Year 7, July 11th - 17th, 2022: Melinda's Birthday Week!

 Monday - 

- It was a Monday of Mondays. Chaos reigned of course. And now it's 10:30pm and I don't want to write anything because I'm exhausted. But tomorrow is my birthday! Yeah! Finally! I am hoping to leave in time to hang out with some new ladies at Hitherto after dropping Justin off at work. But that means an early bedtime. My eyes hurt so bad, too. But I have to write something down for today. I can feel how exhausted I am though. It's awful. But my massage this afternoon was awesome! I was late by 10 minutes, but she still gave me the full hour. I felt really bad about being late though. I probably should have put a tip on her charge today. Whoops. There's always next time. After the massage I had to get some groceries and prescriptions, so I picked those up. I found the special Dr. Pepper, but I forgot the bigger pizza. Whoops. It's a good thing I had a smaller frozen pizza in the freezer at home. But I got my dairy free yogurt at $2 a 5.5 oz cup! Good grief! Hyper inflation. Good grief! And milk was $3 a gallon as well. Sigh.

- I came home to Kellie and Kya pulling into the driveway. Grandma had offered to pick up Justin for me, which is why I got to go get groceries. That worked out well until Abishai got in Kya's face and Kya got upset. Yikes. I think a card might be appropriate in this case. If I find time tomorrow, I might help him do that. Poor kids. It was a bit abrupt today with all the ins and outs and being on the phone and what not.

(Written on the following Sunday, so hopefully I remember what I wrote notes for) 

Note: Talk about Abishai and pool. Um, Abishai got in the pool with just some rainwater in it, fully clothed, and decided to start slipping and sliding in it? Oh, and it was because I had given him the cleaning net and told him to get the leaves out of the pool, not thinking he would actually fall or purposefully get down and play. Duh! Of course he would! And I just stood by and let him keep going because we had plenty of time to have some fun before dinner and Tang Soo Do. And this is what the summer is for! He had a blast.

Note: Conversation with Shauna. Let's see, oh, I facetimed Shauna thinking that the girls were home with her, too, so they could see how much fun Abishai was having in the pool they had helped set up. Well, they were still with their aunt and uncle in Tennessee because Shauna and Aaron were doing the finishing touches on painting the walls and ceiling of their whole house after new flooring was put in while they were up here. Shauna was trying to also work on stuff for school for the fall, too. So we chatted for awhile. We never did get to sit down and chat much while she was here. We had a 30 minute conversation while Abishai was playing in the pool.

Note: Can't stay awake. I'll catch up soon. Normal notes because of my bad habits and that's why I wrote these notes to remind me later and then I never went back to this first entry of the week to finish it off, although I did the pics and vids. Now I've done what I could, however disjointed it is. The rest is nearly done as I type this and I'm doing better.

Totally True

Homeschoolers have slightly different things they have to do, but the sentiment is the same.

I gave Abishai the task of getting the leaves out of the pool with with the little net thing, just so he could get in the pool when Daddy said he couldn't.

Uh oh, what's this? I had given Keturah the task to clean up some branches that Jared had left from trimming a tree over the weekend. Well, she had left some tools by the firepit. An open box cutter knife and grass scissors? First of all, both of these don't cut tree limbs and second, you don't leave these things out and open in grass where they could harm someone! Yikes!

While in the 30 seconds it took to pick up the box cutter and grass scissors and then turn around to check on Abishai, he had disappeared below the edge of the pool. So I looked in the pool and found this. Uh oh, he had abandoned his job to have some playtime! Abishai! What a goof ball! Why hadn't I foreseen this?!

Conversations with a teenager who is finally realizing after 6 months of warning him how much insurance is going to cost him. We literally told him this two weeks ago before he went to CIY. This is why we told him to apply for a job before he went. He's worked since January. He gets paid about $100 a week. Where has the money gone? $25 for his phone to Grandpa per month. Fun food and drinks to CVS. Lego sets. And he has nothing now in savings or checking. SO, I don't know. Sigh. Lessons are being learned here. He's almost 17. At this stage, Benaiah had been working 20-30 hrs a week at Chick Fil A earning more per hour and paying for some of his schooling, plus had his license at 16 1/2 on the dot, plus paid for car insurance and phone. Justin is a lot slower on the uptake in responsibility. He doesn't have his license yet because it was harder for him to get his permit. And then we didn't push hard enough for him to get his driving hrs in. So everything is behind schedule. And they are different kids. But, we need to put a fire under this kid's butt and keep him on track and moving forward. He procrastinates when he's unsure of what to do next. He's ok with the status quo. Same as Jared and me. So we are all to blame. It's the J6 curse. We need solid deadlines and others to hold us accountable. We need to be pushed a lot sometimes. I do a lot of the pushing. And I get really exhausted from it. And then I stop for awhile, too. It drives others crazy. And then it drives me crazy that we've stopped and I then I start us up again. Then we chug along again for awhile. Jared's getting better at it. He will work on a Saturday without me telling him what to do or when I'm having a chill day. We are tag teaming a bit better now. He's taking Justin out most mornings now to drive and get this license thing done. It's amazing because he never used to be disciplined like that. I'm proud of Jared for taking on the burden more and more when I've exhausted my resources. It's brought me a lot of peace. And then "tag, you're it." and I take it back and keep going with it. It works wonderfully that way.

Little man worked on Form 3 moves this evening. Teacher Uriah is a tough teacher and works them super hard, never letting them rest too long in class. And he's all about perfecting how they perform the moves, too. He gets out that stick that's made of many sticks that's sort of softer to the touch and uses it to correct where their arms and legs and feet and hands are and they all pay attention and have mad respect for him. They don't give Teacher Nathan that kind of respect. Teacher Uriah doesn't tolerate sissies either. He makes them work through their pain for awhile. But if Teacher Tess is the helper, she sees it and makes sure the kid gets to rest. What a duo!

Little buddy concentrates so hard in class! He does get distracted for a second or two, but then Teacher Uriah gets him right back on track. Actually, he got something wrong one night and I thought he was going to cry from what Teacher Uriah told him. But when I asked him about it, he said he was fine. I guess Abishai was a bit upset in the moment but didn't want to show it in class and took the criticism and swallowed his pride and bounced back from it and was determined to do better next time. So it worked! He wants to do his best for Teacher Uriah! It's so wonderful! It's worth the sacrifice of three nights of family time to have him get interaction with other teachers and kids and learn all the good morals and disciplines that comes from martial arts. The concentration, the strength, the self control, the power, even the Korean words, it's awesome. And to be able to trust the owners wholeheartedly with my child is the best feeling in the world. We've been so blessed over the years to be part of programs and clubs like this where we get to know the owners or managers or coaches. Programs where we aren't here to be competitive but to learn and learn well and usually for a lesser price. Local is best, we say. Hole in the walls, with less than state of the art equipment, smaller programs, usually get you better quality. When Keturah went to gymnastics way out 30 minutes from our house, I felt the same way. Even her basketball township sports team was sort of like that. Bigger is not necessarily better. Not in my book. Same with churches. Same with homeschool groups. Same with cities and towns. Or my dear old Island and her smaller amusement park and water park and beaches. Smaller is better, more intimate, more satisfying, better quality. You don't need fanfare and pretty colors to enjoy life.

For fun I looked up how close the nearest Dunkin Donuts was to my sister. I thought it would be 100's of miles. I was wrong. It was 15 minutes, just up the road. Whoops. But at least she doesn't have to leave the house to brew herself a cuppa since I sent her some has a house warming gift, lol. And the company changed their name to Dunkin' about 10-15 years ago, officially, but I still call it Dunkin' Donuts.

It looks like the nearest Dunkin's isn't too far but it's a bit further in town, so there might be some traffic. Houston has some huge highway systems, like circles within circles, so who knows. I'm glad she won't have to go without!

