Year 7, May 2nd-8th, 2022: Last Week of School/Busy Week

 Monday - Getting the Show on the Road

- mowing fight

- slow start

- never done

- confusion with kelly and kya plans

- so tired, when is it my turn to relax?

I wanted to share my Meyer Briggs score with someone on Instagram so I took their quick online assessment to quickly remind myself of what it was. I think it's fairly accurate. I know mine has probably slid a little bit, like the thinking part has slid over to a little bit more feeling side, but overall I'm still a thinker, so, if these aren't spot on, well, this test isn't worth it. Hint, these are spot on.

Irises are hard to kill. In fact, they normally procreate. I did move a couple of them around a bit. And I see, they are doing just fine on their own. I have 3 buds on there!

Boom! It's huge!

There's a couple of them hidden back there. Some come up early, and some don't do much until later in the fall.

I pruned the rose bush pretty heavily and now look at it! Yeah!

So much new growth.

I was looking for my high school transcript to show how to do a homeschool high school transcript and came across this gem. I cried because it proves how strong and focused I was back then. I stayed true to the course and had my best semester of my college career my last semester, 3.95 GPA with 18 credit hours or 6 classes! Most people only take 5 classes at a time. But I'm nuts and took 6, plus had a less than 1 yr old back home to take care of. How I had the energy, I don't know. I did sleep more actually back then. Sigh. I cried when I saw this today. I really do have a brain. I'm very intelligent. And educated. I just lack social skills, which is extremely common. And it's ok. It's normal But it also frustrates me when others insult my intelligence. I can follow a train of thought. I can think critically on a topic for hours and days and months. And I've retained and applied some of the key concepts throughout my adulthood. I have not wasted my degree one bit. Kiddos, Mommy has a rational brain. She actually knows something.And she needs to be treated like the intelligent human being that I am. So stop screeching at her. Just stop. I don't deserve it.

I won't share with you all what Jared got as his final cumulative GPA. It's embarrassing. If he only applied himself he could have gotten a 4.0. I really think he could have done it. He just didn't want to. He didn't have any motivation to. He wasn't paying for it. His parents didn't even have to make huge sacrifices for it because they had planned well for it. I had to pay for all of mine, and I did it by getting good grades and was awarded all the scholarships one can imagine. I received a private education from top Indiana schools for less than $30,000 in debt. Jared had no debt. We were very blessed. And then when my dad died, we used that residual money to pay off the rest of my loans, just like he wanted the funds to be used. And my parents actually did fly out and was there for my graduation. That was extra, extra special for my graduation. I'll never forget. I made them proud. And try to continue to make them proud. Even when I suck at being relational with anyone. Because what good does knowing academics without being able to sharing with the world? That's what I need to work on.

Tuesday - Happy Early May the 4th Be With You

- We didn't get much homework done because we were anticipating out trip to the Lego store this evening. Justin literally texted me within 30 minutes before we left for the store, "are we leaving yet?" like 10 times. He's never ready to go and here is anxious to leave like he's got ants in his pants. And then when we got to the mall, he's the first one out of the van and halfway across the parking lot. Ok Mr. Hyperfocus, I know what your "currency" is. I'll just dangle a Lego brick in front of your face from now on, sheesh.

- I've pretty much given up on school this week. I'll pick up what we didn't finish next week and tie it all up. We just have too much going on. Then we can have a big to do about it all. The following week is Jared's birthday and it's on a Wednesday so coordinating dinner with the folks and Benaiah is interesting. We can't even do Mother's Day dinner until the evening so good luck on anything else. Each year it gets harder and harder to plan things. But that's a topic I have to save for next week.  I need to shower tomorrow and clean up the house. I'll probably take Keturah and we'll grocery shop while Justin's in small group. Otherwise there's no time between now and Saturday, and we'll run out of toilet paper by then.

- Sigh. We got through another day. Not perfectly. But we got through something.

Totally me

I don't just hope it does, it actually does. Do I crash, yes, sure, but I also drink it during a certain time period during the day like it's a medication, no joke. It's definitely a good routine and a signal to my brain for all the right reasons.

This book is at least 30 years old. It's called, "How People Lived Long Ago" and I do have to update it as I read it aloud and raise my eyebrow a bit. However, Abishai and I decided this train represents our family. The engine is Daddy because he leads us. The tender care is Mommy, not because she is tender (well, I would like to be), but because she lights a fire under our butts (my words not his). Benaiah is the freight car because he's the biggest (no I wasn't just thinking about weight but in general bulk, width, tallest, stocky, etc.). Justin is the passenger car because "he likes friends." Keturah is the sleeper car because she sleeps a lot. And Abishai is the caboose because he's the "caboose baby," or end of the line. OR he's "KABOOM!!!" aka the one who farts all the time with the worst farts known to man that can level a house when his combustion engine gets going. He liked that I came up with that bit. But it's true! Whatever he's been eating lately doesn't quite settle well and he produces the worst gas I've ever smelled. And he's 7, all young boys like to call about toxic gas coming out of their rears. It sends them in giggle fits. And Abishai has the best giggle fits I've known. Kabooooooommmmm!!!!

