I left you off yesterday at the brink of tears. My anxiety was getting the better of me and I felt overwhelmed at the amount of things I wanted to have done before surgery just in case something went wrong. Like really wrong. Like I needed to write notes to all my kids and Jared just in case wrong. So I took the last hour of my day (midnight to 1am) and did that and listen to part of "Burn the Ships." We had to get up at 4:45am, so that meant I lacked a ton of sleep before surgery, but that's ok, I think it helped me fall asleep faster in the OR! When I did go to bed, I did weep a little, but was able to finally sleep some. And I'm one of those people that if I have to be somewhere, I use my alarm clock and try to snooze, but can't, because I'm afraid of oversleeping. We ended up being ready very early and Grandma came early as well. She stayed until her haircut appointment at 9, and then came back for a little bit before we came home. She then took Abishai to her house for the afternoon so I could try to rest and the kids could fnish their schoolwork and have electronic time in peace. Abishai ended up having a ton of electronic time over there, so when everybody came home, there was no more screen time for the day. Go out and play!
Ok, back to 5am. The drive was a breeze and as typical of us, we didn't talk much in the car. Jared likes to concentrate on the road and I wanted to collect my thoughts. I did have to guide him to Methodist because he's never been there. Perhaps once for one of my mom's hospital stays. But he wasn't there for when my mom died there in the Yellow Rose Hospice Unit. They have less intervention and machines there to make the room more comforting and better accommodations for the families. So as we parked in the same garage and as we walked down the same hallway that I walked down during the the last couple of days of mother's life, I had to be brave and hold my composure. But once we turned the corner to a certain set of elevators themed the Palm Tree elevators, I was reminded that the last time I was at Methodist was when my Dad had neck surgery I believe. Wait, scratch that. I think it was Mom's brain tumor surgery? Anyway, I remember the outpatient waiting room, the pagers, the overlook to the awesome lobby below, etc. I was ready to make new "happier" memories at Methodist today, 8 and 9 years later than those surgeries. Sidenote: downtown looked great in the cover of darkness!
After getting the pager for Jared, we were immediately taken back to the prep area. It was a very busy place with people getting ready for minimally invasive or majorly invasive surgeries. There was even a lady there who didn't have someone come with her and she didn't speak English very well! Our wait time was 2 hrs in total, but it didn't seem like it. Jared read me news headlines on his phone because he refused to give me my phone from my purse across the room after I had gotten changed and into the bed and was warm. Jared is always a bit chatty with the staff, which helps me because then I don't feel I have to carry on small talk and I can focus on my questions. I was pretty calm and was able to ask all my questions without writing them down beforehand because I've rehearsed them for weeks. The staff were very friendly, too. Well, the anestheologist was a bit hard to understand and I only had one question for here since I figured she was handling the IV most of the time or was it the oxygen mask? Oh, the IV! This "little woman" has "little veins" and the IV nurse only poked me once to try to find one before calling in a small ultrasound set up just for this purpose. The poor staff worker had about 7 of us to do and I barely got mine in before it was time to go back to the OR. And so far, both places seem fine and not bruised, so I'm happy. They said they might put more IVs in while in the OR if it was necessary, but I guess it wasn't because I came out with only the one!
And because of that, Jared didn't get to touch me or kiss me good bye before I was wheeled off. We had held hands while no one else was in the tiny prep room, thankfully. And maybe that's why I was a little panicked as the IV was put in, and I was wheeled just a little bit down the hallway to the OR pretty quickly. I thought that I would have already been asleep before getting into the OR, so I hadn't prepared myself for it. This is where watching too many medical documentaries and drama and YouTube channels can get you into trouble! I was like, "This is it!" And tried to hum the song from For King and Country that says "I give up control." and say a quick prayer. Because the next two minutes went quick! I was able to put myself from the gurney to the operating table and then nurses and doctors started doing everything at once. The anesthesiologist put a strip of something that was like velcro on my forehead to measure my consciousness. Then one nurse or doctor put the oxygen mask on my face while the main doctor I believe held my hand, thank goodness! I did what I was told (because I like to be obedient), and breathed deeply. The noise in the room like voices and beeping machines started to fade, and at first I was nervous because typically when I get ringing in my ears it gets louder, but then the voices started fading and I knew what was happening, so I released my fears, said my prayer and drifted off to sleep. I didn't have time to have a proper anxiety attack or overthink things, thank goodness!
