Year 6, August 16th-19th, 2021: Veritgo, Very Slow, Very Unexpected

 Off to the races again! Lots to do! Put the blinders on! The world might be falling apart, but the mundane of this household must go on. Anxiety must not creep in. The Taliban have taken over Afghanistan after 20 years of the US trying to keep them at bay. The Delta variant threatens to push schools to go to hybrid schooling and people might get a booster Covid shot. And how on earth are we supposed to coach this "homeschoolers" that think they can pull their kids out for only a few months or a year and then just throw them back into a broken system like nothing happened? Or better yet, they think someone else can homeschool them for them? Just a few of the things going on.....

But, Stay Calm and Homeschool On because we must.

I've got enough plates spinning in the air and I just don't have time to stop and read up on all these headlines anyway. I have phone calls to make. Like the one I made today to tell the dermatologist that my lovely biopsy sites are now oozing clear pus. I think it's really time for anitbiotics of some kinds, oral or topical. And I have to teach my own kids how to read, even if it's a rushed job because I had an appointment with the chiropractor at 1:30 today. And then when I got home, I spent 1 1/2 hrs with Keturah going through all her assignments in detail getting her caught up. Tomorrow, I will do that with Justin. And then it's Abishai's turn for a follow up appoitnment with the eye doctor. So do I have time to understand why the Taliban has taken over again? No. Do I want to understand care? Absolutely! Oh my, how I wish I could! Tell me all about it! Why, why, why? Why again? Why can't there be peace?

I'll tell you why. Because there never has been. From when Satan got Adam and Eve to sin in the Garden of Eden that first time near where modern day Iraq is through the whole Bible through Alexander the Great and the Ottoman Empire to all these wars of terrorism and Islam to Iraq and Afghanistan and Iran. There will never be peace until Jesus comes again. World religions clash there. The cradle of civilization. It just is. I wish it wasn't so. But I've studied my Bible just enough and I've taught world history just enough to put two and two together. We as humans will never win. We can't put enough troops on the ground. This is a spiritual battle. We cannot win this war. Only God can. And it's awful. I don't even know how to pray about it. And it's hard because my current TV show is set in the early 2000's and mimics some of the things happening then, and now history is repeating that time period but to me, it's all happening in real time again. It's so odd. Plus a few episodes dealt with bringing a deadly virus from somewhere in the Middle East, just like Covid, to London, and talked about quarantining and how close people were to be contagious and how long they had to live and all that stuff. Like this show predicted Covid 15 years in advance or something. Scary stuff.

But we can't live there. We have to move forward with cooking food, eating it and cleaning up. With planting blueberry bushes. With taking showers and doing laundry. With educating our children the best we can. With volunteering at church when no one else will. With learning to have fun in our safe environments while other families are hiding from bombs. But then, I get so mad when I go to a doctor's office and see HGTV. people discussing all the ins and outs of home decor or they are picking out the most expensive home on the market to live in or "say yes to the dress!" about bridal gowns. American TV is just so blind to the world. Drives me up the wall. Or who cares what kind of food can be fried next at the fair. Or if Johnny is first at bat at Little League. And there goes my pride and lack of humility again. Self righteousness. Judgmental attitude. I just get annoyed. There's been several calls for action for a) more workers for Kidustrial Park for months and months and months and b) for weeks for this event coming up on Saturday in partnership with the fire department. And there's still 200 volunteers needed. Where the heck is everybody?! What happened to our congregation? I'll tell you what happened. The regular volunteers scampered off to other churches. Many people I know and still talk to disappeared. Not all of them. Some are still there and volunteer regularly. And now we have a very young congregation. And they do not volunteer because of their young kids. They need babysitters. They need to "be fed." They feel "entitled." They are "too busy" with soccer practice on Saturdays or "too tired" on Sundays. We need to raise up a new generation of volunteers. But I for one have no idea how to do that. I have paid my dues. The rest of my family now serves to the max. I serve in a different ministry off campus. We need some hard and fast numbers for these young families to understand. But it's not my territory and not even my problem. I have 3 kids who use the programs. We have at least 3 people covering 3 services worth of volunteering plus more. Anyway, I know it's not just the church, it's a systemic issue everywhere. Everybody is asking for volunteers. Everybody is asking for financial help. Compassion fatigue. But at the same time, volunteerism and a hard work ethic hasn't exactly been instilled well enough into my generation. We work to play. And we play a lot more than previous generations. We pay other people so we can play more. Aka, we pay other people to homeschool our children so we don't have to. All the benefits without the sacrifice. Drives me bananas.

Ok, stepping off that pedestal now.

Back to earth now.

Keep calm and homeschool on.

