The J6 Journey: Year 6, January 25th-28th, 2020:

"Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the fire's so delightful...." Ok, we didn't have a fire in the fireplace because Jared hasn't chopped any wood, but boy the weather was awful! From snow to sleet to freezing rain to rain as the temperatures finally got above freezing later in the afternoon. However, when I was supposed to go out today around 1pm, it was still very treacherous according to lots of reports so I decided to reschedule my dental cleaning, again. Blech. I didn't want to sit in traffic going at a crawl. I wanted to do our read alouds instead because we have to go out again tomorrow. And we have another brief online appointment on Wednesday. And no one likes doing school on Saturday. It's tougher when you have older kids to take a day off, especially when you are teaching the content. I would have to skip or do it a different day. So, yup, that's what I choose today. We stayed home, cozy, and got our work done. Jared of course went to work, and I think Benaiah also had a day shift, but I didn't hear any reports of them slipping, so they must have done alright. Leah had gone out to do some bloodwork (she is technically at 14 days quarantined) and said it was a bit slippery but not bad. I had Keturah and Abishai walk down the driveway and see if our road was slippery and they said it was slushy. If my appointment was 5-10 minutes away on ok roads I might have gone, but not all the way down to Greenwood, 25 minutes away with hills and curves. I'm a wimp. I choose to be. I can reschedule. We don't have continuously bad weather like other places so we can afford to delay a day or two. But I'm now back on the waiting list. Oh well. I'll be fine. Keturah said her tooth isn't hurting anymore. I have a suspicion it was one of her 12 yr old molars erupting. She said it's shorter than the others. And I remember when my wisdom teeth were erupting in 2013 while we were in Florida. And then they hurt again a couple of years ago. And I finally got them pulled last year. So sometimes that pain from the eruptions comes and goes. I didn't bother try to look in her mouth because ew, gross, and I don't know what to really look for. We'll let it slide for now. And if she's having an issue, we can always call the dentist.

I did wake up in a bad mood, too, so I didn't get around to doing any phone calls. Keturah and Abishai were at each other all day fighting, so I was worn out mentally. Read aloud time was ok. I kind of rushed through it. Abishai finished his homework fairly quickly which was helpful, and so did Keturah, although she didn't do that well on hers. Justin did ok, but his also could have been better. They are racing through their reading books, so I need them to slow down and write some things down. Quality not quantity.

Dinner was chicken via the instant pot, rice, and a mixture of veggies pulling in the last bits of last week's veggie box and some odds and ends, fired with olive oil. I put clove and ginger with thyme, oregano and basil oils with the chicken for a different flavor and to make it more "Asian." The veggie mixture tasted quite different than when I had roasted similar vegetables and I also used soy sauce. I'm pretty proud of myself for using up nearly every vegetable in that box, including the new kinds. We get another box tomorrow. That's the goal, to eat as many of the vegetables we can every week plus a smaller amount from Aldis of our usual. Really, it's me that needs to eat more veggies, so by having the impotence of a weekly box coming every week, and not wanting to waste my money, it will help. I like that I can change the box every week as well depending on what I have and what we decide we don't like. And if it's too much, I can go down to a smaller box. So, we'll see. My calorie counts are a bit higher than I thought. And my weight is staying the same. So, I have to work on being ok with feeling "hungry" and eating smaller portions at dinner. I was hungry before dinner so I kind of overdid it. And I was bored last night, so I nibbled on chocolate and nuts. That's where the extra calories sneak in. It's not my daytime habits, it's the night time ones. I go see the gynecologist next week, so I'll bring it up then.

To end the night, the kids and I played Mexican Train dominoes and after some initial fighting, we stuck it out and played it through. Abishai actually won! He understood most of the rules after the first couple of turns. Because it's a Mexican Train version, there's just some subtle other rules that the older ones and I wanted to use. We can tweak the rules however we want to though. But I also thought this game would help Abishai with recognizing numbers and it sure does. He's decent at it already, but more practice doesn't hurt. He and I are nearly done with his Primer book, so we'll move on to the Alpha math book. Then we'll just stop at the end of our school year wherever we are in Alpha and pick it back up in the fall. He's not ahead or behind. He's just right where he should be. And he read very well today, too. He was sing songing some of the special sounds on the Abeka phonics charts and said he wanted to memorize them, so I'll introduce more tomorrow. I forgot to do that today.

