Year 6, April 2nd-4th, 2021: Easter Weekend 2021

 Well, it might be Good Friday, but it was a rough night for me. I did go to bed on time, but man, I was in and out of sleep for several hours before dawn. It was an intense dream, in that it was a situation where I would feel overwhelmed, but not scary. They were redoing a dorm they built 20 years ago at Indiana Wesleyan (the campus layout was the same as a previous dream and not their real life campus layout), and Jared and I had to try to find our stuff and move out. I couldn't find my water bottle of all things! And the building was huge and long and we were on opposite ends. It was literally a mess. But I knew that I was either snoring or waking up trying to catch my breath or trying to make my body fully wake up or something because it was awful and my heart felt like it was pounding in real life (but I'm not sure.)  Anyways, it was a really rough start to the day. I went to bed with a withdrawal headache and had to take another migraine pill about 6am. It's fine actually to take them just a few hours apart, but this migraine medication is very new to me. That helped some, but now I felt a bit dizzy and my throat hurt from swollen glands. I know the windows were open a couple of times yesterday, so my allergies are playing with me again.  And Jared was actually gone to his weekly prayer breakfast meeting. Man, I just wish he had been home for comfort.

So, we took it slow. I didn't push myself. I pushed myself yesterday through the migraine and cramps. Not today. Today I rested. I tried to stay away from screens and reading books, but hey, that didn't last that long. I finally did take some naproxen in the middle of the afternoon when I usually get the regular headache, and was able to calm everything down again. I used the heating pad a lot today and that seemed to help. But you don't really want to hear all of this, do you?

Well, the kids got up late but got all their schoolwork done. And I managed to correct it all in the afternoon when I felt better, so we ended the week well. I let them watch a history DVD, and then Abishai watched part of a Lego Bionicles DVD he's been begging to watch. Then they had their normal screen time. Abishai had been outside a bit and I had Keturah take Socks for a full lap around the neighborhood for exercise. We've had a great solid week of work this week, so I'm not worried about a little bit more screen time here and there. It was still really, really cold outside, too. Our days are so routine and ingrained in us that it makes it fairly easy to pull off even when I'm not feeling great. I did read to Abishai a bit and he snuggled and kept saying "I love you," mostly because he wanted screen time and was bored.

I had intended to take the kids out today to see the NCAA March Madness brackets, but that didn't happen. I'm going to see if Jared can drive me by there on Saturday or Sunday so I can at least see it. Maybe drop me off so I can take a photo or two, drive around the block and pick me back up. I don't know. I'll ask him. We have several things on the agenda this weekend like coloring eggs, making resurrection rolls, service at 5pm on Saturday, with a cookout possibly after that. On Sunday, Justin will go to church to serve, and the rest of us will stay home and make salad and fried cabbage to go with Easter Sunday dinner. And then we are all free after that. I'd like Jared to fix the towel rack that fell in the big bathroom, too. And I'm going to try to get some reading done. The kids have a bit of homework to finish over the weekend, which is fine. Oh and Justin will do yard work with Grandpa tomorrow. It will start warming up tomorrow, Saturday, and then hit closer to 70 degrees on Sunday, and staying in the high 60's the rest of the week. Yeah! We didn't go to park day today because it was too cold. I had already decided that yesterday. 

So yes, normal day. Peaceful in fact. Oh and the middles and I watched the Good Friday service which was good as usual. The African American woman that I think usually sings at Shelby St. was the main vocalist, which was pretty cool. I haven't heard her before. And of course, whenever I hear a song that we first sung at the Cornwall church, I remember them and think about them and pray for them. I had just watched a video of Irish dancers doing a pretty cool routine in an airport and was reminded of PEI anyways and all the ceilidhs they did, or Irish dancing parties. Oh I miss the connection to the Old World that PEI had. And I'm stuck on what show to watch next because I want to hear those accents and dialects again. But, I am thoroughly enjoying Mrs. Marple. She's such a cute old witty, sharp lady and I just love her mannerisms. Oh my word, adorable. And the murders (thanks Agatha Christie) are super hard to solve. I never know where they will end up! That's the best part! I guess I've been in the murder mystery kind of mood lately. Anyway, onwards to some rest.

Awww, Amy Grant, "Heart in Motion" record is 20 years old! Now I feel even older!

I don't feel good kind of day.

This was last night. I blogged and then came back to my couch to be more comfortable. Jared had given me the heating pad (he's been using it a lot, too). And then he built me a nice roaring fire. I didn't want to go anywhere when he does that! I'll just sit on my corner of the couch. My peaceful spot.