Tomorrow. Catching up with poor Justin who is so frustrated with himself and his lack of concentration. Time to explore a higher dose of medication, maybe some life coaching/counseling, and revisiting some work we did last year. I forgot to actually get the workbook we liked from the library and he said something about wanting to implement those strategies, so we'll look at buying that now. Poor thing. I wish I could help and go through the exercises and help with breaking down the executive functioning issues but I barely can keep my own head above water some days. We need a bit of professional help, so I guess we'll open that can of worms again. 

So, look away if you don't like medical photos. I like to document things, so here goes it. I'll make them smaller.

Last night I reached down just to kind of soothe the right biopsy area and "pop" it went and clear pus trickled out of it and flattened back down. Fast forward to this morning and this is what it looks like. It had this orange "head" to it where the pus came out of. I did pick that off because it was annoying and it was going to tear off anyway.

This is what it looks like without the orange in the way. Decent looking scab right?

And then I pressed on it a bit more to get more pus out and barely touched and and the scab came right off on on the paper towel leaving behind another open wound again and bleeding. Ugh! Why does it keep opening up like this?

And here's the left leg right now. I did also pop this morning and clear liquid came out. It did lose the scab though. Super frustrating because I've been a very good girl and not picked these! Ugh!

Calling ALL volunteers! We need help!

Ooooo, are we going to have fall lilies!

I can walk under the tree now! It's already grown so much taller!

Keturah's boo boo is healing pretty fast. I wish mine was!

Yes, you CAN teach an OLD dog NEW tricks! Lol!

And as I predicted, I woke up with full blown sinus induced vertigo. Bummers. I immediately took dramimine but I fought hard all day to stay awake and to stand upright. I felt myself sway many times and had to catch myself on the wall or door frame or countertop. I was like the tortoise, slow and steady wins the race. I did get a little nap in. Abishai and I procrastinated this morning, so we didn't do school until after dinner. I managed to check in with Keturah briefly and then sat down with Justin for a little while to go through his difficulties. Like I said yesterday, he's just struggling overall. So I let him vent, tried to play counselor, not sure he was truly taking it in, but showed him what he could do to keep going in his school work. Not sure he believed me that Dr. Wile isn't out to get him, but I showed him where to find the math formula short cut he was looking for and tried to explain that Dr. Wile is yes, doing what Mr. Demme does and explains the how and why you get to the formula. So just work the problem they best you can. Do you get to the right answer? Well, he isn't done reading the chapter, so he doesn't know. And it took you all morning to do what exactly? I don't know. He was in his room for 3-4 hrs and he only did 2 math tests, nothing for reading comprehension and I don't know what he did for science. I'm so confused. He doesn't have a full load of work yet. He's super nervous about adding the rest of his work, plus a job, plus leadership at church, plus, real life. Yup, junior year is hard.

And then Abishai set to crying because it was screen time. I finally got him to settle on doing homework after dinner and we did get it done before Daddy came home. If you just sit still and stick to it, we would get through it so fast! But nope, he has to drag it out forever.

I don't feel good. I'm flushed, and in need of a shower. I feel so gross and hot. Jared is volunteering to watch the kids at the Rooted 10 weeks series at church. He wasn't home until 9, which meant little guy had a late night. Oh well. There's nothing on the schedule tomorrow. Speaking of schedule, I did have to move Abisahi's eye appointment because I didn't feel I could drive so it's next Monday.  And I also made an appointment int he morning for me with the PCP to discuss the restless leg medications because they aren't working right now. So, that's one thing. Man, I 'm tired and distracted. What else can I say today? I have plenty of gabapentin with the higher dosage at home, so I could take more and that would help the RLS plus all over regularity. 

So, I had some hot flashes. Getting older can really wreck havoc on your body. And I don't want to hear your stories of minor aches and pains because I've got the major ones. Having to switch from you bed to the couch every single night is exhausting. Not only is your sleep disturbed, but your significant other's is also disturbed and so is your relationship. I've got to find ways to fix it.

Right now I'm trying to stay awake enough to tap something out and remember what I was going to talk about but it's not coming to me. Maybe it's just that we all need to slow down and recognize that the hard work of habit training stick sometimes. We got through a day's worth of schoolwork. I'd be rushing trying to pack lunches and anything else for the kiddos that go to private or public school. But it's kind of fun to try to figure out what they are trying to convey. Keep reading and it will all make sense. This is why Justin is going through a critical thinking book and working on study skills. College is around the corner and it will go by quickly to get there. Lots of stuff to do.

Time for couch school! Although I spent a lot of time standing up instead. But the whole point is that they can hand me the teachers book so I can correct it. Someday I will write a few articles about how to homeschool when you have a chronic illness.

Amen. I did read more about this today. There was never a good time to pull our troops out. So sad.

Grogu makes Mommy

What are you doing, you crazy!

