bit, too. She definitely was a Christian, no doubt about that. She wore glasses like me. Her birthday was on the same day as my Mother's, November 23rd, which is also her son Matt's birthday. She sold Avon and had fun with it. She never went on fancy vacations. My Uncle worked in a canning plant. They scraped by just like the rest of us. But she didn't complain. She homeschooled my cousin all the way through, borrowing the same books from my mother when we were done with them. She was faithful.
- She shouldn't have suffered like that. It isn't fair. So many people failed her, including me. It sounds like her mental illnesses were tormenting her and then God said enough and took her. I am devastated. I'm so hurt. I thought we had many more years with her. That's why I wasn't worried. It's totally not fair.
- And now I've exhausted all my mental energy. Jared took me out of the house on a few errands. We went to Chick Fil A for a little bit of food, then the car wash, then Home Depot for a spray nozzle for the hose and some light bulbs. I can hardly look around my house without seeing evidence of the Howell family, and it reminds me of my Aunt Katie. This is so hard. I feel like I've been orphaned again or more. My Nana and Granddaddy Howell are gone, and now their children, my Dad, Stephen and sister Elisabeth Katinka, are gone. Wiped off the face of the earth. Gone. My Mom, Linda. Gone. It's just the 4 siblings now. 3 girls and 1 boy, who did have a boy, so the Howell last name does live on that way. But I feel.....alone. Very much alone.
- In some ways, this is horrible timing. In some ways, this is great timing. Jared is home to help me through it. The other two kids are gone so I have space and time to grieve and not worry about their social lives. I just don't want to ruin Jared's vacation time with this. I will pick myself back up and move on, one step at a time. Do the next right thing, just as I've always done in times of hardship, crisis, chaos, or exhaustion. Jared and I work as a team. We can do this. It's only Wednesday. We will take Abishai to his Tang Soo Do class. Who knows, maybe we'll stop at Culver's on the way home. I think I might need more ice cream. It's still very hot outside and the a/c is struggling to keep cooler than 80 degrees.
- I'm exhausted. I just want to sleep. There's bits and bobs to do. One little thing at a time. No deadlines ahead, so I'm ok. Thank you, Jesus, for the luxury of space and time. We are blessed.
- And, now that both my dad and aunt has passed away, my Nana's estate will be distributed, so that will be a blessing to my siblings, cousin and I. We won't know how much until we talk with the lawyer. That will be later this week or early next week I'm sure. If only we didn't live so far away from each other. Sigh. We might have to do a zoom call or something. We'll see. But Jared and I have started to talk about what we will do with it if it is the amount we are thinking it will be. Either way, it's a blessing. God is good and He turns mourning into dancing, He makes beauty from ashes, He has plans for our good, to give a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11). Graves Into Gardens
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Our ages in Lego brick studs. Jared was wearing his t-shirt that has a tree slice that shows the tree rings that show how old a tree is, so we were explaining that to Abishai. Jared grabbed the Legos on the table and started building these! So innovative!
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Jared is 43 studs old, I'm 41, and Abishai is 7 studs old!
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Both Michael W. Smith and Jim Daneker posted this on their social media on 4th of July and I think it's awesome.
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This was pretty cool and I found it on one of my hearing friend's FB wall. Her husband is deaf. I'm glad my children have learned sign language and I hope they get to continue their class this fall.
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Again, what's with the "Queen of the skies" charade? "Elegant Queen?" Hello! I'm over here!
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A verse I was thinking about when reflecting on my family of origin's past, the parts that I don't have a clue about because it was never talked about. I'm thinking it wasn't talked about because it wasn't good at all. And while we have had relationships with all of our relatives, something's always been off. You can definitely redeem those pasts and stop the actual sin, like alcoholism, but there's still damage that trickles down for the next few generations.
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This guy plopped down out of the sky at me onto my desk late last night. I'm so tired of bugs in my house! It was huge! And it was a flying insect, too! No, it wasn't a lightning bug or a hornet or bee. But I did get out the foaming spray for that kind of insect and sprayed him well. I think I got him, but he fell into a pile of stuff and now I can't find him. He must have fallen behind my desk. There's a crack between the desk and the wall. Oh well. He's gone and no longer bothering me. Grrrr, what's with the bugs! Maybe because it's super hot outside that they are coming inside so they don't burn up? I don't know.
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Jared made my morning tea extra special this morning with coconut milk, whipping cream, and cinnamon. It was very good. He's been a great comfort today.
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Oh Abishai, the best comforter in the world. He's so observant, like a golden retriever. He knew I was crying, and he came over and asked. We were straight with him, like I always am. I don't hide much from my kids. Never have. I want them to learn how to cope and now they have and they give me space and see how I come out of it and still care for them through my pain. Anyway, he put his brand new stuffie, he named him Dive, that he got on Monday at the parade, on the countertop to keep me company. Isn't he so sweet?! Abishai is the best and he brings so much joy and love wherever he goes. He's so spunky, but he's also so caring and gentle with people. He's like the perfect example of Jesus (except when he gets mad of course). He's got such a shepherding heart. Such a people person. Oh my Abishai, stay close. It's the sweetest kid I know.
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I stole this from Jim Danaker's social media page. Michael W. Smith and crew are on an Alaskan cruise with a bunch of Friends Online peeps and it was Smittyoke night. Smittyoke is when the band will play the song you want to sing to and yes, you get up there and sing your heart out. It sounds so much fun! And you don't have to sing well, either. It's all about having fun! Man, I wish I could go on the cruises. I would have a blast! But these fellas and the rest of the behind the scenes crew, they have so much fun and love all the fans. It's awesome! And I totally would go up there and sing my little heart out! Mighty mouse me would be shaking like a leaf but man, that would be incredible! Everybody is posting pictures and sometimes videos and sharing it all with us back at home. Because Friends Online is awesome like that and we share with each other. We might be a tad jealous that we couldn't go, but we live through the others that did go this time. It's so sweet!
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Facebook reminded me that it's Stefanie's fiance's birthday today! Happy birthday John!
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I finally got John added to my phone calendar list, too.
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Scrolling through the photo albums on FB to find a couple of photos of my Aunt Katie and I and found some other great ones. Some people have been saying that Abishai looks like Benaiah. I totally disagree. Benaiah was pudgy by the time he was 7 like in this picture. And Abishai has bluer eyes.
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A younger Justin but yeah, I think Abishai looks more like Justin than Benaiah.
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Baby Auggie! He's almost 12 now! Auggie is my sister Stef's son. They are the ones that just moved to Texas.
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One of my top favs!
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Pigtails! This is why Keturah hates pigtails now, lol. She's 4 and Justin is 7.
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Yup, right before Canada, so 4, 10, 7. Cuties! Out near the monuments downtown.
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Little baby Melinda with my Aunt Katie. Circa 1982 I think. I was a pretty baby.
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At my Dad's funeral, September 2011. Benaiah age 9. My grandmother, Nana Howell, my Aunt Katie, and me. (I totally wore the wrong shirt, yuck!).
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Quick check of temps on this hot day. I think we'd all like to be in Michigan by the lake right now. Holland, Michigan where Justin and Keturah are at CIY Move.
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John, Stef, and Auggie
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Us and J2
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Would be J4, but they were still in Memphis, Tennessee visiting Shauna's sister.