This is more comfy than my desk! Sort of. I still have to balance the computer and eventually I put it down. I thought about putting it just on the table, too, but I wanted to try something different.

Locust wood burns blue!

And then after the video I shot, I closed the doors, and the log collapsed! Then we just had these embers. Beautiful. Majestic.

Well, good morning! Does anyone else wake up to a child who sees what he wants and goes and gets it. Yup! Jared bought some more Legos and little guy found this tiny set of Han Solo and the Millennium Falcon on top of the bookcase. So, up he went to get it!

He also was looking through this book and recognized the Union and Confederate soldiers. I read these pages to him today and I had to go and correct the book! They made it sound like a scene from WWI with barbed fire, hand grenades, fire launchers, etc. Barbed wire wasn't patented until 1867 and I've never seen it depicted in any Civil War material. The trenches, sure. And Jared confirmed that they might have had rudimentary hand grenades, but nothing like they had in WW1 or WW2. It's a much older book form my childhood, so I found it strange. Oh well. I fixed it.

My reading buddy.

Just taking a walk with his dog in the backyard. So sweet together. Socks will be 11 years old in 10 days! I'm glad we all enjoy him as much as we can.

Just wondering and playing.

I heard cackling coming from Abishai during screen time in the other room so I came to see what the fuss was about. He was watching a kid playing a simple video game where guys beat each other up and they would fall on their heads. The kid was saying silly things like "I (the character) fell on my butt." And those kinds of words send Abishai howling!

Ah! I cannot wait for this! I got see a clip of it in ENGLISH this time and eek, he's going to be so good! The few Twitter people i follow and the FB group I'm in are in French, so they are always translating things back and forth and I can't keep up of course unless it's in English. I mainly stay in it for these kinds of updates and photos.

This was one of those poem that you read down the page and then back up the page and they mean two different, but related things. The narrator read it down and it told of the despair we have because of our sin and God's sacrifice, but when he read it back up, we heard about God's redeeming love and all that. I've seen these before but this was very cool.

Good Friday Service video

We were watching the Good Friday service which was pre recorded and broadcast twice today from church. It was 40 minutes long but very good.

*Thinking about my happy place. Get me to my safe place. So I won't explode my opinions on everyone. Think happy thoughts. Where are my people? Ok, there you are. Phew. Back to center. Peace and calm. Behind the keyboard. Safe and sound. Stay in my lane. It's not my job to tell people what to do when I'm in a real life situation, right? Or is it? Phew. I wasn't prepared for that one. Ok, happy place. Balance achieved again. You can now proceed forward.*

Wow, today was an interesting day. Loads of emotions but at least I had enough energy to accomplish what I wanted to. I showered, made resurrection rolls, colored the eggs with two kids, made Jell-O eggs, and then zoned out with coffee and some books. Then it was off to church (which was actually really great and I felt the Spirit with him for the first time in a long time) and back home again. Then off to a backyard get together. And then, well, my guard was down and I wasn't prepared to hear certain things and wham, I couldn't keep myself together much longer. Again, no one's fault but my own. But, I have my people that think exactly like me and I'll see them again next week I'm sure. And then I won't feel so alone. But I've got to figure out how to join in on conversations where I think differently than everyone else. Maybe next time. There were a few newish people around this evening. The kids had a lot of fun as you will see. I just wasn't ready for Satan to attack my brain again. Why can't I come up with the right words and thoughts on the spot? Sigh. I need to keep working on that.

Anyway, breathe, peace, get it back under control. Except Jared decided it was ok to yell at me about hating shepherd's pie and how his egg yolk broke and how I was dumb to even ask if the wood pile was done being chopped. Dude, it looked done to me. And you said you would fix the towel rack today. Well, guess what, you are fixing it tomorrow. I don't care if it's Easter. I need a towel rack. I don't need anymore wood chopped. Next week it will be 70 degrees. So, he hasn't spoken to me the rest of the day. And then I had the gall to take my mask off during the sermon and keep it off. And to tell everyone to take it off for the photo and he left his on his ear. Stupid. I should have grabbed it off his ear. But I am afraid. I'm not strong. Not in the moment. But that's it. No more masks. I said after this Sunday. Well, we aren't going to church tomorrow, so today was our Sunday in a way. No more. We live, what, a mile from the next county? What's the difference between there and here, Mr. Mayor? The state's mandate will become voluntary on April 5th. I said I was done. And I did it. Back to my people.  Back to my safe zone. Back to me being labeled as an outsider and different. Back to being alone and on the fringes. 