Lat night studies. because we both procrastinated and I didn't want even more tears.

Well, I felt much, much better on Wednesday and was ready to go at 100% and then, well, I wasn't quite 100% ready. But we got a lot done some procrastination thrown in as well. I decided that Keturah's phone must stay on my desk at all times except between 3-5pm and 7-9pm and see if that helps her attitude and her math scores. I'm about to do that to Justin as well because he claims he can't study chemistry. I'm not sure what to do with that one. I understand there's not a ton of reading in this module but it shouldn't take two full weeks to read through it. Skip the math and just focus on density and mass! Good night! And then there's Abishai who needs to play floppy fish between every paper. And then there's Jared, too, with his silent treatment towards me and I've done nothing to deserve it. What am I to do with these people? I have no idea. I did sleep better last night, at least I slept a bit longer, so we'll try again tonight for some of that.

I did finally remember what else I was supposed to be working on in the afternoons. Justin's transcript and history books organization. Whoops. I'm putting those on the schedule. Otherwise, it was a normal day. I just got done working through some emails though. I had several to kind of answer and people that needed some help. I didn't quite finish my games either today. But laundry, dishes, and I got clean! Oh and I wiped down the bathtub and cleaned under the bathmat, gross! We keep forgetting to pull that thing up! 

Justin got to meet up with his small group friends at Culver's and they talked about school things for a bit. He explained some of his issues with school, but no one could really help him with it. Bummers. I did figure out how to better explain adding and subtracting positive and negative numbers with Keturah, so I think she might do better tomorrow on her math. I don't know how we are going to squeeze in more subjects though. We are struggling still to do this amount of work. That's why I need to figure out Justin's transcript and what we really need and how to accomplish them. Maybe we do need a different chemistry. Maybe he needs less screen time overall. He needs to engage his brain and exercise it. I'm sure letting them have unlimited screen time this summer was detrimental. We need to do some new hardwiring of their brains to get in the groove. Sigh. Mommy included.

Tomorrow is haircut day! Yippee!

They all went outside today for like 15 minutes before supper. It's been super humid but lower temperatures. It even rained a bit today. But the humidity. Blech. It's August. What more can I say?

Gorgeous sunset. And super loud cicadas!

Thursday, we were still a bit slower than I would have liked. But that wasn't our fault. I had jumped on my computer to answer an IAHE email because I wanted to type it out properly instead of using my phone and then I got interrupted by an IAHE phone call that took a good few hours and several more phone calls throughout the day to resolve. It was a kind that I hadn't dealt with before and I hope that I don't have to deal with again, but now I now what I need to say and what I shouldn't say. But I feel so bad because there was nothing we could do to help, at least from my role. But it made my heart beat fast, that's for sure. Ugh. Let's just say, that we still have to fight for our freedoms. Medical freedom. Homeschool freedom. Freedom of speech. Parental Rights. All of it. You have to be vigilant. Maybe not all of the time, but it can creep right in there when you least expect it. It STILL happens. That is why we have a team of volunteers that fight for our homeschool rights at the State House. That's why there are organizations that watch for legal happenings all over the nation and the world. You might not care about politics or aren't into politics, but without those that DO care about them, we wouldn't be able to do what we can do with our children every single day. And cases wouldn't be rare. We wouldn't be able to focus on supporting homeschooling families on the actual homeschooling part. We would be, I don't know what we could do. I couldn't imagine being in the dark ages of homeschooling because our family was just on the tail end of that period when I was homeschooled. Actually, we were more on the beginning of the growth curve and explosion and now we are on the peak of that bell curve. Oh, if only my parents were around!

Speaking of which! If only my parents were around to find out that my brother Paul-Mikael, proposed to his girlfriend, Kaylin, in their favorite bar last night, and she said yes! It cracks me up! Sorry, P-M, but he looked a bit scruffy in the photo, and for my awkward little brother to a) sing karoke and b) have so much fun in a bar and c) have so many friends in a bar.....Ok, there's no d. I'm happy for him actually. Kaylin moved in with him a few months ago and has a daughter of her own. But she seems to be very stable and handles her own things and makes my brother super happy. She has a dog, too, and I think that's why brother got a dog. Her daughter and my brother's kids get along just fine. Everybody fits in the house just fine. I just never would have guessed that my little brother's life would go in this direction. From being a geeky nerd drinking whole 2L of Mountain Dew and hiding out in this tiny little bedroom in our Hooksett house playing video games all day (ok, he still does that sometimes I think) to going to a bar and singing karoke? My brother? Cracks me up a million times! But makes me smile and makes me happy, and I just love it. Not the drinking part. And not really the living together part. And I hope he's still going to church. But after the crap he has had to go through, I'm glad things are looking up. Just like how my sister's life finally stabilized after her divorce. And that's really all I want. I know they both know my opinions. I don't have to say them. We don't have to argue about them. But they are both safe, and their kids are safe, and they are surviving, and even thriving at times. But, if anyone back in NH could see my brother now, I think they would crack up laughing, too. P-M? In a bar? Proposing to his girlfriend? Wait, what? Oh P-M, we love you, congratulations!

