Year 6, March 5th-7th, 2021: Super Big Weekend

Abishai had a super big weekend! On Friday, we actually got a 5th day of school in one week for the first time all year! To be fair, I typically aim for 4 days a week in the beginning of Kindergarten because it's hard to fit it in when you've got other things going on. You need the space and time to let it flow, and not be rushed. So, yeah, we did 5 days! And then we went to our first very chilly park day of 2021 with our homeschooling friends! We had several new families show up, but it was the fab 5 that stayed for the whole time. I need to be more careful about how long we stay because Abishai barely had enough energy left for karate. We did the best we could to fuel him up and away he went with Daddy. The other two and I watched more of Gods and Generals. Oh man, we got into some of the non battle dialogue scenes and I could finally tell that this was really produced by the same people as Gettysburg. If only both sides of any argument could respect the humanity of the other side, there wouldn't be so much name calling and evil. Both of these long movies portray both sides as being humble, but strong Christians that are just doing what they think is right. They mourn for the losses of their enemy just as much as they mourn for their own. And man, the scenes with Stonewall Jackson and and a little southern belle age 5 will melt your heart and remind you that these generals are still humans with compassion and love. And these two movies show the battles without as much blood and guts as other ones do. You see how many people die for sure, but it's not up close and crazy horror stuff, although that would be more accurate. Anyway, so far so good. 

Little man went straight to bed. So did Keturah because it's now her turn to have the head cold. I think I had bit of it, then Abishai had it for 3 days, Jared felt a sniffle for a couple of days, and now Keturah is miserable. But that's normal. Once or twice a year we are miserable, and then we become immune and we're good. Easy peasy. That's how God designed our bodies to work, and that's how we naturally let them work. Meanwhile, it was the longest line ever for people getting the Covid-19 vaccine at the IMS Speedway today. They lowered the age to 50 and all the baby boomers flocked to the sites to get the first shot of the vaccine. They think that restrictions will be eased once we reach a certain number vaccinated. Well, Texas got rid of all mandates, Florida never had any, and another state also will back off in a few weeks time. We've been a hot bed off and on and we have the strictest restrictions in place. I'm so glad the kids aren't in school. I don't have to worry about figuring out how to sign a wavier that my child will not get the vaccine. I can do as I please. And I do see a huge division between people, the public school families typically go with what mass media says and the homeschool families, who are already bucking the system by pulling their kids out of school, are hesitating and thinking through if these mandates are constitutional and if a vaccine should be mandated or not. Homeschoolers tend to think independently of the mob. The mob operates under group think. The mass media abuses their power to promote this group think. It's all about power, from politicians to mass media to local officials. It's never ending. All it takes is to step back and question the status quo. That's it. Most of my generation was indoctrinated by the public school system. They were shoved into a box and forced to think one way, whether they realized it or not. My husband, in laws, and even my parents were part of this system. My parents saw the flaws and broke away from it when they met other homeschoolers in the early 90's, barely 10 years after the big uproar in making homeschooling legal. Then the lucky few of us that were homeschooled got a totally different approach to education, from self education, to having the ability to think independently. I see it time and time again. We must break away from this mob mentality and group think or we will end up like Nazi Germany. It started out subtlety. And ended with enslavement and death. When I discuss something with the kids, we don't have solid answers and solutions, but we talk about both sides of an issue and where the hearts of the "enemy" might lie where they lay. All are human. All have fallen short of the glory of God and deserve death. But God save the WHOLE world, if we would just believe. That includes every terrorist and dictator, every author that included some prejudices in his books and then recanted later. That includes Robert E. Lee as much as it does Ulysses S. Grant.That includes Jefferson Davis and Stonewall Jackson as much as Abraham Lincoln. And now I will get off my soapbox.