 

 

 

 

 

 Birthday Fun

 

Tuesday - My birthday

Again, I forgot to go back and finish journaling this entry! now it's Sunday and I'm trying to wrap up this blog post so, we'll see how I actually write this part up.

- Lovely time with Hitherto fellowship group from New Pal Bible Church. All older ladies, but I didn't mind.

- Learned a lot about inner workings of church/almost gossip, but not quite; was able to ask questions, found out who was the quiet and loud ones of that particular gorup and EVERYone had similar opinions as I do!

- NPBC vet all major Bible studies and authors and usually write their own using commentaries and actual studying of the Bible. Praise the Lord, real MEAT! Not wishy, washy, "how do you feel?" and seeker type curriculum.

- Abishai came with me just this one time because it was my birthday and he wanted to spend his day with his mommy on her birthday. So I ended up spending $15. He played on his tablet quietly the whole time, sipping on his mango smoothie and didn't make a peep until near the end and then he started talking with Charlotte while we wrapping up our conversation and only because she opened up a conversation with him. Never do that. You start talking to him and it gives him permission to start talking and he'll bend your ear for hours.

- Abishai had a follow up doc appointment for his ADHD medicaiton. I can adjust med downward and if still too much then we can go to a 4 hr dose with the same med but slightly different formula that only lasts 4hrs and not 8hrs. I love that I can trust our pediatrician. I'm going to sign up for a new PCP at Barrington now that I need a dentist there anyway. My Community PCP hasn't bothered to check up on me in months and ask about regular bloodwork or anything. Plus I would be due to submit paperwork for financial aid. I still have to submit paperwork for the family for financial aid with Barrington, but I only have to do it once and it covers all departments and all my appointments then only have a $40 co pay and just on my appointments. I get referrals to IU mostly. I'm really ok with that. And Barrington is easy to get to and it houses all the departments. While we were there today, I set up a dentist appointment. Easy peasy. All in the Barrington family. Yeah!

- There was some confusion about the evening plans and that frustrated me because it was my birthday. We really didn't have time to go out to eat and see the movie, but then I didn't want to make dinner for the kids either. So I told Jared to buy a pizza at Kroger to send with the kids to Grandma's house. Eventually, we got them there and Jared and I went to the movie. I ended up eating popcorn at the movie for my dinner.

- I saved $26 on 2 tix and popcorn; $5 Tuesday and free popcorn voucher; spent $15.07 because I realized I had signed up for the free AMC VIP emails and my login provided the right info for the discount! Benaiah pays a premium every month to see movies for free every week at AMC. So, by signing up for the email 6 years ago and giving them my birthday info, I saved a lot of money. Sometimes deleting weekly advertising emails pays off!

- Birthday greetings: Jared's card was adorable! Rainbow Brite! See below! Abishai's message on the chalkboard! See below!  Jared's forced singing at 9:30pm because my other children didn't say anything to me all day, Benaiah never texted me. I guess they figured we celebrated enough when Aaron was here. Stef texted, but not PM. had to remind Johnsons with "look what Abishai wrote!" Leah brought chocolate, but one of them had wheat in it and I didn't realize it until 1/4 of the bar was eaten! I ate the wrong foods and felt ill. I barely had time to sit down at all and really enjoy the day so it was an exhausting.

- Felt, underwhelming, especially compared to last year. I didn't even have time to write much on FB about it. I was disappointed that all 3 of the other kids said nothing to me all day, PM didn't say anything, my uncle didn't call me, no one else in my family did, Shauna didn't directly call me etc. Frustrating. Just because we sang 5 days early doesn't mean I don't want to be sung to ON the actual day! And again, with the parents gone, I'm left super alone. 

- Jared's card ended the night. Perfect card! OOOOOOO, I love him so much!!!!!!! He makes my day so much better a lot of the time now. I'm so glad that I made us go to counseling. Just knowing that somebody is there holding us accountable even if they aren't really because they won't call back in a timely manner to reschedule the appointment he canceled, is helpful. Maybe we were already heading that direction. Or maybe we just needed to hear someone say that what we experience is normal, our feelings are normal and valid, and that we can still do this, we have a lot going for us, we are smart people, just tweak this or tweak that. Just talk for 10 minutes a day. Just touch more. Just notice each other more. You can do this. And a little nudge from the backside to keep us going. And I think it's helpful it's someone outside the family saying it. Maybe it's because we lost any sense of mentors. We don't have any couples that are older than us to look up to that we both trust. I doubt his parents now. He never trusted my parents. We had the Wrights and then Bob and Sheila, and then no one to look up to. So I think has contributed to us feeling lost. We need mentors. And now we are probably being watched, which is scary, but I know there are things we do right, so it's ok. I want to do more things right and be an example. I want to be worthy of being followed. I want to be followed as I follow Christ kind of leaders in the church. Not a pride thing. I just want to do my best, period, because Christ asked me to. 

Amen and amen.

I was checking to see if my sister Stefanie had Dunkin' Doughnuts in Houston. Well, she does. And there's one just 15 minutes down the road from her, lol. I guess I didn't have to send that bag of coffee to her afterall, lol. Nah, it makes a great housewarming gift. Can't go wrong with a consumable house warming gift! Lucky girl probably has all kinds of great stuff in Houston!

Abishai was so excited to show me what he drew on the board for me last night. "Happy birthd...mome...abishai drew it....drew it....Best mom..." I think this is the first time he's tried to write a full message to someone on his own without asking how to spell something! And he drew the bottom heart and the two people. The others didn't attempt to draw people. He is so adorable! So when he wanted to go with me to the woman's meet and great at Hitherto, I said, "Ok, pack a bag, and you can come just this once. We'll explain that it's a very special day and you didn't want your Mommy to be lonely." And knowing that having a kid with me makes me less awkward, I was happy for the extra buddy coming along. He makes for a great ice breaker and a little buffer between me and a new person. A little bit of a distraction. And he was an angel of course. He just sat at the end of the table quietly drinking his mango smoothie, playing his video game, swinging his video game, until he got the attention of Charlotte who unknowingly got caught up in his web of stories and became his captive audience. Whoops!

I asked on Facebook: "Pop Quiz: What happened exactly 1 yr ago in my life? Some said I was 1 year younger. Some said I met Michael W. Smith. But it took showing them this photo for a fellow Michael W. Smith fan who was actually there to acknowledge that it was the live recording of this very record. And for us, it was Jared and I's trip to Nashville for my 40th birthday. The trip I never thought I would be going on with him. Especially when his surgery was just a few weeks prior to this. All the love, the feels, the memories. I had loads of goosebumps playing this cd in the car today as I traveled back and forth So much fun!

We interrupt this day of celebration for another doctor's appointment. This time we got to have the safari room. We didn't even use this fancy table, but it looks cool, doesn't it?

Great vitals! We were in for a recheck on Abishai's ADHD medication. We decided on trying a lower dose on his current medicaiton and if that doesn't work, i.e. he's still miserably lethargic, we will try a different formula where it only lasts 4 hrs instead of 8. That sounds fair. Yeah for doctors who are listening and willing to trust me!

Boo for masks! Can we get out of here now? Yes, very soon. But masks are here to stay in the doctor offices. There's more than just Covid germs around here. Don't breathe on me, kiddo, you've got cooties!

Pitiful mama's boy!

Are we smiling or frowning? Silly masks are here to stay in the doctor's office.

Since Gary and Leah gave me money for my birthday and Gary came over to help with the pool set up, my only gift for my actual birthday was chocolate from Leah. But it was super yummy! I ate half of the salted caramel.

