Year 6, February 26th-28th, 2021: That Was A Quick Month!

 Well, we are nearing the end of February already. Each day seems to go by so fast, no matter how much I push myself to stay on task. I always feel behind. And now I'm stuck on one piece of information in the taxes and there's nothing I can do until Monday because it's going to get fixed until we talk to the payroll person that e2 hired. This payroll thing has been nothing but a headache this year. If my taxes are wrong, I'm blaming the payroll guy. But this involves the W-2 itself so I cannot just submit it as is and hope for the best. So, I guess I'm setting it aside and working on that e-newsletter or the letter to the financial aid office of St. Francis. Or taking down the Christmas tree. Yes, you heard me right. I need to take down our Christmas tree. Keturah offered to help and I brushed her off because I put them in the box a certain way. Well, I backtracked and said that she and Abishai can at least get all the ornaments off the tree for me. And then we'll up the light up candy canes outside as well. I'll refrain from touching the garden until more growth happens or it's April. I need to leave the old growth there to protect the new growth from frost for another month or so. And then it will be time for another round of mulch! This time it won't be so bad because the kids can help more now that they can actually see where the plants grow. And we are coming up on the 1 yr anniversary of this new thing called "stay at home orders" and Covid-19 and quarantine and wearing a mask. I can't believe it's been a year of this stuff, this nonsense in my opinion. Not a history lesson or civics lesson goes by that I don't learn something else that further deepens my opinion about this whole charade. But as you can see, our Indiana state government had enough of it, too, and has gotten a bill passed in the Senate that will make sure the governor works with the legislature if an emergency order needs to extend beyond 60 days. I don't even know what phase we are in or if that is even a thing anymore. We kind of got stuck in the "wear a mask everywhere in public" stage. We've resumed most of our normal activities, so it doesn't much matter I guess. But then there's that Equality Act by the federal government yesterday. It's been said a million times, but America is in trouble. we are beyond being in trouble, we are not a free nation in principle at all. End of story.

We got our day started ok, and I tried to hold my temper. But boy, Keturah's a been a pill this week. Abishai's jumping on couch cushions finally got to me enough that I put them all away. We didn't even finish his homework today so we have to do that tomorrow. That means we didn't go to the library either. And I have the other projects plus groceries to get tomorrow. Justin struggled with math and writing this week. At least they did pretty good on their science tests. I was a little worried after I orally tested Keturah, but I think she does better if she sees the question rather than hears it. They both did a decent job of relating themselves to the characters in Uncle Tom's Cabin. I'm not going to finish listening to it, but will instead start on the next book which is 25% shorter. We did get to watch the first hour of Gods and Generals and so far so good. It is similar to the movie Gettysburg and should be because it's the same author who wrote the books and the same producer for the movies. I can definitely tell it's from 2002 but I love the cinematic music from that time period and the use of real props and extra people instead of CGI, so I'm in heaven there. And I don't really know all the details of the movements of the troops, so this should be pretty new to me. Hopefully it rocks the kids' world a bit more. I think even Abishai could watch it. Movieguide.org loved it because it included a lot of Scripture and relying on God, even in the South proving that they were still God fearing people like the Northerners and not just evil slave owners. They were fighting to protect their own private property (land and house) and their state's rights. I think watching the movie Gettysburg back when it was released in my youth made a big impact on me and opened my eyes up to seeing the South as real people. Being a northerner, there will always be a slant to teach kids that the North was right and the South was totally wrong. It's not as clear cut as that. So, hopefully I'm presenting something more even keeled to my youngin's.

Abishai was very excited about karate class and came home exhausted. Having a class at the end of the day isn't ideal, but it's going to be ok. Oh and everyone had Bible class after 4pm today which made it crazy busy for us at the usual crazy hour of doing dinner. Abishai wanted me to stay when I dropped him off so I did and talked with Shauna and the girls and got to see Benaiah. I made a casserole out of Jared's smashed potato concoction by mixing it with eggs and then putting freezer burnt breakfast sausage patties on top. We all ate it and now there's a lot less of the potatoes. It's time to go a shopping! We have milk and veggies currently, but we are out of meat, eggs, and bread. But I stretched us to 3 weeks this time! Ok, we have some beans in the pantry and some carbs. We could probably stretch a few more days, but I want Jared's help and/or I don't want to take up my precious school days for grocery shopping. Ok now what. Go to bed on time? Which I didn't do last night because murder mysteries are hard to stop mid stream and I accidentally got into a second two part episode last night. Whoops. I'm feeling it though. I should work on a myriad of things, but I won't. I'll say "I'll do it tomorrow," and then it doesn't happen then either. I'm such a procrastinator. I think I'm going to switch gears and work on that IAHE newsletter even if I don't get it finished to go out on Monday. I'll start playing around with it for a while. We'll see. I'm done.

Someone asked for TWO eggy toasts today! He was hungry!

And he nearly ate it all!

Then it was Lego time, again, which ends up pushing into school time and thus our problem. But how can you stop a work in progress from a genius?

My questions is, if half of our state's funds goes to schools, how can we have one of the worst graduation rates and a ton of poor performing schools and teachers complaining about salaries? There's got to be so much beauracy to need that much funding, and pet projects with special assemblies, and indoctrination. This seems very skewed to me.  Although we do have a balanced budget and still have money in savings, so that is something.

Now this I can thoroughly get behind. THIS sounds like the government being controlled by checks and balances like the Founding Fathers said it should be. I hope it passes the House!

Bible class with Grandpa and cousins.

Hi, cousins!

