Year 7, August 15th-21st, 2022: Soft Launching School

 Monday - 

- So we soft launched school today because why not. We had a pretty open day and if I just started the clock ticking, I think I would feel better. And I did. I gave Keturah a large pile of work. I told her she had told me she was bored and she said, "I didn't say that." Ok well, you look bored then. And you asked me when we would start school, so I thought you wanted to start school. She retorted, "No, I was just curious so I would know how many free days I had left." Ok whatever, here's your pile, get started. She emerged from her room 3 hrs later hangry and frustrated that it took up so much time. Well, you are a freshman in high school. And I gave her more than I was planning to give her at first. She's fine. I think she was just a little surprised that I gave her so much. I gave her pretty much everything except Bible and History and Speech/Debate Club. I laid out Justin's Stewardship books and Physics book on his computer table so he wouldn't miss it. And he did do it before his afternoon screen time. He has to keep that up because there's no guarantee of catching up on his days off because he might be busy on his day off fixing something else. Who knows. We'll see how it all pans out.

- I did some read alouds, math and science with Abishai. He was being all floppy fish today because he suddenly couldn't write a number 5 and he had a complete and utter emotional breakdown over it. It was almost comical to watch. Snot and tears all because he couldn't write a number. Wowzers. He was feeling yucky with a head cold anyway. But he did manage to calm himself down once I walked away because I refused to let him have screen time until he finished.

- After school was done, I went out to mail my sister's very late birthday gift, get some prescriptions, and pick a FEW groceries. And I mean a FEW because we don't get paid until Saturday. Monies have been awful lately. The cash flow is gone, and our credit card balance is high and continuing to go higher despite our best efforts. I'm cutting back and postponing when I can. But I still say yes too much. Oo, see that sale? Ok, yes, I'll get that. Oo, Jared could use that gimmicky thing on FB, I might as well get that. And the kids have been good this week, I'll get them three kinds of popsicles and another pool floatie. Yeah, I need to keep pulling back. I mean I have. I'm not going to outings where I would buy specialty coffees. Or if I do, I'll get a small instead of a large. I'll drive the kids home for lunch instead of buying McDonald's. But something is way wonky with everything. Inflation, summer electric bills, gas prices. We never caught up from Christmas either. And now, with Jared's injury, we are going to have another round of medical bills. This is what has me worried and freaked out. We are getting into actual credit card debt without a potential to resolve it for the first time in over a decade. And I'm always afraid it's me that messes it up. Either I forget a bill or I overspend on these tiny luxuries. The pool and all the accessories came out of IRS funds. I'm pretty sure, even with the pool toys, we've spent less than $1500. That isn't that much. And although we haven't used it much in the last week, once we've spent this initial amount, we will buy replacement and upgrades at a much slower rate as we become familiar with it. And next year, we will use it more.

- And yes, one of the first things I thought about with Jared's injury is that he won't be able to get in the pool with Abishai. I know that I don't like to get in if it's cold or if the sun is beating down on my head. I thought about getting a sunhat that is meant for in the water, but that's another expense. I don't really want to get more discoloration on my Beech Grove hat. I suppose I could just wear one of the green hats that I designate as my pool hat. Yeah, I'll go with that. Compromise and save money and buy a sunhat next year. And I'll do my best to store the pool toys properly so they will last. I didn't find a good bin, but if Aldi still has a good laundry basket on sale, I'll grab one of those. Jared did say he will try to get in with Abishai unless the doctor tells him not to. On Sunday he was able to reassure me that he's not an invalid and that he can still play a little with Abishai, like video games and make eggy toast and help a bit.

- Speaking of Jared, he did go to work today. I wish he hadn't. I think he should stay home and work from home. But they had a deadline today with the last bit of updates with this newest book on the preaching elder. I think he needs to rest in the middle of the day so that gravity doesn't compress the disc more before it gets looked at. And I don't think he really should be driving with those meds in him either. But will he listen? No. I guess I just feel like if you are actually going to meetings or in the workplace, then people assume you are doing ok. And if you are taking time off, then you out of sight and out of mind and unavailable to do as much. And he confessed to feeling like others are always tweaking what he does anyway, so why does he need to be there for the final rundown? Ouch. I just want him to be home so I can keep an eye on him and make it up to him for a being a crummy, grumpy wife on Saturday. I want to baby him. Is that too much to ask? 

- Well, Abishai didn't feel well, so he ended up not going to Tang Soo Do and therefore, he and Keturah stayed home, while Jared went to Bible study, yes, with his big back brace and his story of adventure of falling out of the tree, and Justin and I went to an info night for speech and debate club. Fun times!

- But oh wow! I'm so excited! Procla!m is the name of the Speech and Debate club and yes, it's with New Pal's youth group leader's kids, so Justin knows them. It's a small group, but the leader has been doing this for probably 20 years. It's going to be a TON of hard work for our kids, but so worth it! Lots of categories to choose from. I have to help a bit, too. Oh, and there's a class in the afternoon on speech for the young ones and Abishai can participate in that. He says no but I think he's going to absolutely ham it up! And of course our teens are going to think it's really, really, really hard but I just know by the end of the year, whatever teaching we come away with, it's going to be really helpful for life. Impromptu speaking and apologetic speaking to regular debate stuff for moot court and everything in between! And the kids that are involved now will have a variety of experiences. Some are extremely talented and some only started last year. I told Justin just to make the best of it. Put as much effort as you can into it. I realize he won't have the long term goal of getting to nationals but I also know there's a lot of potential of learning how to impromptu speak and use apologetics in everyday life. And that's what I really want him to get out of it. Articulate his faith. And both of them will learn how to speak up and carry themselves. I'm just super duper excited! And it's only $50 for the whole family! So much cheaper than a college class or even buying books! The leaders truly have a love for the craft and it's all Christian minded, too. I just knew that there was a reason the Holy Spirit was having me procrastinate on signing Justin up for anything else. I wasn't ready to do dual credit anywhere or just an ordinary speech class. I didn't like the offerings at IEW. And online wasn't ideal either. And I wasn't finding anything at a co op. And then BOOM. This came up. And not only is it super affordable, it's within our social circle with my new friends! And could open up potential NEW contacts in this area! I can NOT wait! New homeschool friends! It's going to be such a challenge to get there at 9am on a Monday morning and be there until 2:30pm. But it's going to be so WORTH it! And for all THREE kids to benefit?! Bless my heart, I'm going to die! One LAST activity together! I couldn't be any more THRILLED! What a blessing! And I hope that Keturah falls in love with it. She would be SO good at something like this. Put all those argumentative logical skills to GREAT use! It's a gift when it's used the right way. Who knows. Maybe it will open up some new avenues of thinking of careers for the both of them. Spread the feast. Try something new. God has provided the right opportunity at the right time. A highlight of my week, that's for sure. The kids don't get a choice with this one. I went to the meeting 95% sure we were joining. I left the meeting with our paperwork filled out and handed in. Done!