It was good to be around friends who think exactly like I do. And they won't look at you funny because you do life differently than them because we are ALL considered different in the homeschool community. There is never just one way to a solid education. Never has been. Never will be. And that's why homeschool graduates are so successful. They think creatively. They THINK before they act. They don't say "how high" when someone tells them to jump. They ask, "Why do we need to jump?" Never squelch the "why" and hand feed your opinions to your children or someone else. Own up to your opinions and that they may or might not be wrong. Of course this doesn't apply to the Biblical truth that most Christians agree on. (excluding progressive Christians because they do NOT value Biblical truth as we know it. A good book makes you THINK. It doesn't give you all the answers. That's why books like "Uncle Tom's Cabin" and "Across Five Aprils" are just that good. Don't be a dumb sheep and follow the rest of the crowd off the cliff. Stop and turn to the shepherd and ask why, and then run the other direction. Sigh. I saw other differences in the social circles I hang out with, too, this week, but keeping those to myself for now. It just helped me remember why I do what I do every single day. Why even my Benaiah, who we thought would never mature, is the most mature 18 yr old I know, holding down a full time job plus earning cash on the side, volunteering, maintain a beautiful relationship with a wonderful girl, and close relationships with his best friends, while still being mentored by older men. We laid that foundation, he had to do a lot on his own to grow up, and the private school helped to finish him up. But seeing who Benaiah is now, gives me all the more confidence to keep going with the others. We did it once, we'll do it again, in their own ways and quirkiness and journeys. And that is what I currently live for. There will be time for other things, but right now, in this season of life, we've got to get these kids grown up well. I live for my children, but in a different way than others do. I don't live to hand them everything or helicopter parent them. I don't make it easy for them. I'm a mean mom that makes me watch a DVD on the Civil War on a Friday night just because we can. Oh how I love this part of my life. 

The rest of it, well, it can really, really suck. My right leg was on fire today. Like restless leg syndrome or pulsating nerve pain from my knee down the back of my shin through my ankle. I can't get rid of it no matter what I try. Or the rebound headache from using major medication yesterday. Or the finances that are screwed up again because the paycheck didn't arrive when it should have. I know that as an untrained accountant in a non profit, I made 100's of mistakes. I know I screwed up there. And I pray that whatever I did wrong was found and properly fixed. I didn't have enough training for that job at all. But, I also have common sense. If you are going to pay someone to handle your payroll, they better have tons of experience of doing it RIGHT and actually knowing how to handle non profit situations. I'm not saying I would personally do a better job. Maybe I would make the same mistakes. But I'm still inexperienced and untrained. And yet, I know, just from my degree from nearly 20 years ago, that if you can, you make those accounts look perfect so the auditing process goes smoothly and no question of fraud comes up. I don't know why this irks me so much. From my perfectionism attitude to the personal issues it has created in our own bank accounts, I'm just over it. I'm told 2021 will be better. Um, no, it's not. You didn't deposited the paycheck on time and therefore, we went to overdraft AGAIN and now I have to play match up and make sure everything matches up from our side. It creates more work for me. And I don't like it. My time is precious. Do your job so I can do mine. End of story.

Up next, the twins birthday party and maybe a library card for Abishai? Or a FAFSA filled out or a letter to St. Francis asking for a reduction in bills owed. We'll see what the morning brings!

I didn't mean to take a screenshot, but I did. This video was on reminding us to study and know our Constitution and our rights. Ignorance is not ok. Rick Green is the new Rush Limbaugh. So be careful, some of his stuff is pretty far, far right and he's extremely passionate.

I teased Abishai and said he friends were going to eat his chicken nuggets before he had a chance to, so we played a game back and forth with that. And then I came back 10 minutes later and found that Abishai brought more friends to play with doing Legos together. I assume they shared Valentine's donut as well for a snack. This kid is never without friends.

Abishai was so excited to be at a playground again! He hadn't been out to a park in months. And he found some new friends!

"Look, Mom, a tire swing!" Kid, we have one at home, but ok.

Teens and their phones, lol. We were the first ones there, and Justin didn't stay up there. I saw him running around or talking with his friends in different spots.

I can't believe this one is still allowed, lol. It's so tall!

Playground fun

"Mom, I might need help." "No, you don't." "Ok, I believe I can do it. I just have to believe that I can do it." Yes, buddy, I believe you can do it by yourself, too.

And you did!

I was talking and didn't notice that Abishai had scampered up to the top of the pyramid wire thing again. He just sat up there all proudly. Sigh.

Loads of friends today, yeah!

Mostly the usual gang, but I know they ran around with others, too.

Pulsating, restless leg syndrome tingling, can't get rid of it feeling down my knee, back of my shin, and through my outer ankle and foot. It still hurts. What is going on? Chiropractor is next week, so I'm hoping that fixes it for now. And yes, I thinhk I had this when I was pregnant, too, along with the horrible heartburn I had today. It took a Pepcid AC, ginger essential oil, and Pepto Bismal to get it to be tolerable. It's so ridiculous.

And they wonder where they get their geekiness from? Ok, both of us! Lol.