Mom, I'm strong enough to open the door now! Well, the door must have been a tiny bit open earlier when he did it, because he couldn't do it again, but he's really close. Just a few more pounds to use against the door handle and he'll have total freedom again. I can't wait!

Whoops. I do read my Bible on the Bible app, but this just shows you that good intentions are only good intentions. I bought this fancy "you can color in" Bible and this fancy cover to go with it and here it sits for the last 4 years. Whoops. Keturah needs a study Bible to do her Grandpa assignment (which she had forgotten so she's now late on) and lo and behold we don't have one of those at home. Jared thinks he has one at the office. Jared prefers less commentary in his Bible and I thought I had a Bible with some commentary but I don't, at least not on my shelves. Hm,.....I did get to look at my teen devotional Bible and found some interesting artifacts like a match that says, "CIY 1998" because the theme was "Light the Fire." And a commitment card to witness to three people: two of which were my neighbors. And I distinctly remember where and what I prayed for my dad during that event. I know I prayed for his salvation, to make it clear and known. I remember sitting on a specific curb during our devo time. I also found one of our dating photos from 1999 in front of Gary and Leah's house and Keturah was amazed that there was no front porch, there was a white picket fence, and of course the shutters were totally different. Yup. Their front doorway is a carbon copy of ours, just like the hallway to the left is also almost a carbon copy. The rest is different though. Well, the garage is in a similar spot, too. So yup, very different. And I got to peak again at one of my mom's Bibles as well. I guess Jared and I don't use study Bibles or commentaries much. I mean I do Bible studies, but I haven't read any details in the margins of a Bible in years. So, interesting times. Poor new Bible. Dusty like my spiritual life is dusty and in need of rejuvenation which is coming I think. I'm loving the Elijah Bible study we are doing. All fresh ideas. I need that. I don't want the rehash of what I've heard before in my personal study time. So, there's that.

Saturday, play day and work day. Abishai and I did schoolwork that was finished yesterday. Then I read my Bible study and exercised. After lunch I wrote out the letter for the financial aid application for one of the medical bills. I had hoped to get to finishing that and working on the IAHE regional newsletter, but, I ran out of time. I needed to go to the grocery store at a certain time so I could meet with someone to borrow a microscope for Justin. Abishai and Jared came with me and because we didn't get much fruit and veggies thanks to the misfits box, we spent less. We needed meat and boxed stuff like mac and cheese and cereal. Oh and eggs and bread. Anyway, I got a cool door stopper that has an anchor on it, perfect for the big bathroom. I moved our fox door stopper to the fireside room. He might just become a decoration, I don't know. We only need one in the big bathroom when the whole house fan is going and the bathroom window is open. Otherwise, there's no issues with any other door. I was hurting after groceries because sitting on the exercise bike is hurting my back. And that's only because I have weak core muscles so I'm trying to push through it. I'm doing arm exercises as I bike the 6 minutes I'm on it right now. That's all I can do. I'm not going to go longer very quickly because I'm not going to send myself into a fibro flare. I think I'm going to work up to 10 minutes, and then try to squeeze in 3, 10 minute sessions during the day. That seems so much more doable than a black of 30 minutes. And I mean heart pumping kind of spinning. It's on the lowest setting and my legs are killing after 6 minutes. Yes, I'm that bad. I'm looking for endurance and higher metabolism and muscle, not weight loss at the moment. I've kind of fallen off the horse on the veggie eating this week, so I'll pick that back up this week.

Anyway, groceries, then we went to 3 other stores before coming home and it was already time for dinner! Abishai desperately wanted to play the Star Wars Lego video game Benaiah saved for us when he sold his PS4 last week.  So, after his weekly bath, he and Daddy played that game and Momma rested and started the new Civil War novel for the kids' schooling. I'm already a bit lost as to who is who and which ones are white and does this take place in the north or the south. I need the cliff notes! It's Across Five Aprils and I KNOW that I read it in high school and that it covers all 5 years of the Civil War. It's a good thing I have a book with some deep thinking questions. I might need to read up on some summaries. I also caught up on my Bible reading, too, so it's been a productive day for me. Jared fixed the dining room chair Keturah broke over a week ago and glued my dresser drawer back together, so he got something done.

Oh, and Grandpa took Keturah and Justin to the AT&T store so Justin could have his glass screen protector replaced and Keturah could get a SIM card and phone number for her phone. What I didn't mention to him at first is that Keturah is currently grounded from the phone. But I seized the opportunity to delegate this task to someone else because it's been on my list for 3 months. Texting is much harder when both parties don't have a phone number and Evelry and Nora don't have phone numbers. But Keturah's friends from church do. So I'm hoping she can text them more and even call them when she's bored. Maybe? Grandpa was concerned because we usually wait until they can pay for their phone lines but I told him I'm willing to pay for it or split it with her and give her more chores to do around the house and more one off projects like the outdoor work that will begin soon. It felt great to cross that one off my list. Now we have 7 people on one phone account and on average, it costs just $25 per phone because of Gary's long relationship with AT&T. And for the most part, we don't have much issues. And we have unlimited data (until a certain point and then the data speed slows down). And we all pay Grandpa of our phone lines. It's what works and it's cheapest. So, check that off the list!