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Do the math. Move north, not south.
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Abishai can read all the words on the Chick Fil A placard!
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CFA treat while on staycation! Yum! Cherry Coke for me, kids' meal for Abishai, sandwich for Jared.
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Look who got on the 'gram again! Abishai, you're just too popular, man!
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Who said you can eat Arby's fries during the car wash?
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Reach for the fries!
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More fries!
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Finish those fries!
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Having fun at the orange working store, aka Home Depot, one of their favorite father/son places to be! Too cute!
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He can't wait to be in high school so he can volunteer in high school and have a real job. Look at him go! He knows exactly what to do to scan an item!
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We haven't had rain in weeks! Come on clouds! Release some water, please!
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Another day, another sweet treat for Keturah, more Kilwin's ice cream for Keturah.
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He was doing so well and then it tipped over. Bummers! Justin is away at CIY, so it's up to Abishai to do some of the extra chores, and since Keturah is gone, Mommy has to chip in as well. Whoops! He will bring the empty trash can back up the driveway in the morning as always. Abishai seems to like doing chores and proving he's as big as the big kids. He's always a big helper. And he really is a big helper and super strong. He can carry a full basket full of clean laundry from the dryer to our bedroom. He will use the big shovel to lift the mulch into the wheelbarrow. He'll try to make his own food all the time, including cutting it with a big boy knife. He tries lots of new things every day. He never ceases to amaze me. He had a great Tang Soo Do class as well, getting a lot of the little techniques down for his kicks and punches. He got to be in the front row again and say the 10 qualities or whatever they are. He's so cute!
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And then Abishai likes to troll and fight with his Daddy with the Nerf guns. He's good at fixing Nerf guns, too. I've got to get all my boys together and have an epic Nerf gun battle someday. It would be awesome! Socks even came over to me to tell me that they were fighting. Yes, I know, Socks, it's ok, let them giggle and fall over. No harm done.
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I got my impromptu Lilla Rose order today and it made me cry, too, because it reminded me of my Aunt Katie as well. First, of course, was the dog paw print, her love for animals, especially dogs. Then the butterfly, which is a symbol for fibromyalgia, which is not why I bought it but it fits. I just thought it looked beautiful with all the colors. The tree of life, self explanatory with the family tree and heritage stuff. The poppy, which is way bigger than I thought it was going to be, doesn't relate to my Aunt, and it's a little late for this year, but it's for Canada Day.
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The ball of yarn is for my mother, but my Aunt Katie also did some handicrafts, taught to her by my mother, mostly, and she did mostly crochet. I wanted this one in the small size, but they were out of stock, so the xtra small had to do. The Singer sewing machine is a tad goofy with it's size and multi colors but of course I just HAD to have it since my mother had a REAL Singer sewing machine, the heaviest sewing machine, and a REAL table and all. I still have it, too. So I'll wear it when I'm missing her and want to wear fun colors. Lady Liberty is what caught my eye this month and I thought it was a great way to update my 4th of July collection. I have some decent size small flexi clips, but by getting Lady Liberty without any red, white and blue, I can wear it any time of the year when I'm feeling a little bit political or want to flex my freedom muscles. And lastly, they still had this maple leaf green beaded one from a few years ago FOTM, so I grabbed it to replace my medium sized version of it since I'm a small size now thanks to Covid. I do wear a lot of browns and greens so I will get a lot of use out of it throughout the fall and sometimes year round. Yes, I did get my stylist discount plus extra discount, and yes, it still cost a pretty penny, but it's my birthday month. And I needed to expand my collection of smalls. What do you think I should wear first?
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My Aunt Katie gave me a lot of books about horses and she gave me some of her horse models and a love for animals. Perhaps someone gave her this book because it is authored by an Aunt Katie. She turned around and gifted it to Benaiah when we were visiting at some point. How sweet is that? I'm not sure anyone read it until I read it to Abishai this past year. It was a really sweet read, too. It sits with the rest of the horse and special animal books in Keturah's room.
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Thursday - Work Day
- After having a lot of mental health days this week, it was time to get to work! Actually, Rick May is coming at 8:15am on Friday morning, so I had to finish clearing out the sunroom so the two electrical outlets were exposed for him. It wasn't a huge mental job, just a huge physical job. Jared helped with the heaviest of lifting, but I did have to lean over and vacuum the rest of the aloe plant mishap from a month ago and that took a ton of work. The aloe plant used up whatever was in the soil and turned it into light colored sand and so it was hard to see and it got into all kinds of places. I wasn't expecting that. Then I started to think about actually organizing the books and putting them back on the shelf and I'm glad I didn't proceed. I would have been at it for another couple of hours, and I didn't have it in me just now to do that bit. Jared had come in to check on me and told me to stop and just do what was necessary. Good call. Today wasn't about about sorting or decisions, it was just about moving things out of the way. I still have time left this summer for a bit more of the sorting and decision type projects. Let's get this eletrical outlet turned around, the pool hooked up, the water in, and get the kids out there playing. Then I can do the sorting and be in the sunroom listening to them play and looking out the window from time to time to keep an eye on things.
- So, once I got the corner done, I did the rest of the vacuuming including the edges of the hallway where the dog hair collects and oh my, the leaning over did me in. I was done. It hurt so bad. My lower back is so weak. Wow. It took awhile before it would settle down while I was laying down on the couch. And even that was hard because there's no circulation in that room and it was hot today and the fabric and I get sweaty together. Ugh. I had the light on because I was trying to fix a shirt and it was just unbearable because the light is super hot and bright. Now that I bought some new bulbs, I might switch it out. I like the bright light for projects, but it's too hot in the summer. I looked at a different handicraft project as well, but wasn't comfortable working on it today. I kept up with everything else. I wanted to make a nice meal but Jared ate lunch late, Abishai doesn't care, and I was in the middle of my project when lunch came around and that's when I want to make them. It's too hot to make them in the evenings right now. Sigh. Oh well.
- So, I rested and Abishai had tablet time this afternoon. He was stir crazy this morning so I sent him out to do 5 laps in the backyard this morning. He did them and stuck to the fenceline the whole entire time! He was much calmer when he came in. The exercise really helps his hyperactivity. He was literally running laps back and forth in the house. It was overcast and 85 degrees outside. His body can handle it. Mine can't. So out he went. And it worked, as always. And that's another reason I have insisted on all these outside toys and equipment. It's for him. It's not just to spoil my kids or make us look like we have everything everyone else has. It's for Abishai's benefit and ultimately mine. I need him to burn off this energy. The trampoline, the tire swings, the regular swings, the backyard running laps, the pool, the basketball hoop, and please, please, please, get this kid to learn how to ride his bike so he can ride laps around the neighborhood! Blessed assurance! Teach the boy something besides Lego! And stop side coaching during class! And top watching TV shows with him! Bond in other Daddy/son ways! Ok, rant over. Not quite.