I love coffee, but I've never memorized what all the names meant. I really only know the Mocha ;-) As long as it has creamer and possibly flavor and chocolate, I'm happy.

Transylvania Cabbage makes a great breakfast, doesn't it? At least she's eating, right? First day of school breakfast of champions!

Getting down to business. That is until he tried to write the number 5 and then it was all tears and snot. I had to walk away and let him work that out for himself. He finally figured it out. But I held the line and said no screen until the math page was done. Eventually, his desire to watch YouTube videos won out on his inability to write the number 5, or so he thought.

Little man, why do you have your duckie blankie out? Because I like it, Mom. He is rubbing the edge of it between his thumb and index finger like he does most nights to fall asleep. It's a coping mechanism. None of the other kids did that. I know it's a tactile thing. I'm a fiddler myself. The duckie blankie is his baby blanket that we actually already replaced once. It really is supposed to stay in his bed. I'm just not sure why it's out again. Why is he needing comfort? He's so big now with all his swimming, his humongous progress in reading, his social skills, overnight camp, just being in 2nd grade. Why is he reverting back to his blankie? There's nothing super difficult going on? Jared and I aren't fighting. Jared hurt his back but he went to work today. I'm not sure. He's also hugging Dinosuary as well. If Abishai was in public school or he had friends from there, they would call him a big baby. I think it's perfect. If it helps him feel comfortable and comforted, then so be it. Don't grow up too fast, kid.

When you are low on food, you improvise. B-L-T with no bread. Extremely messy, but it made the food stretch.

When Jared sits down with his back brace on, he reminds me of this Doctor Who guy, lol. Benaiah's high school teased him about looking like this character, but now the huge brace is making it worse. Or he looks like a drummer from band camp or something.

Tuesday - 

- We had a bit of an upside down day because I needed to take a shower and then I had a doctor's appointment at 1pm, but we hit all the points we needed to by the end of it. Abishai did his math test while I was in the shower and I just answered a few questions at the end. Actually, he did half of one test and then turned two pages instead of one and ended up doing the back of another test. Good thing it was just review materials! Whoops! Keturah got up at a decent time and tackled her work ok. She has come down with Abishai's cold we think. Justin was up and out the door to work on time as well. I also got up and tried my best to stay awake and moving, but it was still very difficult.

- I started with breakfast and Bible study, then my shower and then didn't have time for lunch. Doctor's appointment and then home. Abishai went outside for a quick swim where we thought we would try me reading to him. Well, even with him just floating and me sitting in a chair, he couldn't hear me. Oh well. That's fine. We knew he wasn't going to stay long because it was pleasant out, so it wasn't terribly hot and the pool wasn't terribly warm. I just let him play and I tried to catch up on my phone stuff. By then he was done and we went inside for him to dry off. He warmed up while I did the read aloud and Science lesson with him. Then I made dinner.

- I made dinner, which was meatballs with a sweet sauce. I undercooked the potatoes for mashed potatoes this time, so I had to put them back on the stove after I had drained the water and already added the sour cream. I did save them though! I added some water and let them carefully boil while I watched them and stirred them so the sour cream wouldn't scald. And amazingly, I didn't burn them! Yippee! By the time they were done, everyone was long gone from the table though. The meatballs were devoured though, and most took cucumbers and cooked zucchini. Then I cleaned up dinner.

- After that, I put pool chemicals in, filled up the window washer fluid in my car (yes, I do have some low key car mechanic skills), put the laundry away and finished making the bed (Jared had done the fitted sheet earlier when he came home early to put ice on his back), vacuumed the boys' room from dust from one of the rugs, laid down on my bed for 1/2 hr to rest my back, corrected everyone's math, made sure the dishwasher ran, got my diffuser running in Keturah's room to help her cough that won't go away again, got a tiny piece of wood out of Abishai's eye that fell when he put his feet up on his bed, and finally sat down at my computer 3 hrs later. I think I made up for the lack of being a good wife on Saturday. 

- But I'll never fully catch up unless I do a ton over Labor Day weekend. The blog is a mess, the picture cds are a mess, I have IAHE stuff to do, I'm behind on house projects, too. I don't know when I'll squeeze in other portions of school work, plus speech and debate class. I'm exhausted already. And I have no free time at all. I just don't know. Then there's extended family demands, too. And health concerns and appointments. I need rest and sleep, but I don't know when and how I'll get it. I need time away from people, but that's nearly impossible because I'm losing touch with the few friends I have. It's hard.

- And it's very hard to watch your husband suffer and not speak up for himself. He's been going to work the past two days. He should not be going to work. He should be home resting and icing his back. They got the current project done and sent on Monday. I encouraged him to come home early today and he did. I don't think I heard the ER doc give a specific "don't go to work" recommendation but I think Jared is trying to prove himself useful still. He doesn't need to. He should be off work this week until we see the specialist. He think just because he can still sit in a chair with a brace on that he should. He should still get up and move around, yes, but not in his regular environment where they won't understand to give him a break. If he stays home, they will leave him alone. Out of sight, out of mind. Sitting upright all day has to be putting some pressure on the disc, too, and on the compression fracture. Laying down should relieve some of that tension. At least it does for me like after I did 3 hrs of work on my feet tonight. I hurt a million when I laid down on my bed for 30 minutes. Bad posture, lack of ab and back muscles, leaning over to do this or that, and my lower back was in the wrong position stressed out. It needed to stop working against gravity and stretch out. So does Jared's. If he was home, he could take more breaks. And then he wouldn't have been in a stupid social media post today. They took a group photo with a donation check to show their appreciation. And poor Jared was the only one not smiling and he is wearing his harness. He was only wearing a green t-shirt today. That's not a great signal you want to send out to your constituents. And when Jared tried to object, they still made him be part of the photo. You'll see how uncomfortable he looked. I wasn't happy about it. It's time to come home and rest. You fell out of a tree, sweetheart. You should be resting until you see orthopedics, not still trying to work. I think your projects can wait a few days. That's what computers are for. But, it's his job, his body, what can a wife say? Maybe it's me that needs more rest. Let's move on to that rest, shall we?

Abishai, the helper, as always, putting away Daddy's ice packs for him in the morning.

OOOO, I was curious how closely the Greeks were to when Nehemiah lived and they were contemporaries! Cool! So that means while Nehemiah was leading the people of Israel back to worshiping God and Old Testament law after they rebuilt the walls of Jerusalem, the Greeks were becoming famous in the Mediterranean area. See, you can NOT study the Bible without know the history and you can NOT study ancient history without studying the Bible. They go together!

This is the book that the fold out timeline comes from. Jared got it freshman year in college. Best timeline of the Bible ever! Well, for studying the kings and prophets.

Thanks to losing weight, my blood pressure issue went down and I went off my blood pressure med. This is my reading today without the med. Yeah!