All is quiet again. My favorite time of the day, besides reading aloud. Ah.....now, if just someone would do the cleaning and cooking....and if someone else would appreciate the maid and cook, life would be grand. Jared and I had a row over that today. Ok, I was the one upset about it. I had reorganized the bathroom closet and he got mad because he couldn't find the hydrogen peroxide in a hurry because he nicked himself shaving. So he yelled at me instead of being happy about the neatness of the closet. Grrrr.....I made a chart today for myself and put it on the inside part of the door so I could remember how I organized things since the layout is slightly different, especially on two of the shelves, then I had it for the last almost 4 years. And he can reference it, too. No more fumbling for stuff. He also go mad that we have 3 bottles of Pepto Bismal. Well, it's one of those things where I didn't know we had it, so I bought extra and it was on sale, so,.....that's why you keep your cupboards organized. I thought I was being a help. He thought it was a hindrance. Fight me. That's how it goes I guess.

And that's it. I think I'll read a little bit more tonight since I didn't do a lot of that today. And then I'll torture myself with another weird movie because I "can't find anything good on TV." Last night's movie was very, very odd and I'm not going to explain it because well, the nuances were not very appropriate at times. But in the spirit of learning how the world works outside of my Christian bubble and to know what everybody else thinks is ok, I made it through. It was weird. It was also from 1995. It had Rufus Seamus in it, as that's what I saved on my "to watch" list. I have other things on the list, too, but I don't always want a feel good movie. I might have to start watching some of the TV shows I did like again. There's some I could rewatch. Victoria for one, since we just started on her story in our history lessons, or Poldark. I don't think I could get through any of the DC Comic book ones. There's too many to keep up with. Oh, and then I started one on Dickensian, i.e. the world of Dickens including all his main characters in the same world. I don't know any of the stories except for A Christmas Carol, so maybe I should try one of those Great Expectations DVD's from the library that I have. Hm,....anyway, I'm off!

P.S. I did do my first official round of weekly backups and all went well, I think. I didn't actually open up the external drive again though. And I did make sure all the photos and videos were fully downloaded before I did that. I guess there's some new settings where photos are temporarily on my device and then when I load them to snapfish, they have to finish fully downloading to the device first. Kind of interesting. At least there's a symbol with the file name to tell me what's what. And now I have to go check where some other files got downloaded to for IAHE Capital Day and make sure I got them all. Onward.

Running around in circles because his sister encouraged him to.

Abishai's the blue train. Justin is the green train. I'm the red train. Keturah is the white train.

And Abishai won!

While we played dominoes, Daddy made these creations! We also totally cleaned up Abishai's fort today and the front room feels so much bigger and nicer again! Woot! Woot! There was a lot of crumbs in that area, too, which is not good because it would have attracted mice. I'm glad we got it cleaned up. He made a different fort in the fireside room but since it's not in a major walkway, I can work around it better. Just as long as I can get to my napping couch! Which, btw, used to be my napping couch at Gary and Leah's in their front room! The dark forest green that was popular in the 90's with wood trim. I love it though!

Interesting Tuesday. Let's see. Abishai school. Again he got through it pretty quickly, including the reading. He even wanted to spell "Dad" for his little dictation thing on his language arts paper. And he didn't mind going through the flash cards. I think when I told him that we needed to pick up the pace and it was his fault that he is "behind" on the reading lessons, somehow it clicked that he needs to "catch up." Maybe not. Maybe I read too much into situations. In any case, easy peasy today. Then I got a shower and thankfully, my hair was completely dry before we left the house today. I don't like washing my hair and then going out when it's wet, especially if the weather is cold. Then it was lunch and because I knew I had a phone appointment at 2, we didn't do any read alouds. That left everybody in the lurch because the other two got done pretty quickly, too. We did managed to slip in the piano lessons today, yeah! My phone appointment at 2 was with the psychiatrist and we were done in 5 minutes. He suggested and I confirmed going up on the dose of the new medication just to see how it goes. He's not very thorough in asking questions, that's why I don't like him. But, I think I'm actually doing better being on this medication so we'll stick with this for now until I get in with someone else. And THAT is proving very difficult and slow. Gary said he would have Leah talk to our old doctor when she was in there today for a sinus infection. I don't know what happened after that, but we are having dinner with them tomorrow night because Gary is off again somewhere on Sunday. It will be the first time we see Benaiah and Gary and Leah since January 2nd. Yes, that long. Crazy how you can live 100 yards apart but because of sickness and schedules and surgery, it's been 25 days since we've had physical contact.

