Then, we met with the principal of Benaiah's new school this evening and toured the building. Although it will be great for him and he'll do well, I still struggle with this sending him off to school thing. I've taken pride in that we had a flexible schedule and could take vacation whenever we wanted to. School didn't take all day and part of the evening. So sending him to any school, no matter how fine a school it is, or how confident I am in the teachers and students, is still hard for a homeschooler like me. I wasn't prepared for this. I was gearing up to be prepared to send him off to college, sure, but I'm not done with him and I don't want him to miss time with his siblings. It's just a year. No one says we have to continue after that. We don't even know where will be living come next May anyway! (that's when our lease is up, but who knows if we'll stay here or not). So, things can change. Attitudes can change. This is temporary and I have other kids who need me, too. Thankfully Grandma and Grandpa will help with transportation, as well as Daddy. But there will be parent meetings and fundraisers. Grade reports and tests. Money for field trips. All those things that we've tried to avoid for years. Sigh. I'll get over it, eventually, but I think my fellow homeschoolers will understand that I just want to go hide under a rock and weep. It's a homeschooling mom thing I think. Or just plain Mommy Guilt.
Life just needs to slow down, not speed up. I haven't added our homeschool stuff to the calendar yet and we already have multiple things for youth groups and now B's school on the calendar! I'm going to just have to say no to things. Stick with just Sunday morning and Sunday evening and skip the during the week extra activities like Taco Tuesdays and 4th meal and movie nights, and and and. Too much! What happened to just being home as a family? Just because it's part of the culture to stay busy, doesn't mean we have to. Gotta guard the time we have at home because we only have so much time with our kids. Sorry, youth leaders, you don't need them every day!
It's been a crazy tough couple of weeks for me, but we'll get into a routine I'm sure, and then life will probably fly by even faster! I'm with Justin, I just want to stay home! So, tomorrow we will! I will only get into my car to practice parallel parking, but I will NOT leave the parking lot!
|Abishai is very tactile, so he's been rubbing his forehead along the carpet at home. He nearly did the same on this mat at B's new school!|
|Baba, can I play?|
|Only kid with an outie belly button, btw. But, fun with Dad all the same.|