And then it was over. I almost jolted awake but was only disoriented for a minute. I didn't ask how long I had been in recovery, but by looking at the clock, and knowing the procedure was going to take about an hour, it wasn't very long, because it was exactly 1 hr from when I was wheeled back to the OR. Jared wasn't allowed in the first recovery area, but it actually didn't bother me because a nurse was right there talking directly to me and encouraging me. She took off the compression leg devices that are now standard for all procedures (my mom had them, I do know that.) And she offered me something to drink. I opted for water, but remembered I had to be careful because of my sensitive tooth that has been flaring up I think from using a different all natural toothpaste without fluoride. Ouch! I tried to keep my eyes mostly closed as I usually do when I don't have my glasses on as to prevent a headache from eye strain, but at the same time, indicate to the nurse I was fully awake and doing fine. I could have said something, but yes, they do put a tube down your throat during surgery and my throat hurt a bit and I didn't feel like forming words. I'm great at forming words in my head, but my tongue doesn't work so well even on a good day. Yes, they took everything off me except my hairband. I knew not to bring a flexi clip. I did let Jared keep my wedding ring although it didn't matter for this particular procedure. I did wear a hair cover and thought about taking a picture but Jared wouldn't give me my phone and it was when all the doctors were around anyway. I was in pre op 12 and post op (after the first post op room) number 20? They even had me change into the stretchy panties with a pad with no adhesive because I was already having my period this week. (Less for them to deal with I hope! And less for me to deal with afterwards!)
After maybe 10 minutes in the first pre op room, which was just a large room with no private spaces like in pre op, I went to a more private post op room for discharge. In the large room, there was a man I think that came in after I was awake and it sounded like he was very disoriented and/or hard of hearing. I just imagined him having dementia or Alzheimer's or something. I'm sure if I needed it, I could have stayed in either room much longer. But I was fully awake and not in any pain and no nausea. All I needed to was use the restroom, which I desperately needed to do anyway. I almost didn't make it because after laying down for so long, I had the saline water they used to open up my uterus enough to work plus my period built up. And yes, they do empty your bladder with in the OR. I had to ask because I needed the restroom before I went in, but was already hooked up to things in the bed. A quick rundown of prescriptions I was taking home, what the procedure was and basic recovery instructions and we were on our way.
I only spoke to the recovery nurse, and never did see the doctor again, or the OR nurse to ask how it had gone. But Jared told me what he could on the way home. I hadn't thought about telling him what questions to ask for me because I thought I would see the doctor afterwards. But, I won't see her, if I even get her at all, until my 4 week follow up appointment. I hope she remembers my case and I can get scheduled for her! Just like a lot of OB/GYN's, they have surgery days and in clinic days, so it's possible. Dr. Durfee is her name and she was in her late 40's early 50's and a Christian because I heard her and Jared talk about Jared listening to the audio Bible. That right then and there gave me peace. I asked most of my questions of the other attending doctor. Methodist is part of the IU Health hospital system, so it's also a teaching hospital. I do find the standard of care at the IU and Barrington, the clinic we use, to be pretty basic. Get in and get out is good, but I have to make sure I'm ready with questions and advocate for myself. I get less standardized protocols and answers when I see my naturopath of course. They aren't less competent or kind; they just move on quickly to the next thing. At least I get healthcare!