Well, since I had signed up for the AMC emails years ago, we were sort of "insiders" and that allowed us to see any movie at any time on Tuesdays for $5. I knew there was some kind of thing with Tuesday and $5 but I couldn't find it on the website. Well, I had to be signed into my free AMC account. Benaiah is a premium member, so he can see up to 3 movies a week or something for free and has a ton of other perks. So, we saved a ton of money there. And then this month because it's my birthday and I gave AMC that info, I got a free refillable large popcorn worth more than $9. So, all told, I saved over $26 and only paid a whopping $15.07 for 2 adult tix to see a 1st run movie and 1 large refillable popcorn. Score! THIS, folks, is how I stretch our measly budget. And this is worth deleting dozens of AMC emails over the last few years for. And it makes up for the fact that I spent $15 on two drinks at Hitherto this morning at a women's meeting this morning. And another $17 on McDonald's on the way home from there for lunch. I help us to do more things on less money. That's my contribution to our family's finances.

Oh, just at the movie theater with my free large popcorn because I was a good girl and signed up for the free weekly newsletter and gave them my birthday so that once a year I get this popcorn voucher. It's usually $10. It is refillable but I didn't bother refilling it. No one needed to eat more popcorn. Jared and I actually ate this much during the previews and didn't eat any during the movie. I'd rather hear the movie and not hear myself eat. Plus I had gotten full on it already. It was my dinner.

Same, oh my word, same.

I can't with this card! I don't know if he remembered that I liked Rainbow Brite when I was a little girl or he just picked it because it had a horse and pretty colors on it or what, but oh my word!!!!! I LOVED Rainbow Brite when I was a little girl! I have the horse, Starlight, I believe was it's name, and Rainbow Brite, herself tucked away in my things somewhere. And I have the movie on VHS, too. I can't remember if it was a TV show with episodes or not or just 1 or two movies or something else. Anyway, horse (unicorn I thought actually, but there's no horn on the horse on this card, oh well) and loads of colors. And this card has shimmer to it!

But wait, there's more! Stickers! There's shiny stickers! And the little sprites! Eek! And the cheesy note! Say what?! Jared is NOT the one to write cheesy notes like that! Oh my word! Happy dance! I've always wanted the cheesy notes!

AND THEN it opens up so you can COLOR IT!!!!! Say what?! How cute is that?! Ok, ok, I think it's a card for a kid, but still, Jared knocked it out of the park! And made me feel better when the rest of the family kind of made it a dud of a day. Abishai and Jared both made me feel very special today. My buddies. We make quite a trio.

Little Man is ALMOST 50 lbs and ALMOST 48 inches tall, lol. And don't we all wish we had his BMI and BP? Lol. A little quick on the pulse, maybe because he was nervous. And I'm not surprised by the temp. Occasionally we are cold in that office, and depending on what he was doing previously, it might be in a different range. Actually, my dad's normal body temperature was 96.8. Normal human temp is 98.6. So, for my dad, anything about a 97 was a low grade fever. It's always important to know what YOUR normal body temperature is so when you check yourself for a fever, you know what your baseline is. I bet by next summer, Abishai will be able to ride down all the water slides at the pools we go to and maybe do more theme park rides. Such a little dude.

Aww, one of my best friends from PEI sent me an extra special birthday greeting today!

That last statistic is a doozy. So, you see employers advertise for $19 an hour to flip hamburgers at McDonald's right? However, if all consumer goods go up, that $19 an hour, is actually not worth as much as it seems. Every year Jared has been given a pay increase whether we are with the same company or not. Year over year, our income has increased. Praise the Lord, right? We should have so much money in savings and retirement right? Wrong. We are still at the same relative level wealth wise as we've always been in. We still qualify for the children to have Medicaid health insurance. We still feel poor. Year after year we struggle to stay out of debt. All our expenses go up at the same amount or this year, even more than our pay increases. We never get ahead. Inflation increases faster than our pay rate increases. That's why we are broke. That's why, it has always been hard for me to look at a pay raise as something special or God given. I should rejoice that we are still at even. That we haven't gotten into significant debt. That God has taken care of us each step of the way. We've never been threatened by a mortgage company, or a loan company, or a credit card company or a utility company that we are in arrears. We've always had just the right amount, each and every time, no matter what. I do enjoy rejoice in that. However, in my pea sized little brain, I watched my dad and Jared's dad, both increase in salary a lot quicker than inflation rose and therefore, they both gained great strides in their wealth. And I just assumed we would do the same. Well, that hasn't been true. Jared isn't them for one. But two, that's really not how it works for most people. And now, in this recession, and runaway inflation, it's causing even us to fall behind and potentially get into financial trouble when we normally wouldn't. If you believe in what the Bible says about not being in debt, it's a scary time for us because I know some of us will have to go in debt or lose everything. And we prayerfully will recover, but that road is super long and hard, and during it, you loose time in raising your children because you working so much on your debt snowball and you wonder if it's worth it. So, do I care about all of this? Absolutely. I watch these things carefully. I did expect this. I knew it was coming. The bubble was going to burst. I've studied economics both in high school and in college. I understand some of this stuff and the typical patterns. But it's still not fun to live through and I didn't think I'd live through a crisis like this. It's so surreal.

Wow. Well said.

This year's Happy Birthday Facebook count. (93 on my main page). It helps that FB helps everyone remember. That's how I remember everyone else's and I say Happy Birthday to every single person throughout the year. Then I scroll through their last few posts and pics and see how their kids have grown and what they've been up to. It's a nice, simple, easy way to check up on all 1,100 of my friends. At least people that I've known throughout the years that allow me to stay in contact with them via FB, lol.

I'd say about 9 Happy Birthdays on this post, plus a few extra after I did these screenshots.

Me, every day.

I could see my PEI friend Laura doing this!

Well, I did it! I made a meal (and we ate it and food was put away), in 30 minutes (and less than 60 minutes). I was on top of it tonight! Freshly made burgers from scratch, fries from scratch in the air fryer, and frozen veggies. The recipe was from the EveryPlate box, so it also made caramlized onions. I didn't had sugar to them, though. Nor did a make the wasabi mayo because I knew no one would eat it. Nor did I take time to chop up garlic for the sauce. But everyone ate well.

Aw, man, where is Tuesday MOPS?! I mean, maybe they fell off the radar a couple of years ago because of Covid and I just didn't notice because they aren't announced regularly at Indian Creek anymore. However, here only Friday morning is advertised. Does this mean that Tuesday Morning MOPS doesn't exist anymore? I mean, it was only a few years old when I started with Benaiah. It was a breakaway group from the Friday group which had gotten so large! Like 100 moms large! And then Tuesday got to like 40 moms and I guess for awhile it was the larger group and Friday's was tiny. Maybe that's why they combined everybody again. Who knows. I love MOPS. It's one of the best moms of young ones programs out there. Mother of Preschoolers is what it stands for, but it's for moms and their children Birth through Kindergarten. For us with at the time 2 in the age range plus 1 kid in 1st grade our last year, the oldest just because a helper in the 4's and 5's. It worked out fine. Oh, and my wedding rings are there on the computer keyboard because that's where I put them at night when I spend my long stints at the computer. My hands swell up a bit during the day and I like to give my hands some rest while my whole body is resting. And then that way, I'm not running around forgetting to wear my ring out of the house and what not. I put it right back on before I go to bed. So, it's not a symbol of anything, it's just a nightly routine. They did land kind of pretty there tonight though, lol.

Jared sent me this picture to show how ridiculously big Abishai's belt knot is tonight. "But I do it my big self, Daddy!" And it's true, Abishai has been tying his belt himself more and more for class. Now, if we could only get around to teaching him tie his shoes!

 

 

 Worship Forever playing on the day it was recorded! One year later!

 

 

Wednesday - So Sleepy

- Melinda, Melinda, Melinda, what's wrong with you!? Why do you stay up until 3am and expect that you can drive? It's becoming such a bad habit. I just wanted to play my video games on my birthday, but I had no time at all to rest. So I took some time last night. Well, that made me a zombie for the whole morning today. I barely notice Jared get up and certainly didn't hear Justin leave with him to go driving. Next thing I knew Abishai was jumping in the bed at 7:30 read to start the day. I think I snoozed again after that as well. And then after I had some toast, I sat on the coach and stared at social media until after 11am. I sometimes will sit and drink my tea like that, but never for that long. I lost track of time a lot today. I took Keturah to her counseling appointment at 1pm where I brought with me and drank a cup of coffee and then felt better. I was able to get her home, where Kellie and Kya met us, and they stayed the afternoon. Then Kellie left and I went right into dinner making, eating, and cleaning up. Time for Tang Soo Do and finally sitting down to attempt to catch up on this here ol' blog again, because I'm behind again.