After my phone appointment, we had haircuts for the boys, but the hair stylist was running behind so it got pushed by 30 minutes. That left us at home for extra time. I had Keturah and Abishai watch a short animated DVD on Florence Nightingale. Then it was off to haircuts. Home again only to have the kids have a shorter time on electronics and then I decided to make a full dinner instead of just the pizza in the garage fridge. That's because our 2nd Misfits vegetable and fruit box arrived today. I weighed the box with and without the produce in it, and we got a little under 25 lbs of organic produce for under $40 delivered!! I think that's awesome! We got beets, carrots, potatoes, sweet potatoes, a HUGE cabbage, grape tomatoes, cucumbers, green peppers, avocados, apples, pears, and grapefruit (typically 1-3 of each kind or 1lb or something like that). So, I just HAD to make a roasted root vegetable medley with the carrots, (older) potatoes and sweet potatoes, and the rutabagas from last week. Olive oil, salt, dried parsley and dried basil. Oh my word, yum! And well, the kids at least tried it. Some of it wasn't quite cooked through, but that's ok. And I did have some thick pork steak that had stayed fresh/thawed in the garage fridge, so I baked that as I normally do. Yum! This is exactly why I went ahead and did this. Aldi doesn't carry these things and I guess I've been craving them since it's winter. I got used to eating parsnips, too, which were popular on PEI. You'd cook parsnips and carrots together, the orange AND purple carrots. I'm just so tired of other veggies I guess. Keturah ate the mixture I made last night for lunch today with last week's produce. I still can't seem to stay under 1,500 calories a day though. I'm tracking my calories (knowing it's no the only thing you should track) and I'm hungry. Sigh. I can't wait for my gynecologist appointment next Tuesday. Sweet! I just realized it's only 1 week away! Wahoo!

After dinner, Jared went to Bible study (I think I'll rejoin the women tomorrow night), and we watched another educational DVD on the 7 wonders of Brazil which happened to be all related to the convergence of the religions there. It's mostly a mixture of Catholic practices with other practices, like African, indigenous tribes, and Pentecoastal. It was a well done documentary with a very unique and excited host who had African, Jamaican, and British roots. He had a British accent and was African American in color. The DVD was produced by PBS. I'm finding that I'm really enjoying PBS and BBC a lot. PBS seems to be fairly accurate history and even keeled in their views. BBC is very, very um, progressive like their country is, but they put storylines together that are quite different than our Hollywood. And the acting is superb in my humble opinion. All of their actors don't seem to have the glitz and glamour like our actors do. Or maybe I just like British accents. Who knows. I'm enjoying it, that's for sure.

Now I've got to finish up so I can go take care of some emails I've neglected all day. See ya!

Especially when the kitchen is in the exact middle of the house so you have to pass through it to get anywhere else!

I guess little guy just needed some space. So he put on his snowpants, coat, winter boats and gloves and went outside. It was a bit drizzly and of course 35 degrees or so, but he seemed to be enjoying himself for about 15 minutes or so, batting this tire swing around while Justin and I corrected his homework. Abishai's gloves were soaking wet, but at least he was dry. This is what I know some families do. Their kids get used to just bundling up and going out to play in all kinds of temps and weather. I'm thinking of one particular family of boys on PEI who are 2nd generation homeschoolers with no TV in their house. They strictly use the Charlotte Mason method, too. Very quiet family, but I loved spending time with them. I'm glad he got outside today. I also looked up the karate class for him and it's an introductory class, $10 per 45 minutes and you simply sign up on a FB page. Pretty low key. I know the twins, Nate and Donovan, have been going for years. Abishai would actually be in the older class once he turns 6, and he said he wants to do it after he turns 6, so we'll start then. The twins will be moving up to that class when they turn 6 in March. It's on Friday nights, a night we usually don't have anything, so I'm thinking that Daddy can take him once we establish a pattern. There's no pressure to be in a formal class to go for karate belts and all that either. And it's in our old home town of Beech Grove. I can handle this I think.

Abishai knows exactly where the toys are at the salon and got them out himself. He also picked them up after his haircut without being told. Sweet! He talked alot with Jennae, too. He enjoyed tapping his cape from underneath to make his cut hair fly off. Too funny!