So, this is what the doctor said, "several large polyps were removed, but low bleeding." The first part makes me very, very nervous. They did send any tissue off to pathology just in case it's cancerous, but 99% of the time it isn't. But now I am even more anxious to get answers as to why this happened, did I wait too long, how can I prevent it. They could come back, not as often as other uterine issues, but they can. I am extremely happy with the low amount of bleeding. I was very scared of much blood I would lose because of my heavy blood loss and doctor scare after having Keturah and my nosebleeds. I think having shed some of my uterine lining beforehand played a part in that. Also, that means they only got what they needed to and there were no issues with getting the camera in, or forcing dilation, and nothing was torn. Hopefully that will lesson the pain in recovery. I would have asked the doctor afterwards if they had to force the dilation, exactly how many polyps, how long were they, what did they look like, how did my uterus look overall, and of course when can we resume intimacy. Oh well, hopefully it's in my charts. I was a routine case it sounds like. Get in, and get out.
The post op nurse took me to the main lobby while Jared got the car. It was pretty chilly out, but we managed to wait outside for about 10 minutes. We drove away before 10am! There's a good reason you should be the first surgery of the day, lol. And we had missed morning rush hour, too, yeah! Without asking me, Jared started driving past our normal exits, and down 65 south to the Southport Road exit. Keep in mind, I was in my pjs thinking it would be easier to get straight into bed in case I was in major pain or something after we got home. It didn't take it long for me to conclude he was taking me to breakfast since he hadn't eaten anything and I couldn't eat anything past midnight. And also note that I was afraid to move much because of heavy flow and I was starting to feel a bit nauseous and weak from not eating. I had brought some soft foods and gatorade to the hospital if I need it. As we drove into that very familiar turn lane on Southport Road, I silently hoped that we would be going through the drive thru. My hair wasn't in place anymore and I was in pjs. Nope. Jared parked and I obliged. Thank goodness we didn't see anyone we knew for once! And that's so often the case at our, you guessed, Chick Fil A. It was pretty busy though at 10 am still probably because there were free Chicken Mini biscuits and it's fall break.
At first I doubted that this was a good place for me to be because I didn't know if I'd be able to eat anything off the breakfast menu and I didn't want any of my lunch favorites. I usually eat pretty bland stuff to start my day and try to avoid any of my sensitivities first thing in the morning. But, I was able to find something kosher and it was the sausage egg and cheese bowl with hash browns. I didn't want to pay for a juice and I definitely didn't want to drink coffee and I didn't see if I could get hot tea, so I just went with the bowl. Jared got a breakfast sandwhich, plain coffee, and hash browns. And we got 2 sets of chicken minis for free, so we took those home to the kids. It was the perfect amount of food for me, but I did need to get home soon or something not nice might happen like an accident or wave of nausea. We stopped at the pharmacy to drop off my prescriptions and were home a little after 11. I was able to use the restroom and then putter for a little bit, picking up a few of the misc. things that had been gotten out, and asking a few questions as well as answering some before I went to lie down. I felt mostly fine then, but as the day wore on, I have felt a bit worse as expected.
Jared immediately went back to work because he needed to finish up the pre orders on e2's new book and get them in the mail TODAY. Not a problem since I was feeling fine now and probably wouldn't feel fine later and the rest of the week. I can probably handle the rest of recovery on my own with the kids' help now that I have the right protocols and expectations, but it is easier and more comforting to have extra hands around. Jared never stuck around long after the births of the kids because I had it pretty much handled. I'm sure he would have if I had c-sections or something. Jared did get the mail done and came home around 3, and that was perfect timing. He walked over to Grandma's to pick up Abishai while the kids' finished their screen time and I got myself upright. I had gone into my bed around 12:45 I think but couldn't sleep and wanted to update my socials and play my video games. I drank some hot caffeinated tea and wanted to wait until I needed the restroom again so it wouldn't affect my sleep. Well, I was wide awake. I wrote some questions down for the doctor and started writing down some details about how I was feeling and when I took medications. I did end up taking some zofran, same dosage, leftover from Justin's broken arm surgery, around 2pm because I get very irritable when I'm sick to my stomach. And then over the next four hours, the rest of the pain medication wore off and I finally gave in and took prescription strength ibuprofen at 8pm.