- Jared decided to take down the stairs to the attic, which wasn't a huge priority, but he thought so because he thinks they are too wobbly, and he thinks we are still planning on putting a vent thing in the bathroom, which we aren't. But anyway, he clunked his head on it and now there's a huge welt on his head and a big long scrape. And he did this after he had a nice long sip of borboun. So he drove us to Tang Soo Do tonight soon after it happened and felt light headed while we were there. I should have driven us home. But not smart. And then I said, don't throw away those ladder pieces. Those are awesome pieces for pretend play. And he goes on about how unsafe they are. Yeah, they are unsafe for a 200 lb man, but not to a 75 or under kid who needs to use them for pretend play in their fort. Good grief! Or who knows what else I could use them for for Justin's open house next year. They are decently solid dear. Solid enough for arts and crafts. Do you not have a creative bone in your body? Good grief! Give them to me! Put them on the side of the house. They aren't coming in the house, you big oaf. And really, he should have been working on the boxes in our room today, which he said he was going to do during his Easter break, which he never touched and here we are at the end of his July break and he hasn't touched, and our room doesn't look any more romantic. No, he has to go play with some ridiculous ladder that doesn't matter because you can just put another step ladder in front of it to get up into the attic. And no one has needed to get up there for any reason but once a year. I go in our room 10x a day and have to stare at how ugly it is. Plus, he's been working on the J all week again. Sigh. He has spent so much time on that one piece of art trying to keep it alive. Sigh. If he spent as much on that J on the things Abishai needs to be taught to do, Abishai wouldn't be behind on things like riding a two wheeled bike or tying his shoe or throwing a ball. Sigh. Sometimes, that man doesn't have a clue.
- But, I accidentally said within Abishai's earshot, "And don't drink any more alcohol tonight because you probably have a mild concussion." Abishai said, "You know, Dad, alcohol makes you dumb." Good call, Son, good call. Yes, it loosens Daddy's tongue, but it certainly makes him more dumb, too. He tried to explain to me all the specks of Uriah's two vehicles and I'm like just say car and truck and move on, Abishai has to get to class. Short stories, please and thanks. I don't care what Uriah owns. And what model of car Nathan has, and I know basically what it was. He didn't need to look it up. That was the bourbon working. This is why I hate alcohol. Unnecessary. The bop on the head was unnecessary. But he got the consequences and I hope that it's just a bump on the head and nothing more serious. I might have to wake him up a few times tonight to check on him.
- They worked Abishai and his friends hard tonight, and quickly because they were running out of time. It looked like Abishai was going to cry. He said he wasn't. But Uriah had to correct Abishai a few times and to me, it felt like Uriah was a bit on edge because he had brought his girls and dog with him, and he well, was gruff with them like they had been naughty today and he was fed up. So, he was doing his best no to take it out on our guys, but still, I could tell, he was on edge. Now, that's my empath talking. Jared didn't see it. But he wouldn't. I don't think Abishai like the switftness of the night, nor the constant correction. He also had to do form 2 in front of everyone and he said he doesn't like the younger white belts watching him. Perhaps he's afraid that he's going to make a mistake and mess them up. But he did really well and Uriah was just reminding him to automatically bend his knee and to tuck his other arm into position next to his waist. He concentrated really, really hard. And if only Daddy would be quiet with his hand signals and let the teachers catch him when he isn't listening instead of distracting Abishai from the teachers, things would go better. Daddy is sideline coaching like you see on all those movies where the children have a loud parent saying things from the grandstands. Jared has become that parent. It's a bit embarrassing. You aren't supposed to interfere. Save your comments for the ride home. Don't you know the first rule of etiquette? Good grief. I'd be mortified if my parents were coaching from the stands. I just want to listen to the teacher you are paying to coach me. Then tell me what your inexperienced head wants to tell me. I trust the teacher first. Sigh. And half the time Jared gets it wrong anyway.
- Strong start to the day, weak finish. Jared was asked to lead a Rooted small group that starts in mid August. The problem is, the Sunday groups still meet the week of Labor Day weekend and we are gone (but they skip a week of fall break of all things, so stupid) and we as a family can't afford to have another one of our weeknights taken away from us. And, I can't fully think through a decision like this on top of my already exhausting emotional and mental week. It's nice to finally, FINALLY be asked. But now, I've left the church. Now, our next son is going to be a senior and we have precious moments left to be a family of 5. I told Jared he'll have to give something up. He's got nursery, and 3 Bible groups going. I've got nothing. I volunteer with the IAHE and technically he does, too, but that's also my job and takes up time that I would spend time earning money. I have no Bible study, no consistent time with friends besides when I'm taking kids with me, we don't go out on dates, we can't even meet in the house and talk, I barely go to church and don't serve within a church. I stay home from church sometimes just to catch up. Tuesdays when Rooted meets, we usually have our counseling sessions so they don't bump into Abishai's class, plus once a month I have IAHE meetings on Tuesdays. This is our family's busy season, he can't add one more thing. I didn't want him to even add the 2nd morning accountability group because then his attention his divided in meeting new people I don't know and he's gone in the morning and not in bed snuggling me (which he would be soon when Justin gets a license or switches jobs). Yeah, nope. Relationships are already struggling. No more adding to the schedule. Oh, and I don't know when that speech and debate class is, which Justin needs an order to graduate. And Rooted is an intense commitment. It's more than 3 hrs for 10 weeks plus the extra outings. It's huge. And I want him to become less entrenched at the Creek, not more. So, this is not going according to my plan. So I don't understand at all.
- Speaking of plans. I did have an epiphany today. Since Stefanie moved to Texas, and my Aunt Katie is died, and my sister Kristina and the rest of the Finnish side of the family don't really see eye to eye with me spirituality and lifestyle wise and so forth, and what would I talk to my Uncle Ed about, what is left for me in New England? Why would I go back now? Two graves and a headstone. I have no ties left. I still would want to go back and show my kids where I grew up. But the sense of urgency is well, gone. I have no one to visit with. No one to do things with. I would be just passing through on my own. There's no reason to live there anymore. It's like God slammed the door to NH shut this week in a matter of 3 days. Done. It's over. There's nothing left for you here. You're not going back. The chapter is closed. Find a new place. It feels strange. It feels peaceful in a lot of ways. And freeing. But then, I start to panic. What IS next? I'm a really going to stay here? In this house? Forever? This is it? Really? This is my life? No way. And I died in 20 years with dementia? Stuck in this life? Ok, Satan, that's enough. Back to the peaceful moment. Back to the part of dusting the sand off my sandaled feet and walking calmly away from New England and forgetting that part of me, letting my Uncle Ed without much of a bother and letting Cousin Matt handle it. And let the other part of the family stay silent and distant as they have been for the last 12 years. It's what they have chosen to do. And then just focus on PM and Stefanie and continue to try to visit them and know them. And stick to driving the 15 minutes to PM's house and trying to fly down to Houston or drive from NOLA over to Houston or whatever. PM called Nana's lawyer to get the ball rolling on the monies from the trust. I knew he would do that because all he can think about is money. Jared and I briefly discussed it, but just first thoughts. We didn't come up with an exact plan and I have more thoughts and ideas and questions. It will be awhile and we really have no idea how much we will get. Jared and I aren't too far off from each other, but we want to be careful and thoughtful. I know my siblings will charge through theirs in half a minute like they did with my dad's life insurance money. And here I am with a good chunk of that money left still 11 years later, complaining I don't have enough money for this or that, because I refuse to use it improperly. I would rather suffer in other ways.