This is why I got this card! We have prime, so 5% of Amazon purchases go to points. Yes, I buy a lot on Amazon. But I also earned the biggest chunk of points from putting car insurance, property taxes, all my Young Living and Monat purchases, my phone purchase, all the big stuff on the card. Then I turn around the next minute and pay it off. That's how you should do it. Well, I know I got myself into trouble in the fall and right before Christmas and had a pretty high balance on the credit card. So, as soon as we got the money back we loaned to someone (he paid some interest on it), I paid the Amazon card off. I've used my debit card more lately on the every day purchases so I don't rack up the Amazon card again. Well, now that I know that Amazon gives 5% back on their purchases, I think I'll at least do those purchases again on that card. And groceries. I'm just not good at saving money, I'm the spender. But I "earned" over $300! That's more than I make on a lot of other side hustles I've had. Sweet! Gary's done banking this way for years with an air miles card. He has earned free plane tickets and upgrades. So, there are ways to take advantages of these cards. BTW, both my Old Navy and Kohl's charge cards are also empty right now. Woot! Woot! We won't talk about the every increasing medical bills. I guess we could put them on the Amazon card and then use the HSA to pay it off but there's several other steps involved so I don't want to do that. We'll pay it off when we pay it off. Jared thinks he needs to see a spine specialist friend of ours because he's in a lot of pain so we'll see how that goes. Sigh.

This kid never stops moving, even while he's playing video games. And check out how fast those little fingers fly on the controller!

This was my FB status for this:

Oh the wondrous life of a homeschooler....one night you’re listening to the audio version of The Communist Manifesto (we just studied Karl Marx), the next night you are watching a recent BBC adaptation of Charles Dickens’ Great Expectations and then tonight you get to watch a 60 minute documentary about the convergence of religion in Brazil between Catholicism, indigenous peoples, Pentecostal, and African. What a trip! I love it!!! As Charlotte Mason, one of the great leaders in education in the early 1900’s said, “Spread the feast!” (At least that’s what CM’s followers say.) oh and I just finished an audiobook on Harry Selfridge, the pioneer in modern upscale retailing. So much fun! I love learning! (Oh wait, isn’t this homeschooling thing for the kids? It is but you get a world class education, too!) So satisfying!

Well, what a busy day! Only because I had a lot going on. Justin woke up with a headache, ate some ravioli, and within 30 minutes threw up. He then rested awhile, got some homework done, and was able to eat some more food about 3pm and do his two hours on electronics. We left him home when we had dinner with Gary and Leah and he fell asleep! He says his headache is still there, but much better. No fever. So, we watch him carefully and we'll call for a Covid test if he shows signs tomorrow. I know the symptoms can be gone all day and reappear at night, so we'll see. We don't have anywhere specific to go until Sunday. And I did look up test slots at CVS and there were some even for today, so I think we'll be fine getting it done if necessary. Nobody in his small group is sick, so that's promising. He does tend to throw up with a migraine or bad headache, so no surprise there.

I was doing the usual morning routine things and Abishai was demanding to eat a ton this morning so I was helping him with that. He didn't eat much for dinner last night because he didn't like the root vegetable medley I made last night. And of course the usual bickering was going on. I had a load of laundry to put away and the dog food bucket needed to be refilled ( the big one). Then, I was texting Gary, Leah, and Jared about Justin and such, too. And I was answering messages about stuff I put on the free stuff FB group (this is why I waited until the rest of life had calmed down a bit). And i was trying to get my own breakfast. Jared was also texting me about financial stuff and in the meantime, I broke up a raw egg thinking it was a hard boiled egg because he had put the raw eggs on top of the hard boiled after cooking eggy toast for Abishai this morning. And instead of saying "thank for making Abishai's breakfast, but...." I outright told me not to do it again. Yes, I could have looked at the box for HB which I always put on the carton (I make a dozen hard boiled eggs at a time and put them back in the same carton and label it, and he knows that), but I was also looking at texts figuring that the egg cartons were in the same order I had left them in yesterday afternoon.