Then I spent too much time lounging on the couch and I'm so tired. I did try to back up my bedtime from 2:30 to 1:30 to 1:10 last night. I'll aim for 1am tonight. Jared isn't happy with it, but he's also in more physical pain because he had to go off his pain medications before his steroid injection this coming Wednesday. This coming week isn't too busy, thankfully. But now the weather is a bit warmer so I want to shoo the kids outside more. Abishai wants toys like a pretend campfire or Little Tykes play house with a stove and I told him to just pretend with the elements around him! A leaf is a play, a stick becomes a fork, and food is pine needles and pine cones. Come on! Imagination! Drape the beach towels over the tree house to make a wall. Drag out a sleeping bag and an outdoor cushion. Just bring that stuff back in at night. I don't care if some toys go out during the day but they have to come in at night. It's going to rain tomorrow otherwise I would shoo them outside. I will try to do that after lunch or between 2 and 3pm before screen time. And soon, it will be light out still during 5-6pm and they can go back outside then, too, and after supper. Oh, and I also trimmed the dogs' fur on his paws today because I'm tired of pulling on them to get the mud off. When I did so, I discovered two pads on two different feet are irritated. I'm going to let it go for a couple of days and then check again. It could be from all the extra moisture constantly being in his feet, even after getting him wiped up thoroughly. Or it could be something more. He did pull away from the worst foot so it is tender. There didn't seem to be an actual injury, but who knows what he might have accidentally stepped on leaving a bruise or something. Bummers. I'm glad I got a chance to look at his feet. Poor old guy.

And now, it's the end of the day. Again. And what have I done? Nothing that matters much it seems, but it all adds up. A sweet young mom was struggling today and shared it on Instagram. I know she doesn't really know me, but her mom was one of my mentors in MOPS. So I tried to share some encouraging words with her that she is doing some things right and it's ok to hit a wall and be upset at the kids. And we will never give our kids a perfect childhood and that's ok. That's why there is a God to fill in those holes and be the perfect parent, although I doubt this sometimes myself. She just had her third baby in 5 years a few months ago, so I know she's dealing with "putting out fires" thing like I did. And they've moved into her parents' house temporarily while they build a house, just like her sister did. And it's ok. Her mama is right there and her dad is retired and doesn't talk much but will build things and do things for the kiddos. She's got some extra help, which can be hard sometimes, too. She'll get there, and her house will be built, and she'll get to set up house again and she will get settled again. The MOPS stage is a hard one. That's why there is MOPS. And I wish she would join a group, but, to each their own.

But I know the feeling of shame and guilt. I have it all the time. I bopped Abishai on the head yesterday after he flailed around again on all the couch cushions while doing read alouds and school work. And then I made him put everything away because they had been out all week and I was tired of the mess, the worry of dog hair over all the blankets and pillows and cushions and the randomness happening in the corner of my eye while I'm reading. I was done. And that's ok. Kids need to know that all humans have limits. Abishai needed another little pop on the behind today because he still wasn't sitting still enough for a little bit of schoolwork. Sigh. He's a tough one that I need to focus on, too. And Keturah's attitude has been horrendous this week. So, yup, still not a great parent. Guilty as charged. But what can we do? We can only do so much. And then the end of the day comes. And the rest has to wait until tomorrow. If we applied ourselves all day, tried to put the phone down, tried to pay attention, then we will be ok. My addiction to my phone actually slows me down enough to not overdo it and send myself into a fibro flare. I'm trying to embrace this balance we have. I take my mornings very slowly and then feel like I need to push and rush in the afternoon. It's hard. But I want to stop feeling guilty about the phone. I'm usually eating and reading emails. Or listening to something and playing my video games. My ears are listening, and my fingers are busy. And if that's a part of being ADD, I will embrace it and not apologize for it. In fact, I played my games while we listened to the video for our Bible study this week. It's hard to play games when you hear so much good stuff you want to write down. But of course I put the phone away when we had our discussion time. And that's that.

Come on, Melinda, get ahead of the game! But Alas, I can't keep the characters straight and my mind starts to wander off, especially when I get interrupted!

Last bit of snow to melt. Then it's outdoor playtime every day!

Abishai's build for today. A boat (that he said he snuck out of his room). He belt beds for the guys, a cmeara off the back of the boat, a computer and steering wheel in the cockpit which is on top of another room, and has a large glass window to see through, just like a real ship! We tried to convince him that the bottom room could be a galley or mess hall for food prep and eating, but he said the guys would just get food from the islands they visited if they didn't have to fight any bad guys. But dude, you have to have a place to prepare the food. What a genius though with all the details!

When one of your kitchen chairs are broken and you don't normally all sit down together for lunch, someone has to sit on the stool or kneel. It was Daddy's turn. Keturah said he looked like a bald headed baby. Maybe the Boss Baby from that movie by that name?

I didn't realize I caught his face like this. Bwahahahaha! And yes, food with a side of tylenol. Always when you are 41 and are in a lot of physical pain.

It's spring! The daffodils are starting to come up. We'll trim away the debris once the risk of frost is almost over.

The irises are working their way up, too.

Leftover remnants of snow piles.

Super warm today! Felt weird to go to the grocery store without a jacket!

Another month and another purchase from Lego.com. What could it be and who is it for this time?

I had it on my secondary list to take down the tree today, but at least I put away the light up candy canes from outside. We can work on the tree this week. Meanwhile, I'm still enjoying the way the lights dance on the ceiling.

The white lights on the ceiling stay up year round to add light to this room. They make a great nightlight for me when I have to sleep on the couch.

I love how the Christmas lights shines on the other stuff, too.

Daddy slicked little man's hair back after his bath. What a big forehead he has!

It took several minutes to get him to sit still fro these photos. He just gets so distracted. And we are working on our cheesy smile!