- The staycation week is coming to a close and it definitely has not been anything like what I thought it was going to be like. We never planned anything and therefore, nothing happened. I'm mad at myself for that. I needed to rest, and I feel a little bit rested, but also drained. I'm hoping that we can get the whole electrical project done tomorrow, at least the switcheroo of the outlet. Then Jared and Justin can do the burying of the cable and figure out the pump. Then I call the water person and voila! Pool time! And we almost made our deadline!
- Jared is worried about the air conditioner. What he doesn't realize is that the Beech Grove house was just like this one. It would continuously run all day long. Maybe we did have an air return. I don't remember. But we did have to replace that a/c unit as well. He's just more aware of these things homeowner issues now. But we really don't have that many 98 degree days. Just a bunch of 85 degree days. He's just not home to notice them. And I don't notice when the a/c kicks on and off. I just let it go and live my life. I adjust what I'm wearing throughout the day. He's just home too much and notices more. It's fine. Even the bill is fine and the usage is fine according to what the neighbors are using. Things are meant to be used. Let me use them. Don't save them for later. Live now. Use your body now, don't save it for later. You could be dead with dementia by the age of 60. Who cares about a return vent now? Kids grow up. They need the pool now. You can lead and serve the church when they are all grown up. Kids need you know. Same goes for me, too. I need to play more. I need to teach more. I haven't done much with Abishai this week either. I've been in my shell, too, plus I'm chopped liver when Daddy is around or when cousins are around, so I've had a nice break. But when they are all gone, I'm the best mama in the world. Abishai did say he wanted me to go to Tang Soo Do tonight just because he loves me. I told him I'll go but no promises next week. I'm glad I went of course. I just sometimes need to get things done at home, too.
- Tomorrow is a new day.
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It was Aaron's birthday today, so Jared borrowed some of my tea to pretend he was drinking bourbon in his honor. It was 9 am. He took the photo and sent it the family texting thread. Lol.
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Adam Sandler night last night at CIY. So everyone dressed like Adam Sandler, meaning backwards hat, saggy baggy gym shorts, oversized t-shirt. Did you know that Adam Sandler graduated from Manchester Central High School, in Manchester, NH? He even went back there once when I was in college to give a speech at graduation! He's an actor and plays in some ok comedy movies and some raunchy comedy movies.
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Abishai wrote all A's for Aaron's name at first. I then made him write Aaron's name with the regular spelling except that he missed the R. Whoops!
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This is a promo photo but isn't this cool?!
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Come on, Dad! Come outside and play with me!
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Abishai pulled Jared through the kitchen from the dining room while Jared was sitting on the chair. He has a super strong upper body. He just needs to strengthen his legs so he can do his Tang Soo Do kicks higher and stronger!
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Little Miss Aloe got transferred to her new pot today! Hopefully she will be much happier. Now I need one of those plant mover things to roll it across the floor and maybe in and out on the back deck. I did buy one from Amazon today. I had a bunch of points I'm working on actually. I bought some Dunkin' Doughnuts coffee for Stefanie as a house warming gift, a sunshield for Jared for our anniversary, and now a plant holder, all on Amazon points. So, using the Amazon credit card does help sometimes.
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Yes, in order to play fair, I still have to spell it out for my 3. For the the 17, 14, and 7 year old. Sigh.
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Tired, finally, after running 5 laps, barefoot, the perimeter of the backyard. He needed it though.
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Ooo, a new location! The cafeteria! Must be dinner time!
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Abishai almost tied his belt all by himself!
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For the first time in 3 years, since we signed on as reps, all by 2 regions have reps in them! Woot! Woot!
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Jared's injury! It's quite large. He refused to put essential oils or his naproxen lotion on it because "it's open and hte bottle says to not but it on broken skin." It's fine. I've done it before, it's just a scratch. But yes, it's a nasty bump. I'm quite worried about his light headedness though. I should check hon him tonight though. The swelling went down slightly with and ice pack. Poor thing. Front of the head, just north of his forehead. Sigh.
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Run, Forest/Abishai, Run!
Friday - TGIF
- The lethargy is strong with this one. I'm emotionally neutral today. I didn't want to do anything. But Rick May came right at 8:15 and within an hour, he had created an outdoor electrical outlet! He even save the inside outlet! Now, he did say that the heaters we use in the sunroom pull way too much energy for the singular electrical circuit for the room and they can't be running at the same time as the pool filter. But that shouldn't be a concern, right? Because eventually you do a certain "closing" procedure with the pool and shut off the filter to the pool for the year, whether or not you actually drain all the water. So, we should be all good there and can go on as business as usual with turning off the heaters inside when we run the vacuum. We can also upgrade the breaker in the breaker box and what not but requires a lot more money and more wires and crawling through the attic and something about the windows in the sunroom, I'm not sure. So, that's off the books for now since we were able to manage the pool filter on this set up. I'm so excited though! How easy was it to create an outdoor electrical outlet in the back? Way too easy when you know exactly what you're doing. It would have taken Jared hours to figure out. And now, Jared can just plug in the filter system and hook it up. Call the water guy and fill her up! The water should be mostly balanced when we put it in because it will be city water, so hopefully, we will be swimming in no time.
- Meanwhile, I did manage to get all the boxes and things put back today. That was my physical feat of the day. I did it straight away so it was done before I wimped out. And wimp out I did for the rest of the day. I had no desire to do anything else. I only did that part because I know the kids come home tomorrow and they didn't need any of that stuff in their way with their dirty clothes or on Justin's gaming bench and what not. I wanted the house cleaned up and ready to receive them. I even made sure the table was decluttered and the living room was cleaned up from Abishai's stuff on the floor. The Legos went back to the Lego table. There was no laundry or dishes to be done, so everything is ready and cleared out of the way.
- I haven't heard from the kids today, but I bet they will be tired when they come off the bus tomorrow. I did want to go to the New Palestine Bible Church grand opening tomorrow from 10am-2pm, but we have to pick up the kids at around noon as well. I haven't talked about the details with Jared yet. I hope to get an update first thing in the morning as to when the kids will have left Holland. Or I can at least track Justin and figure it out for myself and make a decision about going before or after pick up time.
- I just wanted to do nothing or sleep today. I didn't want to think about anything. Nothing academic, nothing even remotely fun either. I've been such a dud this week. I didn't want to go out and plan anything fun. But I didn't want to dig in and do anything ambitious with the house either. Abishai enjoyed just staying home with Daddy and having his screen time and his Tang Soo Do class and didn't ask to go anywhere and denied every single fun thing we offered to do. I take that as a good sign that he's content being at home with us. And that he had had enough chaos and fun last week to tide himself over for awhile. He's ready for his siblings to come home. I need to stop worrying about how my children want to stay home. They are comfortable at home. And why is that such a bad thing? Isn't that what I always wanted? Ok, I didn't want them to experience the world through their screens, which is what they do. So there is a balance there. However, if they aren't begging to go to the mall or to the theme park or to buy the latest thing, who am I to complain? But they also can't completely disengage with culture, too. There's a balance there. And I think we are close to that balance and I need to embrace it.