Great partnership I'm sure. I just wish my husband didn't look so sad in the background. He's not even smiling. And how do you explain the whole harness get up to your constituents? I found this photo on e2's Facebook page. Poor guy. I just want him to stay home so I can take care of him.

First time in the pool in like 10 days. It was a bit chilly and we had a lot of floaties but that doesn't bother Abishai. The intake valves were pretty stuck with stuff, too. I took those off and of course that debris went flying everywhere just to be sucked up again. I'll have to get in there with Keturah and have her hold the plug so I can vacuum somehow.

Time for PE class! Physical Education, 30 minutes, check!

Well, we tried to do school outside, but it was still difficult to hear, so we gave up. He didn't swim for that long so we opted to just read inside when he was warming up.

Dunkin Donuts!

Today was National Rum Day! I bet Jared likes that one! He said he wouldn't drink any alcohol while he was on the narcotics though. Wise choice.

Oooo, I like the Non-profit day and Massachusetts Day, those sound good!

Wednesday - 

- Last night was rough. I finally let myself fully grieve. It's not ok. It's not ok my husband climbed a tree and fell out of it. It's not ok that I had all those selfish thoughts all day. It IS ok that I did my best not to yell at him and show it during the ER visit and that I apologized to him the next day and that he forgave me. It's not ok that he thinks he has to show up at work this week. It is not ok that he forced into a photo to show of a donation check for e2 with his back brace and not being able to smile because he's loopy on heavy duty pain meds. It's not ok that my husband feels like his work is never good enough for his boss and the boss' secretary and that he feels he can't bring up his feelings with them because they won't listen. It's not ok that we have to face yet another health crisis. It's not ok that our finances are in the worst shape they've been in in over a decade and that our credit card debt is consistently going up and I don't know where or how to stop it and now we are going to have medical bills again. It's not ok that we can't travel like my friends who are 25 and 71. It's not ok that in the same evening my father in law stops by to see how his son is doing and it's obvious that he's in pain and then he dares to ask where and when we are traveling for Christmas via text, thinking that everything is going to be just fine and dandy by then, that someone just "lives with it" because someone else in his social circle does and that this new back problem won't affect long distance or even short distance traveling for us. It's not ok to just think about the good things without acknowledging the bad things and grieving the loss of health and ability to function like other 40 yr olds we associate with. We are stuck. Stuck in the loss of ability to earn an income. Stuck in the ability to go enjoy life. I'm currently stuck in my house because I'm allergic to the sun. He's stuck in the house because of medication that makes him sleepy and he has to wear a back brace.

- Does any of this seem fair to you? It doesn't? Ok, good. It doesn't seem fair to me either. It's all of Satan's doing, of course. And there are moments of good, i.e. things could be worse, and of course I've thought of them all already. But by shoving the moments of sadness, grief, and bad down or to the side or away, you're only causing more stress to your physical body and it will come out in different ways. For me, for example, it upsets my hormone balance and causes me to cycle incorrectly. I am on migraine prevention and I've gotten several migraines lately. My inflammation is high. My skin is breaking out and I haven't even been in the sun. I don't eat properly. I spend too much time on TV shows at night trying to forget the stress and then I don't sleep and then I'm exhausted and more stressed. So, I'm stressed out. And no one can tell me I'm only to see the good in a situation or to push me to see the good without balancing it with the grief I feel. Balance is what we need in every crisis. David wept for his dying son. Jesus wept. Jeremiah the prophet was called the weeping prophet. David also cried out to God and praised God both in the same Psalm in most of the Psalms he wrote. The Holy Spirit is grieved. It is true that Paul says to have joy in all circumstances, but that does NOT mean we are also to eliminate the grief in those same circumstances. I believe it's a both/and. You can see God work in any of your circumstances, but there is a time to grieve and be upset and frustrated as well. And it doesn't make you a bad Christian. In fact, I think there are plenty of Bible verses and examples of God's people crying out to God. We are called to cry out to Him. 

- And so, I wept, and I wept, and I wept. "It's NOT ok, God, this is NOT ok. I'm NOT ok with going through this AGAIN. How are we supposed to be good stewards of your money if you keep hitting us with these crisis? You know we think about our expenditures. You know we save on items when and where we can. You know we give generously. And yet, you hit us with expensive after expense after expense and we can never seem to get ahead like all the rest of your good little Christian families do. We don't live like the Brakes, or J2, or Mahurins, or Smith. We are poor. Dirt poor still. Racking up debt like it's no tomorrow. And I don't want my Nana's money to pay it off. I don't want the Indiana tax refund it pay it off. I don't want an IRS refund to pay it off. I want us to earn enough money to pay it off. I want to rein in our spending and make wise decisions. I want to balance our budget. I want to live within what you've given us for income. But we can't, Lord, we can't. What did I do?" I have screwed something up and have become like my parents and their financial situation and will have nothing to leave our children. Not even living paycheck to paycheck right now. God will provide a way to pay medical debt. And the credit card debt. He always does. But I want to be better than that. I want to get ahead and anticipate it. I want to have savings set aside to absorb it and not be in the red the instant the crisis hits. I want to be good steward of any extra money that comes in. I want to do better. I can't do that if God's always throwing this crap our way. Inflation in January and now another high deductible we have to meet this year.

- No one expects to be in ill health in their 40's. What we are suffering from doesn't happen until your in your 60's. Our working years are wasted. Our family years are wasted. What are we going to be like when we are grandparents? Invalids? Not able to take our grandchildren anywhere? I get ahead of myself, and yet, I want to do all that I can now to make it past age 60. That is my only health goal. To be healthier than my mom and live as long as my Koski grandmother was 88 when she passed away and I believe my Howell grandmother also lived into her 80's. I can still homeschool my grandchildren, but I won't be able to go on field trips if I get any worse. 

- So, I started the day with that on my mind. I couldn't dwell on it though because I had Bible study to get to. I was extremely tired and nearly fell asleep during Bible study. But I did my best. I wanted to weep though on the way home because just the little snippets of conversation I overheard and that I had myself were enough to remind me again that I am in the right place at the right time, being filled once again with God's word and surrounded by the most lovely Christian women who are hungry to focus on God's word and not the latest gossip or whining about their marriages. Humble women. Women that know and understand God's word and yet, hunger for even more, which makes me want to follow them like a lost puppy dog. Teach me! Feed me! So I can teach and feed others. I found my people and they make me feel happy and at peace and they know my name and they CARE for me. Amen.