By then it was 11am, so I tried to do school with Abishai. Well, Abishai needed more snacks and wanted me to read him two longer books and he wanted to play around instead of doing his work, so, an hour later and we were still not done. But I had to stop and eat lunch before Justin's online appointment with his PCP at 1pm. BTW, I'm loving the telehealth appointments for this simple follow ups! We really don't need a weight or BP reading every month. It saves me mental energy to do it from home, plus driving time and getting ready to go out, and all that. I got Justin up long enough to show his face on camera for a minute and told his doctor he wasn't feeling good. The doctor started in on his usual spiel like any doctor would but stopped mid sentence remembering, "Oh yeah, you've got lots of kids, you know how this works." That's why I like our two PCP's at this clinic, they trust me. And then I talked with him about what to do next about getting some paperwork done for Justin's ADD accommodations. He didn't know because usually that's done through the school system, but he'd check with Behavioral Health upstairs. Ugh, not them! And then he suggested the school district and I was internally groaning, too, because our school district is notorious for not working with homeschoolers. But hey, I know some homeschoolers with issues, maybe I'll ask them. Who knows. But I did call our other doctor friend who is in the network that the psychiatrist's office is in and he said, no, he couldn't just see us for a couple of visits and then make a referral, although we were patients 10 years ago. The power of Gary making the phone call directly to the doctor instead of me calling the front office might have gotten a better answer. I don't think I said our names. Gary said he'd check with someone else he might know. But, I was feeling extremely frustrated this afternoon at this whole process. The whole, "We need a referral but it has to be within our network" thing or "You must do therapy with us before you are referred to psychiatry" or "We don't do that, here's the number to call" and then those offices are saying these other things. Ugh! Round and round I go with no help and more phone calls to make. So, I'm stuck, again.

And it's not just one issue. I need a psychologist within a network that is covered by insurance because between all of Jared's stuff and my own stuff, we don't have money for $120 an hour mental health help and I'm getting desperate for some real in person help. My current counselor, bless her heart, doesn't have the right credentials and training. And I know her office doesn't take insurance so I can't go see someone else within that practice. I also had another meltdown over my weight because between my brand new pj pants fighting too tight around my thighs and my new jeans that I bought and fit fine a month ago, I'm feeling even more overweight (the scale says it, too), despite counting calories every day and being hungry (and real calories, not empty calories). And I've got no one to talk to about it. Thankfully, I go to the gynecologist on Monday. Hopefully, she'll say something different that will click, instead of "Hm, I don't know. Tough luck I guess." So, I've lost my faith in even the medical system right now.

Then we had dinner with Gary and Leah and Benaiah. It's been 25 days since we've seen them. Crazy! I didn't hold back and ate what I normally would binge on on a Sunday afternoon. Sundays were always my "cheat" days, where I didn't count calories. So, maybe I just won't add up today's calories. I don't want to know. I've done it this way for years and years and it's not what is making me fat. I think it's my medication, both the cymbalta and the stratera, the two newest ones in the last couple of years. But I need those medications or I need some intense counseling. So, again, I'm stuck. And Jared is in pain. And I'm tired because of late nights trying to forget my sorrows. It's all a vicious cycle. Sigh.

Dinner was good, see the pics below. I cringed when Gary said ADD is not a mental illness. Um, yes, it is. We were talking about Justin working at CFA and how Benaiah, I, and Justin are all in agreement that it would not be a good fit. It's too fast paced and too meticulous. Benaiah even said the he knows some of the people he works with has ADD and while they certainly try, it's not the best fit. But yes, my job as a parent is not to set my kid up for failure, so while you encourage them in their dreams, even if they go against what you think they can do, you can also help them think through those things of how a mental illness like ADD will affect their job prospects. Was Gary not listening when I was explaining that a 504 plan goes with the child into their adulthood and into their workplace, protecting them? Ok, I didn't explain it quite that way, but yes, under the disabilities act the doctor said, the 504 plan helps the employee not be discriminated against based on their mental illness/ability/inability. ADD is for life. Leah said, yes we know, then why are you aren't listening to us that we can see that somewhere like CFA isn't a good fit? Sigh. Why would we be going to psychiatrist for medication if it wasn't a mental illness? And it's not going to get better. Better managed, but it is what it is. Your brain doesn't function like most people's brians. It's ok, and it can be well managed, and you can prosper well. Besides, Justin is introverted. I was intimated by working at Quizno's, never mind a place like CFA.

