Year 5, March 9th-11th, 2020: I'm 'Zausted

To quote Abishai from a year ago, "I'm Zausted (exhausted)." So, let's see. After deciding this week I'll try out my gluten challenge and then proceeding to eat a whole regular sized yeast doughnut last night, well, yes, gluten still hates me. The brain fog hasn't set in yet, but I feel weird all over. I feel pain in my neck kind of like when I have the flu. I'm extra tingly in spots that usually don't have any issues. My low back is 1,000% worse. And nerves are starting to flare. Sigh. I'll still eat the gluten to see if my body can "get over itself" but it's not looking good. I might do this again, but with a lot less quantity of gluten in the beginning at least. After Thanksgiving I had a couple of Timbits on the way home from Michigan and I didn't notice much difference. So, maybe there's some kind of limited gluten I can have. I just don't want to be packing crushable crackers or bread overseas with me. Oatmeal is easy. I can do that with cold water if I have to, and plain. No big deal. I was just hoping I wouldn't have to go without any special breads made maybe by real local Holy Land people. Sigh. Is rice a thing over there? I know it is obviously in India, but what about Israel? Hm,....Anyway, it was weird because I feel like I'm always looking at the kids' stuff and saying that it looks yummy but when I ate two sweet Hawaiian rolls, they didn't taste very good to me. They taste fake. Same with "white" wheat bread and a little Debbie snack cake. Ok, maybe because they are all processed and at least some of the GF stuff I eat isn't processed, but still, my tastebuds weren't as excited as I had hoped they would be. I kept looking in the pantry thinking "What could I try that I don't normally eat" and nothing was jumping out at me. I guess I could try the freezer next. Maybe we still have some ravioli or something. I could have the meatballs that have wheat in them. Maybe a real chicken nugget. I choose this week because we have nothing extra going on during the weekend and I'll have time to recover even into next week. Yes, I have to think that way. Oh, and it's going to be raining off and on, so that may affect a bit of my pain, but that means I can't go out and walk or work in the garden so I won't have any extra pain from those things that could skew the results of eating gluten. I hope to survive the week. We'll see.

As mentioned above, it's going to rain, so I made a beeline for the "blue working store" (Lowe's) for a sprayer for the weed and grass killer that I bought since I couldn't find an empty one in the garage. Abishai went with me and we joked about getting a tree for Daddy. He even threw a fit when we left without one! Then we dropped off the lion that belongs to Keturah's choir because she was still sick, with throbbing headache and clogged ears/runny nose, and couldn't attend choir. Abishai and I had lunch outside though because it was gorgeous! Lots of clouds because of the storms coming, but warm nevertheless. We watched the dirt tractor work on the Beavers' front yard, too. It's all smooth now and they've gotten the black fencing all pulled up and to the street for trash day. Yeah! It's exciting, but also a little frustrating when you start comparing how quickly they can get things done because they are able bodied. I'm over here pretending my husband is gone for months because he can't do anything, like he can't even hardly eat. So, I'm in extreme pain, too, but I have to grin and bear it and keep surviving because his is way worse. Now he's talking about seeing a spine surgeon. Sigh. But anyway, that's how it goes.

So I sprayed the grass and weeds in the garden and realized that this kind I have is for stuff that is already growing and not for preventing weeds. Oh well, I just want to keep them at bay until I can drag the shingles out and use them on the edges and get the mulch down. But I would have to cut the shingles with a utility knife and I can barely pull an extension cord around to vacuum the car, never mind hold onto a heavy shingle and try to cut a straight line. I might have to have Justin help me. But he was busy working on school work today, and I didn't think about it. Maybe on Wednesday or something. We'll see. And then yes, I vacuumed the car. How can it get so dirty in a year? We do eat a few things like crackers or a granola bar, but not greasy foods. And how on earth did so much dog hair get in there when the dog has never been in it? I wanted to try to keep it nicer than I did the van because it was Leah's car, but I don't know how. There's already ground in dirt that I can get out without maybe steam cleaning it or something, and that's not going to happen right now. Sigh. And the DIRT on the plastic/vinyl parts I will do another day. Sigh. I'm good at cleaning up trash and staying organized, but it's the cleaning that annoys me the most. I had to wash the heavy bathroom rugs today because Keturah spilled something on them in a major way. I don't like doing them in our washer because they are heavy, so I don't wash them often. The stain did go away though, thank goodness.