- The rest of today consisted of touching based with the kids on their schoolwork, so going over yesterday's math with Keturah (she is needing review on adding and subtracting positive and negative numbers), reading with Abishai, and checking math with Justin. Kya came over for the afternoon and evening. Justin skipped small group because of Kya and because he got Abisahi/Keturah's head cold/allergies. It's been awhile since all three kids came down with the same symptoms within 48 hrs of each other, so yes, probably a head cold. Runny nose and cough (mostly loose), no fever. Fun times. Abishai skipped Tang Soo again because of his cold but also because he said he was tired of being out of the house. Um, ok. You haven't been anywhere since Sunday. You were out on Saturday morning and Sunday morning. You didn't have Mommy or Daddy on Saturday, but you did have them on Sunday afternoon/evening, a good portion of the day M/T/W. I was out for a couple of hrs each day. What gives? He also played "I'm a clingon" all day today with me. Dude. Personal space! I can't type on my phone if you're hanging on my typing arm! Actually, his word is "Attach!" Like a piece of velcro attaches to you. It's very cute, actually, and I welcome it the best I can. By 5pm though, I'm like "Enough!" and I do yell it at him. Poor guy. I need space to finish that one last thing before Jared walks in the door. Plus the other kids haven't done chores and supper isn't made and I'm out of touch points. Go touch the dog or the door knob or the grass blade or the 1,000's of stuffies you have. I'm done, dude. Done! Personal space! I'm trying to read and type here! Because it's now 9:30pm and I have no brain space to finish any blog post.

- Exactly my point. I keep trying to start the new week and then don't finish. So far so good this week, but I have no idea how I'm going to finish up the last 4 weeks except for over Labor Day when the others are gone. Uh, which reminds me, Justin should ask his boss off for those days. Eek! There's always some loose end I'm forgetting! Come on, guys, why I am still so responsible for everyone's little details like this?! It's your turn to be responsible for it! It's your job! And Justin has to still get up in the morning and call in sick if that's his plan for tomorrow. Sigh. Whatever, man.

I thought of Justin, but it's pretty true of all of us.

Mini man's, aka Abishai's lunch. That's a PB sandwich with no jelly. He put the mustard on himself, yes, he LOVES mustard. He's definitely a carb lover! And he uses ALL the carbs, too.

And that's how you do lunch when you're homeschooled. Except they both left a mess in the sink so I had to call them BOTH back to the kitchen. I had JUST left the sink and dishdrainer clean and empty not 5 minutes later. I'm talking ramon noodles everywhere and a clogged sink. Yuck!

Speaking of yuck, this is abhorent! My friend posted this. Brownsburg is a town in Indiana, not far from Indianapolis. And so for my friends who like to argue with me about it never coming to us in the Bible belt, it's here, in full force, small town, big town, it doesn't matter. It makes me sad when I have to argue with people that used to be close to me and I used to look up to and that I still have to interact with because of other situations. And we have to do via social media because they insist on saying things like "I don't see where in the Bible it says that homeschooling is the best option to educate your children." And then I post a photo of a book entitled along the lines of Does God have an Opinion about Education? and it's got page after page after page of Scripture references of why public education is not ideal for the Christian kid right now. Actually, this whole discussion was after a post about should be sending our kids to public school so they could be evangelists to other kids? And I have always argued absolutely not. I was taught in high school, or gleaned, that the majority of your friendships should be with people that believe the same way you do so that you will be encouraged and grow in your faith, and I always thought that meant 80% of your friends and those you hang out with should be Christians. Well, you can't do that if you're going to public school or the group you hang out during school hours between classes or during lunch are non Christians. Well, 25 years later, I have a way different perspective and it's not the students themselves that are the problem, but the agendas that have to be taught, that teachers are forced to teach, they don't want to teach, but they have to teach or else they are fired. So, I'm not necessarily afraid of the peers but the whole school system itself. It's not for learning academics. It's for learning an ideology that I do not agree with. And this particular person's last kid just graduated high school. So her kids are now safe. I'm not here to warn her of her kids. I'm here to warn her and others about her grandkids. And current parents of young ones to pull their kids out now. I help several families a week get out of the system. I know exactly what is going on RIGHT NOW in MY district, in the SUBURBS, which is the middle class mostly Christian or morally upstanding part of society, and it's going to pot. The schools were ok when we were in it. The schools were less ok, but tolerable when Benaiah's peers were in elementary school. The schools are definitely not ok now. Pull those kids out now. And don't send them to Christian schools either because if they take any money from the government, they are subject to any and all government indoctrination as well. The naivety of even the smartest, Christian people floors me. If you aren't in the thick of the fight, step away. I am in the fight. I work with those directly affected. And I receive news directly from others who have also heard first accounts from others. So stop accusing me of not following Biblical principles. I know what Scripture says. I am following Scripture. It tells me to not exasperate or stress out my children. Kids in public school are so stressed out that they need medication, therapy, and they commit suicide. They are confused as to what gender they are. They stray from their faith so easily, no matter what kind of faith life is at home. We are to guard our hearts. I would imagine that means guard our children's hearts. We can't do that by knowingly sending them into an environment with all this false teaching can we? Proverbs tells sons to listen to father's and mother's teaching. Yes, you can teach them on the way to school and in the evenings and weekends, but isn't it easier to do that if you are with them even more often? And this is why I switched churches. At New Palestine Bible Church, these reasons are celebrated and homeschooling is openly talked about and celebrated, and public school parents are also welcome and talked about. It's about 50/50. The mindset is very, very different. I don't feel like an outcast there. The older women embrace me for it. I don't here, "Oh, I wish I could homeschool." I hear, "I homeschool, too!" I almost feel bad for those who don't homeschool and hope they don't feel left out of the conversation. Pure education is also celebrated. Pure Biblical education, just like a new older lady said today that she was glad that the discussion did not stay on personal stories but went back to actual studying of the Bible. Too many times groups focus on husbands and kids and not on the study itself, she said, so she was glad we got back to the Bible study book. And I agree. I'm here to learn tidbits of the other ladies' lives, but I'm mainly here to study the Bible. It's not a small group where we talk about what's our favorite wine. When you find like minded people and you can grow your faith with them, it is a major blessing.

Aw, one proud Dad for reading with his girl.

Thursday - 

- It was a very a good day. Jared had his doctor's appointment this morning. And boy, riding with him when he's on that pain medication is just so much fun sometimes! "Oh, I ate there once, and I'd like to here at that restaurant sometime. I stopped by that liquor shop once and they have a horrible selection." Dude, I think it best when we don't talk when you drive. He usually likes to just concentrate on the road and doesn't want me to talk. But get a little bit of alcohol OR pain medication in him (never both, he's very, very careful about NOT mixing the two of them, and I watch him like a hawk), and his tongue is set loose! And often the topics make no sense or bounce from one to another and I have no idea where he's pulling them from. I just sit there and shake my head. Anyway, I wasn't quite awake or ready to talk about anything, so I just let him do his thing. As long as he got us there. Oh and he was a little bit louder about the rude drivers, too. And this is why I prefer he not be on the pain medication too long. And that he not drink alcohol around me. He's not the guy I know and love when he's like this. He's too much like some TV characters I watch. Nope. ANYWAYS, we got to the doctor's office just fine.