So a judge on the Supreme Court leaked out that they are leaned towards overturning Roe v. Wade! I never thought I would live to see the day that this would happen! Basically that means the U.S. Government can no long ban state governments from completely banning abortion. Many states are already poised to do so and have in recent years reduced the reasons why abortions can happen. This is huge! But it isn't a full victory yet. It's just a leaked document. Satan is going to be on the prowl until it happens. We have to to "hit the decks" and pray for a long time that it passes and the state legislatures get their bills passed. And even then there's tons of consequences to sift through. This was the piece of news I needed to hear this week. Something very positive and exciting.

Children! Smile! May the 4th Be With You! We initiated Kya with our annual trip to the Lego store for this annual Star Wars event. Obviously it's not just a Lego event, but we do the Lego version. And, each other, the kids spend more money because they've saved more. My oh my though Abishai is looking so big! Anyways, we had a good time, everybody got something, even Kya (I gave her one of my freebies), and we got to drool over lots of new sets. The store was pretty quiet and well stocked. We spent enough to get all the freebies. We are THAT kind of VIP. This is how we roll.

Justin bought his first Ultimate Collector's Edition set, the brand new as in it just released today brand new Luke Skywalker Landspeeder. Keturah bought the Friends Treehouse she's been dying to buy for months and months. She only got to buy it because Daddy extended oodles of grace after Mommy said this was only supposed to be a Star Wars trip. And Mommy relented because I really didn't want to forget and make another trip to the Lego store next month. Then Daddy bought the the four sets from the left and the car on the right. The set in the middle was free, both poly bags were free and the beskar army keychain was free.

Another ST-AT, a beskar metal keychain, and polybag that makes some flowers that I gave to Keturah. The other set in the black box is the kitchen in the Lars homestead from Episode 4 of Star Wars. Asoka Brick Head is for Dad and I to share. We'll put the keychain with our collectibles so Justin doesn't loose it. Fun stuff! And yes, the rule was supposed to be no new Lego until shelves were built. And they haven't been built. And the Lego we have is in more disarray than before and Justin expects me to help him. I don't have time. It's your hobby, you take the time to manage it.

Wednesday - 

- We ran about 5 minutes to ASL, which isn't too bad considering I literally ate the rest of my toast on the my way out the door like they do in the movies. And the day literally didn't stop from then on. We had ASL. Then home. Then I tried to keep school going but only got a little bit more done because a momma has to eat and check email. I guess everything will just have to be finished next week, no matter who I was trying to fool that it was going to be this week. I did sneak in a shower. Then we gathered up leftovers for dinner. I sent Abishai off with Daddy for karate. Keturah and I dropped Justin off at church for small group. She and I did some grocery shopping so everyone could eat through the weekend. We thought we could pick up Justin at 7, but we couldn't so we went straight home to put everything away. Daddy and Abishai got home 2 minutes after we did. Then we sent Daddy back out. He picked up the lawn mower that has now been tuned up. Meanwhile Justin hitched a ride to McDonald's and Daddy picked him up there. And then everybody made it back home and the day was done.

- There was no time for bad attitudes. We just keep moving forward. Two cups of coffee were consumed. And now I'm about to crash. I wish I could share funny moments or quotes. But I don't have time to even observe them myself right now. It's a season of life where I'm just not going to observe it all. I did hear some nice giggle moments happen between Justin and Abishai when Justin came home from small groups. Or this morning when Justin had some wickedly funny bedhead that was 10x the size of this normal hairstyle. And Keturah did help immensely at the grocery store despite her asking for lots of sugary items. 

- I'm doing my best to ignore the dirt and disorganization in the house, but it's hard to ignore it. And I looked ahead to next week and I have an appointment every single afternoon next week. So it won't happen next week either. Sigh. At least I'll have Sabbath rest on Saturday and Sunday is Mother's Day. And I just told Jared I'm taking him to see the new Top Gun movie for his birthday. That comes out Memorial Day weekend, and so does the new Obi Wan Kenobi TV series. But first, I had to make sure we had enough food in the house to feed these creatures until a bigger grocery haul after the paycheck hits tomorrow and after the weekend when I can think more about it. One event at a time. Tomorrow is Abishai's ADHD appointment and the Michael W. Smith concert, which I've had no time to really prepare for either one. Abishai probably needs shots since it's been 3 years since he's seen the doctor. And I usually have a whole outfit picked out and have had time to get excited and all that and well, I haven't. I know when we leave. I know when we get in line. I know we will need to grab food before we get there. That's it. I do actually have to follow up with who is taking Abishai to karate class tomorrow night as well because I told Jared to figure it out and I doubt he did. Sigh. If only I could stay awake longer and didn't need to eat and go to the bathroom.

- I just hope I can make it to Saturday in one piece.