- I'm having trouble staying motivated to write. Or do anything for that matter. Or journal in my red notebook, too. I'm trying to get more involved with people in real life, so there's not enough time online I guess. And I don't want to think either. I'm so tired that I know I'm not putting words together like I should, so I don't want to even try. I think, is it time to just give up the blog? Is there a way to make the process simpler? Should I just take more mundane photos to jog my memory, upload those and only journal those and not do the long paragraphs? Basically forget the nitty gritty details or all the funny jokes or moments that a photo doesn't capture? What's a happy medium? What's going to matter in 10 years? Who's really reading this? Who am I doing this for? Am I just bogging down because I'm tired? And why am I sabotaging myself? I could answer these questions IF I slept more, but then the vicious cycle begins again, sigh. Anyway. Not sure. So I'll try a little of this and a little of that.

- I had a great visit with Kellie and she poured her heart out to me keeping me accountable for what she sees when she walks in my door. And instead of my heart sinking and feeling embarrassed, I felt relief. Sweet relief that someone has seen my struggles and has a potential answer. Tell me what to do! Point me in the right direction! Give me something tangible to try! Anything! Show me thy ways! Mentor me, please! And in person, not on social media. I basically cried in front of her. "Tears and snot" as she likes to say. That's what best friends are for. I want to listen to her advice. I welcome advice when it's from her. Sometimes it hurts because I'm not expecting it. Or I'm not in a good place that day. But today, I was in the right place to receive it. And she was humble in the way she spoke it. And it was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. And that's what I've always imagined friendship to be. Maybe someday I'll be that way for her or the next younger mom who needs it. Some say I have been very helpful to them. I just hope that I have been. I'm not very sure that I am because I need to spew a ton of info. But I try to be.

- And then she kept questions of the kids about what they learned at CIY. So it was fun to have these extra conversations. Not your typical afternoon friend visit. Justin didn't have small group, so Kya did get to stay. Keturah had late night Ritter's, but because I banned sweet things for the week (which I would have still let her get something at Ritter's had she behaved) and because she had not once, but 3 days in a row gotten up late, given me huge smack and disrespect with her lips, and had her phone when she wasn't supposed, oh, and not done her unit study for the summer, she and I agreed she wouldn't go. Well, she didn't feel up to it, but then she changed her mind again and wanted to go, but I told her that she's not allowed to change her mind again because it was too close to starting time and I had already told Jared and changed the rest of the plans for the rest of the night. And because of all the other junk I just said. And, I don't need to buy her ice cream, she would be buying it and since she's broke, she wouldn't be getting any, so what's the point. Well, I should have said, the point is seeing your friends, but, she saw them all last week, I think she's fine. I need to type, or I could be outside helping Jared with the pool. And I need to get Kya home. And because of the conversation I just had with Kellie, I put my foot down and said, no.  Keturah didn't argue. She didn't argue about me taking the phone away either. I don't remember exactly where we left it today, as in, could she have it or not, but she ended up having it this afternoon when Kellie was here instead of doing her homework. So she's grounded again. Sigh. Abishai had a disrespectful moment over shutting off the TV as well, so Kellie was able to show me how I could have better handled that, too. Live and learn I will.

- So, we didn't go to Ritter's and that's a great thing because it's pouring rain right now. Jared was able to get the pool filter pump up on the blocks and screwed down. He didn't get everything clamped down though. Bummers. He'll have to do that tomorrow night and then he'll call the water truck he said. I say, call the water truck tomorrow and make an appointment for Friday or Monday. That way if there's a delay in getting an appointment, there's less of a gap. Sigh. Anyway, it will up when it's up. And it will be worth the wait. Now I just want to wait until this little rainstorm is over so I can take Kya home.

 

Pretty clouds on our way to drop Kya off to her mom.

 Thursday - 

- Our first full stay at home day of this week. Super lazy day. And, since I'm writing this on Saturday, I really don't know what we did. Justin worked. I think I was a zombie and didn't do anything much. Maybe some blogging. I'm not really sure. I had Keturah working on her unit study. Abishai had Tang Soo Do class. I made a nice dinner. I may have laid down for a short nap and wasted a lot of time that afternoon. I'm not sure. I know on Friday I decided to have Jared hold me accountable for my bedtime again so I don't have days like this. The zombie days have to stop. I have depression. I have no motivation. My mind is not clear at all. I'm literally dizzy from exhaustion. I can't hold myself up. I can't safely drive. I can't read a book. I can't even put sentences together for a blog and I don't want to blog. I just want to play hooky from life and hang out with people so I don't have to work. I don't want to go on field trips because I'm too tired. So the kids are bored at home, too. I don't want to work on anything. It's not a good situation. I need intervention. I'm addicted to not feeling anything because when I am clear headed and start thinking about reality, reality hurts. So I tune it all out and purposefully stay tired enough to use it as an excuse. I sleep 4 hrs a night. I feel awful. And I'm physically more ill than I should be. Enough is enough. I need to get help. Jared can physically close my computer after he gets his ice packs and pull me up from my chair to make me finish my bedtime routine (brush teeth, go to the bathroom, and get in bed). And I think once I've done that for a week, I'll be back to more of my old self. Once I see that, I'll get more done during the day and feel more accomplished and be more motivated to keep it that way. And if he has to keep closing my computer for me for 40 days until it's a habit, then so be it. But these zombie days where I completely check out from the world, are such a waste and then I feel ashamed. Forgive me, Lord. Forgive me, Jared. Forgive me, Jared.

Abishai said he needed to snuggle with Socks today. Look at how big Abishai is now next to Socks! They are so cute! Abishai has been in Socks' care his whole life! Best buds, too. Sometimes I wonder if Socks thinks, "This kid needs to slow down! I can't keep up with him anymore!" But Socks still gets excited for Abishai's attention because we don't always have the time to give Socks the attention he deserves. But Abishai does.

There is a TikTok that goes like this: "When you find a floof in their natural habitat, you do this. Step 1) go over to the floof. Step 2) Boop the floof (nose)." We love our big floof baby.

Awww, best dog ever!

Pretty rain drops from last evening's big shower leftover on my aloe plant. I think the aloe plan is getting a bit scorched, so I need to move it to the back deck soon. But these are pretty! And my phone camera does a decent job with taking photos. I need to go back and use my DSLR though for crisper photos.

Not bad for an iPhone 11, eh? Not bad.

She's looking a bit sunburnt, isn't she? I need to move her, don't I? Poor girl. Good thing she's on wheels now! I'm debating on whether I should zoom her through the house or have Justin pick her up and take her around the back outside. I know I can't lift her. She's probably a good 30 lbs now.

Abishai has just started eating deli sandwiches this week, ham, cheese, mayo and mustard. And today I needed to leave or go somewhere, and he wasn't hungry yet, so I made him a sandwich and we used a Tupperware brand sandwich container I got like 15 years ago. These things are pretty tough. I wish I had a few more so I wouldn't waste those plastic baggies. I also used it to put the leftover croissant rolls in it and Jared took those to work. Yes, with Tigger on the front! He has never cared about his image, so he doesn't mind having a kids' lunch box or anything. And the people in his office would think it was cute anyway. I love Tupperware as a brand. I have some Tupperware from the 70's for real, it's not just a throwback color or something. I know glass is better, so I do try to use it when I can, but I have plastic stuff, too, and I just deal with it.