- He forgot his phone in the van, so he wanted me to go back and get it. And I did. I didn't try to argue with him. I knew I might miss part of the appointment. Whatever made him happy. I only missed a couple of minutes. I was still able to see the CAT scan and see where the fracture was. The doctor said that the fracture should heal up just like any other bone would in 6-8 weeks. Because Jared is still young enough, they wouldn't want to put any bonding or cement in it. The brace he's wearing is really just a reminder to him to not move his torso so that the disc can heal properly. He doesn't need to go back for a followup. There's no need for physical therapy. Jared and I talked about it on the way home and he thinks he will start on his back stretches again after the 6-8 weeks, very slowly, just like after his back surgery, and stay on that kind of timeline. I told him to just go with whatever his body is telling him. I didn't tell him this, but I'm convinced that if we just listen more to our bodies and less to the standardized protocols that doctors tell us, we could customize our care better. I've modified my own healthcare in between visits and the various doctors have never been angry with me. For example, I dropped my blood pressure medication last month and I explained it to this new PCP why I was taking it in the first place, why I thought it was appropriate to go ahead and try to drop it now, and when my blood pressure was taken, it was perfect. I wasn't being extreme. I was being careful and listening to my body. I wouldn't suddenly drop my other meds and I even said so. Those ones are way too potent to do that with. I know better than that. Jared's still stuck in the mindset of doing everything exactly the way doctors tell you to. I'm like, nah, if the brace is killing your hip, take it off. And if you think you're hurting your disc if it's off, put the brace back on. It's a give and take. The doctor doesn't live with you. It's ok not to obey 100%. They don't expect you to. My old PCP even said that to me. They are happy if they get their clients to comply 80% of the time. When they ask me why I don't exercise, I explain to them that I gave it a full 6 weeks of intense trying and I just can't. And I know that I can lose weight just by starving myself because that's what Covid did to me. The gains I got after 6 weeks were not worth the soreness and the time and effort I had to put in that took away from my family duties. Anyway, that's where we landed today. 6-8 weeks of healing with the brace on as much as possible. That's it. Praise the Lord!

- We couldn't have wished for a better outcome! And it's all because of prayer! I know that the men prayed over him immediately because Dana told me over the phone. Mike is an elder at Indian Creek, and I'm never going to speak ill of any individual person from Indian Creek. These people are our friends and have been for 20 years. Just because an organization is going a certain direction and I don't want to go that direction, doesn't mean others don't want to go that direction or it's wrong for them. Therefore, I absolutely am not mad at Mike or Dana or anyone else in Jared's prayer group. And I absolutely respect and uphold their prayers and friendship. And I believe, it's because of their immediate prayers, and all the texts and phone calls within those first hours, that helped me keep my mouth shut, that helped me to express myself later, that helped Jared forgive me the next day, that kept us tender to one another, that kept his pain so much less than his sciatica pain, that has helped him sleep, that has helped him go to work all this week for full days, and has now given him this easy diagnosis that will put him back on track within a few months. I can finally relax and be at peace. I didn't need to get so anxious and fearful. I will probably always have to go through those "what if" motions with any crisis. But hopefully God and I will shorten those sessions each and every time until they are nothing but a blip. Someday I'll go "Hey, God? I'm doing it again. What if?" "Child, stop it." "I know, but..." "Child!" "Ok (hangs head)." And I walk away at peace. That's the goal anyway. I'm doing pretty good though. It hasn't even been a week yet. I've gone through all the emotions. Anger. Denial. Grief. Peace. Yup. I've grown. The processing time is growing shorter. Talking it out with Jared is getting easier. We even talked out what the next couple of months of recovery looks like so we can remain close if you know what I mean. You have to stay vigilant and intentional. Hard work. But you can't give up.

- After the appointment, he dropped me off, and then went to get gas for the mower with Keturah. Keturah is still sick as a dog but she needed to get started on mowing the lawn today. The back yard is getting so long. She had a tough time with the mower not starting though. It wasn't terribly hot or humid today. Just about 82 degrees or so. But she refuses to put her hair up, and with her nose clogged, she was miserable. I told her to just get done what she could and do more tomorrow. She had her homework done by noon. Unfortunately, her math was still atrocious. That's unfortunate because that means Algebra 1 is going to be nearly impossible for her. I'm not looking forward to this. We'll have to take it slow. We will get as far in math with her as we get. I hope biology is easier for her. Time will tell. Justin and her got assignments today from Procla!m today, the speech and debate club, via their emails, so we have to quickly get their google calendars set up so we can see them. There's links to articles and research things, and they have to get that done before the 29th. Fun stuff! Unfortunately, I'm the only one with a computer, so they will have to go through me. They can try to go through their phones, but it might be difficult. We've never really used google anything. Eek! 

- Abishai did his math with Daddy today, so I double checked that and then did his reading and Science with him. We actually finished our read aloud book while Daddy had a lie down before dinner tonight. Abishai was excited to finish the small chapter book! I'm so glad I took on read alouds when we were in Canada. I didn't know it was a thing until someone taught me 10 years ago! For both Keturah and Abishai, it's now just a part of their schooling. I never read to Benaiah when he was little. I just didn't know how, really, or that it was super important in helping them learn to read, hearing the syntax and vocabulary and sentence structure vs. listening to us speak in conversation. And then Abishai and Daddy read at night as well. And Keturah and Daddy read the Bible together at night. It's pretty neat! We've become a read aloud family without forcing it! 

- It feels soooo good to have another driver in the house again! After all those anxious posts, Justin is really stepping up to the plate and proving himself. It’s like he’s having a growth spurt. And I’m having my own growth spurt of trusting God with this child. Justin is my easiest child, my peace loving, laid back child. Which is so great in so many ways.

- I was giving Justin coupons last night and he said if he could drive my car he would buy my drink at buggbys bc we both wanted to try it (we had some coupons.) so I agreed. Well, I also needed some things for a picnic on Saturday so when he came home from work today, we agreed that I would pay for the drinks if he would get the shopping done. He said sure! He was super excited to have the freedom. It was sooooo cute! He did a great job too. Biggbys is in the parking lot of Meijer. He even remembered to get mocha and didn't add any dairy, so it's just plain coffee plus chocolate. So sweet!  He had my debit card of course, and he did buy himself an energy drink that wasn’t on the list but I didnt mind. I would have said yes if I was with him.

 

- This is the result of taking our kids with us grocery shopping all these years. They know how to price check. They know what we normally buy. They know if they’ve seen something before. He knew restraint. He said he will get the other new energy drink next time.  I love my Justin boy!

 

 - This evening, Dana dropped off a fun get well gift for Jared. I'm sure she consulted with Jim and the others, but she had no clue that our family would understand all the connections to all the gifts as well as we do. As you'll see in the photos below, we are grateful to have friends that have been diligently praying for us this week and caring for us. It was the perfect gift!

- Man, those August cicadas are extremely loud! We heard them in the morning, too. And all the windows are shut up tightly! 