Then I finally sat down to go over homework at about 3:30. Both kids struggled in their math. Both kdis need one on one time in history. Sigh. But we got some work done and decided on a mini study unit on the first colonies and studying further into how they lived compared to other time periods and such. That means I will switching up what I'm doing for read alouds for a couple of weeks, which is the first time I've tried this. But I want to make sure I hit deep on American history when we go over it in world history. It will further extend out our world history, but we've got plenty of time. Plus we need to finish up Shakespeare as well. Who knows where we will end up at the end of May. We have 9 weeks left, 45 days, officially. We're getting there! And my to do list is getting there, but now I must be off to read Macbeth. I failed to get it done over the weekend and Justin needs me to go through it with him. Ugh. I think it's important to study but I don't want to teach it right now. Yeah for great books that know all the vocabulary and meanings of phrases and background information! See, you don't need to be an expert to teach high school. You have to have some good tools, and then guide the student in THEIR learning. And then I'll correct Spanish, too. Ugh. And I'm 'zausted from doing all the things today. Let's see how far I make.

Benaiah's still arguing about college finances. Jared is still lying in pain in the bed. Abishai is still all over the place. Keturah is still, laying still. And Justin is still eyeing his phone. Such is our life.

G-daddy working his magic.

Old School DCTalk. Such babies! It looks like they were still in college.

Abishai telling me about all his plans to read his book and eat lunch outside.  I'm grateful for a little guy who likes to be outside!

Lunchtime and reading time. I'm having a protein shake.

Abishai used his fan he got at Rocket Fizz to cool off his chicken nuggets.

Yum!

Wow, what an emotional day! Tried to hit the ground running but kids were super slow again. What makes them think they can lay in bed after I've physically taken off the covers and been in there rooms several times to wake them up? And then they stayed on electronics too long because I got caught up in online work SO no electronics at all tomorrow. I should have pulled Keturah away from her math earlier because when she doesn't get up, takes a nap, and putzes around, we don't wrap up read alouds until 5pm. Ugh. Same with Justin when his phone is in his bed with him. I keep telling him to leave his phone on my desk after he checks it in the morning, but then he forgets and I am busy doing other things and....

Ok, but that's not what made it a really hard day. Now that it's been announced on Facebook and again through our church's email lists, I can share that yesterday, our children's minister whom we all love, Mrs. Alison, and her husband Justin, delivered a baby boy yesterday but he passed away 6 hrs later. They had no expectation that anything was wrong until delivery. I have no details as to when and how it all happened but she indicated on her page that it was some kind of disease or birth defect. On my side of things, I saw the announcement, but didn't read carefully enough. I posted "Congrats!" and then immediately another friend told me to keep reading. My heart was racing because my computer was being slow and I HATE when I make mistakes like that. It makes me look so insensitive. But everyone is absolutely heartbroken. Mrs. Alison also had a miscarriage a year ago. She's our CHILDREN'S minister. I just saw her on Sunday sitting on one of the couches trying to rest while still doing her job. She looked tired and ready to have her baby boy. She was due any day. I just keep thinking there she was, with her hand on her tummy, stroking her baby boy and within 24 hrs, they had lost him. It's awful and unfair. I stayed subdued and quiet most of the day, talking softer than normal with my kids, trying to be grateful when they fight and argue. I told the older kids what happened. They are well aware of situations like this and pregnancy things because of Abishai and my love for all things pregnancy and infant stage. Our Justin remembered that Mrs. Alison had a miscarriage. Kids can be sympathetic and understanding. Perhaps we'll take some time tomorrow to make some cards. I'm not one to intrude on private time in these circumstances with meals and flowers. I like to just sit back and pray and think over how they have to rest on God minute by minute. I can't imagine at all, and yet, I understand grief.  I never used to cry over other people's situations, but now I do because I understand the agony. Alison's post was brave and shared that they were going to donate the baby's heart and that God will use his testimony for good. I'm sure it was hard to even say that in the raw moments of the last 36-48 hrs. Please pray for them obiviously. There are 6 other people (or spouses) on staff who are pregnant right now. I can't imagine she will want to come work any time soon. Everything is set up for her maternity leave anyway and we've got our volunteers ready to go and such. But gosh darn it, why them? Why?! Such sweet people, so loving and caring. It's devastating.