Sunday, rainy day. The middles went with Grandma and Grandpa to first service, Jared had nursery duty, Abishai went to his class, and I sat in my favorite spot high up in the balcony, when Jared isn't with me. Good service. Great songs. The topic was "Isn't Science enough?" Yeah! A bit of apologetics/theology or whatever! We had one Scripture, lol. But Dan did a great job showing how some of the top notch scientists are Christians, or have become Christians after their years of research. And science doesn't explain everything in the physical or the metaphysical world. He just scratched the surface but hopefully small groups will have some great discussions this week. I WISH we could talk about this in our group, but the Elijah study is really deep, too. The fun thing was that I finally saw a finally not wearing masks in church! And I know that they volunteer at church, too. That has now given me the courage to buck the trend and I didn't wear my mask while I was in my seat. Jared is concerned about getting sick before his procedure on Wednesday and he will be immune compromised for a bit, so I'll wear a mask when social distancing isn't possible. But I've made a decision that on Easter Sunday, I'm no longer wearing a mask at church. Not sure if I'll do it at the grocery store. I might get bolder by then when the vaccination numbers go up. They are hoping to get 85% of people vaccinated by summer. I will be part of the 15% that won't be. And now I just read that there might be a "vaccination passport" to get into Israel. Um, no, I'm not doing any of that. I still need to discuss this with the others. But that made me happier today to see that I wasn't alone and that it won't affect your ability to volunteer at church in certain ways. Of course, with little kids, it might be wise to wear the mask until flu season is over. I never wear a mask at Bible study or at MNO or at park days and we've been fine. I'm not sick. I'm not the enemy. I'm done with it.

We had lunch at Gary and Leah's and then came home for naps and screen time. I drank to much caffeine but it helped me put together the IAHE newsletter! Woot! Woot! That came together much faster than I thought. It isn't perfect. I want to fix a few things for future ones, but it's good enough to get started with. Hopefully it will go out this week! I also crunched the numbers for the taxes and W-2 and the HSA stuff. The payroll person screwed it up big time. I could do a better job than he or she has done. It's a mess. I mean I worked with payroll people and I was the accountant for Crescent Project for almost 2 years. I certainly could do a better job than this person. But I don't have time. So, I figured it out and made notes. And then, when Benaiah graduates with his CPA license, he can have e2 as one of his clients. Sigh. But I feel good that I figured it out and that I haven't wasted the whole weekend.

Abishai played with Daddy on the Star Wars Lego game and loves it! And the kids had a good time at their youth group thing. And that's about it. Time for a new week. Fairly quiet on the doctor appointment front. Next week though I have some telehealth appointments. This week Jared has his steroid injection and all that. It should be interesting. I'm a bit annoyed that everything is delayed it seems medically. I just want to hurry up and get to the things that will really help. I'm just glad that I get to talk to a different psychiatrist and a endocrinologist in 10 days. Woot! Woot! Praying that we both get some progress toward healing.

Nice one, Michael W. Smith! Secret Ambition video!

I realized that we never got a photo last summer of Abishai in front of the Kindergarten room at church because we weren't holding in person services. So while we were waiting for the doors to open, we grabbed a photo. He did NOT want to take off his mask. How sad is that?

At least I got him to put his mask below his chin. It won't be long and he'll be in Grandma and Justin's room!

Um, I didn't know hanging up clothing was a good use of a drum kit? Bwahahaha, he said he just hadn't put his clothes away yet. Some days, he is just like his dad, who occupied this room for half of his childhood. Cracks me up!

Abishai wanted me to take photos of his boat before he destroyed it to make something else.

I moved our new but cheap skeleton over to protect the treasure on the island, aka the St. Patrick's Day fake clover plant.

This is how we in the 90's started the trend of making thumb holes. Bwhahahaha, I don't care if I still dress sometimes like I did in the 90's. It's not quite the style now, but I still like a t-shirt and then button up shirt, usually flannel. I can only fit in this one though and it makes me super sad.

Thanks Big Brother Miah for saving this Star Wars Lego game. Daddy finds it frustrating, but I heard lots of giggles from Abishai!

The End

Year 6, February 22nd-25th, 2021: The Blur of the Mundane

 Monday was busy but productive. I explained to Abishai that I wear many hats and I think he understood it, but not totally. I had to put on my "house business" hat today and figure out the medical bills. Then I got into it and decided to just fix it all right now. That's all it takes. I just need to get started. So, now the big hospitals are on a payment plan, and I have an inkling of what to do next with the "minor" bills from various other places. So, I didn't get schoolwork done with Abishai. I did do some read alouds, but then I had a doctor's appointment, the only one for the week! Woot! Woot! The kids worked on their history DVD and then had screen time. Keturah had less screen time because she failed to read and/or listen to Uncle Tom's Cabin. So, she had to do that on the tablet through YouTube listening to an audio version on 1.25 speed. Ain't natural consequences fun? We did get to talk about some of the chapters though and it was a good discussion. Abishai was chanting something about Napoleon when he set up an army base after chores today, so something is sticking with them, right?

My doctor's appointment was very good, but I had to wait 1 1/2 hrs! Oh my word, that has been my longest wait in a long time. I should have put my earbuds in and listened to Uncle Tom's Cabin! We decided I would switch psychiatrists at their behavioral health, and then put in a referral to Eskenazi if necessary. She would also send a referral to IU Endocrinology for the hormones. She sent in a prescription for my really bad migraine days. And then she said she's finishing up her residency and will be leaving the practice in June. Super sad face. She's one of my favorites! My blood pressure was still pre-hypertension so we'll still watch that. I had only had coffee and a bit of food before I left so I was a bit all over the place. My temperature was a bit high at 99.1, but I was having a hot flash when it was taken. So, we made a bit of progress today, yeah. I did pray for I went in, so maybe that helped.