- Today's new words: Floofified, fluffified, puppified, and even poopified! Socks was leaning on Keturah and left a lot of dog hair so she made up floofiffied. Abishai then turned it into poopified, of course! I told him poopified could only be used when a baby had a blow out diaper. I had to explain to him what that meant. He basically said, "Bring it on!" Um, no, child, just wait until you're the uncle or dad, you won't be saying that then.

Abishai wanted to read more of our read aloud and couldn't wait for Mom, so he just started to read it himself!

I hope I remember that next time a crisis happens!

Awww, I guess Jared really likes reading the Bible with Keturah at night.

That's pretty cool. We used to get a store made or maybe it was a frozen pizza in Canada that was called a hamburger pizza that would included things like hamburger meat and pickles and I think ketchup and mustard or something. We liked it.

I thought it was pretty cool that they mentioned Nehemiah and that's what my Bible study is studying. I can totally understand what that means now.

Well, that's a good thing that R-rated movies aren't as popular. I do like some R-rated films that are typically historically based and are R-rated because of the blood and gore. Things like Braveheart and I think Gladiator might also be R. But if it's rated R because of sex scenes and nudity and swearing just because they can, then no, don't do it. Like the Marvel one with the red and black character. I'm not interested in that stuff. And then of course the archaeological stuff is always cool and only confirms what we already know.

Come on, Lutherans! Can you really call yourselves Christians if you waver on stuff like this? I mean I understand maybe the lay people being confused, but leaders? Don't you know the Bible? I don't understand.

Everly and Nora just sent photos of them eating ice cream in celebration of national ice cream pie day. I'd call it ice cream cake day and get some Dairy Queen cake if they weren't so expensive!

I was brainstorming some ways to hang mugs on the outside of the tea/coffee cupboard and found this on Amazon. If only my stomach could handle that much coffee! Do you get it? Each mug represents how many cups of coffee you've had for the day. Keturah was asking why I put medications in the coffee mugs in the cupboard. Well, I do that because I ran out of room to separate them and I want both types of thigns within my easy reach. So, I'm always on the hunt to make things more efficient and beautiful and it was a very legitimate question, so I thanked for it and started looking for under cabinet mug racks and wall mug racks like Gary and Leah have. The accordion style ones are under $20. I also found some hooks that Jared could just screw to a board and then we could screw that to the cupboard. Either way. The pre made one holds like 11 or 14 mugs. Jared was like, but you can't reach the top ones. No, but it would make a nice display of ones we don't use but I still like. And I could put Justin's favorite ones in the middle, and then ones Keturah uses at the bottom. And I don't usually usually swing pots and pans in that direction so none of the mugs would be hit or anything. It's just empty air space. And then I could just leave the medication in the cupboard. Solution found! I'd rather just buy the thing, but I thought I'd give Jared something to do if he wants. It won't look as pretty though. We'll see.

Bwahahaha

Jared hates peach flavored things but he likes real peaches.

We saw this in the parking garage today, but in black. It's a Ford Mustang, but a 4 door electrical something or other. Jared claims it's an SUV thing. Um, honey, it's a sedan. You're literally high on pain relieving narcotics right now. But whatever. He called it ugly. He doesn't usually forcefully point out cars in the parking lot and say they are ugly. And he doesn't point out cars and say, "I would buy this one if I could and that one if I could." So it was another indicator that he was high on narcotics." Trust me. He might think these things to himself but he doesn't say them to me. Usually it's a BMW or some other luxury car. Not necessarily super sporty, but a pricey luxury brand. I showed this photo to Abisahi and said it's a mustang and he said the same thing, ew, that's not a Mustang. Then Abishai found his Motor Trend magazine and found a photo of a real Mustang. The boy knows his cars!

Here's the photo of Justin's first solo shopping trip for me. I told him to get between 50-60 hot dogs and hot dog buns, a gallon of milk, squeezable mustard and mayo (yes, mayo, because I have a father in law who uses mayo on everything), and of course the coffee from Biggby's. I had texted him a second later about GF brownie mix but he didn't see it. He did very well. I have ingredients at home to make gluten free brownies from scratch so I'll make do. And he wasn't sure about the dairy or maybe they didn't have alternative milk or he didn't know how to ask, so he just got plain iced coffee with mocha. I didn't ask for mocha. He guessed. Good job! He got himself a bagel sandwich and drink from Biggby's and a special new flavor of energy drink at Meijer, which is all something I would have said yes to if I had been with him and he would have asked. He saved me time and energy. Yippee!

Friends dropped off a get well gift this evening.

Oh boy, they know Jared pretty well, don't they?

What they didn't know was that Aaron likes Bob Ross, so we understand the references between Happy Little Trees and Happy Little Accidents and Jared's love for trees and the accident. Of course the Star Wars reference is also hilarious, too. I might be stealing those socks!

Jared will definitely be wearing that shirt as he baby talks to all his little baby trees in our yard.

The note says that Jared is now officially retired from the job of tree trimming. Great friends don't let their friends climb trees anymore. I'm holding them all responsible from now on to be my eyes and ears to keep Jared safely on the ground when I can't be there. Real grown men don't climb trees anymore. Leave it to the professionals. Also, Justin and I have been oogling the bonsai tree for ages! You can keep it this way or use the pink and white dots to make it look like it's flowering. I can't wait for Jared to put it together! Such a sweet, thoughtful, funny gag gift!

Abishai Reading 2nd Grade Week 1

Friday - 

- Made brownie completely from scratch, school, park day, Mom's Night Out

Saturday - 

- I showered and got ready for the IAHE picnic. I had to boil 50 hot dogs, which is something the kids had no clue about. We toast our hot dogs, whereas I grew up with boiled hot dogs. The kids thought it was gross looking. And then I took them to the picnic in a crockpot with the hot, hot dog water and thankfully had it wrapped in a towel and in a cardboard box otherwise I would have had it all over the floor of my car. It was a mess! Thankfully hot dog water doesn't smell that bad. And then it got all over the wagon on the short walk to the shelter as well. Sigh. And then it barely got touched at the picnic. So I guess Abishai had 50 hot dogs to munch on all week. I had to store all the extra hot dog buns in Grandma's freezer. The gluten free brownies also barely got touched. But to be fair, everyone went home with leftovers, which is unusual. The crowd wasn't that big because there were sick families and families with kids in soccer. It was just not as big as last year and I was a bit bummed by that. 

