The J6 Journey: Year 4, June 4th-6th, 2019: Benaiah's Birthday Week

Today, Tuesday, June 4th, at 12:07 or 0007 (triple O 7 as we call it) Benaiah turned 17 years old! How can that be?! In the span of just a few months, he's gotten a girlfriend, gotten his drivers' license, finished his junior year of high school (11th), and is working full time at Chick Fil A (up to 48 hrs a week at a great pay rate!). He also paid for his first vehicle, and half of his tuition at school. He took his first round of SAT and ACT tests but didn't do well so he will take them again. He led his juniors class in putting together a great prom. And now, he's been elected SCHOOL STUDENT PRESIDENT. Yes, he is student president of the whole school! It maybe be on average 72 students in grades 6th-12th grade, but he gets to be President, like his papa. How fun! He has enough classes in that he will technically only need 4 classes next semester, so he's planning keeping up the pace with CFA. And of course there's the usual church stuff like youth group, tech team, and drumming. And the girlfriend, and the best friend, and filling in the big shoes left by the last two classes of senior. No pressure, buddy, no pressure. He still has some maturing to do, but it's well on his way. But 17?! Lots of milestones happen the first few years of life and lots of milestones happen quickly between 16-18 yrs old. Eek! Happy 17th birthday, son!

So to commerate this day, he, Justin, and Keturah had their immunizations updated. Their immunizations had been overlooked for the last three years, again, just like they were after we went to Canada and I didn't realize it until Abishai was born and needed them. Whoops. So now everyone is caught up again. Yeah! Justin and Benaiah also had annual exams. Benaiah weighs 258 lbs, and is 5 ft 9 inches. His blood pressure is ok, but since he is overweight, they drew some basic labs to see where he lands right now. They were testing for thinks like blood sugars and cholesterol. Both boys answered very accurately about what they eat, how much they exercise, and how much screen time they have. We did decline the HPV or guardisil vaccine for now, not on moral reasons, but more on scientific reasons. It's supposed to help the HPV not turn into certain cancers like uterine cancer, vulvarian cancer (which my mom had), genital warts, etc. SO, it does have to do with being sexually active. And you can have HPV without having symptoms or problems or it can crop up later. So, the jury is out on it. They can always get it before the age of 26 if they want to. Anyway, they all had other things like meningtis, Tdap, mmr for Keturah, and hepatitis A. They were very brave, and conversed with the doctor and nurses just fine. Abishai was glad it wasn't his turn for shots or to see the doctor. We did his annual and shots in February. And he let everyone know he was happy about it.

Then it was off to Taco Bell for Taco Tuesday for the middle schoolers. That would be for just Keturah now, but because Justin still has friends in middle school and he loves the youth leaders, he joined them, and Benaiah went to supervise those two while I was at CFA with Abishai. Yes, his CFA next door. The one that he would be at 3 1/2 hrs later to work a full shift. And yes, several people called him by name when he came back to CFA halfway through the Taco Tuesday. Taco Tuesday is just a chance for the middle schoolers to hang out with their leaders and friends during the summer months. I can't eat at Taco Bell and I didn't want to take up extra seats, so CFA it was. It was strange though because I let Abishai go to the indoor play area by himself and I'm used to a helper being with me to go with him, namely Keturah. I wanted to eat, and couldn't eat in there, so yes, I did let him go by himself. I know he behaves fairly well, and I could see him most of the time through the window although I was at a table further away than I would have liked. He did great! He took his shoes and socks off and stored them in a cubbie. He introduced himself to some moms and dads and kids. He made friends with two girls, one with a blue shirt and one with a green shirt. I didn't see any moms having to break up fights or see any crying kids come out of the playground. I did have Benaiah check on him when he joined us though. All in all, Abishai is just so mature for his age! In fact, when we went into CFA he said he would order his own food! And that's what he did! I bet if I handed him some money, he could complete his order all by himself! And then he said, "I go get my yellow mustard all by myself mom. You stay here with the drinks." Don't worry, I went with him. He moved the mint bucket, got his yellow mustard, and then put the mint bucket back. And when we sat down at a 4 person table, he insisted I sit with him on the bench seat. Oh, and when he came out of the playground, he had put his shoes and socks on all by himself! Ah! I can even stand it! He's just a little man!