But that's exactly where God has put me. I just know it. I tried so hard over the years to change and fit in. I have never fully fit in with the demographics in our area. We homeschool. They don't. They all have two incomes. We don't. They all have money for house repairs. We don't. They are all healthy. We aren't. I have ADHD and my brain is way different than theirs. And my worldview is different than theirs. How I interpret the Bible is even different. Where I fit in is way different. Pass the information along and let it sit with them. That's all I am supposed to do. Pass on the information. Someone will see it on Facebook and take it and teach it. Someone might read this blog and start thinking about it.  I've taught my kids to think and they understand it and can take it to their friends if they want to. I know my place. And it's to not comply with everything a government run by fallible humans say to do when other very capable and intelligent humans disagree.  I'm not disobeying the church leaders. I've disobeying a mandate that doesn't make sense. And I believe will have major consequences on our poor babies that can't see our facial expressions. The psychological damage is immense. The fear that has been instilled in the masses. The relationships that have stagnated because we were told not to gather. The loved ones dying alone. And there's another surge coming. It will keep coming, just like the flu. Get over it. 99% of people do get over it. Where are my rebels at? Oh yeah, they are online. Time to find them.

Sorry. I did have a GREAT day and it felt good to be able to keep going and going. I almost fell asleep this afternoon but by the time I was ready, it wasn't worth it because I'm the only one who watches the clock around here. I had to put fires under everyone's butts to get dressed in something nice and eat a snack before we went to church at 5. I hate being the prodding stick because it makes me out to be the bad guy. Somebody has to do it though. And I shut them all down quickly when they started to argue. I know I was snapping because Jared was being silent but still, I said off the tablet, and I really meant it. I said put on these pair of pants, and I really mean it. And yes, we can all smell you and it's pungent, go take a shower and you can skip washing your hair.  I told you all day to shower, now go! Sigh. 

So, that was the day. Justin did yardwork at Grandpa's house. Abishai had Grandma in his Sunday School class tonight (they probably combined the rooms) and he didn't bug her too much he said. The kids did an Easter egg hunt at the cookout. And Justin demonstrated what a great kid he is by throwing a football to the 10 and under crowd and participating in the Easter egg hunt. That's my boy. No other teens were present. They went off somewhere. Abishai helped Sophia to play with the big ball, and on the swing set, and with tennis rackets as nice as could be. Keturah played on her phone and Quinn wandered around but they didn't play together. I'm glad we were there for a little over an hour. Now it's off to our rooms as usual. Only Justin has to get up early to go with Grandpa so he can serve with his small group and then with Grandma at 11am in class. That's my kids. I think Benaiah was working at CFA as normal, so we took a photo just the 5 of us. I told myself that I just need to get used to it, however, it still hurts because other families have grown children that come back and do things with their families like photo ops. Maybe we'll snag a nice one at Gary and Leah's tomorrow. That's my hope. I miss my Benaiah. I tell people I never see him and I'm not joking. I never see him. It's sad. It's like I'm such a bad person that no one wants to interact with me. So, I'll go to the people who understand. And keep working on this relationship thing. But I've used up my spoons today. I'm done for today. We have to get food prepared in the morning. And be on happier terms before we go for Easter dinner. I'm not looking forward to another Sunday of silence. Damn you, Satan, for ruining such a great day.

Sunday is coming.

I found this on FB. What a cool way to understand a family tree and genetics.

"I have an idea...."

Resurrection rolls! I made them today so I could share them with our friends tonight at the cookout. Super easy and super special!

The tomb is empty! And when I showed Abishai and asked where Jesus, the marshmallow, went, he said, "Jesus melted!" And then he answered correctly. But it was so innocent and cute. He did understand what everything meant though.

While Justin was busy at Grandpa's house, we dyed the eggs. They came out super cool this year! Abishai told me what to do and I handled dipping his for him.

I had to warm up the water/vinegar to get the lighter colors to dissolve and event then, the red/pink one didn't turn out well. I even put extra food coloring in it. Hm,...

Gorgeous!

Those speckled ones are like masterpieces!

See that light colored one in the back? That's the red/pink dye. Bummers.

I think we had some more dye in our Easter stuff, but I saw the Avengers one and thought Abishai might like it and he did.

It is so tricky to get this kid to look into the camera and actually smile with his eyes open. Eek! And he looks like a much older kid now!

Stop squinting!

I see a hint of Nora in this face!

Jell-0 eggs as usual.

I measured the water better this time and had overflow.

