Our Family

Our Family
Benaiah, Justin, Melinda, Abishai, Keturah, and Jared

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Day 310: The Spoon Theory

Before I get to the highlights of our fairly calm, restful day, I'd like to explain something.  And remember, this isn't just for you guys, but it's a journal for the kids to page through someday, too.

So, the spoon theory is something those with chronic illnesses may speak about.  Basically, we only have so much energy and time in a 24 hr period, right?  Well, think of each chunk of time or energy is a "spoon."  Now, the average person may have let's just say 50 spoons.  Those with illnesses like chronic fatigue or fibromyalgia may have 20 spoons, or even less.  Therefore, we have to carefully choose what we will spend our spoon on.  We simply cannot push ourselves and add to our spoons for the day without crashing the next day or days.  This is what often happens to me.  I have a great day, or need to push through a day like yesterday where I sat in a chair all day, and then pay for it the next day.  I was so sore in all my fibro "points" and generally so tired that I was almost to the brink of crying about it again.  I find I don't have many days at home to work on home projects or tackle phone calls or whatever, so I want all my days to be super productive.  Well, some days just can't be that way.  I have to rest.  Like today, my mind was decently awake, but I had to lie down and give my spine a break from all the sitting.  It made a world of difference to spend a couple of hours taking the pressure off of my shoulders and back.  It was a good thing, too, because I had to chase Abishai around tonight while the kids were at youth group and choir.  Jared has come up nauseous again.  Boo!

I am blessed to have tons of friends that have never pushed me to do more than I can do.  I put that pressure on myself.  And most doctors have been pretty good about dealing with it.  But next time you're sore from a hard day's work in the yard or chasing kids or a good strength training workout, and you're able to recover in 24 hrs, remember, not all of us are that lucky.  It hurts, and no matter how hard we try to stay calm and treat everyone kindly, sometimes we just can't.  Or we might be standoffish because we are spending all our energy not to scream in pain.  That's the spoon theory.  I have to choose what I do and sometimes, the bed wins.

Meanwhile, the kids had a relaxing day as always, and there was little fighting.  I was able to prepare enough stuff for co op while Abishai was awake so that I could lay down while he napped.  I was also awake enough to tackle my Bible study instead of doing it tonight when I can't keep my eyes open.  I also spent time in the kitchen of course.  Oh, and when I'm laying down, I use that time to make plans or think through tough problems like what to do with all the toys that are driving me crazy!  I was able to reframe the situation in my mind, and have a plan for when I do feel like I have enough energy to tackle it.  And tackle it in bits and pieces.  Keturah was a doll today and did a great job cleaning up her Barbies and putting them away neatly.  It's not her fault that we are squished for space.  But I think I will spend some reducing the number of each type of toy (like get rid of 1/2 of the toy cars!) and books, and tackle those old file boxes now that they have taken up residence in my room.  I don't want more space or more shelves.  I want to be content with what we have and be able to keep it clean and picked up.  I also remembered that I grew up in a much more cluttered house and I, too, only had a 2x2 piece of carpet to play on most of the time.  I survived just fine.  My mother was just way too busy to fuss with the house much and my dad was a very bad hoarder and he also didn't have time to clean it up when he drove 2 hrs one way to work at time.  I don't resent them for it.  It's just how we grew up.

This picture is for my sister, Stefanie.  This is her loom and we pulled it out with her permission because Keturah's been asking for one.  The pieces are all there, but we had to order a new kit of yarn and such.  Amazingly, they still sell this exact loom, so it was easy to buy a kit!  Stefanie had finished the original kit, and I'm going to gentle hand wash it for her.  It's a very, very long scarf.  I'm just glad there wasn't any signs of mouse or insect damage since it was in Gary and Leah's shed for 4 years.  So, there ya go, passing on some craftiness!

Jared is a sucker for $5 movies when he passes by a bin of them.  So, he had to pick this one up so Justin could watch it.  I think I've seen it before, so I didn't take the time to watch it with him today.  The kids were just amazed that it was filmed 30 years ago, lol.  A "Hoosier" refers to students at Indiana University or anyone from the state of Indiana.

Random stuff in my hallway.  Why is there an orange home depot bucket (empty) in my hallway?  Who knows!  I think Keturah was trying to carry Abishai in it.  Plus a funnel with a trumpet mouthpiece on it, plus a nerf gun, plus cars and books and trains.  Sigh.  Toy clutter.

When Keturah cleaned up her Barbies, she found the big bus again and put some stuffed animals in it so Abishai could take them for a ride.  Abishai loved it!  Pooh Bear, a giraffe, and a fox.

Watching fancy cars on YouTube.  I'm hoping Jared's stomach nasty isn't another round of the flu bug.  

Cars lined up as always.  Abishai loves stacking them up.  Also, these two trucks are a bit rusty because they spent the majority of their time in a toy box in the rain on the deck in Charlottetown.  However, one of them says "Shaw's" on it, which is one of the big supermarket chains in NH and one of them says, "Agway" on it, which was a the suburban farmer's store in our town that did sell hay and other feed, but had basics like tools and mouse traps, too.  Therefore, these were my brother's trucks.  Abishai loves them!
Here's a couple of pics from yesterday's competition.  Jess was our couch again and her mom kept score.  Her brother cleared the boards for us.  And her brother is the other Ben on the team.

The Royal Purple people!  This month's mascot was a can of "silly string."  It's ok to relax and be a little silly (just not too much!) and have fun, and the string keeps the team united.  We did have a lot of laughs because we had one quizmaster follow the team around for most of the day and he was very relaxed.

Team expectations for next practice.

My hand must have been shaky tonight, because the photos are blurry.  But, Abishai wanted to play for the soccer balls that are meant for a mission team to take on the field and distribute.  He kept throwing them out of the net while I kicked them back in.  We walked up and down the stairs literally 10 times.  We listened to Sissy and Baba sing.  We had a snack and watched Cars 2 on Mommy's phone.  And we hoarded cars from another little guy our age.  But it all wore Abishai out, so he was ready for bed when we got home!

Abishai also watched the Baba play indoor 9 square.

Abishai kept swinging his foot backwards.  Oh and we also rode the elevator and he loved that!  Now we are both exhausted.  Good night!

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