Young Living got some notifications messed up and told us we would lose our loyalty discount if we didn't make an order by such and such a date so, I went ahead and ordered. But I only used my points. And look how much I got with just points! I got Christmas Spirit hand soap in July because I know it will be out of stock in the fall. I did smell it and I like the Winter one better, but oh well. I got the maple bath bombs that mostly smell like clove. Not that I take baths but they sounded interesting and I hadn't seen them before. The Mindwise juice packets have different ingredients than the Ningxia so I thought I would try that. Then I got the acne stuff mostly for the kids because I knew they were nearing the end of their acne treatment bottle. And I got this claraderm spray to see if it would help with this allergic reaction I'm having with our water softener salt and our water. I'm not fond of the Claraderm smell although it's got some really great and powerful oils in it. I've only used it once so far, so we'll see. Oh, and then oil bottle holders with key chain rings for easy access when traveling. All for free on points. That's a ton! All because I buy a box of Ningxia Red packets every month because I believe it helps me. I should diffuse my oils more but my kids hate them. Someday I will.

I used a gluten free tortilla from Aldi but these came out pretty quick and easy. I only used one spice packet but could have used both. The peppers definitely made it different than our regular tacos. And I loved having the tomatoes and onions with lime, which is pretty much pico de gallo, right? I didn't put any salsa on it. But I did have shredded cheese and sour cream. Yum!

Those yummy chocolate bars I ate a couple of nights ago Leah got me for my birthday? Well, one of them had a brand new ingredient that I was unfamiliar with. It was the caramel one, the one I ate first. Here's the ingredients. Glucose Syrup derived from Wheat. What in the world is that? And does it still have gluten in it? Well, I posted this on FB and a friend looked it up. Apparently it says celiacs can eat it because it doesn't have gluten. Well, whatever it is about gluten products that causes my fibro flares and extra inflammation is still in this glucose syrup because as I'm writing this a couple of days later, I'm still having pain from the flare up. It just goes to show you to always check your ingredients no matter what kind of food product you are eating or even medications, lotions, shampoos, bandaids, etc. You just don't know when they change a recipe or start putting glutened, glucose syrup in what looks like a gluten free chocolate bar. And unfortunately, the dairy in this bar has also messed up my stomach. Usually I'm ok, but this one has thrown me way off. I checked the other bar and it's fine for me. Sigh.

Friday - Park day!

- Yeah! Park day! It was a beautiful day! We had some new to homeschooling moms with us and they also had very young kids, too. Fun times! The usual suspects were all there as well. Justin and Abishai played kickball for a bit until Kya arrived and then Justin and Kya walked off from the rest of the group. Abishai played until he got bored and more little kids came. Then he growled at everybody because he didn't want anybody to come close to him. He hadn't even wanted to go to park day claiming, "I've seen enough people this week, Mom! I'm all peopled out!" Oh my, copying Mom's words are we? Good grief! I thought about bringing Keturah with us but I didn't get her up in time. She's been quite the bear this week with attitude and needs some fresh air. She did get two lessons done in her unit study, at least she said she did. She said she can't answer the questions well, so I need to go over it with her before she continues. She's got 6 out of 10 lessons done. Sigh.

- We then left Justin with Kellie and Kya for the day, and Abishai and I went back home for the afternoon. We puttered and tried to be productive but we didn't end up doing much. I worked on the blog, Abishai had screen time, and Keturah had hers. Then she gave me the biggest attitude of the week with her head bobbing and her tongue wagging like she belonged in the 'hood or something. She did have an appointment with the counselor this week but wow, I get exhausted with her attitude. Thank goodness I have some time with other women now on a weekly basis so I can lifted up. I can't wait for a more weekly routine come winter. And once I get to know more women at New Pal, and feel more comfortable, I'll feel less lost. We'll get settled down again, you'll see.

- It was a semi quiet afternoon and then Daddy and Abishai picked up Justin from Kellie and Kya at the gas station. Tomorrow is Saturday, work day! Maybe we can finish off the pool, fix the cabinet in the big bathroom, finish the big red J, plant the tree Jared bought this week, mow, etc. Yippee, skippy!

Playing kickball at park day with our friends - that is until the friend that is a girl shows up!

Run, Forest, run!

For some reason, Abishai decided to start growling at everybody. He wanted some of the kids to stay away from him or something. He didn't really want to come I guess. He had told me he was done with people for the week. And he wanted to be alone at home. I'm like, no you don't. You're coming with us because every time you do, you have fun and never want to leave. And I asked him on the way home if he had a good time, and he said yes! Of course he did! Goof!

Pokemon cards with a few friends. Abishai doesn't mind hanging out with the 12 yr olds.

Came home to a special package! My new clothing merch from IAHE arrived! Yeah!!!

Abishai can make his own deli sandwich now! So he no longer eats chicken nuggets except at Chick Fil A or McDonald's in a pinch. He will eat peanut butter and jelly if there's no deli meat. But his two main lunches are a cooked hot dog on a room temperature bun with mustard on top or a ham and real cheese sandwich (wheat or white sandwich bread) with mayo on one side, mustard on the other. He is growing up! And yes, he probably could handle putting the hot dog together as well.

Now lookiehere! I was rummaging around on the small shelves near the back door and found this! It's been used maybe once. It has a plug in for the car and for a regular electrical outlet! We are definitely going to need this for our camping trip! Praise the Lord! I just saved us $20 by buying this 3-4 years ago from Aldi!

My new IAHE merch! All size Large so that I have a bit of wiggle room. They usually fit a little long on me. But then I don't feel like my belly is squeezed when I sit down. The sweatshirt feels really, really big. But I have other sweatshirts that sit that low, too. It's just kind of hard to reach the pockets. It didn't come in a zip up hoodie because of the words. And I wanted one of the blue shirts in the red but it was sold out. So many more great sayings I wanted but I had to restrain myself! The girls have been working super hard getting some great stuff out! Oh, and I was just posting some more links on a post I did of the shirts on the IAHE Discussion page and saw that the coffee one comes in a phone cover! I'll have to snag that the next time I order, just in time for Christmas!

Wow!

And you didn't consult the librarian?! How dare you!!! And he wouldn't tell me later what it was either. I hope it was just his biographies and autobiographies or something.

Abishai, 5 months old, playing with Lego Duplo. I showed him this picture and he knew exactly what set this piece goes to, the Cinderella castle Duplo set! The obsession with Lego started early with this one. We also used to sit him in the tub of regular Lego bricks, too. Don't worry, we made sure they never made it in his mouth.

Eating a cucumber straight from Lt. Col. Rob's garden. Yum!

Abishai went with Jared to get more cucumbers from Mr. Rob's house and then had to drive out to get Justin from Mrs. Kellie, and was early, so Daddy took him into the gas station for a treat. He got Air Head gummy bears! Say what?! This little guy is soooooo spoiled!

Saturday - Pool Day!!

- Today, we fixed all the wrinkles in the liner at the bottom of the pool and then filled it with a few inches of our well water but from our sink tap so it went through the filter so the liner would stay put when a pool water tanker truck would come and fill it. And then Jared phoned around to a couple of those guys and he actually got one to come today! We were so excited!

- Dan's Pool Water came right at 2pm and filled the pool in less than 30 minutes for a little under $400. He chatted with us while it did. An older "local" guy who has been doing it for years. Yeah! Another more well known company with a fleet of trucks that just uses our Indianapolis water was $250 and probably wouldn't have made time to get it done today. So, I think we scored with getting "city" water from another city and a good 'ol boy from the another city, the city of Lebanon. Yeah! This guy was even talking about getting home in time to go to the county fair to see his granddaughter hand off the county fair queen crown to the next county fair queen. Good ol' rural Indiana stuff. So now the pool is filled with water!