Just trying to keep our minds off of the results of yesterday's voting results. But the results were as predicted. The incumbents won by the usual large margin and the school financial referendum was voted down 2 to 1. If you are going to whine and complain that the schools need money and that we need to provide it, then you better put their talking to walking and actually show up a the pools. Otherwise, the older folks show up and they are all on fixed incomes and will never vote for higher taxes.

#accurate

11% of eligbile voters in our precinct showed up. Pitiful. We had a huge line item for the school and they all whined about it on FB for weeks. And then, they didn't take time off from work to come to the polls. How rude.

I found this on Twitter. Somebody tricked out a regular motorcycle to look like Mandalorian's speeder bike from Season 1. And there's even a little innocent Grogu on the back thee. In the short video, the driver even gives the little head nod like Mandalorian does in the show. So accurate!

There's our friends the Lulls! And how cool that the online church has reached millions! Why didn't they think of that sooner! But you know how it goes. You just do it how you do things until you can't. Then you try something new and incorporate that new information into the older. Cool!

What Abishai is studying in his Sunday School is month. We've already got the verse nearly memorized. We get the info early since Keturah and Justin are student leaders in the classroom.

The leaning tour of Pisa! How high can it go? Normal he spreads them out in this area and/or I get to them quick enough before they reach this height. But this time he decided to use vertical space instead of horizontal space. I don't have to deal with it right now. He can hang them up if he wants to or wait until I can. Challenge accepted. We'll see how high it will go.

Even Veggietales got into the action with May the 4th be with you!

Thursday - A Good One

- Abishai's doctor appointment went fine. It felt rushed, even for 9am in the morning. I am glad our doctor trusts us and didn't need to explain everything, but at the same time, I wish we had gotten some attention, too. Jared went with us and he filled out the parent sheet for ADHD and I filled out the teacher sheet for the ADHD. I think we did the same thing for Justin. And yes, Abishai has enough markers for it, but like I suspected it's all on the hyperactive side. So, the doctor put him on the same medication as Justin, just on a lower dose. We didn't even discuss alternatives. Which I guess was the whole point of going to the doctor now, because we've tried all other things. It just reminded me that I wish we had a more holistic doctor that took more time with us but also could prescribe medication, too. These doctors just look for symptoms that they can throw pharmaceuticals at. And that's what I got to mainstream doctors for. I am the one that makes the diagnosis these days. I've just accepted it. Just as long as the doctors don't argue with me, I guess I'm ok with it. I thought the doctor was also going to do an annual physical, too, since he hadn't seen Abishai in 3 days. But all he did was feel his throat, tummy, look at private parts, ears I think, maybe throat, and ask basic questions about nutrition, sleeping habits and is the home safe, secure, etc. Um, ok. Oh and up to date on immunizations, which I guess he was. He must have had the whole MMR series and all that at his 4 yr old appointment because the doctor said no more needles until he's 11. Ok, then. The funny thing is the doctor said that annual physicals are good because the doctor can catch things like a funky toe or something, but then he didn't even look at much. I don't get it at all. I know my son's physical body way more than a doctor does. But whatever. We went, we got the "official" diagnosis of ADHD from the pediatrician so others can get off our backs and we could try medication so I don't go insane. And if medication doesn't work, we'll go somewhere or try something else I suppose. 

- It was cute though when Abishai was on the table and the nurse was there. He was nervous and instead of reaching for Daddy to move over to where he was, Abishai just waved to Daddy indicated he knew Daddy was there. He was doing his own form of "checking in" making sure Daddy hadn't gone anywhere. After the doctor examined him, Abishai did warm up to him and started talking, so that was good. So that's that. 

- I was going to attempt to do school, but I needed to rest instead before the concert.

- I will blog about the concert in another post. Basically, everything went really smoothly and Kelli and I had a fantastic time. It was one of the best Michael W. Smith concerts ever because it was simple, like sitting in a living room together as a family singing the old favorites. The music wasn't as loud so I didn't get a headache. And I know Michael and Jim Daneker were enjoying themselves. It was like a 35th Anniversary tour part 2 with them playing songs they never play and spanning 4 decades. And that special piano was quite lovely. We got Gold Circle 2nd row and sat basically with Lori Ferguson and parts of the Friends Online crew for once. I didn't know Kelli knew any of the songs, but she knew most of them. It was a very encouraging and inspiring and cup filling evening. Just what the doctor ordered. And I've been in a dreamy state for days.

- Grandma took Abishai to karate so Daddy could still go to Bible study. Justin managed to have Abishai dressed on time, and Abishai managed to cook himself a hot dog before he went. Grandma treated him to Culver's fries on the way home.

Oh yes, and I ran away to my concert just as fast as I could. I needed it that badly.

Abishai said he wanted to be just like Justin and wear a beanie hat. Awww, it's a huge compliment, Big Brother, when little brother wants to be just like you! Take it! And actually, these two are very similar. And I love that! My two skinny, ADHD, picky eaters who eat tons of complex carbs, but not a lot of sugar, but with the biggest hearts for people I know. Two peas in a pod.

I wish I had that kind of blood pressure. Well done my very athletic boy.

Reaching out to Daddy for reassurance.