- Anyways, we finished the week well. Jared finished getting the ladder down that goes to the attic and got the door off. Now we have this big gaping hole up to the attic where rodents can fall from the sky and the heat can come pouring down, but whatever. His head didn't bruise up too badly from yesterday's incident, so that's good. I made one of the meals from Everyplate which was actually oven based and it was decent. And then after super we ended up watching the first Sonic the Hedgehog live action movie. It was very cute and a lot of fun. Lots of over the top, cheesy moments and very much PG, thank goodness. We enjoyed it. Abishai laughed and was concerned all at the right moments. Jim Carey was his usual crazy acting self. Yup, great family movie. That's how they should be made. The couple was actually married instead of living together for once, too. That was nice to see. The bad guy was purely the bad guy, no trying to turn him into the good guy. Just straight forward plot. Normal stuff. Nothing weird or woke. I liked it.
- And then the boys watched a few minutes of the Halo movie that is based off the video game. Oh my, yuck. Too much like the video game with fighting and bullets everywhere. Not my thing. I'm sure there was going to be a story line somewhere but too much shooting. And I don't know why boys have to play those 1st person shooting games anyhow. Yuck. Enjoy, I'm out of here. Pew! Pew!
- All this stress is causing my hormones to be out of whack and I don't feel well at all. I've got a bad case of daily heartburn again and I can't remember what caused or cured it last time. I'm just taking pepcid after day for now. But I've got other female issues going on that are not normal either. Great. I didn't need that either. I hate stress. My body hates it. This is why I hate crying so hard, too. It leaves me with residual physical pain for days because I'm so weak. I did nap today for a little bit. I can't regulate my body temperature either. I don't know what's wrong with me. So, I need to try to get to bed soon. Yeah right, we all know I say that every day and it never happens. We'll see.
- Tomorrow we pick up the tired, grumpy kids. Hopefully we will hear about their weeks over the next week or so. Maybe we'll get some other things done in the afternoon, like laundry or a pool filter. Or maybe not. But by this time tomorrow, everyone in our family will be in their new homes, tucked safely in bed, vacations over, back to figuring out plans for the school year, while still enjoying the summer days. The whirlwind that was June is over, the first week of July is done. Now we can ease into my birthday week with confidence that it tings will be back to normal. Yeah!
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I saw this this morning and I needed to see it again this evening and every day.
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Interesting fact about Colorado. Although I think red in Spanish is rojo.
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The inside electrical outlet is still intact. Hm.
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Cool! We have a real working outdoor electrical outlet for the first time since moving into this house! Crazy but true!
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We are all hooked up and ready to plug in the electricity for a pool filtration system!
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It's such a simple thing to most people and comes standard on any home, but you have to remember this is a 1950's/60's home. And for whatever reason, the electrical outlet in the front this is near the porch doesn't work and we never investigated out why. And if there was one for the back, it was absorbed into the circuit that makes up the electrical outlets of the sunroom and was maybe on the brick wall that is now the inner wall that separates the kitchen/dining room from the sunroom. And for whatever reason, the builders and owners at the time didn't add an outdoor electrical outlet off the back wall of the sunroom. Or maybe they thought they would add something later off the electricity near the internet box which is near the bathroom window or next to the a/c unit. I have no idea. But point is, it's been a strange set up since moving in 5 years ago. If we needed electricity outside, we had to plug in an extension cord to an indoor outlet right next to the backdoor. But no longer! Here is a nice new outdoor plug! We just can't be running a bigger amped heater inside and use this on the outside. But I don't think that's going to be an issue because we wouldn't be doing outside things in the winter.
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Doesn't everyone have a butterfly net on his head, pj wearing, knot tying 2nd grader in their household? No? Well, you should get one. They are a ton of fun!
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Yes, he reminds me of a Dalek from Doctor Who or a hummingbird with a long beak or an insect with a long sucker out the front. Crazy child.
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Jared finished his (unnecessary to me at the moment but necessary to him) project. He took off the original pull down ladder to the attic. He really didn't need to. It was fine for most of us to climb on. And others can just use a regular ladder. It was original to the house and vintage. He could have just added a second panel on the outside and reinforced it. But anyway, now we have a gaping hole to the hot attic. That's going to be so much fun for the electric bill and heat/cold exchanges. Plus, who knows if rodents will actually notice it in the dark and stop and not fall through. We could wake up to mice, squirrels, birds, and who knows what else coming down from there. I'm not particularly happy about this, can you tell? Sigh. He said he'll back a new door fairly soon. Ok, then. Quickly. Like tomorrow.
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Miss Aloe got her plant stand on wheels today. It doesn't move very smoothly on this horrible driveway but at least it's the right side and can handle her weight. We did have to pull her closer to the garage door though and under the eave because it poured rain today. I was afraid that she was getting too drenched. I'll leave her under the eave until she drives out all the way again. I will bring her in and put her in the backroom again soon. And then my plan is to bring her in and out of the backdoor according to the weather. Jared doesn't think there's enough direct sunlight there, so I'll keep enough an eye on all that. But, project done!
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I tried to reconfigure this corner a bit. I get super frustrated trying to reach around some of the more permanent storage boxes to get to the language arts books so I put them more in the corner where the bookcase was. And I would put the bookcase snug up against them, but then it would prevent me from opening up the chest of drawers behind there that is currently holding the kids keepsakes I want to show at their open houses. And when that's done, I plan to use them as a storage for me like for craft supplies or whatever you would have in an office. This is my office closet with projects that don't have deadlines but really should because I never get to them. What I can do now is scoot the bookcase to the left a little bit and squeeze back into the "closet" for something if I really need to, but I hardly ever get into those boxes. It really is like having a close and the door is the bookcase. We'll see how often I get back there and how annoying it is after a while.
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A better look into my office "closet" space.
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It's happening! The pool is nearly set up! It's up, and the electric outlet is now set up. Now we just have to plug it in, and set up the filter. Then order the water and fill it up! Balance the water and off the kids go to play!
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Family can be some of the toughest relationships in your life. But you have to forgive them more than anyone else and move on. You can't hold a grudge with them or it will literally kill you, a slow and painful death.
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Saturday - The High Schoolers Came Home!
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It was an "up and at 'em" kind of day where we did have to watch the
clock a bit to get it all done. We knew we had to pick up Justin and
Keturah from the church at whatever time they were going to get there,
plus I wanted to go to the New Palestine Bible Church's open house
before it ended at 2pm. I also needed to shower. Jared had his own list
of projects to do as well. So, while it wasn't a tight turnaround, we
need to keep moving along. And of course, I was tired, as always. And
Abishai was full of energy as always. But we made it through, just in
time. Keturah was grumpy as expected, and hangry. We left her home when
we went to the open house. Justin managed to stay awake by playing four
square with tennis looking net made just for 4 square. Abishai loved
playing in the bouncy castle/house/race. I talked to a few acquantices,
but didn't have the chance to introduce Jared to the pastors, so I left
the open house a bit disappointed and frustrated.
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We puttered around and had our quiet times this afternoon. Justin took a
nap. I got through two huge loads of laundry. We had spaghettti and
meatballs for dinner. More fighting, more laundry, more back to normal
patterns. I was able to talk to Jared about upcoming concerns and time
constraints because I'm still concerned that if Jared does too much, our
family will suffer and I won't have enough time to care care of myself.
It's been a confusing week this week. I need more time to think these
things through, but I don't have the luxury of time. The school year
should be beginning soon, so the cheap supplies are all out in full
force. Sigh.