- And then after dinner I made sure I was the one to mess with setting up the filter properly. Jared had messed with it a bit earlier today, and he said, "I turned it on and did this and that with the buttons." And that was before the water was in. You can't do all the set up without the water, honey. He had somehow managed to set up a 3 hr filtering cycle. It actually needs a 5 hr cycle. of filtering. What a goof. I'll fix it the next time I go out. The city water is already clean and filtered so it's not a big deal and the litle bit of water we put in is clean and filtered. We put the cover on it tonight as there is some rain in the next few days and I want to try to use the covered to warm up the water temperature, too. It's not a solar cover. But the temperature of the water surprised Abishai when he jumped in. He was able to stand it for 30 minutes before his lips turned blue. But he got in, he was the first person to swim, and he loved every minute of it. Daddy got in for a few minutes as well. It's going to be super to have it next week when the temperatures soar into the 90's.  We can't wait!

- Wow, we have a POOL in OUR backyard! Amazing!

- We had Keturah mow the backyard today because it was getting scraggly. She took forever and she didn't like it at all. Justin helped move the cars back and forth out of the driveway to Grandma's driveway for when the pool water guy was here. Grandma stopped by later to put everything right again. I guess she had a baby shower she threw for a mutual friend of ours from Delaware that I barely knew but she acted like I totally should know everything when she said her name. Um, no, I'm trying not to know new people at Indian Creek. And I don't know what your schedule is nor do you know mine so don't act like I'm supposed to know and you're just giving me an update on how things went. A little background would be nice. Start at the beginning. You hosted a baby shower for someone at the Creek and it was small but went well. Ok, that's all I need to know. I had a good time meeting the older ladies at New Pal and I'll be joining a Bible study there starting this next Wednesday on the book of Nehemiah. The Bible study is about 6 weeks long and is perfect for me before school starts. Listen to what I am doing and I'll listen to what you're doing. And we will be better for it. Widen your sights to places beyond Franklin Township and Indian Creek Christian Church. Sigh.

 - And now we are exhausted and I can barely keep my eyes open. My fibro flare up from the gluten is still ongoing and hurting like crazy. I've felt less of the pains, but they are still there. My eyes were better today, but now they hurt. I'm just tired, tand that's hard. But I was more motivated today, and that helped. I was giddy enough to express my greatest gratitude towards Jared. He didn't get to work on the J or but he got to plant a tree to finish the tree. I'm sure he's a happy guy, too.

Abishai got everything out and ready for eggy toast, first time he asked for it in over a week!

I see them, too. We aren't sure if they are Christians or not, but I love to see them taking their walks. They are out on the sidewalks much more often than us white folks.

We have no idea what kind of bug this guy is. He was pretty big though. I don't even know what kind of family he belongs to. A moth? A butterfly? A wasp? Since his wings are out, probably moth. Doesn't look like he has a stinger. Jared says he sounded like a bee or fly or wasp as it went by. It's not a horsefly but definitely as big or bigger than one. Strange thing. I asked on FB (and immediately got totalled sidetracked for an hour) and we determined it was a tiger bee fly and it eats carpenter bee larvae! Yeah! I'll tell Jared not to kill it! And it doesn't have a stinger and it doesn't bother anything else. So, we won't bother it!

Ta da! Jared got the pool filter all done! He clamped down the hoses, put the sand in the filter, and got it mounted on the blocks. Now we just need water and I'll get it pumping. I know he won't follow the instructions, so I'm going to do that. In fact, he already tried to turn it on and he pressed the buttons not knowing what he was doing and set the automatic timer to 3 hrs of filtering. But when I looked in the book, it needs 5 hrs of filtering. The details are important, dear. That's why you had to go back and get pool filter sand and not play sand, dear. Oh dear. And this is why I'm going to do the testing and pool chemicals, too, instead of letting him just dump whatever he feels like in. Oi! It's my project. He just needed to do the big physical work.

I didn't know all of these existed! So sweet!

I love these sayings, too, because it's so true.

This is why chiropractoric treatment is so important and works so well. Because when you have your spine properly aligned and have the spaces opened up and blood flowing properly and nerves wide open to send the signals, then all your organs can work right. I've seen a chiropractor at least once a month for most of the last 15 years now and I know it has helped in keeping me better than I could have been without one. Best $15-50 I spend every month. I do have degeneration and some curvature from not doing it in my 20's. And I have lots of family history of back issues. And I still don't have great posture because of my muscles being weak. Jared can't or won't go back to a chiropractor that would work around his spine surgery area to keep the rest of him in alignment. I'm sure there's a specialist one that could do it. But this diagram just proves to you how a) wonderfully we are created by God. This couldn't have happened by chance. and b) just how cool the body is. And you can't just go to one doctor to fix a problem. We need integrated medicine. And in this country, we don't have it. We have too many specialists who don't talk to each other. We treat symptoms and we don't look at causation and the whole body. I didn't get anatomy and physiology. So everything I've learned from just being a patient. And at this point, I feel like I know a lot of what the doctors know and have pieced together how in layman's terms how the different systems work. I don't know the Latin terms for each little nerve in the body, but I can certain tell you that this part effects this part when I press on it. And acupressure from points on the foot as well. I love it!

Yeah, why is that?

Today became the day for the pool water guy to come! Praise the Lord! I'm a bit tired but I tried to show Jared as much excitement and thanks as I could! There just happened to be an independent pool water guy that had one more slot open today who could come down from Lebanon to quickly fill up our pool before he had to be at a fair for his granddaughter. How sweet is that?! I love local businesses! I would much rather pay them than anyone else! It took maybe 20-30 minutes tops to fill our pool and he was barely letting the water run out from the truck! We went with Dan's Pool Water from Lebanon, Indiana. He drives all over Indiana with his huge water truck and gets water from all the major towns and cities, except Indianapolis. He doesn't like Indy's water and I don't blame him. I know they use a ton of chlorine and stuff. And there was another city he doesn't like right now because it was really green, but it had been good in the past he said. He's been doing this for years and years it sounded like. So that's impressive. You just never know what you're going to get when you go local. But sometimes, you can get the best of the best. He was an older gentlemen, too, very talkative. So much fun!

He's been ready since we said the pool water guy would be here in 30 minutes!

Abishai is jumping on the trampoline dressed fully in his swim gear watching the pool fill up with water!

Halfway there!

And done! It looks so clean! I hope we don't mess it up when we start up the filter and chemicals!

Little man is first one in the super cold pool! What a brave youngling!

And go! No hesitation!

I think he loves it! And he can touch the bottom and keep his mouth above the water, but barely. We'll probably take the ladder out when we aren't outside just in case. Abishai is very obedient and cautious, but I have a big fear of kids drowning and since we don't have an actual lock on the gate, I want to keep the ladder out. Abishai lasted maybe 30 minutes because it was super cold and it's only 85 degrees outside. We'll put the cover on it and see if the sun and the cover will help warm up the water faster.

Jared jumped in, too, after he helped the pool water guy with his hoses. I found all the floaties and came across these two floaties that the kids used with Grandma and Grandpa on a trip a couple of years ago. Yeah! I do want to pick up a couple of others, but I think we have just enough for now. And I got those new goggles, too! Cool! I already used the old strainer to get out some of the nasty stuff as the pool was filling, so we're getting there. We are now pool owners! Jared is not as excited about it as I am, but he knows we'll love it!

Ready, set, go!

Push me over, Daddy!

We hadn't discussed it ahead of time, but as we were waking her up, and deciding on what needed to be done today, we thought that maybe we should tidy up the lawn today because there was some bits of long grass in the back yard, right where we come off the deck. So yes, we made the poor girl mow the back yard. It's like 85 degrees with a breeze. It's taken her 4 hrs to do the backyard and she's still out there trimming. She's come inside every 10 minutes for a drink. I don't know she stretches this chore out so long! And there's hardly any grass to mow! But we wanted her to do the whole yard so that it's all the same height. We don't the dog or us to have ticks and all that. She can skip the front yard for the most part because it's all brown. I don't know if Daddy will make her do the ditch, but she probably should take the trimmer to it. Keturah is not at all happy and is about to cry over it. Girl, you haven't mowed in two weeks. Stop it. You've been inside all week long. Get over it! And then jump in the pool and cool your attitude off. Good grief!