The pain started near my tailbone and has crept up to my belly button now. It's hard to sit and lay down on my back. Basically, think about how you (sorry, only women will understand this), feel after a normal vaginal childbirth. It's the same area and type of pain, but only at 1/8 to 1/4 of the level of pain. And that's what I expected to have. But you kind of forget all the nuances of that pain because you have a baby in your arms. I have also begun to feel more pain in my regular pain areas probably from laying in different beds and being moved while I was under anesthesia. I know that will get worse before it gets better, so I'm holding off on the 4 norco pills they gave me until I can't sleep or something. Other people would say to just take narcotics because they are there and don't be a martyr in your pain. Others avoid them altogether because of their addictiveness. Jared is that way on both accounts. I'm all for narcotics and I've been on tramadol before, which I told them NOT to prescribe because of the reaction with cymbalta last time. But, if you don't take narcotics daily for more than a few days, you'll get rebound or withdrawal headaches. I get one even when I only take one pill. So, I haven't regularly taken narcotics for years because the doctor's won't prescribe them long term and it's not worth the headache afterward. So I don't automatically reach for them. I also waiting on taking the ibuprofen because I wanted to know exactly where the pain would be coming from (not my fibro pain or flaring in other normally painful areas) and how intense that pain was going to be so I could better gauge which medication I needed to use and if it was getting better or worse. But enough was enough, it was time for meds.
I spent the evening trying to get everyone outside and everyone ate various things for dinner at different times. Eventually everyone had exercised and was fed. Jared had picked up my prescriptions on his way home, and bought two green $5 cars for Abishai and Justin because he couldn't pick just one. He let Justin choose first and that made Abishai upset because he wanted the one with the spoiler on the back. Eventually, he asked to "borrow" Justin's car and Justin obliged. Now he thinks he owns both green cars. Oh well. I did lay down again for an hour as I normally do. That's been my routine, lay down for an hour in the afternoon if I'm in a lot of pain or had a busy past few days and then again between 7-8 to relax my back before sitting at my computer for the next 4-5 hrs (don't judge me on my bedtime). I had the kids put away the wood that they gotten out two weeks ago and we made a plan for the rest of the week for mowing, weed eating, and putting away the pool. Tomorrow is a new day and I expect to be in more pain, hopefully no nausea. I hope Jared comes back after teaching his 8 am class. I know the Executive Director doesn't mind if he needs to go back and forth to the office to help me because the new book is done, out, and orders are filled. Jared does need to desperately use some office time to correct papers for the students though. I don't know if I'll be up and running to take Keturah to dance, but I hope to because I know it's hard to find. And now Gary just reminded me that we have Bible class in the morning and I doubt Bible homework was completed because I wrote down that class was Friday in their notebooks. Eeek! I guess I'll leave my computer up with zoom running. It still will shut down, but hopefully I'll have less steps to do to bring it back up.
Life never stops when you have a large family and you're the mom. Even when you try to make it stop. Abishai wasn't terribly upset at me being gone this morning, but he was a little confused. We'll snuggle in the morning. Justin was normal. And Keturah was her moody, and even slightly moody, self today and laying on the snippiness towards me pretty heavily. "If you want the dog fed, why don't you get up and do it yourself?! Hmph!" Because it's YOUR job that I do most of the time because you are still asleep in the morning and because I HAD SURGERY TODAY, daughter! Just because I'm upright, doesn't mean moving is easy. She huffed her way through wood clean up and dog brushing. I pretty much bossed her around, and then ignored the rest. And now she's grounded from screen time tomorrow because of the dog food comment. I didn't blow up at her but that's only because I had very little contact with her today. Tomorrow will be a different story. Hopefully I'll have a clear head and some patience. She and Justin did seem to get a lot of their reading done like I had assigned them. That helps a lot. And I set up them with two days of math, so I can just check that tomorrow. Praise God that we've had to learn how to teach them to be independent for the last 10 years as I've dealt with health and other crisis's. And praise God that I make our schedule and I can determine how flexible it is. And I don't have to worry about Benaiah's schedule as much because he handles it. I have even started to come up with a lecture talking to homeschool parents about how to handle major interruptions during the school year, from health issues, to moving, to family crisis, to new baby. I'd mostly focus on chronic health issues, so that's what I would put in the title, "How to Homeschool with Chronic Illness and Other Life Interruptions." Most of my tricks and tips can be useful for anyone, but homeschooling in the midst of it gives it that extra twist. Anyway, someday I'll share that knowledge.