Then it was time to collect the others from Taco Bell and head home. Then Benaiah and I left to join Jared at Benaiah's school for his end of year meeting with the principal. They do that with every student. The principal is pretty much the guidance counselor, too, so no worries. We brought up good things and concerns for the past year and for next year. We nodded our heads and understood that Benaiah's classmates are sometimes hard to deal with. And then we decided to withdraw Keturah from the 6th grade list and keep her home. Her overall willingness to do work has improved and what she really needs is companionship, not a structured school system. So we will continue to work on making friendships from church a priority. She actually named off probably 12 other girls that were in her group in the 5th grade that have continued onto into the 6th grade. One of their leaders also moved up with them, and she is Keturah's favorite. And although we are still her primary influence, having the church partner with us and having others Keturah can listen to and learn from is going to be huge. She was so exited to go to middle school Crave worship service on Sunday and she is so excited to go to CIY Mix, too. Within all the youth group activities, they really focus on the small groups becoming your core group of friends for grades 6-12. They break them up by grade and gender of course. Benaiah does like the guys in his D group, and Justin, too has broken out of his shell and gotten to know more 8th grade, now 9th grade boys rather than hanging out with the younger ones. So I see a lot of relational growth with all 4 kids, especially since Abishai can tell us who he has played with and what he has played. It takes more planning and effort sometimes, but at the same time, church activities is really the only thing we do. There's more than enough there to do! But now, I just have to put boundaries on how I am involved in coordinating everything and transportation. I can't clean house and declutter if I'm never home or don't have large chunks of time to work on things uninterrupted. So, we'll be working on that.

For example, I don't mind if other parents drop off their kids here or they take my kids to their house, or Jared takes the kids to others' homes. I just can't do the transporting. And I make sure the parents know that I appreciate it. And most of the time, they do offer to do that for me because they know me and that I have limitations. So Sunday I voluntarily did the driving and paid mentally for it. And today, I felt the same way. I carpooled with Jared to the meeting with Benaiah's principal just so we could talk. We talked about a lot of good things and afterwards he bought me a plain Starbucks coffee for the ride home. I can't remember when he's ever done that in our 20 years of being together! We had had a late night the night before and an early morning. I've been pushing myself too hard, staying up too late, and then changes in medication has me all over the place mentally and emotionally. So, although I had a fully caffeinated Starbucks drink, I still fell asleep within an hr of being home. That's just not right. But I think I'm now caught up on the blog, and tomorrow, which will be a home day and rainy, I'll be able to catch up on some other things. Thursday we all have dentist appointments. Fun times!

Ava posted to Instagram before I did! Benaiah has the best girlfriend ever! She's planning a lot of extra surprises on his day off on Wednesday.

Abishai sang Happy Birthday to Benaiah and gave him a brief snuggle. Because of the crazy day, we didn't do anything to really celebrate Benaiah's birthday. He has to work most of the afternoon and evening.

Getting their annual visits done and catching up on immunizations.

He insisted I sit next to him on the bench side of the table. Cutie.

Yup, we live here, or rather he lives here. Even when he's not in uniform, he sometimes shows up here. He did see a team leader he needed to set an appointment with though, so that was good.

The fun things you find in the church parking lot!

Pretty flowers at the parents' house.

Playing Luke (Daddy) and Dark (Darth) Vader (Abishai). Abishai would die and the regenerate. And no, Mommy could only watch, she couldn't play.

Dark Vader died.

Oh, and Jared took Justin for an actual full on run around the block. Justin came back barely huffing and Jared pretty much collapsed. Eek. You aren't 16 anymore, honey. You can't just get up the day of the mini marathon and run it with your dad anymore. Justin wants to get fit and trim so he can keep up with the other boys at CIY. I guess most of his friends are athletic. Benaiah didn't seem to have friends like that. To each his own. Justin was 100 lbs and 5 ft 2 in at his appointment, very proportionate and in the middle of the height/weight charts. Benaiah was very much over the weight chart and in the middle of the height chart. Hm,....I'm glad Justin is showing some initiative. He even downloaded a 30 day routine fitness app to keep track! Smart! And then he comes in to give me his phone like he does every night and says, "I can exercise, woot!" Yes, you've always been more active and totally opposite of your big brother. just like Jared and Aaron are. Just like me and my sister Kristina are. Total opposites. Sigh.

Wednesday started out like every other day, like this:

A crying screaming preschooler who just wants to go to work with Daddy.

But within a few minutes, he's out there doing this:

"Hey, Mom, watch me do my tricks!" As I sip my tea on my patio chair, drinking in the cooler summer morning air.