Pat pat, Daddy.

9 am appointments are so tiring!

Time for some Rock, Paper, Scissors!

Honolulu, Hawaii?! Why is someone calling me from here?

It's definitely a telemarketer as it's only 4:30am in Hawaii time! Yikes!

I nearly forgot to take a photo of this one in bloom this year.

Jared is trying to start some new tree shoots.

The weed eater is messed up again. This isn't my first go around with this guy. I'm so over it.

Well, I got it on there, but it still doesn't work properly. Ugh. Gotta borrow Grandma's.

I put the cover on and nope, it falls right back off. So fustrating!

Little man practicing his reading on his own. Unlock the skills of deciphering sounds and the rest figures itself out.

Ugh! I didn't need this today! Abishai wanted managed to actually overflow the toilet, not just get it up close the rim. Thankfully the leak only went a little ways and didn't hit the toilet shelf. It only affect the edge of the rug. Abishai tried to clean it up with the hand towel, so i had to clean up the sink area because he hung that back up. He had a sheepish look on his face when he told me. I'm glad he tried to clean up. But it's never fun to have to deal with this.

Can't wait to see this G-Daddy tonight!

Sold out is good! It just happens that these are very small venues, but still, better to settle for a full house and maybe a smaller venue fee than to rent out a big arena and have it only be half full. I preferred the more intimate setting. And it was at a sister church to Indian Creek!

Typical weekday afternoon. Tablet time for one.

Screentime plus her new Lego set for another.

Naptime on sister's bed for this spoiled puppy.

And, Justin started on his Ultimate Collectors' Edition build. 

 

4 1/2 hrs of building time and it's finished! Fairly easy build. But oh so nice! It's not meant to fit mini figures so the scaling is a bit a different on the Ultimate Collectors sets.

 

A Night At the Piano Playlist

 

A fellow Friend posted this on the FB fan page a couple of weeks later so this gives you a general idea of what songs he played. I think the person got it off the stage. The ones he didn't play were 6, 11, 12 (I think), 14, 15, 24, 25, and the rest of the songs. We might have had a few others that wasn't on this set list. All in all, it doesn't matter that much. And as we all know, Smitty changes the set list midstream almost every night. He even did it on the livestream the next week! So, we just all go with the flow and expect changes, including Jim Daneker, his right wing man. I think that's what keeps Michael W. Smith in the thick of the music industry, well, in my opinion, maybe he really isn't, I don't know. Michael reinvents himself all the time, flits from one thing to another, and keeps busy because he wants to, not because he has to. He takes LONG sabbaticals now and has always made time for his family. He's in high demand like Gary is. He puts new music out because it just comes to him. He has an incredible team that makes it all work. And it's ALL ministry. And NO ego. Not anymore. Maybe for a few years in the 90's. These songs span 4 decades and all kinds of topics and genres. Oh the genres. He's got worship music, pop music, instrumental, and the like. He appeals to everyone. As he now says, "If I haven't played your favorite song yet, just hold on a minute, I might get to it." Great stuff.

Here is a highlight reel of the concert. I will post a second blog entry with more details that I can share publicly with my Michael W. Smith fans after this one. It will have more photos, too. We were in 2nd row, pretty close to the stage, so it felt very intimate, like you were in a family room together just hanging out. It was incredible! And far from the big arena pop/rock stage days. It was beautiful!

Just casually walk on stage with no fanfare.

Sit down and play inviting the audience to sing a praise song.

Have your best bud join you for 3/4 of the songs so he can add in 3/4 of the rest of the instruments.

Sing that one song that your best bud requested that you wrote with the highest tenor note you could reach....20 years ago!

Photo of best bud, Jim Daneker, aka The Silver Fox (he's gone all gray over the winter).

"Cry for Hope" aka song for Ukraine. I wanted a photo without the devastation or a video of him playing the song, but then they started to play this video behind him, so I didn't continue. I just listened instead.

A nice photo of the restored electrified piano used in the A New Hallelujah live cd and DVD.

The most perfect photo you can get from the 2nd row with an iPhone 11.

Playing "Awesome God"

Clenching that last note and drum beat of "Awesome God."

Thanking everyone and waving good bye. "I know you, and you, and you."

While Kellie (who I went with) got sidetracked (as normal), I saw something very familiar! The outline of New England! Restoration House Ministries to be exact! Wahoo! Yeah for being at a church within our independent church network and knowing that people still care about the northeast! Plus I was wearing my New Hampshire necklace, too! I usually wear something symbolic of my mom to Michael W. Smith concerts she was the one who took me to my first one.

And look-e-here. The baby bottle campaign! Aren't you a sight for sore eyes! I haven't seen these in about 12 years! It's where you hand them out on Mother's Day and collect them on Father's Day and in between you fill them with your loose change for your local crisis pregnancy centers. Don't have loose change? Write a check! The Creek stopped doing them long ago.  And it's always bothered me that they stopped doing that and the Baby Shower for Jesus. They barely advertise for MOPS anymore, which also went hand in hand with stuff like this because it was about Mothers of Preschoolers. I guess abortion became too politicized for Indian Creek or whoever was doing it left the Creek or something. But it should be one of those things we should never stop doing. It should always be one of the top things we talk about. Pro-family includes pro-heterosexual marriage and pro-life. There should never be a question as to where a church stands on the issue because these days, some churches actually don't aren't pro-life or pro-heterosexual marriage. The church should be black and white on the issues, not just love everybody. There should be a balance between love and morals.