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Oh, I did declutter all the rooms and put everything back from whence
it came! So everything looks nice and picked up right now. I still have
to do the actually sorting and get rid of stuff, but I'll get ready to
do that here in the next few weeks and that will round out the summer
project list. I want to leave some time to still have some fun this
summer, too, especially since we are really close to getting up and
running. Jared and I attempted to put the filter together but he hadn't
read the manual like I suggested he do and didn't know he need mounting
screws and a base, and the actual sand to go in it. And this is why I
should have read through the manual myself. Sigh. So we'll stop at home
depot tomorrow after lunch and figure out what we need and get it. One
step at a time.
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It's good to have the kids back to do some of the chores again. It
really did save me time to have them to do the little things. And my
back doesn't feel as sore. So that's good. Back to grind for everyone
this week with appointments at the beginning of the week. Fun times!
Lots of work to do! Fun times!
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Gotta love tracking the kids on their phones! No need to wait on them actually texting us, although Keturah gave us a 5 minutes warning. Hehe!
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Thanks to Daddy's insistence on parking where no one else parks, we had a perfect view of the buses! Hiya, campers!
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Well, how was your first week at MOVE? She's now at the bottom of the ladder again. Exhausting, that's for sure. Grumpy bear galore, this one.
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I looked all around me when I got to Justin's bus and I felt rather small. I was surrounded not by little boys, no, but by young men. Like real actual men. Not middle schoolers. These were like um, ready to enter the world, men. How did we get to this stage with the 2nd born already? It's a good thing we still have a little man who couldn't wait to see his siblings! I think he thought it was too quiet around the house without them (they are pretty quiet, but he still likes to check in with them).
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He hugged Keturah, too. And trust me, I think they missed him, too.
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And the laundry begins. Actually, it wasn't that hard to get the two loads done. I needed to do one of our loads, too, so it looked like more than it should have been. Each child basically had their own load to do. You just keep it going until it's done. My mom used to do 2-3 loads per day. Easy peasy. Laundry never intimidates me. I don't have to do the actual washing and now that everyone can put theirs away (and can do most of the other steps), it's not that big of a deal. Keturah likes to just dump everything, including clean stuff, into the laundry. I don't understand. You still have to fold it again every it is washed again. So you have to deal with it sooner or later. Oh well, it's cleaner now than it was.
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Socks didn't get on Keturah's bed at all when she was gone. But as soon as she was settled, he immediately jumped up there. He had reason to risk his joints and get up there for his snuggle time with his girl. He needed his girl back so he could protect her. Well, Socks, we are all home now so you can stand down. All is well.
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Somebody is out for the count on our way to the open house at the New Pal church. Another man child in our midst. How is he almost 17 yrs old and yet looks like such a baby still? He's got the peachiest peach fuzz, too, so he barely has to shave anything. Definitely not like Benaiah. He's not ready for the big world yet. He needs more time at home.
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It's bumblebee season! The flowers they like are in full bloom, too! Yeah! We are doing our part to save the bees!
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Nom, nom, nom.
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They love these purple cone flowers, too.
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Keturah, you've been gone all week, look at me, pet me, you left me, pay attention to me, hello, I'm your puppy, remember me?
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This one is all leg and hardly fits on his bed most days.
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The infamous $67 clogs Keturah bought herself while in Holland, Michigan. I totally didn't put two and two together that she was in Holland. As in tourist trap Dutch stuff Holland, Michigan. I've always associated Holland, Michigan with CIY and the boys going there to Holland College, where CIY meets. But most people go to Holland, Michigan because of the Dutch stuff. Duh. That makes sense. They are gorgeous shoes. But she thinks she's going to wear them to church all the time. She doesn't realize that they are for decorative purposes for the most part. She will learn. So beautiful.
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I almost forgot a welcome home sign.
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Well, she did it! Keturah made it to Lemonjello's once and got the Green Army Man drink and brought home the cup and little green man that they stick in the sugary syrupy pop. Very cute.
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I took the rocks from Abishai's camp stash and actually made his initials out of them. I hope this inspires him to play with them more.
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Oooo, this photo came out very well! I was hoping it would with the rainbow through the sunset. Beautiful!
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And because the other two were away, Jared saved a few Roman Candles for them. Only Keturah and Abishai were willing to mess around with them and had a blast for a few minutes.
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"We are the champions!" or we are just goofing off on a Sunday night.
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| I didn't quite get where this was, but it's one of the screen savers on my computer when it's in sleep mode I guess. Lupins! Perfect for PEI in June! Oh wait, it's July now so the lupins wouldn't be like this anymore. Very beautiful in person, though. |
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Sunday -
- Eh, mostly back to normal I would say. Justin didn't make it to church when Grandma picked up Keturah. Nor did he go with Jared and Abishai. No, I had to drop him off before I went to my church. That was a touch weird, but whatever. If he didn't have a job to do, I would have said tough luck or come with me. He probably would have gladly come with me and sat with Kya. Poor him and Kya. They missed each other a ton. I bet the reunion tonight at youth group was very, very sweet. They had done a great job of not texting each other at night because CIY discourages that. And then we parents forgot to tell them that it's ok to text during the day while school is out. Whoops. We need to revise rules like that a little quicker. Sorry guys! Thanks for being honest and holding to the rules! Good grief, text away! Kya will come over tomorrow after Justin works. It will be good to have her in the house again, too. It was quiet without her and Justin's giggles and antics. She and Kellie didn't get up to much last week either, lol. I guess we entertain each other, lol. I mean Kellie and I could have gotten together, but Jared was home and I think we both felt like that took priority. And then I had a bad emotional week that I didn't push to have a coffee date with her to spill my guts because I was too tired from crying and wanted Jared nearby anyway. So, there's that. We'll pick up where we left off this week.
- I did get to sit next to Kellie, Kya, and Tom. And then they still had leftover food from yesterday's open house so everyone at church got fed lunch today! I had some grilled chicken lettuce and tomato, my usual so I could sit with them and Molly's family since I hadn't seen them much lately. I meant to talk to someone new, but it felt comforting to be with my friends, too. But I do have a solution to this get to know other people problem I have.
- I opened the bulletin this morning, after complaining to Jared this morning about my lack of ability to make friends like the rest of them do, and saw that not only is there 2 times this month a coffee fellowship time at Hitherto and one of those times is on my birthday on Tuesday, but there's a solid 6 weeks women's Bible study on Wednesday mornings (or evenings) I can attend that would finish before school swings into full gear. Perfect! Then I could get to know maybe some younger moms at these two other coffee chats and then probably get to know older women at the morning version of this Bible study because the younger moms wouldn't be able to come because of kids. So I'll try again to memorize names. This is a direct answer to prayer today, just a few hours after I was lamenting about it. Praise the Lord! Some real potential! Woot! Woot!
- I was also wrestling with this decision Jared has to make - do Rooted or not, and there's another meet and greet with open groups coming up. Why he felt he needed to tell me that, I don't know. Both of these things really complicate matters. Both kind of should require me to attend with me because it's a life group, i.e. doing life together, i.e. you can pretend you're a single guy, but you aren't. And I didn't want him to make new friends at ICCC and become more entrenched in ICCC. And add to his hrs away from home. He's already got 1 Bible study and 2 accountability groups, one of which I told him not to do. I have nothing. So, there's that. I told him that he can't do Tuesday night Rooted because I don't know what else is going to be going on Tuesday nights. He can do a Sunday morning Rooted group, but it's up to him to either give up volunteering in the nursery or give up going to in person service and watch it later at 4:30. But he can't add any other spiritual formation stuff to our week. I can, because I have none. And kids' schedules come first right now, anyway. Sigh. I'm grateful he finally has this opportunity to lead, but it's not the right timing and it doesn't line up with our family dynamics right now.