Ah! Check this out! In less than 12 months of being super serious about it, we have a pool! Oh my goodness, WE HAVE A POOL IN OUR BACKYARD! And a trampoline! And a swingset! And a basketball hoop! And a proper flower garden with real mulch! More than we ever had in Beech Grove or Charlottetown! I feel like I've hit the jackpot! My bank account feels low and crazy and out of sorts because it really is right now. Monies aren't where they should be. But the money I asked for and set aside for this was there when it was needed. My other money woes had nothing to do with this purchase and the bits and pieces that go with it. Those monies come from a different fund. I cannot believe it! Look at it! It's so silly that the $1,200 we've spent doesn't seem like a lot to a lot of people who have two jobs and spend that much on their rent or mortgage payment or whatever. But to us, it's a big chunk. And we are super careful about our needs and wants. That's why I asked for money for this for Christmas. That's why I waited until the IRS refund came and set that aside for this. That's why we waited until Jared's brother and sister in law came to help set it up instead of hiring help. That's why we waited until the pool was on sale. We paid for the water today because money was set aside for it. We haven't bought pool toys yet, but we have saved all those toys in there from the previous 5 years because we are careful with our things. We reused the wood we had on hand to build a platform for the filter. The sand for the filter wasn't too bad at all. And we plan to invite people over to use it with us. I always plan the things we buy with others in mind. How can I make our house more hospitable? It's so small, but I can certainly get a few families over here at a time. Just because we have old furniture, inside and out, doesn't mean I can't keep it clean and ready for a guest to stop by. I can make sure I have drinks in the fridge, coffee, tea, sugar and sugar substitute. I can have soap in my soap dispensers and fresh hand towels and toilet paper on the rack, clean sinks and toilets. God blessed us with a home, and I want to use it for his Kingdom. You don't need a pool or trampoline to do that. But I hope it helps even more. And now the kids can play in our pool or we can play in Kellie's pool when we both go back and forth to Greenfield, lol. Ah, we have a pool. I can't wait to get in it when it warms up. I'll give it a week or so. I feel like I've moved up in the world, made a step up from where my parents were. We'll get everything else straightened out soon. The monies are there. It's just not in the right accounts at the right time. Patience. God is good!

Sunday - Rain!

- Well, we got the pool up yesterday and then it decides to rain all day! Bummers! At least it's when we are waiting for the water to warm up anyway. I'm glad we put the cover on it as well. The holes in the cover seem to be draining the rainwater pretty well, and we got the string tight enough that it's staying on. I'm still in disbelief that we actually own a pool! It's ours! I'm responsible for this humongous huge toy! I'll have Jared get a pH testing kit tomorrow. He explained what his looked like growing up and I think I can easily handle it. I was the one who test our 20 gallon fish tank growing up so I'm pretty familiar of filling a vial, adding a testing liquid and comparing it to a range of colors. And then putting in a certain amount of chemicals to balance it. It's detailed work and I'm happy to handle that part. All of the kids have been warned that it's everyone's job to take a few minutes and keep the leaves out, even if they aren't going swimming that day. It's just a chore we all will take turns with. I'm happy to do it when I'm out there watching Abishai, even if I'm not getting in, I'll reach what I can. But if they get in, they can take just a few minutes and do what they can. I don't plan on covering it every single day if we plan on using it every day. We only covered it to try to get it to warm up faster over the next couple of days because it is so cold and because we knew it was going to be raining. So, we'll see. It might warm up faster if the cover is off. I just don't know. So, we'll see. I just know, it looks very pretty sitting out there next to the trampoline.

- As I walked out to get in the car today, I noticed that Leah or someone dropped off some of those plastic Adirondack chairs so I think I'm going to put those near the pool for towels and such. The sand in the sand box was used for the pool, so, I think I might suggest we make that a fire pit so it's closer to the house. And if so, we can put the chairs around it. It's perfect amount away from the pool for the towels not to get wet from all the splashing. Or, I can get out the umbrella I have and put that in the middle and put the two chairs there. Eek! Nice idea! We'll see how it really goes though.  I'll work on it when it stops raining.

- As always, I was late to church this morning, but I did make it. And I almost fell asleep again. Poor Pastor Brett must think I think his sermons are boring. I'll need to explain to him that it's not him. He usually has a clear view of me, lol. It was a good one again on Daniel 9 again. I wrote some great notes about how it links back to the other prophets. Man, I never realized how linked all those OT prophets are! I mean, I kind of guessed, but I need more of that! Teach me more! I know all the other stuff in the Bible historically speaking, but I don't know how the OT prophets overlap and who they talk about and when. Feed me! And then I stayed for the congregational meeting. Hardly anyone else did. It was to vote on letting Pastor Daron to go down to part-time and hiring Pastor Bill to come on as part-time for the K-8 kids. I couldn't vote, but I wanted to learn how this church does all that. And I did. I learned that in their bylaws, they have to vote for the pastoral roles when they hire someone, but not for other roles when hiring, like secretaries. I also learned that in the bylaws for elders, that they need a lay person elder next, so they currently have the 3 elders that vote that are also staff, Pastor Brett, Pastor Daron, and Pastor Rex, but Pastor Bill can't be a voting elder until they have another voting elder that isn't on staff. Now, I'm sure I don't understand it completely yet, but it's good to hear that it's not just the pastors that are voting elders. That's a "phew" moment for me because I was a little worried that with so few elders it was beginning to look like the IAHE board and not having enough people from the outside sort of speak. Oh, I just remembered, I think there is another lay person that is an elder at New Pal Bible Church, he's on the website, I just don't remember who he is directly. Anyway, I'm sure I can ask for more info. But point is, I stuck around today to learn and seek out the inner workings of NPBC. I'm just surprised that so many people didn't. Both Pastor Daron and Pastor Bill shared their hearts in detail of what was going on in their ministries and what they were bringing to the table and what they were giving up or willing to give. I especially appreciated hearing Pastor Bill's ministry history and heart. He shared his ability to be a team player and not wanting to come in and plow through and wreck everything that is already here in the children's ministry. I also learned that attendance is up 40% over last year, which is mostly due to Covid. But, it could also mean regular growth, too, especially because of such a young crowd of families as well. I know my friends are all new to this church, too. It wasn't because they were part of it and came back, but it was because this church did allow worship during Covid and then they stayed because they found things for the kids and they agreed with the leaders. And I, too, am finding reasons to stay.

- I prayed that I would talk to someone I sort of knew and reconnect with them and/or I would get another affirmation of being in the right place today. Well, I saw a couple of familiar faces, one from last Tuesday at least, Charlotte. And then I chatted with Molly for a few minutes. And then I enjoyed service and the meeting. But before the sermon, I got my affirmation. Pastor Brett, for whatever reason, spent a few minutes, boldly asking us to call our state legislators to tell them to vote pro-life. That as Christians, we vote pro-life. He mentioned the special session that starts in a week. He said that many in the congregation have been involved in sidewalk ministry and crisis pregnancy centers, or adopted or fostered, or supported those who do. He professed to being pro-life unashamedly, and didn't leave us wondering like Dan Hamel  and Indian Creek does. I hate that Indian Creek and her staff refuse to just come out and say it. Just freakin' say it. Say abortion is wrong. Don't be afraid to offend pro-choice people. Say it from the rooftops. Abortion is wrong. End of story. Christians should believe that abortion is wrong. It's black and white. Stop believing in relativism. Stop coddling every viewpoint. Stop trying to be ok to everyone. If they are offended, they can leave. Just say it. Be bold. We believe this. If you don't like it, leave. And when Pastor Brett preaches, he says, after his deep study, he concludes this or that, although there are other opinions. So he does acknowledge other opinions. But he also owns his own. And preaches from that. So does the others. Strength. Not a pansy. I can't stand wimps and pansies. I want to follow strong leaders. Not ones that will follow the crowd of humanism and unity tactics where moral relativism exists. And that's where I think Indian Creek has been headed. Gary didn't act like that. Gary was clear, very clear. But this next generation of leaders are all soft in their beliefs. And they are all like, "let's just all get along and here's my opinion and here's your opinion. it's ok to interpret Scripture this way and it's ok for me to interpret it this way, they are both right." No, they both can't be right. There's some doctrinal issues that are tried and true and you have to hold to it. and if you have small groups that are not led by mature believers but by immature grown up in this monstrous disaster of a culture, your church is going to grow soft and weak and lukewarm and I will have no part in it. When apologetics is not taught. And kids are sent off to play more than they are taught Biblical truth about a subject or they only focus on Jesus saves and Jesus loves you just the way you are and they aren't taught about the next step of being holy and that this, this and this is wrong, well, see ya. Give me some meat, not spiritual milk. Sermon devos are so pathetic. Compare them to what I'm about to receive on Wednesdays, oh my goodness, I can't wait. I wish I could get up early and get to the 9am Sunday School with Pastor Bill. I hear it's fantastic. Probably like Mark Miller's. Spiritual meat! 