Saturday was not what I had planned, well, I didn't plan much, but it was very emotionally draining. I wrote a long FB post about my woes and then went to a birthday party with Abishai and some things hit me weird there. It had nothing to do with the hosts and the boys, but some of the overall behavior kept Abishai clinging to me and then he got hit in the arm on purpose by a much larger neighbor boy who wasn't even part of the party. We left soon after that. Again, the hosts and their whole family that we've known for more than 20 years are fine. It's some personal things that hit me wrong and I was already on edge today. The mom even noticed Abishai feeling out of sorts and told him that she gets overwhelmed at her parties, too. They are a sweet family.

 I didn't try to push Abishai to play with anyone but hee did play outside for awhile, so that was good. He just wasn't his usual self. He was also tired from park day and karate. His karate teacher was actually there, though! But didn't recognize us without our masks! Lol! She's sweet and I overheard her saying why she started the grasshoppers class and how she keeps commitment for her other classes short (and cheaper than other studios) because she found that it's just better overall for everyone. She's got a great heart for these kids who really need some positivity in their lives. The location of the studio is in a more ghetto-ish part of the town we used to live in. It's just older. And that's ok. It's the heart of the studio owner/teachers that I care about, and it's obvious, that this studio is perfect for us. I felt the same way about Keturah's gymnastics gym as well. Great price for introductory classes with a sweet teacher wanting to meet the kids where they were at without all the pushing to make a career out of it. She has some team gymnasts of course that do very well. But her heart was also in taking care of all the kids. For that, I am grateful.

So, I took Abishai to the dollar store to pick up some goodies for all the kids. We had already planned beforehand to go back to CVS to get the Lego set we had given the boys, but then we found the exact monster truck Abishai had asked for for Christmas and his birthday so we bought that instead. Abishai and I had determined to both contribute money towards it. So, we finally have Loco Punk, a monster truck that looks like a steam train engine on top. Think Thomas the Train on top of monster truck wheels. That cheered him up and he was normal again by the time we got home. Plus milk is half the price it is at CVS, so win-win!

And that's where we kind of leave of for the day. I tried to get the other kids to work on their projects. Keturah worked on hers AFTER we got home and sniffled her cold all over my new computer because somehow in one month, my old computer is suddenly not working. I couldn't work on anything else anyway today. And I'm ready to watch my TV shows. I never have enough "good" clear time of the day to work on the important stuff. I have so much wasted time of feeling physically crappy in the morning, with headaches, leg pain, low back pain, and overall brain fog and then at night, I'm totally done with everything that uses brain power but physically I'm ok. I can't win. There's no enough of me. I'll have to hope I feel better tomorrow and get that financial aid application done. I just need to update it and tweak it with the federal taxes and new amounts on the bills. I'm almost there with it. I need one more hour to finish it off. Tomorrow then.

Oh..my...word...these advertising campaigns! Nope! Nada! Not listening! I will not be guilted into doing something I'm unsure of. And I just watched a 3 minute video from CBS about how you'll be able to get together in homes without masks if everyone is vaccinated but you still have to wear masks out even when they hit their goal numbers of vaccinations received. What? Nope. You can't dictate it like that. You are shaming us and putting us into a corner if we don't comply JUST like the smallbox vaccine. I will not do it. NOPE.

I found this ad on one of my phone games!

A lovely part of geographical paradise (politically, it's not paradise, not at all).

Common grazing ground like in the days of Israel.

I want to barf.

A little elf was outside today with his Daddy trying to shoot some hoops! Spring is coming!

Jared got some oil specifically made for the blade and away he went on cutting down some of the bigger pieces of wood.

He couldn't get the basketball into the hoop, so he was mad. Mad and sad little elf.

Finally! We haven't had one since before Christmas! Thank God Jared feels better!

This is as close as this hot box can get to a fire.

And this is my little hot box at a few weeks old!  I look so much skinnier here, too. He's my little squishy squish. He says he will love me forever. I think he's the one who's going to protect his Mommy and Daddy forever.

Each twin had their own cake, one blueberry and one strawberry, so Abishai wanted a little bit of both.

He ate a good amount of it. I helped him on the strawberry pudding one.

Abishai wanted to see what the boys got, but he stood at a distance observing from the outside of the chaos.