And what makes it worse is when I see articles about people who are 36 weeks finding out that their child will not survive birth because of a disease or defect and then having an abortionist inject the infant in the womb with medication that stops it's heart. And saying in their stories that it was the humane thing to do or that it's ok. Or others flaunting their abortions. Life is so cruel. And tornadoes in Nashville and corona virus panic where there's literally no toilet paper, cleaning products, etc. on store shelves. And everybody is freaking out and it's affecting things like our homeschool convention and travel plans. Schools are shutting down now in our area. Kids that are on the free lunch and breakfast plan can have their parents pick up some meals for them, but parents will have to find babysitters or use up all their vacation plans. Even IU has shut down for 3 weeks. We have just a handful of confirmed cases here in Indianapolis. Take a chill people. None of my friends are panicking. But we spend all this attention on saving people who are alive now, but we support abortion? Life is a big, big mess. I'm grateful that I can chat with my kids as things come across social media. I hope that I'm putting some common sense in their heads about these things so when it's their turn to deal with their panicked peers, they can tell them that we will not give in to a spirit of fear but trust God in everything. Abishai now has a runny nose but I'm going to run out to the doctor to get it diagnosed and expose us to more germs. It's just a runny nose. So, that was a part of my day.

Then I had a zoom meeting with the volunteers of the IAHE and we discussed our procedures for reassuring convention goers that we are taking precautions for the corona virus but unless the governor shuts us down, the party is still on! We can't afford to cancel. This is our do or died convention. We have obligations to meet. And then we spent the rest of the time talking about details. I knew some of them, and some the details won't be clarified until I get my rep packet with the details of my responsibilities. I just feel so bad for our top leaders doing all the fine details. It sounds like Tara was on the phone all day today trying to get things straightened out. It's crunch time for sure. And Jared and his back and how are we going to handle that at convention and on Sunday when I have the concert. Lots to do and figure out and lots of prayers going up.

I did try to discuss Macbeth with Justin today in detail, the first couple of scenes. Keturah and I went over some colonists things. Abishai asked to do some homework because he knows it comes before screen time. He spent a good part of the day playing with his kinetic sand. I let him take out two new colors just as long as he kept them on separate trays. He had a good guy base and a bad guy base with his army figures. Sweet! He also got out play dough next to me on the floor in the sunroom and I let it go because he was playing well. But oh I find it so disgusting bevcause we cannot keep these floors clean with all the crumbs and dog hair and I hate scooping that up into things like playdough. Eew!! I finally cleaned it up. It wasn't hard and not that gross, but I still don't like it. Yuck! I did get a couple of things on my desk done, but still have a couple more to go, so I'll wrap this up.

So, I went from waking up too slowly, to devastating news, to trying to keep going for the day, to being excited about convention, to realizing it w as 9pm and no one was heading towards bed yet. Ugh! I hate being the clock police! Go to bed so I can focus on my other tasks and not watch the clock for you. Good grief! But at least I have kids to keep track of, right? Sigh. What a weird day.

It's business as usual, with a couple of twist, for our IAHE team. Convention is still ON! Plus I bought tickets for Brickworld, Lego event, in the same venue the week before convention. They too are adjusting, so not having their free play area, but their event is still happening over all.  We went a couple of years ago so I'm excited to see Abishai's reaction now that he's even more into Legos. Benaiah and Ava might come as well.

Pretty cool graphic. And yes, Michiganers do use the "mitten" to show where they live. My fellow classmates did that all the time.

Lots of free play today. He even asked for a roller and that's why the play dough came out as well. We kept the play dough in another room. He's very good about keeping everything on the trays and not mixing them, thank goodness.

He found a tank to go with his bases and planes to transport the army guys.

Then we built a "cave" using his monster truck ramps. It was kind of hard to keep the sand upright unless you packed it down. It kind of "flows" with gravity. Cool to watch, but hard to build things sometimes.

He wanted me to build the cave and then he took over when I wasn't doing it his way. Ok then, that works because he then sat there for another hour working on it.

He cut out this puzzle pieces by himself today! And we did some gluing and coloring.