Anyway, that's done and over with for now. Church didn't come up much. Benaiah dominated the conversation as usual at the table telling about his life, but wouldn't tell me anything when I asked him myself. I asked him about his dental appointment and he only said, "It's not your business." But when Grandpa asked him, he answered. Or even when I asked him at the table, he answered. But he wouldn't talk to me privately. Super frustrating there, too. I tried to ask the other kids to "show off" about what they've been learning or can do, and they would say one sentence and then the topic would quickly change. It's just how it's always gone and it's how it always will be.

Jared had his first acupuncture treatment today and he said more at the table with his parents than he probably would have told me at home if I had asked. I guess I'm not one people want to converse with. Sigh. And this is why I need a better counselor to ask why, why don't people like me or want a relationship with me? How do I fix me? How do I become attractive again? I'm just so mentally at a loss right now. Maybe some sleep will help. And not going out or having another appointment until Sunday will also help. Holding on until then.

Justin didn't go to small group and I didn't go to Bible study because of Justin's unknown illness, so there's that. It did start snowing and I'm thawing out from not wearing a second pair of socks or a coat. Abishai didn't want to change his clothes because then he had to wait for his body heat to warm them up. Drama King. And then he played all shy when we got to Grandma and Grandpa's since we hadn't seen them in 3 weeks. Thankfully he let go of me after a few minutes of clinginess. And he was excited to see Ava when she came after dinner after she was done working at the daycare she works at now. We did get to see Benaiah's new desk and monitor set up. I wish I could spend money without thinking how I should be spending it on these other things. Sigh. I'm glad he's happy I guess. Another step into adulthood. Providing for himself. That's a big deal. Go for it.

And now bedtime.

As I've always said, I go to cafe's so I can get my dessert coffee, knowing I'm consuming loads of sugar and I enjoy every sip. At home, it's regular coffee and usually a lightly or unsweetened creamer. That's it. Not as good, but it's consumed for a purpose, focus.

Baby Grogu is making his rounds around the hosue again. He hung out with me while I drank my morning tea this morning.

I'm guilty of grasping for blessings, that's for sure. A plus B doesn't equal C.

When you homeschool, you can do your language arts paper under an umbrella (the light was too bright he said) and under a warm blankie in your pjs! Actually, I took this photo because he was attmempting to do his paper all on his own today. He got one small section done, so that's a win! I usually fill in the bubbles for him, but I always give him the option to do it himself. Filling in bubbles for the right answer isn't the point of the lesson. Yes, I know it can help his writing skills, but I'm not worried about those either at this point. Knowing what I know now that a lot of kids can't write for themselves because of developmental things (which he doesn't have), I just don't feel the need to get that part accomplished by a certain age like others do, including family members. Are we improving every day? Absolutley! Is his handwriting like the average 2 or 3 yr old? Yup! And that's ONLY because we haven't practiced. So why worry? We'll practice when we practice. If he can't sit still to save his life, why force it at this age? Did I get angry later on when when time was getting short? Yup. I had to get up and walk away and tell him, because he delayed by whining, he would have to wait for me to be done with lunch and a phone appointment before I could get back to him to finish. And no screen time until he was finished. So, he ran off to play, I got my stuff done, we came back, and he finished, in plenty of time before screen time. No worries. No fights.

Look at the cool tray Leah made! She saw it somewhere online and wanted to recreated it! I love it! I didn't realize it until we were eating it that the blueberries were for the sky and the lights were for the moon and stars and look, even the chips make the hat! And green peppers for arms! So cute!

Benaiah finally has his work station the way he wants it! They had to put the other table away in the attic, which, I'm grateful for because I don't want it worn out. Someday I'll find a way to inherit it and use it. It's got a lot of special meaning to me and the family because it was hand painted for them and served as the family breakfast table before the island was built. But now Benaiah has his desk, his monitor holders, his headphone stand, and even a "junk" box for random papers. He bought most of it himself, too. And it's tucked away behind the door a bit, so it's not the first thing a guest of Gary and Leah's see. I'm pretty impressed! The rest of the room looks good, too.

Like father, like son? Sort of. The toy collection for sure. At least Benaiah has a gorgeous photo of his girl on his desk, though!

Gifts from his favorite employer! The mug is a cow print with a B on it. This is such a neat little fridge! I'm glad Gary and Leah found a way for Benaiah to use it and it doesn't look out of place.

Perfect! He didn't need it of course, but I'm sure it's something he could use in a dorm or bachelor pad or wherever.