I could NOT fall asleep last night! I tried to go to bed at 12:15am, but couldn't settle physically/mentally/emotionally so I got up and went to the couch to sleep. No use in the both of us bothering each other all night long. I woke up in a lot of pain still and drained. The sermon was going to be on if there are other ways to get to heaven/Jesus, so I decided to skip. Instead, I needed my Bible app, God, and my heating pad in the quiet of home with no social demands, so that's what I did. I caught up on Bible reading and then took a nap. I did some thinking and praying when I wasn't actually asleep. I rubbed out my sore muscles. And then I got some coffee, a meal replacement bar (I'm so addicted to those things but it helps), and started on a book about how a Christian's faith was rocked by thoughts surrounding progressive Christianity. It's an easy read in a way, but already, 3 chapters in and it's very insightful and helpful with just enough theology and research with her personal story. So, I can't wait to find time to read more. I need to read for school for this week, but that's besides the point. 

Everyone else went to church as normal. It's a sunny crisp day and it's hard to know if I want my sweatshirt on or off. My toes are cold, but my torso isn't. Those hot flashes are crazy. I'm just praying that they are medication related and not perimenopause. I don't have all the symptoms yet. Jared's taking his nap and the kiddos are doing their screens. I let Keturah watch Narnia on Disney Plus, so we'll see if she cheats on her time. I finished up the financial aid application and now I'm going to work on why my old computer isn't working. Sigh. Just when one thing is crossed off my list, another one pops up. I suppose I should go over Justin's IEW, too, but we have a light week of outside activities again, so I'll probably look at it tomorrow. Enough thinking for one day. I did finish a TV series last night called Shetland, as in the Shetland Islands, a modern crime show. So, I guess I'll go back through and binge watch WandaVision and see if any other TV shows have any other new episodes I'm still in pain even this afternoon, but I came up with a plan to use and the migraine medication without having a withdrawal headache. I'll take 1 pill on any day that I have pulsating headache and then the next day take 1/2 of a pill and the two days after that take 1/4 pills for a total of 2 pills in one week. I don't think I need that every week, but I'll track it. I'll still take some other pain medication when we are getting close to stave off the menstrual migraine as well. And then maybe the endocrinologist and possible even a neurologist would have more insight for me.

The day ended with the usual, I take them to youth group and Abishai and Jared pick them up. I made some major progress on my Scrabble boards on my phone while I got ahead on "Across Five Aprils." I rearranged my desk a bit more so the piles are less tall, but still spread out. I mean, why not use up the whole length of the desk, right? It's kind of comforting I think, but maybe not. It's a lot of stuff. I don't need it to be clear because it's tucked away. It's the drop off spot for all the things. And that's about it. Early to bed for little guy, maybe the others. I'll take some melatonin this time before we get into bed and try to drift off quickly. I feel more at peace, so I'm glad I took the day to fully rest and catch up. Onward for the week.

Throwback picture to Benaiah 8 years ago at 10 years old! Swinging on swings at the park in the snow. There's never a bad time to go to the park, right? Or the beach! I saw friends on PEI do just that yesterday with their dog to see how the wind contorts the snow right along the shoreline. There's nothing like seeing people bundled up in their winter best on the sandy shoreline! Lol! Most people think, "Beach. Swimsuit. Warmth." Not if you are a person who lives along coastal waters of the north, lol. Like the TV show I just finished set on the Shetland Islands. The average temperatuer there in July is 58 degrees Fahrenheit! And the average low in winter is 34 degrees Fahrenheit. Wow! That's nuts! You never get to wear a short sleeved shirt. That makes sense now that I always saw the main characters in the same coat no matter what the time of year. That's crazy! So for the year, the averages is between 41 for the low and 49 for the high. Ok, maybe I don't want to live there. But I'll go visit!

Ahem. Jared was complaining about the stuff we leave on the couch and that no one can sit down. Well, I try to only leave the long Hot Wheels track in it's various pieces on the couch at all times because, ahem, if I don't, this happens! I was taking a nap at 11:30 am this morning (no judgment please) and I woke up to find this! Ahem.

And then my brother sent us photos of his brand new Mastiff puppy! Look at him! His name is Hank and he's 16 weeks old! He's already 43lbs! His kids don't know and Marie doesn't either. But my brother also now has a live in girlfriend and her dog, too. But he's adorable! I can't wait to meet him someday!

Another day. Same set of Legos. Taken apart multiple times and put back together to use as police cars and jails. Same type of story. Perhaps he'll be into crime drams like I am? Murder mysteries? But he gets so into it that he won't listen to you at all. I just love watching him play. He actually has the guys say words and acts out scenes. Maybe he'll be the next screenwriter! Who knows!

The End