This was sweet. Someone from church asked me how to get in touch with Gary and Leah because Gary or other pastors would come and pray with people (when asked) when they would move. And since this family has been with the church for decades, I of course made that connection. Gary happened to me in town and made it a priority. I just love serving the older folk of our church who like the old traditions that were kind of abandoned as the church grew so big. And this older woman was also the one who liked to give Gary and Leah marmalade. It's so sweet! I don't want these older people lost in the newness of the moment of my generation. We wouldn't be here without them. I look up to them a lot. I know we are reaping the benefits of their faithfulness and it breaks my heart when I see less and less "programming" for them or things that they like in a church. We can't serve all the generations well at the same time, but I still don't want them lost in the crowd. I grew up with the older ladies serving during coffee hour or doing dishes at potlucks. I grew up with older men greeting at the doors and mowing the lawn of the smaller churches I've been part of. They are an invaluable part of our community and at least to me, they are never, ever forgotten. I'm glad it was a wonderful visit!

Hehehe, I sometimes see people on Instagram sharing photos of their zoom meetings with business partners or accountability partners. Now it's my turn! Love these like minded homeschool folks! And technology worked well tonight! It didn't do so well at lunchtime today when Tara went live on our Facebook page with one of our speakers to address some of the concerns about the corona virus. The speaker will be talking about teens and social media and such, so she was encouraging listeners to talk with their teens about how all media affects our perspective like creating hysteria over this virus. I don't have time to attend this speaker's workshops, but I'm sure it's going to be good! T-minus 17 days until convention!

Today was a great day. (Skip a couple of paragraphs to find the great part of the day). We all are still grieving with our children's minister and her husband, especially after she posted some beautiful photos of little Benjamin's hands and feet. I've been praying non stop since yesterday because I know that grief comes in waves. I can't imagine going home with empty arms. We prayed long and hard and with tears in our eyes at Bible study tonight as well since we all know and love the Hankins and volunteer with them. Our church even sent out emails sharing the news. I know they are surrounded by prayer and love. There are no other words to say except I'm trying to love my kids more today because of their loss. They pour such much into our kids anyways. I wish there was more we could do to take away the pain, but we can't. We can just pray that comforting arms of Jesus are with them through each step they have to take in arrangements and future plans. As Solomon said, there's a time to weep and a time to leap for joy. Also, we weep with those who weep (it's also in the Bible somewhere).

The corona virus is ramping up and schools and events are being closed left and right. The Big 10 I just talked about in the last post will still be held but no fans are allowed at the venue, only the teams and some family. That means a HUGE loss of income for our city. Now, we do hold a lot of events all year round, but cancelling an event can really hurt us, too, especially with the general public being out less and less as well. This is not good for the economy at large either. There is no toilet paper anywhere. I posted about using the cloth wipes I had been using and put away thinking I get afford toilet paper, but I got them back out again because we don't have a stock of toilet paper here. Why toilet paper? Who knows. But all the hand sanitizers and soaps and cleaning supplies have been wiped from the shelves. America is known for it's mob mentality and this is a mess! However, it's not my friends! Most of my friends are posting that they think it's insane, too! So who is buying all the stuff? I don't know. I think this virus is scaring people because of it's unknowns, like which antibiotic will kill it, and it is easily spread. But flu is easily spread and just as deadly. I'm doing my due diligence for the sake of the general public but until I'm told to stay home, I'm still going about my business. We have life to live.

I am now worried about our IAHE convention. We needed this convention to go well so we can fund the next one and it's a make or break year. We've pushed so hard on it this year. I would hate to see it be shut down. We will not be shutting it down ourselves. It would have to be the venue or the governor or something. Please pray that it doesn't happen. College have now gone to online lectures only. Elementary schools are closed. Competitions are cancelled. And it's mostly because of mass hysteria. All the big wig doctors are furious as to what the media has done to this. We need our convention. We are a non profit organization. We can't fund what things like the magazine without it.  We are all volunteers. No one gets paid for their jobs in our organization. I don't know the budget, but we do have regular office type costs. Please pray for us.