- I sent a message to Keturah, Justin, and Jared about what exactly to finish on the mowing, how to clean to the pool, and what other chores to do like brushing the dog while I was at the IAHE picnic. I did not have them come with me because I did not think Jared was up for the driving and sitting at a park table and I didn't want to hear kids whining about the heat, bugs, and humidity. And the chores needed to be done. It's much easier for me to just go alone at this stage. These kids didn't grow up with the IAHE "family" and Jared just isn't comfortable with this group of people. Thankfully, I wasn't the only one who went alone this time. It also allowed me to stay as long as I wanted to and I could mingle more. I was tired, but I could just listen and enjoy my time away from my family. The weather was pleasant. I did have a few moments of boredom, but I was able to get up and change the scenery quite well. And Eagle Creek Park is an easy and beautiful park to drive to and through. I had an easy drive home despite the Colts vs. Lions preseason game that had just gotten started downtown. And when I got home, the pool was clean, the kids had been fed by a friend who had felt bad about Jared's injury, and the kids were gone to the movie. I was a bit overwhelmed and tired and moody though, so I was about to go off on the little details that had missed. But Jared was able to jump in and diffuse my mood and help me breathe again.

 - I was about to go to bed last night, when Keturah appeared at my window all sleepy eyed without her glasses on. She said, Abishai was in the bathroom and had thrown up. Great. It's a good thing I hadn't gone to bed yet. I had heard some scuffling around, but no one had called for me. So, I went in there and found him done with the whole thing, a little bit on the rug in front of the toilet, most of it in the toilet. I flushed that, cleaned the rug, got him settled down in the bathroom. Then I carefully went into his room with power towels, cleaner, and my phone flashlight on. I turned on the light and had barely put my slippered foot down when I felt my foot slide a bit. Shoot! There was a whole lake of puke across the floor. Thankfully it wasn't on anything else. It didn't take terribly long, but there I was, my lower back hurting from driving, doing the mom thing, cleaning up puke at 2:30am. Justin didn't even move. I had the big room light on and everything. I swear my kids sleep through everything. All 4 of them. I got that cleaned up and checked the bed. Again, thankfully, there was just one spot and it was only on the sheet and not on stuffed animals or blankets. I couldn't get the sheet fully off, so I cleaned up the chunks and then left the paper towels there to mark it so if Abishai went back to bed it would be obvious he couldn't use it. And whoever got up with him would also notice. I then went to the couch to sleep because I wanted to stretch properly and I can't do that when I'm in bed with Jared. If I try to do it for too long, he'll poke me to tell me to stop. It's annoying especially when he spends 10 minutes adjusting himself and all his blankets and ice packs, but whatever. And then I fell asleep on the green couch again. I've been doing that this past week just to give him room and so I can flip to both sides I wanted some space because I was mad. It's been quite a week, obviously.

When your IAHE friends that don't live in Indy want to argue about the forecast for your town, you send them the forecast from your app because you actually live here. It's going to be fine, folks, just come to the picnic already.

Amen to that! 

Oo, tomorrow is National Senior Citizens Day AND Brazilian Blowout Day. I wonder if Gary or Leah needs that? Just kidding, they totally don't! A Brazilian blowout is when a hair stylist blow dries and styles your hair for you and is for longer hair styles. It's great for frizzy hair, curly hair, and straight hair. Totally not for Gary or Leah's hair styles, lol. Great for Justin, Keturah, or I, though. Lol.

 

The movie the kids saw with Grandpa. They didn't realize they would be going back in time to when Gru was young. I guess the movie was set in the 70's. I'm sure it was hilarious! Abishai actually sat through all of it. I was surprised. I had to intervene when Grandpa at first suggested Thor: Love and Thunder. He was basing his suggestions off of the normal ratings and you can't do that anymore. PG-13 of today doesn't mean what it used to 10-15 years ago. It's way worse. Besides, I have no interest in the kids seeing any more Marvel movies in the theater. We need to preview them all first. Really, anything Disney puts out has to be screened by us first.

 

Sunday - 

- PMS grumps. Yesterday was fun and all but today is the emotional let down day. I've got a lot on my mind and Satan's using it to eat away at me. I'm trying to stay away from my family so I don't take it out on them. Some of it is indirectly because of them, but it's still not fair to them because they didn't mean any harm of course. My sins of pride, jealousy, competitiveness, desire for power and to be on top even, are my struggles. I have to be the best of the best. I have to at least close to the winner. I don't know if I ever want to be THE winner because they get a TON of attention. But I want to know that I could have been. And I'm just not fond of loud mouthed people who smoothz the top dogs and don't really earn their place in line with their dedication and hard work. I'm not saying they don't work hard, because I know they do, but their loudness is brash and off putting and overwhelming and makes me feel like I'm over here in a corner working just as hard worried that I'm not being seen as well. And then I'll be overlooked, just like Jared as been overlooked so much in the church and ministry. He doesn't talk about it because he's extremely humble and doesn't realize his own potential. He doesn't dream about the big picture and what God can do with his talents or see what God is doing and jump in or however you want to say it correctly so it fits with the correct theology so it doesn't sound prideful. Yes, I do understand that I do sound prideful. But I actually do have some dreams.

- I do dream that someday I could be on the speaking circuit at least locally for homeschooling. I do dream that I can continually grow with IAHE and not just be a regional rep. I do dream that I could write more for the magazine and maybe someday have other writing opportunities. I don't know if writing a book is in the cards for me because there's SO many great books out there and I don't want to be redundant. But I don't see myself really doing anything else for the rest of my life. Whether it be with IAHE or another organization. I don't have any exact dreams or goals. But I do know I have knowledge and experience. And God uses those things and applies them to the next chapter in your life. He has done that with each of Jared's jobs. And He has used different aspects of my knowledge and experience in every task and position I have ever had from being the treasurer or crafts person or prayer person for my MOPS group to running my home based businesses and learning how to run FB groups and now using those experiences and applying them to what I do for the social media team to now learning how mail chimp works and writing the newsletter every month for Region 9. And all the conversations I have had and putting myself out there as an introvert and learning how to be part of a team and speaking up and speaking my mind and learning how to forgive others and myself. I have a lot of dreams still. I have a lot of life still. God has lots of plans for me. And I will follow those plans. I ask "What if we go this way, God?" And then He directs my steps towards it or not. I know He puts dreams in my head. And He puts opportunities in front of me. It's His Holy Spirit. I never rush into anything because I don't want it to be a humanly idea and be a power trip. It's more like, "You really want little old me to do this? I was really hoping you'd ask me to. Thanks, God. This is really, really special. I will treasure this opportunity. I won't take this for granted."

-Therefore, I get really upset when others squander their opportunities. Or they just assume they will get a certain position because of who they are connected to. Or when others assume we would be shoo in for a position because who we are connected to. We have always cringed whenever others would assume that Jared would join the staff at Indian Creek or they would assume that Jared would be the next director at e2. Um, no. Indian Creek was extremely clear in their bylaws about nepotism. You couldn't even have spouses on staff at the same time. They part has changed to you can have spouses on staff at the same time, but they can't be on the same team. So, maybe the husband is part of the youth ministry and the wife is a secretary for the adult ministry. It's another reason I never led with "I'm Gary Johnson's daughter in law." and instead just let people eventually put two and two together after many, many conversations getting to know me as a person first. And Benaiah as also done this as well. If he's being introduced by someone, they might say the connection, but I don't think I've ever heard him say who his grandfather is. And Jared either. Like last Saturday, the first think out of Mike Spence's mouth to the firefighter (who happened to go to Indian Creek) was that Jared was Gary Johnson's son. Well, Gary Johnson has not been the senior minister for a few years now so that doesn't really work for special treatment anymore, but ok. My point is, we never wanted to come off as wanting privileges and special treatment. We wanted to earn our place for who we are. And because I learned that 20 plus years ago, I just have a hard time accepting and being near people who take advantage of "I'm so and so's daughter." Well, no one actually knows who your parents are anymore, so a) it has zero weight in this crowd b) that's not being a humble servant leader c) it just makes me want to say, ew, please stop, and go away. You need a life. Association doesn't equal competency for the job. 