Wow, this story is very, very long. Perhaps I will just leave it as today's blog and start a new one tomorrow. We'll see. Until next time!
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| My man isn't into the typical romantic stuff. But he tries. And his tries are what makes him special to me. He's an oddball sometimes and I love it. Nothing says "I Love you" like comfort food at CFA. Especially when you get some free food in your order (chicken minis)! |
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| Oh my goodness, was this really 5 years ago?! I guess so! It was 2014, the year we drove from PEI to Indiana because we made our decision to come back too late and I was very nauseous because I was 5 weeks pregnant with Abishai. Worst car ride of my life. 3200 miles round trip! But the Ark Encounter was awesome! |
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| Comfort food in the right amount. |
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| If you can, get your Christmas shopping done early, get some food, and enjoy some fun and games at SCS's Annual Corn-palooza. I won't be there with my stuff to sell because I knew I woldn't be up to it after surgery. Benaiah is working, so I might send Justin and Jared to help with set up because I need to send chili and brownies to school anyway. |
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| Abishai crying and pouting because he didn't get what he wanted. |
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| Green light coming from the glass door as Justin shows off his car from Dad that Abishai wants. |
Wednesday, Recovery Day #2. I woke up fine and felt pretty decent, so I got going on my normal routine. The kids had Bible class, but I had left it set up on my computer ready to go in case I didn't get up until the last minute. It was another gorgeous day outside, so I took a slow walk with Abishai in the wagon to Grandma's house using the short way. I thought to myself, well, after having a baby, it's good to get those muscles moving, even if it's a very short walk, so here I go. We got to Grandma's and then spent about 20 minutes there with me resting and Abishai playing the board game and piggy game on the nook. Then on our way home, Abishai watched his friends Derrick and Zach play football for "4 minutes (Abishai held up his hand to indicate the 4 minutes." So we did that, and by the time I got home, I was dragging. I hadn't had any pain medication yet, so I took some ibrupofen when I got home. The pain wasn't excruiating, but it was just enough to be irritating and I could feel it creeping up my back and down my thighs. Because we aren't doing any one on one heavy subjects this week, I thought maybe, just maybe I could tackle some other sit down projects. Well, by 3 pm, I was done. I needed to lay down and take a little nap, so I did. It helped some, but I just have this feeling of heaviness, like being let down from a caffeine or adrenaline high. I also felt a bit woozy, so I had Leah take Keturah to dance class. I'm sure I could have done it myself, but I know Leah wants to help, so it was easy to say yes. Then I could rest and have time to cook up meat that has been in the fridge for a week. I'm sure my backside thanks me for not being in the car in traffic, although it was only 75 degrees out.