We had leftovers for dinner, including a nice salad to use up all the vegetables before the new ones come in tomorrow. And then Jared and Abishai played "street fighter" video game and I did my Bible study. And that's about it. It was super warm today at 38 degrees so lots of melting happened. 

Say, what?! What is this?! It's a YouTube video that was posted to our Friends Online Michael W. Smith fan group and I out of the corner of my eye, I spied a ponytail on his mullet! This is from 1990 or something. So I took a photo of my computer screen because in all my years of staring at videos and photos of him, I've NEVER seen him have a ponytail! I came on the scene just after the mullet days. And of course these videos are much more rare than today's videos. Craziness!

Loads of melting today and poor BB8's head looks like a little stump.

When I saw this tweet, it reminded me of going out on the PEI beaches no matter the weather. Some people go to the beach for the hot weather, tan, and going into the water. But there are others like me who love the water, the sea, at any temperature. The sea ice is so much fun! And to just walk along the sea dressed in warm clothes is just so different than in a bathing suit. Someday I'd love to live near the sea again.

This was a fun graphic I saw. I always teach that there is "here" in "there" which is a place, and the "they're" is easy enough to add the "a" back into it to see if that works. Someone else posted about "heir" being in "their" so referring to a person. Cool!

Abishai has decided to start trying to read words on his own. I overheard him trying to sound out words on the Risk game! And Daddy said he read some of the words on the Bible question in his story last night. The gentle approach is the best approach and to WAIT WAIT WAIT for the child to be ready. Now he's going to be more willing to learn because he has a reason to. So, I guess we did a little bit of school today because I showed him how a word is broken down into syllables and that some of the special sounds we were just learning are in those exact words. And yes, I'm trying to slip in more of the day of the week words, too. The problem is that he knows a song from preschool class at church that goes through the days of the week and he didn't catch on to all the names so he'll say, "Monday, Tuesday, Friday!" And I was thinking that yes, maybe I don't really think about teaching that until they recognize sounds and letters and can read them. Don't put the cart before the horse.

Abishai Trying to Read While He Plays!

Tons of melting last night. I had just taken a photo of the snow surrounding the candy cane. I'll try to at least put these way this weekend. Maybe the tree. We'll see.

Abishai's army base contains an arsenal, sleeping quarters, and a mess hall! And I was the general! So he kept coming to me to ask what to do next! He even had a guitar to use when we celebrate our victories!

Abishai Telling Us About His Army Base

And he had a barricade!

See the text below for this explanation. And now, he didn't pick up the other things we needed for the experiments this week. Punk. Or good husband for actually picking up milk? I guess so.

Wow, dude! Are you playing the tuba?

Cutest 6 yr old ever! Cute pose even!

Well, I skipped blogging on Tuesday night because I came back late from Mom's Night Out and then I skipped on Wednesday night because I had Bible study and I had to clean up my mess from cooking a bunch of vegetables.  I also had to catch up on lots of other things. I keep trying to hustle myself but I still can't seem to get much else done during the day besides home school. It just seems to drag on and on. So, it's Thursday, 4 pm, and I'm trying to sneak in a few words before supper prep. I didn't even have hardly any doctor appointments this week. I have made a couple of phone calls. And I've done my Bible study. But wow, it's hard to get it all done. When my friend said that her "job" is (going to) the gym, because she doesn't have a job outside the home and her kids are in public school, I was like, yup, you choose your lifestyle and I've chosen mine. And mine doesn't include 30-60 minutes of workouts every day or loads of reading. You go be trim and I'll stay here and drink my fancy mocha full of sugar drink. We all good. I would say it isn't fair, but we've both made our choices. And I don't need to feel guilty for trying to do what I do AND try to do what someone else does or looks like.

On that note, I've got my psychiarist provider switched and an appointment with the endocrinologist both in mid March, so just a couple of weeks. Both telehealth appointments. If I wanted an in person appointment with endo, it would have had to wait until June or July. Crazy! Sometimes I feel like our health system is like socialist healthcare in Canada and we have to wait months and months for care. Are we just that short on doctors? Maybe Covid related? Maybe not since numbers are starting to decline a ton thanks to herd immunity. Maybe endocrinology will test me for anitbodies. Maybe they will get me an exemption to any Covid vaccine. I don't know but I don't want the vaccine still, and it's going to be required to travel by plane soon enough and if I raise a stink and pull out of the Israel trip over a vaccine, my in laws are going to be very, very unhappy with me. 