Throwing these in again because there were several times during the concert I just wanted to walk up there and hug him. I really want one more photo like this before it's his time to enter Glory. From 1998. (I was 17, he had just turned 41, the age I'm turning THIS year! He turned 64 last October.)

From 2010 or 2011 I think. (I was 30ish and he was 54ish.)

Friday - A Bit of Chaos

- I first had to get the teens up for Bible class. Those started at 10 with Keturah up first, then Justin at 10:30 and Abishai at 11. The children were very grumpy and snappy. Whatever. If you were in college and your class starts at 8, you'd never make it. I still had bits and pieces to put together for this evening's event and I just didn't want to engage with the nasty attitude after a wonderful evening. Sigh, but yes, I needed it.

- I also had to go to Jared's doctor appointment with his spine surgeon. He didn't think I would want to go but he thanked me for caring enough to want to go. Well, I had my own motives and questions to ask, but yes, it's because I care. I never expect him to go to mine because he needs to work. And I don't always go to his. But I wanted to ask this spine surgeon to be clear on what Jared can and cannot and I needed to hear it for myself. And what we found out is that yes, Jared can stretch, but he cannot do any exercises requiring him to twist his torso and no high impact cardio. He can bend carefully in a stretch and he needs to. And he can do core strengthening moves like planks which the doctor did say he should be doing. When I heard Jared explain his symptoms and then rate his pain at a 2, again, I just shook my head. Oh so much milder than mine. He is afraid of collapsing again, I get it. It is scary. But not every shooting nerve pain means it's going to happen. I get them all the time. I have lots of muscle knots that cause them. I can never be free of them and I always have pain.  But anyway, on Jared's request, the doctor ordered an MRI. Then we can conform or deny Jared's theory that it's the left nerve that is bothering him. He just needs to experiment more at home and rely less on doctor's orders and more on common sense. That's my opinion after dealing with doctors all my life. But for now, I'll just keep my eyes and ears out for exercise routines for spinal surgery patients. We'll see.

- And then it was a mad dash home to grab a bite to eat before grabbing Kya, who arrived just as we did, and Justin and grab my stuff to go to the homeschooling high school event I was representing IAHE at way out in Crawsfordsville. That left Keturah and Abishai home alone but I got Grandma to come over after she came home from her dinner out with a friend. I feel bad that I've been gone so much, but it does happen sometimes. I'll make it up to them. And we will need to tie up loose strings with school next week. It wasn't exactly the happy ending of school that I wanted. But that's ok. We can have a do over.

- The homeschooling high schooling event was interesting. Well, first of all, driving was fine. The traffic was a bit slow in places, but Jared didn't comment too much on bad drivers so we managed. We did have to stop for gas and Justin got some subway. We brought Kya along as a companion for Justin and because I was hoping that Justin and Kya would both listen to the material presented and the three major opportunities offered there, Apprentice University, ABC Prep Academy, and Ivy Tech. I don't think I accomplished that goal, but, at least they got to have their normal Friday hang out time. We got home really late, I think close to 11, after we dropped off Kya, and both Justin and Kya fell asleep in the car, lol. And of course Keturah and Abishai were also asleep when we were got home. Aww.

- The event was basically a panel of 6 veteran homeschool moms and two recent homeschool grads. I thought I was going to be included in that panel, but I was just a "rep." So I was disappointed at first, but then was relieved because I was tired. I listened to the whole thing which was basically the host reading some questions that the group had already sent to her and the panel answering them. The questions were pretty basic about transcripts, extracurriculars, graduation requirements, college, etc. The moms handled the questions well and correctly. Some emphasized making sure you send your kids off into the world with what you really want them to have, like a desire to serve God. Some sounded like they emphasized academics first and foremost and paid for high end online or in person classes. Some must have driven their kids all around town to do volunteer work. Those that had adult kids that had graduated from college already had kids with degrees in high level work. And I was all fine with it, until I was not.

- It had been almost 2 hrs. And, they didn't leave much time for answers from the audience. Or for mingling afterwards. They had stuck all 4 of us into a hallway which wasn't great either. And everybody just wanted to go home after a long day at work/play/school and then sitting for 2 hrs. So, we only had half a dozen families briefly come up to the table. It was sad, really. We had come out all that way, didn't get much of a time to speak (we got to talk for 2 minutes to introduce ourselves personally and as repping our organizations). Jared and I had driven out to Shelbyville for that appointment this morning, after he had gotten up at 5:30am for his usual Friday morning coffee with the guys. And here it was 9pm and we still had to get Kya home. It kind of sucked. And then I was starting to feel the mom guilt.