We had a nice dinner and got everything put away by 7 after Keturah came home and ate. Abishai definitely has a head cold, so he's been lethargic and complaining of his throat hurting. My throat hurts a lot, partly from being intubated and I think I just might come down with the head cold, too. I'm do for one. I always get a cold in the fall and in the spring and then I'm usually good for the rest of the year. Only time well tell which one it is, but I don't want to talk much because of it. Abishai played Minecraft with Daddy for awhile. Ava and Benaiah are here for a bit after they went to get Benaiah a haircut. I might have put too many spices in the bacon explosion because my stomach is pretty upset now. I might call it an early night, we'll see. That's about it. School and chores got done. The pool is half emptied, although they poured water on the ground around the pool when I had asked them to pour it out by the back fence so we wouldn't have a mud pit. Keturah rode bikes for a few minutes with some girls down the street that I had seen about a month ago, so potentially new playmates? I hope so! She did come back from dance class in a good mood after being snotty with Grandpa this morning. And that's about it.
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| Abishai's dolphin was his constant companion today. He rode in the wagon with Abishai and had a turn on the rocking horse. |
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| Then dolphin watched us play the board game and watched Abishai play the piggy game on the Nook. |
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| Well, I came home to find this! Yeah! Glad she had some alone time outside in the sunshine doing her homework. |
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| Abishai spent his screen time today on the "cold" pillow and under his blanket. He's feeling pretty sick and lethargic today. But a little Minecraft building with Daddy helps. He kept killing the animals though and wouldn't let anyone in his treehouse. He also made a grass rug in his treehouse like his Paw Patrol play rug and said that his cars were on it. He still thinks a lot even when he isn't feeling well. |
Why do I always end up overdoing it? I was doing great, although I was a little uncomfortable getting out of bed this morning. And I was determined to use my time wisely today and tackle a non school project since I didn't have teaching time today. Well, I accomplished that task, but now I'm in a lot of pain. Sigh. It makes me want to cry. So many projects, so little physical ability to do them, and I just seem to get weaker and weaker. I'm hoping to rest tomorrow while it rains all day. I'm just bored, too, at home. Time to have things to do again! But then I have to have energy to do them. So, I'm homebound and the kids are homebound and and and....
I worked on the computer a bit this morning and then finally went through some of the craft supplies in Keturah's room. There is one more part of the craft supplies I have to go through and accomdate or throw away, but at least we can find certain things again. But first, I had to unearth our craft drawers from underneath Keturah's bed. She had two small trash can loads of trash, literally candy wrappers and varies scraps of paper, strewn in just two corners of her room. And then she had 1/3 of a load of laundry worth of clothing. How?! How does one eat a piece of candy and just throw it down off your bed and let it just land anywhere? When there is a trash can right there?! But then again, Jared is notorious for leaving his snotty kleenixes all over the floor of his car. I don't mind clutter, but I do mind trash, dirty clothes, food items, etc. Anything that would stink, cause mold, attract rodents or bugs is not acceptable. If it's just something that collects dust, then fine, I'll leave it alone. Anyway, what's done is done. And I'm now utterly exhausted.
The kids could have been outside more today, but I didn't push it. Instead, once I hit my energy wall. I just let them have twice their normal amount of screen time. Abishai played video games and watched TV with Daddy and Keturah took advantage of the situation and watched almost 4 hrs of her TV show. Seriously? She knows better and I'll be waking her up early to check her homework before she goes off with Grandma to a movie. And now Justin is on the phone with Elliot playing a video game. It's after 9pm. We have a cut off time of 9pm. Why is it that when Mom is tired and can't chase after them, they take advantage? I'm hurting and I'm grouchy, can't you tell? And now Jared turned the house fan on when I'm freezing and have my heater on. Not nice. I guess I'll be turning that off as soon as I get up. It's already only 70 degrees in here. It doesn't need to be 65. I set the thermostat at 74 in the winter. And the temperatures aren't going to be above 75 outside anymore. Enough is enough. I'm done.
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| Abishai has been playing a lot of army men the past couple of days. He wanted me to watch him play. |
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| He's setting up the army men behind parked cars like in a video game. |
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| Hey, who said you could sit on the table? |
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| Just one part of the mess that was behind Keturah's bean bag in her room. How does this happen? |
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| I'm glad Ava gets time with Benaiah because I barely see him. Oh, and he got a haircut. |
The End
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