Anyway, MNO was great and I got to share a lot of info with new moms and eat some great Mexican. And then, my friend connected me with a newer friend and we had a "duh" moment over getting the documentation for Justin's test taking accommodations. Contact HSLDA! Booya! They have a special learners' team that can get this done or knows how to get it done. Woot! Woot! And then at Bible study, another friend gave me some powerful insight into what we were studying with Elijah and how it relates to how I'm feeling about church right now. Basically, God prepared Elijah through his growing up years and into his ministry years for awhile. Then he had his pinnacle moment on Mt. Carmel with King Ahab. And then, God told him to go away and hide at Kerith, a tiny brook, where no one could find him, while the drought dragged on. There God taught him to rely on only God even more until God was ready to release him again to ministry. It makes sense. We prepared for ministry through growing up and in our first 10 years of marriage. We went away and had a pinnacle moment in Canada, but also we were at the height of Indian Creek's ministries with being part of the "royal" family. We were in the limelight and I relished that, and took it seriously. We did what we could in Canada and then were booted out and sent back here to regroups, isolate, process, and come to terms with all the changes there and here. The pandemic forced us all into more hiding and created a chance for me at least to reevaluate everything I thought about Indian Creek, and to see some major shifts in the leadership there. It has worked to thin out the crowd a bit and keep the most loyal ones there, the ones that are willing to partner with the new leadership and move the church forward. And, a chance for us, as the Johnsons, to further separate ourselves from leadership and become mere mortals again, lay people, congregants. That's a major, major shift in my mind. Maybe not so in Leah's mind. She has her place and keeps on going. But she also connected with the new leadership in ways that God didn't allow us, too. And now I see why. My friend thought that maybe it's because the next two kids are introverted and maybe it's a chance for them to just be kids and under the radar instead of always being watched like royals and like Benaiah has been. I don't think they feel that way, but they didn't spend most of their growing up years in the limelight either with heavy expectations on them like Benaiah has. 

And then in further reading in the daily material for our Bible study, that notion was confirmed. We aren't in a desert, but we are in a period of preparation for the next major shift. We are supposed to fly under the radar because then we don't feel the need to perform and I can wrestle with God on these heavy topics without being watched. I've been making the mistake of making them public. It's supposed to be a private thing. This is an intense time in our homeschooling. It IS my job. It IS my ministry. And sermons aren't always directed towards me personally. Sure you can get something out of them I supposed, but they are supposed to reach a broader audience and to catch those who aren't where I'm at or haven't been as churched or have come back or something else. So I need to just take a chill, let it be what it is, go if I feel like it, stay home if I feel like it, and remember, we aren't in the leadership family anymore. No one is looking at us. No one knows who we are. The people that do know who we are, know what we were 20 years ago and love us all the same. Those who remained friends or good acquaintances through FB are those you want sticking around.

So, I've got my tight little circle. Four main families of our EYB homeschool play group and four main families in our Bible studies/neighborhood church group. That's all I need right now. I have a place to serve on the IAHE and although I haven't been doing much proactive with it, we are coming out of the crisis of the last two months and I can dive back in again shortly. And Jared is doing his ministry thing, too. And that's where we need to be. Oh, one more thing about Elijah. He didn't stick around to help. He wasn't called to solve the people's problems or even to point the finger and say, "I told you so." He already did that, told the people of their punishment, and left them to it. God was saving him from their wrath, too. So, it's ok to hide a bit, or to be forced into hiding. It's ok to be disconnected with the world or even the church. Just keep riding the hamster wheel and taking the time to dig deep in preparation for the next big thing, whether it be a trial or a mountaintop. It's a phase, and it could be a long or short one. We went through a crisis in 2016. We are going through our health crisis' and mid life crisis' now. We are getting our health put back into order in preparation for what's ahead. We were put in this city, ,with the resources and many hospital and doctor choices to take care of our current needs. We might not have had that opportunity on PEI and Benaiah wouldn't have had the same opportunities as he has had here. 

So, I will be content. I will stay in the preparation phase. I'll work through my doubts. I will work through my health issues. And I will look ahead to what is next, which I'm kind of thinking will be in 5-10 years. Again, I don't think there will be a major shift in anything we are doing for at least 5 years, whether it be our ministries, or launching the next two kids. Then it might be time for a major change of scenery or routine or way of looking at things. But for now, we stay put. In this preparation phase. And I will content.

And in this phase, the mundane becomes a blur. Abishai has been sick this week with a head cold. His karate teacher said he's fine to come to class. He hasn't had any fever and he hasn't been around anybody but his Sunday School friends for an hour on Sunday. Just wear your mask and wash your hands. He hasn't even been that lethargic, so it's a very mild case of whatever. I'm not getting him tested for Covid. That's just too much. It's a head cold and we would treat it as such 18 mos ago, i.e. staying home on the worst of the days and then still going out over being fever free for at least 24 hrs. No testing needed to see which of the 1,000's of viruses it could be. I'm going to take him to the library tomorrow or Saturday to get his first library card and to pick up his books he ordered. School has been more of a struggle this week for him, but it's partially the timing in which we do it. Meltdowns over if it was the right time to make couch forts happened. 

Meanwhile, Keturah had a setback with her lying and confessing sin. She was on YouTube for much longer than necessary to finish reading Uncle Tom's Cabin via a sped up audiobook. The tablet is set up to link with my YouTube account so I can check the history as needed. It came up last night and as I pried around, I noticed that things weren't adding up. She had been grounded from electronics because of attitude yesterday, but claimed she need to keep "reading" the book. Um, yeah, not so much. So now she is indefinitely banned from personal electronics. I might turn off the wifi on my old laptop so she can watch DVD's we have at home. But no more free rein for awhile. She can read her print Bible, a print book or audio CD's, and communicate if she needs to with friends through my phone while I'm in her presence. She only felt bad that she got caught. Most of it was benign and fun videos, but they were watched during her punishment time. Big no-no. Back to the basics, Missy. Sigh.

Justin is doing ok. He had to do geometric proofs and we thought he had it down, but he totally bombed his test. There's a couple more lessons on it, so hopefully he'll catch on soon. I saw on FB that his friend Bryce was struggling with his geometry, too, just a different concept. Fun times! We'll see how science went this week. We were ready to do science experiments today, or so we thought, and I had told them a week ago to tell what they needed, but they didn't thoroughly prepare and now we don't have what we need. Grrr....we need a better microscope and better rubber bands that don't have dry rot.Whoops. At least we get to start their history DVD that I really want to watch, Gods and Generals, soon.