This was Abishai's idea! He made a cozy spot for himself for screen time. But then he got tired of using headphones and went to his usual living room spot instead. Keturah was also in the room on my computer.

Can you find Abishai?

Keturah's been watching an animated TV show geared to younger kids, just because she can! Good for her!

I started an updated version of a widely read ADHD book today and this paragraph is so me.

"I need to wear my construction hat so I can throw it at the bad guys and stop them." And he brought part of the marshmallow gun with him in the car and then to the cookout. What a handsome goof.

Oooo, he cleans up nicely! New pants and he did change his shoes to nicer Sunday ones.

Keturah was her normal self for church today.

Usually MCC gathers everyone in one arena for Easter, but, I guess they are still restricted. I might watch their service anyway for fun. BUT, how cool is that the local TV station is actually going to broadcast their service?! They must have someone that has connections because this isn't the first year that this has happened. I mean, WMUR IS THE premier TV station in the area. So cool!

I loved the video that went with these symbols. Such a cool element and I can't wait to see how they reuse these particular screens again. Beautiful imagery of Holy Week.

Well, this is us. Easter 2021. I had to remind them to take off their masks. And then Jared just had to leave the dumb thing on his ear and not smile. Great job everybody. Sigh.

Handsome guy just stopped by to refuel.

Check out Mr. Athlete throwing the football to the youngin's. He's always so good with them!

My mini me, a loner. Out there on the fringes.

And my little extrovert, taking care of Sophia and finding ways to play together, teaching her things.

They look so adorable in their matching/opposite colors.

One of the dads came out to throw the football to them, too.

Again, it's so hard to photograph this kid! But he's so handsome! This is why I want him and the others to dress up more!

Oh my goodness! Is he 6 or 8 or what?! Totally adorable!

I'm glad Justin partcipated. Actually, he was the last kid to find his last egg and he needed the others to help him. Typical Justin. Embarrassing but it's just true. I shouldn't point it out so much, but I can't help it. He's a good sport with it, thank goodness. It was actually pretty hard to find, too. And the kids did help each other a lot. "Hey, I see your color egg over here!" "And I see yours over here!" It was good to see them cooperating.

Just a few 6-10 yr old boys.

After seeing about the 50th photo of lovely families in their Sunday best for Easter, this is what I wrote on Facebook:

"Well, this is the photo we got this year. 1) no Benaiah because he was working and we went to church on Saturday, which I didn't take into account until the photo was snapped 2) I could only make them "dress up" once, so I couldn't get them try something today when we were all together for lunch 3) the mask thing. I should have ripped that sucker right off of Jared's ear. I need to find a way to photo shop it out or something. I've never photoshopped anything.

The positives 1) I tried 2) Abishai has a dress shirt on 3) 4 of us sat together for once, and Abishai got to be in Grandma's class 4) To me, we celebrate Easter every Sunday. We can get another photo another time in another place, with a little more time to prepare nicer clothes. I was exhausted Thursday-Saturday and just didn't think it through. But hey, we can dress up again another day.

It did make me realize that next time we do family photos, I want them in actual dress clothes. I want a dress on my daughter, or at least a nice sweater. I want the boys in at least polos or button downs. We so rarely dress up these days. No one has "Sunday best" clothes anymore. But I still keep "Sunday best" just in case. I don't have any dresses that fit properly without me looking like I'm pregnant, and no, I'm not pregnant and I'm deathly afraid people are going to think that. So even I had a hard time throwing something together.

But, what did we do this year? 1) resurrection rolls were made and enjoyed and Abishai said "Jesus melted!" when the marshmallow had been absorbed 2) two kids and I dyed eggs 3) everyone got several handfuls of candy and two of the boys did an Easter egg hunt 4) Oh yeah, the jell-o eggs! I forgot those were in the other fridge.

And finally, yes, we had the privilege to actually exercise our God given right to meet in person. Not without a mask, but I walked out of there without one because I wanted to. So there's that.

Easter is different every year, but the message is always the same on that particular Sunday and every other Sunday and weekday and Saturday, Christ has risen! Yes, He has risen indeed!"

 

Today was a bit odd because only Justin went with Grandma to church, and he almost didn't get out on time. Abishai was bored, but I wouldn't let him watch TV. Jared prepped the salad and cooked the purple cabbage. I put away a load of laundry and put away a load of dishes. Keturah was reading somewhere. I did hide a couple of eggs with some candy in them. Then Jared went to shower and shave. He then went out on an errand, but I have no idea where he went. He was gone for over an hour and we almost had Sunday lunch without him.