And of course Jared, too, is still unsure of his next move with his sciatica. Now we are talking more steriods or something more invasive. Something's gotta give. And he is supposed to be at convention with me as this job was supposed to be for the two of us. I can handle it and the organization knows about it and I've asked them for prayer and such. God will provide the helpers we need at the right time, but I was hoping that Jared will be bitten by the "homeschool bug" while he "worked." And then what about concerts? Please don't cancel that, too, people! For now it looks like all the bands are still heading out on tours. I did see that Jim Daneker, keyboardist for Smitty, mention that he's bringing his synthesizers for the pop songs. I think the concert my friend went to wasn't part of the official tour because the band was in rehearsals for the tour this week. I'm a little confused but it's giving me hope that there will be more pop songs. I know Mr. Daneker saw my comment and I often comment on his posts, so hopefully he will push for the pop music some more. There's hope! Praying that we can still enjoy life! I've been waiting (not so) patiently for these big events for months! Sigh.

Now, onto the better part of the day. It was a normal at home homeschool day. We got lots of reading done, math, discussion about this widespread panic, discussion about our friends the Hankins, some giggles, some fights and all the rest. I asked on facebook if people have time to talk to their kids about the things I get to talk to my kids about and some said yes or sort of. So, that's good! Ketruah and I were discussing how Rome needed to be at its' height so the Gospel could easily be spread when Jesus did come. And how America is like Rome. We talked about how the Pilgrims actually spent a few years trying to worship in secret and then get to Holland before they even thought about crossing the ocean. Most textbooks will mention Holland in one sentence and then focus on the first winter and then the first Thanksgiving. I'm reading a different reader aloud than our normal history textbook to give us a chance to dive into the colonies of Jamestown and Plymouth more so that Justin can catch up and really grasp what it was like, etc. Justin and I had a nice long discussion of the first Act of Macbeth. We have some good resources, so that is helping. I hope to finish Macbeth by the end of next week, but we'll see. Abishai asked to do some schoolwork, too! I tried to keep them all away from electronics today because of too much time on them the last few days. And Keturah got in trouble for lying about something and then sneaking a DS in her bed, so she's grounded for awhile again. Sigh. Benaiah skipped group because it was a talk on money and instead crammed for his Bible test and went to bed when Abishai did at 9. Alrighty then. Maybe I will head to bed early, too, if I quit being distracted by everything else, lol.

I think this is when she started to hate dresses. Yes, she was my "chubbiest" baby. And boy did/do I have the cutest dresses! She would look great in certain clothes if she would just try! Anyway, Keturah can be pretty moody, lol.

I bought this with some cloth diapers. They are home made wipes that I have used as toilet paper. I had just put them away last week! Well, they are coming out because I might as well go back to using them if we run out of toilet paper. They don't add much to the laundry but do help you save money. What do you think people that lived through the early 1900's and people in modern day remote villages of Africa, South America, Russia, China, etc use? Reusable/washable everything. Yeah, kind of gross but it can be done! Use hankies, washable feminine pads, cloth napkins and reach for regular towels, not paper towels. Things we should be doing anyway.

Goofball. He also walked around moving his hips so that his pants which were too lose would fall down. He played with his kinetic sand again, letters with Keturah, watched videos with Justin, enjoyed a very old Lego movie about robots, and said, "I want attention!" often. Lol.

The book I just finished reading. Nevermind that it's $34! I have to have it. It's that good and in this format! It's like 3 books in one and has study questions. It's allegorical and about redemption. I hope Keturah heard the overall message of it. I can't wait to share it was Abishai someday. I think we've had it for like 6 months, lol. I loved it!

I splurged, but that's why I'm a fanatic fan. Sigh. They were one of my top three bands with Newboys and Michael W. Smith. I've met them all, too. They only had two original band members left, Mac and Mark, but the concert was so good. Remember it sold out quickly at their Indianapolis venue, but I was able to get in because I volunteered with Food for the Hungry. They even had real seats for us for most of the show! I only missed Mac's solo stuff. Mom would have loved this compilation, too.

All my favorites (and radio singles). I don't think I have all their newer albums because I stopping buying much music 15 years ago. But yes, I can sing all of these.

Supposedly there are scenes from every stop on the last tour, so our venue should be in it as well. I would have to look back at that blog or whatever because Mac said they were recording a certain song or two from our venue. I also ordered a poster with pictures from every venue. This are the last things I will purchase from my beloved Third Day band from Georgia.

See! Jim liked my comment about more pop songs! His post was pictures of his keyboards are in their cases and ready to load up. Yippee! See ya soon!

Also, we have a goat in the house that distracted us from our school work today. He was all the way at the other end of the house but we could hear him from the fireside room. Oi!

The End