- So, long story short, yup, I was affirmed again today. I can't wait to meet and get to know the ladies on Wednesday mornings. I'm hoping that will help me solidify some more names. I'm trying! I explained to Jared how I felt after Leah had tried to talk about the baby shower she had thrown for someone at Indian Creek yesterday and how I had no context about what she was talking about, a) that she had a baby shower she was doing and b) who it was because the name sounded like a boys' name and Jared understood. I just don't have enough brain space to learn anymore about anyone at Indian Creek. Maybe the new youth minister because he's teaching my children. Maybe Abishai's Sunday School teachers. That is it. I don't care who is on staff. I don't care who the elders are. It's not my church. I don't care who is on church singing and who is pregnant and who is moving. The people I know and care about from Indian Creek are on my Facebook. I get plenty of updates there. Otherwise, keep me out of it. And I guess some things were said in their sermon today that related to what I said at lunch and of course I didn't listen to their sermon so, yup, that didn't help. Did anyone ask about my morning? Nope. Gary was out of town and he didn't ask when he called in during lunch either. Thanks for caring family. I appreciate it.

- Speaking of lunch, Leah had set her oven to cook pizzas and everything was fine and I was watching them and then all of sudden, the fire alarm was going off and the whole kitchen was smoking. The pizza on the bottom rack was in the way back and touching the oven itself and the cardboard it was on had caught on fire and was smoldering. Good grief! I was watching them! So it charred that pizza which was I guess a special $10 pizza. Whoops. Jared and Benaiah still ate it. We still had enough of other pizza to it and the gluten free one was fine, until Leah didn't clean the scissors she cuts pizza with in between cutting the gluten pizza and the gluten free pizza. It's a good thing I'm not a celiac. She knows better than to cross contaminate like that. She also stacked them on top of each other without a plastic layer in between, too. Sigh. I know it was crazy today, though. And she was concerned about the people asking if she was having knee surgery. Well, she hasn't spoken to us about it, so, I can say it isn't happening yet. But then again, we don't usually get much warning about those things either. She's been needing knee surgery for years anyway. Gotta love the rumor mill at church though.

- I asked Benaiah what his classes for the fall were and he said he already told us at dinner. I'm like, no you haven't, not in my presence. And he said he had and he wouldn't tell me. Well, that's not nice. If I knew them, or knew them enough, I wouldn't be asking. If I was your grandfather who has dementia you would be answering him. Jerk. I have a lot to remember you know. I was just trying to have a conversation with you. Then he mentions a Brandon guy on tech and I had no clue who he was talking about. The only Brandon I know of is the new youth minister. So, thanks for clarifying that. You all have to remember I don't know anything about your church anymore. I think I'll just start saying "Pastor Brett said, this or that" and they can see how it all feels to not know what's going on. Sigh. None of them have asked when we will start school or if Justin is excited about his senior year or anything. Nope, we just talked about Benaiah's job again. And about nursery and who is pregnant. Stuff that doesn't have any consequence to our family. I might have to put an end to that kind of conversation because it's not helpful to us. Enough ministry talk. I don't care who or what at Indian Creek. I care about the 4 children at this dining room table. How about we talk about them and their lives. Or better yet. Let's talk about my life and how I'm feeling. Who cares about who is moving away. Enough of the church gossip. I don't give a care.

- I had a migraine today. And after we ate pizza and then meringues, I had a stomachache, too. So I went home and went to bed. The rest of them had screen time. Jared went to see Jim for awhile. I slept for a bit. Jared did all the driving for the youth groups tonight. I'm still exhausted. I had gotten off the computer at 1 but had written a text to Jared telling him some concerns and it had taken me until 1:45. And then woken up with a migraine because of the weather and straining to stay awake during the sermon. And then family dinner. And then I made coffee and I've sat here for the last 4 hours. But I'm finally done. I can rest easy and start again tomorrow. And maybe this week I'll actually take the time to go through the photo cds and check that they are ok. But I better hurry up and finish so I can watch something before I have to go to bed because I promised a better bedtime. Sigh.

- One last thing, there was a deadly shooting at our mall tonight in Greenwood, Greenwood Park Mall. Greenwood is a large suburban town south of us where we have a lot of our appointments and main shopping. It's the mall we frequent. At closing time a male shooter just lit up the food court with probably 20 bullets, killing 2 or 3 people and injuring a few more. He may have been shot and killed as well. It's not the first time a shooting has happened at that mall in the last few years. But it's another reminder that a) we need to keep the right to bear arms so we can defend ourselves and b) be aware of our surroundings because anything can happen at any time. I know someone who was there and fled to the parking lot with her daughter when it happened. We know a cop who listened in on the police scanner. I'm sure we know other people on the police force or worked at the mall or were shopping. This is our town in the midwest in Indiana. Shootings happen everywhere. Nowhere is safe. Sin is everywhere. We must repent. We must turn back to Jesus, and not just be lukewarm, but be bold with changing our lives. I wrote a long FB post this morning about grief and death. And here again, people are facing it. I hate death so much. I'm so tired of it. I want to live in the land of the living. And I'm trying. I'm tired of sitting home and reading about the land of the dead. Enough of the death culture. Let's go out and live.

Abishai was ready for church extra early because he wanted to be the first one in his classroom. He can't actually go into his classroom as early as he thinks. He did open his new Bible and try to read Genesis 1:1 but I think he got stuck because he closed it up quickly.

Then he rolled away from me because he's such a goof. He didn't want to eat breakfast either because he just wanted to get going. He's that kind of kid that if he's focused on a certain thing, he will skip meals. We have to watch him carefully and make sure he stops to eat. Because if he doesn't, he'll end of hangry.

She's always ready to go on time for her things. Waiting for Grandma to pick her up. Socks always lets us know when Grandma is here.

Now how do people do these mirror selfie things? I don't know but I was trying to show how I can finally wear this shirt comfortably after having bought it at Goodwill like 4 years ago. And I matched it with an Old Navy pair of pants that now look a bit too big on me. I tucked in a white t-shirt because the pants are supposed to be high waisted. I do like the spring colors and fittedness of the top. I felt a lot skinnier this morning but I felt quite bloated after lunch when I actually took the photo.

Fitted tops for the win. And you can see the colors better here. Thank goodness for the selfie and zoom out feature.

There, now you can see the pants better. Linen type pants but a little too much room in the seat and hip area now. And there's a bit of a ruffle at the top but the top kind of hid it. Plus there were some ties that made a fabric belt, and a button, and some hook and eye closures, with the wide waistband. Pretty fashionable or something. I like to take pictures of new outfits to help me remember what I do end up putting together.

The End