An hour or two later, big brother is up and out the door to summer school:

He's taking health and PE just to get it out of the way AND probably because his girlfriend is also in the same class with their friends.

It's so nice that he can drive himself! He went out to lunch with his friends, but asked for money first because he's broke until payday tomorrow. Ok, fine, just this ONE time. Then we are DONE handing money over to you, buddy. I can feed us on $2 per person per meal. Any fast food restaurant costs at least $5-$10 per person per meal. Do the math. Plus, his test results came back from the lab and his liver enzymes and cholesterol are elevated. We are not surprised, nor are we panicked. We all agree to keep tweaking our diets and exercise more. Jared even goes on a run around the block with Justin but comes home severely winded and has to lay down. Justin isn't even huffing and puffing.

Jared severely trimmed the rose bush last year and no buds formed. Check it out this year!

Still a bit overgrown, but I'm not sure what else to really trim or get rid of. The bushes need shaping I think. But I want to leave the strawberries for the bunnies. I pulled dandelions and the prickly weeds. There's one more kind that I think is a weed but I'm waiting to see what flower it is first. I did pull some strawberry plants away from the irises though just so they wouldn't soak up all the good nutrients. I still haven't put down the black matting stuff nor dirt and mulch. But at least it's not all grass and the edges are trimmed.

I have a hard time cutting down nature's "weeds."

Purple and white flowers next to a nice patch of strawberries, ready for the bunnies!

Bryce came over again because his grandmother passed away and his mom and aunt need to take care of funeral arrangements. Caroylyn Giyer, his grandmother, declined very rapidly. But she is now with her twin sister singing duets together again for Jesus. They sang as the Kelso twins in the 1990's at many churches. Angie, her daughter, said that Carolyn took her last breathe as she heard a clip of her sister's voice on a video slideshow put together when her sister died. Wow. God's timing is perfect. The kids have been very good at playing more than just video games.

Facebook showed me how cute Abishai was at 6 months old! Awwww.....then we watched many videos of him when he was little and he laughed and laughed at himself!

After laying down for an hour, I called and texted Benaiah to see where he was because it was 2 pm. He said, Mom, I'm outside on the lawn. We've been here for an hour! Um, whoops!

The monkey swinging from the tree!

Abishai decided to troll Ava and Benaiah. But Ava was the only one who would get up and chase Abishai. Benaiah was lazy and said, "She's independent, she can defend herself!' Oh dude, of course women are independent and can (sometimes) defend themselves), but it makes us feel so much better when a real man does for us!

Even Socks came outside to make sure the kiddos stopped cuddling.

Life is more fun with siblings, isn't it? So we had both Ava and Bryce there at the same time. A house full of extra kids is a great thing!

Ava had to leave at 4:30 for a babysitting gig, and then Jared took Benaiah, Justin, Bryce, Ethan, Kaylin, AND Conner to their mid week 4th meal thing at Culver's/Sonic in Greenwood. Well, that's approximately 1,300 lbs added to the van's weight and Jared said the van was barely chugging along. Ok, not barely, but it was definitely stressed. Poor old van. At least Jared put on his "grin and bear it" smile and took them. It's great when WE can give someone a ride or host a friend since so many parents have helped us over the years.

After missing my chiropractor appointment on Monday because I totally spaced it (I was in a really, really overwhelmed and bad mood), I rescheduled it for Wednesday. Since everyone had eaten up all the bread and drank all the milk, I went to Aldi's for the third time in 4 days, back at the Washington St. location. I was really hoping that this wagon was still there because it was the only one there and they had none at the other store. And it was! I got a wagon smiliar to a $100 priced one on Amazon for $40! This is one of those things where I say to myself, "Ok, now, I won't buy it today because it's an impulse buy but if it's here again next time, and I still want it, I will." Well, I should have just bought it on the earlier trip because I had seen it in the ad and was purposefully looking for it. I have wanted one of these I think since they had them last year. And since we don't have a stroller with a basket, I know this will come in really handy. And God said, "Yup, I saved it for you, take it." I also spent way less last week than I normally do on groceries, so that helps. It holds up to 150lbs so I can technically put both Keturah/Justin and Abishai in it. It's foldable, too. Abishai was very, very excited about it! Eeek! I have a wagon! My back thanks me!

Makes a nice bed, doesn't it? Silly goose!

Special delivery!

Justin wants to be fit and trim like his peers and Bryce is starting to play sports, so they both are all about the exercise and working out and eating right. Right on!