- Well, the jealousy of why my kids' transcripts won't have that many volunteer hours on it or tons of college credit while they are high schoolers. And that they aren't choosing to go to college at all. It feels very unfair that I have academically bright children and they are just wasting it on video games and lazing around. And I started to blame myself for not putting it together for them, signing them for classes, taking them everywhere to volunteer, for being tired, lazy, and sick. Why don't I have what I dreamed of? Where did I go wrong? I told Jared this on the way home because hopefully now he heard for himself what I hear all the time about what other homeschool grads have done, which is similar to what I've done. The academic and social prowess, a head above the rest, and how seeing our children be average joes, lazier than ever, has an impact on my mental health. I pour into our kids, and I know that homeschooling works because look at everyone else's results. So why is it that my kids look like public school kids, bratty privileged white suburbia kids who are selfish and mean? I was pretty upset by the time I got home. I felt like I didn't need to be there at the event because I didn't answer any questions and I felt inferior to these veteran moms because they actually succeeded at doing something I haven't succeeded at yet, in my own mind. I succeeded somewhat in my overall goals, but not in my higher expectations I really longed for, the personal goals that I had set for myself back in the day. The goals I know my kids could achieve, too, if they wanted to. Benaiah might, I hope, if he sticks with it now. I don't know. 

#truth Ask my kids!

Our attendance logs are done! But we have bits and pieces to finish up next week.

This event's setup was quite different because I was focusing just on homeschooling high school.

I had less magazines to give out because lots of people took them last time, but still had plenty of everything else.

New to the display was the transcript service sample and information about IAHE internships.

I also had some samples of homeschooled high schoolers (or almost high schoolers) with me.

Not sure how helpful they were but they made a nice prop, lol.

Yup

Saturday - Graduation 

- How do I feel about seeing other parent's kid's graduation pictures? Same thing as Friday. Jealous. Jealous that I've created non traditional kids. I mean, I wanted them to be different I guess, maybe. I wanted them to be really smart, but not so different that they didn't want to go to college. I wanted them to follow in my footsteps. And they won't. And it makes me sad. And now these other kids are done and graduating. Benaiah should be halfway through college now. He's only got one semester in. Will I ever get to be that parent? Will Keturah let me stand by her and her shiny truck when she gets her CDL license? What about Justin? Would a certification of some kind be just as important as a college degree with cap and gown? Or will it be forgotten because farmers and construction workers are known to be not as smart as white collared people. Except they make way more money than you're newly graduated business people. So, in the long run, I guess it's just one day you have to deal with those photos and down the road, who is going to be able to give away more money to charity? The construction manager. It just makes me sad for a bit today.

- Meanwhile, I've just been pretty melancholy since Thursday. I don't want to reengage with the world. I keep singing the songs Michael sang because a lot of them were my favorites. And then I fell into a trance watching his gorgeous hands play. I get so jealous of his talent. His gift is so awesome! And I can't stop thinking about it. Nothing else seems to matter. I don't want to watch any other videos on any other topic. I don't want to write this blog about any other topic. I don't want to go do any house projects. I just want to listen to music and lay down and be 16 and be lazy like my children. Let them e the adults.

- And they had to be adults today because Jared made them cut the grass and work on getting the stump in the corner out of the ground. They complained some, yes, and our trimmer broke again. But Keturah was able to finish mowing because Jared had gotten the blades sharpened. Timing was running out so Justin used the ride on mower at Grandpa's house and left he other parts for Keturah so she could earn money, too, which was kind of him to do. Well, she yelled at him about it and said she wasn't going to do it. We made her do it after dinner time. I spent time outside by thoroughly brushing the dog. At one point, Socks was so relaxed that he nearly fell asleep!

This is the life of someone living with ADHD. It's a constant mess in there, too.

I reposted this on Facebook and got a little conversation going about how the medical field defines certain procedures. They basically label everything as abortion, including miscarriage (even if it's natural), d&c (even if the baby has already passed away of natural causes, because actual removal process is technically the same), and there were others. It was interesting because there does need to be better definitions between the laws outside of the medical field and then within the medical community on the patients' charts so that nothing illegal happens. But I think that the medical field has purposefully put all these different procedures and scenarios down as abortions in order to convince lawmakers that abortion (for convenience) can also be still allowed. It's a bait and switch. But I still hold true to this statement. Because we would really reduce the need for abortion services in general if we weren't an hyper sexualized culture (unique to 1st world countries), and when it does happen, that we would follow through with the consequences and choose adoption or parenthood and not be so selfish.

Absolutely, although, these 3D scans are only good for arguing against late term abortions, which are illegal in most states.

Another Saturday, another Lego set.

A bazillion more bamboo shoots! I knew there were a ton of buds on the runners when I was cleaning out the weeds.

Jared had the kids chop up the leftover stump after he burned it down last weekend. It was hard work, and mostly Justin and Jared worked on it while Keturah went off to mow. They put it in the trash can because it had been full of termites and the plant that was taking over other parts of the yard that we didn't want to keep growing. I don't think we are supposed to do that, but whatever.