The youngest two and I loaded up the wagon with the food and misc. and walked over to Grandma's house with Socks. The food spread was so large and although I took tiny portions of everything, I was so full that I skipped dinner altogether. I felt so sick, too. I'm not sure if the new digestive enzymes are just new to me and finding junk or if I'm going to keep feeling sick on them. Time will tell. I don't think any of the ingredients would effect me because there's no foods or herbs or whatever that I'm sensitive to in there. So, we'll see. Anyway, after dinner, Jared and I walked the food home, and the other three played cards with Grandpa while Grandma cleaned up. I would have helped, but Jared was ready for a nap and I needed to talk to him. Shortly after Justin came home, and the other two stayed to help Grandpa start on his Lego set. They only got through 1/2 of a bag before they quit! What?! This isn't something you start and stop! Or maybe it is. Kind of weird for us though.

After naptime and screen time, I shooed everyone out the door because it was the same temperature outside as it was inside. I even barricaded myself at the back door so no one could go back in. When I went outside though, I found Abishai running through the water sprinkler with his pjs, rubber boots, and he asked me for some googles. That went on for another hour in various places and antics. Justin played with him for awhile, and I had Abishai go hug Keturah to get her wet. Jared started a bonfire and burned some locust wood and wood chips I think. It was obvious that Abishai had had enough social time in the last two days and after a crying fit over shoes, he didn't get to play video games with Daddy and went to bed early. It didn't take him long to fall asleep this time. Yeah! 

And now I'm supposed to watch a seminar before the link goes away, finalize the IAHE newsletter, and go to be early enough so I can take Jared to his spinal injection tomorrow. I can't go in with him this time, so I'll leave him at the door and come home. Then I'll have to go back and get him. Thankfully, it's close by and it's where he had both of his arm surgeries. And it's near where we used to live. I just looked it all up, and I can easily handle it. I just don't want to because I'm selfish and have my morning routine. I'll be back before the older kids are awake. And if Abishai's awake, we could just take him with us. We have to leave at 8am. I'll be back before 9am. Easy peasy. Too bad I won't be able to hear what fun things he talks to the nurses about!

The imperfect Easter photo.

We have a marshmallow thief! Abishai!

Very late ending game last night with Baylor and Arkansas. There were several OT's and such. I've never heard of these schools before. I do know two people that went to Baylor though. I didn't end up going downtown today, which would have been a perfect day to snatch a photo, but maybe tomorrow after I get Jared home from his injection.

Grandma and Grandpa went overboard with the goodies for Easter again, and some special treats from New Orleans.

Nerts with Grandpa.

We thought we saw an owl up in the a tree.

This ADHD 2.0 book is incredible! I went ahead and ordered myself a copy because I want to mark it up. Man, I need to stop buying on Amazon!

Sadly, it's just a decoy. But wow. How it got up there, we don't know.

This is a great horned owl, what we thought we saw. They do live everywhere in North America and the first summer we lived here, I would hear hooting.

Grandpa thought these socks were hilarious because Abishai loves his "eggy toast!" And Abishai likes them!

But, we are going to have to wait a few years before he can wear them, lol.

Daddy was watering the various trees and plants and Abishai thought it was a good idea to slide down the slide, in his jammies and boots, and run right through it. He did this from various spots over an hour. He even asked for googles to wear!

Goofball! 73 degrees today, though. The NOLA peeps said we are crazy northerners to think it's warm enough for water play.

Abishai got Justin to play a bit, too.

Blue smoke from the locust wood.

This is why I got the phone with the better camera. It took a bit of work to get it to focus on the foreground, but this looks great!

When Abishai held the ball down on the sprinkler, it made a farting noise! You should have heard his giggles!

Lumberjack eating his salad in front of his bonfire. Nice!

I can't have too many photos of his handsome man. I was watching a video of a full bred great pyrenes that had been loose for over a year. It was so hard to catch and my heart just sank. They finally caught it and took care of it, and it found a forver home. But those innocent eyes and majestic coats of fur. Gorgeous dogs.

Look at all the old man white Socks has on his face now.

Plenty warm for water play!

The lumberjack finished splitting the wood and restacked it. He was able to do it in such a way that he could take out the stakes! Wow!

Grandma bought us a new dice game, but of course, all Abishai wants to do with it is build a wall for the good guys so they can get out of the truck.

I was technically awake at sunrise this morning. I'm glad we don't have a sunrise service anymore. The congregational church in New Hampshire had one. It was a unique experience.

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