I almost had Abishai settled but then thought that he might like to help put the boys' beds together. They werne't home until after he was asleep. And he did! He got Justin's pillow and blanket down from his bed and Benaiah's blanket and pillow from his bed. He moved the cushions off of the couch and then helped me unfold it. Awww....

Abishai said, "Mom, I'll pretend to sleep and you take a picture of me and you." Awww, he likes sleeping selfies!

But a few minutes after that, he was really asleep with his little baby hand on my shoulder and his knee over my hip. He might be a big boy in so many ways, but we will do this as long as he allows. Usually it's Daddy's special time with him, but Daddy was taking care of the big ones. First comes a story, and he knew where they had left off in the Superman/Batman book. He even told me all the names of the good and bad guys! Then comes a simple prayer. When I asked him what comes next he said, "Then we giggle!" Oh yes you do because I usually hear it on the other side of the house! So we tickled and giggled! Best...giggle...ever.

Did you know that babies make great blankets? His little preschooler hand is so warm! So precious!

Bryce stayed over on Wednesday night, and then through Thursday afternoon, so, he came along with us to the dentist because we had our 6 month cleanings. No big deal. Just like Nora and Everly just came along with us in November and December, I'll just take whoever is with us at the time wherever we need to go. There's no need to completely upset our schedule or change appointment times because of somewhat emergencies. We do all kinds of things together as a family, so why not drag the kids we consider family along with us, eh? I don't know if some of you find that strange, but I don't. It's living in community. And it's something easy I can do because friends keep my kids busy and most of them are low maintenance/independent and all are very obedient. My kids have chosen friends well. After all these years of being helped, it's nice to be to the one helping. But, after the long van ride there and back and sitting there for 1 1/2 hrs waiting for everyone's teeth to be cleaned, I insisted that everyone go outside despite the increasing temperatures and move their bodies. They were very, very stir crazy on the way home. Too much screen time, despite taking breaks from them. So, they did and everyone is more at peace.

And I finally had a 40 minute nap! Oh I'm still so exhausted! I did get into bed more "on time" the last two nights, but still, I just feel awful. I had plans today to get to the bookshelves, and although I'm typing this before supper, I'm not sure if I 'll get to those shelves after supper or not. My piano lesson canceled, so perhaps I can get started on them now. We'll see. I'm supposed to do a bookshelf per week. Sound reasonable, eh? Not for a hoarder who gets emotionally attached. We'll see though!

Since Bryce had been helping his grandmother clean out her home in preparation to going to her daughter's home, he has gained some skills in going through things. So, he decided to help Justin clean out some drawers.

Justin didn't do any of the work except "Yes I want that, no I don't want that." I am grateful for the help, but now I have to go back through and pick up the mess, lol . A good use of their time though!

Always more screens! But the DS's "talk" to each other, so they are actually playing the same game together.

Big brave 4 yr odl at the dentist. He had chocolate flavored tooth polish and berry flavored fluoride treatment. He didn't wiggle but wasn't smiley either. Big brave boy!

He was humming and dancing, watching his reflection in the door of the dentists' office. Unfortunately, it was some song from a YT video or meme or something, but still, he had fun dancing and twirling! He LOVES to swing and dance!

We finished the day with our usual walk around the block, although Abishai was very unhappy about it because he wanted his bike and he wanted to be first. He needed an early bedtime. Poor little guy. Too much social time.

I bought it two months ago but hadn't opened it. Yes, it was expensive. Yes, I bought it on a whim. Because, well, it's much cheaper than going to the concert in Nashville, TN or on one of his cruises or Holy Land tours or retreats right? Most of it will be kept in the box for safe keeping. We'll see if I use each piece bit by bit.

Hey, I didn't buy you! You were given to me! Get out of there! He's been asking me to open this box several times a week. He thought it was a toy for him because it came around the same time his SWAT vehicle came.

Friends candle, Agnus Dei tea towel, coasters, notebook, Awaken CD (live concert), mug, hat, bag with song names, a leather wrap bracelet with Rocketown lyrics on it (I might wear that, it's very dainty), and a small signed poster with all 32 album covers on it. Actually, it's missing the Wonder Years set that no one really knows exists, but I have it and all the others in CD form, sometimes audio tape, sometimes vinyl record. Sweet stuff!

You know you are an ultra fan when you own all of these, sometimes in multiple formats! And, I've been a fan since 3/4 of them were released. Wow! Go West Young Man and Change Your World were my first albums, but the First Decade came out after I became a fan.