- And that's sad. I'm learning that I do need to avoid certain people. I'm just not going to get along with everyone perfectly. I don't need to make it a power struggle. I need to have strong relationships with my team leaders. I need to focus on my region, and my work, and make it the best it can be for my people. I have a lot I could be doing better. I've done some great things. But there are some things I really don't do well. And I praise God because it seems like when I fail, something great happens and fills in the gap. And just like at home, as long as I'm getting along with Jared, who cares what anyone else thinks or does. Focus on the people that matter the most. There will always be those difficult people in an organization. I don't want to be a difficult person. I'm an enneagram 6. I'm a loyal, detailed, visionary, who asks the what ifs so we can be prepared, but not anxious. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not just passing through. There's too much work to do. I'm only 3 years in and I'm already one of the ones that have been here the longest because so many of the older reps (by experience) have stepped down. I've got younger reps to train. I do know more of the other people in the organization now. I'm not a newbie. But I've only been here for 3 years officially.

- Being part of any organization is crazy. Dealing with fallen, sinful people, is crazy. Being jealous that my husband gets presents when he does something STUPID and breaks his back and I get  NOTHING for all the hard work I do every day and I'm in just as much pain every single day with no signs or hope of it every going away so there's no point in taking narcotics, is crazy. But I still am. I'm wicked jealous that he got a HUGE Lego set and then his friend got him another car Lego set. Where's my Lego set for cleaning up kid puke at 2:30 this morning when my lower back was about to spasm out? I'm the one who drove all the way to the IAHE picnic and back. And I drove to park day and back, which was 40-50 minutes plus Greenfield on Friday. Plus I was the one who had to sit on a tiny plastic chair for 5 hrs in the ER with the stupid bloke. Where's MY prize? There should have been some kind of massage of bath bomb in there for me. Someone brought dinner for the crew last night but not enough for me or even kosher for me. Do I get dinner when I'm really sick or in level 9 fibromyalgia pain? No, because I don't share that on social media because it's like every single week. And I'm a mom. There was a series of memes or cartoons about that recently showing how certain tasks done by men are applauded but when they are done by women they are either seen as normal or even seen negatively. Like pushing a kid in a stroller and the mom or dad are on their cell phones. For the dad, he's seen as at least he took the kid for a walk, so he's applauded, but the mom is criticized because she's on her cell phone. No one noticed that at least she took the kid for a walk. Or, Dad is playing blocks with his kid so he's applauded, when mom does it, it's nothing. Or when Dad "babysits" his own kid and he's not expected to do anything else, but when mom is home with her kids, she's just having an ordinary day watching the kids AND she's expected to clean, make dinner, pay bills, etc. etc. And yes, this kind of crap is perpetuated in every single TV ad and TV show and movie known to man. I hate it. It does not promote an equal balance. Back in the day, Mom and Dad did have an equal amount of work. Yes, Dad had hunting and planting to do and Mom stayed at home and took care of hearth and home. But they both worked hard. Dad would then take the older boys out to the field and out hunting. Mom would teach the older girls sewing and household tasks. When Dad was closer to home, he was chopping wood or fixing something in the shed or when he was inside near the fire he was fixing a harness, Mom was darning socks. Chores were divided evenly. Not so today. Men are seen as wimps and women are seen as holding down the fort and doing everything and invincible. But guess what? We are NOT invincible. I want MY rewards. I want MY attention. I'm tired and my lower back is killing me and I want one of those narcotics so badly! I just know that I will have a really bad migraine headaches if I take just one. It would not be a good idea. And of course Jared gets to go rest his back with his ice packs so his bone will heal and I don't have any time to stretch and rest and nap if I want to get anything done this afternoon. I had to close the windows on his van because I was the only one who thought about the weather this afternoon. I was the one who brought in the swimwear before it rained. I have to do this and that for 2 hrs after I get home from anywhere before I can sit down. Everybody else gets to go to their rooms and play. And then they wonder why I'm grumpy. Hm, let's see....Anybody think about asking Mom if she needed help so she could sit down faster? No? Well, then you'll be late to your event. And the house will be dirty. And the shirt you need won't be washed. And you'll have to wait for me to correct your math. And you'll have to wait for me to refill your water. Mommy needs rest, too. And if you get tired of pizza for dinner, to bad. You can figure out how to cook. Yup, I'm grumpy. I need to be loved on, too.

I know we spend much more time with our puppy dog than most families do, but I still feel guilty because I don't spend enough time with him. I know I have over the years. I've cleaned up after every accident, I've petted him at all hours of the day, I've fed him the most, I've let him in and out the most, etc. etc. But still, it's never enough for me. If it's up to me, I will be there at the last breathe. Socks is well loved by many people. He hasn't needed much discipline. And I've tried to be as understanding and gentle as I can be. My gentle giant baby who now sleeps all day. I step over him more than I actually bend down to pet him. I'm grateful that the kids greet him and pet him on most of their trips past him and every time they come home. They get down on the floor and snuggle and make sure he gets lots of treats. Like I said, he's had lots of loves for the past 12 1/2 yrs. I will not leave him until he leaves us.

"Come swim with me! Nobody wants to swim. It's just me and the floaties. The floaties and me. The burger, the duckie, the doughnut, the lime, just me and me the little fit, paddling round and round...."

Sister doesn't want to swim. Bad sister. Good sister at least sitting outside so Mom can put things away inside. Then mom can sit outside so paddling can continue for a little bit longer.

At least someone likes the pool. I need to invite some friends over. I've just been terribly busy to plan ahead.

I won this game because I've had an IAHE booth this year! Well, I've had several and they said to submit a photo of one, so I did. I won it by random selection I'm sure. But I won!

Abishai won! His guys were worth more than mine, although I got mine saved first. 27 points to 24 points. It took a bit to get the hang of it. I'm glad we could use any boat and any isle.

- I was almost put in Facebook jail for making a comment about how stupid men are. Yeah, for all the political post and hate speech I spew, this is what I get in trouble for.

Here's the video of why I said that. And I think someone reported me, to be honest. And it could have been the original poster. I accepted the charge. I have been moody all day and didn't need to be snarky online. I should have scrolled on by the post and kept my words to myself.

The End