Put your back into it!

I was brushing Mr. Floof and I think I put him to sleep. Whoops.

It's getting there. With all the overgrowth from last year, it had been about 5 ft high and 5 ft wide. I'm sure it would be easier to pay someone to dig out the stump with one of those chopper things, but we'd have to move the fence and yes, it costs money. We have free child labor instead. Isn't that what you raise children for? No? Oh, right, you raise them to send them out to do good things for other people. I forgot.

Perfect Saturday playtime.

I carry it my big self.

Abishai wanted to switch out toy boxes, so he did. Paw Patrol for Micro Machines. Yes, from the '80's and '90's.

That's me and all the moms!

Interesting analogy, husband.

And you wonder why I'm overwhelmed so easily. This is why.

Oh husband who has a death wish. Sometimes he's over protective of himself. And sometimes he's just plain dumb. This is one of those moments where dudes are just plain dumb and that's why women live longer. Jared put probably half a gallon of regular gas on the huge and very dry stick pile and then put lighter fluid leading to it and around. Then he lights the thing with a BLOW TORCH. I was IN the sun room. All I hear is this humongous WHOOSH! I run outside to see Abishai all buggy eyed and Jared taken aback with a smear of black across his tshirt. And I ask what happened. Then he tells me. Then he SHOWS ME. He literally singed the HAIR off his left ARM! Yes, all the way down to the SKIN! I haven't gotten a photo of it because he won't let me. But let me tell you, it's like he shaved off the skin on his forearm. Not only that, but he singed his eyebrow and his eyelashes!!! Now, how many times have I told that man NOT to use lighter fluid or gas on these kinds of fires?! Oh my word! And I looked over and two houses to our north, the neighbors are out just staring at us. I was afraid they were going to call the fire department. It's a good thing Jared had the hose on and ready because what a mess! I can't imagine what Abishai thought seeing the fireball and Daddy so close to it! Well, if it deters Abishai from playing with fire, GOOD! Sometimes, I wonder about what goes on in my husband's head! Almost 43 years old and he's STILL doing stupid stuff like this. Don't play with FIRE!

Sunday - Mother's Day 2022

- Jared asked if I would go with him to church, so I did. I did wake up with a headache and it turned into a migraine. The music was really loud at church, too. So that didn't help it. Gary preached on simplicity. Basic stuff. Lots of those memory tool helps. It went too fast and I was sleepy so I couldn't get everything written down. Oh well. He did go long though, lol. Poor tech team. They don't know what to do with themselves when these preachers don't stick to the script, lol. And then all the nursery workers are left wondering, too. Oh well, that's how it goes. I thought Gary had too many memory tools, fumbled a bit, and exaggerated a bit too much. Like he felt "loud" or that he was overcompensating. I've seen it in his personal life, too. I don't know if it's because his hearing is going or he's making up for not remembering things or what. But yeah, he needs to calm down. Too much animation, buggy eyes, and actual volume. A bit scary to me, actually. Intense might be a good word. Just like he was getting intense with Abishai on Friday about not knowing the books of the Bible. He was very stern and I don't think he was that stern with the others. I don't remember telling him to just move on to another verse because it was making me upset. At least he did mention simplicity of schedule, although he didn't elaborate. He emphasized do not worry and do not have too much stuff, yeah, thanks, you're talking straight at me aren't you? Probably not. He doesn't even know me, so how can he? And now we have to spend Mother's Day dinner with them when he has to do a funeral something at 2pm on Mother's Day. Talk about keeping your schedule simple. After he literally walked off a plane at like 11pm last night after being gone for 8 days to Minnesota. Simple schedule my rear end. I wait for the day that he actually truly practices what he preaches. Sigh.

- Keturah and I came home after 1st service and the boys stayed to do their things. Jared brought McDonald's home for lunch because we are having a big deal dinner with grandparents this evening. I had a migraine so I spent the afternoon nursing that. And I worked on the blog here.

- Then we went over to Gary and Leah's for dinner with them and Benaiah. We had pork steak and baked potatoes will all the toppings, fruit salad and some raw and creamed vegetables. For dessert we had strawberry rhubarb crumble, with the rhubarb coming from Granny Annie's! Yum! Dinner conversation was normal and pleasant. Benaiah talked about his upcoming trip to Dallas of course. And he got his grades back. The highest he got was 98% in his Finite Math class and his lowest was 79% in his Business Administration class because the teacher was horrible. I think he said his GPA was something like 3.3 or so. Not bad for his 1st semester of college, eh?! While working full time, and taking a full load of classes, so 5 classes. That's my boy! He can do well when he applies himself and he has. He is just running his life slightly differently than I had thought it would go. But, it's going quite smoothly really. And he signed up to take Macroeconomics as a summer course. Good luck with that. He'll whiz through school in no time. He could take those longer lunch times at work and just sit in the truck and study. He might switch to a desk job again though. Who knows. He's good at anything he tries. So wind him up and set him loose I guess.