Making chocolate milk with Grandma. (Pssssttttt, she decided to let herself finally go grey, yeah! Thanks Covid-19!)

I had just told the kids yesterday and I think today, too, that I don't buy ice cream and popsicles in the winter. What's the point? I'm already cold! And we didn't when I was growing up either. It was Ovaltine in the winter and oatmeal and chili. Not many salads either in the winter. In the summer we had some popsicles sometimes, or made them, and had more coleslaw (served with hot dogs) and regular garden salad. But of course, at Grandpa's house, there's always ice cream for dessert!

At least Abishai got some sibling wrestle time today, although Justin felt puny.

I knew I would hit the wall today, so I took a nap/rest after read aloud. I just don't know what to do about the doctor thing and I barely kept my eyes open for read aloud time. Keturah was snippy, Justin had to wait for her to do her science experiments (after I convinced him to help her with one), and Abishai had a major meltdown over writing "x's." It was that kind of day. When Jared went to stand up this morning, something in his back "popped" and he nearly fell off. I still think his muscles are retraining themselves after losing so much weight, or maybe the nerve shifted, but he's going to hopefully go see the spine specialist friend soon. I just don't know how to help him. And between me crying over my weight and having to wait to see people to help me with medication and hormones, and him being in a ton of pain, well, our relationship has suffered. I think we both are trying to bite our tongues so we don't hurt each other but then we don't say anything at all. I worry every day all day about the "toxicity" in our home. I even asked Abishai after he used a high pitch whine, "Do I sound like that?" in a curious voice because I want to know what I'm saying to produce such a negative environment. But I bet it's also the way I stand or interact in general or hide in the bathroom or on my phone. I'm well aware of the issues, and I'm trying, but I need help, so much help. And we are going to go bankrupt with all these medical expenses.So that's on my mind, too. Although taxes are coming up and I could always just pay stuff off and pay us back out of HSA money. I just prefer to pay medical expenses from the HSA directly, less paperwork and obvious paper trail. I told myself I wouldn't touch the paperwork until February, well, that's next Monday. And I have two weeks to clean ourselves up before Abishai's birthday party. You know, put away more of the everyday clutter, do a deep clean, pick up ingredients for the cake and yummies, make the cake, and not exhaust myself in the meantime. So, it's time to set up some new calendars and visually see what the next few months look like.

Supper was leftovers. It was sunny and dry today, but the mud still came in a bit. I had to thoroughly clean the dog's dishes and stand because they had gotten so disgusting! I don't know how so much dirt gets on the legs of the stand! I think he turns his head a bit and drools while he's chewing and it slides down. But ewwwwww. I'm glad his dogsitters bought the stand for him. They have a larger dog as well so they thought it would be helpful in his old age. It's easy to clean, but it's awkward. And as soon as Abishai settles into reading time with Daddy, I'll do another round of steam mopping the floor, because ew!!! This is what drives me crazy about Indiana. The freezing and thawing of the ground only produces mud. I didn't mind all the snow coming in in Canada because it was mainly just water and we had the long runner rug in front of the door that caught a lot of the water. So I didn't have to clean the floor as much because between wiping the water off his paws with no mud and then him walking across the rug, he was pretty dry to roam the rest of the house.

Ok, I'm back. Baby is bathed and nails clipped. Floor is steam mopped. Now I'm too warm, of course. I still have things to do, but at least life is a tad cleaner. Now on to replacing the screen protector on my phone, reading some more that I didn't get to this morning, and those calendars. Here goes.

Aww, that's so cute!

Abishai came running into our room this morning exclaiming, "Mommy, I see the moon!" And yes, darling, it hadn't set yet. And, I explained to him that sometimes it's actually still in the sky but we can't see it because the sun, even behind the clouds, is so bright that it blocks the moon.

Little bits of snow. Actually, it's the 4th dusting of the year.

Little man was outside at 9:30 without a hat, but he did have on snowpants, jacket, and socks and winter boots. He's getting way too big! I saw something reflecting off a window when I looked through I think the kitchen sink window and then found him jumping up and down between the bamboo and the house hitting the back windows. Goofball!

Science experiment time! Learning about how sensitive different body parts are. The back, no so sensitive, the fingers/palm of your hand, very sensitive. She also did the obleck thing with water and cornstarch to learn about how synovial fluid works.