- Lunch was alright. I think Leah was frustrated that I ate at New Pal Bible Church. Well, I was helping them out and I didn't want to look like a fool and not eat while everybody was eating. Gary and Leah cooked up a bunch of meat and had the usual fruit salad, regular salad, and corn on the cob. I didn't take any meat and for some reason Jared didn't either. Gary asked Jared if he was becoming vegan. Jared's head was turned towards me so Gary couldn't see it, but Jared rolled his eyes at me. I wish Jared had said something, but he was in the middle of fixing a Nerf gun. Abishai did get to have a very short Nerf war with Grandpa. Then Grandpa was convinced that Justin wanted to play corn hole. He did not. Justin wanted to play his video games and have his quiet time before youth group. So I told Justin, just tell Grandpa that. He did and then he walked home and waited for me to bring the house key. Meanwhile Abishai was melting down because he wanted the blue bean bags and not the red ones. Oh my, let's take pouty face home. So, games with Grandpa and Grandma were short, but we got them in this week. And the other two got to talk about CIY for all of dinner as well.
- Benaiah got to take Ava to their first wedding this afternoon. The first wedding that Benaiah was invited to that none of us were invited to. Ava was Benaiah's plus one of course. Poor Benaiah was running behind schedule and having trouble tying his tie. And then he noticed a blood stain on his white shirt. Sigh. I'm sure he had a great time though. He's such a big boy now, going to weddings on his own, driving a big box truck, struggling through Macroeconomics because it's all word problems and isn't based on logical thinking. And he even turned down a job offer! Someone knew someone from church and they sought out the church person for Benaiah's information! My kid, who hasn't been to college, mind you, was offered a job based on word of mouth. That's incredible! Way to go!
- The rest of the afternoon was spent resting. Jared went to get some things for the pool filter, which didn't get done yet, but that's ok. It looks easiest enough IF a certain man follows directions and lets me handle it. He wanted to finish it off today, but he didn't take the instruction booklet with him or look up what kind of sand he needed and so he bought the wrong sand. You can't substitute play sand with pool sand. Play sand is too coarse and won't collect the smallest particles it needs to in order to keep the pool clean. So, Jared will pick up the right kind of sand from Wanamaker Feed and Seed tomorrow. And then sometime I might do all the hoses and surprise him. We'll see. Again, no pressure to get it done. We get it done when it gets done.
- Justin did have a great time at youth group. Most of the girls were gone because they helping at the VBS at New Pal Bible Church. Abishai didn't want to give up Tang Soo Do to go to VBS. Oh well. It's not a requirement. Abishai also recognizes the difference between the two churches and it bothers him that Justin goes to a different youth group and I don't go to church with the rest of the family. Even Benaiah made a comment about something I said that was negative about Indian Creek. Oh yeah, that's right! They sent an email to everyone that went to CIY because many have tested positive for Covid-19 but I couldn't tell if they were targeting a certain kid or not, so I was complaining about that. Plus, I get really annoyed that we are still talking about Covid-19. Like I'm a) going to test my kids or b) quarantine them for the total alotted time. Nope! If they look and act sick, they will stay home for a couple of days. If they don't, off they go to wherever. Herd immunity for the win. And of course people would get Covid-19 from being at a place like CIY! That's a no brainer! Someone is bound to get sick. It's par for the course. It's actually pretty demeaning now to see the "wash your hands" posters or "be sure to keep your kids home when they are sick" mottos. No, duh, Sherlock. I'm more worried about Oliver in Abishai's Tang Soo Do class coughing all over everyone last week. I even dreamed about it, too. So, yup, I'm so over a) Covid-19 b) being talked down to like a 3rd grader by the government c) still being tied to Indian Creek's policies because the kids do and their policies and programming being forever linked to the Franklin Township school district. I wanted freedom, so I left, but I'm still tied down and I can't escape. Sigh. And Abishai keeps getting mad about it. He doesn't get it at all. And I am confused and lost more than over. So these new Bible studies are exactly what I need right now to get to know some women at NPBC. I'll get there. One conversation at a time.
- Jared putzed around with kids after he and Abishai picked up Justin. I talked to Ketruah while they were gone and showed her where Stefanie now lives and bonding in different ways. I should have sat down and blogged earlier, but whatever, I'll finish tomorrow.
- Oh, I almost forgot! Last night, I heard this horrible crash. I think it was already after midnight. Well, I didn't get up but looked up the weather to see if it was wind or something playing with something else outside because it was to my right, just outside my window. I thought it was a branch or something. I didn't bother get up and go look. Well, when we woke up this morning, Jared has a tale to tell. I didn't know a thing because I don't use the big bathroom on my way to the bathroom. And I was too lazy to go check it. I felt bad and apologized for it. What happened was Jared needed to steady himself after getting up to go the bathroom and instead of using the walls, he put one hand on the above toliet storage organizer. Well, he didn't realize that it's not that steady and it came crashing onto him. And what little that was on it came flying. When I did see it this morning, I had to gather up everything out of the bathtub and from the bathroom floor so they wouldn't get wet or kicked. Jared didn't even start cleaning up. He said hit his left knee and he just felt light headed. It's happened to him before where he's almost passed out before. Oh goodness, I just thought of something! He could have also been dizzy this week because he's not getting enough calories with this fasting routine he's on, eating only between 12pm and 6 pm. Ugh, that's not good. From the concussion from the attic door, to not eating much, to another fall now, to drinking sips of his bourbon collection all week, hm...Time to reconsider some choices, dear. And the best part was when he was trying to describe how he was going to fix it. Like I'm going to let him scab together fixing it with a whole new piece of wood or something! We all know he has no talent in woodworking. Nope, sorry, don't touch it. I will try to order parts or something first. Leave it alone before you screw it up more. Sigh. I'm sorry I didn't get up to check on Jared. But I think I would have been more upset last night. At least by seeing it this morning, I didn't have time to stew on it. But still, my beautiful cabinet that took forever to find! It was on clearance! Sigh. It's a good thing I hadn't gotten to cleaning out my bathrroom cupboards yet. Super frustrating.
- So, it's been a longish day again. And I keep falling asleep. The photos will have to wait until tomorrow. It's 11pm and I didn't eat dinner and I have to check email still. Sigh. At least I scheduled a massage for myself tomorrow. That was smart. I need it desperately. Last week was a nightmare. This week, I have stuff to do. Let's get her done!
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I was looking for photos of our trip to PEI on July 1st-4th, 2012, and found some oldies but goodies I downloaded, so I thought I would post some of them here for fun since I didn't take many others today. These are actually from 2010 from when Socks was a puppy. And when Keturah would let me do her hair at age 2. Too cute! Jared had hair as well.
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I miss this swing, like, a lot! It was 3 full seats and I could actually lay down on it!
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My baby floof Socks at my feet! Oh goodness! So "tiny!" at just 3 months old.