So, that was our morning. I quickly did most of Abishai's assignments while the other two did theirs and then the boys' had haircuts. The salon was pretty quiet but we met some of our new neighbors up the street that actually work for Jennae (well, the wife does, the husband happened to stop in while we were there). Oh the atmosphere was so much better than that place we shall not name (Harry Potter reference). Ok, Great Clips or Sports Clips or wherever we went 6 weeks ago. Much quieter, real conversations, better haircuts, so much worth the higher price and wait time. Even Grogu came with us! Abishai said he sits still for Jeanne because he doesn't want to get hurt by the scissors so Daddy teased him at supper saying that maybe he should sit closer to Daddy and he will just hold a pair of scissors next to his head so he'll sit still. Or maybe not. Abishai then wiggled more and more at supper and then farted a TON and it was VERY stinky and every time Daddy said, "HEY!" both Abishai AND Justin laughed. 

Speaking of supper, I was going to make tuna melts but if I had, I would have used up all the rest of the mayo and there was no extra jar in the pantry. Why? Because someone is very heavy handed on ALL her condiment usage. Ahem. Little girl. She puts on the thickest layer of mayor on BOTH sides of her bread. We went through a whole jar of mayo in two weeks. And she is the primary one who uses it. What in the world?! And the peanut butter is also gone because she uses a ton. I already have her paying me the next time we run out of ranch dressing. We will go to the store maybe on Sunday. I don't want to go tomorrow because I have the book sale on Saturday and on Saturday, we will all be exhausted. Speaking of which, I need to figure out how to get these kids signed up without them just showing up. Grrrr.....procrastination at its best!

I rested the rest of the afternoon while it thundered outside. I'm not sure if it rained or not. But Jared had the kids plant the blueberry bushes before he went to Bible study and they seemed pretty dry. Keturah seemed to know what she was doing when I went outside to check on her. So I guess we've taught them something about gardening and yardwork. Go us! Sometimes I think, man, have we exposed them to enough normal, everyday tasks so when they have a house of their own, they can take care of it? And then, they surprise me by actually knowing how to do something. Oh, ok, you DO know how to do it. I guess we DID provide you with some experiences of planting flowers during a "serve" week through church or with working with Grandma. You DO know how to rake someone's yard. You DO know how to wash windows and clean countertops. Cool. Mission accomplished. And it didn't take hours upon hours of training either. Just some exposure. And some chores, like vacuuming, they still don't understand. And maybe they won't until it's their own house and they realize that that dirt spot, won't go away until they actually clean it themselves. But, I did teach them. The magic fairy doesn't do it all the time. So even in the most frustrating moments of "why don't YOU do this if you want this certain way?", I have to remember the long range goal of I'm training them to be adults, not children. I'm not training them to pay others to do basic household work because they might not have the money for that. They will have to do themselves. They will thank me later.

Then after Daddy left, Abishai and I finally made the Groom Lego set. I wanted to use it as a prop to get Jared to start talking again because he's had a rough week or something and hasn't want to open up about it. So I was going to see if he would role play with me like they do in a therapy session. Or at least get a good laugh at my attempt to make it a therapy session. Well, I did get him to laugh about it. And the other kids rolled their eyes. Abishai made the things all by himself with me only separating out colors like I did for Jared when he made the Bride one. Abishai made it just as fast as Jared did, too. Little stinker. He wanted to put the glasses and top hat on to pretend it was him first and and then we made it look like Daddy. What a goofball. It was fun watching him whiz through the instructions though. He's certainly a pro!

Yup, woke up to this in a national Christian email this morning. Nice one. Sigh. And then found it all over my FB feed, too.

Same email. This time, very close to home, different topic. And yes, this isn't good either.

I liked this that I saw on a friend's FB page though.

Well, at least this girl knows how to plant things. Well done! Daddy had her and Justin plant two blueberry bushes each in the backyard.

I decided to finally get some help to make the Groom Lego set. I separated all the bricks my color and Abishai actually made the whole thing by himself, with not help from me. He's a master builder!

Abishai wanted to put the glasses on top hat on so it was like me and him first. Awwwww.

Then we changed both of them to look like Mommy and Daddy at their wedding. No glasses (I wore contacts), no facial hair, no shaved hair on top., etc. I wanted to role play with them to make Jared talk but he has to get up in the morning for men's breakfast so it will have to wait until another night. I also cleared the table of the boxes and extra Legos again. These two can stay for now.

The End