- But I wish he would also remember to turn around sometimes and say thank you, Mom, especially on Mother's Day. He left to go see a movie by himself. Just because he could. He didn't help Grandma with clean up or wish me a Happy Mother's Day. Sigh. It stinks when he and his siblings don't say it and when I try to remind them, they lash back at me, so I don't say it. Jared reminded Abishai today, and Abishai did make a card in Sunday School to give to me. And he just found a heart shaped maple tree "helicopter" and gave it to me. So there's hope. And Jared has been very tender with me today as well. So I'm grateful for that. Jared even said a wonderful prayer at dinner tonight, and volunteered to say prayer instead of his dad doing it. So, that's cool. And of course we talked about his pyrotechnics yesterday and him burning off his arm hair and eyelashes and eye brows. That's going to be itchy as it grows back. Nuts. 

- I nearly broke down when Jared dared to mention that Keturah needed to mow again tomorrow (Monday). No she does not. She never 100% finished either yard. Again, because now one trimmer doesn't work at all and the other trimmer runs out of battery really quickly. So, that's it. I'm calling it quits. I have other things to do with my kids. These men can hire them for Friday and Saturday work only. They will have to take care of their own yard work on other days. Do what you want over the weekend. And if you have equipment failure, that's not problem. The boss has to make sure the equipment is maintained before giving it to the employee to use. There's more to life than the grass. I have other things for the kids to do. Enough is enough. Mention the word "mowing" again in my presence and I will punch you into next week. No more. Just no more. Whatever doesn't get done, doesn't get done. Period.

- Ugh. I'm exhausted. I'm going to try to finish up the journaling of all the photos I uploaded this afternoon before Jared is available to watch Hawkeye and such. I've got some get some better sleep because I've got a full week of appointments again this week and I want to finish up the school year well which includes having me and the kids available at the same time. Sigh. The sermon today was on simplicity and yet we are in the most complicated time of our lives schedule wise. You try to cut something out. It's not easy. The sermon was not necessary one for me. It's stuff I think about all the time. But not tonight. I'm too tired and I'm nodding off and it's only 8:30pm.

- Jared's random photos he sent me because I don't have many for today. Although we all went to Indian Creek, it's currently under repairs and I didn't know where Benaiah was and I didn't want to try to gather everybody up for a photo op anyway. And then Benaiah left to see a movie and we didn't get one at dinner either. I'm not a fan of Mother's Day anyway. Jared has a new iPhone 13 I believe, so he's got some great pics.

Frog in our culvert.

Growth on one of the new trees.

Abishai selfie trying to touch his tongue to his nose.

Hugging Mike's dad's old car.

Brand new this year bamboo shoots.

New Lego sets from Star Wars Day

My car is just about to turn over to 130,000 miles!

My irises are exploding again! And I just split them up last fall!

Well, before we had cell phones, AIM was Jared and I's way of chatting so we didn't have huge phone bills. We even typed "yes" and "no" so fast we would lock it up! My original name was hhskol1 because when we first got emails, it was under my dad's account, which he got under a school discount, so he called it hhskol for himself, as in Howell Homeschool only the ch was k. Then I was the number 1, my next sister was number 2, then the next sister was number 3 and my brother was number 4. My mom was cqworks which stood for Country Quiltworks which was her original business name from way back when they first married all the way through until she died. She used to make all kinds of stuff and sell at craft fairs and had booth space at a retail shop. So, my AIM name was hhskol1 and Jared's was herodytus. Actually, I take that back, I think I had hhskol1 but I also had liljohnson for a time as well after we were secretly engaged after 7 months of dating. I don't know. I've had several different names with different email endings over the years. So when Facebook came along and Facebook messenger and regular texting, I was already a pro at it. I've been on the internet since it was first put into regular households. My dad was a computer programmer. We had dial-up. We had the Atari. What can I say?

Lilacs! Of course! The lilacs were in bloom at my Mom's funeral!

Grandma used her special little egg baskets to put some leftover peeps in to decorate the table for Mother's Day. This one was the only one who willingly acknowledged the day and gave me a card he made in Sunday School and gave me hugs and kisses.

He had Grandpa's/Dad's hat on while riding the rocking horse this week and he truly looked like Indiana Jones riding a horse. It was adorable. But then he was in a mood and wouldn't recreate the photo. Sigh.

Pretty blooms.

Look, Mom! I found a heart! Daddy told me to show you! It's "helicopter" aka maple seed season. Man do I wish I could keep these out of the flower bed because I'm constantly weeding them out!

Leah said she found these among her mom's things and since they are of Jared when he was little, she gave them to me. Yes, that's curly haired Jared. That's where Benaiah's waves come from. So these pics are circa 1980/1981. Gary and Leah would have been in their YOUNG 20's before Aaron came along. And they were living in married student housing at Lincoln Christian College in Lincoln, Illinois at the time. I'm guessing based on the approximate date and knowing the family history, which, I know just as well as my own it feels like at times. Jared sometimes doesn't even know what I know but his family, lol. But that hair! Oh that hair! Scrumptious!