There's nothing going on this weekend besides normal domestic stuff. Bible class, karate, grocery run, taking down the rest of the Christmas stuff outside and inside, taxes, medical papers, naps? And somehow working on this pile of other stuff sitting besides me. Oh, one thing I did look into was replacing my engagement ring. For a real 1/5 carat diamond, plain yellow gold engagement band, it starts at $700. Oh my word! I was hoping to get away with $200-500. I can't be claiming poor through one side of my mouth and then expect to be ok with replacing something like that for that much. It's all I want for my 40th birthday/20th anniversary, but still. Yikes! I have to rethink that one. I did cry over it though. How stupid of me to loose my first one, the one we paid $1600 for a customized wedding band, too, at prices set in 2000. It was my own piece of fine jewelry. Everything else I own is costume jewelry, or basically each piece costs less than $100. Sigh. It's not fair. It's just an object, but it means a ton to me. I miss it a lot and often. I remember playing with it throughout my college classes. It was simple, but so perfect. I miss it a lot. But that's all I know about it now.

And now it's time for dinner.

I JUST vacuumed a few hours earlier! Foot crumbs! Aka dead skin! GRRRRR

Breakfast of champions this week. He ate three Nutter Butter cookies and milk for 3 days in a row for breakfast!

Justin hanging out with his stuff after Justin told him to get everything out that he wanted so Justin could study in peace. We also have to make sure there's extra underwear of Abishai's under the sink because if he dribbles just one tiny drop, he insists he needs to change it. This week, in one load of laundry, I found about a dozen pairs of underwear and I think that load was two days' worth. Yikes!

Cutest underwear you ever did see! Grandma did well picking it out! I actually own several of those duck creations when I was a kid.

Abishai brought out the kinex again and made this fun thing to keep the bad guys out.

He asked if we could this "trampoline" apart and said, yup, it's been there for months. He wanted me to take one photo of it before he destroyed it.

Warmest day all year! Spring is in the air!

The little boy whose motor is always running. Cute stuff.

Lazy bones who sleeps away the day. We got him some pain medication this week because he was grunting more and more as he was trying to lay down. The prescription cost $50 though! I think I have a coupon somewhere, but jeepers, there's got to be a way to get it cheaper! It was filled by our regular pharmacy. Maybe the vet's office itself would be cheaper, but I didn't want to go all the way to the north side for it.

It's a good day if you can have a nerf gun fight with your 6 yr old before going to work for the day!

Race you to the van! I win! You can't leave!

Selfies with my little guy who looks so much older!

It occured to me when writing my usual birthday posts on everyone's walls that all of these people are from different places around the world and from different social groups I'm in. From homeschooling to Michael W. Smith to PEI to back here in Indiana. My friends list is very varied and eclectic. And I've been writing the same thing on everybody's walls for over 5 years I think! I still mean every bit of it, but it helps me think about these acquaintances, what their life stories might be now, see their children and grandchildren. A peek into the every day life.

The start of a multi day fort.

Peek a boo!

At least this fort is contained to this room and with just a little bit of adjusting, we can carry on as normal. Although, I kind of lost my sit down calm down Bible study seat.

Dog-O didn't want to come in! He was enjoying his sunbath! And probably the quiet solitude.

Based on some of his other films, I'm going to guess this is going to be pretty progressive and racy, but he's going to do it well, I'm sure. I just thought it was funny that I took a screen shot of when the post was in French or Italian instead of it's English translation. The series was filmed in Italy and I think produced by an Italian company, so it will be awhile before it reaches Amazon I'm sure. And the best source for news about it, and Aidan's career, seems to be these foreign (non English/British) accounts on Instagram and Twitter and Facebook. So, it's been interesting to see how especially the French interact with one another. I can't comment much on the posts or I think I'll be booted out or something. It's kind of weird an fascinating.

English, I sprakin'.

Abishai wanted to put our very cheap skeleton kit together. Oh my word it's so cheap! Oh well, it's useful IF we are careful. And if not, it was less than $10 at Ollie's. But here is his/her first pose that Justin gave it, "The Dab!" And I couldn't figure out how to get it to stay on the stand but Abishai did! Smarty pants!

I'll stay over here Mommy, and you can read to me. Oh the joys of homeschooling! You can learn wherever you want to! I love my "teacher" chair though, the red one. It reminds me of my mom having "her" chair with her little tray table beside her with her assignment books for us, and other things. It never moved for all the years I can remember growing up. It might have been my Dad's chair for awhile, but then when he got the pinched nerve, he usually just spent time in his bedroom after work. He typically left early and came home late after up to 2 hrs driving each way. I don't blame him. We could go talk to him, but he was in pain. Anyway, the memories I have are quiet unique, the good and bad, but lots of just "normal" neutral ones. So, I have my red teaching chair, Jared's petite grandmother's chair, that I adore because I can put my feet on the floor and it's a rocker. Not a recliner, but it suits me just fine and I love the dark red. You've seen it in other photos I'm sure. So, that's where I sit for read alouds with my teacher tools beside me on the fireplace stone.

Abishai's New Home

This is inside my new home.

And this is my backyard. Mommy, you can buy a pretend campfire you know. I want one. Oh yeah, now I remember where he saw it! It was at the Indiana State Museum! But I know I've seen some toy ones, as well. Honey, just use your imagination with an orange and/or brown pillow, ok?