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Baby Nora, so under 1 yr old.
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Jared with hair!
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Always a happy dog who desparately needed to be with his people. Check out that paw size though! He's always been a handsome dog!
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Not sure why we were all waiting outside of el Rodeo for. But, man, the kids were just babies!
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I should have turned these upright, but oh well. Kind of prophetic of Benaiah driving a delivery truck 12 years later! Not for Frito Lay, but yeah, who knew! This was at a Touch-A-Truck event.
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5 yr old itty bitty Justin. He's so cute!
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"I said no pictures!" Yeah, that started young for her. And the no smile thing. But those red shoes are the ones that had squeakers in them so every time she would take a step you'd hear a little squeak. We loved them! This is about the only time she and the boys ever sat on a school bus, lol.
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I still wear the tank top and the skirt. I have the shoes, but they aren't quite in style anymore. I think this is the ugliest interior for a limo I've ever seen. Blech.
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The need for sugar started young with this one as well. But, I had her wear pink things until she started to protest. Why not? She's my only girl!
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Oh my, look at how short these two are at Grandma's kitchen island! They still have the same set up with the same kitchen island, shelves, lamps, chairs, stool in the background, etc.
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Ok, now do you see the resemblance between Abishai and Justin? Much more than the resemblance between Benaiah and Abishai? It's the hair I think, and the skinny arms and legs. And Abishai likes to wear this t-shirt at 7 yrs old still while Justin is only 5 in this photo I think.
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My babies who aren't babies anymore. In fact, I think all of them have pretty much gotten to their final heights and weights now that they are 14, 20, and 17. Here they are only 2, 8, and 5. Time flies!
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And this floofy floof is 12 1/2 yrs old and has slowed down so much in life. No more puppy left in him, poor thing. But wasn't he absolutely adorable? And such a good puppy, too, hardly chewing up anything! And maybe half a dozen accidents in the house. That's my baby dogga!
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The sheepish grin. The same sheepish grin Abishai has! And bare toes. Right next to the sparklers, yikes! Where are his parents?! Oh yeah, taking the photo! Not smart, Mom!
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They thought it was going to bite them or something. You crazies! And check out that adorable all pink princess nightgown on Keturah. So sweet!
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Keturah and Nora.
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Taking a nap behind Mommy's computer chair in the basement while she works at night.
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Fast forward to some randomness on other July 4th's. I'm thinking this was freshman or sophomore year, so 2016 or 2017.
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This one just proves how fast boys grow up tall! Definitely in that 2016-2017 range, so in between the previous pics and now. Goofy short haircut for Justin. I like his current long haircut. And the guy in the white shirt is his best friend Bryce.
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Blueberry picking several years ago.
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Babushka in 2016.
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I'm guessing it was her first time going to CIY Mix. She looks so tiny!
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Now, fast forward to TONIGHT, and I get this nice big spider going across my floor! Jared! I told you we need to spray the outside brick wall/foundation of the house! This is literally the 4th huge bug I have found in two weeks! There were two millipede things in the little bathroom. Then this huge flying insect drops down on top of my desk late at night and then this spider comes crawling out from under my desk. I'm SO over it! It's not a brown recluse. It's just a smallish house spider. But gee whiz! No more bugs! I guess we stopped treating for bugs a couple of years ago and I didn't notice. I just don't like when I come upon them suddenly and it's in the middle of the night or it's been dark or something. Enough is enough!
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You can't read it, but this is the bulletin for New Pal Bible Church. And in it, there's a women's summer Bible study that is about to start, a women's fellowship time this week, and a monthly women's mtg coming up. What an answer to my prayer just this morning about finding some connections at my new church! Sunday morning is not the time to actually fellowship with new people and get to know someone. You need a longer time to sit down and talk. And it needs to be done in groups where there's less chaos. I can't wait to go to all of this stuff! I'll memorize names of 2-3 ladies at a time. And eventually I'll remember them one by one. I have to remember, I have a 20 year history of knowing people's names at Indian Creek and a lot of times I can't remember even their names either. I'm the new person. They only have to remember 1 new name. I have to remember dozens of new names and stories. One week at a time.
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Good to remember when I'm missing my PEI friendships. And when I try to remember that when people leave the Creek, Gary and Leah grieve the loss of that relationship, too. Because let's face it, you can't keep up with everyone if they are out of sight, out of mind and you don't have Facebook to remind you of them.
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Abishai brought Nerf guns to Grandma and Grandpa's house for a Nerf gun battle between Daddy and Grandpa after lunch. They played for about 10 minutes. I think Grandpa got tired and he can't turn the corners as fast as Abishai can.
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The hardest thing is finding all the bullets and reloading them.
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Then it was cornhole with Grandma and Grandpa. Grandpa wanted to play with Justin, but Justin said no thanks. I don't know how the team thing works. But I do know that Abishai wanted to throw the blue bean bags and got mad when he had to throw the red ones. Well, then, it was time to go home for a nap buddy.
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What happened to my cabinet?! Well, I heard this crash, boom, bang around 2am but didn't bother get up to investigate and probably should have. Jared had a dizzy spell when he went to the bathroom and used the wall and the cabinet to steady himself. Only the cabinet isn't anchored to the wall and it also tilts forward. Bad idea. Wham! It fell on top of him! Why he didn't grab the other wall on the other side of him, I don't know. I think he was on the verge of blacking out more than just getting a little woozy like I do. But anyway, I felt horrible for not getting up to see what happened. I definitely was more upset that I wasn't there for him and to help him up and make sure he was ok than I was about cleaning up the cabinet and it's stuff, which was everywhere. I had to do that in stages. I briefly saw the mess in the morning right after he told me (before we got up), and I scooted a few things over. And then later on I did a more thorough clean up and saw that my shampoo bottle cap had broken from the cabinet reaching all the way into the tub and there was bits and pieces of other things everywhere. I am upset about the cabinet, don't get me wrong. It took me two months to find the right one for a cheap price. It's cheaply made, yes. But I love this color. The rest of them are white or black or chic or wire racks. Or see through cabinet doors. This one is perfect with simple elegant trim, and perfect for the beachy theme without being too beachy. It was northern beachy rather than Florida beachy. Well, Jared said he will make me a new one and I said no way jose'. Sorry, but anything he makes is way too rugged and utilitarian. It's not elegant and it won't match and have the beveled edges. He's not a carpenter like that. I just want to glue the molding back in and redo the holes for the hinge and screw the door back together. It's not that bad of a fix. I've seen many videos about how to fix things. Jared doesn't have the time to make things like this anyway. He has something called the J6 slow as molasses virus where a simple 1 hr project takes a month to accomplish. No way. Leave it alone. Nice offer, but no. You aren't wasting money on materials right now. The only reason the cabinet wasn't filled yet was because we need to move it in order to paint the walls. That's why the bottom piece that goes under the toliet plumbing also wasn't in place. Thankfully the seashells didn't shatter. I think they might have chipped a tiny bit. The more concerning bit is Jared's dizzy spells and headaches and weakness. He's not eating enough calories during the day and he had got concussed from the attic ladder just a few days ago. He said he blacked out one night a few months ago while in the bathroom. I might have heard him that time, too. I need to make sure I investigate every strange sound from now on. He needs to be more careful about this stuff.
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The End
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