Well, we had done a decent job with the produce box this week, but I did have some things that needed to be cooked. So I ended up cooking a bunch of different veggies at once using all the cooking methods. (See the Instagram post at the beginning of this set of photos). And, yes, red beets are VERY staining. I was super careful. But man, I love their texture and slight sweet but earthy flavor. And I feel so good about eating something so rich in color and vitamins.

Yikes! And that's white corn (which turned slightly yellow when cooked) behind my hand, and then small papaya that Jared bought. We love having a variety of vegetables and fruit in the house instead of just your standard American fare of peas, carrots, and green beans or apples, oranges, and bananas. The kids don't eat what I eat, but they are welcome to try it. Keturah will sometimes eat things like brusell sprouts while the boys won't.  Jared actually ate the fried purple tipped broccoli I cooked, they all did because it was gone when I got home from Bible study.  You're never too old to try something new!

Maybe that expensive medication is working! Socks was willing to play with his sheepy today! Woot! Woot! $50 for 30 days worth. You aren't actually supposed to give dogs human ibuprofen or naprosyn. It's not formulated correctly for their stomachs. And I guess for all the great years Socks has already given us and for his relatively cheap existence (like we haven't had any major medical problems or bills except that little knobby thing on his gums which was benign.), I guess paying for a pain medication when he's turning 11 is A-OK. He's worth it. We've been blessed with an extremely healthy, gorgeous, worry free animal.

This is what the kids are eating for dinner.

This is what I get to eat for dinner. No, I'm not becoming a vegetarian, but I find batch cooking pretty helpful when I think to actually do it. And I so happened to have a ton of great, colorful veggies on hand thanks to those Misfits boxes. I was going to change them to every other week, but we are still keeping up, so here goes! Beets, zucchini, yellow squash, white corn, sweet potatoes, purple tipped broccoli.

Nothing fancy about this photo except it serves as a reminder that the toilet actually overflowed today. Abishai had just been there with a BM and Keturah had also been in there (with some menstruating mess), so when it overflowed, we had a bit of both floating around. It was nasty. And a bit smelly. And I tried, but couldn't fix it. I haven't had a toilet overflow on me in years. Usually it just gets stopped up. So we turned off the water and by hand poured the extra water out in the kitchen sink. Don't worry, I thoroughly scrubbed everything afterwards. And I did steam mop that floor and the dining room floor (Abishai had spilled a whole cup of milk the day before) and the hallways to the back door (paw prints) the next day. Fun times!

Oh my word. I have to laugh. I was in a hurry and trying to take a selfie. I'm so used to taking screenshots that I used those buttons instead of the big fat white button you see there. I'm such a goof! It was such a great photo I thought! And now I can't use it on anything. Grrrr! I was just happy I had something to wear and that it felt like fall/spring weather, so I've been wearing my fall stuff again because it's the only thing that fits me, like this oversized plaid shirt. Sure it's not particular "in style" but it was when I was in high school so it's "my" style that I feel covered and comfortable in. And my hair had some waves in it. No makeup per usual. Oh well. I tried!

"Gotta get my energies out!"

 

"Mommy, I need to get my energies out!" Abishai says as he makes laps around the front yard. He did big circles and little circles and medium circles. This was at 6pm. This kid was up at 7pm and he's still going strong. Surely field and track will be his thing later. Maybe swimming even. We'll see! Soccer? For now, he knows he wants to and needs to move, so out he goes! I made sure they all took a "recess" at lunch the next day, although it was a tad cooler. They all stayed outside for longer than I thought!

He used the tree like a pole and hung on to it as he rounded the "bend."

We have absolutely NO fashion sense in this house. None. This is how Justin goes to small group. Good thing the rest of the guys are athletes and dress similarly.

Last day to wear Christmas and snow socks. The snow is gone!

This is an ad on one of my phone games! No joke! Is FB's user base getting so low that they have to advertise now? I can remember when we didn't have FB and now how it is a staple of a modern mom's life! I can't do anything without it from events to information to photos to getting information to stories to yes, people, too! I still don't use Twitter and Instagram that much.

The next day, finally, Thursday. Abishai and the dog are ready to head out for the first bathroom run of the day. 8:30am. Abishai would be outside at least 3 more times that day.

Uh oh, the cutters didn't quite through the shapes on the dino nuggets! Is this evolution? Or adaptation?  Abishai and I had just read a book on Charles Darwin. I tried to familiarize home with the big words that we will discuss again in a year or so and often after that.  I also explained we can read a book and not agree with 100% of what it says. He's probably way too young to understand that, but it felt better to say it anyway. You can learn about a person without agreeing to what their believes are. What we do know that there probably lay it all out on a big conveyor belt and have a big rotating drum with a series of the shapes on it, like a pattern, so that they don't waste anything. Fascinating!

Another warm day, and another day for shorts. Oh wait, didn't he just wear that last night to youth group? Buddy, go change!

I didn't get to fully read this when I reposted this and downloaded it. Oh my word, how true is this?! 100% true! Very much! Like I totally get it! This is my day in a nutshell. 9am to 3pm. Why do you think they all get screen/quiet time from 3-5pm? I wouldn't want it any other way though.

It's time to go to the grocery store because I had to scrounge three different kinds of meats to have enough for everybody. I got to have my bacon wrapped scallops I had been saving for a few months on top of GF pasta. And then some of my veggies from last night and the last of the fried kale/collard greens. Yum-O. Simple. Only seasonings. A bit of oil, but no butter or pasta sauce. Plain but good filling food. And yes, Abishai has a small pile of Legos on the table at all time.

The End